Ep. 18: The Children Who Were Raised By The Rebbe with Rabbi Mendel Scharf

00:00 Speaker 1 You know when a person's home, his father is home, his parents are home, this is where they feel like, you know, this is where they feel comfortable, and this is where they feel at home, and this is where they feel that this is their place, and this is-- they have a feeling of belonging, and they know who they are, and they know what they are, and they know who is there for them. So the Rebbe did that for us in seven seventy on a regular daily basis, not from time to time.

00:34 Speaker 2 I'm Yossi Kamen. Welcome to Among Chassidim By Der Her, an ongoing farbrengen about life as a Chassid, our vibrant connection with the Rebbe, and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. Shalom Aleichem, Rabbi Sharp. How are you?

00:53 Speaker 1 Aleichem HaShalom, Yossi. How are you?

00:55 Speaker 2 Baruch Hashem, doing well. Okay, so let's, uh, get right, uh, to it. Um, so I know you, uh, in a different capacity that Baruch Hashem, uh, I, I guess I'm a Talmud of yours in, in yeshiva. Um, definitely, definitely learned more than one thing, so, uh, definitely legally can, we can zag in the Talmud. Um, but before that, I obviously knew like, like the rest of Lubavitch who you, who, who you were because, uh, I mean, I wasn't-- I was alive. I don't know if I was around, but anyone that was around Tof Shenun and Alef and Beis, et cetera, uh, knows the Sharps 'cause, uh, right there, uh, by the Rebbe seven seventy. And, uh, recently, uh, Jem did a very nice, uh, video about it a few years ago. But, uh, I don't know, actually in the, we've-- in the Der Her magazine, we've been, uh, featuring this whole year in the Rebbe Mit Rebbe column, Tof Shenun, and now we're moving on to Nun Alef starting Tishrei. And there's actually just in that right now-- more than once we, we-- the, the Sharps have been featured in that column just 'cause discussing what happened those years. Um, there's a picture of your brother, uh, Sholomka's, uh, ap shurnish by dollars, right? And, um, just now, and I think it's in Elle Magazine, there's a picture of the, of the th- of the three boys, you, your brother, y- your two brothers by the Rebbe. Anyway, so I guess we could start off

02:43 Speaker 2 to, uh, just talk about how that happened, what happened, and, uh, take us through that very special yachas that, uh, for some reason that we probably don't understand y-you were zeich to have and you still have with, uh, with the Rebbe.

03:05 Speaker 1 Um, I, I think at this point we could say it's almost befrin as kved dosh berabim, but for, for, uh, for me, it's not befrin as dosh berabim because it's a shtikel part of life, maybe a very, uh, ichil dike part of life. Um, so, um, it's-- how did it start? It started from the Rebbe. Now, maybe I'm not-- it's not all the way in the beginning, but it's just something that I didn't, um, I for sure didn't remember and I didn't see until just mamish a few days ago, maybe a week or two ago. And my brother sent me a little clip. Bechalal, um, in those years when the Rebbe would give out dollars after Ma'ariv, which was, uh, became with the time even more, but it became almost common that the Rebbe would give out dollars after Ma'ariv, sometimes with a sicha. If it was a sicha, there was for sure dollars after the sicha. But sometimes the Rebbe would give out dollars without a sicha. Um, and I always knew because I remember that we were always the first ones or almost always the first ones to get the dollar. We were the first ones on the line. The Rebbe gave us a dollar, then the Rebbe would give Chada Kava a dollar and Jimmy Gerrario a dollar, or maybe I have to say Rav Zalman Gerrario a dollar. And then whatever, the line would go by it. Whatever. I just figured that I pushed myself there, which is probably the way

04:43 Speaker 1 it was. But, um, I just saw something which for me was a very, um, it was very special to see it even though I didn't remember it at all. And I st- I don't, I don't remember it. I just saw it in the clip. I think it was Vav Kislev Tof Shin Nun. The Rebbe came down to give dollars. I think the Rebbe had said a sicha, and then the Rebbe went down to give dollars, and they brought down the actual shtender that the Rebbe used for the sicha for the Rebbe to give out dollars. The truth is, I'll be honest, I didn't watch the whole video. I just see them bringing down the second shtender, which the Rebbe usually used for the sicha. So that's why I'm assuming the Rebbe said a sicha that night. We could check it out later. And we hadn't come. Maybe I didn't know the Rebbe was gonna give out dollars. So we were just like standing in the regular place by the avenue right, uh, right off, like in front of the shtender of the chazan. And the Rebbe stood to give out dollars, and we weren't on the line. So the Rebbe turns around to find us. We were right behind the Rebbe. And the Rebbe gave us a dollar. The Rebbe gave my brother a dollar. The Rebbe gave my brothers a dollar. The Rebbe gave me a dollar. And then the Rebbe turns back around to give everyone else a dollar. So, um, how do

06:05 Speaker 1 I say it? I, I felt a little, you know, this is the Rebbe, the way the Rebbe, the way the Rebbe wanted it to be. So really that's, um, that is the-- what happened really in, in a certain sense. Not in a certain sense, completely. Um, it wasn't like a planned thing that we're gonna stand by the Rebbe. Um, it wasn't a thing in those days that a person who was a yasom stood next-- stood near the Rebbe to say kaddish. It, it wasn't the way it was. Afterwards, there was a few yasomim, there were a few yasomim, and, um, the Rebbe didn't... Not much yachas from the Rebbe towards them by, I mean, uh, whatever. By, by Shegalov it was, like, very bilit. I don't know if you maybe gonna cut this out, but Shegalov was like mamash bilit, the Rebbe didn't, uh, pay much attention. And by Avrumi Shapiro it was a little bit, you know. The, the exception was actually in Tov Shin Nun Bais was the Pines. The few times before Chamtzai Nogah that they came, they got unbelievable kiruvim. Um, I, I don't remember if it was once for sure, once maybe even twice when they were by a farbrengen, the Rebbe actually gave them, so I remember the Rebbe actually gave them in middle of the farbrengen from the Becher, the Rebbe gave them l'chaim. And, um, it was, it was, uh... Then also the father was sitting behind that where the skanim would sit, and the Rebbe gave

07:38 Speaker 1 also to him from the Rebbe's Becher to say l'chaim, wine from the Becher. But al kol ponim, the poel mamash, um, the Rebbe wanted us to be there, um-

07:53 Speaker 2 Can you start from the beginning?

07:55 Speaker 1 The beginning mamash? The first thing that I remember very specifically myself-

07:58 Speaker 2 So, so what, what ha- what happened? Say, what happened? Your, your-

08:01 Speaker 1 What happened was that in the beginning of Tishrei of Tov Shin Nun, that first Tishrei Tov Shin Nun, um, my father passed away. Um, it was on a Shabbos. The levaya was on a Sunday. Tes Tishrei, which is obviously Erev Yom Kippur. Um, Yom Kippur I went to seven seventy, but there was no-- we were s- we stood all the way in the back. There was no, no- nothing that I know about. Not- nothing that I saw. I heard th- things, but I don't know about them as a fact. Um, the first thing that I could remember specifically clearly, because definitely already between Yom Kippur and Sukkot a few times we stood near the Rebbe's Bima, not necessarily all the way where we would stand afterwards for the next two and a half years, but, um, we definitely stood there, and I remember being there and, and, um, I, I even have some pictures of that time. But I think the Rebbe gave out dollars every night between Yom Kippur and Sukkot, Tov Shin Nun. And I don't remember which night, but one of those night, um, the Rebbe gave me a dollar. Like after davening, the Rebbe gave out, after Mahar the Rebbe gave out dollars, and I went to get a dollar, and the Rebbe gave me a dollar. And the Rebbe looked at me when the Rebbe gave me a dollar, which was always the way it was. The Rebbe gave a shmeichel, the Rebbe gave a smile that was, um, uh,

09:28 Speaker 1 you know, one of those very, very special smiles that the Rebbe would give. And I remember I was, I was not even, I was not even eight years old. First of all, I remember it very clearly, but I remember at the time it lit something inside of me. It did something to me. It, it lifted me up. Um, I remember, um, we came home then. My mother wasn't in shul for that davening. My mother, I should say, aleha ha-shalom. And, um, she-

10:01 Speaker 2 Your, your were-- your mother just passed away?

10:03 Speaker 1 Yeah, my mother passed away on Tes Sivan. That's about two and a half months ago. Um, so I remember going home. David Hersl had taken us then to seven seventy. David Hersl is a cousin of my father. And, um, I remember going home and telling my mother about-

10:26 Speaker 2 David Hersl, he's the, he was the teacher?

10:28 Speaker 1 He was the teacher. He could be still a teacher. I don't know what he does now.

10:31 Speaker 2 He was a taika?

10:32 Speaker 1 He was a teacher and only taika for many, many years.

10:34 Speaker 2 He was my teacher, yeah. Okay.

10:35 Speaker 1 Oh, he was your teacher also. Okay. He was a Yerushalmi. He was a cousin of my father, not a first cousin, but like second cousin or something like that.

10:41 Speaker 2 My father is from Yerushalayim.

10:43 Speaker 1 My father is from Yerushalayim. Um, so I remember, like, coming home and telling... I mean, it wasn't the first time I went by the Rebbe. I had been a dollars-

10:54 Speaker 2 Well, I was gonna ask, were you, were you by the Rebbe a lot before this?

10:57 Speaker 1 Yeah, I, I, I would, I would hang out, not tons, not, not anywhere. If I would com- compare it to after Tov Shin Nun, it would be almost zero. But, um, I-- we, we, we went to dollars. We went to the Rebbe. I remember being by the farbrengens every Shabbos with my father. Um, I would stand next to him at first, and then I stood, uh, I went to the kids' place when I got a little older, maybe. A little older means like six, you know. So then I already went to, you know, I was, I was ready to go away from standing near my father. If I stood near my father, I mean, those years, I was like, you know, it was my father stood mamash besich ami, be- be- between the whole squish of seven seventy, and he didn't usually hold me. So I was between the chidde mamash. If I sh- back, if I sh- looked and back, watched. He would get me up by the singing, the chayei tzibbur there.

11:46 Speaker 2 Where's the kids place by the Rebbe, by the, by the Rebbe?

11:47 Speaker 1 The kids place is on top of the Rebbe's Bima. On the Rebbe's-

11:51 Speaker 2 The floor

11:51 Speaker 1 ... on the floor, on the Rebbe's left is where I used to sit sometimes. I used to sit for Shabbos. Some people would sit on the right. Eventually, most people didn't really sit on the right. Um, that lasted for a while until I, uh- Um, uh, uh, Rebbe, um, okay. We said there's a certain individual, which we're not gonna name right now, who stood a little bit behind Rabbi Chadakov. That's very near the children's place 'cause he, Rabbi Chadakov had a chair-

12:21 Speaker 2 On the Rebbe's left

12:21 Speaker 1 ... also on the Rebbe's left. And this individual had a way of commanding sometimes, you know, he would lose it, and sometimes in an extreme way, even relative to seven-seventy. And I don't remember all the part in, but one time something happened, not with me directly, just with someone else, but I was too close to him, so I told my father, "I'm not going back there." And I went back to standing near my father. Um, I remember being Friday nights by the Rebbe. Um, whatever. I mean, obviously rallies like Be'ama parades, um, dollars. I mean, I- we were there. Um, I have a dollar from Yud Dalet Nissan Mevov. That's the first Sunday dollars that the Rebbe gave out dollars. So I don't remember getting the dollar, but I know I was there 'cause I have the dollar. Um, I, I mean, we went, we went by, by, by Shalom Ke's-- our Brisin were actually upstairs, the three boys. The Brisin were upstairs in seven-seventy. That was to say that. I guess that was to say that. I don't think it was something unique that only my parents did. The, this is the, the Bris itself, not the Seudah, the Bris, was upstairs in seven-seventy. So, um, by my, my Shalom Ke's Bris, um, he was born, um, Yud Dalet Cheshvan, so eight days later make the Cheshvan. It was on a Sunday. I guess he was born on a Sunday, so it was on a Sunday. And the Rebbe gave out dollars 'cause it

13:47 Speaker 1 was on a Sunday. So right after the Bris, which was in the zal upstairs, that's where the Bris was, the actual Bris. So right after the Bris, we went to get a dollar from the Rebbe. Um, and Avi... Yeah.

14:05 Speaker 2 Your father-- Could you tell me a little bit-- I, I know that your father was very involved with Miyuhudi. I just re-recently came out a video of him giving a speech at seven-seventy. I don't know if you saw it about Miyuhudi. Was that like, uh... That was like a passion project? What, what, what was that?

14:22 Speaker 1 Yeah, it was. He was, uh, he was-

14:25 Speaker 2 He didn't-

14:25 Speaker 1 He came as a Bach-

14:27 Speaker 2 He had a job, right?

14:28 Speaker 1 He had a job.

14:29 Speaker 2 It was his job.

14:29 Speaker 1 No, it wasn't his Parnasa.

14:31 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

14:32 Speaker 1 Um, he came, he came-- It's not what I heard from him because, you know, it's from what I heard from others. He came to Tov Shimlam Dalet to the Rebbe. Kvutzel Lam Dalet means Pesach Lam Dalet is when he came. And it was the Tkufe that Rebbe spoke very, very strongly about, um, Miyuhudi and Shlimoz Tza'ar. Shlimoz Tza'ar became much strong, I think, a little bit later. And he got very, like, he got very taken by it, and he wanted to do something about it. So he got, uh, he got involved, and he had a, he had a very big hush in writing, and he also had a hush sometimes in talking to people. So he would write articles, and he would speak to Chaver Knesset. And I remember he brought the, um, one of the Chaver Knesset to our house, uh, Professor Avner Chai Shaki. Um-

15:24 Speaker 2 Chasid.

15:25 Speaker 1 Yeah, big Chasid. I mean, Tache, he was, he was part, part-

15:28 Speaker 2 You say your father, your father, your father's the one that connected him to, to the Rebbe, is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying?

15:33 Speaker 1 I don't know if my father's the one who connected him to the Rebbe, even though he did once, like, introduce him to the Rebbe by a dollars. I'm not sure if it started with my father. I don't know, and I don't really have anyone to ask. But, um-

15:46 Speaker 2 Okay. 'Cause, uh, Prof-- uh, Chaver Knesset, uh, Shaki was, um, a Fayerdik Chasid, I would say.

