Shifra and Puah dinner, 5755

00:00 Speaker 1 Well, the doctor said he wanted a natural delivery. He waited a day, then two days, three days, and it wasn’t happening. On the morning of the third day, he said to my aunt, “Listen, this isn’t going to work. I can’t do anything more now.” My mother had developed a fever. “We can’t do a cesarean. I have to remove the baby in pieces so the mother will survive.” My aunt was an eighteen-year-old girl, and she was hearing that they had to remove the baby in pieces. She wasn’t thinking about the baby; she was thinking about her sister—who knew what might happen, whether her sister might die along with the baby. And she was in a strange city, with no idea where to go. She ran to a shul. She stood there by the Aron Kodesh, crying out, “Gevald!” She says a woman came up to her from nowhere and asked, “Why are you crying? Why are you shouting? What happened?” So she told her. The woman said, “Come with me to the Rebbe.” My aunt asked, “Which Rebbe? Where is there a Rebbe here?” She said, “The Lubavitcher Rebbe is here in the city.” So she went with her to the Rebbe. The Rebbe’s secretary at the time was Yechezkel Feigin—surely everyone knows. He heard the story from my aunt, went in to the Rebbe and told him, and the Rebbe gave him a note to give to my mother. I still have that note today. He wrote to my mother, to Mrs. Freida Gisa[?], in Yiddish: “May G-d help you give birth to a living, healthy child, and may everything go as it should.” My aunt went back to the hospital. I’ll translate it for you, all right? He was telling her, “May G-d help you give birth to a baby who is alive and healthy.” Not just healthy—both alive and

02:03 Speaker 1 healthy. And that the delivery should go as it should, that everything should go well and safely. My aunt ran with the... with the letter from the Rebbe. She ran to the hospital. Hours must have passed; it didn’t happen in the few minutes it takes me to tell you. She arrived at the hospital, and the doctor said, “You know, Fräulein Mirkin”—that’s what he called her—“Mrs. Mirkin, the mother is well and the daughter is well.” She said, “What happened here? This morning you told me you were going to cut the baby into pieces, and now you’re telling me everything is fine, that the mother and daughter are both well. What happened? What did you do?” He said, “I don’t know. At the last moment I called in my assistant and said, ‘Let’s have a consultation. Maybe we can do something else.’ And right then, we had the idea of cutting the cervix.” That is, making a cut on either side of the cervix to allow the baby to be delivered. And that’s what they did. My mother needed surgery afterward, but in the meantime they hadn’t cut me up. The Rebbe’s blessings have accompanied me all my life. I went to give birth to my own children with the Rebbe’s blessings. My son also went to the Rebbe to ask for blessings. At one of my meetings with the Rebbe during the dollar distribution, I said, “Rebbe, I have a son with a G-d-given voice, but nobody knows him—only a small circle of religious people. Give me a blessing that the world will hear him, because his voice can do so much to bring religious and secular Jews closer together.” The Rebbe gave me a dollar and said, “Take a dollar for your son, and G-d will help and everything will be all right.” At another dollar distribution I said to him, “Listen,

03:59 Speaker 1 you sent a shliach to Kiryat Tivon. The shliach doesn’t have an apartment. Why doesn’t Chabad help him get settled? Every year he’s running around with two or three children, looking for an apartment. How can that be?” I came to him with a whole list of complaints. So he said, “He’ll have an apartment, with Hashem’s help.” I said, “Give me a blessing for Kiryat Tivon too. You don’t see a Jew there. I’ve been in Tivon since 1960, and you don’t see a Jew there. Give me a blessing to bring more Yiddishkeit to Tivon.” So he said, “Torah will yet come forth from Tivon.” And sure enough, Menashe, our Chabad chossid, bought an apartment and, boruch Hashem, he has a home. He’s my neighbor, and we really help a lot. In fact, I told Menashe that I was Chabad’s first shlucha in Kiryat Tivon. Apparently the Frierdiker Rebbe said it back then. In nineteen... Now my daughter moved to the United States, and from 1981, much to my regret, I began traveling to the United States to see my daughter and the children. The first thing I asked my son-in-law on my first visit was to take me to the Frierdiker Rebbe’s resting place. We went to Montefiore and visited his resting place. Afterward, I went to see the Rebbe. I brought the Rebbe copies of all the blessings I had received, and that my grandmother and my mother had received, and he was very happy to see them. I had photocopied them. He wished me well and said that everything written there should come true. And thank G-d, I have no complaints against Hakadosh Boruch Hu. A few months after I visited the Rebbe, people began talking about staging Les Misérables in Tel Aviv. My son told his agent, “Only a leading role. Otherwise, I won’t take it. No other part in the show is right for me—only a leading role.” Again, they sent a fax to the Rebbe asking for a blessing. And the Rebbe said

