קידוש בין שש לשבע בערב (תשפ״ג)

00:00 This is Iggers. Today, we are doing a special episode. The real reason why, why we're doing a special episode is because last time we talked, we discussed what to do when a spouse disagrees with you about Halakha. Uh, pursuant to that, we talked about the fact that among Anash, the number one probably Minhag-based Shalom Bayis issue this time of year, and maybe in all times of year, is what time to make Kiddush on Shabbos. This one comes up a lot. Um, I cannot tell you how many times I've been told by other people in our community and people in other communities that they either do or do not because of Shalom Bayis or despite the lack of Shalom Bayis, but it really is. This is, uh, if you ask a Lubavitcher what Chabad Minhag gets most in the way of your Shalom Bayis, I think a lot of them would say, uh, not making Kiddush between six and seven because that's exactly when dinner time is supposed to be this time of year. Okay. So because of that, we're now going to do a deep dive into the Rebbe's take on, on, uh, on when to make Kiddush on Shabbos, uh, whether we can make Kiddush between six and seven. We're gonna do a lot of background Halakha to really understand where the dinim come from. Okay. So I wanna start off with, uh, with why we don't make Kiddush between six and seven on Shabbos. I used to tell my students when I was

01:01 on Shlichus, we don't make Kiddush between six and seven on Shabbos, and they would say back to me, "Why?" And I would say, "Because it makes Mars angry." This was my flippant response. It makes the planet Mars angry. Now, it was not that flippant, as a matter of fact, because, uh, that is, that is more or less the reason given in the Gemara and more or less the reason given in Halakha. So let's take a look at some of the primary sources. We have a Gemara here. It's Masefet Shabbos kuf yud tes amud beis. Tamyah Rabbi Yesi bar Yudah. He says, "Shnei malachei shor es milavin l'daleh beerev Shabbos." There are two malachim. Uh, you probably heard this one when you were kids. Did you know it was a Gemara? The Daf Yomi people knew it was a Gemara. Did anybody else know it was a Gemara? There are two malachim that escort a person home on Erev Shabbos from Shul when they come back home. So after you've finished davening on Shabbos, there are two malachim, two angels, that come back home with you. Echa tov echad ra. One of them is a good malach, one of them is a bad malach. Because Rabba Losek, when you come into your house, Amatsa ner daluk v'shulchan arev mitas u'mutas, when you come to the house and you find that there's a candle burning and the table set and the beds are made, malach tov emi yiratsun she'z Shabbos acheres cach. The good angel says, "May

01:56 it be God's will that it will always be the next Shabbos will be like this one too." And the malach ra, amen baal karchein, the, uh, the evil angel is forced to answer amen to the blessing of the good angel. That is one Gemara to keep in the back of your heads, is that we have a positive angel and a negative angel. Why am I telling you this Gemara now? We're gonna see a little bit lower that the Eila Shabbos is going to say that each of these malachim is associated with a constellation, and that the reason why we don't wanna make Kiddush during six and seven is because at that moment, the evil angel has precedence. But we'll see that in a second. Keep that thought in the back of your head. We have a second Gemara that we need to know. It's Masefet Shabbos kuf kaf tes amud beis, and this is Mar saying that you shouldn't, uh, bimak is dam. You shouldn't bloodlet on certain times, specifically when Mazal Madim is in charge, when the, when the Mazal, when the constellation of Mars, we're gonna talk about what that means exactly, what is a constellation of Mars. Just hold that for now. When Mars is dominant, when the astrological sign of Mars, when the constellation of Mars is dominant, don't bloodlet because all sorts of negative things happen when a person bloodlets under Mars. And, uh, as for people who do this, Sham fasayem Hashem, some people do it anyway, but fortunately,

02:55 fools are protected by Hashem. Simple people are protected, so we don't always worry about Mazal Madim. But as a general rule, it'd be a good idea not to get involved with Mars. Now, what we really need is this Rashi. This Rashi on this Gemara Masefet Shabbos on kuf kaf tes amud beis, that first of all explains the problem with Mars, and second of all explains how Mars can ascend and be part of a constellation, what exactly that means. I'm sure this is something most of us have wondered, is, uh, is Mars is a planet. It's in the sky or it's not in the sky. How it moves across the sky is not terribly predictable. Um, what exactly it means that Mars is in charge between six and seven on Fridays, why this isn't a problem on a Wednesday, um, Rashi does explain this right here, and the Rebbe's gonna tie into this Rashi in many letters. So first Rashi says, "V'Mazal Madim m'shamosh b'sha zugos. V'Mazal Madim munah al cherev." Mazal Madim is the part I want you to see. Mazal Madim, the constellation of Mars, the planet Mars, is in charge of sword and in charge of pestilence and in charge of punishment. So Mars is a very negative thing. Now, here, Rashi explains why Mars is ascendant and how exactly that happens. So this, uh, this abbreviation is the order of the Mazalot as they're listed in Rambam and many other places. Uh, that is, I'm gonna get them all wrong. That's Shabti,

03:57 that's Tzedek, so that's Saturn, that's Jupiter, that's Mars. The Ches is Chamah, that's Sun, I think, right? Yeah? I think so. And then that is, um, Nogah would be Venus, and then Kochav is, I can't remember, and Lamed is Levana. Okay, in any event, we have, uh, we have the constellation. So Rashi says, "Seida shais ki shinisnu ha'ma'eres m'mazalot sha rishonot shel dalet b'Shabbos. Shumah Shabbati first." Okay, so listen to this. Uh, what day did the stars get created? Day four, right? So prior to day four, we don't have stars in the sky. When God put the stars in the sky, he put them in, uh, by the hour, it sounds like according to Rashi, is the first star that was put in the sky on the fourth day was Saturn, and then after that came Jupiter, and then after that came, uh, Mars, and then after that came the Sun, and after that came Venus, and after that came whatever Kochav is. I cannot remember for some reason. And after that came the Moon, and, uh, each of these seven Mazalot w- took up one of the seven hours of that first day. The problem is that there are more than seven hours in a day, right? So since there is a seven-hour cycle of each of these things going in that order, imagine that order going from, I really should've written it in English so it'd be easier to remember, but going from Saturn to Jupiter to Mars to Sun to Nogah to

05:01 Kochav to Levana is going to repeat itself over and over again, starting on the first hour of Wednesday. That is the hour between midnight and one AM. That's gonna be when, uh, that's the first time we see any star, and that seven cycle is gonna repeat over and over again. If you do the math, and I did do the math, and it does work out. I was on the bus with like a, with like a pen trying to scribble this. It does work out then that from six to seven PM on Friday, since it keeps on cycling through those seven all the way to Friday, you will arrive at Madim. You're gonna arrive at Mars on S- from six to seven PM on Friday. So that's what it means that Mars is ascendant. It doesn't necessarily even mean that Mars is in the sky at that time or that Mars is an end-- an identifiable constellation in any particular place. It has nothing to do with that. It's that when God made the world, he initially put the stars in order, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and every hour they repeat which one is in charge, and Mazal Madim happens to fall out. Uh, it falls out several times. It falls out throughout the week over and over again. Every seven hours it falls out, right? But one of those seven hours that it falls out on is on Friday nights from six to seven PM, right around the time you would wanna

