Educating Children for the Month of Elul and Rosh Hashanah - Rabbi Yosef Avraham Pizam shlita

00:02 Speaker 1 You’re listening to the “Lema’an Yishme’u” podcast from Machon Halacha Chabad.

00:09 Speaker 2 In this lesson, we’ll be talking about education—teaching our children about the holidays—and we’ll start with Elul, which prepares us for Tishrei. The emphasis is on educating children from the age when they can already understand something: the age of education, five or six, or even three. We send a three-year-old child to cheder, where he hears stories from the melamed. That means we, too, need to do those same things, as time allows: as parents, we should spend some time on these subjects, find out what he learned and heard, and help give it more meaning, bringing it home to the child, to his heart and soul. Yes, that is how you build a chossid who fears Heaven and is a scholar. There’s a fundamental question when we say, “Let’s educate”: how do we think education works? Broadly speaking, it has two parts. One is the good, proper, pleasant, sensible, proportionate routines that we—father, mother, and the older children—need to create together. They produce an atmosphere at home that influences the older ones and the younger ones, us and our children, and the children younger still. When the Rebbe began speaking about the education campaign, back in the 5730s, the Rebbe spoke about five campaigns and announced another five—ten campaigns altogether. I remember an older chossid in the Krayos, Reb Shmuel Pomer—may he be well—who has merited to bring many people back from wrongdoing and brought a great many Jews close to Chassidus and the Rebbe, to a connection with the Rebbe. Inspired by the Rebbe’s words, he came up with two slogans. One was, “Moshiach is coming any moment; let’s hasten his arrival with Ahavas Yisroel.” The second was, “Moshiach is coming any moment; what are we doing to educate ourselves for his arrival?” That’s the million-dollar question. If you understand that Moshiach is coming any moment, and you take it seriously,

03:16 Speaker 2 then what do you think? Is that not something we need to educate ourselves for? That’s the question: what are we doing to educate ourselves for his arrival? How will we educate ourselves and our families to welcome Moshiach? What are we doing to educate ourselves for his arrival? So, as I said, there are two parts. One is the routines: a well-established home where people lead wonderful lives, always looking at what they can do. There are sheets of the Rebbe’s teachings called “Hamaaseh Hu Haikar”—“The main thing is the deed.” They’re distributed; you can find them on Chabad Info. Anyone can download one and put it up at home on the refrigerator, on a family bulletin board, or on a shul bulletin board. Seven tasks from the Rebbe for each week. If we simply look at what the Rebbe asks of us and do it, we’re already engaged in something pleasant, not stressful, but something that fills our time and our lives with purpose: how to make the world better, bring more holiness into it, and make it more ready for the Geulah. That’s the sheet called “Hamaaseh Hu Haikar.” Okay, so there are the routines. We follow them. We know what the Rebbe wants, what we do, how to run a home, how to prepare, how to take care of all the details, down to the smallest ones. The three daily prayers with a minyan—Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv—Torah classes for men and women, study partners. It certainly won’t hurt for the children to see their father learning with someone else. Of course, it won’t hurt for their father to learn with them, or at the very least ask them questions at the Shabbos table. And it won’t hurt for them to see their father and mother learning something together, as appropriate. That’s a very interesting subject in its own right. It’s educational, too, but the main thing is setting a personal example. So those are the routines. But how do we educate more deeply, so that our children truly experience the profound sweetness, vitality, joy, and depth of the holidays? And along with that, how do we help them carry it into their lives?

05:50 Speaker 2 Of course, we should get them involved and turn them into people who influence others. Because to influence others, we have to prepare ourselves. And a student who becomes someone who influences others is himself influenced, and follows the best path. Make him a leader at Shabbos children’s gatherings, and so on. Rabbi David Nachshon, shlita, once told me about one of the great chassidim and mashpi’im who, in his youth, was quite a handful. His father, a great and respected chossid, asked the Rebbe in yechidus what to do with him. The boy would ride his moped through the streets of the holy city. What could they do with him? The Rebbe told his father, “Make him a mashpia. Put him in charge of a group of bochurim, a group of children. Let him get to work.” And he went very, very far. In other words, have him work with others. But still, how do we change what is inside a child, or allow it to express itself and come to light? There is only one genuine, direct way: a personal conversation. What people call “quality time.” Take your child and go out for a walk with him. If it’s your son—or your daughter—find the way you communicate well together. If that’s through an outing, then go on an outing; if it’s a brisk walk, then take a brisk walk. If it’s sitting beside an armchair, then sit beside an armchair. Whatever works best. But talk with your child. Listen. Have a personal conversation, and that’s when you can teach things. Your child will ask you a question—will you be able to answer? Prepare yourself; explain things. We want to know how to explain them in the Rebbe’s way. There are the books Moreh L’Dor Navoch. A child asks a question: do you know where to look for the answer? The books are there. There is also the book Hachinuch Vehamchanech. Parents need to know what it says, what the Rebbe wants educators to do. And every teacher is, in a sense, a parent, just as every parent is a teacher at home. It’s important to know how to talk about education, about the experience of observing mitzvos, the experience

