Episode 9: Dancing Through Life | With Sarahla Jacobs, owner of Studio J, choreography, classes and dance activities

00:00 Speaker 1 How do we fill ourselves with positive energy? How do we make activity and movement part of everyday life, even without a gym membership or having grown up with it? A conversation with Sharale Jacobs, with tips, behind-the-scenes secrets, and a look at how each of us can—and should—give herself this gift. How do we turn our lives into lives of shlichus filled with meaning? I’m Chani Moskowitz, a shlucha in Kharkiv, Ukraine. In this podcast, we’ll meet different women who bring their shlichus to a variety of fields and, through it, help each of us find and refine our own shlichus in the world. Because living the lives we were created to live is the best thing there is. Shlichus as a way of life. We’re starting now. Hello and good afternoon, Sharale Jacobs. Sharale, right? Not Sarah.

00:53 Speaker 2 Right. Hi.

00:55 Speaker 1 How did you stay Sharale all these years, as you grew into Sharale?

00:58 Speaker 2 Great question. The truth is, I grew up with the name Sharale. Around age twenty, I changed it to Sarah. Everyone asked me, “Why Sharale? Why not Sarah?” So I said, “Okay, let’s change it to Sarah,” and everyone called me Sarah. But then, at some point about eight years later, around age twenty-eight, I said, “I’m more Sharale.” I’m just Sharale in my soul. That’s my name. That’s me, that’s my energy, and I don’t need to be embarrassed by it or change it when I come into certain places or meet certain groups of people. So, Sharale.

01:38 Speaker 1 It came back in a big way. So introduce yourself to us beyond your name, so everyone listening can picture you. What do you do, who are you, what are you involved in, and why are we sitting here talking in the first place?

01:50 Speaker 2 How lovely! First of all, thank you. Thank you for reaching out to me.

01:52 Speaker 1 Gladly.

01:54 Speaker 2 I’m thirty-five, I live in Kfar Chabad, and I just dance. I just dance. I’ve danced since I was three, maybe even earlier—I don’t remember. It’s my work, it’s what I do, it’s my shlichus. I’ve been fortunate enough to earn a living from it, and I thank Hakadosh Boruch Hu for that every day. I have a dance studio here in Kfar Chabad. I lead workshops, group-bonding days, dance events, school programs—anything that—

02:25 Speaker 1 All over the country.

02:25 Speaker 2 Fits into... yes, the field of dance and movement.

02:30 Speaker 1 Nice. So it was kind of obvious to you. You didn’t suddenly choose a profession one morning; you grew up with it.

02:36 Speaker 2 Right. The truth is, when I finished high school, most of my friends went on to study teaching. Some went into other professions, accounting and things like that, and I was the odd one out who wasn’t going to study teaching. I did attend a seminary that suited my values, but I quickly felt that being on that track—carrying a bag to school and being a teacher—wasn’t me. So I was very different back then, and I’m grateful to my mother, who supported me all the way and always encouraged my dancing. She sent me to every class, every competition, every workshop she could. And after high school, she didn’t pressure me to study anything in particular; she gave me the freedom to choose. I was in the first class at Wingate College and the Wingate Institute when they opened a charedi branch.

03:29 Speaker 1 Wow.

03:30 Speaker 2 So I trained professionally to teach dance and sports, and that’s the direction I took. Alongside that, from the age of sixteen, I was already teaching dance classes for girls, taking part in performances, and creating choreography for various shows and organizations around the country. That’s where I began to develop my professional skills.

03:57 Speaker 1 Dancing nonstop.

03:59 Speaker 2 Yes.

04:00 Speaker 1 And you’re also a trained fitness instructor.

04:02 Speaker 2 Right. Fitness was always there. I always loved fitness too, and for some years I worked quite a bit as a personal trainer. During COVID, all the gyms closed, and that became a great opportunity to go to clients’ homes and do fitness workouts on their rooftops—for couples, sisters, mothers. It was a wonderful opportunity. And until recently, because I really love working with older adults, I taught exercise and bone-strengthening classes in many community centers and local councils for older women, senior women. So I would exercise with them and also volunteer. I still, in my spare time—

04:51 Speaker 1 Wow, beautiful.

04:52 Speaker 2 Visit older women, even for just ten or fifteen minutes. It’s such a privilege, and I say everyone can do it. So why not?

05:01 Speaker 1 There’s no age limit.

05:02 Speaker 2 Right.

05:03 Speaker 1 Wow, beautiful! Explain this subject. Say a woman is listening to us and this whole world sounds foreign to her. What does it have to do with her, who needs it, and why is it important at all? We have Torah, mitzvos, loftier things to occupy ourselves with. Where does this fit into the life of someone who, until now, hasn’t given it much thought?

