Rabbi Zalman & Nechama Tiechtel: Growing Jewish Souls In The American Heartland

00:00 Speaker 1 My freshman year, my roommate was this Jewish guy, and we listened to Matisyahu every single night before we went to bed

00:05 Speaker 2 That's University of Kansas graduate, Charles Goldberg

00:09 Speaker 1 That was our ritual. We for like 30 minutes before we went to sleep

00:11 Speaker 2 Charles was not just a fan of rap music, he was a rapper himself. He was also extremely troubled, a fact not lost on Chabad on Campus Shliach, Rabbi Zalman Taichatel, who looked for the best way to help him

00:26 Speaker 3 And I thought to myself, "This may be a way to get to his heart," because Charles is very musical, very talented. This was totally his passion. And I said to him, I don't know how it came to me, I just said, "Oh, actually, we're doing a class, a special class, where we're delving into Matisyahu's lyrics." And he said, "When's the class?" I was like, "When's the class? Um, Tuesday, 7:00."

00:51 Speaker 1 Zalman created this class for me and invited me

00:54 Speaker 2 Charles and Rabbi Taichatel began by delving into the lyrics of Matisyahu's song Chop 'Em Down. Charles knew the song, but he didn't yet know the life-saving Hasidic message inside it, just waiting to be unlocked

01:08 Speaker 1 And I was like, "Where is this coming from?" Like, "How come I've never heard this before?"

01:11 Speaker 2 But that class was only one tool in the toolbox of Rabbi Zalman Taichatel and his wife Nechama in their mission to bring healing and Yiddishkeit to Charles Goldberg, and to thousands of other University of Kansas students. I'm Gary Wolak, and this is Lamplighters: Stories from Chabad Emissaries on the Jewish Frontier. Life as a Chabad emissary is often joyous, but it can be unpredictable and even dangerous. Chabad has become a ubiquitous presence in every corner of the world, but behind every Chabad house are emissaries, regular people striving to transcend their circumstances, and the community that supports and relies on them. These are their stories. Here's a great opportunity for you. You rely on the Lamplighters podcast to bring you inspiring stories of Chabad emissaries all over the world. Now you can help keep our series going strong. To dedicate an episode, please email us at podcast@lubavitch.com to explore dedication opportunities. That's podcast@lubavitch.com. To subscribe digitally to Lubavitch International Magazine or to receive it at your doorstep, please visit lubavitch.com/subscribe. Charles Goldberg was born and raised in the northwest suburbs of Chicago, in what he calls a kind-of observant Jewish home

02:56 Speaker 1 My mom kept kosher, but outside of that there was nothing. I saw the Torah as a storybook. I didn't really see it as anything that was necessarily applicable to me

03:08 Speaker 2 The reason Charles knew anything at all about the Torah is that when he was in high school, he taught Hebrew school classes at his local synagogue six days a week. He says he needed the money so that he could afford to date

03:21 Speaker 1 So at any given time, I was in three full-blown relationships. At one point, five full-blown relationships with five girls who all lived within a 30-mile radius. I was lying to literally everyone. I was also lying to myself. It was just, uh, terrible, and I remember, like, the rabbis of my conservative synagogue basically calling me out and being like, "What is wrong with you?" Because, I mean, a lot of these girls also were part of the synagogue

03:45 Speaker 2 One rabbi confronted Charles and asked him a pointed question

03:50 Speaker 1 "What do you like about yourself?" I really struggled to answer that question

03:55 Speaker 2 Charles continued to struggle at home, too. His behavior caused significant tension between him and his parents, and in the classroom

04:03 Speaker 1 I wasted no time in doing horrendously in school, and I didn't have any mentor that I trusted. There was not really a person that I felt like I could go to

04:12 Speaker 2 But his native intelligence kicked in. Charles applied his musical talents, writing rap and rock songs, and did well enough to get accepted as an undergrad at the University of Kansas in Lawrence. He arrived there in the fall of 2005 to study psychology