05:59 say Kiddush, and we do not wanna say Kiddush at that time. Why not? There's Ele Shabbos. Ele Shabbos is not a new book. Um, it's, uh, it's about as old as the Shulchan Aruch. I think he lived in like sixteen fifty. So it's a, uh, so maybe a little later, but, uh, it's quoted by the Magen Avram. It's a pretty old sefer. The Ele Shabbos says the problem. «כְּתָב אַחְרֵנִים» They wrote, «שֶׁקַּדֵּשׁ קוֹדֵם שֶׁנִּכְנַס מַזָּל» I think that's supposed to be Mazal. «מַדִּים לְתְחִלַּת שַׁבָּת» That you should make kiddush before Madim arises on, on the beginning of El-- of Leil Shabbos. Don't make kiddush while Mars is in charge. Why? «דְּתְחִלַּת שַׁבָּת מְשַׁרֵּשׁ מַזָּל מַדִּים» 'cause the beginning of Shabbos, Madim, that's Mars, is in charge. «וְסַמָּאֵל מְשַׁלָּל לוֹ» And the Samech Mem, that's Satan, that's the Yetzer Hara, is in charge of that particular constellation. «וּבְשַׁאֲר אַחְרֵינִים שֶׁל עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת מְשַׁרֵּשׁ מַזָּל צָדִק» But the last, the hour right before that, remember the order. The order is Saturn, then Jupiter, then Mars. So since Jupiter, which is Se-Tzedek, is right before that, Tzedek is actually has a great Malach associated with it. That's Malach Tzadkiel. Tzadkiel is the name of a Malach, I guess. And that Malach, Tzadkiel, is in charge of that Mazal. «שֶׁהֵם שְׁנֵי מְלָכִים שֶׁאָמְרוּ חֲז"ל אַף עַל פִּי כֵּן אֶחָד רָע» Now, in our Gemara in Massekhet Shabbos, we said two Malachim escort you home on Erev Shabbos, says the Ele Shabbos. Why? Because that also means that Jupiter and

07:07 Mars are escorting you home on Erev Shabbos. That is that we have the planet of Jupiter near the beginning of Erev Shabbos. We have the planet of Mars right when Shabbos starts. They have two Malachim, therefore, the Malach that doesn't like us very much, the Samech Mem, and the Malach that does like us, Tzadkiel, and these two Malachim are both walking us home on Erev Shabbos, one good and one evil. «שֶׁאִין אֶפְשָׁר לְכַאֲפֹשׂ שַׁבָּת בַּקַּדֵּשׁ מִשַּׁעַר הַשְּׂרָה» You don't wanna make kiddush at the moment that Mars is in charge, «רַק מִשַּׁעַר שֶׁצָדִק» You wanna make kiddush at the time that Tzedek is in charge. «וְרַבָּה כַּרְכִּי עֲנָה אָמֵן» because the whole point of our Gemara was that he's going to see the table set, and then one Malach, whichever one is dominant, is gonna make a berakhah, and the Malach that is, uh, that is «בַּל כָּרְכִי», that is forced to answer, is gonna answer, "Amen." The idea in the Ele Shabbos is that if you were to make kiddush at the time when Mars is in charge, you'd be making kiddush at the time that the bad Malach's in charge, and that means the bad Malach will be able to say, God forbid, that every Shabbos should be horrible, and Tzedek would be forced to answer, Tzadkiel would be forced to answer, "Amen." So we wanna u-- we wanna do kiddush at a time when Mars is not dominant, not necessarily for the reasons that I would've thought, that come from our Gemara in

08:06 Shabbos klal tes, that Mars is a time of evil and a time of ‹foreign word› to damage us, but very specifically because we're trying to get the right Malach to be in charge at that moment, and making kiddush under Mars would give the Malach that wants us to have bad Shabboses for coming weeks, uh, a certain primacy. And then the second Malach would, uh, the second Malach, Tzadkiel, would have to say amen to his berakhah. Is, uh, I know we did this quickly. Is this part clear? People are okay? Let's keep on going then. So that's the basis of Mazal. Madim, that's what it really means to not make kiddush under Mars, and I found that very helpful when I was learning this because I was never completely clear on what it meant to not make kiddush under Mars. So now I think we understand that. Let's go on to the Halakha itself. Is it clear-cut that we don't make kiddush under Mars? Well, it's not in Shulchan Aruch. Uh, the Mechaber doesn't bring it, the Rama doesn't bring it. So the first thing you need to know is that, uh, this is not a Halakha, it's not a din, it's definitely in the area of minhag. However, it is a fairly strong minhag. It goes all the way back to the Magen Avram in one form or another. So we have here, ‹foreign language› This is important because the people who don't-- the people who say that you should not, uh, you should not

09:04 wait until seven o'clock to make kiddush are midak in this Magen Avram and also midak in the Shulchan Aruch that it might be asur to wait. Uh, the Shulchan Aruch does bring the Halakha that the moment you come home, you have to make kiddush. Uh, you have to make kiddush immediately. ‹foreign language› What does that mean? Says the Magen Avram, ‹foreign language› There's a mitzvah de'oraita to mention Shabbos when it enters. The Takkanat Rabbanan was that it would be over kiddush or that it would be over wine, but, uh, the idea of mentioning Shabbos when it enters is a mitzvah de'oraita according to most sources. Since we understand it generally to be a mitzvah de'oraita, that would mean the moment that you can make kiddush, you have to make kiddush, and you're not allowed to wait. So, uh, this seems to be a din. The Magen Avram paskens this way. It's in the Shulchan Aruch, that we're not allowed to wait. Waiting an hour, sitting home and waiting an hour for kiddush might be a real halakhic problem. Now, the M-Magen Avram goes on to say something else, though. ‹foreign language› That's from the Arizal. The Arizal says, ‹foreign language› Uh, ‹foreign language› I missed a word. ‹foreign language› That a person should make kiddush before nightfall. It's better to make kiddush before nightfall. There's no reason, by the way, al pi halakha, to wait until seis for kiddush. There's a reason to wait until seis for maariv, but, uh, but not for kiddush. ‹foreign

