המחול בכרמים

00:01 This is Icarus, and, uh, we are continuing our Tu B'Av theme a little bit. Yesterday, we talked about how the main theme of, uh, according to the Rebbe, is that last line of the Gemara that we learned together, that . That, uh, when the-- at this day, the nights start getting longer, the days start getting shorter. And so Tu B'Av is kind of a Rosh Hashanah then for, uh, diligence and Torah study, mitzvas, Hiddan mitzvas, Tzedakah, Keser Torah, Mashiach, all of these things we talked about yesterday. That's definitely the Rebbe's main theme of . He pushes it as the and, uh, that's all there is to say about it. However, a lot of us brought up yesterday that, uh, that it-- we seemed as though we were missing something. We learned the Gemara of all the things that happened on the fifteenth of Av. We didn't learn the Gemara and the Mishnah together about the girls dancing in the fields. And the Rebbe does use the girls dancing in the fields for various purposes. Uh, we're gonna look at several letters that discuss that today. First among them is a letter from our year, tav shin lamed gimel, which is actually the letter that the Rebbe wrote. Look at the, uh, look at the dateline on that. The date is the day after Tu B'Av. That's today. It's the day after Tu B'Av. So this is a letter that is for today, on today, exactly fifty years ago. We're gonna learn that. But first, I

01:10 wanna do these Mishnayot and, uh, this Mishnah and this Gemara that are the other part of Tu B'Av, which what the Rebbe is gonna be riffing off of today in his various letters. It's probably not respectful to say the Rebbe is riffing off of something. Just came to me. Here is a Mishnah. This is a Mishnah. It's Mishnah four eight in Masechet Ta'anit. It's on your screen. So far sounds familiar, right? There was no great Yom Tov for the Jewish people quite like the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur. What happened on those days? They would go out with borrowed white garments. The girl-- the girls, the Jewish girls, here it says, "The girls of Yerushalayim," would go out with white garments that they borrowed. They would borrow the garments so they wouldn't embarrass somebody who didn't have any of their own nice clothes. But they had to tevil everything because you never know what, uh, you never know whether an or whether somebody inappropriate touched the, uh, touched the garments. They teveled all the garments. They would go out, and they would dance in the vineyards. What exactly would they say? They would say, "Bachar," young man, raise your eyes and look. What are you gonna pick? Don't choose beauty. Don't look at beauty. Focus on focus on family. False is-- Grace is false, and beauty is, uh, beauty is not. A woman who fears God, that's the person worth praising 'cause really is the only thing you should be looking for. There's a

02:40 bunch of other pesukim here that we don't necessarily have to read right now, but, uh, one that will be important for us is that we quote . And we have So we have an idea of Matan Torah, Beit HaMikdash. These are things the Rebbe is going to mention in his letter, so I'm pointing them out to you now in the Mishnah. The Gemara is the of Masechet Ta'anit. And because Masechet Ta'anit is re-- relatively short masechta, you've probably heard this before. It just breaks down what the girls were saying into categories, which makes it a lot more entertaining. What exactly happened? So you had to, you had to borrow from somebody who was roughly at your station. So a princess would borrow from the daughter of the . The she would borrow from the the assistant . She would borrow from the daughter of the and the daughter of the would borrow from a regular . And everybody else would just borrow from each other just so that nobody would be embarrassed. Anyway, the girls come out, they make sure that they tevel all of their garments, and then they go out to dance. Even if they've been in a chest the entire time, they were very careful, even if they were wrapped up, to have teveled them. The point is, the girls went out and danced in the vineyards. And the Talmud says, "Lest you might have thought." I actually saw some people answer this way, the question we asked yesterday. Yesterday, some people

04:05 asked, uh, "Isn't this not tznius?" And it's-- on the surface, it's not. Um, some people had wanted to answer. When I was looking for answers to this, I saw people answering that maybe the boys weren't there. I don't know where they get that from. It says here, that single guys would go there to show up. And the girls are talking to the guys, so clearly they're there. The ones who had good they would say, "Bachar." They would say, "Look at ." That was just the thing the girls with good would say. What would the pretty ones say? They wouldn't say that. They would say, they would say, "Look at beauty." Because what's the point in marrying a woman if not to find a beautiful wife? What would the ones who had good family say? You should look at family. Because the whole point of finding a wife and getting married is to make good children. So basically, they would promote the thing that they had. If they had good family, they'd promote their family and say, "Don't look at beauty." If they had beauty, they would promote their beauty and say, "Not look at family." What would the real ugly ones say? The ones who had nothing else going for them would say, "You should marry the marry just for the sake of Heaven." As long as you promise to put gold on them-- on us afterwards to make us pretty. That's the, uh, that's the full Gemara with the Mishnah. That's the story. Okay.