04:30 Speaker 1 And it was terrifying for me, because you also have to understand that I knew no one. I was completely alone for like the first time in my life, and I was terribly homesick. I was very lonely. I was just lost

04:41 Speaker 2 Charles joined Alpha Epsilon Pi, or AE Pi, a Jewish fraternity. He says that helped, but he was still looking for something he couldn't quite put into words. He'd soon find it. Rabbi Zalman and Rebbetzin Nechama Taichatel arrived in Lawrence, Kansas in March of 2006

05:02 Speaker 3 Didn't really know what hit us. Literally came with a dollar and a dream

05:06 Speaker 2 Zalman grew up in Brooklyn, Nechama in Montreal and Michigan. He attended yeshiva in Israel, Paris, and Brooklyn. Nechama attended seminary in Detroit and Melbourne, Australia. As a rabbinic student, Zalman did Jewish outreach in Germany, Russia, and France. The Taichatels were married in 2004. But nothing in their experience really prepared them for a move to the heartland of the US

05:33 Speaker 3 We came here with a six-week-old baby. She was our only child at the time, and people are so friendly. You go to the grocery store, people come over, "What's her name? How old is she?" And I'm looking for my wallet, 'cause I came from New York where if a stranger approaches you, you gotta watch out. And it, it was unbelievable, that, that culture shock, the friendly Midwestern environment

05:53 Speaker 4 Kansas was very much love at first sight

05:57 Speaker 2 That's Nechama Taichatel

05:59 Speaker 4 I vibed with Lawrence, let's say it that way You know, once we came here, it, it clicked. It made sense. It felt right. We were fresh, young. We were just ready to conquer, and we were so excited to create connections and bonds with these students and get to know them.

06:17 Speaker 2 The Teichtels quickly settled in and began learning about the Jews attending KU. Back in 2006, there were about 1,000 in the student body coming from a wide spectrum.

06:28 Speaker 4 Most of them are coming from the Midwest. You know, we have a lot of Minnesota, Chicago, Texas, Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas. They have strong Jewish pride, but very little observance. And even if they grew up with it, they leave it mostly behind once they come to KU. They know they're Jewish, and that's about it. They come here, and they're surprised to find a Jewish community where they can celebrate and feel welcome regardless.

06:58 Speaker 3 But we literally did not know a soul, and we didn't know where to go, what to do, and it felt lonely.

07:07 Speaker 2 But not for long.

07:09 Speaker 3 We arrived on a Tuesday, and on Friday there was a knock on the door, and there's two students standing there. And one of them had, like, flowers for my wife, and they said, "We just want to welcome you to town." They were brothers of the Jewish fraternity in town called AE Pi. And I realized, wow, they're excited we're here. So I said to them, "Why don't we do a social event together?" And sure enough, they came.

07:30 Speaker 2 The Teichtels hosted a Lag BaOmer barbecue that May at the half a duplex they were renting and living in.

07:36 Speaker 4 Absolutely tiny. Two tiny bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room. The living room was both the living room and the dining room.

07:45 Speaker 2 Rabbi Teichtel estimates that it could comfortably hold a dozen or so people, but-

07:50 Speaker 3 It was very special, very meaningful, and Charles came.

07:53 Speaker 2 Charles says that the reason was simple.

07:56 Speaker 1 Look, there, the first rule of college is when someone offers you free food, you don't turn it down.

08:00 Speaker 2 Charles and a couple dozen others attended that evening. Nechama remembers her first impression of Charles.

08:06 Speaker 4 He was a skinny, small student. He came across as super, super friendly, which he still is. He'll speak to anyone for however long, and he always has a lot of words to share.

08:18 Speaker 2 But even with all his words, Charles wasn't yet sharing everything he was going through, which was a lot. The opportunity to open up to Rabbi Teichtel came as a result of an episode with a hateful evangelical minister.

08:32 Speaker 1 So basically, there was a preacher who came on campus, and a lot of people were very angry about it 'cause he was talking a lot of smack about gay people and Jewish people. And I think it was about 1,000 kids came to yell at him and protest against him.