10:04 language› Because the beginning of Shabbos is Mazal Madim. That's when Mars is ascendant. ‹foreign language› And the end of the day before is going to be Mazal Tzedek. ‹foreign language› So the Magen Avram wants us to make kiddush in Tzedek. Now, notice this. We also kind of have this from the Ele Shabbos. Is the idea here to make kiddush not between six and seven or to make kiddush at six? There are many achronim who wanna say that, uh, that the, that the, that the minhag is to make kiddush in the sixth at, at, at between five and six, to make kiddush while Tzedek is in charge because we want the Malach, Tzadkiel, to be able to make the berakhah for us. And it's not so much about avoiding Madim as much as it is as getting Tzedek. So that would mean that according to the way that I'm reading the Magen Avram right now, and I'm not the only one who reads him this way, it sounds like what the Magen Avram is saying is that we really don't care about not making kiddush, uh, between sev-- six and seven. We also don't really care about m-making kiddush, uh, we're not trying-- W-we wouldn't make kiddush at eight. Uh, the idea here is to make kiddush between five and six. So it's more, and this actually, this reading of the Magen Avram works better with this first sentence, 'cause there is a din that you're supposed to make kiddush immediately. It's hard to imagine that

11:00 the Magen Avram would say make kiddush immediately, but also push it off an hour if Mars is in the way. So the way a lot of people read this Magen Avram is very straightforward. Make kiddush as soon as possible. If you have a choice of making kiddush at five fifty or at, uh, or at seven o'clock, obviously choose five fifty. Go earlier rather than later because earlier will put you in Tzedek, but certainly make kiddush as soon as you get home. That's the way a lot of people read the Magen Avram. It's nowhere, that's not how the Alter Rebe is going to read it. The Alter Rebe reads the Magen Avram as saying that, uh, that you should make kiddush immediately as long as it's not while Mars is in the way, but that is not the only way to read it. It's obviously our way. We're partial to the Alter Rebe, but it's, it's not the only one out there. There is an Arukh HaShulchan you should be aware of that says that this whole thing is absolutely ridiculous. He says that, uh, ‹foreign language› I've seen somebody, and he's quoting the Magen Avram as if he's just somebody. He says, "I've seen somebody out there who says that you should make kiddush specifically before nighttime ‹foreign language› because that would be a problem of, uh, 'cause otherwise you'll intersect with Mars. ‹foreign language› Magen Avram. ‹foreign language› I think this is very surprising, says the Arukh HaShulchan. ‹foreign language› Who says that a

12:02 Mazal can control us? ‹foreign language› are not under the Mazal. A, a constellation can't control me. ‹foreign language› I saw in Kadmonim. I don't know what the source is that he's quoting. But he says there's an old source that says that the nations used to sit around on Shabbos in the darkness, and they would cry because the Mazal were negative on Shabbos, and they were worried they were gonna get hurt. And when HaKadosh Barukh Hu told us, when HaKadosh Barukh Hu gave us Shabbos, he commanded us to do the opposite, to light a whole bunch of candles and to celebrate Shabbos specifically to show that we're not scared of the Mazal, that we're not scared of constellations. ‹foreign language› Hashem took us to remove us from the control of the heavens. ‹foreign language› How can you possibly say that we should adjust our kiddush because of a concern of a constellation? We're not worried about constellations. ‹foreign language› Somebody who trusts in Hashem, ‹foreign language› will surround him at all times. The Arukh HaShulchan says this is utterly ridiculous. However, we have nothing but our Rebbe. The Alter Rebbe says in Shulchan Arukh Harav, ‹foreign language› This is how he reads the Magen Avram, I believe, and this is certainly how he reads the din. Here, let's read him inside. ‹foreign language› Note, the Al-Tadebe does not say you must. The Al-Tadebe says, to make Kiddush as soon as you get home, and then says, So the Al-Tadebe is not bringing this to the Halakha,

13:06 he's bringing this to the Minag. He's saying, those who are careful. As a Minag, they're those who are careful not to make Kiddush in the first hour of the night. which is seven hours counting from Chatzois HaYom. Uh, and when he tells you to look in Taf Chof Ches, I am sorry to report it doesn't exist. We don't have that section of his Shulchan Aruch. That means either do it early, like the Magan Avram says, or or to do it an hour later. Now, that is how he's understanding the Magan Avram, and as I told you, the Al-Tadebe is, uh, is that's one understanding of the Magan Avram. The other way to understand the Magan Avram is Dafke to do it earlier. The Al-Tadebe is reading into Magan Avram, that he's saying seven to, six to seven is off-limits, so either do it early or do it late, but not in that hour. because that's when Mars is in charge. Samael, Meshulalav, that's straight out of the, uh, the Shabbos. And then the Al-Tadebe says, as if trying to knock this idea a little bit, "We've already explained the Al Atchila, you have to make Kiddush the moment you come home from Shul." So I don't-- nobody knows exactly what to do with that sentence. One thing that you might wanna do with that sentence is that, that means definitely make Kiddush early, not late. Don't sit around waiting for an hour. Another way to read that sentence is that the is a Minag, and

14:15 the Lehalakha, the most important thing is to make Kiddush as quickly as possible. There are a couple different ways to read this. But in any event, what I want us to take away from all of this is from the top we understood that Mazal Madim is from Halakha. We're seeing that's a Magan Avram, and there's not everybody takes the Magan Avram all that seriously, and some people put the Magan Avram, the Aruch HaShulchan says he's wrong. And, uh, other opinions wanna take the Magan Avram to mean specifically make Ki-Kiddush early. The Al-Tadebe is very clear what he thinks. The Al-Tadebe says any time is fine for Kiddush, early or late, whatever, but definitely not in the middle, and that definitely not comes with a couple footnotes. First of all, it says, that a person should make Kiddush exactly when they come home, which might be that, uh, which might knock the six to seven rule a little bit. Also, the Al-Tadebe's reason which means that we're dealing with a Minag, not a Halakha. So it is a Minag to be careful between six and seven. Now, what time is that exactly? Is that really between six and seven? Is a, uh, is a classic question. It's one that the Tadebe addresses in many, many letters. Uh, people are very confused about what time exactly not to make Kiddush. I'm sure you've heard multiple opinions. I'm gonna tell you the bottom line. Uh, the bottom line is, uh, from basically all Rabbinic Chabad at this point.