08:19 Speaker 2 of the holidays. So if someone thinks a slogan here or a slogan there at the Shabbos table—wonderful as that is—will be the end of it, that usually isn’t enough. Changing a child’s education and behavior, getting someone engaged, happens through personal conversation. We must not skip that part. Shofar blowing: beginning on Rosh Chodesh Elul, the students should hear the shofar every day. Here’s something interesting: the source for this is Hachinuch Vehamchanech, page 121. I’ll tell you, in our Talmud Torah I instituted this from the very beginning: the shofar should be blown every day during Elul. And today people say, “Still, is it really necessary every day?” To them it was simply obvious: you go out on mivtzoim every day, you put tefillin on someone—wouldn’t you blow the shofar for him every day? Yes, and it’s the same with the students. We are educating the children. If there is a mitzvah to blow the shofar every day of Elul in preparation for Rosh Hashanah, why shouldn’t the children hear it every day? And indeed, I was glad to see that this is exactly what it says: it’s very important to make the effort to have the shofar blown in every classroom. By the way, it isn’t complicated to teach a child to blow the shofar if his father knows how. Technically, it isn’t complicated; the halachic aspects need to be studied, but technically it isn’t difficult. In any case, where does the father’s role come in? If we’ve said the child goes to Talmud Torah and hears the shofar there, what is the father’s role if the child misses a day of school? Or what if the father asks, “Did you hear the shofar today?” and the child says, “Actually, the teacher was absent today, and a substitute came. We asked him, and he said he didn’t know how to blow the shofar.” Do you think things like that don’t happen? They do. So

10:29 Speaker 2 On the contrary, if we understand that, educationally, it is good and necessary for a child to hear the shofar every day during Elul, then we should support that too. Ask, “Did you hear it?” If the father knows how to blow it: “Did you hear it? I’ll blow it for you.” And so on. We should try to make sure the child hears it if he didn’t manage to. We need to explain to students that Elul is a month of taking stock, a whole month of soul-searching. Rabbi Chodakov writes that we should try to make them feel the atmosphere of Elul, both the teachers and the students. They should see that we keep adding to our preparations for Rosh Hashanah. After all, that is also the purpose of blowing the shofar in Elul: to remind us of Elul and Rosh Hashanah. So, as I said, this applies in schools, and it applies at home too. Encourage it, ask about it, add to it, tell stories. Think how nice it is when a teacher says something in class and a child raises his hand and says, “My father told me this and this about it.” That’s tremendous. A second subject: saying Tehillim. Here, in Chinuch VehaMechanech, he gives an unequivocal age. From what age? Rabbi Chodakov writes: a child aged nine and up—which means third grade, an age that marks a new stage in the child’s life—should say the three additional chapters of Tehillim every day of Elul, as is customary. A student below that age, in kindergarten, first grade, or second grade, should say some verses of Tehillim as a reminder that these are the days of Elul. We should say more Tehillim. So here, again, there is attention to age. From what age? I’m telling you: from age nine, instill in him the practice of saying those three chapters. Now, what is the father’s role? In school, there is a set time when everyone is supposed to say them, but as a father, ask him, “Did you say them today?” Chaya. Do you get some kind of prize for it? I’ll give you a

