Educating Children in Torah Study - Rabbi Yosef Avraham Pizem shlita

00:02 Speaker 1 You’re listening to “Lema’an Yishme’u,” a podcast from Machon Halacha Chabad.

00:09 Speaker 2 Torah study. Although a minor is exempt from all the mitzvos, and even his father’s obligation to train him in mitzvos is not from the Torah but from the Sages, there is one mitzvah that is different: Torah study. It is a positive Torah commandment for a father to teach his young son Torah, even though the child himself is not obligated. As it says, “And you shall teach them to your children, to speak of them.” So we adults are commanded to teach our young children. The child is not obligated, but we are commanded to train and teach him. But what do we teach him, and when does the obligation begin? This is what it says in the laws of Torah study: When is a father obligated to teach his son Torah? As soon as he begins to speak, he teaches him “The Torah that Moshe commanded us,” and the rest of the verse, “is the inheritance of the congregation of Yaakov,” and the first verse of Shema Yisroel: “Hear, O Israel, Hashem is our G-d, Hashem is One.” After that, he gradually teaches him verses by heart, one at a time, until he is five years old—that is, in his fifth year. Then he gradually teaches him to read the Written Torah at home, until he is six or seven. Before that, in his fourth year, meaning at age three, he teaches him the letters of the Torah so that he will become accustomed to reading the Torah in his fifth year. So throughout this time, they work on the alef-beis, combining letters, and on letters and words, so that by age six or seven he can actually read words of Torah, say the words of the Torah, and study and understand it. In the words of the Alter Rebbe, when he is six or seven full years old, it all depends on his health and ability. As the laws concerning a teacher of young children say, he teaches the child to read Torah, even all day long, according to the child’s ability. Another point from the laws of Torah study: A father does not need to hire a teacher to teach his son the entire Oral Torah. Rather, the teacher should teach him to understand the Talmud well in most places, including difficult laws and sugyos, together with most of the early and later halachic authorities, and set his son on

02:58 Speaker 2 the path of analyzing halacha in practice, so that the child, now a young man, can study on his own—to study, understand, and decide any practical halacha through analysis of the Talmud and the early and later authorities. The teacher, or teachers, teach him month after month, year after year, and then the son can study on his own. They give him the tools to study the entire Talmud and the halachic authorities, and then he will know how. They did not have to teach him the entire Talmud and all the authorities. They teach him through examples, teach him sugyos and particular chapters, and once he has studied those, he will be able to study independently. He will become familiar with the methods of study and will study the Talmud and the authorities on his own, until he knows all the laws of the Oral Torah—which are, in essence, the explanation of the 613 mitzvos, their details, reasons, and sources—as though his teacher had taught them to him. The same applies to all of Tanach and the teachings of the Aggadah. We need to teach him the method and give him examples; our children and students will complete their knowledge using the tools we have been privileged to give them. The Alter Rebbe also says in the laws of Torah study: Nowadays it is not customary to teach a child all of Tanach as they did in earlier times, but only the Torah itself, the Chumash, because we rely on him to study the rest on his own when he grows older. In their days, by contrast, the vowel points and cantillation marks were not written down but were transmitted orally, so they made an effort to teach the children all of Tanach. Nevertheless, one must teach one’s son or student—our children, our students—and review with him. Teach him, and review with him many times all the sections of the Torah that contain the mitzvos and laws explained by the Talmud, and the verses, words, and letters that the Talmud regularly expounds. I feel that—I remember that in the older books, let’s say from ten, twenty, thirty, forty years ago and further back, they would teach the weekly parsha. First of all, besides an overview of the parsha’s topics, what mitzvos are in the parsha? The connection between

05:40 Speaker 2 the parsha and the haftorah, and a sicha of the Rebbe, the Rebbe’s Torah teachings. Very important. We see here that the Alter Rebbe is essentially saying that the whole Tanach is brought in. So one should review with him, many times, all the sections of the Torah in which the mitzvos and laws are written. That means the child should know which mitzvos are in the parsha. What about the mitzvos? That matters. That seems to be the precise point of the Alter Rebbe’s words in the laws of Torah study, and it is good to be particular about it. All right. But if the son does not reach the point where he can study and understand on his own, without a teacher, all the laws of the Oral Torah and their reasons, or if he does not wish to study on his own, the father must hire a teacher to educate him and teach him thoroughly the entire Written and Oral Torah. The teacher must also review it with him many times, until, at least once, he remembers and knows all the laws of the Oral Torah and their reasons. For compelling a son to study and know the entire Torah is also included in the positive commandment, “And you shall teach them to your children.” After all, the verse is speaking about young children, who need to be compelled. Now, what will people say to me? Perhaps there were times when that approach helped. Compelling by force, compelling through pressure. Today that is... not so effective; it can even do the opposite. Today, compulsion can take a positive form. Influence him, uplift him, make him eager, give him prizes, give him certificates of excellence, give him treats, give him challenges, make him a mashpia, make him a kind of teacher or examiner. That is how we will engage him. We will give students a desire to study Torah and enjoyment in studying Torah. We will teach them in an engaging way, make things tangible, bring them things they can see with their own eyes—whether it is an educational video about the Talmud or demonstrations and performances. That is how to compel them. How do you compel him so that he cannot bring himself to say, “I don’t want something so