15:14 Uh, Rab Ren wrote this on his website. Uh, Rav, uh, Rav Raskin, uh, made a website to-- He was the person who helped make the website to help figure out the times exactly. Uh, I wanna tell you the bottom line because we should at least know the practical Din. I, I don't know of any Lubavitcher Rav, any, any major Lubavitcher Rav who, uh, who disagrees with the bottom line. The bottom line is that this is actually five fifty-six to six fifty-six where we live and not, uh, and not, uh, and not, uh, and not six to seven PM exactly. It's four minutes off. And I'm gonna explain to you why it's four minutes off. It's not because you have to adjust the time every week. It's always four minutes off. Every single week it is the exact same time. There are three Shihtas in how to understand the Al-Tadebe and how to understand what the hour of six to seven is. Uh, one way to understand it is that it's just the first hour of Shabbos, no matter what time it is. As Shabbos changes, it's the first hour. Sometimes it's four to five, sometimes it's five to six. That is possible to read into the Al-Tadebe. The Al-Tadebe does say, the first hour of the night. And all you have to do is adjust Chatzois to make that fit. It's hard to fit that into the parenthesis, but that is one reading. As far as I know, nobody reads it that way. Um, but

16:13 one reading of the Al-Tadebe is that this just means the first hour of Shabbos. I don't know anybody who has that opinion. Then there are two opinions that did exist in Lubavitcher sources, and they wrote to the Rebbe multiple times trying to get the Rebbe to clarify this, and ultimately, the Rebbe clarified it, I think, very clearly, uh, and I think everybody else does too at this point. It took a while for this to develop and for us to have a solid take on exactly what the Rebbe thinks. Uh, you'll see in our letters that the Rebbe keeps on clarifying and clarifying. So two possible opinions is, what does it mean sixth hour after Chatzois? Does that mean that... Or seventh hour after Chatzois? Um, I should write seventh here. Seventh hour after Chatzois. Uh, is that literal Chatzois, or is that a average Chatzois? There's such a thing as Chatzois Amiti and Chatzois Amtzoi. Uh, Chatzois Amiti is real Chatzois. As you know, Chatzois shifts a little bit every single week. It's not the same thing every day. Uh, today's Chatzois will not be the same as tomorrow's Chatzois. It's off by a couple minutes. But if you were to take an average, you would find that if you are exactly in a, it- The average Chatzois should be twelve. It should always be twelve. Uh, not necessarily where you live. I'll explain that in a second. But the average Chatzois should be twelve, and it moves around that average, twelve O one, twelve

17:15 O two, twelve twenty, eleven forty, uh, eleven forty-five, but there's an average in the middle. So the question is, are we counting seven hours from average Chatzois? Are we counting several hours from technical Chatzois? We have many letters from the Rebbe about this. They're all printed in Shulchan Aruch. I'm gonna bring you, uh, two letters here, plus a smidgen of Likutei Sichos in order to explain exactly what we hold. This is from Igros Kodesh. This is from Chelek Yod Beis. The page is Reish Chof Vav, and the Rebbe writes, six to seven before Shabbos. That which you write about being careful not to make Kiddush between six to seven on Friday. First of all, we mean sixty min-- sixty second, uh, sixty, excuse me, sixty minutes hours. That is normal hours, not Shas Zmanios. This is not the special hours, the change in length. You can use a normal clock. So first of all, this does not have to be complicated. It's not gonna be weird times. It's just gonna be one weird time because the minutes at least are gonna line up. Because the way Mazal is, the way the constellations travel in the sky, according to Maimonides, does not actually change between the summer and the winter. When it comes to midnight or midday, that actually doesn't change in a longitude-- in a latitudinal way. When you go higher up to near the North Pole, when you go all the way to the South Pole, no matter where you are, north to south,

18:23 midnight doesn't change. Midnight changes when you go east to west a little bit, but that's just because of time zones. The actual time of midnight doesn't change in the top and the bottom of the globe. Therefore, we mean six whole hours, that is count six-- sixty minutes, six times after Chatzois. The Rebbe does need to clarify this 'cause we could have gotten stuck on some real sticky Shas Zmanios business, where we had to figure out exactly how many, what exactly an hour is, what exactly a minute is. The Rebbe says, forget that. When we're trying to make this calculation, step one, make sure you are counting six full hours of sixty minutes from mid, from midday. The question is when, when, when midday is. We need this next letter. When is midday? Igros Kodesh Chelek Yod Gimel, page Chaf Vav Kuf, kaf, excuse me. Those who are careful notice the Rebbe's . Once again, the Rebbe recognizes this is a . Uh, are important, but it's also important to know the difference. those who are careful based on the Alter Rebbe not to be make Kiddush. They ask how to make the calculation. they don't understand my answer. says the Rebbe, "I don't know why they, I don't know why they don't understand my answer." Every mazel has a sixty-minute supremacy. This is the thing that we saw all the way back in the Gemara, all the way back in Rashi. The Rashi said that when Hashem first made the world, he gave every mazel

19:35 an hour. That's not . That's a literal hour. Every mazel gets an hour. Rashi and Shabbos, the, the Rebbe is to that Rashi that we read. Rashi explains exactly how that order works. Therefore, it would be... Excuse me. Therefore, everything will happen in the seventh hour, that is six to seven PM. using regular hours. As the Alter Rebbe himself says, . And how do you find chatzos? You look exactly between neitz and shkiya. Now, that is problematic. If, if chatzos is exactly between neitz and shkiya, you know neitz, which is sunrise, and shkiya, which is sunset, you know they change. Since they change, that would mean this, this letter sounds like what the Rebbe is saying is to do option number two, to take the seventh hour after technical chatzos, which would mean that every week we would, we would, we would have a slightly different time that we can't make Kiddush. However, in Likutei Sichos, which of course is edited by the Rebbe, the Rebbe does clarify that that's not what he means. I brought you a very small piece of it. The whole Sicha can be found in page five seventy-six, where the Rebbe says . People would have thought you have to choose, you have to find real chatzos, which is gonna change every single day, and you're going to calculate six hours after that. That's easy to understand when the cham is first. But the kavana, based on what I've seen the minag be, says the Rebbe. I don't mean the

20:56 minag, the minag is what people do. The, the Rebbe's really not saying what's right and wrong here. The Rebbe's saying you would have thought from the lashon that we would have to change the time every week, but that's simply not what is done. So the kavana, based on what I've seen people do, and this is the Rebbe bringing this in an edited Sicha, is is to use average midday. So that would mean that average midday is twelve o'clock, and that would mean six to seven PM. Now, why am I telling you, given that we just said that the Rebbe's final bottom line is that this is seven hours or six hours, however you wanna use that number, after, uh, average, after the average of chatzos, which is twelve o'clock. Why am I telling you that all Chabad Rabbonim pretty much will tell you that it's between five fifty-six and six fifty-six in New York and not from six to seven PM? And the answer is actually a secular answer. It requires some secular knowledge. Um, it is exactly twelve o'clock in Philadelphia, but it's not exactly twelve o'clock in New York, and that's not because we are in a different place. It's because of a law that was passed in eighteen eighty-three. So I wrote this all in English here, uh, so you can read it yourselves. What it says here, uh, in summary is that, uh, before eighteen eighty-three, we used to have a time zone in every city. And so New York would