08:45 Speaker 3 My phone was blowing up from the students, "You gotta come to campus. You gotta come to campus." But no one's telling me why, and I got worried.

08:53 Speaker 1 And he was just causing a very big ruckus. I mean, they brought in police. They brought in SWAT to kind of, like, make sure everything wasn't getting too crazy.

08:59 Speaker 3 So I run there, and I see a big crowd crowding around two people. And I come closer, and I notice that these are two preachers who are holding large boards with all kinds of messages about who's going to hell, among them the Jewish people. Disgusting stuff. And all these Jewish kids are surrounding them, screaming back and yelling, and I was like, wow, this is, like, amazing to see all these Jewish kids becoming so passionate and such fighters. Look at these kids proudly standing up as Jews. So we had probably 200 people there at that point crowding around these two guys.

09:35 Speaker 1 I said, like, "I'm not gonna let this guy's darkness get in the way of our light. Don't pay attention to this dude. He's not worth the attention."

09:41 Speaker 3 And then I noticed Charles kind of, like, pushing his way through the crowd, and I got a little bit nervous because Charles sometimes could be a little impulsive, and I thought we were gonna see some, you know, fists flying. And instead, I see Charles is holding something under his arm. He pulls out a tallis, a prayer shawl. Charles decided he's gotta do something.

10:02 Speaker 1 So I decided, you know what? I'm gonna teach this guy a lesson. I grabbed a tallis, I grabbed a yarmulke, and I davened Mincha standing next to him.

10:10 Speaker 3 So he ran to the fraternity house, and he found a tallis that I must have left there. It was lying around, and he wrapped himself, and he started swaying back and forth as if he was praying. Don't believe he knew the prayers at the time, but he was kind of doing his thing, and all the kids were cheering him on, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Wow, what a moment to see a secular Jewish kid proudly stand up, show he's Jewish in front of anti-Semites and in front of hundreds of people.

10:36 Speaker 1 And it was a front cover of the Daily Kansan, of the school newspaper, the next day.

10:40 Speaker 3 There was a big picture, which I still have here in my office, of those, uh, anti-Semites with those big posters, and then you see a small insert of Charles praying, and it says, "Charles Goldberg giving the Jewish response to the acts of hate."

10:54 Speaker 1 Zalman saw the news article of what I did with the preacher, and after that whole thing happened, he said, "I think you and I need to have a conversation."

11:06 Speaker 3 Charles decided to hang out, and we started talking. I said, "Tell me about yourself."

11:10 Speaker 1 So I told him the truth about everything. I told him I'm seeing three non-Jewish girls who live in three different states. I told him I'm using substances not exactly in the right way. I told him that I'm lonely and I'm homesick, and I just felt very lost. Everyone was angry at me. Everyone was disappointed in me. I had no self-esteem. I'm getting a little choked up even just saying this. I had nothing. I was a disaster.

11:35 Speaker 3 And through conversation, I came to learn how much he was dealing with.

11:41 Speaker 1 I mean, first Zalman's beard turned, like, plaid, then polka dotted after me telling him the, the nasty details of the, the things that I was going through.

11:48 Speaker 3 I was like, wow, this is a lot.

11:51 Speaker 2 Rabbi Teichtel says he felt that his upbringing hadn't left him perfectly prepared to help with the issues Charles was struggling with. But he reached down deep, and he remembered something the Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches about Jewish outreach.

12:06 Speaker 1 And then I'll never forget it. He said to me, "I'm jealous of you." And I was like, "What?" And he said, "I'm jealous of you." I was like, "What are you talking about?" He's like, "You have to understand, I'm a rabbi. I know what I'm doing in my life, and in certain ways I'm kinda complacent." He said, "With you, you have unbelievable challenges you have to overcome. I know that only the greatest people have the greatest challenges, and so I, I'm jealous of you because I know that as low as you are right now is how high you're gonna reach."

12:42 Speaker 3 That was my first moment when I realized that it was worth moving to Lawrence, Kansas for this moment.