05:58 Speaker 1 to check the mezuzos and the tefillin, and he blessed him. He heard that my son was going to perform in Les Misérables. So they checked the tefillin and the mezuzos. Someone had come to the house a few months earlier to check the mezuzos, and he had stolen all of them, leaving the cases empty. So they put in kosher mezuzos and checked the tefillin. Thank G-d, everything was fine. My son really did very well in Les Misérables. I think that was when the world truly began to hear about him. When they began asking him to perform on Broadway in the United States, my son went to the Rebbe again and told him, “I’ve been asked to perform here on Broadway, but on one condition: I won’t desecrate Shabbos. I won’t perform on Friday or Shabbos, only during the rest of the week.” The Rebbe gave him a blessing and told him everything should be successful. He went on to say to him in English: “And you should step from step to step in all the matters of Yiddishkeit.” In other words, “I bless you to succeed in what you’re about to do, but keep moving forward, step by step, in every aspect of Yiddishkeit.” And boruch Hashem, I have no complaints. My son does what the Rebbe said; he does his best. The boys study in yeshivos and lead Jewish lives, and through my visits to the Rebbe, my daughter and son-in-law became the Rebbe’s shluchim. So my daughter and son-in-law became Chabad shluchim, and now the whole family is part of Chabad. So that’s the story. It’s my life story, really—something so real and tangible. To this day, if I have a problem in life, I write a letter, put it in a Tanya, and receive an answer from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. So at an evening like this, with all the work of Shifra and Puah here, I wish all of you success! And you

08:12 Speaker 1 can pass on the message of how hard we fight to bring a child into the world. May you keep going and go from strength to strength. All the best to you, and much success.

08:58 Speaker 2 Can you show it, please? Tell them what it is.

09:04 Speaker 1 We’re trying to show you the bless— the blessing the Frierdiker Rebbe wrote to my grandmother in connection with everything she asked him about the birth and all those events. We’ll try to show it to you on video.

09:21 Speaker 2 Someone [unclear].

09:58 Speaker 1 It’s written in Yiddish, but I’ll explain it to you in Hebrew, okay? So this is what it says. The secretary, Yechezkel Feigin, replies. He writes to Mrs. Hoda [unclear], may she live long—that’s my grandmother. He tells her: “A reply from the Rebbe shlita to your request. May Hashem help you all be healthy. Since your husband writes that he arrived in South Africa and found work there, may Hashem help you find a good place there to earn a living, and may you be able to be together. May Hashem grant your son success.” That’s what he writes to her. My uncle was studying then at the Ponevezh yeshiva—he’s a rabbi—and he writes to her that her son [unclear] should be a good student and be healthy. “And may Hashem send a shidduch for your daughter Rachel, your second daughter, and [unclear].” That’s my mother. And her daughter—your daughter [unclear]—should get through the birth safely. That Yiddish phrase refers to the time of delivery: that she should get through the birth safely. And when the time comes, it’s better to be in a big city. It’s advisable to be in a big city for the birth. And the secretary signs on behalf of the esteemed Rebbe: Yechezkel Feigin. Did you hear what a long blessing that was? May all the blessings the Rebbe gave come true, and may everything the Rebbe said come true. And I’m sure, with Hashem’s help, that this includes the coming of Moshiach. The Rebbe said, “Moshiach is coming any moment now,” and we hope he will come at any moment. And indeed, it’s clear from the way you speak that the person whose words you are recounting stands before your eyes. Thank you very much, and many blessings. Since hearing cannot compare to seeing, we’ll exchange words for a living picture and watch filmed scenes depicting the day after. It is no coincidence that Mr. Avi Friedman is here for this event: the spirit of volunteering within him is something he shares with the organization’s work. Mr. Friedman filmed the movie as a volunteer. He is also here as a volunteer, and for that, a round of applause for Mr. Friedman.