21:56 be, it would be twelve oh four in New York when it was twelve o'clock in Philadelphia, and it would be, uh, eleven fifty-four in Baltimore. It would be twelve sixteen in Boston, uh, whenever it was twelve in Philadelphia, based on the granular differences in their latitudinal line, how far away they were from i-- from, from the main lines, from, from the fifteenth of every one of the latitudinal lines. Um, that was a nightmare when trains and planes started hitting the scene. I guess trains were the real problem in eighteen eighty-three. You would have had, uh, you would have had accidents happening. I mean, you needed things to run on time. So they made a rule that they were going to draw. America decided to draw lines through specific cities and say, "This city is now the actual time, and everybody else has to change their clocks to line up with that time to make an Eastern Time zone." So everything in the Eastern Time zone ended up giving into Philadelphia. So Philadelphia became, Philadelphia's twelve o'clock stuck, and New York took away four minutes from its actual time. So New York set their clocks back four minutes. Um, that means that right now we are actually living, the clock, when you look at the clock right now and it says one oh two PM, that's actually off by four minutes from reality. Reality is that New York has set its clocks back four minutes in order to conform to the rest of the Eastern Time

22:58 zone. Because of that, the real twelve o'clock is actually four minutes off. So that's why it's not that we're using . It's not that you have to adjust the time every week. It's just that based on where we are, had eighteen eighty-three never happened, and had we never passed these laws, uh, it would have been six to seven. But since we passed these laws, our clocks are all off by four minutes. Technically, every clock in New York is off by four minutes relative to the Eastern Time zone, and therefore, our time that we don't make Kiddush is actually five fifty-six to six fifty-six because we changed our clocks. But it's only because we changed our clocks. It's not because of any, anything that's difficult to understand in Halakha. Al pi Halakha, the din is it should be six to seven. The problem is our clocks are intentionally turned four minutes off as of the year eighteen eighty-three. So, uh- Is that something, is that something the Rebbe clarified, or is that something the Rabbonim that today actually- The Rabbonim clar-- No, no, the Rabbonim. The Rebbe didn't clarify this. The Rebbe clarifies that it should be six to seven straight. However, as many Rabbonim have now clarified, a six to seven straight only applies in Philadelphia. In New York, six to seven straight is actually off by four minutes. Because of, uh, because of... Look, if I change, if we all decide in Pomona we're all gonna set our clocks ahead by a minute, we

23:57 know that al pi Halakha we're not gonna be able to keep Shabbos at that time. We're gonna have to change when we pre-- when we keep Shabbos. The fact is that America moved the clocks. Um, that, that, so that's artificial. Uh, the truth is that average midday is twelve, and that means that the average, that the problem time for Mars is six to seven. And the fact that we changed our clocks by four minutes means that now we have to keep that in mind in the backs of our heads. But, uh, that's, that's act-- It's poshut. It's poshut that that's the din, um, because, because our clocks have been turned. It's not the truth of the time. Uh, you can actually figure out exactly how much you have to change all by yourself if you count longitudinal lines. Um, longitudinal lines, the vertical ones. If you count them, you can figure out exactly where the real twelve o'clock is on your clocks. There's actually another way to do it too. There's like three dates in the calendar where real, uh, where, where real chatzos will correspond exactly with, um, with average chatzos, and you can pull the date from there. But in any event, um, this, uh, there's a website that did this, uh, under Rabbi Raskin, where you can go to like, uh, I forget what they call it. There's some websites, easy to find, where you can calculate where you live, exactly what your twelve o'clock is. It doesn't change from week to

24:57 week. The only time it will change is by daylight savings time because when you put the clocks forward and put the clocks backward, you can change it by a whole hour. And the reason why is 'cause once again, this is artificial. This isn't because of the truth of what midday is. It's because somebody legally somewhere decided to change the time. I think in like Tennessee, they don't change the clocks. They won't have to change their time. So right now it is from fifty-six to six fifty-six, and when the clocks change, it will change by exactly an hour, but we'll always be exactly four minutes off from the actual six to seven just because we're in New York, and that's a change that New York made. Um, we have five minutes left. I'd like to spend those last five minutes on some of the problems that come up, um, 'cause I think literally the Zoom is gonna shut out on us. Uh, um, honestly, i-it might make more sense to break, to break this into two shiurim and do it next time. Um, yeah, let's break it into two shiurim and do it next time. The thing that we wanna cover also is, uh, what we do when this runs up against our, uh, our priorities and the things that matter to us and the people who matter to us. Uh, the Rebbe has a letter about what to do when there are guests in your house. Should you be strict about this, or should you

25:53 be more lenient when there are guests around? What about the Shalom Bayis problem that kicked off the entire year? Should we fight with our wives about this? How much should you fight your, with your wife about this? Um, obviously never fight with your wife, but, uh, you know what I mean. Uh, what to do with small children. Should small children wait? Should small children be fed early? Uh, should they be taught to keep them in chugim? These are things that are addressed in various letters from the Rebbe and from various rabbonim, and, uh, I think we're gonna do it next time. So this is part one then. Part one, we did the halakhic basis, we clarified the times, and, uh, we talked about the fact that we're dealing with a minhag and w-within this minhag, the minhag as it's finally understood through looking at the Rebbe's letters and sichas, I think it's very clear and at this point, essentially universal, that we're dealing with the seventh hour after average chatzet, and that average chatzet where we live is four minutes off from Philadelphia. So, uh, we're, we're, we-we're going to be careful between five fifty-six and six fifty-six. Uh, now we're starting part two. In part two, we wanna talk about the various heterim that are available, uh, and non-heterim. Heterim people want to use to get out of this minhag or get around this minhag. We're gonna talk about what works, about what doesn't work, and how to use it in our homes and

26:51 in our lives. But before we do the stuff I have on the page, I wanted to say something about white wine and challah. Uh, something that comes up often. I have no sources on the page for whether you can, uh, I have no sources on our page for whether you can make kiddush during six-- between six and seven on white wine instead of red wine or on challah instead of wine. And the reason why I have no sources on the page is because no sources exist. As far as I can tell, there's no source for this minhag. There is a, a one pesek somewhere who one time suggested challah as a possible substitute, but it's not meskabim. Uh, the idea that you might have heard that is very popular rumor, that somehow it makes the minhag better or different if it's on white wine or challah is, uh, is, is as far as I can tell made up. Uh, and the reason why is because the minhag has nothing to do with kiddush. The minhag has nothing to do-- Excuse me. The minhag has nothing to do with wine. The minhag is entirely tied to kiddush. If you look back in Shulchan Aruch, you look back in the Maggid of Ram, in the Al terebah, no one ever says you can't drink wine, uh, or you can't make kiddush on wine during this period of time. The problem seems to be that these malachim are able to, uh, these malachim, these planets are able to