05:28 Speaker 2 I think sports, dance, and movement are like food. Okay, a woman might come to me and say she doesn’t connect with the food I make, or that she doesn’t like eating. I’d suggest she try other things. Today there’s such an abundance. You might like vegetarian food, vegan food, very spicy food, raw food. There’s so much variety. You can’t say, “I don’t like food.” I can say, “I don’t connect with Jerusalem-style food; I prefer more Middle Eastern food,” or “I prefer vegetarian food. I don’t like salty food. I do like salty food.” There are endless possibilities. You just need to find the right cuisine, caterer, chef, restaurant, or menu, and enjoy eating. It’s fine if not everyone likes my food. It’s fine if not everyone likes a particular caterer’s or chef’s food. But there’s no way that today you can’t find food you like. And it’s the same with sports and movement. If someone didn’t connect with something, she should keep looking. Within this world of movement, there’s dance and there’s sports. You might enjoy anything from a morning walk to fencing or horseback-riding lessons, running backward, swimming, floor exercises, Pilates, yoga, or fusion. There’s so much variety. If someone didn’t connect with the Pilates class at her local community center, or with the gym class she remembers from school—maybe putting on leggings, doing the exercises, and running or walking around the studio felt a bit like a nightmare—go and try something else. Have a taste, keep going, open your computer and look for the class that suits you. Look for the instructor who suits you, and you’ll definitely find her. There’s so much variety: with music, without music, loud music,

07:38 Speaker 2 meditations. There’s so much out there; surely everyone can connect with something.

07:44 Speaker 1 And why is it really important?

07:47 Speaker 2 I’ll go back to the food example, because we can’t do without it. With food, at some point we feel we can’t go without eating. But once a woman tries movement and her body begins to experience release, strength, and flexibility, little by little we simply feel we can’t do without it. That feeling of release—that’s the experience I invite women, girls, and teenagers to come into. I’m giving my body fifty minutes, an hour, or an hour and a half to let go. Maybe it doesn’t happen the first time, and sometimes you need to try it two or three times to get to know the teacher. Maybe the class I happened to attend was relatively hard, or relatively boring. But once I give myself that experience, I really can, in quotation marks, “get hooked” and reach experiences and levels of intensity that... As someone who grew up with this, I’ve become a little used to it. But I’m always amazed when a teenager comes to me, or when I come to lead dancing for a group of girls. For those three days at a retreat or at school, they’ve been sitting in chairs, eating a lot, sleeping a lot. Suddenly, I bring them into this experience. Of course, I build up to it with exercises and a warm-up; I don’t go straight to the peak. But they have that experience. The things they say, the way they look, the hugs they give me, the love and joy on their faces—I can’t really describe it to you in words, but it’s simply amazing. And it happens in the women’s studio too. Women who go to a dance class or an improvisation class—or, of course, a dance class that’s fun, enjoyable, and suited to them—will agree with me. The experience and the intensity they come back with, how they keep in touch with me, talk, laugh, and let go—it’s simply amazing.

09:53 Speaker 2 So that’s the why. Because you can’t do without it, and you can always start. You can always, always start.

10:00 Speaker 3 You could say it’s a basic need that, over the past few decades, with all our so-called progress, we’ve left behind. We sit at computers and on our phones; instead of walking, we drive. Movement used to come very, very naturally to us. Now we have to consciously bring it back into our lives.

10:21 Speaker 2 Absolutely, absolutely. I see it in girls who come to me even as early as first grade. They’ve already been seated at desks and taught how to write and hold a pencil, and I can already see the little hunch beginning to form in their backs. I see girls whose whole shoulder area is weak, and when they’re children we say, “It’s not a big deal.” Later, when they’re teenagers, their mothers start saying, “Sit straight, sit up, pull in your stomach.” Then, when a girl starts looking in the mirror more, or wants to meet boys for shidduchim, it starts bothering her more. And later, baruch Hashem, when she’s carrying a baby or two, she suddenly starts feeling awful. And putting on makeup isn’t the whole answer. Suddenly her body feels heavy; suddenly she wants to—suddenly she isn’t sleeping well. So I think that from the very beginning, we need to make physical activity part of children’s routine and upbringing. And again, there’s a huge range of options. A boy can go swimming once a week; a girl can dance, take a self-defense class, go running with her mother, or ride a bike in a way that suits her. We’re simply doing ourselves a kindness. We’re not giving ourselves some special reward or bonus. It’s a basic need. A lot of women, by the way, come to me with aches and pains and say, “Oh, I have to start exercising.” And I tell them, “Before exercise, work on flexibility. Do some stretches. If you sit in a chair a lot”—and that’s fine, if there are women listening to us while sitting down—“while you listen to me, move your shoulders a little right where you are, move your back a little, roll your back.” You don’t have to pay three hundred shekels for a membership every time, buy the right equipment and the