07:56 Speaker 2 much fun”? So instead of forcing him, it needs to be—ah—instead of “forcing,” make it “fun”: make it enjoyable for him, so that studying Torah is fun. That is persuasion through words, positive compulsion. As it says about the Giving of the Torah: “He held the mountain over them like a barrel.” What does that mean? “If you accept the Torah, good; and if not, there will be your burial place.” What does Chassidus say? He held over them a mountain of great love. Hakadosh Boruch Hu revealed so much love to them that when the Jewish people fell in love with Hakadosh Boruch Hu, they could not tell Him, “We don’t want the Torah.” We need to try that kind of compulsion with our students and our children. Think about what approach they will love; ask them, “What would make this interesting for you?” and do everything possible so that these things will be well received by them. For “I have given you a good teaching; do not forsake My Torah.” “Come, children, listen to me”—even when they leave the Torah school, the “listen to me” stays with them, because it was all done with love. It was all done in a way that made learning and reviewing pleasant, with challenges and interesting assignments. And the teacher—fine, he is always pushing. The student would like to study for only ten minutes; now he will study for fifteen. That is pressure too, but that is what is meant, not something else. Okay, another halacha in the laws of Torah study: After he has once learned all the laws and their reasons, he then reviews them and forgets them. Why does he forget? Because he does not want to review his studies on his own. His father taught him, his teacher taught him, but his father tells him, “Young fellow, if you don’t review, you’ll forget.” There is an approach from the Vilna Gaon: review everything four times. Review it. If the father has already taught him and the child does not want to review, the father has fulfilled his obligation. For since they taught him thoroughly

10:18 Speaker 2 Once the child knows the entire Torah, the father has fulfilled the positive mitzvah of “You shall teach them to your children.” Nevertheless, as long as the son is able to study Torah and does not do so, and he still has a little respect for his dad, the father can compel and influence him. He is obligated, by the words of the Prophets, to compel him to study Torah and to guide him in proper conduct and fear of Heaven in all his ways and behavior, while he still has authority over his son. That is, until he reaches the age of twenty-four, the father needs to influence his child. As it says, “Educate a child according to his way”—the path he will follow all his life. Educate him in his youth, meaning from age sixteen to twenty-four. Before sixteen, he does not yet have the maturity to accept so much rebuke. He is still rather impulsive; it will only put pressure on him. Ah, at sixteen he is already beginning to mature, beginning to wrestle with things. So we need to give him some direction, some signals, some sparks of inspiration—how good it is to be a Jew. And don’t burden him with harsh discipline and rebuke beyond—don’t burden him with harsh discipline and rebuke when he is not ready for it, meaning before age sixteen. After that, you can already talk with him, farbreng with him, and strengthen him. And another wonderful piece of advice from the Rebbe, for all ages: Things aren’t working with Dad or Mom? Arrange for people his own age to speak with him. Do it wisely, wisely. Beyond age twenty-four, there is a problem: you have to be concerned that it will cause resentment. “Dad, I’m a father now too.” That’s it. Up to that point. So no. Therefore, until age twenty-four, the father still needs to make use of the influence he has, so that the child returns to his studies, applies himself, applies himself to Torah, and grows into a person who knows the entire

12:32 Speaker 2 Torah. From then on, he has fulfilled his mitzvah. And then, above all, one needs prayers. By the way, don’t underestimate prayers. There is a well-known custom among chassidim for each person to say the chapter of Tehillim corresponding to their child’s year of life. Say the child is seven: the chapter in Tehillim is chapter eight. It is an institution of the Baal Shem Tov. Presumably the child should say his own chapter, but the parent also says the child’s chapter as a segulah that he should not stray from the right path, especially when you see the child beginning to waver. Say his chapter once, twice, three times, and let it be to his merit. Give tzedakah in his merit. Tzedakah and Tehillim—this is tried and tested, it will help, but it has to be wholehearted. Let’s learn a little about how to establish Torah study. Learning Chumash with Rashi. The study of Chumash from age five mentioned above means learning Chumash with Rashi. But certainly, before then, if children can read, they can learn Chumash from the text itself, according to its plain meaning. “At five, for Scripture” means with Rashi, but before that you can teach a child to read it. It’s important that he read the letters of the holy Torah, and its words and verses. At age five, you can start introducing Rashi at a level suited to him. It doesn’t have to be every Rashi—just a little Rashi. The age for bringing a young child into cheder. His entry into Torah study. May you merit to raise him. We give the blessing, “To Torah, to the chuppah, and to good deeds.” To Torah: entering cheder, entering Torah study. In recent generations, the practice has been not to wait until the child is fully six or seven before placing him with a teacher. No, children are placed with a teacher already at age three. Some do so later, but by age five at the latest. In other words, things have changed for the better. In the past, children began at an older age; today, even at age three. In some places today, a child begins learning the alef-beis at the start of the year with children his own age,