12:49 Speaker 1 And here's a person who shows up and says, "You're amazing. You're great. You matter." And he didn't turn me away. To this day, I have no idea, I have no idea how he didn't.

13:05 Speaker 2 But Nechama Teichtal does know.

13:07 Speaker 4 When someone entered our Chabad house, and not only the physical space of it, but in our relationship with the student, there is zero judgment and 100% acceptance. He felt it. It's real. It's genuine. It's something that we learned from the Rebbe to look at every Jew for who they are in their essence, and the trash in their life we don't see and don't care.

13:34 Speaker 2 With that in mind, Rabbi Teichtal looked for a special way to connect with Charles, and then Charles told him that he was a rapper.

13:42 Speaker 3 I just said, "Oh, actually we're doing a class, a special class, where we're delving into Matisyahu's lyrics." Now I have to admit, I don't really know Matisyahu's lyrics at the time. He said, "When's the class?" I was like, "When's the class? Um, Tuesday, 7:00." So I spent quite a few hours trying to scramble learning his lyrics and reading it and trying to find references, and seven, eight kids showed up at the class. People are really excited about it, but Charles didn't know for a long time that this class was set up for him in that moment.

14:15 Speaker 2 Not that it really would've mattered to him.

14:17 Speaker 1 So the class, first of all, was magic, because all of a sudden I started learning about a psychological dimension of Judaism that I didn't even know existed.

14:25 Speaker 2 It began with the study of the Matisyahu song Chop 'Em Down.

14:29 Speaker 5 From the forest itself comes the handle for the ax.

14:34 Speaker 1 First line, from the forest itself comes the handle to the ax.

14:39 Speaker 5 The tree's been laid inside.

14:39 Speaker 1 Okay, from the forest itself comes the handle to the ax.

14:42 Speaker 5 You will find your way back. Chop 'em down, chop 'em down. Chop 'em down, chop 'em down.

14:50 Speaker 2 Rabbi Teichtal explained that this idea didn't originate with Matisyahu.

14:54 Speaker 1 He asked us, like, "What does it mean?" And he explains that, like, the forest is the obstacle. From the obstacle comes the handle to the ax, comes the solution to taking down the obstacle, meaning from the problem lies the solution, meaning you can't fix a problem unless you actually know what the problem is.

15:11 Speaker 2 The source of that idea is found in the Talmud, and expounded upon in Tanya, the Alter Rebbe's foundational work of Chabad Hasidus, which analyzes in great detail the nature of the Jewish soul.

15:23 Speaker 1 And I was like, "Where is this coming from?" Like, "How come I've never heard this before?"

15:27 Speaker 5 Chop 'em down, chop 'em down. Chop, chop 'em down.

15:29 Speaker 1 And each class he brought down a different concept, and I was floored. It felt like a different religion. I was like, "This is Judaism? This is crazy." It was psychology. It was like, "I could use this."

15:40 Speaker 2 As the Teichtal's relationship with Goldberg evolved, Charles began taking on Jewish observance at his own pace.

15:47 Speaker 4 He naturally learnt the concepts of, of Shabbos, kosher, proper meshichist, obviously Sukkah, you know, basics, just from being around us. He took on prayer on Shabbos real seriously.

16:03 Speaker 2 Charles was still dealing with several issues, but he began coming every Shabbos. He'd go into Rabbi Zalman's office from about 8:00 in the morning until 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon.

16:14 Speaker 1 And I would read every word in Hebrew, and it was a struggle for me. And when I was davening, my mind was saying horrible things to me. And what davening did is it taught me to refocus myself.

16:25 Speaker 2 That academic year, Charles would often have Rabbi Teichtal to himself on Shabbos morning, so they'd learn together.

16:32 Speaker 1 First we would do Chumash, then we would do some Talmud. We'd learn a Maimor. We'd learn some Tanya. Like, he had a whole curriculum for me, so I got a lot smarter.

16:39 Speaker 2 Charles began rapping tefillin, but maybe not every day. Rabbi Teichtal urged him to do a little better. Sometimes in unexpected ways.

