95. The Husband That Refused To Give A Get To His Wife

00:17 Kinderlekh, I wanna share with you a story, an amazing story about the great Gaon Rabbi Akiva Eiger that shows the power that such great people had, the power of Torah, the Ɨbr the koach, but the power of Torah that they learned, and they learned Torah lishmah, for Hashem, not for their own kavod because they wanted to be big, you know, big talmidie ha'ḥahamim, and everybody would give them kavod. They learned Torah because they want to be close to Hashem. They wanted to serve Hashem. They loved Hashem. They learned Torah lishmah, and that's why they had a power that with Torah they were able to sometimes change nature. Here's a story. Rabbi Akiva Eiger was once traveling to the famous city of Lodz. Lodz was a city, a big city in Poland, one of the largest cities of Poland. And in Lodz there was a Rav by the name of Shlomo Zalman. He, he wrote a very famous Sefer, Chemdat Shlomo. Shlomo Zalman was the Rav of Lodz when he heard that the great Gaon and tzadik, Rabbi Akiva Eiger, came to the city of Lodz, he sent a messenger to invite the Rabbi Akiva Eiger to please come to his house for a meal. He wants to invite the great Gaon to his house for a meal. And Rabbi Akiva Eiger agreed and accepted the invitation, and he went to the house of Rav Shlomo Zalman, the Rav of Lodz, and they sat down for lunch. And of course, such great Geonim get together, what

01:50 do they talk about over lunch? They talk about Torah, chidushim, the, in the, you know, different questions in the Gemara, you know, in the Rambam. As they're sitting and eating and discussing, a woman bursts into the room and cries and scream to the Rav, Rav Shlomo Zalman, and says, "Rebbe, Rebbe, he still doesn't wanna do it, and I need help." She's crying bitterly. Rabbi Akiva Eiger heard this. He was confused and didn't know what it was about. He asked the Rav to explain to him, "Please explain to me what she's crying about." And Rav Shlomo Zalman told Rabbi Akiva Eiger what's going on. This woman is married to a man who's a big rasha, a very evil man. He's not nice to her. Not only that, he stopped keeping Torah mitzvahs, doesn't keep Shabbos, he smokes on Shabbos. He, he left her and went by himself somewhere else, and she's a good woman. She's, uh-- has a yiras Shamayim. She wants to keep Torah mitzvahs and raise her children, you know, in, in, in cheder, in yeshiva. They should, you know, become real good Yidden. But, uh, her husband doesn't wanna give her a get even, because she wants to get divorced so she can marry another Jew, a yiras Shamayim, a talmid hacham. But he doesn't wanna give her a get, and when a woman doesn't get a get, that means she's not divorced. She's still married to him, and then she can't get married to somebody else. It's like keeping her in prison.

03:22 She can't get out. She can't marry somebody else. So he's keeping her like a hostage, like a prisoner. So Rav Shlomo Zalman said, "We have tried so hard to get him to come to the beth din so we can write the get, and then he would give the get to her, and she'll be able-- She'll be free. She'll be able to marry someone else." But he refuses. He says, "Eh, I don't believe in it, and you guys believe all this stuff in the Torah, and I don't believe any of it. I wanna do what I want. I do whatever I want. I don't need to give her a get. It's all nonsense." Chas v'shalom. But that's what he said. Rabbi Akiva Eiger was very pained when he heard the story, and he said to the Rav, "Maybe there's a way to get this husband, this rasha, to come in here into the room. I'd like to speak to him." So the Rav Shlomo Zalman sent somebody out in the streets to see if he can find him. The guy went out and looked for him and looked for him for an hour. Finally, he found him somewhere in a bar drinking treif wine. He walks over to him. He says to him, "Listen, why don't you go to the Rav and give a get to your wife?" He says, "Eh, I don't believe in it. Why I should go to the Rav? Eh, you believe in all this shtus, nonsense in the Torah about the