12:11 Speaker 2 sneakers. You can start in a chair, in bed, on the floor, on the couch. Flexibility, first of all, helps prevent pain, because if something stays in one position all the time, it starts to stiffen and accumulate all kinds of aches. It simply weakens from disuse. Suddenly there’s pressure on the back, on the vertebrae, on the neck, or on the feet or hands. When the foot is flexible, blood flows through it normally, and suddenly all those tiny muscles and tendons and joints in the foot start moving. The pain starts to shift and ease. Of course, when there’s a serious problem, I always recommend seeking help. There’s excellent physiotherapy available today. Of course you should consult someone, but even a little flexibility and stretching—even if you aren’t flexible and have no plans to do the splits and a cartwheel onstage—are so beneficial and so necessary for our bodies. Something else interesting happens as we get older: our range of motion gets smaller. Say that when you were at your most flexible, you could reach out with your leg to pull something over from the corner, or raise your arm high. Or, those of you listening, try rotating your arms backward while keeping them straight. If you ask an eight-year-old girl to do it, she’ll do it quickly, making big circles. A twenty-year-old woman might make a slightly smaller circle. And when I exercise with a seventy-year-old woman in a class for older adults, her range of motion is much, much smaller. So I say, first of all, let’s preserve our flexibility and range of motion. We want to be able to reach for a bottle of water easily, and if, G-d forbid, we slip, not get injured from that little slip of the foot.

14:11 Speaker 2 When we keep our neck, arms and legs flexible, we have so much more freedom. Maintaining our range of motion helps us avoid, G-d forbid, deterioration and disability. Disability doesn’t always begin, G-d forbid, with an accident or in a single day. Some things happen because we forget, because we neglect ourselves. So I say, “It’s all right, I’ll do it tomorrow, next year, after this birth, after this pregnancy.” There is no “after”—not after the wedding, not “the diet starts tomorrow.” What, after life? Right now you have every right, and you deserve to begin this very moment. Wow. And of course, a healthy mind in a healthy body. It isn’t merely physical; it can change a life. It can bring out my potential. We talk a lot about shlichus. Everyone has their own shlichus in the world, and when my body isn’t functioning well enough, when I can’t realize my full potential, it affects every area of life. Absolutely, absolutely. First of all, I can tell you about myself: every day I thank Hakadosh Boruch Hu for my work. Girls ask me, “Aren’t you exhausted? How can you do it? Where do you find the strength?” There are times when I’m doing choreography as well as my regular classes and leading dancing at events. I think the very act of moving gives us strength. Speaking for myself, I enjoy it. I earn a living, run from one dance event to the next, and put on music because the girls are waiting, because clients are waiting, because the girls are coming to the studio. And yes, sometimes I don’t have the strength to go out. Sometimes I say, “Wow, where am I going to find the strength?” But once you put your feet into your shoes and start moving, taking one step,

16:06 Speaker 2 that first step is the hardest. Getting to the wedding and joining the dance circle is the hard part. After that, you go with the flow and feel the joy. It’s contagious—I catch it too. I tell people, “What do you mean, where does the strength come from?” My big saying is, “Energy brings energy.” Energy brings energy; strength brings strength. After a Shabbos when I rest a lot, I have no energy on Motzaei Shabbos. When I go away to rest, I come back tired. I need a rest after my vacation. I see teenagers on vacation sleeping a great deal, and they have no energy. They don’t even come to evening workouts. Sleep makes you want to sleep more; rest makes you want to rest more. I’m certainly not saying we shouldn’t stop sometimes and give our bodies rest, ease and peace. But in general, I thank Hashem that my work is to bring people joy and to move. That movement is healing for the body, and certainly healing for the soul. Sometimes I arrive with worries or things on my mind—payments I need to make, things that aren’t going so well, something at home I’m dealing with in raising my children—and suddenly I go out and have to put on music and bring joy. I’m not brushing the problem aside, suppressing it, sweeping it under the rug or pretending it doesn’t exist. But for the next hour, I can give myself a chance to bring in some joy, bring in fresh energy and recharge. Then my whole outlook afterward, and the way I deal with things, changes. No one is ignoring anything; we aren’t running away. I mean, if people are running away, they know it. A woman won’t lie to herself. So I say: don’t wait until Shabbos is over, until the wedding is over, until the Yom Tov season is over, because it never ends. But how do you get through the Yom Tov season? How

18:06 Speaker 2 How do you get through the journey to marriage? How do you get through adolescence? Your teenage years? Old age? Your forties? Simply by moving, with joy. Don’t wait until afterward, because that energy and joy, that movement or sport or workout—that’s what gives you peace of mind and calm. It helps you live and cope. I can tell you, there are little girls whose mothers I can spot right away: the mother is pushing her daughter into the studio because she herself wanted to dance, but her daughter doesn’t like it. So here’s a tip for all those mothers: go dance yourselves. You don’t need to send your little girls and live out your dream of being a dancer through them. Some girls may not be dancers but can still love dancing, and sometimes it’s worth waiting until they’re a little older before they start. And if you love dancing, then come dance. Don’t limit yourself. Don’t make it all about how I look, how I’ll look, what people will say about me or what they’ll think of me—the teacher at the studio or anyone else. For example, in my workshops I don’t let anyone who isn’t dancing stay in the studio, because we reach a certain intimacy. Each woman gives of herself, gives her body, gives her... We’re not sitting down or singing in a choir. We’re opening ourselves up through movement, and some women really are quite shy. So we don’t film, and we enter into this experience together. I think it’s worth trying, first of all, at any age, as I said. I see little girls, and there are girls who struggle—and teenage girls and women too—with social difficulties. They struggle with a lack of success at work, in their studies, socially or at home. And from the moment you come to me or you

