82. The Baal Shem Tov Waits For A Big Sinner's Tefilah

00:16 The following story was told by the third Belzer Rebbe, Reb Yisroel Dov of Belz told that story. It's a story about the Baal Shem Tov. It was one Yom Kippur, the Baal Shem Tov was supposed to come in to daven Ne'ilah. Ne'ilah is the last Shemoneh Esreh of Yom Kippur, the most important one. And the Baal Shem Tov was in his room and he didn't come out, and people waited. And they waited and waited till it was already dark. And in all the shuls, the other shuls, they finished already Maariv. People went home to eat, make Havdalah and eat. And here the Baal Shem Tov didn't even come out for Ne'ilah yet, and everybody was wondering, "What's going on? Why is the Baal Shem Tov waiting so long?" But nobody wanted to bother the Baal Shem Tov because they knew the Baal Shem Tov has things that he does that nobody understands. After it was already at night, when everybody-- all the other shuls were already empty and everybody went home to eat and made Havdalah, the Baal Shem Tov finally came out in his shul. He says, "Okay, we're gonna daven Ne'ilah now." Everybody was surprised that the Baal Shem Tov took so long to come for Ne'ilah, and they davened Ne'ilah. And the Baal Shem Tov was very excited. People could see that during the davening he was particularly very excited. Nobody understood why. After Ne'ilah and then they davened Maariv and they made Havdalah, the Baal Shem Tov sat down and told

01:50 them what happened. He says there was a Jew, he didn't say where that Jew lived, lived somewhere. And that Jew did all the averos in the world. He'd committed every single avera that you can possibly imagine. He did all the averos. He was a big rosha. Never went to shul, never davened, did-- ate chazat reyfa. He was a mechallel Shabbes. Never did anything right. It was the Erev Yom Kippur, yesterday, so the day before, on Erev Yom Kippur, wherever he lived, there was shuls in his, in the city where he lived, and he sees that a lot of Jews are walking in their tallis and their kittels. They're going, like, dressed for Yom Kippur and they're going to shul to daven. And he thought to himself, "Listen, I'm also a Jew. Listen, I've, I've been so, uh, involved in my averos, but I'm also a Jew. What's gonna happen to me?" And he had a little bit of a feeling of a desire to do teshuva. Uh, he woke up, his neshamah woke up, and he just, he felt he wanted to do teshuva. But then his yetzer hara came and said, "Ah, stop it. You know, you anyways have done so many averos. You're lost already. It's hopeless. You can't do a teshuva anymore. Forget about it. You just enjoy your life." And he forgot about the teshuva. Then the next morning was Shacharis. He sees in the morning many Jews again walking to shul. It's Yom Kippur in the morning. People are going

03:30 to shul with their tallis and their kittels. And again, he felt like a little bit of a, an excitement. "Oi, I'm also Jewish. I gotta do teshuva." But again, his yetzer hara came and said, "Ah, leave it alone. Don't, don't try teshuva. You, you know, you've done so many averos already. Eh, teshuva is not possible for you. It's, it's, uh... Just enjoy your life and have a good time, and that's it." And so again, he sh- pushed it away, the thought of teshuva. He pushed away the thought of teshuva and, and then he went on with his life. And he probably ate on Yom Kippur and, you know, smoked a cigarette on Yom Kippur. He did everything like, uh, he always did. Then came in the evening, it was before, um, Ne'ilah. Again, there are lots of people walking to shul, and he's looking outside. He sees Jews in their kittels and their tallises, and there's ladies walking, and the children are walking. They're all rushing back to Ne'ilah to say the final last tefillah of Yom Kippur, which is the most powerful tefillah when Hashem opens the gates of Shamayim to accept every single Jew who wants to do teshuva. And he sees all these Jews going, and he hasn't gone to shul. And now he really feels bad. He says, "No, no, no. What am I gonna do? It's the last moments of Yom Kippur. All the Jews are rushing to shul, and I'm gonna be sitting here in my house and eating