15:53 Speaker 1 Yeah, he was a Fayerdik Chasid, and he fought for the Rebbe against everyone else. I mean, he wasn't like-

15:57 Speaker 2 Yeah.

15:57 Speaker 1 He, he didn't get any popularity for being, for being connected to the Rebbe. So yeah, I mean, I, I was always-- I, I, I always... I mean, the Rebbe was our whole life was, was the Rebbe. The house was the Re-- We always spoke about the Rebbe. It was always a r-r-everything revolved around the Rebbe, what the Rebbe said and what the Rebbe did. And, you know, this was, um-

16:19 Speaker 2 And, and also-

16:19 Speaker 1 Both my parents were very, very-

16:21 Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. So I wanna, I wanna ask you about your mother also. I understand y-your mother's Mishpacha Blumenfeld, and understand there's a lot of Kidurim from the Rebbe to, to her, to her father.

16:33 Speaker 1 Father.

16:33 Speaker 2 And grandfather?

16:35 Speaker 1 No.

16:35 Speaker 2 Or father?

16:35 Speaker 1 No.

16:35 Speaker 2 Her father.

16:35 Speaker 1 No, her father. Her father.

16:38 Speaker 2 So what was that about? I mean-

16:39 Speaker 1 Her father.

16:40 Speaker 2 And he was a Rav in Brazil, right?

16:40 Speaker 1 Hard to know. Be-be-- I'm not sure what. I know that he lived in-- He was-- He lived in Brazil. He didn't L'chatchilah live in Brazil to be a Rav, uh, but eventually became the Rav of Rio de Janeiro. Apparently, it was a influential position. And I think the Rebbe did a lot of things through him.

17:03 Speaker 2 Was he a Lubavitcher?

17:04 Speaker 1 He was a Lubavi-- I mean, he became a Lubavitcher.

17:07 Speaker 2 Okay.

17:08 Speaker 1 Um, he-- I don't even know. I don't think he had a beard when he got married. He was a Tehilim Hadass Bach-

17:14 Speaker 2 Oh, he's American.

17:16 Speaker 1 I mean, he was not American, but he eventually landed in America. I think he was an anti-Chasidic originally.

17:22 Speaker 2 Okay.

17:22 Speaker 1 I think. But yeah, he became a Lubavitcher Chasid. He married my, my, my grandmother was a Lubavitcher from the beginning. My grandmother was, is a few generations in Lubavitch. Um, but, uh, he had, uh, some Kidurim from the Rebbe. He had many letters from the Rebbe. I don't know much part him about that. That's the truth. And, um, my mother also had, you know, she had a longer Yechidus as a girl by the Rebbe. And, um, I don't know all the partim at this point because I don't remember everything, but I, I, I know that the Rebbe had told Chadakov to keep out an eye on my mother And that, you know, whenever my mother needs something, she should go to Chadakov.

18:09 Speaker 2 But she was learning in Beis Rivkah?

18:10 Speaker 1 And she was learning in Beis Rivkah. This is in the Lamed He, Lamed Vav, and that's in, you know, in that, around that time.

18:18 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

18:19 Speaker 1 Um, Bechalal, she had a very-- she was, she was obsessed with the Rebbe in very simple words, um, kifrut hakemashma, in every way, from all the way from the first time she saw the Rebbe. Um, so yeah, but this, so back to this time that the Rebbe gave the dollar in Tov Shin Nun, it wasn't the first time the Rebbe looked at me. It wasn't the first time that I looked at the Rebbe, but it was very different, and it, um, the Rebbe's reaction was very different. And, um, the Rebbe, it was from that moment that the Rebbe poshit lifted me up and, uh, lifted up my whole family, um, in a very practical, um, tangible way. Um, Sukkos Tov Shin Nun, I would say is like the big turning point if you, if, if it has to be defined that way. Um, after davening, we were there for the davening.

19:33 Speaker 2 On Yom Tov?

19:34 Speaker 1 On, uh, on Yom Tov, the first night. The first night of Sukkos is exactly a week after Cheshvan Ish, after my father passed away. It was also on a Friday night, obviously. And after davening, we said Kaddish, and then the Rebbe would say a sicha. It was the Simchas Beis HaShoeiva sicha that the Rebbe said every night of Sukkos. And on Yom Tov, it could be Tov Shin Nun was the first time, it could be not, so, so, you know, I can't know for sure. But definitely then they extended, 'cause they can't use a microphone on, on Shabbos and Yom Tov, they extended the back of the Rebbe's bimah, um, it should go more towards ma'ariv, more towards the back of the shul. Not all the way back, but like a, a good few feet more in, so the Rebbe should be more-- when the Rebbe says the sicha, the Rebbe should be more in the crowd. So that was like an extension to the bimah. And then he went to say the sicha, and they were singing a nigun, probably Bais Hamachthah. And we... Although by davening, we were actually closer to the Rebbe's bimah, but then everyone-

20:49 Speaker 2 You're saying you already started davening next to the Rebbe right away?

20:51 Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah. Mmm, I, I don't know how that happened, but we were davening-

20:55 Speaker 2 You were saying Kaddish, whatever.

20:56 Speaker 1 We were saying Kaddish. I don't know if we were all the way in that corner or it's not, that's near the corner. Um, I don't know, maybe it was just for the regular kids. I don't even remember. It could be I was just standing in the kids' place. But either way, once the Rebbe was saying the sicha , everyone would come into the ches where the kids would stand, and-

21:17 Speaker 2 Where, where is that?

21:19 Speaker 1 That's right in front of the Aron Kodesh, that whole area in front of the Aron Kodesh.

21:24 Speaker 2 That is-

21:24 Speaker 1 'Cause everyone surged forward to hear the Rebbe's sicha, so there's-

21:26 Speaker 2 Is it chesed?

21:27 Speaker 1 It's a, it's a shtikel ches, yeah, because it's, it was closed. It was, you know, it was closed on the one end of the Aron Kodesh, there was a table. Then there was a table going all the way down till the wall.

21:38 Speaker 2 It was always like that? That only when the Rebbe davened to the Amud, I thought.

21:42 Speaker 1 Eventually, it was always. For sure from Tov Shin Nun it was always. And then you had the wall. It's like, it's the... Whatever, either way, that's-

21:49 Speaker 2 Okay.

21:50 Speaker 1 That's what we called it. I don't know if it's really or... The peyot was, it was, it was closed off. I mean-

21:55 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

21:56 Speaker 1 Um, I remember it not being closed off in the men's, but the peyot, in these years, it was closed off, at least I think so. Maybe it started in Alef. For sure, Yom Tov it was closed off. Either way, I was already all the way pushed back, like past the Aron Kodesh or by the Aron Kodesh. I mean, this obviously does not take me more than 120 seconds, but the peyot, um, I actually saw was, uh, um, I looked up and I saw that, uh, Leibel Groner was running down the steps of the, the, of the bimah, and there was like a clearing that opened. 770 people didn't make room for people. That wasn't one of the things that they did. So I didn't think it was anything to do with me, but, uh, within a second I knew it was for me, obviously, but it was a little whatever, and then I was with my brother, Shmuel Chaim. The Rebbe had obviously wanted us to come over, and we came up the bimah, and we sat down on the floor right next to the Rebbe's feet, next to the shtender. The Rebbe looked down at us, and the Rebbe was moed very strong. The Rebbe encouraged, the Rebbe made with his hand. Um, that's how we used to say it, the Rebbe made with his hand, gemach mit die hent. Um, a few times the Rebbe looked at us very strong, and that was it. From then we were always there, and you know,

23:29 Speaker 1 if we missed or we weren't there, then, um, the Rebbe would, would look around to see where we were. So we, we really got the message that we need to be there. Um, whether it was the farbrengen, you know, my mother figured that the night of Lail Simchas Torah by the farbrengen, it's late at night, we shouldn't, we don't have to go. That's Tov Shin Nun. But the Rebbe looked where we were, so that was the last farbrengen that we missed. Um, the Rebbe, you know, Shabbos Mevarchim Tov Shin Nun, Mevarchim Cheshvan, that's Shabbos Bereishis Tov Shin Nun, that's the first Shabbos Mevarchim. Um, we didn't-- my mother wasn't gonna schlep little kids to, to Shabbos Mevarchim, tell them we're gonna come for 10:30 for Shacharis. But the Rebbe, we, when we got there, we were told that the Rebbe was looking for us. It means the Rebbe expected us to be there. Um, the Rebbe, my, just recently, my brother, um, asked my mother like, "How did you do it?" You know, the peyot mamish, the only reason why it was able to work, the only reason why it happened was because my mother schlepped us there every single day or at night. In the morning, we were in yeshiva, in cheder. But every single night from ma'ariv, sometimes it was hours, if the Rebbe went to the oil and we didn't know when the Rebbe was gonna come back, by every farbrengen, by every... Any time the Rebbe came to 770, we were

25:01 Speaker 1 there. So, so my brother asked her just recently, she was already not well, like, like, "What, what was your thought process? I mean, you're a mother of little kids, a three-year-old. I mean, everyone knows what happens in the house at, at night. You have to put the kids to bed, and you have little kids. It's, it's not a partial disaster. She left the whole family out every single night. And the Fabrengen is everything. Shabbos, Yomim Tov. This is not a-- It's a very complicated inyan." So like, my brother's like, "What were you thinking? Like, what was the process? What was the..." You know? So my mother said that, "I didn't think the Rebbe wanted, so that's it." So that was really-- It was a very clear message from the Rebbe that the Rebbe wants us there. But this is only from, like what I mentioned, when we were not there. But maybe more in the, in, from the, in the strongest ayin is from when we were there. The Rebbe, um, would look at us a lot during davenning, and the Rebbe would, uh, look at us to say Amen and Amen Yehe Shmei Rabba. And the Rebbe would say the Amen, like, in a way that, you know, the Rebbe would slowly mouth the Amen 'cause the-- we couldn't hear the Rebbe saying them, I mean, we were down. And especially a lot, and my younger brother, Shalom Ke, who's mamish three years old. And there was just a, a tremendous, you know, it

26:47 Speaker 1 was a tremendous, um, attention. Attention is not the best word, but it was a tremendous attention that the Rebbe gave us, and the Rebbe, um, made us feel that we are, that we belong, that we are part of the Rebbe's, you know, we're part of-- We have an identity. We have a, we have a foundation. We have a yesod. We, we are-- We mamish felt like we're the Rebbe's kinder in a very simple way, and that we have someone who's looking after us, and someone who's taking care of us, and someone who's paying attention to us, and someone who cares what's happening with us. Um, and really, you know, it's a very, in a very gashmiyusdike sense, not a very ruchniysdike sense. In a very, very gashmiyusdike sense. And, um, um, it became like we knew that, I mean, first it was just the Rebbe's, but we knew the Rebbe is the Rebbe, and that the Rebbe should do that for us. It was like, it was, it was mind-boggling, but at the same time, very, very quickly, it became very, very natural. In other words, it didn't feel like, like this is shouldn't be happening. Yeah, this is the way it is. I-- Maybe it's not so nice to say it, but I, I, I felt like the king of 770. I felt like, you know, I could go where I want, I could do what I want because the Rebbe's the... Sometimes, uh, you know, it also for sure expressed itself a little

28:35 Speaker 1 bit negatively, but, um, that's what the Rebbe did. I, I'm just, I'm, I'm only mentioning it 'cause I want to bring out what the Rebbe did for us and to what extent it impacted our psyche, our general feeling as, as, as, as just as people, you know? Um, the, the... A person needs a, needs a, you know, when a person is home, and his father is home, his parents are home, this is where they feel like, you know, this is where they feel comfortable, and this is where they feel at home, and this is where they feel that this is their place, and this is they have a feeling of belonging, and they know who they are, and they know what they are, and they know who is there for them. So the Rebbe did that for us in 770 on a regular daily basis, not from time to time.

29:40 Speaker 3 When I, um, I actually found myself recently have my kids in shul, and because I wanted my, my young son to say Amen, so I found myself, uh, like tapping him on the shoulder and like mouthing to him, like, "Amen." One thing I got that from, I, I saw from the videos how the Rebbe's mechanech you guys. I realized that's a, that, that's a way to do it. Just-

30:05 Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, the truth is there's no question that it hap- it for sure happened sometimes that the Rebbe looked at us and tried to say Amen with us, and we didn't even realize the Rebbe was looking at us. It's not a shailah, not a question.

30:17 Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I see.

30:18 Speaker 1 The Rebbe would go like this, and then, you know, the Rebbe would look and, you know, often the Rebbe would catch our attention, sometimes not. But we knew that the Rebbe was always looking at us.

30:33 Speaker 3 And this was also by the Fabrengens also there was a say there, things that happened, no?

30:37 Speaker 1 By the Fabrengen, um, the Rebbe would give, um, by basically by every Fabrengen, the Rebbe would give a piece of cake to my brother, Shalom Ke. Um, it was usually either by the nigun before the first sicha. In those years, in the afternoon, and often ways the Rebbe would come in, they would start with a nigun. Rebbe would make kiddush, they would start with a nigun And then afterwards, the Rebbe would say the first sicha. So the Rebbe would give Shalomke a piece of cake, either by the nigun before the first sicha, and sometimes by the nigun after the first sicha. Um, but Shalomke was the one who got the piece of cake every week. Um, if it was Yom Tov, then it was a piece of Challah by the Fabringen. If it was, um, Pesach, it was a piece of matzah 'cause that's what the Rebbe had. On, on, on-

31:41 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm

31:41 Speaker 1 ... Yom Tov it was Challah, and, and at the end of Pesach by the Mesudas Mashiach it was, it was, um, it was, it was, um, it was Challah. Uh, it was-

31:54 Speaker 3 Matzah

31:54 Speaker 1 ... it was matzah. And yeah, I mean, we said l'chaim to the Rebbe, but that was regular. That was for, that was everyone. Um, and then we would stand there by the, by Mincha. The Rebbe would daven Mincha right there by the Fabringen place. They would put a stand there, by the, in front of the beam that was on the Rebbe's right, when the Rebbe would sit by the Fabringen, they would put a stand there. And the Rebbe would, would go there to daven Mincha. Krias Hatorah was right ahead of the Rebbe, like a few feet in front of the Rebbe.

32:31 Speaker 3 And, um, throughout this time... Uh, so also you went every Sunday dollars every time?