16:51 Speaker 1 In Kansas, all the bars close at 2:00 AM, so if you still wanna party after 2:00 AM, you could either go to a house party, or what a lot of people do is they go to Walmart. There's a 24-hour Walmart that is right there, and it's the largest Walmart in the state. Okay? So I remember, I'm with my friends. We had just been at a party. We, like, show up at Walmart. I had driven. I think I was sober. I hope I was sober. I come out to my car. It's literally 2 o'clock in the morning. There is a sign on my car, it was a paper plate, that said, "Did you put on tefillin today?"

17:22 Speaker 3 Something told me he was at Walmart or something, and if I remember correctly, he was going through some weird, difficult patch or something, so I didn't wanna just text him or call him. I wanted to surprise him. I wanted to remind him, so I put a note on his windshield.

17:37 Speaker 1 He knew, like, what my car was, but he literally put a paper plate that said, "Did you put on tefillin today?" I was like, "You gotta be kidding me right now." See, he was very persistent.

17:45 Speaker 3 The Rebbe teaches us that just like our enemies hunted after every Jew with hate, we have to hunt every Jew with love and do whatever it takes to find them.

17:53 Speaker 2 Even if it means putting a paper plate on the windshield of his car at the Walmart at 2:30 in the morning.

17:58 Speaker 3 Whatever it takes to find them and let them know that we're here and that we care.

18:07 Speaker 2 Of course, there were hundreds more Jewish students on the KU campus. As the Teichtels got to know more and more of them, and as their family grew, they needed more space. Six months after they moved to Lawrence, they rented the other half of their duplex. In 2008, they bought the building and a backyard tent that could hold 150. As the Teichtels' outreach grew, so did Charles'. He studied psychology and was a constant presence at Chabad of KU.

18:36 Speaker 1 Any time there was a class at Chabad, I was there every day.

18:41 Speaker 2 But Charles was still wrestling with some of his darker impulses. By his own admission, sometimes he wasn't the easiest person to deal with, but the Teichtels never turned him away. Charles graduated in 2009 with a degree in psychology and a minor in Judaic studies. He earned a master's degree in education from DePaul University, and now works as a clinical psychotherapist. He's run his own practice in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania since 2019. Charles says the Hasidus he learned with Rabbi Teichtel is a significant part of his treatment approach. He insists the teachings of the Alter Rebbe and other Chabad Rebbeim resonate with his patients, Jew and non-Jew alike.

19:29 Speaker 1 I see this Pakistani girl who's Muslim, and she said, "Charles, I never thought in a million years I would learn to care about Allah because I'm working with a religious Jew."

19:38 Speaker 3 Chabad Hasidus gives insight into the world of psychology and understanding the human. It's incredible.

19:45 Speaker 1 What Zalman taught me is if you wanna get a person to change, which is by the way, the whole point of therapy, if you wanna get a person to change, you have to do it with warmth, and that's why I'm effective. That's why I have the caseload and the reputation that I have.

19:59 Speaker 2 Until COVID, Charles was rapping and sharing his life story on the Chabad House circuit, but he still writes and produces videos for his songs under the stage name Hard Charlie. His most recent is one that he wrote about addiction. It's called Recovery.

20:16 Speaker 1 The oil leaves the olive once it's crushed. Never learn to stand tall if we lean upon a crutch. Despondence prospers from emotions bottled hushed. Until the facade of confidence is clobbered into dust.

20:27 Speaker 2 Rabbi Teichtel, have you heard Charles's song Recovery?

20:30 Speaker 3 Sure. Great stuff. I think there's a lot of depth in the lyrics. He delivers a lot of very powerful messages.

20:36 Speaker 1 Till I'm unconscious, rebuffed. No stop till I'm bottom up, struct. Despair, consequence of disgust. I succumb once again, and attempt to get out of the rut via getting drunk. My-

20:45 Speaker 3 It's fascinating. I was told Journey began with Matisyahu's lyrics, and now he's doing the same. He's taking the deepest ideas of Torah and delivering it with a punch through very short, concise, powerful verses. I think it's incredible.