14:52 Speaker 2 even before he turns three. At two and a half, he is in preschool. Why? He has a bit more freedom, he can sit for a little while, and you can sit with him for ten minutes and learn a little. The teacher already begins teaching him a little, and that has value. As for the customs of entering cheder, even if he has already begun learning the alef-beis before age three, the custom is to hold the ceremony of entering cheder on or around his birthday, or together with friends whose birthdays are more or less around the same time. It is done with a large gathering, in honor of the occasion, with joy and gladness. And with Hashem’s help, we will have an opportunity to discuss what the ceremony of bringing a young child into cheder involves. Some people completely separate the ceremony of bringing a child into cheder—with the teacher instilling in him the holiness of the letters—from the time he actually starts going to cheder. Even if he goes to cheder from age three or earlier, they hold the ceremony much later, as do those who have the custom to hold it at age five. Fine; the main thing is that he learn alef-beis. Alef-beis is not a language like English or Portuguese. Alef-beis is the holy tongue. It is Torah. The moment he can learn alef-beis, he can learn Torah. It is Torah. It is already “You shall teach them diligently to your children,” even if he is not yet three. And the ceremony of entering cheder instills fear of Heaven and devotion to Torah in the child: closeness to Torah, a bond of the heart with Torah. So it is an important event. You can do it at the same time, or the learning can begin and the ceremony of entry can take place whenever it takes place, even long after he has started. But both are needed. Don’t dismiss either of them. This is a Jewish custom; don’t dismiss it. Okay, our next topic.

17:00 Speaker 2 Now we’ll discuss Torah study for a daughter. What is the nature of the obligation regarding a daughter’s Torah study, and what responsibility do the father or mother have to see to it that their daughter studies Torah and knows how to study Torah? Well, a woman is not personally obligated in the mitzvah of Torah study, as it says, “You shall teach them”—“You shall teach them to your sons,” excuse me—and it does not say, “You shall teach your daughters.” And just as she is not obligated in the mitzvah of Torah study herself, she is not obligated in the mitzvah of Torah study for her sons, and she is exempt from paying for their tuition. She cannot be compelled to pay tuition, because that is not her obligation—unless she is wealthy. Then we say to her, on the basis of tzedakah: Since you are obligated to give tzedakah, and we could press you to donate for other children in need, and you would donate—then what about your own children? Certainly, the needy members of your household come first. Donate to them. If she helps her son or husband, with her person and her resources, to engage in Torah study, so that he studies Torah thanks to her, she shares in their reward. Her reward is very great, since they fulfill their obligation through her help. If a woman—let’s give an example. It is certainly important for every father to share in the housework, and especially to share the practical burden of the household—but even more importantly, its emotional burden and responsibilities. To bring calm into the home, peace of mind at home, a sense of partnership at home. That is important; it is wonderful. It is shalom bayis, it is a mitzvah. It is true Ahavas Yisroel. Hakadosh Boruch Hu rejoices in it; it hastens the Geulah. But this help from the husband really is important. Yet if a woman finds the opportunities, the ways, and the times to ensure that her husband—it is important that her husband—has less to do with things someone else can do, so that he can study Torah, so that he can teach Torah. And the same applies to the sons. If she takes some of the burden off the children

19:31 Speaker 2 All right, we shouldn’t raise them to be parasites who aren’t allowed to lift a finger. But she can take a little of the responsibility and the work off their shoulders so they can learn Torah for another half hour. Again, everything has to be in proportion. A mother needs to look after her own health, but she should enable someone who is genuinely learning Torah, genuinely devoted to it, to learn. And she gives him encouragement and the desire to learn. Her reward is great, because they are commanded and they do it—but they do it through her help, in her merit. In any case, a woman who learns Torah receives a reward, but not as great a reward as a man, because she is not commanded to do so. A woman who learns Torah is rewarded for it, but she is considered someone who is not commanded and nevertheless does it. When you are commanded to do something, the yetzer hara interferes much more than it does for someone who is not commanded. That is why the reward for someone who is commanded and does it is much greater: the challenges he has to overcome to succeed are greater. But a woman who learns Torah will be rewarded for it, and it also brings a great deal of benefit, as we’ll soon see. Still, the reward is less. And although she is rewarded, the Sages instructed that a person should not teach his daughter Torah, because most women do not direct their minds toward learning Torah in earnest, with the sanctity of Torah, and they turn Torah teachings into idle talk according to their limited understanding. That is how things were in the past. Once you’ve taught her to analyze, let’s say, passages of Torah, to ask why it isn’t otherwise and whether it could have been this way, you’ve taught her to engage in intricate reasoning. That could also lead her to turn Torah teachings into idle talk according to her limited understanding. And if she learned the Oral Torah, it is as though she learned frivolity, because it introduces craftiness into her. It simply makes her crafty. She sees the sophistication of the Gemara, and that introduces craftiness into her