32:39 Speaker 1 No. Not, not every Sunday. So most Sundays we were in Cheder, but in the summer-- So in the summer of Tu B'Shvat, we went for every Sunday dollars 'cause there's no day camp on Sunday. So we'd go to Shacharis and then-

32:51 Speaker 3 In the summer?

32:52 Speaker 1 Yeah, and then we would go to get a dollar from the Rebbe. Um, or other times that there was no school. So the Moshe Yud Gimmel Nisan just sticks out for, uh, specifically. Yud Gimmel Nisan Tu B'Shvat, um, we... It was also on a Sunday, and there was obviously no Cheder. It's right before Pesach. So now when we would get Sunday dollars, so obviously you can't just go by getting a dollar. So after davening, we would go-- They would lock the room. After the Rebbe's Shacharis, they would lock the dollar room. It's called the magnet room. That, that room right when you walk into seven seventy in the main building, they would lock it until the Rebbe would come out to give out dollars, and then they would unlock it. So w-we were always in that room while it was locked, um, from after Shacharis till the Rebbe would come out. And that, we're talking about Tu B'Shvat. And so also this Yud Gimmel Nisan Tu B'Shvat, Yud Gimmel Nisan is the, um, is, is the yahrtzeit of the Tzemach Tzedek. And a few days after Yud Alef Nisan, Yud Alef Nisan was Friday in Tu B'Shvat, Thursday night and Friday, the Rebbe gave out a kuntres in the Rebbe's house, the kuntres Yud Alef Nisan Tu B'Shvat. And this was Sunday, a few days, the, the, the day, that night was Bedikas Chametz. So the Rebbe came out to give out dollars, and we were obviously standing right there to get a dollar. And

34:31 Speaker 1 the Rebbe started speaking a sicha. Instead of giving out dollars, the Rebbe started speaking a sicha. Um, it was a short sicha for a few, of a few minutes, but it was on Amers as if the Rebbe was talking to us the sicha 'cause we were standing right there. Um, I looked the sicha afterwards, the Rebbe thanked the people who gave berakhos, with Yud Alef Nisan, and the Rebbe mentioned about the Tzemach Tzedek. And, um, I don't know why, but in Tu B'Shvat we didn't go anymore on Sundays, even when there was no Cheder. I'm not sure what, if there was a specific reason or my mother just felt that it was not the way we should do it. I would go sometimes, you know, even, even for sure on ways, uh, you know, I would... After Yeshivah, after Cheder was over, I would sometimes decide that I'm going on the line and getting a dollar. Whatever, I would go upstairs over there. I had my ways, but, but, um, in general, we wouldn't, we didn't go on every Sunday for a dollar. Um, w-when the Rebbe, whenever the Rebbe would give out a dollar after davening, we would, um, we would go get a dollar. Obviously, the Rebbe gave out a kuntres or a Tanya, so then for sure we would go. And, um-

35:56 Speaker 3 So I saw that, um, so this whole thing of standing, were there any-- Was there anyone else? So the place where you stood, was it in between the chazan's bimah and the Rebbe's bimah? Was anyone else there or it was just you, you-

36:09 Speaker 1 No, not usually. Regularly, there was no one else there.

36:13 Speaker 3 So-

36:13 Speaker 1 You know, and the... Yeah.

36:15 Speaker 3 Yeah, go ahead. Now, I, I, I... So what happened by the, when you finished Kaddish 'cause that was, that's actually, that was in Tisha. That was in El that-

36:24 Speaker 1 That was in El Tu B'Shvat

36:25 Speaker 3 ... that month that you had.

36:26 Speaker 1 I saw that you put it. I don't, I remember it a little bit differently, but-

36:30 Speaker 3 That's, that's what I, I remember

36:32 Speaker 1 ... but, um, I remember that it was right after the Rebbe came into shul. I think I should look at the video 'cause there's a video of it. Right after the Rebbe came into shul for Maariv, that's Motzoei Zayin Elul, it would be the first davening that we weren't saying Kaddish. Um-

36:54 Speaker 3 So you were there for Mincha?

36:55 Speaker 1 We were there for Mincha.

36:57 Speaker 3 It's the last Kaddish.

36:58 Speaker 1 But that was the last Kaddish. That Mincha, there was a rally, I think, for Camp Emunah finishing. Um, and actually We left, a very rare thing, we left in middle, the Rebbe was still in seven seventy, because we were making a farbrengen in my house, um, bekerasha with a Siyum HaKaddish that day, and it had to be done before ma'ariv. I had actually gotten a bottle of mashke from the Rebbe on the Shabbos before for that Siyum.

37:31 Speaker 4 You went up to get it from the Rebbe?

37:32 Speaker 1 I mean, I was up already, but, uh, yeah, I got a bottle. I can actually show you the bottle.

37:36 Speaker 4 You announced it?

37:38 Speaker 1 The whole story.

37:40 Speaker 4 There's a sad story?

37:42 Speaker 1 So the Rebbe would give out mashke for people who were making a farbrengen or some sort of event like that. You know, the Rebbe didn't want it. There's a whole sicha in Midrash Daled about it, but he wanted it to be for farbrengens, really. And-

37:55 Speaker 4 And they say the Rebbe would pour-

37:57 Speaker 1 So the Rebbe would open up the bottle or sometimes, uh, the Rebbe would pour from the bottle into the becher, and then from the becher into the bottle, and I always used to like to watch, um, the little bit, the red, uh, the wine going into the bottle. The mashke it had like this... Nothing significant. It's just like what I used to get caught up as a kid. I mean, sometimes there was a lot of bottles, so it was, it was already not so red anymore because the-

38:24 Speaker 4 Yeah

38:24 Speaker 1 ... wine turned into mashke.

38:26 Speaker 4 But then, and then the person would announce what the event is.

38:28 Speaker 1 So the Rebbe would then pour from the bottle into the person's cup to say l'chaim, and the Rebbe would close, the Rebbe would close the bottle. This is all the way tulman base, and give the bottle to the, to the, uh, person who-

38:42 Speaker 4 Individual

38:42 Speaker 1 ... was taking the thing. And then the person would announce the seven seventy, why he's, why he's doing the farbrengen, and they would always invite the Rebbe. The Rebbe should be ze angeladen, and the gadol should be ze angeladen, and light on the Rebbe should be, you know. So I had prepared a few lines to say, you know, in Yiddish. I don't remember now anything of what it was, what were the words, even though I, like, repeated it, and I knew it by heart backwards and forwards. Um, the peyel, um, the Rebbe gave me-- the Rebbe turned around. So I was standing already right here. Most of the people get it from over the table. I was standing on the Rebbe's right, so the Rebbe turned around. The Rebbe gave me some l'chaim, some mashke in the, in a cup. I said l'chaim, and the Rebbe gave me a piece of cake because I was a little kid, and mashke is a, a little, uh, sharp. And the Rebbe then gave me the bottle, and I was supposed to make the announcement. Now, I wasn't very eager to make the announcement, and it's a very busy time. The Rebbe's giving out mashke, and people are announcing. It was not a very mesudilike, uh, situation. So I figured that I could get away without saying anything. So I went to the... I went to the side with the, a-around Leibel Groner. I stood on the other side of Leibel Groner because Leibel was there to help

40:07 Speaker 1 with the bottles, and I figured I'm, I'm-- I'll, I'll be good. The peyel, the Rebbe stopped giving out the mashke, and the Rebbe turned around, and the Rebbe waited for me to, um, make the announcement. So obviously, at that point, I said my announcement, and, um, then when I finished, the Rebbe went back and continued with the chaduk hashamashke. I mean, it was already almost over, and that was the... That was a very big thing.

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42:36 Speaker 4 Her through your financial support as well through visiting our website, derher.org, or through contacting us to setting up a meeting. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the podcast.

42:47 Speaker 1 Um, you know, in a year, a little bit more than a year later, before my father's second yahrtzeit, I again took a bottle for a farbrengen, and this time, I don't know what we think. The first time someone suggested that we should all go to the Rebbe, so the Rebbe poured all three of us a little bit of mashke in a cup, and the Rebbe gave each one of us a piece of cake And the Rebbe closed the bottle and gave me the bottle. We said , we went back, and I was, I was gonna pull the same schtick, and I did. This time actually successfully. The Rebbe didn't turn around and, and tell me to, uh, to, um, you know, stop everyone for me to give my announcement.

43:29 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

43:30 Speaker 1 Um, I had my theory that's why, but, you know, that's what happened the pearl. The pastors was the first time all they had to hold in hand. The third time all they have to sing ton was they have stunned, you can't use the-

43:43 Speaker 3 Yeah.

43:43 Speaker 1 You can't use all them all hold in hand. That would not be, you know... But anyways, that's what happened the pearl. But either way, back to Elul Tov Shin Nun. So there was a fabric engine. So the Simchat Kaddish, so there was a fabric engine. So we left seven seventy when Rebbe was still saying the Sichas to the camp. And, um, either way, we came back from Mahiv, and from what I remember, it was after the Rebbe was already in the shul. I should really look it up in the video. Um, un- a certain individual came to tell us that we, you know, we should come out of that little corner because I don't think he explained anything, but I understood. You know, we finished saying Kaddish, so you're done. Um, it was a very big-

44:29 Speaker 3 You were already there. The guy, this guy pulled you out.

44:31 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:32 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

44:33 Speaker 1 Yeah. Even if it was before the Rebbe came in, we were already there.

44:37 Speaker 3 I agree.

44:38 Speaker 1 I think the Rebbe came in, but I could check. We could check later. Um, the feeling was a terrible feeling because what does that mean for, for an, e-- for everything about me and everything about... I mean, it wasn't just like a technical thing, you're standing. You're standing there means that you have a place. Not that you have a physical place. It means that you belong. If you're not there anymore, then you're on your own. It was very short in the end, but it was very frightening. I, I remember at the time, it was very, very frightening. I was with my two brothers, and I was, like, trying to take whatever. It was a very frightening few moments. And the Rebbe turned around. The Rebbe was looking. The Rebbe was looking, and if I remember correctly, the Rebbe looked all the way around. So he right away told us it was very clear that we have to go back.

45:32 Speaker 3 The Xayda was b- was bottled.

45:34 Speaker 1 The Xayda never happened.

45:36 Speaker 3 Eh.

45:37 Speaker 1 I mean, I'm assuming that Ploni ben Ploni said to this Ploni ben Ploni, you know, after ratzakol, you should tell him, you know-

45:43 Speaker 3 Time, time to make a sayda with this.

45:45 Speaker 1 Yeah. Um, there was definitely people who wanted it to be over. The, the, it was very clear. I've, I heard diff- I heard enough, uh... You know, th-th-this doesn't have to necessarily be published, but, uh, I remember in, um, in Veis already, in one of the fabric engines in Tov Shin in Veis, um, things were very crazy at the time, but whatever. I'm not going through all the pratim, but, um, there were mamish being... I guess because for the Rebbe not to, to have more space, they mamish at some point, at some point, like, they mamish, I think they shut down the whole kids side at all, even when the Rebbe has left. At least maybe by certain fabric engines. And either way, so, um, they wanted, I don't know, sh- I guess it was Chagalluf's father, whatever. They, the Chagalluf stood over there, was standing next to me by the fabric engine, where I stood by the fabric engine on the Rebbe's right. And one of the Vadam Mesade, um, basically kicked him out and sent him flying. And this time I'm like telling him like, "Why are you doing this?" So he said, "I would even send away the Sharps, but the Rebbe is not gonna be happy," or something like that. Like, in other, in other words, there was not the, um... It was only Ruach Chakhamim they say, "Amenu."

47:07 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

47:07 Speaker 1 The Rebbe wanted it. It wasn't necessarily that everyone around, everyone else around wanted it. Obviously, the Hasidim didn't, uh, didn't have an issue with it, but you know, people who had different-

47:19 Speaker 3 Yeah.

47:19 Speaker 1 Uh, different positions.

47:21 Speaker 3 Right.

47:23 Speaker 1 Um, but, um, the pearl, that was it. I mean, you saw the pearl, the Rebbe continued to look at us, and the Rebbe continued to say Amen. You know, there was definitely... There's no question that the first kufah after my father passed away, there was a much stronger, like literally to pick you up and to elevate you and to uplift you. Like the Rebbe, you know, kol hashalis kashis al derech. The Rebbe really, could you say the word invested in, in, in connecting to us and in lifting us up and in, you know, to make us feel that we're not by ourselves.

48:05 Speaker 3 Something happened by duchaning, no?

48:07 Speaker 1 Something happened by duchaning. I remember very little, very vague of it because I didn't really know what was going on. Recently, like a few years ago, my sister told me that she actually saw it from, from the Vaibeshal.

48:22 Speaker 3 Right, 'cause your sister was upstairs.

48:22 Speaker 1 Um, what happened, my sister was upstairs in the Vaibeshal, in the Eastern Park Vaibeshal. So she could have a-- She had like a very direct view. She said that the Rebbe, it was Simchas Torah Tov Shin. It was Simchas Torah or Sukkos Tov Shin Nun. I'm not sure which one. And by ha- by, by, by, by Birkat Kohanim, the Rebbe turned all the way around, and they said that the Rebbe was gonna take us under the Rebbe's talus, but who knows. But then when, uh, Groner saw that, so that the Rebbe turned around. So, um, he took us under his talus, and we talked, uh, whatever. For a few years, we went under his talus for, uh, for-

49:04 Speaker 3 For his kids. And during, during these years-

49:08 Speaker 1 It was really hard to know. I know people said that... I remember people at the time said, "Mamish, the Rebbe was gonna take you." Some people actually said, "You were under the Rebbe's talus." Like, people like thought that-

49:17 Speaker 3 The way I heard it is that the Reb... Like, maybe like the Rebbe like-

49:21 Speaker 1 So that's what my sister says.

49:22 Speaker 3 Picked up the talus. Yeah.

49:23 Speaker 1 That's what my sister said.

49:23 Speaker 3 That's what I heard.

49:25 Speaker 1 That's what my sister said she thinks happened.

49:26 Speaker 3 The Rebbe looked and the Rebbe like picked up his talus and then wrapped away-

49:28 Speaker 1 Or maybe the Rebbe was just, uh, being mesmir- meramus that, uh-

49:32 Speaker 3 Right, that, that, that Groner or someone else was-

49:33 Speaker 1 Anyway, the pearl mamish, I was never under the Rebbe's talus.

49:38 Speaker 3 Yeah.