14:16 Speaker 3 May it be for us and all Israel. Mazel to—

14:25 Speaker 4 Mazel tov, mazel tov. Ah, ah, ah. Mazel to—

14:30 Speaker 3 Mazel tov. May it be for us.

14:35 Speaker 4 Na.

14:35 Speaker 3 And all Israel.

14:37 Speaker 4 Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy.

14:41 Speaker 3 Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy. Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy. Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy—

14:57 Speaker 4 Hello, Zerubella. It’s me. How are things? How’s the little one? Adorable, of course. He looks like me—the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The doctor nearly fainted when he saw him. Well, really, is he my son or isn’t he? What did you expect? Tell me, where should the outfit you asked me to bring be? Yes, I know it’s in the closet in the children’s room, but there are three closets here. No, I don’t remember what you said. How could I? It was impossible. You give seven instructions a minute. Believe me, I thought of bringing a tape recorder. Come on, it won’t cost you anything to say it again. Right, in the clo— okay— in the closet with the scarf. Okay, okay, one hund— bye. Phone. Hello? Yes, Zeru— What’s wrong, Zerubella? Yes, I started a load of laundry. I did exactly what you said. Exactly, exactly. I—I know what I did there. I think it was B3. Why are you getting upset? Your blood pressure will go up. Come on, why are you getting upset? Why? Really, really. Here, I’ll write it down now. I’ll write down exactly what you say. Don’t— everything will be fine. Set it to D2, turn it left. See? Everything’s fine, I’m telling you, a hundred percent. Look, I’ve always said it would be better if men gave birth. Look at the mess when you give birth. We would get three days off without pay, and the women would carry on at home—cleaning, cooking, doing laundry. Life would go on as usual. Look, you gave birth, and what a mess! Tell me, wouldn’t it be better if I gave birth? What will they wear tomorrow? Exactly what they wore today. And the day after tomorrow, exactly what they wore tomorrow. No, then [unclear]. Do I care what people think? It’s my business too. It’s, it’s, it’s not going to happen—the children won’t wear the same clothes for a whole week

17:44 Speaker 4 Does that hurt her shidduch prospects? Is our daughter supposed to get engaged right now? Really, anyone who has a problem with it can just close their eyes. That’s it. Bye, see you. Hello? Zerubella! I haven’t spoken to you in a million years. How’s it going? Not to ask your mother to come help me? Why? She’s sick, she has a runny nose, she’s coughing, her eyes are at the clinic. Wh—what am I supposed to do? What do you mean, will I manage? The world won’t collapse in three days without you. Do you want me to call my mother? Your poor mother isn’t well; what can we do? Fine, all right. No, I haven’t found the outfit yet. Not yet, I’m looking. What do you mean, don’t mess up your...? First of all, I haven’t messed up your closet. Everything is tidy. You can come and see—everything is tidy. Zerubella, let me get things organized at my own pace. No, I’m telling you, trust me. You asked for an outfit, you’ll get an outfit. No conditions, no condi— everything will be in ord— I... closets, closets, closets. Messy closets bother you? Then you know what? It’s best if you don’t go up and look. You can sort it out when you get back. Bye. Guys, wait, wait, wait. Think, think, think. Zerubella said, “A plain outfit with feet.” Plain, plain—see? It’s plain, right? Feet? Yes! Great, great. Between us, the baby could fit into this more than two hundred times. But I’ll just follow instructions. Plain, with feet? Got it! Phone. You should thank me. Hello? Yes, yes. What, not my mother either? Why? What did she do to you? It’s just because of your [unclear], isn’t it? Wh—why? Why? Tell me, why? She interferes? She’ll see that your closets are messy? Tell me, have you ever seen her closets? Believe me, take my word for it—they’re like the wall of the Beis Hamikdash, the wall of the Beis Hamikdash. What? Wh—