20:08 Speaker 2 step into a dance or into this class—or wherever you meet me or another dance teacher—I just see so many success stories. A girl or a woman comes in upset, with her brows furrowed, her face tense, irritated, complaining nonstop. Then I stop her for a moment, and she starts to breathe. Or she joins the dancing or a workshop, and something happens. She leaves feeling calm. Maybe at the end of the workshop we did some meditation and relaxation, and she takes that with her afterward. It might be just an hour a week. She didn’t pay for personal training; she joined other women, or came to a retreat and joined another dance session. She carries those dances, or the calm she felt during the meditation at the end, with her. But even the experience of that hour itself—it’s amazing to see a woman suddenly cry. Something is released; something opens up. Girls who hate being touched suddenly come over and ask me for a hug. I often hug the girls at the end of class, with their permission, of course. They come over, and I give them a compliment. They wait for that hug, but it isn’t just that they want a hug from me. Something has happened to their bodies during the class. The body wants it. It opens up, it lets go, and the sky’s the limit.

21:39 Speaker 4 That’s incredible. First of all, the extent of your impact. You go somewhere and lead even a one-time activity, and you have no idea what effect it will have afterward. The girls come into a class or an activity with you and get caught by surprise: they had no idea it would help them let go and open up. They get a taste of it and discover something new. Wow, that’s incredible.

22:01 Speaker 2 I always worry. Sometimes I arrive to lead a dance session—two weeks ago, I think, you saw me at a late-night one—and however much people tell me, “Sara’le, you’re a professional, and you’re good,” there’s always fear beforehand, always apprehension. Of course, I’m in a different place from five years ago, when I would spend four hours preparing a dance session. Today I can prepare one in forty minutes: a playlist, some dances and movements, and adapt things to the group. But I still have those worries. I think when I started that session, they’d had a packed, whirlwind day and a panel about shlichus. And she kept writing to me that it would be later and later. I arrived at midnight and started.

22:45 Speaker 4 Wow.

22:46 Speaker 2 Really. Five or six girls showed up. I always turn to Hakadosh Boruch Hu and say, “Hashem, I’m giving it my all. You brought me here; I’m here for You. Even if one woman, one girl enjoys it, I’ve done my part.” And I started, and as you saw, girls kept coming and coming and coming. They must have messaged one another, and it was incredible. We were still talking and hugging until about one-thirty.

23:13 Speaker 4 Wow.

23:13 Speaker 2 They were so moved. And she said to me, “It’s all right, don’t worry.” The organizer had told me, “It’s all right, we’ll pay you. Don’t worry that there aren’t any girls.” By the end she was stunned. They even brought out ice cream and popsicles for them, and the girls simply wouldn’t leave.

23:25 Speaker 4 They started the day.

23:26 Speaker 2 Exactly—they started the day, started the night. So I think that energy draws people in, and it starts with giving yourself the chance. Thank Hashem for the blessing He gives me, that I’m able to bridge gaps and bring so many women together. This past Sunday I led a dance session in the water in one of the cities. Again, they’d already had an evening program, and there was a lovely bar.

23:52 Speaker 4 Dancing in the water means in a pool?

23:54 Speaker 2 In a pool, yes.

23:55 Speaker 4 Wow.

23:55 Speaker 2 So the women were embarrassed to put on swimsuits or gather together—what would people say? They were all from a fairly close-knit community and really wanted to look nice when they went out. So again—

24:07 Speaker 4 To give up the blowout and makeup and switch into, um—

24:09 Speaker 2 And she said to me, “Listen.” Then she said, “It’s all right.” About five women got in. I said, “Maybe we should wait?” She said, “Start.” By the end of the dance session, once again, they were on an incredible high. The owner of the place came and turned off our music, and we still carried on afterward. They didn’t want to get out of the water. They’d reached a place where they could let go and feel close to one another. Just like that, all those things we tell ourselves—even about why we shouldn’t go out for a walk—fell away. And I’m telling you, even though this is what I do for a living, I understand those women so well. I identify with that feeling of not having the energy to get up and go out. It’s very, very hard.

24:48 Speaker 4 And it’s not hard for no reason, by the way. The yetzer hara knows how good it is for us, how much good it will do us and how it will help us add goodness to the world. And it says, “No, I don’t want to let her do that. I’ll use every argument I can to convince her to stay home.”

25:01 Speaker 2 There are all the reasons not to go out. Every reason. I identify so much... If you think you have reasons, I, Sara’le, have ten times as many.

25:12 Speaker 4 Right. Everyone thinks she has the best excuse.