49:39 Speaker 1 But the Rebbe definitely made sure that we were under a talus if, you know, that's for sure. You know, what could have been, what was the, you know, we can speculate as much as we want, but, um, a speculation is just that, a speculation.

49:53 Speaker 3 Right.

49:54 Speaker 1 But the Rebbe took care to make sure that we had a talus to be under. Um, you know, that was not the-

50:02 Speaker 3 And during those years, um, it was also by, by the, by Shalom because of Abish Andrich. That was right in the first month?

50:10 Speaker 1 Yeah, it was, uh, just a little bit after a month. The, uh, Ches, Ches, Chesvan was one month. This was Yud Dalet Chesvan. It was on a Sunday.

50:19 Speaker 3 So your mother came to dollars with a scissor?

50:21 Speaker 1 My mother came to dollars with a scissor, and when we came by the Rebbe, the Rebbe turned to Leibel to get a scissors.

50:29 Speaker 3 To get his own scissors.

50:32 Speaker 1 Apparently, the Rebbe had already told Leibel to prepare a scissors 'cause the Rebbe-

50:37 Speaker 3 Yeah

50:37 Speaker 1 ... was expecting him to have the scissors. He had a-- He, he pulled it out of his pocket.

50:40 Speaker 3 He had it in his pocket, the scissor.

50:42 Speaker 1 Yeah, an orange scissor.

50:43 Speaker 3 She brought a sciss- she brought a scissor.

50:44 Speaker 1 She brought a scissors, and she was giving the Rebbe the scissors.

50:47 Speaker 3 But the Rebbe had his own.

50:48 Speaker 1 The Rebbe had it already prepared. You can see it on the video, I'm pretty sure.

50:52 Speaker 3 Yeah. But what's the whole say of the Apshenish? It happens sometimes that people... I guess if some, uh, usually not Lubavitchers, uh, uh, uh-

51:01 Speaker 1 And the Rebbe used to always, as far as I know, for many years, the Rebbe would always, um, do the Apshenish.

51:10 Speaker 3 The Rebbe would do it, but the, but the dollars?

51:11 Speaker 1 Not by dollars. This is by Yechidus.

51:14 Speaker 3 Yeah.

51:14 Speaker 1 With the Tzedakah.

51:15 Speaker 3 Okay.

51:16 Speaker 1 Tzedakah would bring their children to have, uh, Apshenish by the Rebbe. At some point, the Rebbe stopped it.

51:22 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

51:23 Speaker 1 I even heard a story that, um, it could be mevatel probably the pratim, but that, um, um, um, I think it was Abraham Shelmtiv's, well, the son that was gonna have Apshenish after the Rebbe stopped it. So he wrote to the Rebbe that, you know, although the Rebbe is not doing it anymore, maybe, um, in Hayei, he wrote a Halacha Aldech that he shouldn't be Beshimimei Echov. Shouldn't be different than his brothers. You know, there shouldn't be like, "My brothers did it, I didn't." So the Rebbe added the one word, Hatmimim. He shouldn't be different than the rest of his brothers, the Tmimim, and just like all the other Tmimim are not gonna have it, so he's also not gonna have it.

52:15 Speaker 3 Okay. Yeah.

52:19 Speaker 1 Um, like I, I heard from one of Meir Harlech's children, I don't remember which one. Maybe it was Mandy told me that, uh, a few years ago, I met him at Sachasin, and he said, I think maybe I heard from maybe a different one. Either way, that the Rebbe, that when it was hi- his Apshenish, so his father, they put him in a Gan Eden Atach for the Rebbe to cut the hair, and his father brought the grandfather, like Meir Harlech's father.

52:49 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

52:50 Speaker 1 So they knew that then the Rebbe was gonna do it.

52:52 Speaker 3 Yeah.

52:53 Speaker 1 And then Matakah did it.

52:55 Speaker 3 It did happen. So there's a, there's a pic- there's a picture by Koshebrava.

52:59 Speaker 1 Yeah. So that-

52:59 Speaker 3 Looks like maybe-

53:00 Speaker 1 So in the later years, some people did it.

53:02 Speaker 3 I think if you figured it out and you did it-

53:04 Speaker 1 Yeah, if you just did it, you did it. But we, my mother actually, I'm pretty sure my mother asked in advance if she should do it.

53:10 Speaker 3 Oh, if the Rebbe prepared the-

53:11 Speaker 1 I don't know who she asked, but she definitely like she... It wasn't like didn't just arrive hayovish. It was definitely-- And we know that the Rebbe, you could s-- We, we knew that the Rebbe knew that we're going. I, I remember Bashai, I remember the party, but I remember that it was like, uh, it was, it was, you know, it was, um, it was, it was happening. You know, it was, it was, it was prearranged that we're gonna go and the Rebbe was gonna cut it.

53:34 Speaker 3 How is it as a mesias to your sister? 'Cause she wasn't there by the tefillahs, but, um-

53:40 Speaker 1 So the, my sister definitely, um, it was in a different oyfn. Um, but whenever it was by dollars, she would get special attention from the Rebbe. If she didn't come to dollars, the Rebbe asked about her. I remember one time, um, I think it's in Iyar. I didn't remember the date. It's a little missing. I think sh- uh, uh, someone sh- found the video. So I think it's in Iyar, Tov Shin Nun Alef. Um, this time I went for dollars after cheder on Sunday, and I went with Shmuchim, and my mother wasn't gonna go for dollars. She was together with Shalom Can, my sister, outside, like by the driveway going to seven seventy. So we went by dollars, and the Rebbe gave me a dollar, and then the Rebbe called me back, and the Rebbe asked me, "Where is your sister?" And I was so mevulval. I was, I partially lost, like I completely lost my composure, and I started thinking, "Eh, eh, eh, in dreysen." You know, and then I turned around, and they decided that they're gonna go get a dollar. So as I turned around, 'cause I was like just... So then they were coming in from the door into the Gan Eden Atach, into the dollars room, into the magnet room from that, from the hallway near the zal.

55:10 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

55:11 Speaker 1 So I said, "Oh, oh, they're, they're right here." But, um, I remember one time, I don't know the pratim, but I remember one time. Klal from time to time, we wrote letters to the Rebbe.

55:24 Speaker 3 That was my, my next question I wanted to ask you was that I, I know that you wrote to the Rebbe, and there's answers and things I wanted to ask you about that.

55:30 Speaker 1 So, so, so I don't remember what it was, and maybe I never knew it. Maybe it was just a private thing. But the poil, um, my sister had written to the Rebbe. Now, usually, um, the way it would work, we would give him the le- the letter, and then like when there was an answer from the Rebbe, when Groner would come in with the Rebbe by daven, he would give us the piece of paper with the answer written on it. Not, not the Rebbe's ksavi hatkedesh, but he would rewrite what the Rebbe would, would give the answer. And like whatever that was always, I mean, even if it would be an answer to my mother, an answer to my sister, whatever, he would give it to me, and I would give it to my mother. I wouldn't read it myself. I don't even know if I would be able to read the handwriting at that time. Either way, the Rebbe... So I remember one time we get home from davening, from Ma'ariv at night, and we get a phone call from Maskiros, grown or cold. I mean, you have to understand, if, if you get a phone call from Maskiros, it was like earth-shattering 'cause it only means it's something from the Rebbe, it's not nothing else. And the Rebbe, my sister had written something to the Rebbe, and there was an answer from the Rebbe for my sister, and the Rebbe wanted that my sister should come to 770 to get the answer.

56:54 Speaker 3 Hmm.

56:56 Speaker 1 So I remember, I mean, my mother didn't know what to do because what are you gonna do? But she left us home, and she ran to the car, she drove to 770 with my sister.

57:04 Speaker 3 How old is your sister then?

57:07 Speaker 1 Maybe 10. I don't know.

57:08 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

57:08 Speaker 1 Let's say 10. Let's say. I mean, I can't know exactly 'cause I don't remember the date.

57:13 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

57:13 Speaker 1 But it's not, not older than nine and not younger. Not older than 11 and not younger than nine. So whatever. And that's it. My, my sister went, she got her answer, she came back home. Um, it could be, it's very likely that it wasn't so much that there was like a private answer that she had to get in her hand. I think it was for the yachas, for theee, for the, uh, what's the word in English for it? You know what I mean. You know, the... It, it, like it does something to you. The Rebbe called me to get the answer. You know what that means? That- that's like, you know how then if you hear the stories of like the Rebbe did certain things 'cause people started having doubts, does the Rebbe really know me?

58:06 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

58:06 Speaker 1 Does the Rebbe really know who I am? Does the Rebbe really know what's going on with my life? And the Rebbe would do these-

58:11 Speaker 3 Like the story with Reb Yael or Reb Yael, he used to say-

58:14 Speaker 1 Yes, exactly

58:15 Speaker 3 ... that doubted if the Rebbe's knows who he's signing all the Hasana letters to.

58:20 Speaker 1 Right.

58:20 Speaker 3 They're all the same thing, and punked that guy, went by the Rebbe, and the Rebbe asked, I think it was-

58:27 Speaker 1 Does

58:27 Speaker 3 Yeah. It's hakumas and bivris. You get, you get the letter, yeah, like-

58:29 Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, there's many stories like that. Exactly. That's an example. And, and, um, like the subtle things the Rebbe would do to... What was the point? The pashtus, I mean, al pi daar staachen, is to connect to you and to make sure that you feel that the, that you know there's a connection, that you know that-

58:49 Speaker 3 Yeah.

58:49 Speaker 1 So I think that, I think that the same thing with... I think that that-

58:51 Speaker 3 I saw, I saw the da-- there's a vid of dollars of my, uh, in-laws. There's a few interesting things, but, um, they'll, they, their, my in-laws lost, they lost a child, Tashan and Alef, Bach Nisan Teldon. And afterwards, by dollars, uh, Reb Agrona tells the Rebbe that this is Rabbi Mrs. Teldon. So the Rebbe gives a dollar, far diz haneshamah. On his own, I mean, they didn't say anything. It was far diz haneshamah. Uh, just like, uh, that's a, a, a yachas, you know, that, that, that type of thing.

59:31 Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a yachas. I, I saw, I heard this is, uh, also a very, I thought it was somebody around Gizach, that, um... However, so there was ba-- there was a bocher, all the part of me is not negeah, but it's substantial. There was a bocher who, um, was Namish. He, he learned in Manchester in the m-late mems, in mem tes, I think. And he was part of a big mass mid, and he spent... Part of sat a whole day and learned. But iker nigle. He would sit down in the shul downstairs, and he would learn and learn and learn and learn. I think even he got harassed sometimes by Hanhole. Maybe he didn't learn enough of Sidius or the... Whatever it is, he... But he was very, very into the learning. And he was by the Rebbe for Pesach Tavshimem Tes. And he went by dollars. And the Rebbe gave him a dollar. Like, as the line is just like flowing, the Rebbe gave him a dollar, the Rebbe said, "Far di leranen." I don't think the Rebbe even gave him a second dollar. It was like with a dollar, Rebbe gave him a dollar. No one said anything. The Rebbe, no one spoke. Rebbe gave him a dollar, far di leranen. I know basically hi-- one of his friends noticed this, and when, you know, they have like some of the, they have a few videos of the dollars. It's just like not a pnini. Just like the dollar's going. Like when, like

1:00:55 Speaker 1 just everyone walking by dollars, not the-

1:00:57 Speaker 3 Oh, it's like a-

1:00:58 Speaker 1 Not, not-

1:00:58 Speaker 3 Yeah. Okay

1:00:59 Speaker 1 ... not a pnini. Not, not a pnini.

1:01:01 Speaker 3 It's like then, you see now.

1:01:03 Speaker 1 And at one point, it's dollars.

1:01:04 Speaker 3 Oh, okay, fine.

1:01:04 Speaker 1 I don't know, like 10 years ago, let's say it was.

1:01:06 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

1:01:07 Speaker 1 15 years ago or something. And he saw like the Rebbe gave him a dollar and said, "Far di leranen." And he like, he knew the bocher from-

1:01:17 Speaker 3 From then

1:01:17 Speaker 1 ... like he rewrote it. Maybe like I'm, I'm imagining because I know he was always learning. And he met, he met him afterwards, and he said like, "Did this happens?" He said, "Yeah, for sure." And he's like, "No one wrote to the Rebbe about it. No one spoke to the Rebbe about it."

1:01:31 Speaker 3 Do we get a name over here or there's no, no name?

1:01:33 Speaker 1 I don't know. He's, he's actually

1:01:44 Speaker 3 Hmm.

1:01:47 Speaker 1 He, he, you, you could track him down, you could ask him. But the point is that this was-

1:01:53 Speaker 3 I think there's more than one.

1:01:54 Speaker 1 What?

1:01:54 Speaker 3 I think there's more than one. I have to figure out his name.

1:01:55 Speaker 1 There is more than one.

1:01:56 Speaker 3 Yeah.

1:01:56 Speaker 1 But you could find... It's not so hard to find out. But, um, it's a good story to put into the hell, you know?

1:02:04 Speaker 3 Yeah.

1:02:06 Speaker 1 There's a lot of aspects to the story that you could fe- focus on. But, um-

1:02:10 Speaker 3 You're, uh, well, you're, you're also, you're a mashpia of Bachrim, so this is, uh-

1:02:14 Speaker 1 Yeah

1:02:14 Speaker 3 ... an important story in your, in your work for Bachrim.

1:02:19 Speaker 1 It's an important story for us, and then it becomes important for the Bachrim. Um, how did I hear? I heard, um, I wasn't there, but I heard that there was this, uh, discussion by one of the kinussim, Kinus Hashluchim. How do you, um, uh, give over the habit to your children, and how do you make your ch-- what do you tell your children that they should be Hasidim and, you know, such a... And the, that was the nusach of the conversation. So one of the shluchim there said, "What do you tell yourself? What do you tell yourself?" And that's the answer to what you tell your children. In other words, if it's a problem, then the problem is in yourself. There's no problem in yourself, you'll figure out what to tell your children.

1:03:08 Speaker 3 Yeah.

1:03:09 Speaker 1 But yeah, it's important for, to, to have these stories, and it's important to, um, remember the reason why we know these stories and the reason, reason why we hear these stories and the reason why the Rebbe, um... In other words, the Rebbe says the, the moshel from the Bas Ayano. But it's very clear from the Rebbe that the, that it's not only about, um... That the Rebbe, it's always about the individual fully, but it's never only about the individual. It's always, I think, it's always about what the individual is gonna do with it, what the Rebbe wants it to be, to affect another person and another person. Like what the Rebbe said when he gave to giving a dollar. So it's tzedakah. That means the Rebbe gives you a dollar, which means that you give tzedakah. I mean, someone else is already impacted.