20:54 Speaker 4 Look, if it’s a matter of principle for you, then there’s nothing I can do, right? But look, I really don’t understand it, believe me. Your mother, I can understand. Come on. But my mother is pure gold. Believe me, I’ve known her for thirty years—you could kiss her fingers. Still, if it’s a matter of principle for you... Well, “If I am lost, I am lost.” She can go help my sister; what can I do? Yes, I found it, I fou— Of course I found it. What, what does it look like? Don’t you trust me? Fine, all right. You—wait, you wanted light blue with feet, right? Great, here it is. It looks light blue with feet. You can come and see, really. How does it fa— What difference does it make how it fastens? It fastens. Fine, a zipper, a zipper. Do you really think it makes a difference to the baby whether it has a zipper or buttons? What do you mean, that’s not it? Zeru—Zerubella, let me get a wink of sleep. Zerubella, you know... I know you’ve just given birth; I’ve just given birth too. Come on, how am I supposed to find it when I’m this worked up? How am I supposed to find it? Fine, good night to you. Tell me, really, really, what’s wrong with this one? What’s wrong with it? Why can’t this be it? Why? Why?

22:27 Speaker 5 The Jewish people, the Jewish people, the Jewish people—when Hashem asks, a Jew is [unclear], even [unclear]—

22:38 Speaker 6 Mazel tov! May you have much nachas.

22:41 Speaker 4 Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?

22:44 Speaker 6 Shoshana from Shifra and Puah.

22:46 Speaker 4 What happened? Why are you calling? Did you hear something about us? No, I promise you everything is fine, a hundred percent. I’m doing great. You can even ask my wife. We already have a stroller and a cradle. So why are you calling?

22:58 Speaker 6 No, it has nothing to do with that. Shifra and Puah helps everyone, rich and poor, whether they’re managing or not. The problem is that women usually don’t let us know what’s happening. At best, a neighbor calls to tell us that so-and-so has given birth, and that’s a shame. If you had called a week or two before the birth, we could have been in touch earlier and lent a hand.

23:20 Speaker 4 Really? I thought all you did was give out strollers and cradles to people who couldn’t manage. You know, people who don’t know how to manage on their own, so you help them. That’s what I thought.

23:34 Speaker 6 Well, you really aren’t up to date. Shifra and Puah helps from before the birth until the mother has fully recovered.

23:41 Speaker 4 Why didn’t I know about this with the previous births? Every time I had to man—well, muddle through on my own. No, really, it’s fine, it’s fine, no problem. Next time there’s a birth, I’ll call right on time. I’ll call, I promise. I say “next time,” but listen, we’ve already missed the before-the-birth part. What can I do? [unclear], but come help me. Maybe you can help me? How do I find an outfit I’ve never seen in a closet I don’t know, to bring the baby home from the hospital?

24:12 Speaker 6 Why rack your brains? Shifra and Puah have a kit for bringing a baby home from the hospital, and even a set for the bris.

24:21 Speaker 4 Really? Listen, that sounds interesting. What else do you do?

24:25 Speaker 6 First of all, we send the new mother to a recovery home to recuperate.

24:29 Speaker 4 Wow, great. And tell me, what am I supposed to do with all the little ones at home while my wife’s at the recovery home? I’ve got to work to pay for it too, don’t I?

24:38 Speaker 6 No. First of all, Shifra and Puah cover fifty percent. As for the rest: volunteer girls will look after the children. Yad Batya, the soup kitchen, sends hot food every day, including for Shabbos and holidays.

24:53 Speaker 4 Oh, I really am terribly hungry.

