When the Rebbe’s Father Ate With Both Hands

Welcome to our weekly Motzei Shabbos program.

Tonight and tomorrow, of course, is Yom Kippur — probably the busiest day of the year. So I'll try to make today's program short, also because people are too busy to listen right before Yom Kippur.

First of all, I want to wish everyone — all the thousands of people that listen to this program throughout the years — they should have a gmar tov. They should all have a gmar chasima tova. The first thing is that when a person is healthy, that is also [a blessing].

Here today, since it's before Yom Kippur, I want to ask forgiveness from all the people that listen to this program. [Yom Kippur atones for sins] between man and Hashem, but not between man and his fellow — and that's much harder to ask forgiveness for. You say it the whole time, okay, and you mean it, and Hashem forgives you. But to go over to a person and say, "please forgive me for such and such," that's much harder.

So anyways, today I want to ask all the people listening to this program — if I have in any way offended or hurt anyone, please forgive me. This is a rule for everybody; it's a time to ask. However, Hashem should give everybody — as the Rebbe said before — a sweet year. And I heard once a reason why you take an apple and dip it into honey. It's sweet. You should take something bitter and dip it into honey — make the bitter sweet. But the apple is sweet and the honey is sweet, so what's the purpose of dipping an apple, which is already sweet? So the answer is that we want everything to be good. Hashem gives a good year — whatever Hashem does is 100% good. But we want to see the goodness, and that's the idea. It should be completely sweet, that we should see it revealed.

I mentioned before that Erev Yom Kippur is a busy day. So I'll just mention a few things about what people do on Erev Yom Kippur — what do people do right after this program?

People go do kapparos. There's a minhag that everyone does kapparos. It's not only [for men] — some people use one chicken, and many people can use one chicken for several people, but in Chabad everyone has their own chicken. Even if a woman is pregnant, she has to have three chickens — one for her, one in case she'll have a boy, and one in case she'll have a girl. So people are busy with that.

We give lekach, and everyone has a different kind of lekach, which I have written over here. I saw that the Rebbe writes that when [the Frierdiker Rebbe] gave lekach — he says that our Rebbe used to stand on Erev Yom Kippur, and the chassidim — the people, the guests that come for Yom Kippur — he used to give them lekach and wish them [a good year]. I think the Rebbe started to give it out not [only on Erev Yom Kippur] but two days before, because the crowd was so big there wouldn't be time, so he needed time to give it out.

People go to the mikvah three times. People get malkos. People give a lot of tzedaka — the shuls are full of plates. They give tzedaka to any charitable cause, they say a lot of Tehillim, and it's a time to bless your children — everyone should bless their children. Some people have a minhag to bless their children every Friday, but I don't think we have that. But we have a minhag — he used to bless the children twice: after [Mincha], and later on, before [Kol Nidrei], he used to bless them again.

Erev Yom Kippur is a time to eat two meals. The smaller meal is first, but then the main meal is later — two meals. And whoever eats on Erev Yom Kippur, it's just like he fasted on Yom Kippur — that's how important it is to eat on Erev Yom Kippur. And I think that the Rebbe's father always ate with one hand — he never used two hands, I mean, not like in America where you use a knife. He never used a knife. He always had one hand under the table and one hand to eat — that's polite. But on Erev Yom Kippur he ate with two hands on the table.

Also, there's a minhag to eat [lekach]. And three times a year there's a [custom regarding covering the meat]: one time is Erev Yom Kippur, one time is [unclear, sounds like "Purim"], and one time is [unclear]. Why? Because you have meat, and you have to cover the meat. The meat is compared to Yom Tov — it's a mitzvah to eat meat [on these days]. So on these days it's also [treated] like Yom Tov, but it's a weekday, where you're allowed to do work. That's why you cover up the meat — it's not like a regular Yom Tov where you're not allowed to work.

Flesh represents gashmiyus [physicality]. And you have to cover it — you have to be completely [careful]. Also, meat is [tied to] gashmiyus, and the covering — there are a lot of reasons why you eat [on these days], but that's the idea. So whenever you cover [the meat], that's the meaning.