05:17 Um, in response to the question that some people asked yesterday, I did want to-- I threw this in the chat, but just so it's also on the share. There's a Ritva and Bav basra who gives an answer to how this was not a, uh, tznius problem, a yetzer hara problem. We have a bunch of young girls dancing in front of a bunch of young guys. This seems to be something that'll be a problem for yetzer hara. The Ritva and Bav basra here on two twelve A says the following, they went out in white garments. They would wear white for a reason. Why wear white? You ever wonder about that part of the story? Why are they putting on white clothes of all things? The answer is that this was supposed to signify that the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, had left them and that they were completely free of sin. As it says in the pasuk, at all times, your garments should be white, and that is, of course, figurative for not having a yetzer hara. And it says in the Midrash that this is why it's a good idea to wear white on Yom Kippur. So in fact, our kippah on Yom Kippur come from the girls dancing in the fields. There's other answers to this. Some people say the kippah is supposed to be a shroud, um, to remind us of the day of death. But, uh, one of the answers is the girls would dance in white to show they were free

06:21 of sin on Yom Kippur and on Tu B'Av. And so we also on Yom Kippur wear a white kippah. Why I didn't have to wear a kippah on, uh, yesterday on Tu B'Av. This is how the girls were able to say, "Bachar, look at me," even though that's not tznius. 'Cause at that point, they were not worried about the yetzer hara. So obviously, other answers exist, but I wanted to give you one that we discussed somewhat yesterday. Okay. The Rebbe uses this story in our letter, which is from the year Tav Shin Lamed Gimel. It's on your screen now. The letter is Yud Yud Tav Ayin Dalet. And the Rebbe writes, Bracha uShalom. He's writing to women. G-d should do everything that you need, take care of all the desires of your heart for good. We're coming from a day-- So the Rebbe's writing this the day after the fifteenth of Av, and he says, "We're coming off of a day that according to Chazal is all about women, not about men." It's about women. Specifically when it comes to preparing for a family life, and the way they're going to run their homes. Why does the Rebbe say this? as the, as the Chacham say in their Mishnah. How was Tu B'Av celebrated in ancient times? The Jewish women, these w-women of Israel, maybe of Yerushalayim, there's two Gersais, would go out and dance in the vineyards and they would say, So what happened on Chamishas B'Av when you take the story out of

07:44 it? There's sort of a sentence here, which is that the girls would go out in public and what would they scream to everybody? "A woman who fears God is what matters." So th-th- you're going to see that this is the way the Rebbe understands this entire story as a message for modern women, is that Tu B'Av is a day when we remind women that it is their responsibility to walk out into the street, walk out into the vineyard, and tell everybody that Yiras Hashem matters more than everybody else. With everything in the Torah, everything in the Torah, including Mishnayos and Gemara, has a a lesson for every single Jewish woman in every generation. And this includes already married women and women who are mothers of children, not just single women who would be dancing in the vineyards. To work very hard on educating themselves and educating their daughters in a proper way. Since every Jewish girl fits the description of an the foundation of the home, that is a merit and a responsibility unlike any other. But the root of that all is that a woman who fears Hashem, that is what is worth praising. Everything in the Torah has a practical lesson for us in our day-to-day lives. This idea of th-th-the fact that this occurred on Tu B'Av means that Tu B'Av is a for women to be to be what these girls were saying is the most valuable thing in the entire world, somebody who fears Hashem. This is also-- This Rebbe

09:17 says furthermore, and this is the main point, since the Torah of kindness, since everything the Torah asks is something that you're already capable of doing, every single Jewish woman already has the ability, the strength, the possibility, the to, uh, to promote to be a woman who fears Hashem, to teach that to their children, and to teach them to b-build their entire house on that principle. And nothing can stand before will. The Rebbe says that, "I hope to hear good news from you, including all the things that you talked about in your letter." Now, the Rebbe goes on this vein in a couple other letters that are specifically to women about this story in the Mishnah. So let's take a look at another one to build up a, uh, build up a theory. We have-- This is in volume twenty-two, page three hundred and eight. It's on your screen. Just an excerpt, don't worry. The Rebbe writes this letter on the fifteenth of Av. The Mishnah says it was one of the most special of the entire Jewish people. The women would go out to the vineyards, they would dance, they would say, "A woman who fears God is the one who we should praise." Listen up, the daughters of Tzion about the the one-- the king of-- the King Shlomo, the king of peace. Think about him on the day of on the day of the He's just quoting the Mishnah. The Rebbe says, "I hope that everything gets fulfilled. I hope that everything gets

