Customs of the Month of Elul for Women - Rabbi Menachem Mendel Harel shlita

00:02 Speaker 1 You’re listening to “Lema’an Yishme’u,” a podcast from Machon Halacha Chabad.

00:09 Speaker 2 Shalom u’vrachah. In this class, with Hashem’s help, we’ll discuss halachic matters concerning the festivals and holidays that have particular significance for the conduct of women and girls. As is well known, in general, men are obligated in time-bound positive mitzvos, while women are not. That is why the halachic authorities disagree about certain mitzvos associated with the festivals: whether women are required to perform them, whether they may perform them, and, if they do wish to perform them, whether they may say a blessing over them. Of course, women are just as obligated as men to observe the festivals properly. There is no difference. It is only with regard to certain mitzvos within the festivals that the halachic authorities disagree about whether women may perform them with a blessing, or whether it is customary for women to perform particular mitzvos associated with each festival. So, with Hashem’s help, this class will place special emphasis on the customs and mitzvos that are particularly relevant to women. We won’t cover all the mitzvos and laws of each festival here; those are addressed in separate classes. It’s therefore important to remember that, alongside what we learn in this class, we must also listen to and study the laws of the festivals themselves, in which men and women are equally obligated. We are approaching the month of Elul; it is Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul. As is well known, Elul is the month of taking stock, the last month of the year, when each of us prepares for the coming Days of Judgment, may they come upon us for good: the day we accept Hashem’s sovereignty on Rosh Hashanah, the Ten Days of Teshuvah, Yom Kippur, then the four days between Yom Kippur and Sukkos, the festival of Sukkos, Chol Hamoed Sukkos, Simchas Beis Hashoeivah, Hoshana Rabbah, Shemini Atzeres and Simchas Torah, and Shabbos Bereishis. It is a month entirely surrounded by goodness. There is a special preparation for that month, as we said, during Elul. The month of Elul, as reflected in

03:08 Speaker 2 the phrases whose initial letters spell its name: “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li” — “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”; “Ish l’re’eihu umatanos la’evyonim” — “each person to his fellow, and gifts to the poor”; and “Inah l’yado v’samti lecha” — “It came to his hand, and I will appoint for you a place of refuge.” There is also an allusion to the Geulah in the words “Ashirah laHashem,” “I will sing to Hashem,” and “vayomru leimor ashirah,” “and they said, saying: I will sing.” This month has a very, very special significance in serving Hashem. Although there are no particular laws for this month, but mainly customs, the preparation for Tishrei applies to everyone. Women, too, prepare for Tishrei through the spiritual work of the days of Elul. In one of the Rebbe’s holy sichos, the Rebbe says that Elul, the month of taking stock, is like a city of refuge. If a person, G-d forbid, kills someone unintentionally, flees into exile and enters a city of refuge, the city takes him in and protects him from the avenger of blood. The same is true spiritually. If a person has, G-d forbid, been in a situation akin to unintentionally taking a life, the blood of the G-dly soul, the holy soul, has been spilled by acting against Hashem’s will. Where can that person be taken in and return to Hashem? The days of Elul are the time to return in teshuvah. These forty days, from Rosh Chodesh Elul until Yom Kippur, are very, very special days. During the thirty days of preparation in Elul, beginning on Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul and the first day of Rosh Chodesh Elul, a person has the opportunity to be redeemed, to find refuge, to take hold of this opportunity and rise to a new path and a new, elevated place in serving Hashem. Then, in Tishrei, that person can find themselves among the people of distinction who enter the palace with the King. As part of the work of Elul, the Rebbe often repeats the Alter Rebbe’s analogy: before the king arrives in the city, its people go out to greet him and receive him in the field. At that point, everyone is permitted—and the Frierdiker Rebbe adds that everyone is able; it is not just a matter of permission, but of ability—to go out and greet

06:10 Speaker 2 the King. The King receives everyone graciously and shows a smiling face to all. This is the meaning of “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li,” “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Then, as the Alter Rebbe says, when he goes into the city, they follow him; but when he enters his royal palace, no one may enter without permission, and even then, only the select few and exceptional individuals among the people. Elul is the time when a person can attach themselves to the King, change themselves inwardly, change their very being. This is the idea of teshuvah “in one hour and one moment,” as the expression in Chassidus puts it. With a single turn, a person becomes the King’s, and can merit to be among those exceptional individuals who enter His royal palace with Him. That being so, the work of Elul and its special customs apply to men and women alike, and certainly also to young children, boys and girls. All of them serve Hashem through this work of “Ani l’dodi v’dodi li”: the work that begins from below and reaches upward, the work of connecting with the Beloved, with Hakadosh Boruch Hu. As the Rebbe notes in his holy sichos, this work begins on Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul. In general, Erev Rosh Chodesh is an auspicious time. You are probably familiar with its name, Yom Kippur Katan, “Minor Yom Kippur,” and some people have the custom of fasting every Erev Rosh Chodesh. Chassidus, however—and the Rebbe reiterates this for our generation—teaches us not to fast, but instead to increase our efforts in serving Hashem at this auspicious time, particularly on Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul. That means increasing in Torah, avodah and acts of kindness, the three pillars on which the world stands. Torah means adding to our Torah study and classes. Avodah means adding to prayer—not merely saying another prayer, but deepening the work of prayer, through which a person serves Hashem. What is “service of the heart”? It is