21:38 Speaker 2 dealings with the world. So why do that? Women are naturally decent, straightforward, and so on. Why start teaching them all the twists and turns in things? But then our Rebbe, the Rebbe Melech HaMoshiach, comes and says: True, that is how it was in the past. Women didn’t go to school, women didn’t read newspapers, women weren’t exposed to scientific developments. They weren’t familiar with these subjects. They were homemakers. So everything written here suited those times. But now women go to school. Some earn academic degrees, and if not, they study a profession. They already use their minds in their work. They’re exposed to general education and to views that aren’t always—well, not everything is exactly one hundred percent in keeping with the sanctity of Torah. We would very much like it to be, but we know that things are picked up here and there from what they hear and read. So what does that mean? Today, a woman is ready to learn, to analyze things and delve into them. Therefore, says the Rebbe, today we should tell a woman to learn Gemara too. Which Gemara? She should learn Tractate Shabbos, Tractate Pesachim—tractates relevant to daily life and to kashrus. And there is another subject she should learn, because a woman helps with education at home. Not only that: we see that Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave the mother a power of influence in education that is sometimes much greater than the father’s—with feeling, with all her heart. Men can sometimes be very emotional, but very many men are a little reserved and don’t quite know how to express their feelings. Sometimes a child feels more warmth and affection from his mother than from his father. Not always, but sometimes. So, says the Rebbe, it is very good for a mother to know the Gemara that the children are taught in the Talmud Torah

23:35 Speaker 2 and to learn it herself. Yes, women are educated, so by all means, they can learn Gemara with Schottenstein and Even-Israel, then sit down with the child and help him with his homework. And the advice? Very simple: prepare the Gemara before the child comes home. The mother sits down an hour earlier and learns the page of Gemara, and then the child comes home. If the child senses that his mother already knows it, she can help him with his homework. I know at least one mother—this was in our Talmud Torah many years ago—who taught her son Gemara and prepared him for a yeshiva entrance exam, and he was accepted. Do you hear who prepared him? Who prepared him? His mother. She bought an Even-Israel Gemara, explained the Gemara to him very thoroughly, and he was accepted to a good yeshiva, one of the yeshivos in central Israel. So what’s the problem? That is education. In any event, women are also obligated to learn the halachos they need to know, such as the laws of niddah. You need to know the laws of niddah; they have many details. And immersion—there are many details to know—and salting meat, which also involves a great deal to know. It is practical, of course, but it also involves reasoning and understanding. And the prohibition of yichud, and similar matters. All of these involve reasoning and logic, and you need to know them, and so on. All matters of kashrus; positive mitzvos that are not time-bound; and all the Torah and rabbinic prohibitions that women are commanded to observe. In their days, the sage would give a discourse on common, practical halachos that everyone needed to know, in language that women and unlearned people could understand. Every Shabbos there would be a discourse lasting an hour, two hours, even three, and everyone would come to listen. I believe the Rebbe of [unclear] would speak for three hours every Shabbos, and it was for... it was for women and children, if I remember correctly. And that is what is brought here—the very point

25:37 Speaker 2 that even in their days women were already being taught. The Alter Rebbe brings this in Hilchos Talmud Torah. Because of the needs of our time, says the Rebbe, it is customary and obligatory today to teach girls both the Written Torah and the Oral Torah. As the Rebbe puts it in a yechidus recorded in the book B’tzel Hachochmah, the Rebbe says: Since women and girls will learn these things anyway, and we won’t know where they got the information or from which books, we should learn with them Gemara relevant to the halachos they need in their lives—Gemara relating to Shabbos, blessings, and the like. Here the Rebbe adds Tractate Berachos too. That is why women learn Chassidus. Chassidus is the work of the soul. Women are gifted with feeling and spirituality, and they have an inclination toward spirituality, sometimes much more than men. They are capable of understanding Chassidus at a high level and contemplating G-dly concepts, sometimes much more than men. Therefore women should learn Tanya. It isn’t easy, but they can learn Likkutei Torah, and they can learn the Frierdiker Rebbe’s maamarim from [unclear]. There is no shortage of what to learn in Chassidus. So the more the home is suffused with Torah, chassidic feeling, chassidic knowledge, hiskashrus to the Rebbe, mivtzoim, learning about Geulah and Moshiach, and anticipation of the Geulah and the fulfillment of the Rebbe’s prophecy—“Behold, Moshiach is coming; the time of your redemption has arrived”—the more the entire home will be influenced educationally. But it must not be done under pressure. No pressure, no irritation: patience, order, warmth, a smile. That way, everyone in the home will constantly absorb holiness and purity. “You shall meditate on it day and night.” Torah study should take place day and night in the fullest sense of the phrase—all day and all night. When that isn’t possible, then during the day and also at night. How do we explain that to a child? What should we teach the child? Here we have a precise point that is actually a note of our Rebbe’s: the beginning of education is in the mitzvah of Torah study in general and knowledge of Torah,