1:04:15 Speaker 3 There's a story, Zamán Jaffe, about this. I think we had it on the podcast already.

1:04:19 Speaker 1 Uh, what?

1:04:20 Speaker 3 Someone mentioned it. I think it'll be Shmulu. I think he asked the Rebbe, maybe it was just maybe Yasilu said it. He asked the Rebbe, "Why was it..." Like, years into, into him being involved, he asked the Rebbe, like, "What did I do to be zecher to such kiruv?" And the Rebbe said, "It's what you will do."

1:04:42 Speaker 1 There's a sicha from Yud Beis Tammuz, Taf Shin Yud. And the Rebbe speaks over there in the sicha about the idea of, um, arira in his kashrus from the concept of makdish an ever shehaneshama tluya bo. So the Rebbe speaks a whole arichus, but one of the things the Rebbe says in the sicha there is that-

1:05:07 Speaker 3 To be a makdish, a behe-- part of a behema.

1:05:09 Speaker 1 Right. So if a person, if a person is gonna, let's say, um, say, I makdish the, the, the leg of the behema, so then it's only the leg or the value of the leg. But if a person says he's gonna be makdish, let's say, the heart of the behema, the life of the animal depends on the heart. So then it's not only the heart, it's the entire animal.

1:05:31 Speaker 3 It's the entire animal. Mm-hmm.

1:05:32 Speaker 1 So the same thing is when you get to his kashrus, the Rebbe says. The Rebbe speaks about it on the side of the Chassid. So when the Chassid writes to the Rebbe, the Rebbe says, "And you're asking for one specific inyan." Whenever you're writing because you're asking, let's say, a bracha for something. So why are you writing to the Rebbe? The Rebbe says, "Even you think you're only writing about one specific thing, but why are you writing to the Rebbe? What's the connection to write to the Rebbe about it? The reason you're writing to the Rebbe is because the Rebbe is droish." So as soon as you're writing to the Rebbe, it's befrim as ever shehaneshama tluya bo. You're recognizing that you are completely connected to the Rebbe in every aspect. Otherwise, why are you writing to the Rebbe? I'm paraphrasing, obviously. Then the Rebbe says, mitzade Rebbe. So the Rebbe says, when the Rebbe answers you, the Rebbe is not just answering your particular little detail. Or I don't think the Rebbe says little, maybe your parti- particular specific praat that you're writing to the Rebbe about. When the Rebbe is answering you, the Rebbe is looking at your whole mitzias, and the Rebbe is answering and giving you koach for everything else that you could do and that you could accomplish and that you could reach. And the Rebbe says, "What is that? So there's nothing that the Rebbe does which is only for now." And that means that, that the, all of

1:07:00 Speaker 1 these nyanim and all of these stories is, is, is a hero for us to learn and to understand what is his kashrus to the Rebbe. Um, in other words, first of all, that there is a hiskashrus. I think that's the first hero. There is a hiskashrus. What does it mean, a hiskashrus? There is a connection. The Rebbe is connected to you, and you are connected to the Rebbe. If there's no connection, then there's no hiskashrus, then, then, then what am I doing here? The first thing we need to actually realize, we don't have to feel it. Some people like to speak, people like to speak a lot about feelings. Feelings are very iffy. They come, they go, they feel this way, they feel that way. We all know about feelings. Yeah, even to the people who are the closest to us, the, our feelings fluctuate. It's not about feelings. Feelings don't determine.

1:08:01 Speaker 3 Define.

1:08:01 Speaker 1 It's about fact. They don't define. Yeah, very good. It's a better word. It is. It is. Hiskashrus is. The Rebbe is connected to each and every one of us. The Rebbe is negeah. It is negeah to the Rebbe every detail that happens in the life of every Hasid. That, that is. The Rebbe does notice you, the Rebbe does realize what's happening with you, and does recognize what's going on by you, and cares about what's happening with you. That is. That, that is. And the reason is very simple, 'cause-- and the Rebbe explains certain things in such, in a way, such simple, basic, um, um, words and, and, and, and in Yanim that it, it's -- the Rebbe is the Rosh Bnei Yisroel. The Rebbe is the kop, and the kop is the makar for all of the evarim. So the Rebbe is the kop, and we are-- the Rebbe is the head, we are the evarim, we are the feet. That means that there's not only a connection, there's a very deep connection, and that connection starts before you do anything, before you say anything, before you worked on anything. There's something, you have Mishkan Shaikes. That's not, that's not an Emes statement. And it doesn't really encourage us... And as a, as a side note, I don't think it encourages us to become having a Shaikes if we announce that we don't have a Shaikes. You have me a Shaikes. Now we have to strengthen our hiskashrus. If we know that there is a

1:09:43 Speaker 1 yesod, if we know that there is a hiskashrus, now we could work on the hiskashrus. We could develop the hiskashrus. We could live with the hiskashrus. We could make it that it perme-permeates our whole life, and that's our job as Hasidim to be mekushar to the Rebbe. But it's not to create a connection 'cause there is a connection. There is a connection, and I think i-it's one of the reasons why the Rebbe says in the, in the, in the famous letter of Gimel Tammuz, Tov Shin Yud. The Rebbe says that that this is something that you have to really bang your mind into this idea, that hu, hu hanasi beharosh. Mimen hu vead yade is all of the hashpas. That's like the beginning. It's the beginning. It's the foundation. And it's something the Rebbe says every Hasid especially must know. It's not okay to think the Rebbe is a Baal HaChai Kodesh, even though the Rebbe is a Baal HaChai Kodesh, or a goen, or all of those beautiful things the Rebbe says in the beginning of this letter. The Rebbe says it's, it's true that the Rebbe is all of those things, but that's not the Ikar. And it's not okay to not be aware of the Ikar, 'cause if we're not aware of the Ikar, then we don't know what hiskashrus is. And then, and then it becomes very hard to navigate what it means to be a Hasid of the Rebbe. Now, all of these stories are really just an expression. Uh,

1:11:26 Speaker 1 just as in like it's meaningless, but they are an expression of the hiskashrus, of the connection, I'm gonna say, of the connection that the Rebbe has to us, and of how the Rebbe holds onto us, and how the Rebbe pays attention to us, and the Rebbe is aware of what's happening by us. So that's really the point of all of these stories and all of these, um, anecdotes and tidbits that we hear. We have to like stop and think, "So what do I see here? What do I understand from here? What comes out from here?"

1:12:12 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

1:12:13 Speaker 1 In other words, just like it's a Dvar HaPashut that if we hear a story that the Rebbe was misyaches to a Shliach in a certain way, you know, especially we hear in the first early years, every Shliach got a certain thing and a certain yechidus and a certain expression that the Rebbe said about the Shlichus, we understand, like, you know, it's almost, uh, so pashut that, yeah, every Shliach who goes out, that what the Rebbe said about the Shliach in Tov Shin Yud and Tov Shin Chaf and in Tov Shin Lamed, even if the Rebbe said it to a particular Shliach, in when the Rebbe said, the Mashal. Everyone knows that it means the Rebbe is with every single Shliach. Well, the Rebbe only said it to one Shliach. That statement that the Rebbe said to the one Shliach is a Binyan Av, is a yesod. It becomes the foundation of what we know of how the Rebbe is with every single Shliach.

1:13:19 Speaker 3 Um, are, are the-- Do you find that Bacharim today have a easier or harder time with this, with knowing this fact?

1:13:37 Speaker 1 It's hard for me to know how Bacharim felt, Amal. Um, I definitely think that, uh-

1:13:44 Speaker 3 Meaning, I mean, in your case-

1:13:47 Speaker 1 I definitely think-

1:13:47 Speaker 3 You're, you're one of the people from the Yuds that had the, that, that, that had the, had it live.

1:13:54 Speaker 1 Um, I definitely think that, um, that, that it's more, that it's much more difficult today. Um, and, um, I think that sometimes we gloss it over, and we either we assume or we're afraid to think about it, or we're not sure what to do about it. But I, I definitely from my little corner of where I speak to and have a Kesher with Bacharim, I definitely feel that it's, um, it's, it's a challenge, and it's a difficult thing. Um, I think that, um, for sure when it, when, uh, for sure when it comes to the, you know, to feeling it and experiencing it, um, it's, it's very difficult. And I think that they sometimes have advi, I'm not like saying that there's a problem with them, but I think it's natural. Like they, they have a certain, um, natural, um, feeling or assumption that we don't really have it, and this person who stood in seven seventy, he really has it. You know, I don't have it. And I'm sure that when he stood by the Rebbe, he felt like this, and I don't feel like that. And then they try to understand why don't they feel, and they're not sure what they're supposed to feel. And that becomes a very-- First of all, it's very subtle, and it's very, very difficult. I, I w- I walk-- I went into the oyhel, and I didn't feel anything. How many times the Bochum say that? How many times did I, I hear that from Bochum? How

1:15:43 Speaker 1 many times the Bochum ask, "So how could we be Hasidim today when we don't see the Rebbe by the farbrengens? When we don't see the Rebbe coming into davening in shul?" And I'm not talking about us having this question from a person, from a bochur who, who, uh, vest achis, he's, he's, uh, you know, spending his days, you know, playing and running around. I'm talking about bochurim who are already sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. They've been spending years and years learning and farbrengen and davening, and they could spend Shabbosim by the oyhel and maybe a few weeks during the year by the oyhel, and they still struggle with it. It still bothers them. It's still, you know, it's, it's there. It's there. Um, now the answer is that you, you could become a Hasid today the same way you were able to be a Hasid then. I definitely think that it's more difficult today. And I don't think that, um, we benefit from saying it. No, it's not harder, it's just the same. It, it is much more difficult. We are in galus. Galus So to say no, it's not-- Of course it's... The definition of galus is that it's a Helim ve'Hester. The definition of Helim ve'Hester is that it's more difficult, and there's nothing-- there's something wrong with not acknowledging that it's more difficult. It is more difficult, but the method is the same. It's the same Rebbe, the same hiskashrus to the Rebbe, and it's the same avoda that we need to

1:17:26 Speaker 1 be mekushar to the Rebbe. Because a person who stood by the Rebbe had the zchus to see the Rebbe and danced by the Rebbe and see the Rebbe by a farbrengen mechol v'chol didn't become a Hasid automatically. He then had to make a choice. Is he going to be a Hasid? In other words, is he going to be a Hasid? Not is he connected to the Rebbe. Of course, he's connected to the Rebbe. Is he gonna be a-- become a Hasid or is he gonna, you know, be lazy and go to sleep? And maybe a lot, a lot of people made that choice. Um, now easier? It was easier for a few reasons. There was-- There's just like a very practical reason. Like you could almost feel like a Hasid without doing anything because I was there and I saw, and I danced, and I sang, and there was a new licor that came out. There was just like a certain avir, and that, that, that creates a certain-- even if it's a little bit superficial. Superficial doesn't mean fake. Superficial means chitzonios. But, but, um, y-y- but you know, and besides for that, you know, there's no shailah. You know, if I heard the Rebbe say, I heard the Rebbe say, I just now saw. I was by a kaf yes, and I was... And, and, and, and I saw the Rebbe dancing with the Sefirah, and, and I was out of this whole universe that they give me a very strong boost, and

1:19:02 Speaker 1 that could definitely make it very clear, um, how to go about things. But avoda is da- is definitely easier than the now. But the inyan is the same. The inyan is the same. The same things. It, it-- All those things that we see in the, uh, in anda averter, all those things that the Rebbe says in the sichas, especially in taf shin yud, but really throughout, that how do you strengthen your hiskashrus? You strengthen your hiskashrus through limud haTorah of the Rebbe, and through living by the Rebbe's Torah, which ask him, But to implement what the Rebbe says in your life. In your life means sign practical, the dos and the don'ts, to learn Rambam and to learn Chitas and so on and so forth. And it also means, um, maybe even in a deeper way, it means to your hashkafas hachaim, your yiras shamayim, your attitude towards a blad gemara. You're for sure, your attitude towards another Yid and towards Avodas Yisroel and towards the whole, you know, of doing mitzvos to mekarev Yid to Yiddishkeit. Your whole, your whole life is changed through that's the inyan of limud Torah. So The Rebbe didn't say it about taf shin pei hei. The Rebbe said it about taf shin yud and taf shin yud alef and taf shin yud beis. In other words, the-- when, when, when the Rebbe quotes Nahayemim from the that wasn't only for after Gimel Tammuz. That was for in what we call Shon Im Tikku L'kulon, when we were able

1:20:57 Speaker 1 to see the Rebbe, and when the Rebbe came out to farbrengens and sat for hours with us. Which is another thing that we don't even so much appreciate enough is how many hours the Rebbe Poshet came to spend with the Chassidim. Poshet. In the past. That the Rebbe-- that none of the Rabbeim did this. The Rebbe would Poshet come and sit for hours, no Chanand with the Chassidim. I mean, you have some Farbrengens that are, takes hours. I mean, this is mind-boggling. We-we're like almost used to it like, oh, the Rebbe only Farbrengen for two hours on 57 days. Like as if it's like two hours? But, but in other words, it was like a Rebbe Poshet. The Rebbe Farbrengens for four or five hours on a Shabbos afternoon in 57 days. We don't, we don't even-- We, we like-- Be-because the Rebbe in, in, in, in-- The Rebbe Poshet, the Rebbe gist in a, in a often that, that, that, that, that didn't happen before. And it was almost like the Rebbe was-- Rebbe Poshet wanted to spend time with the Chassidim. I, I, I'm saying, and it's in that statement, Rebbe Poshet wanted to spend time with the Chassidim.

1:22:16 Speaker 5 Yeah. I heard a recording from Avraham Mayer Farbrengen. In later years, Nun maybe, like in test, I don't know, some-- He's talking. I heard a rec-- I heard a recording of him talk in Farbrengen, and he says this, that the Rebbe is giving out dollars. He says the Rebbe Poshet wants the . The Rebbe wants to know, the Rebbe wants to know the crowd. The Rebbe wants to be with the crowd. The Rebbe Poshet is spending time with us.

1:22:42 Speaker 1 True.

1:22:43 Speaker 5 That's what he says. That was, that was his explanation. Which was nice when it was happening of, of, of dollars and everything.