24:55 Speaker 6 And a cleaning lady will clean the house once a week for three weeks.

24:59 Speaker 4 Blessed are You, Hashem our G-d, King of the universe, Who creates varieties of foods.

25:05 Speaker 6 And around holidays and school breaks, we also run day camps.

25:09 Speaker 4 Beautiful, fantastic! I’m telling you, fantastic. I’m going to set up Help for Men. Listen to my plan. Here’s how it’ll work: my wife will be at the recovery home with the baby, I’ll be at Help for Men—a recovery home for the new father—and Shifra and Puah will take care of my children and the house. Wow, what a system! But really, let’s be serious. No, really. Why don’t you, for instance, put out a brochure for men, so we can go into the birth feeling good? Like a childbirth-preparation course. Before the birth, you open the brochure and see what Shifra and Puah do: there’s a set for the bris, a kit for bringing the baby home, the soup kitchen, day camps for the children. Um, what else did I forget? A cleaning lady. You write down all those things, and then we can go into it with a clear head. I’m telling you, it’s very important. I’m involved in this area, and I’m even willing to help you. Really. Just give me a call—one call, and I’m on the job.

26:17 Speaker 6 That’s an idea. Maybe we really should think about it?

26:19 Speaker 4 No, no, really, look. And another thing: how do you manage? Look, what you’re doing is something huge, tremendous. You’re practically like the UN. I don’t even know who benefits more—my mother, my mother-in-law, or my niece, who’s the innocent victim... Everyone benefits from you. And something this big takes money, lots of money. Where do you get it?

26:46 Speaker 6 There really are many people like you who support and help us, and there are also various organizations that assist.

26:52 Speaker 4 But I understand that, basically, you rely on donations from the general public. Listen, as soon as I get through this birth, I’m going to put together a top-notch fundraiser for you.

27:02 Speaker 6 Just don’t forget us the way we forget our births.

27:06 Speaker 4 What are you talking about? Me, forget? My memory’s a ten out of ten! You can even ask my wife. But really, hand on heart, couldn’t you have called earlier? Before I got myself into this whole mess?

27:18 Speaker 6 Hand on heart, honestly, I called, but the line was busy.

00:05 Speaker 1 Thank you, Tzila, for writing the text and for your wonderful performance. Thank you, Tova, for your wonderful performance. I’m coming to you as well, for the artistic vision that has just allowed us to feel our gratitude to the Shifra and Puah organization. Needless to say, the idea for the film and its production were the initiative of women who benefit from Shifra and Puah’s work. And so that this good thought won’t get lost in the sea of everyday tasks, let’s give it a practical means right now, to make it easier for us to turn thought into action. Since we are living now in the time of the Geulah, a time when all difficulties and concealments will disappear, along with most charitable and aid organizations, this very organization, Shifra and Puah, will flourish and grow. It is fitting to prepare it now with practical resources. Let each of us see this as her own personal preparation for the imminent Geulah. And as women, we have always known, “As in the days of your going out of the land of Egypt,” the days of the first redemption, the secret of giving in the right way. Like the women of the redemption from Egypt, who did not give their jewelry for the Golden Calf but were first to give for the Mishkan. So let us do our best to provide the organization with what it needs to continue its mission. In front of you are envelopes. All we have to do is write down a name, address, phone number, and the amount we want to give to Shifra and Puah. There are three options: 125 shekels, 150 shekels, and 180 shekels. All you have to do—and I do, and all of us do—is mark with an X the amount you want to give. You also have three payment options: cash, a standing bank order, or checks. You can indicate the number of checks. And to make it easy for us, we only have to open the second, inner envelope, get home, put the chosen amount inside, and send it to Shifra and Puah. Even a child can do that. And so that the scenes we have just seen do not become a reality again, I would like to offer my personal help with this.