28:13 Speaker 2 And after that, education in the mitzvah of “You shall meditate on it day and night” is added as well: one must set aside times for Torah study both by day and by night. What does that mean? Getting a child to invest in Torah study not only during the day, but also at night. Very simple. Teaching him that this has value, that it matters. There is a mitzvah to meditate on Torah by day and also by night. So, much success. Teaching a love of Torah. The Rebbe says in one of his sichos that Jewish women once had a custom—and if only they would continue it today—of putting their young children to sleep with songs whose message was that although raisins and almonds are indeed wonderful, nevertheless, “Torah iz di beste sechora”: Torah is the best merchandise. So this message is conveyed indirectly, as it were, but it becomes engraved in the child’s soul as he is put to sleep. What lullaby is he falling asleep to? That Torah is di beste sechora. Torah is the best merchandise. That is how we need to educate our children. Not just tell them, not just explain it to them, but sing it to them too, so that it accompanies every part of their lives—the framework of their lives, their outward lives and their inner lives. Here the Rebbe adds a higher level. It sounds very, very lofty, but the Rebbe says it: teaching children to love Torah should bring them to the point of self-sacrifice for Torah. We need to educate children toward self-sacrifice for Torah. I picture our students today. Yes, they really are serious, and they really do love learning Torah. And they are capable of reaching a level of self-sacrifice for Torah. But we know the approach we use with them: so many treats, so many prizes. They have grown used to an education based on making things pleasant. Now, all of a sudden, we need to teach them that there is such a thing as self-sacrifice. I don’t know if this example quite fits, but sometimes the air conditioner breaks down and the children

31:23 Speaker 2 are a little uncomfortable, and then they say, “You can’t learn like this at all.” I’m not talking now about a situation where it really is impossible to learn. It’s a bit of pampering and a matter of what they’re used to; the situation isn’t all that terrible. So I find myself telling them, “Children, Heaven has given us an opportunity. Where do we have a chance today for self-sacrifice for Torah, for Torah study? Is anyone stopping us from coming to cheder? Everything is good for us. At last, Heaven has given us the chance to study for half an hour or an hour in conditions that aren’t the most enjoyable. They’re reasonable conditions, good conditions—just not enjoyable ones. So if we nevertheless make an effort to overcome it, it’s a challenge, but we’ll overcome it, and then we’ll have a small taste of something that perhaps today we can call a kind of self-sacrifice. After all, those in the generation before us, our elders, studied with self-sacrifice in Russia. Think of the hardships they went through. And us? When will we have even a little chance for self-sacrifice? So if we’re given that opportunity...” The Rebbe says that we need to teach a child that we study not only because it’s fun, and not only because it’s pleasant. There is also the concept of self-sacrifice for Torah. The Rebbe brings the story of the Tzemach Tzedek. When he was a child, the Alter Rebbe did not allow him to come hear the maamarim of Chassidus meant for adults. He was a young child, and the Alter Rebbe did not let him in to hear Chassidus so that he would feel how precious it was, long for it and yearn to learn it. One day, the young Tzemach Tzedek climbed into the furnace. The furnace was set into a wall separating the room where the Alter Rebbe would deliver maamarim of Chassidus to those close to him from the rest of the house. The fire was fed from inside that wall, and the Tzemach Tzedek hid there and listened to the words of Chassidus. But what happened? The non-Jewish servant came