1:22:50 Speaker 1 But it's, but it's that is-- It isn't a normal thing. And even looking, you get the later years, Nun Alef. In every opportunity, dollars. And, and for sure, the the hours that the Rebbe stood on Sukkos for the, for the dollars many more. And after the day after Yom Kippur-

1:23:09 Speaker 5 Nun Beis

1:23:09 Speaker 1 ... give out dollars Nun Beis. Or the day after Yom Kippur, Nun Beis, to give out dollars to the children. The fact that the Rebbe sat with the children for rallies and for like Boimer parades. We, we were so born into it. Of course, the Rebbe gives out dollars. I mean, what do you think? You know, I almost thought that this is like, yeah, this is what a Rebbe does. But anyways, the point is when it says and Rebbe says in the letter, the Rebbe is gonna that seeing the Rebbe is not enough. The Rebbe is not talking about 57 PH. The Rebbe is talking about the years that we were able to see the Rebbe. In other words, my point is that his Kashrus didn't change, and the way to become a Kosher didn't change. It's more difficult. We're in Helim VeHester. It is more difficult. And we have to sometimes put in more effort, and we have to be a little bit more stubborn, and we need to, you know... We don't have the-- We don't have a lot of the maki. It's a very powerful thing. But how to become a Kosher? The same way we were always able to become a Kosher.

1:24:38 Speaker 5 So my question is-- So I'm thinking about what you're saying. So, um, I, I would say that what I, what I do basically with my life, which is the her, which is essentially what we're doing is helping people with-- to give them tools to, to, to... For this Aveida of being Me'eida, this Kashrus. It's obviously not the only tool 'cause you have to learn the Rebbe's Sichas and Memodim and whatever. But this is one of the tools. What we're doing here right now is, is part of that. The cha- the, the challenge... Sometimes I look at like the bird's-eye view, you know, of Klalos Anash. Just because I'm involved, I mean, I think everyone should care about the Klalos Anash, but, uh, for that, that I'm trying to interact with A- with Anash and, uh, hopefully have some type of influence. So the, basically, what I find is that they're very... You know, there's also, this has been said so many times, and it's true, that because it's harder, it's a harder Aveida, it's much more deeper. It's much more real. And that's why you have Bachurim that know more than people who are Mamol and more connected to that. I'm saying this is all fact. Um, the hard part is that since it's an Aveida, there are certain people that just don't do it. But they're called the Baal Teshuva Chassidim, and they-- The, the, the Rebbe is But they're not doing it. They're not looking for it. They're not trying. Whatever. They didn't

1:26:22 Speaker 5 have, they didn't have it. They didn't get that value from their home or whichever Yeshiva they went to or whate-whatev-whatever the... And, um, so sometimes it's like, okay, so the same crowd is al- is always engaging and looking and trying to enhance and, and become more c- more connected. But then you have a whole bunch of people that aren't. But from the Satan's eye, you see that without us, without us doing anything, the Rebbe's influence in the world is, uh, stronger and Shtarker and Lebdikerer more than it ever was. So it's not a question of the Rebbe, it's a question in, in Chassidim. Um, to that, that in my mind is just something that to, in to-- that today is there, there's, there's, um... It's a problem It's a problem. So I don't know if you deal with this because maybe the Bachim in your, in your Yeshiva are the ones that are Dafka looking for it. I, I, I don't know. May-maybe, maybe it's not your... But ultimately, I don't know if it's a question. I, I guess it's a-- It's either a question of, of what to do or, or how or... Meaning there's a certain thing that was before Kimu Tamuz, which was automatically everyone's in. And let's say Moshiach, yeah. The Rebbe was talking about Moshiach, and if you're a Lubavitcher, you, you, you're part of it, you know. Even if you're not You know what I'm saying? Like, like, like everyone. And today, you know, it's not always like that.

1:28:02 Speaker 5 Obviously, the core is like that. People, people like, uh, the Shamas are connected to Rebbe, and it's more than the Shamas. It's, you know, it's their life choices. And so how, how... I'm just... I don't know if you, if you know how, how is that addressed. One of the integral components of being a Hasid are the Chassidishe Yamim Tovim and Yemei Depagra. Whether it's Hey Teves, Yut Shvat, Yud Aleph Nisan, or Kimu Tamuz. These days give us an opportunity to connect with our Rebbeim, to connect with each other, and be better Hasidim. What is the story behind each of these days? How did the Rebbe commemorate and celebrate these days? And most importantly, what are the lessons, the takeaways, and the action items, HaMa'aseh Hu Ha'Ikker needed for each of these days? All of this and much, much more are answered in the new set recently published by Der Her. Our Days is a journey through the Chabad calendar in story, meaning, and practice. With over seven hundred beautiful glossy pages with elevated content, beautiful, beautiful photographs, you, your family, and friends will enjoy and live with each Chassidishe Yamim Tov. This book is a must for every Lubavitcher home, for every shul, for every school. It is a perfect gift item. This will not collect dust. It will be used day after day, month after month, year after year. You can have this set. Go to derher.org/ourdays. Order your set today and start living like Chassidishe Yamim Tov. I don't have the answers to

1:29:50 Speaker 5 your questions, but I would, I would say two things. One thing I would say is, I'm not saying one is first, one is second, but one thing I would say is . What does it mean? It means that when you taste it, when you taste it in the right way, it is the most Geshmake, fulfilling, uplifting, and elevating thing. How do you get a guy to learn? That, that... What does it mean that you successfully got a person to learn? You didn't successfully get a person to learn, even though I tell that a lot of times to the Bachim, . You haven't got a person to learn until he learned and felt that it's to learn. It's enjoyable. I wanna do it more. It, it's really, really Geshmake. If a person tastes what it means to actually really be a Hasid, that your life should be according to the Rebbe, according to Chassidus, which is one thing, obviously. And the more you apply it, and the more you make changes because of it, and the more you connect, the more you write to the Rebbe. The more you know that when you're writing to the Rebbe, you're able to write to the Rebbe about things that are happening in your life, sai personally, which is extremely important, and sai in the way you interact with others, whether you are on Shlichus or even if you're not on Shlichus and you're spending your extra time doing Mivtzoim or the people you meet on your business, you

1:31:54 Speaker 5 do Mivtzoim with them . You , it's , it feels good, it feels right, it feels, it feels, it feels, it fills you up in a way that nothing else could. In other words, , but this is-- That, that's, that's, that's one thing. In other words, a lot of times we haven't f-- we haven't tasted it. Now, how do you taste it? That's, that's the question, but, but that's one thing that I think is very important. Another thing is to, to really, um... I, I think it has two points. The Rebbe would often mention that you should go out to a Yid and tell the Yid you're a Ben Avraham, Yitzchak, v'Yaakov. And when he realizes and recognizes that he's a Ben Avraham, Yitzchak, v'Yaakov, then that will cause him to make a change because his identity became clear to him. And when his identity is clear to him, so then he's-- It could-- It doesn't take overnight, but then he could slowly start setting up his lifestyle and his life choices and his life derech according to what's past, Ben Avraham, Yitzchak, v'Yaakov

1:33:13 Speaker 1 If we could find a way to-- in a constant way, for not once a year, you know, before Yud Aleph Nisan, VeHayyei Tzaddik Bazeh, and there's a big... You know, it has to be in a more constant way to bring out for, especially for Anash, that you have a Rebbe. Not that, you know, I'm part of Lubavitch, and Lubavitch has a big Rebbe, and there's a big Shlichus, and there's... And, and no, Lubavitch is Lubavitch. But the all of bifrat, you have a Rebbe, and you are connected to the Rebbe, and what you do matters to the Rebbe and makes a difference. You know, there's the famous letter the Rebbe writes. It's in Igros Kodesh Chelek Daled about the, the, the, the Chassid who wants to go to college. And the Rebbe writes him one letter before that, you know, if you go to college, you're schlepping the Rebbe with you to college. Now, even before we go further, just a powerful concept here. You're so connected to the Rebbe that if you make a choice to go to college, you're schlepping the Rebbe with you to college. It's not mussar. So you better not go because you're schlepping the Rebbe to college. The Rebbe is so attached to you that if you go to college, you're schlepping the Rebbe with you to college. That's the tone. It's very different. Then the Rebbe continues in the next letter. The Rebbe says, "You didn't answer me, but if you're gonna say a very scary thing, okay.

1:35:00 Speaker 1 I don't wanna schlep the Rebbe with me to college, so I'll let go. I'll let go. Rachmana litzlan, I'll let go so I can go to college." The Rebbe says, "If his kashrus would be from you to the Rebbe, so then you can take it and say that. But the Rebbe is holding on to you." I think the language is Becheveli Avos. It could be I'm wrong in the language. But for sure, very strong language. The Rebbe is holding on to you very tight. So you could leave, go from today till tomorrow. Aber the Rebbe vet ale mol onhalten in dir. You're a-- You are someone who the Rebbe holds on to. You are someone that the Rebbe is looking out for and the Rebbe's holding on to. So you can't run away from being the Rebbe's mensch. You could run away from living as the Rebbe's mensch. Du bist alemol dem Rebbe'n kind. Which means the Rebbe is always looking out and waiting and, and it works the opposite way around also. If you make a foolish choice, then you're schlepping the Rebbe with you in that choice. And that's, that's, that's an uvda. That's a fact. That's not if I'm very, very mikushe and I kneech my eyes this way. I have nothing against kneeching your eyes. I'm not, I'm not belitting, belitting. And if I learn twenty Mamarim, and if I'm by every farbrengen, and if I say a lot of l'chaim, so then I'm a Chassid from the Rebbe, and then

1:36:31 Speaker 1 whatever I do matters to the Rebbe, and then I have to behave like a normal human being, and I have to be a Chassid. Every single member of Anash. By extension, I think we could say it about every single Yid. But it's Yiddishe shlechinut. Every single member of Anash needs to know this. As du bist a, du bist a mensch, because you're a person that the Rebbe is holding on to you. You're a person that the Rebbe is thinking about. You have a connection to the Rebbe in a personal way. You may not do anything about it. You may not invest anything for it. You may almost never think about it. But the Rebbe is thinking about you. Your neshamah is a part from the Rebbe's neshamah. The Rebbe's the neshamah klali. That's what it means that the Rebbe's the neshamah klali. So that means we have to taitch it up, b'rachol bitachtam, that you, me, him, are a part from the Rebbe's neshamah. That means that's the end of it. There's no how much I did, how much I didn't do. Now, it doesn't mean it's not a discount, and therefore I don't have to do anything. It's actually just the opposite in the way the Rebbe looks at it. Ebazei, not only I need to do something about it, I wanna do something about it. I think so many of us end up feeling like, "Yeah, I'm a Lubavitcher, and I'm very proud of Chabad. And for sure I'm with the same Chabad,

1:38:13 Speaker 1 and I, I'm, I'm gonna stand with the shita of Chabad. And I don't like when, when, when people speak against Chabad, and I'm so proud every time there's something about Chabad." But it's not me, it's Chabad. So then whatever. Then I could really say, I want to enjoy life, kvedayachol. I'm not saying kvedayachol 'cause it's not enjoyable, but it's kvedayachol because you also have a neshamah. If you're only a guf, so then it's enjoyment. But you're also a neshamah. Not only are you also a neshamah, your neshamah is your ikar. You know, I wanna just enjoy life. I wanna have a good time. And I'm anyways not this big mikushe. So I may as well just have a good time, and I'll support. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll support a Shliach. I'll support a yeshiva. I'll support a program of people becoming connected to the Rebbe. But it's-- Before you start it, it's already personal. And if you'll allow me, I will add one more nekuda. And this one more nekuda is I think that things became so distorted. I'm gonna try not to go on to, on a rant. Things became so distorted by the time we got to Tachsin Pei Hey. You know, there's this, this, there's this, uh, shiur from the Friediker Rebbe. I'm-- I don't re-- I think it's like Be'emat HaChassidim. I don't remember. The Friediker Rebbe says about the people who mix in chiddush to their things, to their ideas, and therefore it has a kernel of truth, and therefore

1:39:51 Speaker 1 it sells. I mean, the Friediker Rebbe doesn't say the language it sells, but that's the concept. You know, you can attract people to it 'cause you put in some real chiddush, so there's some emes here. The Friediker Rebbe says it bachlah, that all the emes's zach that we find in the Chochmei HaShalom is really its source is in Torah, and that's why it holds water. So things became very distorted. and because things became very distorted, I think people are not truly aware of what is the Rebbe's shita and what is the Derech of Chabad. And I think sometimes very sincere student, I've seen it so many times, who are really like they're Mekushe and they're devoted and they wanna do what's right. They just don't know. They think, "Oh, yeah, this is the way we do it in Chabad." This is like, this is the Chabad way. I mean, if I would have another two hours, I would give you 20 examples, but my point is-

1:40:58 Speaker 6 I just saw an example the other day.

1:40:59 Speaker 1 That what?

1:41:03 Speaker 6 Debating if we should get into the nitty-gritty. I gotta give an example.

1:41:07 Speaker 1 Okay, give an example and we'll see how far we go.

1:41:10 Speaker 6 Every-- Some were-- Everyone's sending around. I don't wanna like... But anyways, someone's sending around, everyone's sending around pictures of, uh, basically a Lubavitcher person, female holding a gun, part of the IDF. And, uh, very nice, Israel, you know. And we know that the Rebbe spoke about-

1:41:32 Speaker 1 How beautiful it is.

1:41:33 Speaker 6 Yeah. We, we actually wrote a whole article on the Rebbe, the Rebbe's, the Achas with Sahal and the, the, and the, the Prasha, the Gashmius, uh, protecting Yid- millions of Yidden. I mean, this is amazing. It happens to be that Torah and the Rebbe believes that having women in the army is actually, since it's not allowed according to Torah, it's putting at risk millions of Jews because it's not being done according to Torah. And I see very good people just like sending around, I mean, happy. I mean, like, do you know that this is a problem with Torah? And the Rebbe spoke about this and, and the Rebbe advocated that it shouldn't happen and, and the Rebbe said that, the Rebbe said these, that, that, that, that-

1:42:15 Speaker 1 This is actually from the Rebbe

1:42:16 Speaker 6 ... that it's putting people in danger 'cause it's not, because it's not, the army's not being accord-- done according to the Torah. That's a good example. Just like lack of knowledge.

1:42:24 Speaker 1 That's a beautiful example.