12:48 Speaker 2 prize. Do you know why we do this? Can you explain? Yes, it’s preparation for Rosh Hashanah, the day we crown the King. Look in the Rebbe’s sichos—there are sichos in which the Rebbe speaks to children, sichos from every month and every season. What does it mean to crown Hashem as King on Rosh Hashanah? What is the role of the soldiers of Tzivos Hashem in that? It’s wonderful if the teachers talk about it, but it wouldn’t hurt for the father and mother to ask the child too. If the child knows, wonderful. If not, we can add to what he knows from the book The Rebbe Speaks to the Children of Israel. The laws of teshuvah. During Elul, we need to study the laws of teshuvah. Where do we learn them? There are two things. First, the Rambam’s Hilchos Teshuvah. Second, we also need to study Igeres Hateshuvah—chapters or passages from it—and talk about teshuvah. Just as there are laws of tzitzis and laws of tefillin, and everyone wants his son to know those laws, and if a father knows how to make tzitzis himself, it is certainly a good, educational experience that will stay with the child for life when his father personally teaches him how to make tzitzis, how to tie the strings. So too, there are laws of teshuvah, and everyone, young and old, needs to study them. Here too, the father’s and mother’s role is to support these things and fill in any gaps if needed. Ask a simple question: “You’re a teacher? You’re responsible for Jewish studies? Well, are they learning anything in Elul? A little about the laws of teshuvah?” And so on. All right, another subject that is no less important, and this too is written in Rabbi Chodakov’s Chinuch VehaMechanech: Elul is the month of preparation for traveling to the Rebbe. A chossid travels to the Rebbe many times, but generally, most chassidim travel first and foremost for Tishrei. Yes, in our generation, all sorts of

15:17 Speaker 2 very important dates have been added: Rosh Chodesh Kislev and the Kinus Hashluchim; Chanukah; the Kinus Hashluchos on 22 Shvat; dates connected with Nissan, including 11 Nissan—with the Rebbe’s reservations that Pesach should be spent at home, though not necessarily 11 Nissan; perhaps bochurim can travel, and so on. And Gimmel Tammuz, 7 Tammuz, 20 Menachem Av—all the dates. Shavuos, Shavuos, the festival of Shavuos, the festival of the rabbinic authorities, the festival of the morei tzedek, the festival of matzos, as they used to say in Lubavitch. Yes, all the dates are important, but Tishrei is the main one, as it has been for generations. First of all, people travel for the month of festivals, the month of Tishrei. The letters of Tishrei can be rearranged to spell “beginning”; it is the month that brings blessing and success for the entire year. Therefore, a student traveling to the Rebbe for the month of Tishrei must be properly prepared for how to conduct himself during Tishrei in general, and in the Rebbe’s presence in particular. Who will prepare him? His teacher, his mashpia, and his parents—both in spiritual matters and in manners and general conduct. We should give the Temimim who are traveling, or the brothers of Temimim, provisions for the journey: teach them how to conduct themselves there. We must also arrange for our son to have a study schedule while he is there, and for someone to supervise him in all matters of study and conduct. Yes, these instructions really date from the days when things were bright, but back then, not nearly as many people traveled as do today, bli ayin hara, bli ayin hara. Today, boruch Hashem, there are organizations that provide hospitality in both the physical and spiritual sense. We need to make sure that when our son or daughter travels, they travel within an organized framework, and that there is clear oversight of their good, chassidic conduct and yiras Shamayim, down to every detail throughout Tishrei. And Elul is the month of preparation: learning Tanya by heart, studying a maamar, maamarim for Rosh Hashanah, and studying the teachings of our Rebbeim, and so on. The month

17:52 Speaker 2 We said that it’s very important to prepare for hearing the shofar every day of Elul. Selichos. What about young children who have reached the age of education? What should they do regarding Selichos? Well, first of all, on the night after Shabbos, “At the close of the day of rest, we come before You first”—the great excitement of the first night of Selichos—and the long, moving Selichos on Erev Rosh Hashanah: there is no doubt that younger students and children should take part in them too. If getting up for Selichos will simply cause a child to miss a day of school, that’s another matter. But if he can manage it, then, let’s put it this way: for children in fifth grade and above, we should certainly make sure they attend those Selichos, even on the night after Shabbos. With younger children, it depends on how strongly they feel they must go, how much it matters to them, whether it is an experience for them, and whether they are willing to make an effort the next day and, how shall I put it, put up with a little discomfort—finish school earlier so they can rest in the afternoon, and actually rest. If so, they can go even earlier, at a younger age. But this is part of educating them to say Selichos, and that is important. Now that leads to another question: does a child even know what he is saying in Selichos? Today, thanks to all the work that has been done in this area, there are siddurim with explanations, machzorim with explanations, and Selichos with explanations. From fifth grade onward, certainly, it is possible. It depends on each child’s seriousness and curiosity, but the minimum—explaining a piyut here, a piyut there, a passage here, a passage there—can be done as soon as a child can understand texts. You can teach him a passage here and a passage there, and that will also begin to draw him into the experience of davening. Again, don’t pressure him by taking a child in second grade and trying to explain the entire siddur to him. But giving him some background, or learning a short explanation here and another there—certainly.