34:08 Speaker 2 there and tried to put in more wood so the furnace would be well heated. Suddenly, they noticed the pieces of wood flying back out. The servant probably thought it was the work of demons, but the Jews were quick to understand what was happening, and they immediately pulled the Tzemach Tzedek out of there. He had become terribly overheated, and it took miracles for him to recover. So the Rebbetzin, the Tzemach Tzedek’s grandmother, said to the Alter Rebbe, “Does he want to hear Chassidus that badly? Let him hear Chassidus! What is this? You’ve brought him to the point where he takes such a risk and climbs into a furnace to listen to Chassidus from there?” The Alter Rebbe told her—I’ll read it—that “Torah is acquired through self-sacrifice.” And the Rebbe said this; it appears in Shaarei Chinuch, page 80, from Sichos Kodesh 5726, page 50. The Rebbe, the King Moshiach, says about this: “This conduct is not something exceptional, belonging only to select individuals like the Tzemach Tzedek. Rather, this is the way of Torah. If we want to educate Jewish children to live Jewish lives according to the Torah, we do so by teaching them at the age of seven or eight, as in the story of the Tzemach Tzedek, to have self-sacrifice in order to increase their Torah study. The point is not that, as a result, he will later become the leading Torah scholar of his generation, and so on. Rather, whether he grows up to be a Jew who lives according to the Torah, or, G-d forbid, the opposite, depends on this.” He should have fear of Heaven and the dedication to be meticulous about Torah, about every single custom, and to care about every detail of halachah and every detail of custom. That is what we need to educate children toward self-sacrifice for. So this, too, is an important secret of education. And may we succeed in doing it in a way the students can accept. Learning with enthusiasm and interest. The beginning

36:47 Speaker 2 of a child’s education should be such that when he learns a Torah concept, he engages with it passionately and has a strong desire to understand it. If he sees something he doesn’t understand, he won’t say, “Okay, let’s move on to the next subject.” Instead, he’ll look for the answer, ask questions, delve into it and keep searching. In other words, he should care about what he’s learning. It’s not a matter of saying, “Let’s pick up a few facts here and move on.” Rather, he should really work at it and reach a complete understanding of everything being taught. That is how we need to teach a child to learn: ask, investigate, think it through again. Kissing sacred books. In the book Lev Tov, chapter 9, it says that even before a child begins to speak, one should teach him to kiss books, and then he will become accustomed to treating them with respect. I wanted to tell you something about this. I had a student who, when he was a child, came and asked me, “Principal, when I see a sacred book, I have to kiss it. I go into the beis midrash and see sacred books; I pass by one, go over, kiss it and then carry on. I feel as if I really have no choice. I can’t even pull myself away from a sacred book unless I give it a kiss. And I’ve started to feel a little anxious about this need I have to kiss sacred books. I have to.” I thought about it, and honestly, at first I was a little alarmed. It sounded to me like a hint of compulsive behavior. I consulted an educational psychologist about it. We suspected that might be the case, but we weren’t sure. We kept an eye on it, until I read the writings of the Frierdiker Rebbe. I read in the Frierdiker Rebbe’s writings that there was a Jew known as “the kisser.” This Jew was always kissing siddurim and sacred books. Exactly the same description

40:00 Speaker 2 Everyone in that village or town called him Rabbi So-and-so the Kisser. He had a great love for holy books, and people saw the love with which he kissed every holy book that came near him. From that, I understood that this was a kind of lofty soul: the moment this child sensed the holiness in a holy book, he kissed it. And that child grew up to become a mashpia in Tomchei Temimim. It really did come from holiness. So there you have it: teach children to kiss holy books. You see? It only did good. The holiness of the letters and vowel points. Oh! This is so important too. There are two approaches to how we go about this... We Israelis who live in Eretz Yisroel and study Hebrew—how do we approach the language? Learning the alef-beis? Learning to read? Reading Hebrew texts, or texts from the Torah, from Chumash? Right? How should we think about it? One possibility is the way the world might think: it’s a language. Our language is Hebrew, and... we study Chumash in Hebrew. We learn Hebrew through one kind of sentence or another, like any language. There’s English, there’s French, and there’s Hebrew. That is not the Torah’s way. We learn with an awareness of the holiness of the letters and vowel points. We are learning the holy tongue. When we learn alef-beis, that is Torah; it is not learning to read. Forgive me, teachers, forgive me. It is not learning to read—we are learning Torah. “The Torah of Hashem is perfect.” Yes, knowing the alef-beis is “the Torah of Hashem is perfect.” And then reading verses from Chumash is “the Torah of Hashem is perfect.” Reading verses and passages from the siddur is “the Torah of Hashem is perfect.” That is how we look at it. There is holiness—the holiness of the letters and vowel points—and that is how we must educate children. Not tell a child, “Go learn Hebrew at school,” no matter