09:01 Speaker 2 prayer: paying attention to what we are saying and putting our heart into the words of Torah and the words of prayer. Acts of kindness mean giving more tzedakah. In other sichos, the Rebbe notes that tzedakah and acts of kindness are, first and foremost, expressed through material tzedakah—giving money to charity. Alongside that, there is spiritual tzedakah: helping another person with a good thought, a kind word, good advice, a good deed, or practical assistance. These, too, are included in increasing our acts of kindness. We’ll mention this again, with Hashem’s help, when we discuss preparing for Yom Kippur. But already in Elul, and on Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul, one of the main things needed to prepare ourselves for the full spiritual work of Yom Kippur is making peace with one another. So when we speak of acts of kindness toward others as tzedakah, it is certainly very good and important to begin that preparation on Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul, in preparation for complete connection and reconciliation with one another. From the first day of Rosh Chodesh Elul, we begin reciting the psalm “L’Dovid Hashem ori v’yishi”—“By Dovid: Hashem is my light and my salvation.” Our custom is to say it after the Song of the Day in Shacharis and before Aleinu in Minchah. Women also say this psalm in those same places: after the Song of the Day in Shacharis and before Aleinu in Minchah. From the second day of Rosh Chodesh Elul—that is, 1 Elul... Perhaps it’s important to clarify that Rosh Chodesh Elul lasts two days. The first day is 30 Menachem Av, and on that day we begin saying the psalm “L’Dovid Hashem ori v’yishi.” The second day is 1 Elul, when we begin two additional customs. The first custom, as the Frierdiker Rebbe relates, was received by our Rebbeim from the holy Baal Shem Tov, who received it from his teacher and master, Achiyah

11:50 Speaker 2 the Shilonite, that on each day of Elul they should add three chapters in order. On Rosh Chodesh Elul, 1 Elul, they recite Psalms 1, 2, and 3. On 2 Elul, they recite Psalms 4, 5, and 6, and so on in order until Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur, they recite nine chapters at each prayer, according to the division for that day, and at Ne’ilah they complete Tehillim in this way. Of course, women also recite these chapters. If someone missed chapters during the month, she should recite the chapters for the current day and make up what she missed. Alongside this, we should know that Elul is very much a time for reciting Tehillim abundantly. In other words, in addition to this schedule instituted by the holy Baal Shem Tov, there is an emphasis on saying as much Tehillim as possible during Elul. There is a story about a chossid who was traveling to the big city during Elul. He came to ask the Rebbe Rashab for a blessing for his journey. The Rebbe Rashab said to him, “You’re going to the big city? Then please buy me a Tehillim there, because now is Tehillim season.” So during these days of Elul, we should increase our recitation of Tehillim abundantly, in addition to reciting it according to the holy Baal Shem Tov’s instruction and practice. Starting on Rosh Chodesh Elul, there is a very important practice: every woman should add to what she writes to a friend a wish that in the coming year, during the approaching Days of Judgment, she be inscribed and sealed for a good and sweet year. “A good year—may you be inscribed and sealed,” or “May you be inscribed and sealed for a good and sweet year”—any wording that mentions a good and sweet year and blesses her friend with it. The Rebbe added, citing the righteous Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, that from 15 Menachem Av onward, we already begin expressing this wish for a good year and to be inscribed and sealed for good. And this custom

14:33 Speaker 2 certainly applies to everyone, especially nowadays, when we have many writing programs. We use many ways of writing—messages, emails, and the like—and anyone can add what is called an automatic signature. So it is certainly right and fitting to add this blessing to the signature: “May you be inscribed and sealed for a good and sweet year.” One of the acronyms for Elul, as we mentioned earlier, is “each person to his fellow, and gifts to the poor.” Tzedakah has exceptional power to help a person in the work of teshuvah, so there is a special emphasis on giving more tzedakah during Elul. The Rebbe points out that, along with increasing tzedakah in general during Elul, we should give more to those who do not have the means to buy enough provisions to enjoy food and drink on Rosh Hashanah. For on Rosh Hashanah there is a great emphasis on eating and drinking with enjoyment, as the verse says: “Go, eat rich foods and drink sweet beverages, and send portions to those for whom nothing has been prepared.” In other words, it is not enough that we eat and rejoice; those who have nothing must also be able to eat and rejoice on Rosh Hashanah. “For the joy of Hashem is your strength.” On Rosh Hashanah, the day we crown the King, Hakadosh Boruch Hu reveals the inner dimension of His kingship—His innermost desire to be King over the entire world, particularly through the service of the Jewish people, the nation close to Him. So there is joy here, exultation together with awe—inner happiness and joy—and this is expressed in eating and drinking: “Eat rich foods and drink sweet beverages.” Our increased tzedakah should therefore take this form as well: seeing to it that no Jew lacks the means to “eat rich foods and drink sweet beverages.” This is in addition to what applies to every Yom Tov in general, for every Yom Tov has the mitzvah of rejoicing on Yom Tov, of eating