21:00 Speaker 2 Charles married his basheret, Donna, in 2016. They have two children. His private practice is thriving, but he makes time to stay in touch with the Teichtels.

21:10 Speaker 3 We're still very close and talk all the time.

21:12 Speaker 4 Yes. In fact, I get a, a call from him every single Mother's Day wishing me a happy Mother's Day, and I always look forward to that.

21:20 Speaker 2 Charles says the reason for that closeness is simple. Without Zalman and Nechama Teichtel, he wouldn't be where he is right now.

21:28 Speaker 1 Absolutely not. What Zalman and Nechama did is they gave me a purpose and they gave me a direction. I wouldn't have my wife and kids if it wasn't for the Teichtels. I wouldn't have anything. I wouldn't have a career. I, I don't even know if I'd be alive. If it wasn't for Chabad, I wouldn't have any of this. I would have nothing.

21:49 Speaker 2 KU's academic year ended a couple weeks ago, but that doesn't mean the Teichtels have had much of a breather. They're already preparing to meet the next Charles, or for anybody looking for a Jewish home on campus.

22:03 Speaker 3 It's important to stress that there's thousands of students who have similar stories, who talk about feeling lost, feeling confused, feeling alone, until they found the Chabad House.

22:13 Speaker 2 The Teichtels estimate they're able to make contact with between 400 and 500 of KU's now 1,300 Jewish students each year. But that's about to increase because the Teichtels are looking to hire a young couple to help them reach their goal of meeting every one, and they're in the process of building a new Chabad House to replace the duplex they and their 10 children have outgrown over the past 17 years.

22:40 Speaker 3 And, uh, we're very, very excited for what this will bring. It will take Jewish life at KU a whole new level.

22:46 Speaker 2 It seems to me that the Lubavitcher Rebbe's vision of Jewish outreach is unfolding very beautifully, and nowhere more strongly perhaps than on college campuses. Do you agree?

22:57 Speaker 4 I agree 100%. We are so fortunate to see the meaning that students get from even one encounter. They're at such a special point in their life where they're really getting to know who they are and becoming who they will be, and it only makes sense that during this time where they're trying out absolutely everything under the sun, that they also try to get to know who they are, to know their Jewish soul. It's only fair that it's part of the buffet.

23:30 Speaker 2 Rabbi Teichtel says college campuses are the front lines in the fight against assimilation.

23:36 Speaker 3 When a student walks into Chabad, I don't just see them, I see their child, their grandchild, their great-grandchild, generations of Jewish people. We had a graduation last weekend, a grandma who got up and she started crying. She said, "My parents were Holocaust survivors. I had no idea what's gonna be with my children, but now I'm standing at my grandchild's graduation, never believing that he will be at a Shabbat celebration. This tells me that the sacrifices of my parents were worth it."

24:03 Speaker 4 I think the lesson is that no matter where you are, there's always hope. Charles was not only in an unhealthy place spiritually, he was in an unhealthy place in a lot of other ways as well, yet he turned himself around with a lot of hard work, but mainly because he felt fully accepted.

24:25 Speaker 3 Don't underestimate the power you have and the ability that you have to make an impact. Don't underestimate the role you play in spreading Yiddishkeit and igniting so many souls. Everyone could do it. Doesn't matter who you are.

24:41 Speaker 4 Let's be that person for someone else who's struggling, regardless of the struggles that they're going through. Let's be there for them. Because the people who are in the most pain, they need the most love.

25:05 Speaker 2 I'm Gary Wolek. Thanks for listening to Lamplighters: Stories from Chabad Emissaries on the Jewish Frontier. We welcome your questions and comments about what you've just heard on Lamplighters. Please email us at podcast@lubavitch.com. And if you know of a great story involving Chabad emissaries or the people they inspire, please let us know about them. That's podcast@L-U-B-A-V-I-T-C-H.com. To subscribe digitally to Lubavitch International Magazine or to receive it at your doorstep, please visit lubavitch.com/subscribe. This is a Lubavitch International podcast.