03:48 Speaker 1 I would be glad to have the help of other women who feel as I do. Each of us can remind the busy women of valor—and I’m sure they are busy—of the commitment they made this evening, and in that way help turn their good intentions into action. Of course, I would be delighted if everyone decided to leave us with nothing to do, and the funds pledged this evening made their way to their destination on their own. Ready? Good. Where’s Esti? Esti, please. Where is she? And so... she’s here. The young kids have outdone the older goats. Let’s hear the youngsters’ voices in a song and a melody about the organization. Esti and Yipush, please. Sorry.

05:32 Speaker 2 [unclear] Shifra and Puah are with me, and [unclear] from the hospital [unclear]. Mother is gathering her strength, and I join in the cries. We are very happy here. My G-d, please send blessing and success to all the women doing this work. May Hakadosh Boruch Hu grant you blessings, and may you merit to perform more mitzvos. We got home, got dressed, and already Mom [unclear]. A desperate knock is heard at the door. Hello, it’s the helper. Dad stares: Who is [unclear]? And standing proudly in the doorway is [unclear]. My G-d, please send blessing and success to all the women doing this work. May Hakadosh Boruch Hu grant you blessings

07:24 Speaker 3 and may you merit to perform more mitzvos. A year went by and our family grew. My little sister is adorable. And thanks to [unclear], I get a wonderful babysitter. She takes me out for walks; they give her a little [unclear]. And with that, I [unclear]. My G-d, please send blessing and success to all the women doing this work. May Hashem grant you double blessings, and may you merit to perform more mitzvos. Joining in these blessings are the grandmothers, grandfathers, and aunts. All of us are here now, [unclear], joining in the blessings and the songs. May Hashem grant you double blessings and help [unclear]. And together we’ll sing at the top of our voices. My G-d, please send blessing and success to all the women doing this work. May Hashem grant you double blessings, and may you merit to perform more mitzvos. Please send blessing and success to all the women doing this work. May Hashem grant you double blessings, and may you merit to perform more mitzvos.

10:02 Speaker 4 Say that it’s good. Say that it’s good.

10:05 Speaker 5 The young kids have outdone the older goats. They really did it: they understood what the older goats were thinking and managed to express it so charmingly, along with what we are feeling now. Thank you, Yipush. Thank you, Esti, Tzila’s daughter, and thank you, Tova, for the wise words. I’ve been asked to announce that car number 417679 is blocking the entrance. Please move it so they can get out. Thank you. For everyone making a pledge this evening, the girls will come around shortly to collect the envelopes. Anyone who pledges an amount can choose a gift from the organization: a stand for diapers and a tzedakah box for every baby’s or child’s room; or, once they’ve rested a little after their stay at the recovery home, a recipe book, attractively and conveniently designed so it will never get stained with chocolate milk or flour. And we’ll be good balabustas. I’ve been asked to mention something on behalf of the organization: everything is always by Divine Providence, and I believe even a mistake is by Divine Providence. It was said that half the amount would go to the recovery home. It is still difficult to give half the amount, but surely, when we leave this evening, they will certainly be able to give the full amount toward enabling a woman to stay at the recovery home. It all depends on us. Where are the girls? Where are the girls? Where are the girls who are coming around? Meanwhile, as we all fill in the forms and decide how much to put down, I want to take the opportunity—not at the end of the evening, but right in the middle of it—to thank everyone working behind the scenes and making this evening and its vital, varied activities possible. Many thanks to the Dr. Fischer company, and many thanks to the Neca company for the lovely gift we received at the entrance. Thank you very much, Mrs. Chana Abramovitz. Your energetic, devoted help made it possible for us to arrange this gift. Thanks and blessings to Shifra Aharonov and those assisting her, who saw to it that the cakes being served, which they baked themselves, are presented with originality and good taste. Two

