What the Frierdiker Rebbe Said About Fasting

Welcome to our weekly program, The Inside Story of Chabad in America, through the Mindel Archives. This is a continuation of last week.

Last week we spoke about why it took twenty-one days, and nevertheless we call it the Three Weeks.

So today I just want to say that the mentioning of galus is not only — it's not just a punishment, it shows love. How does galus show love? Hashem said to Avraham that his descendants are going to be [in exile] for four hundred years, and then Avraham fell into a great, dark fear. So the question is: why did Hashem have to say it in a way that made Avraham feel so terrible? So the Medrash answers that Hashem showed him the first Beis Hamikdash, the second, and the third — showed him the future geulah. So the she'eilah is: why did Hashem have to do that? Avraham was loved by Hashem — at the Bris Bein HaBesarim they were on the highest level of love. You know, there are four levels of ahavah: there's a love between husband and wife, there's a love between a parent and a child, there's a love between two friends, and then there's a love between a person and Hashem. This was the love between Avraham and Hashem, the highest level of love. That's why Hashem had to tell him about the galus, about why, and why specifically then. So the answer is, we see here that it's not that Hashem wanted to punish, but in order to get to the geulah you have to go through the galus.

And he explains — we once spoke about this — the mashal of a rebbi and a student. The rebbi was learning with the student, and all of a sudden the rebbi goes away from the student, and the student thinks it's because — maybe he doesn't love him, he didn't tell him anything, he just left him. But the reason the rebbi left him for a while is because a certain thought fell into his mind, and he had to meditate on it, he had to think it through in order to explain it later to the student. But meanwhile the student feels [abandoned]. Same thing also with Hashem — we believe that He does everything for the good, so this galus is not just punishment, it's in order to get to the geulah, so it's only for a little while.

Also, when a mother bathes a child, she puts on hot water — why does she bathe the child? Because she wants to hurt the child? The child cries. No, she bathes the child because she wants to clean the child, and by cleaning, it hurts. The same with galus — it hurts, but it's because the Father loves us, and even while we're in galus we should know that Hashem is with us. Hashem Himself is, so to speak, also in the galus with us, as we once spoke about — this cannot change, it's still [true]. Anyway, this is what I wanted to mention about galus — it's not a punishment, but it's a way to get to the geulah.

Another thing I want to mention — and maybe I mentioned this a while ago, excuse me — about fasting, what the Frierdiker Rebbe told Rabbi Mindel. This is, I guess, for teachers, for people who are leaders, how we should answer people — be careful of the way you speak about a shailah.

Rabbi Mindel and Rabbi Hodakov went to the same yeshiva, the same type of yeshiva, they came from the same [town]. When Rabbi Mindel was a bochur, older bochurim beat him up — they hit him — he was in the hospital, and it had an effect on his ear. That's why he had to have, in one ear, a hearing aid — not only a hearing aid, he also had to eat every four hours, and if he wouldn't eat every four hours, it happened once that he fainted. That was a condition he had; he had a lot of problems from that.

So this is what happened: he went to the Frierdiker Rebbe and asked him what he should do about fasting, because he had to eat. So the Frierdiker Rebbe said to him — regarding Yom Kippur — he was in bed most of the day, he got up for a few minutes, he didn't eat, of course — but he thought he would ask before he walked out. The Rebbe called him back and said to him with a smile, "Don't forget to ask a smart Rav." So he went — he went to a smart Rav, whoever the smart Rav was — and he told him, "The Rebbe told me to ask." So the Rav said, "If the Rebbe says to ask a smart Rav, you can eat half the day."

Now, as a matter of fact, speaking about eating, I have here a letter from the Rebbe to Rabbi Mindel. This was a regular [fast day], not Tisha B'Av — he didn't want him to fast. He writes like this: "Tomorrow will be a fast day" — I think it was maybe [Tzom Gedaliah, unclear] — he said he shouldn't even fast one hour. That's how much the Rebbe cared. I mean, you know, Rabbi Mindel was very careful about fasting — other things too — even though halacha would have required it, but he was [given a heter]. So I wanted to mention this before — of course, we all have to fast, we must fast, and if we can't fast for some reason, we must ask. The Rebbe tells him, "ask." Now, it's very important to ask — you know, a person may think he knows, but you ask; and a Rav should also know — if a person asks, that is very, very important.

Now it reminds me — years ago, I think it was by Purim, the Frierdiker Rebbe said — I'm not sure, I'm only saying what I remember — that there was a question about why Esther was not allowed to fast — because the whole reason the king married her was because of her beauty, and since [fasting would have affected that], he was matir it, and that's how the nes of Purim happened. So sometimes you have to have [a heter].

Another thing — this is personal. My youngest daughter was married sixteen years ago, and on the day of the wedding I went — you know, the minhag is that the parents go to the Ohel, that's for a segulah. So I went to the Ohel, and that night was the wedding. In the middle of the way I got a call that my mother had passed away. So of course I turned around — this was in the morning, before the chuppah — and they had to make the chuppah; they made the chuppah. People told me, "You're not allowed to go to the wedding"; some people said, "You're not allowed to go"; some people said something different. Then I said, let me remind myself — let me go to someone who is not just smart. So I went to a Rav and asked him what I should do. So the Rav asked me, "Tell me, will your daughter be upset if you're not at the wedding?" I said, "I'll ask her." I asked her; she said, "Of course!" He says to me, "This is so important, such a big simcha, and your daughter will be upset — you can go to the wedding, since your daughter will be upset." But of course there were certain conditions — you're not supposed to dance, you're not supposed to sit, you're not supposed to eat, whatever — but you are allowed to go in. That's what he told me, and I used his heter. So I was happy, and my daughter was happy — I made the kallah happy.

This reminds me of another time — my father reminds me. My father had a shailah — he served [as rav]; he was Rabbi Dorin's [?] father-in-law, in Russia; he was a big Rav. People came to him with shailos. So a lady came in with a chicken, with a question. The shochet had already said something to my father about it. My father looks at the chicken, and there's a spot on the bone that was red — a certain spot. So the shochet, before she left, says to my father, "You knew — what did you pasken?" So he says, "I passuled it — it's obvious." So [the Rav] says, "Call — let me see the chicken." He called the woman, had her bring back the chicken, looked at the chicken. My father says he took his glasses, put them on, and with a knife he opened it up and looked and looked and looked, and then he says to the lady, "Take the chicken, you can go home — it's kosher." My father was shocked. I mean, he knew it, everybody knew there was a certain spot there. So the Rav said to my father, "I know you're surprised, I know — but in her case you can make it kosher — you missed a hidden [reason]." I don't know what it was — that in her case you could make it kosher. I don't know what the reason was.

So sometimes you need a Rav to say right away that something is not kosher, but sometimes you can make it kosher — so you have to know. I mean, nowadays I don't see women coming with a chicken to a Rav — all the chickens are kosher, the millions of chickens — I don't know, it's a different world. But in those days, this was — a chicken [could be a serious question].

So here we see how careful a person needs to be. From here — and the Rebbe made us, the Rebbe made us leaders, the Rebbe made us all teachers, that we are all mashpi'im — we all have to know to be very careful in answering questions, because sometimes you can say right away "no," but it's easy to say no. And this is what I learned out from the story of my father.

So, since we're almost at Tisha B'Av, and as I mentioned last week, even though it is a time of mourning during the Three Weeks, we shouldn't be despondent, because as was mentioned to somebody, in this world and in the other world [unclear], we should turn to Hashem and we should be certain that this should be the geulah. And thank you.