25:14 Speaker 2 I’m hungry; look at the house. And what about the guilt? Look at the kids. And I wasn’t there—wow. And I didn’t answer the phone, and I feel terrible, and I didn’t daven. Maybe from now on I’ll give that time to the house. All the most sophisticated excuses: my body, my emotional state, the house, things outside, making a living. I don’t have money, I do have money, I didn’t sleep. But it’s nonsense. You’re not really going to sleep for another hour. You’ll be on your phone, or you’ll give—give a little more of yourself to the whole world. And that ability to get up—I say, go out for five minutes. Exercise doesn’t have to mean an hour’s drive to the gym, 300 shekels for clothes, 200 shekels for a personal trainer, and another 50 shekels for gas. It doesn’t have to be so complicated. Dancing doesn’t have to mean a dance event in Eilat or on the walls of Jerusalem, with dance clothes, after I’ve earned a degree and become a professional. No. It can be so simple. Close the door. Put on headphones if you don’t want your husband and kids, or your friends or roommates, to know you’re dancing. Or play music and get the others moving too. And start moving. You’re cooking for Shabbos. You didn’t manage to go for a walk yesterday, on Thursday. So dance while you cook or while you do the laundry. Dance in front of the mirror; dance in between things. Lie on your back and do one exercise. One exercise. Not, “Now I have to open YouTube and download videos and figure out how to do it,” and it’s all overwhelming. Suddenly I have to be a professional, and I don’t know which exercises to do. Everyone knows an exercise or two. Raise your arms up and down ten times—any child can do that. Jump rope with your daughter, or jump on a trampoline. Or the moment you get to the playground with them, stop bringing food and apples and fruit and vegetables and clementines and wafers. Come empty-handed and climb with them. Run with them, watch them,

27:15 Speaker 2 walk with your daughter and talk while you’re at the playground. You’ve come to the beach, you’ve come to the pool. You don’t need to lug along so many sandwiches and schnitzels. Go into the sea; get into the pool. Usually we mothers watch the belongings, look at our child from the sidelines, and really enjoy seeing them swim and swim. But what about us? What about me? Don’t I deserve to feel the water? To pause for a moment, find someone to watch my little one, and swim for a moment? To breathe for a moment? To take a few breaths for myself? And by the way, that’s something I’ve really gotten into in recent years: meditation, relaxation, circular breathing therapy. For me personally, too, it really helped me connect and reach an awareness of being connected to myself and to Hakadosh Boruch Hu. I even bring it into my classes with the girls, and mothers tell me, “What did you do with them today? She came home so, so happy, and she said something about breathing.” Sometimes, especially after a really powerful class, I have all the girls lie on the floor. I put on meditation music and breathe with them, and they look forward to it. I thought the girls would laugh and say, “What? No way!” But they ask for it. “Saraleh, do that thing again where we lie down and breathe.”

28:38 Speaker 5 The body already knows those feelings.

28:40 Speaker 2 Yes. So if someone is injured, or pregnant, or really in a situation where she can’t exercise, there’s exercise for the soul: breathing. Not drifting off to sleep, not falling asleep, but taking a moment to be mindful of positive statements. Even if it sounds really strange, like, “Oh no, am I becoming one of those people who says these things?” Yes. You deserve a moment to create statements of gratitude, statements of abundance, statements about being worthy. I do this with a group of teenage girls I meet with. We always end our meetings by going around and saying, “I am worthy,” and each girl simply says things like: “I am worthy of abundance. I am worthy of success. I am worthy of earning a living. I am worthy of my mother loving me. I am worthy of my father speaking to me respectfully. I am worthy of exercising one more time each week. I am worthy of eating healthy food.” We’re simply worthy of it. Because it’s so easy for us to give that to someone else or to a friend—to serve her the healthy meal and the salad. But for ourselves, we’ll grab a boureka at the grocery store during the weekly shop, or another cup of coffee, or some snack. And we’re simply worthy of better.

29:57 Speaker 5 Wow. It’s simply about moving this right to the top of the list of priorities and knowing how important it is. Not waiting for the inspiration to come, but remembering that this belongs among the most important things I invest in.

30:10 Speaker 2 Absolutely. Absolutely.

30:12 Speaker 5 Wow. Listen, anyone hearing you who’s never done this, never gotten moving or anything—you’ve given her hope. I’m sure that even starting to move one small step, that in itself releases hormones that...

30:28 Speaker 2 It really does. It’s freeing. During the coronavirus period, a mother and daughter came to me who had a lot, a lot of clashes. During that time, we all felt the challenges at home, because everything was intensified. This mother came with her daughter. She was willing to invest the money—not instead of, I think, but in addition to getting the tools she needed. And the experience, and the chakras or hormones or whatever we call what was released here during a workout, and the laughter—they reached moments of laughter that I couldn’t stop, and moments of looking at each other. I gave them exercises to build connection: holding hands, trusting each other, leaning on each other. So sometimes, at home, I take an exercise and say, “Okay, now I’ll do an exercise with my daughter where I trust her and she trusts me.” Sometimes that happens through movement, whether with your spouse or your neighbor. I’m having a hard time with her; I don’t know, I’m struggling. So instead of doing inner work—wait, the next time I see her, I’ll bring her a cake, I’ll make something for her, I’ll invite her over, I’ll open my home to her—go out for a walk with her. As you walk, things come out; things are released. That mother and daughter—the mother simply said to me, “Saraleh, you saved me. You saved me. The exercises you did here, and the ones you gave us to do at home, the things that happened here in the studio during the workout...” I think that through movement, my shlichus is sometimes even greater, because I’m not a Rebbetzin or a teacher or an official therapist. I don’t claim to be a professional therapist, and I certainly don’t come to... When women or girls come to me with emotional pain, I always refer them for professional treatment. And there are many girls who feel comfortable

32:21 Speaker 2 sharing things with me. So I know how to listen. I know how to give a hug, but I also know how to refer them to a professional so they can get help. Through the body and through movement, I think my impact on them is even more powerful, and I approach that with great care.