10:55 fulfilled." And when all of this happens, the Jewish women, the Jewish girls, are going to get a first in this, the first portion. This echoes, this last line is the one we need. This echoes or this emphasizes the incredible merit and the incredible ability of Jewish women and young girls, specifically Chabad women and young girls. He writes, in order to instill the to instill the dearness of the Torah, the and the dearness of mitzvahs to every place that their hand reaches. And to make sure that the above things are fulfilled So the Rebbe is saying here something that we kind of hinted to in the last letter, which is that the fact that girls were dancing and saying, and that there's means that there's a specific a specific connection between Jewish women and bringing these things into reality, So the Rebbe is saying in this letter, now that we're standing on the fifteenth of Av, and in our case, the day after the fifteenth of Av, this is a time that, uh, we talked about yesterday as a for people to have more than Torah. It's also a time of for Jewish women to come into their own and to focus on spreading Yiras Shamayim, on spreading Torah, and on bringing the The Rebbe has one more letter I'll and then we're gonna shift to the Rebbe's message to men. Volume twenty-six, page four thirty-seven, again, the Rebbe addresses women on this topic, and he says, um, that when the Torah was first given by

12:19 when the Torah was first given, the first words of it are to Beis Yaakov, and only after that to Bnei Yisrael. So the Jewish women heard about the Torah first. Beis Yaakov The Rebbe says, "Many times women were at the top of our stories," basically. That's a summary of that sentence, is that throughout the generations and throughout our stories and throughout our history, women very frequently are the main characters. And the reason-- Especially when it comes to giving the Torah. And the reason for that is specifically regarding this month, which is the month of Menachem Av. We have a teaching from our Chazal in the Mishnah that there were no, there-- no, no greater days for the Jewish people than the fifteenth of Av. And what happened on that day, on that greatest day of the Jewish people? It wasn't a man's holiday. That greatest day of the Jewish people was when Bnei Yisrael of Yerushalayim, maybe, I just told you there were two Gersais. What did they say? They announced what the foundation of a family should be, what the foundation of a home should be. That's what they would do on the fifteenth of Av. That is that it should be based on Torah and mitzvahs and essentially on on the disregard for physical appearances and instead on the focus of that a woman who fears God is the one most worthy of praise. And so the Rebbe is now recasting our story, uh, not differently than the other three letters, but I

13:42 think when you put these three letters together, you really get a different story than what we read in the Mishnah. The Mishnah, it sounds like Jewish Valentine's Day, and the Rebbe is saying, "You're reading it wrong." Saying here that we had a very special day, the most special day of all. There weren't any Yom Tov in Israel quite like Hamisha Asar B'Av. It was very unique. And who were the main characters of this special holiday? The Jewish women. And what were they doing? They would go out into the fields and announce to everybody what their priorities were, and that their priorities were to build homes and to build lives that were based on Torah and mitzvahs, involved in spreading Torah and bringing Mashiach, and focused on Yiras Shamayim. And that's what they would go tell everybody openly and spread, and they would say, "Anybody who wants to join me in this, come marry me." They would announce that, "I'm about to build a home based on Yiras Shamayim. If you're interested in that, let's get married and build one together." So this is not really so much a holiday of Valentine's Day, Lehavdil Chass V'Shalom. It's much more a, uh, it's much more a holiday of, uh, of, of Jewish women announcing what they think pri-- what they, what they know Jewish priorities are and seeking men who want to join them in that mission. Now, this is the way the Rebbe talks to women about this story. Uh, I found many, many letters to

14:42 this effect. I only brought you a couple, but they, they all-- I mean, I, I must have found fifteen letters that all more or less do that. I also have about fifteen letters that do what I'm about to show you, which is the way that the Rebbe always talks about this when he writes to men. There are at least fifteen letters where the Rebbe uses this story and this passuk to tell men that they need to be careful who they choose for a shidduch, and that it should specifically be someone who fears Hashem, and to not really worry about other things as much. Now, of course, the Rebbe is not saying the, that a man is supposed to marry someone that he finds unattractive or anything like that before you get all worried. However, whenever anybody writes to the Rebbe asking about what sort of shidduch to be thinking about, the Rebbe always pushes that Yirat Hashem Ubitah is the number one priority based on our Gemara, based on our Mishnah, which says these women would announce, "Yeah, beauty is a thing, and yeah, family is a thing," but at the end of the day, the Masana of the Mishnah is Yirat Hashem Ubitah. Let's look at a couple of these. This is from volume nineteen, page one thirty-two of Igrot. You asked me about a shidduch. You should know what Chazal already paskened. That a person who's seeking a shidduch needs to be like someone seeking a lost object. And of course, it has