42:40 Speaker 2 what school it is, as though he is learning a language. Heaven forbid. We would be robbing him of the holy experience of knowing that it is all holy, all sacred. Chumash, the siddur—there is holiness in them. These letters with their vowel points—komatz alef, ah; komatz beis, bah—that is holiness. That is how we learn. It is the age-old Jewish way. The holiness of the letters and vowel points. The learning should be done with yiras Shamayim, so the child knows that the letters have holiness. And everyone should know that the shapes of the letters, the cantillation marks around them, and the way to read them—all of this was given to us at Sinai, through Moshe Rabbeinu. Then the inner point becomes stronger and more deeply rooted in our children, so that in their hearts they remain faithful to Hashem and His Torah forever. The letters should be learned in alef-beis order, in their regular shapes. Ah, go back and know the letters on their own, without vowel points, and the vowel points on their own, as handed down by tradition: this one is a komatz and this one is a segol. They need to know the names and shapes of the letters, then the names and shapes of the vowel points, and then put them together. All of this is so that the holiness of the letters and the holiness of the vowel points will be engraved in the child, without having to resort to other methods. Other methods are for someone who, after learning this way, is already nearing first grade, or is already in first grade and has not managed to grasp reading, or has certain parts that did not sink in. Then we can try other methods. That is fine. But the fundamental, proper way, which works for a large proportion of children, is the old cheder method: letters, vowel points, and then letters combined with vowel points. The order of the vowel points matters too. We teach them in the order found in siddurim, using their names: komatz, pasach, and so on. Once they have begun learning some of the letters in order, they can already begin learning the vowel points, even

45:50 Speaker 2 if they have not quite finished learning the entire alef-beis. These instructions are from the Rebbe’s Igros Kodesh. The Rebbe adds: There is no objection to the letters being in different colors. They do not have to be black; they can be in colors children find pleasant. But the custom is not to use the Ashuris script of a Torah scroll, rather the regular letters. Learning Torah by heart. Every Jewish boy and girl should make an effort to recite words of Torah from memory. What, for example? Verses, Mishnayos, and the like, so that wherever they are and whatever the circumstances, they can recite Torah even when they do not have a Chumash, Mishnayos, or Gemara at hand. And they should know that this conduct shows they are truly Jewish children, because it demonstrates the difference between them and other children in the world. We are not like all other children. What sets Jewish children apart is that when a Jewish child is somewhere he cannot do anything else—like the story about the Frierdiker Rebbe, the first incident. As a little boy, he was detained at a police station. He sat in the dark and heard a frightening noise. He turned on the light and saw a sheep there. Then he said to himself, “That sheep really is unfortunate, stuck here in the police station in a dark room. What can it do? But I am a Jewish boy. I can study Mishnayos.” And he recited entire orders of Mishnayos. The Frierdiker Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak, as a little boy, recited entire orders of Mishnayos by heart until people came to get him out—and, of course, apologized to him too. But that is the point. There are other things we want our children to be steeped in. They do not stop being children. That is fine; it is normal and healthy. But if they take time that might otherwise be wasted on something that gives them nothing, and devote that

48:35 Speaker 2 time to—okay, Mishnayos by heart. “I’ll review the verses. I’ll get others involved in reciting verses and Mishnayos.” Yes, that is a Jewish child. We need to educate him to be a torch of Chassidic fire, doing these things himself and giving others the opportunity to do them too. Secular studies. Children should be given a proper Jewish education in the pure, holy Torah of Hashem—that is, Torah study alone, not secular studies. They should study only sacred subjects, and there is no need to worry about a child’s profession or livelihood. When we send him to a Talmud Torah, we are not sending him to a career-training course. We are sending him to learn. When it is time to discuss earning a living, that will be, with Hashem’s help, after he gets married. The age for marriage today is between twenty-one and twenty-three. Then he can go and study whatever he wishes, whatever he feels at that point will help him earn a living—whether that means training for a profession, for work in religious service, for managing Chabad Houses, for spiritual, Torah, or educational work in yeshivos and Talmud Torahs, or for any of the other professions that can bring a good income home. At that stage, he can take courses suited to chareidim and complete that training. But let the first twenty years, the first twenty-one years, of the child’s life be spent in pure, holy wisdom—the wisdom of Torah—not in forms of wisdom that are impure. Who said they are impure? The Alter Rebbe writes in Tanya that secular forms of wisdom, which are not Torah, come from impurity. So are we going to argue with the Alter Rebbe? We need to concern ourselves with earning a living when the time comes to do so. At age three, four, fifteen, eighteen, are we worrying about earning a living? When the child is a young man and goes out into the world, he can fill in what he needs to know in a year or two—just as a person can go study medicine for eight or ten years. So what? He will study for a profession that will bring in an income, a good and substantial income,