32:41 Speaker 6 Responsibility.

32:42 Speaker 2 With responsibility, yes. With many things, I simply know that people are watching me. So the way I live, what I post on social media, the way I dress, the way I speak—the girls take a lot from that. They see how I dress in the studio, how I change into a dance skirt, how I speak. I teach girls who come to me for dance; some of them are very cheeky, with little respect for their own bodies or for me. And I guide and educate them through the body. Last week I brought 70 girls onstage at a N’shei Chabad conference. The mothers and the production team were stunned by how the girls waited in perfect silence offstage and away from the audience. Some of them had to enter through the audience, and they told me, “You can’t do that. They’ll talk, they’ll shout, they’ll run off.” The audience came in, and the girls stood in perfect silence, respecting each other’s space. How to speak, how to behave—I think they gained so much during those two weeks of rehearsals. Mothers tell me, “At home, I see her more composed. I see her calmer; she has fewer outbursts.” Because I didn’t just sit in a classroom and give her tips in a circle on how to speak properly. She experienced it physically, together with the high level of discipline I demand and the great love I give. So, so, so much love that I give the girls.

34:23 Speaker 6 That’s beautiful. You say it isn’t therapy, it isn’t therapy—but in the end, it is therapeutic. It isn’t a professional saying, “Come to me for treatment.” But there’s no denying it. Listen, anyone who’s ever moved beyond what she’s used to feels it right away, and it affects her.

34:42 Speaker 2 Completely.

34:43 Speaker 6 How do you fit nutrition into all this? Is that something you also... or do you just eat wafers and come dance?

34:50 Speaker 2 I’ll say it’s always hard.

34:53 Speaker 6 No, that’s a whole field in its own right.

34:54 Speaker 2 Right, right. I also have workshops. Not that we’re trying to advertise here, but I really do run workshops. Mainly during the Nine Days, I do juice and smoothie workshops. I combine that with movement. It’s a really wonderful workshop: you move, dance a little, and taste things too.

35:16 Speaker 6 All the senses.

35:17 Speaker 2 Yes. Look, nutrition is also a kind of foundation. When I don’t have time and I’m on my way to lead a dance event, living on a cup of coffee and a boureka, I lose my voice very quickly, for one thing. And second, it just isn’t sustainable. Around Chanukah, during a stretch of dance events, I became so hoarse I couldn’t speak. I just couldn’t speak. I got home and didn’t talk at all. It’s terribly exhausting. People who don’t eat healthily can tell you about feeling drained emotionally, and you get into this cycle you don’t know how to break out of. You feel so awful about yourself. So you fast for a few hours or stop eating, and then, to make yourself feel better, you eat unhealthy food again. Then you feel terrible, and out of self-hatred you eat unhealthy food again. Another piece of cake, more pasta, more coffee.

36:22 Speaker 6 A vicious cycle.

36:22 Speaker 2 It’s just an endless cycle. Then I met a friend from Jerusalem who introduced me to healthy eating. I’d always known about it and liked it, but once I made it something fundamental, I understood that otherwise I would simply collapse. The stomachaches, the joint pain, my voice, my singing—everything was affected, even though exercise was part of my life. I’ve been moving since I was tiny. Still, the exhaustion builds up. Once I started my day with fruit—lots of fruit—and healthy smoothies... I offered you one earlier. I’d love to—

37:08 Speaker 6 Yes.

37:08 Speaker 2 —treat you to one afterward. With lots and lots of greens. To stop piling on the oil, salt, and sugar. You just can’t do without proper nutrition. A woman shouldn’t have to reach the point of joint pain, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, collapsing, not sleeping, or sleeping too much. The answer is there in nature, without pills, without antibiotics. I’m telling you about myself. I suffered from exhaustion, stomachaches, and hoarseness, and I was sure it was because of the dance events. I raise my voice; I use my voice. I ordered all kinds of products for my throat. I spoke to singers, and they were already recommending injections, steroids, all kinds of expensive drops. I stopped all of it. I’ve now come through two months of activities, performances, classes, and dance events. I did have a big dance event yesterday, so I am a little hoarse, but I’m alive, I’m talking, I’m singing, I’m breathing—thanks to nutrition. And again, I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard for people because we’re used to ptitim, pasta, coffee, and cake. We’re used to Shabbos having four kinds of eggplant dishes with sweet potato. We’re used to women’s gatherings meaning ravioli with—

38:38 Speaker 6 Absolutely. That’s exactly it.