14:23 Speaker 5 [unclear]. And here, before I express my appreciation to you, Mrs. Levin, I want to read you a poem written for the soup kitchen and its staff, may they live and be well. “Thank you and blessings for your great care, for the prepared food, delicious, packed and warmed, that arrived every day exactly on time. And if we forgot to place an order, you made sure to call and ask. You answered ‘yes’ to every request. Keep up your work—and above all, may it be for happy occasions. Your work surely brings us one step closer to the end of exile and the revelation.” Yisroel and Tzipora Medanchik. Kislev 5755. And to Mrs. Levin, who has a hand in every dish for the baby and mother, grandfather and grandmother: blessings to you. May you continue to oversee the work in good health. Also here with us this evening are [unclear]. We have nurses from Assaf Harofeh Hospital with us, Nurse Tziona and Nurse Ziva, honoring us with their presence. May your hands always be full of this blessed work. Thank you very much. And to you, Levana, and you, Gila, the devoted nurses who look after everyone’s health: thank you very much. It’s just a small word, but thank you again. Dr. Erez is also here with us this evening. We are truly glad you came and are taking part with us; you always make every effort to come and be part of us. Bless you! And to Mrs. Yona and her sons, thank you and blessings for the lovely, pleasant presentation and the delicious food. May Hakadosh Boruch Hu keep you busy beyond measure arranging celebrations. Many thanks to Mr. Ellenson. He has photographed the event since the first gathering and presents the pictures to us in a beautiful album—all, of course, as a volunteer. And many thanks to the Kol Shar company for the sound system, amplification, and video. I would like to note here that Kol Shar’s first undertaking was to play the first broadcast of a farbrengen of the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, here in Israel. Very soon they will play it again, but without a broadcast—the voice of our righteous Moshiach. And now, to you lovely girls who worked so hard for this evening, Elki and Chani Levin,

18:35 Speaker 5 Esti Yehuda, Esther Cohen, Avigail and Batsheva Edri, Chani Chadvi, Odelia and Rivka Haddad. May you be blessed. Thank you so very much. And last but certainly not least, the baby boys and baby girls, the sons of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov and the daughters of Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah, who give our organization, Shifra and Puah, its purpose and its continued existence. Thank you so very much. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. And here I want to share a little of my own behind-the-scenes story. I saved these two for last, but certainly not least: Tovush and Yafush Ripkin. I know for certain that they answer my phone calls, and everyone else’s too. They have worked so hard over the past few months, and thank you both so much for making this evening a success. A precious gem called recovery. As I said, we are in the eighteenth year of an organization founded on Yom Kippur, at a moment when three peaks of holiness come together: the Kohen Gadol, the holiest person, in the Holy of Holies, the holiest place, on Yom Kippur, the holiest day. A prayer is heard asking for rain, for children and for Moshiach. It is interesting that the first request focuses specifically on material needs as a means to an end. On material needs as a means toward the main goal, and on strengthening the foundations of the home and family through proper health, we will hear from psychologist Ilana Yisrael. Please.

21:42 Speaker 6 Good evening. I look at this enormous audience and I’m truly moved myself. When I was asked to speak about the process of recovery and the importance of this period for a woman who has given birth, I remembered something a professor in Boston, a great expert on women’s health and childbirth, told me many years ago. It was during a rather unusual birth. In the American way of doing things, the private doctor I had chosen was about to go on vacation, and he was on his way to the airport to fly to Mexico. That’s how it works there, no exceptions. Birth or no birth, if the baby didn’t come at the right time, he was gone. A very senior professor at that hospital took his place. I was still young then, and I thought you had to suffer, that suffering was wonderful. I wouldn’t let anyone help me in any way. I was really waving the banner of the sanctity of natural childbirth, and no one was going to stop me from suffering as much as I possibly could. After the birth, which was very long and exhausting, he came the next day to check that everything was all right. He said something I’ve remembered for many years. “You know,” he said, “I’ve seen many women like you. The type who want to be great heroes. I want to tell you: I’ve seen them a year after the birth too, and that’s when the exhaustion and fatigue and lack of energy begin to set in. You have plenty of energy now. You can run around, you can pretend to the whole world that nothing has really changed and go right back to your activities. But remember what I’m telling you,” he said. “A year from now, you’ll feel it.” I heard him, and of course, like many of us, we hear these things but still carry on as we’re used to. So, with a great show of “heroism,” in quotation marks, I went back to work after six

24:36 Speaker 6 weeks, because in America there’s no maternity leave, no three months. At work, they don’t look too kindly on a woman who has given birth staying away from work for too long. So I went back to work, back to the full workload. The following summer, about eight months later, not even a year.