05:03 chazat reyfa on Yom Kippur?" And he started feeling very bad inside. So bad that suddenly he couldn't take it anymore. He says, "I have to go to shul." He has to go to shul. And he went to shul, and when he walked in, he sees people were starting Ne'ilah, and everybody was with their tallis over their heads and the men with their white kittels. And people were bent over, over their machzor. People were davening with great kavanah. They knew this is the last tefillah of Yom Kippur when, when, with Ne'ilah, when Hashem is soon closing the gates of heaven, but now the gates of heaven are still open and a Jew can ask for anything, and Hashem listens. It's the, the holiest day of the year. And he's looking, looking around, and it makes him feel terrible. "How am I gonna do teshuva? I also need to do teshuva. I'm such a baal aveira. I've done so many terrible averos." And suddenly he can't take it anymore, and he burst out crying hysterically. Crying and crying and crying. He cried so hysterically that he couldn't say a word of the davening. He couldn't just, he just couldn't daven because he was so excited and so emotional, screaming and crying and crying. People meanwhile were davening Ne'ilah with great kavana, and he's still crying. He can't say a word of Ne'ilah. People finished Ne'ilah, and then they davened Maariv, and they went home. They made Havdalah, went home, and he's still standing there and crying and

06:33 sobbing, and he can't stop crying, and he, he can't even begin to say Ne'ilah. Finally, after a few hours when everybody was gone already, the shul was empty. He was alone in the shul. He finally started... He could calm down a little bit, and was able to say the words of Ne'ilah, and he davened Ne'ilah with such kavana, with such passion, with such a-- Like he was begging Hashem for forgiveness. So the Ba'al Shem Tov said, "You should know that there are many, many tefillahs of people. People daven, but they daven without kavana at all." You know how many times people daven, they don't even think about that they're davening to Hashem. There are people going to shul, they open the siddur, they mumble off the words, and then you ask them, "Hey, what did you do in shul?" "Oh, I don't know. I just... Did I go to shul?" They don't even remember if they went to shul or not, because they were thinking about their business, or they were thinking about a game, about how they're gonna play later. They didn't even think what they were doing, but they're actually talking to Hashem. Those tefillahs sometimes get stuck. They stay here in the world, and they don't go up to Hashem. They stay in this world. It's very sad because a tefillah is supposed to go up to Hashem, and then it has a real big effect. Hashem listens to every tefillah. But when the tefillah gets stuck here, down here, because the

08:00 person didn't have any kavana at all, didn't even think that he's standing before Hashem, he's speaking to Hashem, so the tefillah gets stuck here. But this baal teshuva that cried so bitterly for hours and hours, and then when everybody left, he started davening Ne'ilah with great, great kavana. His tefillah was so powerful that when it went up lamaila in front of Hashem, it schlepped with it thousands and thousands of tefillahs that got stuck here in this world and schlepped them up to Shamayim. It elevated all those tefillahs that couldn't go up on their own, and his tefillah was so powerful it could take with it many, many of the tefillahs. And the Ba'al Shem Tov said, "This is why I waited in my room. I wanted to daven with this baal teshuva. I wanted to wait till this baal teshuva can start saying the words of Ne'ilah," because he was crying hysterically. He couldn't say any words. "But now, when I saw he calmed down, he's starting to say Ne'ilah, I said, 'I'm gonna come out of my room. I wanna say Ne'ilah at the same time as this baal teshuva.' When his tefillah schleps and drags with it thousands, tens and thousands of tefillahs of other people who davened in an inappropriate way, and he schlepped a powerful tefillah, I want my tefillah to go up together with his tefillah." We see from here the power of teshuva. When a person genuinely is remorseful, is regretful, Hashem, Hashem loves that so much, and it

09:32 has so much power it can help thousands of other people, and they also, their tefillahs will be going up to Hashem.