1:42:25 Speaker 6 Yeah.

1:42:25 Speaker 1 And it doesn't come from other Rebbe. It could come from a place, the Rebbe supports Sahal and this is so beautiful and this is so amazing. And yeah, other Rebbe, the fact that it's paraded is actually a good point. These things become paraded. We're on a podcast, it becomes podcasted, and it becomes, "Yeah, this is the way it is." And I heard it from someone who is a Lubavitcher. I mean, I'm not saying I heard, I'm saying like people say, "What, what do you mean? This is..."

1:42:55 Speaker 6 Yeah.

1:42:56 Speaker 1 I, I mean, there's, there's unfortunately many, many examples about this. And, and it-- So what happens is that becomes a third very big, very, I think very, um, significant leg in this problem. In other words, if we're not standing on strong Yesodis of basic Yiras Shamayim, of basic Chidush, of basic Hashkafah of the Rebbe, then we can't be strong in his Kashrus, and we can't. We can't have the proper guidance, and we can't have the proper Chayim, Chayim Zotera, the, the, the, the wall, the gate that keeps us in the right way and keeps us, um, very firm and very courageous and unapologetic. But we don't know. We don't know. We don't know. You know, I've been asked, um, I've been asked beneath to, to, um, uh, smartphones, unfiltered smartphones. The Chayay Tzimmezah. So I've been asked by, by, by, by Lubavitchers, Lubavitcher girls, you know, should-- What was the Nusach of the question? Should we be... It was something along the lines like this. The Nusach was, should we be uncomfortable that the girls who go to Bais Yaakov, they're not Lubavitcher girls, um, you know, have a higher standard regarding the cell-- have a different standard regarding the cell phones? Or no, we should be very proud. This is who we are, and this is the way we do it. So I said, "One second. Hold on a minute. What is the Lubavitch, what is the Lubavitch Hashkafah about having access to the internet?"

1:44:59 Speaker 6 Open access.

1:45:00 Speaker 1 Yeah. Open, open access to the internet. Oh, there's even a question here? Okay. Now it's a little bit different in that area. Same question came up with Tznius. Same question came up with Tznius. So I answered, when it comes to a Sheitel, obviously Sheitel Achus have Halachas, but obviously we're talking about a proper Sheitel. When it comes to a Sheitel, we should be very proud that we wear a Sheitel. The Rebbe said, "Davka a Sheitel and not a Tichel," and we have to be proud and strict about never being in public with a Tichel, only with a Sheitel. But when it comes to Tznius, I say it's the Rebbe Gizok that we maybe have to learn from them sometimes. My point isn't that we have to learn from them or from here. My point is we don't know. Sometimes we just don't know. And it's such a strong Tichah from the Rebbe. I don't know. I think it's the only time the Rebbe said it, but for me it was like it literally changed such a big shift in my mind The Rebbe says in, I think it's Parshas Balak, . It's in that . Um, the Rebbe speaks about-- It's like in the middle of a whole bunch of things, like , or like you, you, you gotta learn it to know it. Um, the Rebbe says that by Avraham Avinu, it says . By Bilaam, it says . It both means, uh, donkey. So that was what's the difference? It just-- It, it

1:46:46 Speaker 1 poshut shifts. It sounds subtle, but it makes such a massive difference in our approach to these . The Rebbe says, when you say the word , it rather reminds us of the tale of the Baal Shem Tov, .

1:47:09 Speaker 6 You have to work with it.

1:47:11 Speaker 1 You have to work with it. You have to transform it. You have to use it for Hashem. It's not about destroying it. It's not about breaking it. Everyone knows that, and that's like a fundamental part of Siddur Chabad, and it is. It is. But then the Rebbe says, by Bilaam, it says . Why? Because Bilaam's donkey was used by Bilaam for Averas, for , as Rashi points out. So what does that teach us? The Rebbe says, what happened to Bilaam's donkey? Bilaam's donkey was killed. So the Rebbe says, when do we say if it wasn't yet a for you? If you did not yet stumble, if this , whatever it may be, was never a stumbling block for you in your Hashem, so then the attitude is . But if this is a that you already stumbled upon, it already caused you to do something wrong, it already caused you to go away from your Hashem, so then we don't say . Then we say . You have to kill it. You have to destroy it. That's a very big difference. That changes, literally changes our whole understanding, I think, of . Of yet nothing is and everything is . We just have to use it for Hashem. No, not everything. Not everything. Everything is potentially-- Even though even certain things, a needs to be its, its way of is to destroy it. But, but, um, um, even part of the things which, uh, which, which don't have the potential of being used for, for

1:49:10 Speaker 1 Hashem, if you stumbled on it, then you need, you need to destroy it. You don't need to use it for Hashem. I don't know if there's many other times the Rebbe says this in a quote, but it's, it, it's... After I saw it, I was like, "It's so passionate." Like, it makes so much sense. Like, it's not a , but we have such a... So that's what I'm saying. When things become so... You know, you use a kernel of what the Rebbe says, and you apply it to a bunch of things, and then we make , and then we probably don't know what's of the Rebbe , and what is the Rebbe's , what is the Rebbe-- what is the Rebbe's education, and what's the Rebbe's outlook and approach? Because, you know, we, we, we, either because things are taken out of context, either because things are twisted a little bit. Some of these subtle things, you twist it a little bit, and you are way offline. So I think if we would put these three things together, I don't know what's the right order. If we put these three, these . If you sit-- Let's not start with a full hour. If you sit and you find a simple for a half hour, just watch the Rebbe, get it with subtitles, close the lights, set up a half hour without your phone, and watch the Rebbe saying a about anything. You're not ready for a full five, six-hour now. That's fine. But you'll see

1:50:49 Speaker 1 that it's, it does something to you. Listen to the Rebbe speaking. Go to sleep, put on , listen to a . It's a different-- Do things. Start doing the little things. You'll probably see how it is. Have a Seder of learning. Not learning as in rattling off. Have a Seder in learning and absorbing of from the Rebbe, or from the Rebbe, or look at the from the Rebbe. Choose whatever it is that works for you. Either do it with a or do it with a . But do it, like, in a real way, in an intense way, even if it's for a short amount of time. Learn it, absorb it, think about it. Take it through your day. Make it, make it, make it a point. Like, probably have it-- You could have it on your calendar, a reminder, three times a day, or once a day, or three times a week, where you're like, a reminder at three o'clock in the afternoon to call back and think over what I learned this morning, or I learned yesterday morning from the Rebbe's . And what, what does it mean to me? And, and, and what, what could it do for me? And how does it apply to me? And how does it apply to the way I make decisions, or to the way I run my life, or to how I, I speak to my children, or how I interact with them, or how I do my or how I talk to my ? So

1:52:15 Speaker 1 that's what Ɣam ura'u kitei Hashem. It's Pashet Geshmak. Then remembering that mir zaynen kinder fun Rebbe. We belong to the Rebbe. We're connected to the Rebbe in a personal way. You are connected to the Rebbe. But the whole of Babich doesn't exist. The Rebbe looks at you. And the third thing is to Pashet, let's get back to really the basics of what the Rebbe, of what the Rebbe says, of what the Rebbe holds, of what the Rebbe teaches, of what the Rebbe-- What type of lifestyle in, in, in, in, in, in, in simple words that, that we use today, what type of lifestyle does the Rebbe advocate? Not what does it feel good today and what's popular tomorrow, and what changes after tomorrow. It's set, it's clear, it's focused, it's guided, and the Rebbe is holding your hand. The Rebbe is holding your hand. I remember there was, uh, one of the farbrengens when I was learning in Marist on Rabbi, Rabbi Sara Bronski, who's now a shliach in Colorado, I think, was then the mashgiach. So he was farbrengen. One of his farbrengens. He farbrenged a, a few times, not many times, but he farbrenged. He's a very geshmak, very, he's a very geshmak yid. So I remember he was farbrengen, and it like it hit me. He said, "You know, you could try your own path." Now, he had a, he has a, he has like a, he has a interesting way of bringing something out. Like, "Then you could try your own

1:53:55 Speaker 1 path. Go ahead, try your own path. Go your own way. You know, maybe you'll be matzliach. Maybe you won't be matzliach." But he said, "If you go in the Rebbe's derech, you have a guarantee." It's the Rebbe's path. It's the Rebbe's way. There's no doubts. There's no questions. And you will be matzliach. You will be matzliach. And that in itself will help you, I'm, I'm hesitant to use the word, but will help you feel connected, will help you feel part of it. Not feel part of klal haChasidim. Pashet feel that you're connected to the Rebbe. Because the Rebbe Pashet affects your life. I'm not even talking about the zgulah shabasa. Pashet in a gashmius nika, the Rebbe affects your life. The Rebbe teaches you. The Rebbe's guiding you. The Rebbe's helping you navigate your day-to-day life. And it's so available for us right there. Could you imagine? The Rebbe could help you navigate your day-to-day life. It's right there. It's right there. It's behesegad. How do we have it in, in the parasha? Lo bashamayim hi, v'lo me'ever layom hi, ki karev eilecha adaber mei. I think that would-- E-even in my life, if I would be more focused on that more often, it Pashet would, I think it would make a, a very big... Now, at the end of the day, everyone has chrei achshis, and yeah, someone could just say, "You know what? I, I, I enjoy my mazel."

1:55:39 Speaker 6 And everyone has a yitzar harah as well.

1:55:40 Speaker 1 And every-everyone has a yitzar harah, besides from me. But, but the point is, this is by the way, it's tam as a side note. When everyone has a yitzar harah, and that means everyone stumbles. But there is stumbling, and there is making it a shita, that this is okay. Very, very different. Very, very different. Very, very different. And that's-

1:56:10 Speaker 6 We're saying that I wanna be honest because I gave in to the yitzar harah so many times, and now I'm gonna be honest and give in-

1:56:16 Speaker 1 Exactly

1:56:16 Speaker 6 ...give in to him all of the time.

1:56:17 Speaker 1 Exactly. The Rebbe says that from the sicha that a person says that the, the Achashverosh, Achashverosh sicha, hayodua. What's the one, what's the Rebbe's hihara? That a person could think that I'm being a hypocrite, the Rebbe says. I'm being a hypocrite. So therefore, the Rebbe says, "B'mkom b'rket." The Rebbe, I don't think the Rebbe stresses it this way, but it's the opposite. You're being a hypocrite the other times. Who are you for real?

1:56:41 Speaker 6 That's the story of the Chassid of the Lemmel Ash.

1:56:44 Speaker 1 The what?

1:56:45 Speaker 6 With the Levushim.

1:56:46 Speaker 1 Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:56:47 Speaker 6 He came to the Lemmel Ash, and he says that, uh, the Lemmel Ash says, "Why are you wearing your, your business clothes?" He says, "I stopped wearing it when I came to Lubavitch. I stopped putting on the Chassidish clothes when I came to Lubavitch because I decided, you know, that that's binich. Who am I fooling? I'm fooling the Rebbe." And the Lemmel Ash said, "Ich ka gezei, I thought you were fooling the world when you put on the business clothes."

1:57:09 Speaker 1 Exactly. One hundred percent. But this really goes back also to this nekuda of just one more of the, of the parading and advertising the, the, the, um, the, the, the pictures and the, "I did this and I did that." In other words, it becomes that's how slowly... Now, the first time someone sees it, and the tenth time someone sees it, they're like, "Oh." And the hundredth time, it's like, "Yeah, this is what we do." How did the Rebbe say? The Rebbe says in the sicha, the Rebbe says, as when-- I mean, uh, that the, that the politician know, if you say a very big lie, the Rebbe refers to Yimach Shemo, the Rebbe says from, from, from Ich bin shog in zei namen. The Rebbe refers to from, from Germany, that as when you say a great seligen, a sah, a sah mol-

1:58:02 Speaker 6 Yeah. That, that was one of the, that was a Nazi, uh, slogan.

1:58:06 Speaker 1 Yeah. Exactly. You say a big lie very, very often, it'll be accepted. It'll be accepted. Now, I, I think most people are not malicious. I, I think most people don't do it. I really believe that most people do it because they really believe in it And, and that's part of... I guess that's makes it-- I don't know if it makes it more sad or less sad, but I don't think people are being malicious. But with pale mamish, you know, that's-- And, and that really could lead us to another thing if, if that is we have to be careful what are we al-what are we allowing into ourselves? What are we absorbing? I mean, this is really a whole conversation for itself, but you know, how many hours a day... Okay, there's the hours of the day that we have to, we have to... I'm not talking about that. How many hours a day are we absorbing a sikha, a maimer, a fabringen, a briv? And if I move on any part of Torah, and how many hours a day are we absorbing from

1:59:49 Speaker 6 It's a mathematical equation.

1:59:51 Speaker 1 Yeah. It's a basic math. Exactly. It's basic math. Even an can figure out this math. I don't know if today you're allowed to say that, right? A mom and was proud to be an who doesn't know how to read and doesn't understand math. I'm all... Whatever. Today, you have to like-

2:00:08 Speaker 6 That's why the

2:00:09 Speaker 1 created calculators. For .

2:00:12 Speaker 6 Yeah.

2:00:13 Speaker 1 But my point is that we have to be aware. It's not like an extreme or this is not for extreme Hasidim. Nothing extreme about it. If you want to be a certain type of person, and you wanna live a certain type of lifestyle, you can't shoot yourself in the foot and fight against what you want to, what you want your goal to be. If you wanna amass millions of dollars in your bank account, you can't have a hole in the bottom of your, of, of your, of, of your, what's it called? Of your safe-

2:00:43 Speaker 6 Your wallet

2:00:43 Speaker 1 ... where the money's falling out, in the bottom of your wallet, because then it's not gonna hold the money. You can't. You can't do it. You can't, you can't have that. You can't have that. It just doesn't work. And how do I know it doesn't work? We all know it doesn't work because come out and see . You just have to open up your eyes. You just have to open up your eyes. And especially that today, it's mamash . There are so many... Okay, the highest caliber of vocabulary or not, but there's so many. First of all, you have , so that's the , you know. And, and, and-

2:01:22 Speaker 6 Interesting

2:01:23 Speaker 1 ... no . It's , it's entertaining. It, it has good... In other words, it's, you don't have to sit and learn. You could read it. Plus you have so many of the-

2:01:32 Speaker 6 In general, the things that we do, things that we do, that's what we're trying to do.

2:01:36 Speaker 1 Huh?