25:03 Speaker 7 I’m sorry to interrupt, but if we’re going to hear, we need quiet from the audience. Many of us want to listen. Please, let us listen and hear. Thank you very much.

25:23 Speaker 6 That summer, as I found myself walking my little girl around the playground—she had somehow already learned to toddle more or less steadily on her feet—I remembered what the professor had said. I felt tired. I felt exhausted. I felt that I was doing everything my daughter needed, but I wasn’t enjoying it. I had no energy, no energy to enjoy it. I think this happens to a great many of us. I see many women—and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a first or second birth; it can be a tenth—with an enormous sense of responsibility, so much strength and energy, who don’t want anything neglected or anything to fall through the cracks. Often, a month before the birth, they’ve already started stocking the freezer with meals, complete with notes and labels. They’ve prepared each older child in the family for what his or her responsibilities will be during the two or three days they’ll be away from home. They’ve tried to get everything organized. All of you who have given birth recently surely know the nesting instinct, that urge to put everything in order. And precisely in those last days before the birth, when we really ought to rest a little and gather our strength, we remember everything in the house that still isn’t perfect, everything that still needs our touch and one last bit of attention. The main thing is to leave the house in perfect order. Then we leave, and the birth—longer or shorter, harder or easier—is over, and our minds often return far too quickly to what’s happening at home with the family. A little like the phone calls we saw in the film earlier. And often there’s guilt, especially after a first or second birth, about the little ones we left at home: how hard it must be for them, how they’re used to Mommy sitting beside them every day before bed, how much they must be crying, and how Daddy isn’t Mommy and it isn’t the same. And how

27:47 Speaker 6 can we do this to them? We feel so awful, so sad for them, and we identify with them. Then it depends on each of us. Some of us enjoy staying in the hospital—the rest, the roommates, the visitors who come with gifts and flowers. Each to her own. And some can’t stand being in a hospital. To this day, for example, I have an unpleasant memory of five or five-thirty in the morning, when the lights would come on and the nurses would enter the rooms to remind us that it was time to get up and prepare for the first feeding. I always thought that if hospitals shifted that routine just a tiny bit, an hour later, I would be very happy. In any event, many of us are already very preoccupied, even in those first days, with what’s happening at home and how everyone is managing. When our husband comes, instead of enjoying a quiet conversation, that time together when we could talk intimately at the hospital, we often turn into supervisors, trying to manage things by remote control. We want to know whether everything is going smoothly at home, whether he’s doing exactly what we asked and whether all the instructions are being followed. Our husband gets a little irritated and tense, though he doesn’t want to upset us. And often he disappoints us too, because at a time like this we genuinely feel entitled to all the help, understanding and sensitivity we need, and he isn’t always quite in that frame of mind. It’s hard for him, it bothers him, his whole routine is disrupted. He isn’t always where we’d like him to be. And we don’t always have a mother who can help at home. Sometimes our mother is about to give birth herself. Sometimes she still has several little ones of her own to care for. In large families it isn’t so simple. A mother isn’t always available for this. Even so, I believe—both from my own experience and from knowing

30:17 Speaker 6 many women, including women who ultimately suffered because they didn’t allow themselves to rest—that we need to make ourselves rest. We need to insist on taking a little care of ourselves and not go home before we’ve recharged our batteries and regained our strength. Often, physically, if the birth was easy, we recover fairly quickly. Within a day or two, the hospital wants to discharge us; we don’t need medical supervision. Sometimes we can even walk around and feel quite comfortable, those of us fortunate enough to feel that way. But when we get home and suddenly have to deal with things—and it doesn’t matter how many children are at home—with the demands, the pestering and the requests, we realize how far we still are from having the patience we need. So many—