51:05 Speaker 2 And he will succeed in the various fields according to his abilities. But when does a child even know what he will want to do when he grows up? That rarely happens. A child who devotes his years, his best years, solely to Torah studies will find happiness, both materially and spiritually. When the child is older, this should be done even if it means sending him away to study in a distant place on his own, as long as he is engaged in Torah study. I’ll read from the Rebbe Rashab’s will so we can understand. He writes about the Frierdiker Rebbe as a child: “Until he becomes bar mitzvah, he should not be taught any subjects other than Torah study. On this I issue a most emphatic warning: not to teach him any secular subject before he turns thirteen, and even then, to teach him only enough to read and write, and no more. Take particular care that he not read books—books and secular stories of any kind—whether in Hebrew, if they lead one away from pure faith, or in Russian.” From this, let’s draw the lesson for our own time. What is the halachah? What is required, from the standpoint of Torah, halachah, and education, when teaching a young child who cannot yet understand? In the past, how did people educate children who had not yet reached the age of understanding? What could they do, and how could they have a share in Torah? They would accustom them to saying the holy names of Jews, especially the names of the tribes of Israel, the names of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs, and the names of holy books. If a child cannot repeat words of Torah, and we have not yet managed to instill verses in him because he is still so little, then let’s say with him the names Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon, David, and Shlomo. Names of rabbis, names of books. Let’s make a list. I saw a book someone made with the names of many, many holy books. Yes, why not? So the Rebbe says yes, until the child is able to understand things more naturally and broadly,

53:48 Speaker 2 he can learn all kinds of names of books and all kinds of names of tzaddikim and holy people. That’s also something interesting for us when we’re looking for things to do educationally. Let’s devote a few minutes to it now and then, whether with children in cheder, with our own children, or with our grandchildren or great-grandchildren, whom we should merit to have, with Hashem’s help. Holy things—accustom them to holy things. Another interesting point: a child under bar mitzvah who touches his shoes while studying. Hands, you know, are busy at every age. So a little child sits this way and that way; his hands are here, his hands are there. One may study with a young child who touches his shoes or scratches his head during the lesson. In other words, he starts playing with his hair or scratching himself, and there is no obligation to send him to wash his hands every time. Likewise, the child may recite blessings even after touching his shoes without washing his hands. There are sources for this here, in the name of the Rogatchover Gaon. And another interesting halachah connected with education: hiring a teacher on Shabbos. Although one may not discuss matters related to weekday work on Shabbos, one may discuss matters involving a mitzvah. So one may speak with a teacher about whether he wants to be hired. You can ask him, “Would you like us to hire you to teach me, the father, or my child?” Or even to teach the child a trade, which is also a mitzvah, because if the child has no trade to support himself when he grows up, he may end up robbing people. So yes, one may inquire about it and discuss it in principle. But one may not actually hire the teacher on Shabbos and tell him, “It’s settled. We’ll pay you this much; start working.” Discussing a sum of money is forbidden, because it violates a full-fledged rabbinic restriction. They permitted only discussion of the matter for the sake of a mitzvah: seeing whether it might work, and then saying, “All right, after Shabbos we’ll finalize

56:40 Speaker 2 the arrangements.” Yes, that much they permitted, so that children who need extra help can get the support they need. If it comes through the Talmud Torah, that’s wonderful. If the Talmud Torah cannot provide it—and of course there are limits to what Talmud Torahs can do and what can be placed on communal funds—then the parents themselves should take responsibility. “And you shall teach them diligently to your children”: the mitzvah rests first and foremost on the parents. Different subjects. What is important from the standpoint of the halachos of education? That we make sure our children are educated in them. Grammar. From the Frierdiker Rebbe’s accounts of his childhood: “At that time my father tested me on reading and the meaning of words, and was not satisfied, particularly in matters of grammar, such as where the stress falls, whether on the penultimate or final syllable, and the dagesh and rafeh. My father hired Rabbi Yitzchak Gershon, the chazzan and Torah reader, to teach me for one hour each day: Nevi’im and Kesuvim, grammar, and reading.” In other words, it was important to the Rebbe Rashab that the Frierdiker Rebbe know how to read correctly, including every aspect of pronunciation. We’re not talking now about the grammar of modern Hebrew. We’re talking about the grammar of Lashon Hakodesh, grammar that matters for reading the Torah and for davening. It does not all follow exactly the same grammatical rules as modern Hebrew. The grammar of Lashon Hakodesh, the grammar of Torah reading. That really needs to be taught, and we need to find people who know how to teach it and have them teach our children—in Talmud Torahs, in shuls, and at home. Writing. “The accepted, structured education established by the Alter Rebbe also included individual instruction in the art of writing, and great care was taken over both the quality of the style and the beauty of the handwriting.” This appears in the Frierdiker Rebbe’s Sefer HaToldos, page 123. In other words, it’s very important that children know how to express themselves in proper, correct, attractive writing, with good style, in order to spread

59:43 Speaker 2 Hashem’s word throughout the world. Torah that is clear and lucid. The teachings of Chassidus, clear and illuminating. And to do it in a way that touches the heart, bringing Jews closer to Torah and its mitzvos, and to the deeper meaning of its mitzvos through the inner dimension of the holy Torah.