2:01:36 Speaker 6 When you're not learning, you, you can have the-

2:01:39 Speaker 1 Exactly

2:01:39 Speaker 6 ...

2:01:39 Speaker 1 . Exactly. Or you have the new Sefer. I didn't get it yet, but I saw a few things, a few, a few pictures of it. The new Sefer about the days. These are things that you could read.

2:01:48 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

2:01:49 Speaker 1 Plus you have so much, even if you can't read it in the , in the original, in the , there's so much from Sikhes in English, from Rabbi Afつtsin. There's so much to read in English. Especially a lot, a lot of that you could push it, absorb, and read and learn and a ca-- and, and, and take into you, and that fills up your . If you're gonna fill up your with listening to this person and listening to that person, it's not a question, is it allowed? Sometimes, is this allowed? Is this, is this like asur? Is this mutar? Is it, is it Hasidish? Is it not Hasidish? You have to look at . At best, a very big amount of it just makes us... It, it, it ruins our mehus. It, it, like the says about , it ruins the mehus of the person. It just makes you prost. Makes you prost. And at worst, it brings a lot of goyishkeit. And that for sure doesn't help to being a Hasid. In other words, a person can't sit and invest his and his in, in, in, in , in , in just plain goyishkeit, and then wonder, "Why don't I feel his Kashos?" Uh, uh, you know, ask yourself, what are you even saying? Are you serious? There's something missing in, in the basic understanding of it.

2:03:21 Speaker 6 And this also ties into what you were saying before about, uh, phones. Maybe don't have access to the whole-

2:03:27 Speaker 1 Exactly

2:03:28 Speaker 6 ... that, that, that, that will help you not-

2:03:29 Speaker 1 Yeah. I think that's what the... The first person, I think, the first one to make a takana and to make a hagbala and a geda was not Satmar, the Rebbe. The Rebbe made two very big takanas in the early years of the Nisus. One was not to have a television. Not because every single thing on the television is bad. The same Rebbe which tells us that we should use the television to spread Yiddishkeit says, "You, you're not allowed to have a television." And it was a big fight, and it was a big mechabod. Every American from a home had a television . You hear it. I mean, today you hear sometimes a, a, a will, will, will slip out of his mouth. It's a, a, a television program he watched in the 1950s and '60s or '70s. In the Yuds, the Rebbe was one of the Rebbe mechabods. And the second thing that was a very big mechabod by the Rebbe was mechitzas by chassidus, by a shul. It's not like, "Oh, it's not the Lubavitch way to make, uh, to, to, uh, to aseh something, to, to say that this is not allowed." No. It, it's actually very Deishvi to do that. But there's a subtlety. To g- because it's emes, then there's a subtlety. It doesn't mean that we will not use the radio to spread Tanya.

2:04:59 Speaker 6 Although-

2:05:00 Speaker 1 It doesn't mean-

2:05:00 Speaker 6 ... uh, my, my eighth-grade graduation, Rabbi Rosenfeld, an

2:05:08 Speaker 1 , gave a whole speech about this. He says, "Well, we were at a certain point gonna kick out every kid from that had a television." told us not to. And his point was, "Fine, we're not gonna kick you out, but this is not, this is not fine to me." I'm not talking about kicking anyone out. I'm not talking about that. Fine. You, you-- this, this was, uh, very important words he said. I just wanna backtrack. Okay? We'll, uh, close this tab and go, and- Go back to an old tab. Yeah, we'll go back. Um, could you tell me a little bit about things that you wrote to the Rebbe in those years? 'Cause I know you had a few very-- a few interesting, uh, answers from the Rebbe, but the main is it. So the truth is, most of what we wrote to the Rebbe was, um... Most of what we wrote to the Rebbe was like in a Like, um, a report card from school, um, test grades. Um, we always wrote before To the Rebbe, you know, writing to the Rebbe that we took a certain Obviously, it was all thanks to my mother that we did it, but she told us to do it. She taught us to do it. And, um, you know, writing to the Rebbe, um, I think I, I think even writing to the Rebbe, a For the Rebbe. Not I think, I-I'm actually quite certain. We wrote to the Rebbe in the Letter, you know, a For

2:06:46 Speaker 1 the Rebbe to have... I don't know if the words were Or whatever it was, but like a For the Rebbe's birthday. It's a whole debate 'cause the Rebbe by the Would thank those that sent him Yeah. There was like a debate by, when I was a at least like, so does a write a to the Rebbe? Like, I don't know. Like Okay. So it's, it's, it's a good, it's a good question, but I was a kid, so I don't have to weigh, I don't have to weigh in on it. Um, and the truth is, almost every-- uh, not almost, I think every single thing we wrote to the Rebbe, we got a response from the Rebbe. I remember... We definitely-- I definitely never wrote anything to the Rebbe before my father passed away. It definitely became more natural to write to the Rebbe after everything the Rebbe was doing for us, and that's just a fact. Um, the Rebbe would almost always give an answer, um, even if it was a short answer. Um, I once wrote to the Rebbe, um... I wo- I wrote a letter to the Rebbe together with my sister. We wrote-- we sent it in together. It was like a joint letter. Um, and the que-- and it was, uh, just a, a question. When is Mashiach gonna come? I think, like, we were talking to my mother about it, and my mother said, "Just write to the Rebbe and ask the Rebbe," or something like that. So we... That's

2:08:37 Speaker 1 what we did. So it was around, it was, it was actually around the time of And, um, the Rebbe answered. I'll, I'll read the let- I'll read the That's my, that's my sister. You're gonna translate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me just read the whole thing, then I'll translate. I should read line by line and translate? Whatever, whatever you want. I just wanna get the whole, you know, you get the- Yeah, go, go. Um, is underlined. We didn't get an It was, like, rewritten by Label Groner. Now, we got it within a few days. We got it around I mean, was quite busy. And we gave it in maybe a day or two before And that means within a few days. This was, like, some emergency question to answer, at least. But for the Rebbe it was. So in English, the answer is... So again, the question is: When is Mashiach gonna come? So the Rebbe's response is: Hashem concealed the time of the coming of Mashiach. That's what the Is. When And then the Rebbe explains. When wanted to reveal to his children when Mashiach will come, Hashem concealed it from him. As is said over in And the Rebbe underlined The Rebbe underlined, "As is said over," or, "As is told in And then, I will mention you by the So that's, uh... I, I approached the Reb with this answer, the answer, "Yeah." So I'm gonna, you know-

2:11:18 Speaker 7 Do you remember what you felt then? Or what-

2:11:21 Speaker 1 I felt like a million dollars, and that was it. I didn't feel anything different. In other words, there was no... I mean, now I could sit and, uh, you know, learn Ein, Schat, and the, and the answer, and call me in a ways. But at the time, even though I thought the Reb, I mean, any time we wrote to the Reb, the Reb, uh, responded. So why shouldn't the Reb respond to this? I would have liked that the Reb should tell me exactly when Moshiach was coming, but I don't think that I thought that the Reb was actually gonna tell me that. It's not what I, I remember thinking that way at the time. I wasn't dis-- I don't think I was disappointed when I got the sense.

2:11:59 Speaker 7 So speaking about when Moshiach is coming, um, the whole experience, Chabad Zeiner, the Gemultamos, which obviously for every Chassid till today is, uh, is, uh, you know, we're not over it. Like you said, it's a Chesed Kafel and Mechupal. But did you feel, uh, uh, Chabad Zeiner, the Gemultamos, did you feel Begashmi is like different than, I don't know, your friends or other, other people?

2:12:36 Speaker 1 How could I know what my friends felt like?

2:12:39 Speaker 7 So don't talk about your friends. Talk about yourself.

2:12:42 Speaker 1 Is it gonna help anyone to talk about it? What I felt at the time?

2:12:47 Speaker 7 What do you feel now?

2:12:49 Speaker 1 What I felt now-- what I feel now is gonna help anyone? In a very gashmi, zeke sense, it was much, much more difficult for me than, than after my father passed away. Because the peil, very shortly after my father passed, you know, by the time you know what hit you, the Reb was already literally there to hold us, catch us. And, um, it was very... After Chabad Zeiner, the, uh, you know, after Gemultamos, it was very... It was a very big rollercoaster. And, um, I was really, I mean... It affected a lot of things. It affected my learning. I mean, as a kid in cheder even, I'm saying it affected my grades, it affected my behavior, was like a little wacky for a long time. Maybe it still is, some people will say. Um, you know, after, after Gemultamos, you know, we started going to the Oyhel on a very regular basis. And from the beginning, from the beginning, and when the Rebbe says the loshen, I didn't see the loshen till many, probably many years later. But there's the loshen that the Rebbe says, that's when Dav-- that because davka geneif in Oyhel be a diyah, that when you go to the Oyhel, you have to be aware of the fact as though is, uh... And it was just the attitude and what's the approach and what's the th-th-thought process, and I guess also what's the hachana of, of, of going into the Oyhel, is the afternoon you're going to the Rebbe. Though is

2:15:15 Speaker 1 that this is the Rebbe. You're going to the Rebbe. Going to the Oyhel means you're going to the Rebbe. So I didn't know that, uh, that sentence from Shlach Tov Sheinyud. But I was a young kid. I was not even bar mitzvah yet. I was almost bar mitzvah. But that I knew and I felt from the beginning. And the truth is, that's how I go through my days and my weeks and my months and my years. 'Cause either when I go to the Rebbe or if I write to the Rebbe, that's my lifeline. That's how I... You know, for me, I would-- if I would be-- if I would, idu yasher cheyli, if I would have the ability, I would, uh, I, I would every week or two or three, I would fly to the Oyhel. I would st-spend ten minutes by the Oyhel, then I would go back home. I, I... Everything on top of that is, is, is just, is, um, is icing on the ca-- I don't wanna say icing 'cause like saying everything more than that is, is, is beautiful. But just to be there, to go into the Oyhel or to stand right outside the Oyhel, then I could continue moving on with my life. Um, so that gives me, that's what gives me my stability. Um, I don't know what other people do or don't feel, so I can't answer that part. But I don't know if it, uh, you know... If we all... I, I think that we

2:17:05 Speaker 1 have to... Now, if a bocher would Appreciate what he has when he goes to the Oyhel. I, I, I don't wanna-- I'm, I'm... My default line is Bach, but the same thing would apply to a younger man, and the same thing would apply to the Noshei of Bnei Chabad, and really Noshei of Bnei Yisroel, not only Chabad. But I-- For the most part, I deal with the Bach, so that's my natural lashon. But if we would go-- If we would appreciate what we have when we go to the Oyhel, and we would allow ourselves to appreciate it, then we wouldn't have this disappointment. I think a lot of times we go to the Oyhel, and we have a certain, um, expectation that we're gonna feel this, and we're gonna feel that. We're gonna become tzadikim. We're gonna And then we go in. And for the most part, very often it doesn't necessarily happen. Now, you hear stories from people from the b-- that you brought from Chabad House or from If Tzoayum. They come to the Oyhel, and they're... And we come in, and we come out, and sometimes it's really . So that could be a different, uh, conversation of why it's like that. But if we would just have this, what the Rebbe says in the Sicha, . So you just-- If you would just think for two minutes, I just had the opportunity to go into the Rebbe. I just had an opportunity to give the Rebbe a letter or a pan.

2:19:06 Speaker 1 I don't know what you would feel, but it would be meaningful. You would appreciate it. It would be special. But we can't allow ourselves to appreciate that because we have this idea in our mind that we're supposed to chap malachim. And we didn't chap malachim, so then something must be wrong, and, and something's wrong with us, and then, and, and, uh... And pun kakat, if we allow ourselves to appreciate what is, then maybe we could experience it in a different way. And maybe we could experience it in a more real way. The Rebbe doesn't normally say it as a fact. The Rebbe says it as something that we need to know. Before you walk into the Oyhel, you need to stop, even if you go a thousand times. Y-maybe esht if you go a thousand times. You need to stop, and you need to think, Then you walk in. You don't have to cry. You don't have to get emotional. You don't have to get yourself all worked up. Just simple. If you would know that you have the ability right now to walk by the Rebbe's room, and the Rebbe's gonna be in the room, but the door is gonna be closed, how would you feel standing right outside the door? Even if you're not able to see the Rebbe, which I'm not saying is, oh, not a big deal at all. You would feel it's a whole different inyan. The Rebbe says that that's what it means when you go into the Oyhel.

2:21:04 Speaker 1 Allow yourself to appreciate that. Allow yourself to recognize that.

2:21:18 Speaker 8 Okay. So I understand that, uh, you're-you are, uh, going to the Rebbe for Shabbos, this Shabbos, and so am I. So, uh-

2:21:28 Speaker 1 Okay.

2:21:34 Speaker 8 Amen.

2:21:34 Speaker 1 Before Shabbos. Should I show you the bottle that I spoke about before in the story?

2:21:38 Speaker 8 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's right.

2:21:40 Speaker 1 I'll show you the bottle, and then I'll show you two things that are very special. So one is the bottle from Damash. This is the bottle that I got from the Rebbe by that time. I got two bottles, but this is the first bottle. This is the bottle from for the, for the farbrengen that we made for my-- the Sima Kadesh for my father. And I'll show you another thing, and that is I've-- I took over the years, like, two or three napkins that the Rebbe used from the farbrengen. And this is one of those napkins. I actually cut it into four pieces. I gave, you know, for my four siblings-- my three siblings, so we each have one, one piece of it, even though I stole-- I was the one who took it off the table. And it's written down. It's from the farbrengen of Simchas Torah . The Rebbe used this napkin. You can actually see where the Rebbe used it. So that's, uh, that's the gilui for tonight. If you come to Shear Alef in Detroit, you get to see all the stuff that I have.

2:22:56 Speaker 8 There's more?

2:22:57 Speaker 1 Yeah. Of course there's more. There's always more.

2:23:01 Speaker 8 So how come when I was with you and then you were in the zal, you didn't show it to us? I guess you- We didn't have a kiddush limi.

2:23:07 Speaker 1 I didn't have a-- We didn't get it. Now it's o-- Now we-- I show every year to Omar Bach, and we make a farbrengen, and I bring out all the inyanim. Now I have a, I have a chavas from the Rebbe and a hadasim from the-- whatever, different things. The ikar is the ikar is that we should live as a chassidim of the Rebbe. The Rebbe should literally impact the way we live in the most simple, basic way in the thousands of choices we make every day. And

2:23:43 Speaker 8 Amen.