38:39 Speaker 2 We’ve just gotten used to a family gathering needing four trays of sushi, all kinds of things. And you can do it differently. You can sit at the beach or at a women’s gathering with half a watermelon. I can sit down with a whole quarter of a watermelon. Not a mountain of pasta, loads of chicken, and then one bite of salad that I’ve also loaded up with silan, sugar, and lots of oil.

39:06 Speaker 6 I’ve ruined it.

39:07 Speaker 2 I mean, what’s left of it? So the combinations really matter, first of all. I think the combinations—and separating the carbohydrates, the salad, the starches, and the dough-based foods—help so, so much. It helps digestion. You’ll feel it; I simply feel lighter. I’m not fasting, okay? It’s not that I’m not living, or that I live only on water and greens. Personally, I also like them, and I say you can always try. You can start with a fruit smoothie, lots and lots of fruit, and add a few greens. Mint, lettuce. What, lettuce is only for salad? Lettuce isn’t only for salad. Carrots aren’t only for soup, where you throw one in and—

39:50 Speaker 6 Blend it up with the oil.

39:51 Speaker 2 —loads of soup powder and salt, and you’ve already ruined it. Just start adding those things, and then gradually reduce the amount of fruit in the smoothie a little and add some cucumber, add some greens. It’s an acquired taste, just as we were told sushi was delicious. Some people don’t like it, and suddenly they start to like sushi—or some new pastry that comes into fashion. It’s an acquired taste, and the benefit, the advantages: my skin is smoother. I need less sleep. My sleep is more regular. My stomachaches have practically disappeared. So it’s worth it.

40:33 Speaker 7 What you eat is what you are. In the end, that’s what you’re made of. Just as we’re so careful about kashrus.

40:37 Speaker 2 Absolutely, absolutely. But I think that if people tell me it’s all or nothing, that isn’t true. Just like we were talking earlier about dancing and exercise, the same goes for nutrition. It’s okay if you had a dairy-heavy breakfast or a disastrous Shabbos. Feeling bad about it is the key to the next failure. That self-flagellation, that guilt—we’re addicted to it. It really is an addiction. It’s what makes us feel as though we’re doing something good. And feeling bad is also what pushes me not to do anything. Why not start buying more vegetables or more fruit? Why not drink water? So first, recognize that feeling and understand that it’s practically avodah zarah. It’s an addiction in every sense, just an addiction. Just as some people can’t do without drugs or sugar, some people can’t do without guilt, without feeling like a victim. Understand that it’s really the yetzer hara. It’s the three utterly impure kelipos. Let it go. And if you slipped up, find a balance. Just find a balance. If you haven’t slept much, you catch up until you’ve had eight hours. Or if you haven’t drunk anything all day, you drink a bit more. So if you slipped up, it doesn’t have to be, “Okay, starting tomorrow I’m organic and vegan, soaking and sprouting everything.” You don’t have to do it all.

42:10 Speaker 7 Unless a friend has a birthday, and then I’ll put all that off for another day...

42:14 Speaker 2 You can put it off, but on a difficult day you can—

42:16 Speaker 7 It’s not really, uh, it’s not really about calculating it like that.

42:18 Speaker 2 Right, absolutely. But if you slipped up, you can balance it out. If you slipped up a little in the morning, balance it out at lunch. Put a little more thought into dinner, or make dinner a bit smaller. If you slipped up in the evening, or ate a lot at a wedding, then go for a walk the next morning, drink lots of water, have a detox day. Balance doesn’t mean all or nothing. If things didn’t go as planned and you feel you gained a lot of weight over the holidays, balance it with a little more walking, a little more dancing, a little more exercise. It isn’t all or nothing. I believe very strongly in balance.

42:52 Speaker 7 The psychological setback we have after something like that is actually much more destructive than the original slip-up. Something small happened: we slipped, ate a bit, celebrated. And then what it does to our minds—the self-flagellation and all of that—is far more destructive than what happened in the first place.

43:13 Speaker 2 Completely. I think that our emotional state is the foundation for all the growth we want to achieve. As a coach and a dance teacher, being able to recognize what’s going on inside me—anger, forgiveness, releasing something internally, in all my relationships—has opened the way for me to cope and succeed in dance and in business too. So I think we need to make room for that: to recognize what we’re feeling, embrace and accept ourselves, listen to ourselves and listen to a friend. Today, many women come to me, and they don’t so much need therapy as someone to stop and listen. You were at a gathering, you met someone, you went to a dance class, you finished leading a dance session. We meet people all the time, including our children. We tend to move straight into doing, into action, into finding a solution. “Sweetheart, what do you need? So what should I do? What do you want?” We don’t always want anything. We just need someone to be present. And I think that’s one of my secrets to managing so much. People ask me, “How do you do it?” And I don’t post everything. I do a lot more besides. I also go dancing for myself. I dance in a troupe, and I take time for myself, for my soul. I go for walks. I rest. I’m a mother, and that’s my first role and the one I love more than anything. I think it comes down to focus and inner calm. When I’m here with you now, with Chani, I’m with you. And in the afternoon, before I go out in the evening, I have plenty of time to be present. I could run an entire vacation amid shouting and distraction, and no one would understand what was going on. But when I walk into the studio with a group of high-school girls, I’m with them. I’m with them heart and soul; I’m focused on them. I correct them, and I give them space. And after that hour,