So people are always busy with these inyanim — there's a lot to do on Erev Yom Kippur.

Now here I want to mention something. I heard a vort, and I think it comes from the Maggid, on Parshas Haazinu, which we read this morning — it is always connected to Yom Kippur. This year that's Shabbos Shuva. Sometimes Haazinu is before Yom Kippur, sometimes after Yom Kippur. This year it's right before.

So it says in the parsha that heaven and earth are called as witnesses. They are superior because they do what Hashem wants — when they do the will of Hashem, they do what Hashem wants, because the whole purpose of creation is for the Yidden. First it says "Haazinu hashamayim," as we all know, because "Haazinu" means close — "Shema" also means to listen, but the difference is that one connotes closeness and the other connotes being further away. It says "Haazinu" because he was closer to Hashem than others.

The Medrash says — he said to the people, we say to the people that are closer to Hashem, people that sit and learn, that they're closer to Hashem. And we say to these people that they should tell the regular people — in other words, they should give mussar; they should tell the people what to do. But they have to know — you have to be a living example first. In order to give mussar you have to yourself be a living example. And that's why it says don't judge another person until you are in his place, because we don't know. So when you give mussar — sometimes the one who sits and learns all day, his heart is not as strong as the businessman's, because he sits the whole day learning, while the businessman is outside — his yetzer hara is much stronger than the other's. So how can he give him mussar? He has to understand when to give mussar and how to give mussar. So don't judge somebody else. You're sitting and learning, fine — but if you would be in his place, if you would be a baal habayis and go through what he goes through, I don't know if you would be the same. So you have to always be careful. This is [a lesson] for the people who are closer [to Hashem] — they should always be careful what they say. As they say, practice what you preach.

I think the Frierdiker Rebbe once said, years ago people used to worry about their own ruchniyus and another Yid's gashmiyus. Now people worry about their own gashmiyus and somebody else's ruchniyus. Be careful about somebody — how he is, what he is. You have to know when to say and what to say, not all the time. So this is one of the things that goes to the people who should know how to teach regular people too.

There is a question: we're like malachim — we sit all day in shul, we wear a kittel, we don't eat, we don't drink, we're completely [elevated]. But when it comes to Mincha, before Neilah, before Hashem closes the gates — what do we read? About arayos, immorality. Is that the time? First of all, if you have to read it, do it in the morning. Why specifically before Neilah, before such a time — the holiest moment of the year — does it remind you about arayos? Why specifically then?

So the answer is: yes, you're a whole day in shul and you're completely [elevated], that's good. But we tell the person — don't forget, in an hour or two, when Yom Kippur is over, you go out into the world, and you have to deal with [temptation] and certain problems. So you have to know that it's not [finished] — what's going to be after Yom Kippur. And that's why we read about arayos right before Neilah, to remind you. So I want to wish everybody an easy fast. And how do we know that Hashem forgave you? It depends on afterward — when you get busy right away with [unclear], and then go into [unclear], and when you're busy with these things, that shows that Hashem forgave you, and you'll have a good year.

Another thing I want to mention — my father's father, no, I remember when he passed away — he passed away on Yom Kippur, in the morning. It was 6:01, on Yom Kippur. And my brother — I have a brother that was born two years later, also on Yom Kippur, also at 6:01, and his name is the same.

So anyways, now the last thing I want to show you — this book is already in the stores for maybe two weeks. I think every store in the United States and Canada has the book, and baruch Hashem I sold a lot. This is about the early years of [Chabad in] America, a very interesting book. This is book one, there are five more to come. So you can go into the stores even before Yom Kippur and ask for the book. It's called "Chabad in America," and the first volume is called "[sounds like: Julia Stillman]" [?]. It's a very important book to read — a lot of inyanim of the early years, when the Rebbe [Frierdiker Rebbe] came to America.

Baruch Hashem, next week we're not going to have a program, and also [not for] two weeks, because I don't have a program, but we'll have a program after [Sukkos]. Everyone should have an easy fast, and we should be, this year, at the end of [golus]. Thank you.