20:16 Speaker 2 Involve him and give him a personal connection and a personal experience with davening—davening and saying Tehillim. What does the Frierdiker Rebbe tell us about this? I’ll tell you something else that’s interesting. There was a mashpia in Afula, the chossid Rabbi David Kratz [unclear]. When I took on a position as principal, about forty years ago, he said to me, “All right, where will you get material on education from Chabad, from Chabad teachings?” To tell you the truth, there wasn’t very much. At least, there wasn’t much in those years. But there are the Frierdiker Rebbe’s sichos. In Likkutei Dibburim and in the books about the Frierdiker Rebbe’s life, there are quite a few of his accounts about education: his childhood, the chassidic educators of earlier generations, and the conversations his father, the Rebbe Rashab, had with him about education. Draw inspiration and direction from there. Now, as we talk about education, I say to dear parents today: many things and many sources have since been added. But the foundation is still the Frierdiker Rebbe’s sichos, especially the accounts of his childhood in the books about his life. They are a precious treasure from which we can draw inspiration and work out what is appropriate for our children. The Frierdiker Rebbe relates: “Over the course of two years, when I was nine and ten, I reached a certain level of understanding.” Nine or ten today means third or fourth grade. On Rosh Hashanah 5650, he was ten years old—he was born in 5640—and it was the first Rosh Hashanah when he did everything like a grown-up. “On Erev Rosh Hashanah I went to the mikveh and went to daven at the Ohel of my grandfather, the Rebbe Maharash. That evening I heard my father, the Rebbe Rashab, daven—the Rebbe’s davening. In the morning I went to daven and said the entire Rosh Hashanah davening slowly, from the machzor. I heard the shofar blasts, said Tehillim, heard Chassidus,

22:32 Speaker 2 davened Maariv, and did the same on the second day. From then on, I was grown up.” In other words, the Frierdiker Rebbe points to the Rosh Hashanah when he was ten as the day a change took place in him, from child to grown-up. As for hearing the shofar blasts according to halachah: yes, we all need to hear every blast, from beginning to end, even if it is very long—and that includes the children. The Rebbe says that the custom of the Jewish people is for everyone to gather together, men and women, and to bring the children to hear the shofar as well. This is despite how careful we are that the children’s noise should not prevent the adults from hearing every blast and fulfilling their obligation. Even very young children, who cannot yet understand the meaning of the blessing, answer “Amen” aloud together with everyone. So someone might say: with an enormous crowd like the one in 770, if a few children make a sound here and there, what happens? The answer is in what they do there. I think they blow the shofar again in one or two sections of 770. Immediately after the blasts for the main minyan on the bimah, they blow those same blasts in the sections where people could not hear so well. That way everyone hears. This could be suggested for shuls too, if there is a concern that, with everyone bringing all their children, there will be some noise. Arrange for the shofar to be blown in the corners where it is needed, and in another part of the shul, in a suitable way. Then everyone will hear and fulfill the Rebbe’s wish to crown Hakadosh Boruch Hu as King. Everyone will crown Him, including the children. On the contrary: “When Israel was a child, I loved him.” Another point about Rosh Hashanah: one may not blow the shofar on Rosh Hashanah unless it is to enable someone to fulfill their obligation.

24:55 Speaker 2 Someone comes to the shofar blower, and he blows for him. That’s it. Or he goes out on mivtzoim, goes into the street: “Would you like to hear the shofar?” “Hello, my dear neighbor on the third floor, would you like to hear it? I’ll blow it for you.” But what about children? With children, there is the matter of fostering a love for the mitzvah. If they want to blow the shofar, if they feel like blowing it and enjoy it, let them blow it. Let’s read this in the wording of the halachah, as it appears in the Alter Rebbe’s Shulchan Aruch, section 596, paragraph 2: “Once all the prescribed blasts have been completed, one may not blow the shofar again without a purpose, for blowing the shofar is prohibited on Yom Tov by rabbinic law.” That prohibition applies to adults. “But one may tell a child to blow it so that he can learn, whether or not he has reached the age of education. A child may blow the shofar all day, even after hearing the blasts in shul.” Why? Because adults have a mitzvah to teach children and train them in mitzvos. It educates the child in mitzvos and strengthens his love for the mitzvah.