45:29 Speaker 2 if I’m going to a workshop, of course I’ve prepared it in advance. I focus and I’m present. And when I leave, I can stop by the sea and focus on my breathing, or enjoy some quality time with myself. Today I can be alone with myself. I don’t need noise around me all the time. When I visit my parents to fulfill the mitzvah of honoring them, I’m not on my phone or absorbed in myself. I’m focused on them. When I come to a workshop, I’m focused. When I come to lead a dance session, I’m there. And when I’m home with the children, I try to be there too. Of course, motherhood is dynamic. There are times when I’m at home but busy with other things. But I think focus and peace of mind can let us get so much done, while sometimes, when there’s a lot of inner noise, we can’t get anything done—not even one load of laundry. And I can tell you that as a woman who works and is on the go a lot, when I’m focused, I can put on three loads of laundry and cook two meals a day. Of course, sometimes I get help. I’m not G-d, and I know how to ask for help. That’s something I didn’t know how to do in the past. It was always me, me, me. Today I know how to ask for help, and when help is offered, I accept it. So I think peace of mind is a gift a woman can give herself.

47:01 Speaker 8 That’s an incredible, life-changing tip. Because some people really do have lots of energy and everything, but in the end you realize you’re living alongside your own life. You’re constantly worrying about the future, constantly planning, constantly... To really live in the moment. Whatever I’m doing, even if I’m sitting now with my three-year-old and listening to what happened to him in preschool, it’s incredible. That’s living.

47:21 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

47:22 Speaker 8 To breathe and to live. Wow! Sarah’le, what gives you the most satisfaction? It sounds like you go from one satisfying moment to the next, but still, is there one thing... Maybe a moment you experienced in your work when you said, “Wow, it was all worth it just for this”?

47:44 Speaker 2 Wow. So many things. So much satisfaction. First of all, arriving to lead a dance session, as I do, and seeing girls who are apprehensive, making faces and not wanting to join the circle. Then, suddenly, an hour and a half has passed, and the satisfaction is seeing girls who are happy—genuinely happy—relaxed, jumping, hugging and connecting. It gives me tremendous satisfaction that I can do that through music, through dance. I also teach dance throughout the year. So I think what gives me satisfaction at the end of the year is seeing a girl who’s gone through a process. A girl who’s afraid of people, afraid of other girls, afraid of being afraid—just afraid. And over the course of the year, from one class to the next, she makes progress. A girl comes in saying such awful things about herself: “I’m no good. I don’t know how. I won’t succeed.” She sits off to the side, and I have to work with her just to get her to join the exercises and be present. Then I bring her to a point where, by the end of the year, she’s arguing with me: “I want to be in front! I want to—I didn’t get a solo!” And then I see her onstage at the end of the year. She looks beautiful in her costume, with her makeup and her hair done. A girl nobody believed in. Her parents signed her up, and maybe she even came to the class partly because her friends were going. But at the end of the year, she’s dancing and knows her part well, and I’ve found the movements that let her look her best. Her mother is sitting in the audience, and her grandmother and sister have come too. She has something to show them and, in quotation marks, “show off.” Mothers come to me crying, and I see them in the audience, glowing with pride. Of course we want chassidishe nachas and Jewish nachas, and a child who helps at home, who’s calm and quiet and doesn’t give us a hard time. That’s lovely. But a girl who goes through

50:01 Speaker 2 a process like that and, at the end of the year, can feel free in front of an audience and succeed—that gives me tremendous satisfaction.

50:10 Speaker 9 Wow, how wonderful. You know, not every professional gets to see the fruits of their work like that, one after another. Sarah’le, one thing to finish with. A tip that will make us remember you forever.

50:24 Speaker 2 Oy, oy, oy. A tip—

50:26 Speaker 9 You’ve given us so many tips.

50:27 Speaker 2 Then I’ll go back to the beginning, to something I think lifts me up: giving strength gives you strength. Energy gives you energy. Try to picture yourselves coming home after an event or a party—what kind of energy did you bring home? Or after a gathering that you led, volunteered at or organized. You may have come home a little tired, okay, but you had energy. So that’s what I wish for myself: that I’ll have lots of energy, and that Hashem will continue to channel joy, love and dance through me, and give me abundant strength. So that’s my tip. First of all, it’s never too late to start right now. Right now, wherever you’re standing or sitting. Move your shoulders, move your back, choose the song, or the teacher, or the coach who makes you feel good. And may you have lots and lots of strength and joy.

51:33 Speaker 9 And what did you say? You’re worthy. Every single woman is so, so worthy of that.

51:37 Speaker 2 I’m absolutely worthy.

51:39 Speaker 9 Wow. I’m sure everyone has drawn so much strength from you. Sarah’le, thank you so, so much.

51:42 Speaker 2 Thank you, Chani. Thank you.

51:44 Speaker 9 Goodbye.