27:52 get involved with us if we make kiddush, specifically the words of kiddush, during six and seven PM. So it has nothing to do with the wine color. It probably has nothing to do with the wi-- with the kiddush material. Um, it would be-- the same problem would apply if you made kiddush on challah. The same problem probably would apply if you made kiddush on white wine. Uh, it's noteworthy based on this that you don't really have to be careful to drink the wine before six o'clock because there's no problem with drinking red wine between six and seven. So I, I had that happen at my Shabbos table this week. My wife asked this question, is that, uh, is that I made kiddush at like six fifty-five. Like we were-- or five fifty-five, excuse me. We were, uh, we were close right before the time that, uh, that would've been a problem according to mazal Madim. So we made kiddush like a minute before that, and then, uh, by the time I was done handing out the wine to all the kids who complained that they didn't get enough wine or want more wine or want grape juice, by the time the kids got it, they would've been drinking well into the sixth hour. My wife said, "Is that a problem?" I said, "Absolutely not. The whole problem is the kiddush, not the drinking the wine. They heard kiddush. It's over." Uh, another question that we can answer with this is one that I've heard asked

28:49 before at fabrangens and such. People ask why we don't worry about drinking wine on, on other days of the week when mazal Madim is dominant. Why don't we worry about drinking wine during the meal? You know, after I make kiddush, why, why don't I worry about drinking wine in the middle of my soda if I'm between six and seven? And the answer once again is, is because this has nothing to do with wine and everything to do with kiddush. Okay. That having been said, let's look at, uh, let's look at what we're actually covering today, which is a mixture of letters and pisque dinim regarding the leniencies we can use to get around the six to seven, uh, the six to seven issue, the six to seven minute. Uh, you're gonna see in these letters from the Rebbe two overall re-reasons to be lenient. Two reasons you could use to be lenient about making, uh, kiddush between six and seven. One of them is Shem mitzva lo yadua ra. One of them is that a person who keeps mitzvahs will not know evil. It's a pasuk, and, uh, we generally hold that if somebody's in the middle of doing a mitzvah, they can't be harmed by anything, much less by mazal Madim. Now, there is a mitzvah of making kiddush. There's, uh, mitzvahs involved in the Shabbos soda. Lecheira, you could get around the entire problem by saying, "I'm doing a mitzvah. Nothing can hurt me when I'm in the middle of doing a mitzvah."

29:50 There's another excuse we're gonna see, which is Shem psaim. Shem psaim is a slightly insulting excuse that we use quite often, which means that God protects simpletons. Simple people, people who aren't too bright, God takes care of them. When people in general aren't careful about something, God protects the people who aren't smart enough to know that they should be careful. So we have these two ideas. The Rebbe's gonna use both of them in explaining some leniencies for the, uh, for making kiddush between six and seven. And most of these len-leniencies appear in a series of letters the Rebbe wrote about the minhag in Eretz Yisrael. Apparently, there was a long-standing minhag in Er-in Eretz Yisrael not to be careful about this. The minhag was to be careful in America, but not in Eretz Yisrael. In the earliest letters that we have from the Rebbe about this, the Rebbe is shocked that this minhag exists and isn't sure it's reliable. So we have a letter from Igros Kodesh of Chelek Yod Beis. You'll find it on page two twenty-six. It's on your screen. The Rebbe writes, "Vamatik kasem she ein cheshbon lezeh be'eretz hakodesh diban havesiken." In that you-- what you write to me, that we are not worried, that, that, that we don't worry about n-not making kiddush between six and seven in Eretz Yisrael. "Vetach yediya, yediya, taamim shel eilu she ein cheshbon lezeh be'eretz hakodesh diban havesiken ve bimeheim bar samcha." Says, "Certainly you will let me know the reasons of the people

30:55 who are not worried about this, and you'll let me know whether they are reliable people." So the Rebbe says, uh, let-- "Look, if you have some source I'm not aware of, please let me know, but I'm not aware of any reason why in Eretz Yisrael they wouldn't worry about this. Eretz Yisrael is no different than anywhere else when it comes to the concerns of mazal Madim." So the Rebbe, first of all, sounds surprised that this minhag exists and sounds like he would like to hear some sources and whether these sources are reliable We have another letter. This is from . This was from a year later. The page for that is . These letters are in a slightly different format on your screen because they're taken directly from which I would like to make a pitch for again. In certain areas like this when we're dealing with Halakha, the Rebbe's letters on Halakha, there is no better collation than, uh, than . Okay. That which you wrote to me, says the Rebbe, that they're not careful about not making kiddush between six and seven in Eretz Yisrael. If this is in fact a , notice the Rebbe's . He's not sure it is. He says, "If this is in fact the established custom," and he's not sure that it is, the Rebbe says, "If that's the case, I can think of the reason why they didn't accept this custom in the first place." First of all, in the it says that only some people are

32:05 careful people should be making kiddush immediately. We talked about this last time. Even though sometimes the two times do intersect, sometimes they don't. The reason why some people didn't take on this people did not take on this , says the Rebbe, because they are assuming that that somebody who keeps mitzvahs will not know any sort of evil thing, that mitzvahs protect us. So the Rebbe makes a on those in Eretz Yisrael who are not careful about this , saying that they presumably are doing it in order to keep the mitzvah of kiddush, specifically in order to do the mitzvah of making kiddush immediately when they come home from shul. And since that is a special mitzvah to make kiddush immediately when you come home from shul, you can make the argument that that mitzvah protects them, and it's impossible to do both of those things at the same time. You can't-- When you come home from shul, if you come home from shul exactly at six o'clock, you now have, you now have a choice. You're going to do the mitzvah of making kiddush immediately, or are you going to wait an hour? So the Rebbe says they might be saying to themselves that I'm going to choose the mitzvah of making kiddush immediately, and since I'm doing a mitzvah, that's going to put me right into Mazal Madim's face. I'm gonna be right under Mars, and I don't have to worry about that because when a person is doing a mitzvah and they have

33:12 no other choice but to encounter a Mazal that wouldn't be good for them, they're protected from that Mazal. This is the Rebbe's . This is not the Rebbe giving a hat there. But this is the Rebbe's on what is happening in Eretz Yisrael, is maybe they're so careful about making kiddush as soon as they come home that they end up, uh, they end up relying on the mitzvah to protect them from the issue of Mazal Madim. We have one more letter to look at. This is from and it's, uh, in I think they ult-- I think they ultimately after the printing of this put it in a regular volume of but the Rebbe says this, This is the end of a letter. I'm only showing you the last line of it 'cause it's all we need for this purpose. Uh, this is something that is, uh, when it comes to all things that people, that people stomp on with their heels, when it comes to all things that people generally don't take seriously, including this , we can say that in any place where the is not active, that Hashem protects fools, Hashem protects simple people. So we see here the two major that the, that we have to get out of the six and seven are sort of being, uh, bandied around by the Rebbe. The Rebbe's introducing the idea that maybe in Eretz Yisrael they don't have to keep it because mitzvahs protect them. Maybe in Eretz Yisrael they don't have to keep