04:44 get. I don't believe in it. She can do whatever she wants. She can get married if she wants, but we don't need to give a get. This is, this is just, uh, old stories, old bubbe meises." So the man saw, the shliach of the Rav Shlomo Zalman saw that if he tells him to come to Rabbi Akiva Eiger and to speak to him, he would say, "Nah, why do I need to go? Why the rabbonim-- What do they know? What do the rabbonim know? The rabbonim just make up stories." So he said to him, he said to this rasha, to this husband, "You know, you say that you can prove to everyone that, that this is all nonsense and you don't have to keep Shabbos, you don't have to keep kosher. Hey, why don't you argue with Rabbi Akiva Eiger? Let's see if you can prove to him that you're right." Now here, this rasha man, this rasha husband, uh, felt a little bit of pride. He said, "Oh, you know what? I'll, I'll go. I'll show you that I'm not afraid of him either. I can tell him what I think. I'm not gonna be afraid." So okay, now he got him to come with him. So this rasha husband went inside the room where Rabbi Akiva Eiger was sitting with Rav Shlomo Zalman. And Rav Shlomo Zalman said to Rabbi Akiva Eiger, "Oh, here he is. This is the husband. He's the one who's causing this woman so much pain." So Rabbi Eiger

06:04 turns to the man and says to him, "Tell me, did you ever learn in a yeshiva?" He said, "Yes." "Did you learn Gemara?" He said, "Yes." "Did you learn Masechet Kidushin?" He said, "Yes." "Did you ever learn the first Mishnah in Kidushin?" He said, "Yes." Says, "In that case," says Rabbi Eiger, "Why don't you sit down next to me? I'd like to read the first Mishnah together with you." The first Mishnah in Masechet Kidushin. And he asked, Rabbi Eiger asked someone to bring down a Gemara and open up Masechet Kidushin. They opened up the Masechet, and they opened up the first Mishnah. And what does it say? The Mishnah says how a man and woman get married. According to Torah, for a man and woman to be married, they have to be under a chuppah. But with a chuppah, it's not enough. He, the husband, the chasun, has to give the kallah a ring, kesef. It's called kesef, something made out of silver or gold, and say, "Arei at mekudeshet li," you're married to me, and only then is she really married. That's one way. There's another way where he can give her a, a little piece of paper where it says, "You will be married to me," and he gives her the paper in her hand. Then in the end, the Mishnah says, okay, and how does a woman no longer... How is a woman no longer married, right? How does she stop being married? Let's say they get divorced, right? Then the woman

07:25 is not married anymore, and the husband is not married, and she can marry anyone she wants because she's no longer married. And the Mishnah says there's two ways by which a woman stops being married. She's no longer married. If she-- Even if she was married before, she stops being married. How do you interrupt and, and stop the marriage, and now she's free to marry someone, is two things. Either the husband gives her a get, which is like a document, a piece of paper, a parchment, and you write on it, "You, uh, um, you will be divorced, and we're separated. You're no longer married to me." Or if the husband dies. If the husband dies, then also the woman can get married. So they're learning the Mishnah, Rabbi Eiger's learning the Mishnah with him, and they finish the Mishnah, and Rabbi Eiger turns to the Rasha husband and says to him, "So you got a choice. Either you give your wife a get, but if you refuse, then we'll have to have the other possibility, which is that the husband dies." And this guy, the husband, the Rasha, who was like a smart guy, he thought he was smart. He said, "Rabbi Eiger, what do you mean? Are you telling me that I'm gonna die? Who are you to tell me that? What do you know?" And he said, "Ugh, this is all rubbish, nonsense." And he got up from his seat, this husband, and he walked out of the room. And he's in, in, in

09:04 the house, the, the place where Reb Shlomo Zalman lived, where Rabbi Eiger was sitting now, was on the second floor. So as the Rasha husband walks out, there's a staircase right in front of him, and he was like so laughing so hard at Rabbi Eiger, that he was saying this nonsense, that he says, "If I don't give a get, then, then we're gonna free my, my wife by, by having him die." What is he talking about? And as he's like laughing, laughing, he's not noticing there's a staircase in front of him, and he tumbles down the staircase and breaks his neck and dies on the spot. And of course, the woman was able to get married. It's a sad story. But here's the question: Why did Rabbi Eiger have to take a Gemara and read the Mishnah with him? Why couldn't you just tell him, "Listen, if you don't give her a get, you'll die." And a tzadik says, so it's gonna happen. The answer is Rabbi Eiger had his power from the Torah, because he learned Torah so much, and the Torah became completely one with him, right? Day and night, he studied Torah, and he studied Torah not like, you know, for covet. He learned Torah because he wanted to be close. He w-- he wanted to understand Hashem's Torah. He-- So therefore, he used the Torah to, to be in control, to be in charge, and to have power over this Rasha. So he had to read the Mishnah with him. And

10:32 now that they read the Mishnah together, he used the power of this Mishnah and was able to say, "Listen, the Torah says that either you give a get or you die. And if Torah says so, then the Torah will decide what to do with you." And that's exactly what happened.