15:43 to be in a tzniusdic way according to Shulchan Aruch. Maybe not with women dancing in the streets. on our days in general when it comes to us and when it comes specifically to somebody who's learned in a yeshiva, what should men do? They should do exactly what the women dancing in the fields on Tu B'Av told them to do. That is, don't pay so much attention to looks and focus instead on finding a woman who fears Hashem because that's what's most praiseworthy. This will help to have success in all-- in the shidduchim, and this will make sure that, uh, God will give success in both the essentials and the unessential parts of the relationship. Volume nineteen, page two eighty-six, we have a very similar letter. The Rebbe says, "You wrote to me about a shidduch, but you forgot the most important part." Let's look at what the Torah says about a shidduch. What is the ikar? What's the most important thing to look for when you're trying to find somebody to marry? Where do you get that from? That's from our Mishnah, is that the-- we're, we're listening to the women who danced in the vineyards. So what the Rebbe told the women is, "You should say what matters," and what he's telling the men is, "You should listen to them." This means focusing on daily practice of Judaism. Says the way the whole house runs and the way the husband turns out is very much dependent on the behavior of the , the woman

17:10 who's running the home. That is the woman. When it comes to these things, she sets the stage for how the men are going to act and whether there's going to be a house full of Torah and mitzvahs. The stage is really set by the women. This is something the Rebbe's writing to men. This is actually something we saw in a different letter, so I'm not gonna read it right now. Remember our class on this where people were-- people wrote to the Rebbe saying they were hoping to, uh, marry women in order to make them frum? The Rebbe never liked that. So in this letter too, at the end of the letter, he says, "She has to already be a Yiras Shamayim. You can't build her up. You have-- Find a Yiras Shamayim and, and marry one now." This letter is similar, but it has such a fun note in it that I could not show it to you. It's our last one for today before we break and talk a little bit. Volume nineteen pag-- nineteen page, page three ninety-one. This is a person who's becoming more frum, and the Rebbe is very happy about it. He just has a problem. They read a shidduch to him, and they read the shidduch that is a Sephardi girl, and he's an Ashkenazi, and his parents are not happy about it. Look at this. So he says, "My parents aren't happy I became frum. They read me a shidduch, and the shidduch they read out for me

18:13 is a Moroccan girl, a Sephardi, and my parents aren't happy about it. I wanna know what the Rebbe thinks about this." The Rebbe writes, Excuse me, I read that wrong. Based on what you wrote, based on what you wrote, this girl that they're sug-- that they're suggesting to you, that's a Moroccan Jew, she's a Yiras Hashem. She fears Hashem. She acts properly like a Jewish woman, and every single Jewish woman is a daughter of Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, and Leah. So we've already said about this, that the most important thing in a shidduch is finding a woman who fears God, and you've found one. So continue to look into this shidduch. It should be in a good time and with success. The Rebbe says it is understood and it is simple that there is no room at all anymore for there to be divisions between Ashkenazim and Sephardim. And especially in the most recent years, there have been a lot of shidduchim between Ashkenazim and Sephardim in recent years. And they built their homes on the foundations of Torah and mitzvahs, happy marriages and physicality and in spirituality. The Rebbe says there's absolutely no room at all for somebody to be concerned about Ashkenazim and Sephardim marrying each other. Certainly nowadays, when we've seen these marriages work out very well. But of course, the theme of the letter for our purposes is once again somebody saying, "Look, I have a concern about the shidduch," and the Rebbe saying, "My main question is, is she a Yiras

19:40 Shamayim? And if she is, then most of the answer is already there. What you're looking for is an Yiras Hashem." So to sum up everything we learned, the Rebbe has two unique lessons from the classic story of women dancing in the fields trying to convince men to marry them, uh, due to their fear of heaven and nothing else. And if we had to put it into just one word, it's that the women who were singing-- or singing. I don't-- It never says singing, you know? It says that they said. They said. They said. Right? They weren't singing. In a way, I just imagine dancing comes with singing, but they didn't. They said, So these women in the fields were saying. What were they saying? The women were saying correctly. They were saying the right thing. And, uh, modern women need to say those same things. They need to be shouting that same lesson out to everybody and teaching the world that Yiras Hashem is what matters the most. Fear of God matters more than everything else. And modern men need to listen to those women who are shouting that fear of heaven is what matters most and marry accordingly. So women are being told to use this story from Tu B'Av to remind them that it's their job to tell everyone and to promote Yiras Hashem and Torah and Mashiach. And men are told to use this story to recognize that that is what is most valuable in a woman. What, what, what is most

20:39 valuable in a woman is someone who embodies these values of fear of heaven and Torah and bringing Mashiach, specifically when seeking a shidduch, but also even when we're already married. This is what, uh-- As, as it says at the end of the Gemara, when in the Gemara it says, uh, right? The Masana, according to the Rebbe, out of this Mishnah really is that the whole point of a woman is to spread Yiras Shamayim in the world, and that women need to do it and men need to pay attention.