34:16 it because they are simpletons and and God protects simple people. But you certainly don't see the Rebbe happy with the fact that they're not keeping it. I went and looked among Chabad poskim. As far as I can tell, uh, all Chabad poskim say that this should be kept in Eretz Yisrael the same way it's kept in America. There might be a couple who don't, but that's certainly the majority position. So as a bottom line, in Eretz Yisrael, the minag would not be any different than it is in America, and you can see the Rebbe's discomfort with the idea that there might be a difference in Eretz Yisrael over this minag. The Rebbe does work with it, but he's clearly is uncomfortable with it. And probably based on that, Chabad Rabbonim generally say that in Eretz Yisrael you should be careful. So now let's talk about what to do with guests, what to do with Shalom Bayis, what to do with small children. We're gonna try to end on time. I think we will, but if we go over five minutes, please forgive me. Talk about guests first because we have straight-up letters about this from the Rebbe. There's something called Likutei Mahari"ach. The Mahari"ach died in, uh, in the nineteen twenties. So a, uh, an Acharon, but not, not, not a very recent Acharon. He is the source for the idea that we might be able to be lenient when it comes to guests. He writes, uh, I pulled this out of someone else's so

35:15 it's not his exact words, and it's very hard to find Likutei Mahari"ach. But he says that we can be matter when it comes for Torah mitzvah and hachnasas orchim is a mitzvah. So, uh, having guests in your home is a mitzvah, and in order to not inconvenience the guests, he says you can make kiddush between six and seven in order to protect the mitzvah of hachnasas orchim. And, uh, he says there that this only applies to poor, uh, to poor guests, guests who are impoverished. But at the same time, a lot of other poskim have brought this brought this into their own shul as to say that when it comes to guests, we can be lenient because there is a mitzvah of hachnasas orchim. And as we saw earlier, first of all, if we're doing a mitzvah, we don't have to worry about Mazal if we're in the middle of doing a mitzvah. There is a mitzvah of hachnasas orchim. The mitzvah of hachnasas orchim might get in the way of our minag to keep six to seven, and if it's a mitzvah versus a minag, you know who wins. The problem with this is that we have a letter from the Rebbe that very explicitly says the opposite, so we have no choice but to pass him like the Rebbe. The Rebbe does not believe by any means that we should, uh, that we should push off this minag when we have guests. Uh, so the Rebbe writes in this letter, this letter is--

36:17 Oh, no, I don't have the source. It's in Igros somewhere. You'll find it in . It says Sham there, and I don't remember what letter was before. Okay. says the Rebbe. In answer to your question, that you have a guest. In answer to your question, that you have a guest and you wanna make kiddush, is certainly . And the reasoning that had been sent to the Rebbe was, "Can't I make kiddush between six and seven w- when I have guests because guests are , having guests is , and, uh, and I'll be protected by the mitzvah, uh, from any Mazal, and this is a minag?" The Rebbe writes back No. Can't do it. Doesn't work. Let's talk about your guest. What mitzvah is a guest doing? So a guest comes to your house. You're doing a big mitzvah. You have a guest. What mitzvah is the guest doing? No mitzvah at all. So what protection does the guest have from Mars? And the answer is none at all. So therefore, we don't have any place for the, for, for the protection, for the guarantee of some-somebody keeping a mitzvah not encountering any evil. We have a problem, is that you might be safe, but your guest is not gonna be safe. And then the Rebbe adds on the end, . And therefore, since your guest isn't safe, you're also not safe. So this is easy to understand. There's a footnote here that says from the just to understand this letter, which is without the of

37:35 the Rebbe is a little difficult to unpack. I wanna read this footnote. Says . What's the whole reason I'm rushing Kiddush? It's for my, uh, and putting it between six and seven. It's for my guest. since doing that will hurt my guest . What kind of mitzvah is it to welcome guests into your home and hurt them? So if we're worried about this causing a negative effect on somebody, making Kiddush between six and seven, if we say it's dangerous and it can hurt somebody, then we know that, uh, that since the guest is not doing a mitzvah, he's not protected, so he's gonna get hurt. And so now why am I doing Kiddush between six and seven? To hurt the guest. Is that a mitzvah? No. So I'm not protected either. You understand this? So it's a subtle point, but it's an interesting one. Says that when I make Kiddush between six and seven to help my guest, I'm hurting my guest because my guest doesn't have a mitzvah to shield him. And since I'm hurting my guest, I'm not doing a mitzvah either, 'cause a mitzvah of is not hurting your guests. So the Rebbe says you absolutely cannot make this argument for a guest. I'm gonna put a footnote on this and say we're gonna get back to this. There are situations where you definitely can make Kiddush between six and seven for a guest, but not this one. Not because you wanna make things more convenient for your guests. Uh, but first,

38:43 in order to understand when we can use that exception, we need to look at Shalom Bayis. When it comes to Shalom Bayis, we don't have anything explicit from the Rebbe, but we do have a tshuva from Rav Brian. Why do I say a tshuva from Rav Brian? Well, if you go on asktherav.com, you will find his quick English answers to questions that are asked. But if you look below those English answers, sometimes he will write like six pages, uh, explaining his psak that he wrote in one sentence. And these are, for all intents and purposes, shailas and tshuvas, and they're, they're, they're very well-written. They're worth reading. So next time you check Ask The Rav, scroll down and, uh, and see what he writes in Hebrew. So Rav Brian writes about Shalom Bayis regarding Kiddush between six and seven. Says when it comes to Shalom Bayis, Shalom Bayis Adam. Obviously, the most important thing is Shalom Bayis. Why? Because Shalom Bayis is a de-rabbisa, and this is a minhag. And if it's a minhag versus de-rabbisa, Shalom Bayis is going to win. We don't have to worry about any danger that will come from making Kiddush between six and seven in order to maintain Shalom Bayis and not have your wife and kids angry at you. Because there is a rule that mitzvah, somebody doing a mitzvah is protected from problems. What Rav Brian explains here is something that I kind of said outside, which is the rule of Shem and Mitzvah, that when I'm

39:42 in the middle of a mitzvah, I'm protected from any negative effects, only applies when you can't have both at the same time. So I can't have it. If, if, if I, if I'm in a family where the family is going to argue if I make Kiddush between six and seven, excuse me, if I don't make Kiddush between six and seven, then I have a choice. I can either do the dangerous thing or the de-rabbisa, but I can't have both. I can't have Shalom Bayis and my minhag. If I can't have both Shalom Bayis and my minhag, then I can't have-- Then what I'm also saying is I can't have both the de-rabbisa and the minhag. If I can't have the de-rabbisa and the minhag, choose the de-rabbisa. But in a lot of cases, that's not the way it comes out. In a lot of cases, I have a choice, and in a lot of cases, I can do both the de-rabbisa and the minhag if I'm a little bit creative. So says Rav Brian, The reason why in general we don't say that the mitzvah of Kiddush protects us from Mazal Madim is because we can keep the mitzvah of Kiddush and also keep the minhag. How? By making Kiddush earlier and making Kiddush later. But in this case, but when there's a concern about Shalom Bayis, I can't do both at the same time. I have to choose, and if I have to choose, I'm going to choose the mitzvah de-rabbisa. However, he says

40:45 down here, But don't rely on this latikhila and try to avoid it however possible. What does that mean practically? Practically, it means we should be discussing with our wives, we should be discussing with our children, and with anybody else in our house who maybe doesn't want Shalom if, uh, if we, if we, if we keep this minhag, the importance of the minhag. The minhag, the minhage Chabad, the thing that keeps us together, that keeps us strong throughout the generations, that there's a real basis to this to maybe have them listen to Shir number one, where we explain that there really is a-- That this is not a new minhag. This goes all the way back to the Gemara concern about Mazal Madim, that it's in the Shulchan Aruch. We should do whatever we can to explain to our families, uh, that, that it's important not to make Kiddush between six and seven. If, however, that fails, and the final decision is, am I gonna keep the mitzvah de-rabbisa of Shalom Bayis, or am I going to keep the minhag Yishaschaaran of not making Kiddush under Mazal Madim, the de-rabbisa obviously wins. And not only does the de-rabbisa win in that case, in that case, since the de-rabbisa would be impossible with the minhag, we're protected from the negative impacts of the minhag by the de-rabbisa. So that's the deal by Shalom Bayis. To summarize Shalom Bayis in a sentence, convince your families not to make Kiddush between six and seven. If you really can't convince

41:47 them, obviously, the choice is Shalom Bayis over the minhag. But that is only if you can't convince them otherwise. One more note. What about small children? Children have a lot of trouble waiting, especially if you're gonna keep them up late. You're gonna have them wait until, uh, until after seven to make Kiddush. Maybe it's past their bedtime. Maybe they'll be hungry. It is important to note that it is, uh, it is forbidden to not feed the kids before Kiddush. It might be a mitzvah to feed the kids before Kiddush. We should specifically be feeding our children before Kiddush. This is in the Al Tenebe Shulchan Aruch. You have the Shulchan Aruch two sixty-nine three. The Al Tenebe says the following. It is motzer to feed a child food before Kiddush. Generally speaking, we're not allowed to eat before Kiddush. But a child, it is motzer to give them food at-- before the night Kiddush and food before the day Kiddush. And it's asur to make them wait. It's asur to make them suffer. If the kid says, "I'm hungry," it's asur to say to a child who's under bar mitzvah, "Hey, uh, you have to wait till Kiddush." If they're hungry, you have to feed them. Because generally speaking, parents have a rule that they're-- that we are not allowed to feed children forbidden foods, but this only applies to foods that are intrinsically forbidden. But when the food is motzer, but it happens to be a time where the food is asur. So it's

42:58 food that is motzer, but I can't eat it right now because it's the time of Kiddush. And then it's motzer to give it to a child. As a matter of fact, we give kosher food to children on Yom Kippur for that same reason. Even a child who is not going to be in a sakana if he fasts, we feed children, uh, kosher food as long as they are allowed to have it, even if it's in a time when generally speaking, other people aren't allowed to have it. Point here is that not only is it-- not only are you allowed to feed children before Kiddush, uh, it might be asur. It might be asur not to feed them before Kiddush So if the issue in your family is not your wife, or if you're a wife listening, if the issue in the family is not your husband, if the issue isn't the adults, but the issue is the children, that the children will complain if they have to wait until after seven o'clock to hear Kiddush, then there's a very simple answer, and that answer is to feed them. Not just motza to feed them, probably obligated to feed them. So feed the kids before Kiddush. Absolutely feed the kids before Kiddush. Not only is that not a halakhic problem, it is a possible chir. So let's summarize everything we talked about today and all of the, uh, possible heterim and the ways that we deal with different situations when it comes to Kiddush between six

43:57 and seven. First of all, we said that if you are going to be lenient about Kiddush between six and seven, it's going to be for one of two reasons. It's either going to be because you believe that when you're doing the mitzvah of Kiddush or the mitzvah of Shalom Bayis or some particular mitzvah, that you're not damaged by anything when you're doing that mitzvah. That's one reason. And the other one is Shamar Tzayon, that we believe that simple people who don't care about things like this generally are not harmed by them, that simple people are not harmed by things God protects them. Uh, I will note that the reason the Arukh HaShulchan gives that we don't do it because, because ein ma'asal Yisrael is something that the Rebbe is daye ha'mishtadea daym. The Rebbe really does not like that answer. He doesn't quote the Arukh HaShulchan, but he pushes away that answer whenever people mention it in letters by saying that clearly the Gemara itself is concerned about ma'asal madim and people living in even in Eretz Yisrael, uh, in, in Babel, people in the Gemara are concerned about, about ma'asal madim. So there's no reason to say we shouldn't be concerned, and they were concerned. That's a, that's a strange argument from the Arukh HaShulchan and a little difficult to understand in the first place. Uh, in Eretz Yisrael, we said most Chabad poskim say that, that we should keep the same rules, uh, six to seven, no Kiddush. The Rebbe's clearly not happy

44:56 with, uh, not happy with those who don't. He offers justifications, but they're definitely shaky justifications. The Rebbe is generally not happy with people who aren't keeping this minhag in Eretz Yisrael. When it comes to guests, we said there's, uh, room for leniency for some people. There's the Kuntres HaMa'arech, but that leniency is not for us. We have the Rebbe saying to be strict, uh, because you put your guest in danger. When you put your guest in danger, you're not doing a mitzvah anymore. The thing I wanted to point out at the end was that let's say that we have a guest who will leave and not be our guest if we don't make Kiddush between six and seven. Now we're back in the Shalom Bayis territory. Remember, the rule was, as we learned from Rav Ryan, regarding Shalom Bayis and regarding any daraysa that's up against this minhag, that if the two are impossible together, we choose the daraysa. There's a mitzvah daraysa of hachnasat orchim, and if that mitzvah daraysa will be impossible if I don't make Kiddush between six and seven, then obviously I'm gonna choose the daraysa. So if you are running a Chabad house or you have people coming to your house, you have guests who you wanna, uh, you wanna welcome in to do the mitzvah of hach- of hachnasat orchim, and they literally won't come or literally will leave if you are not making Kiddush between six and seven, then that's very clear. That's a daraysa versus a minhag,

45:54 and we choose the daraysa. But what would be more-- what would be better is to explain to them the importance of not making Kiddush between six and seven or otherwise structure the day so that the problem doesn't arise in the first place. This same principle applies, of course, to Shalom Bayis. Uh, Shalom Bayis being a mitzvah daraysa, we should try to explain or work around it in a way that will make it possible to have both Shalom Bayis and not Kiddush between six and seven. If that's not possible, the daraysa is gonna beat the minhag because-- a- and because the daraysa beats the minhag, you'll have the additional protection of somebody keeping a mitzvah being protected from negative outcomes. When it came to small children, we said feed them. Not just feed them because it's motza, but feed them possibly because it is obligatory and maybe also not to feed them. Okay. Thank you all very much.