17:20 Speaker 2 meat and drinking wine, of rejoicing. But the heart of the mitzvah is not merely to rejoice oneself. Rather, as halachah states, one must gladden the hearts of orphans and widows—bring joy to those who have nothing. But if, G-d forbid, a person rejoices only for himself and does not care what happens to someone else, may Hashem spare us, the verse says of this: “I will scatter dung upon your faces, the dung of your festivals.” In other words, Hakadosh Boruch Hu derives no satisfaction from it. So for Hakadosh Boruch Hu to derive satisfaction from our personal joy in a festive meal, in eating and drinking in honor of Hashem’s festivals, we must make sure, and take action, so that those who have nothing can also rejoice on Rosh Hashanah, which we are discussing now, and on the other festivals as well. One of the main themes of Elul is searching. As is well known, the word “Elul” is related to a word for searching in Aramaic. The verse says, “And they shall search out the land.” How does the Targum render “and they shall search”? “Viyalelu yas ara.” The word “Elul” comes from a word meaning searching. In other words, during Elul a person needs to search and examine what requires correction. That is why chassidim and people of good deeds have the custom of checking their tefillin and mezuzos during Elul. Women should certainly help the men with this—making sure that a husband sends his tefillin to be checked, and that if there are children of bar mitzvah age or older, their tefillin are checked too. In addition to tefillin, the mezuzos must also be taken for checking. A woman who lives alone, or lives with her children, should likewise send her mezuzos to be checked during Elul. It is important to clarify the procedure for checking mezuzos: first, remove the mezuzos from all the doorways except the main entrance. Leave the mezuzah at the main entrance in place and send the others to be checked. When they return, affix them in their places; if more than a day has passed, one must also recite a blessing when affixing them. Then take the mezuzah from the main entrance to be checked, so that the home is never

20:13 Speaker 2 left without mezuzos. An inhabited Jewish home must have a mezuzah. The custom during Elul, beginning on Rosh Chodesh Elul, 1 Elul, is to sound the shofar after Shacharis. Women generally do not pray Shacharis with a minyan on weekdays. It is important to know that, unlike on Rosh Hashanah, hearing the shofar during Elul is not an obligation. This shofar sounding is meant to awaken people to teshuvah, as the verse says: “Can a shofar be sounded in a city and the people not tremble?” The sound of the shofar awakens the heart to teshuvah; it also has a weeping sound that penetrates deep into a person’s heart. Since the purpose of sounding the shofar during Elul is to awaken us to teshuvah, it is certainly very important for women to hear it when possible, but they are not obligated. In other words, a woman who did not hear the shofar on one of the days of Elul has not lost out on an obligation, and there is no need to turn the world upside down over it. At the same time, it is very important for school administrators to arrange for someone to come and sound the shofar during Elul for the teachers and the girls, and for the kindergarten teachers and children, so that the boys and girls, too, will be prepared for Rosh Hashanah through the awakening brought about by the shofar. More generally, the Rebbe says that when gatherings of Jews are held, it is appropriate to sound the shofar there. So certainly, on one of the days of Elul, when a gathering is held to open the school year or prepare for Rosh Hashanah, someone should be brought to sound the shofar for the teachers and students. Another area in which we should increase during Elul is Torah study. Words of Torah provide refuge. “And I shall appoint for you a place of refuge”—this refers to Torah. Torah provides a person with refuge, and so throughout Elul there should be a special increase in Torah study. What should we study more of? The Rebbe explains that we should increase our study of subjects connected with

23:12 Speaker 2 Teshuvah. Igeres Hateshuvah in Tanya, Mitzvas Hateshuvah by the Tzemach Tzedek in Derech Mitzvosecha, Shaarei Teshuvah by the Mitteler Rebbe, and Hilchos Teshuvah in Rambam. Some chassidim also had the custom of studying Tikkunei Zohar. The Rebbe says that this increase in Torah study on the subject of teshuvah applies to both men and women. In other words, women, too, can and should study Torah on the subject of teshuvah. This is what the times call for, and by studying these matters in Torah, we bring about those very aspects of teshuvah. Let me explain. As is known, teshuvah has several levels, broadly divided into lower teshuvah and higher teshuvah. A person asks himself: How can I attain all these levels of teshuvah? The Rebbe raises this question in one of his holy sichos and answers that when a person studies Igeres Hateshuvah in Tanya, where the Alter Rebbe explains these aspects of teshuvah, those very aspects are brought about within him. This is along the lines of what our Sages, of blessed memory, say: “Let our lips substitute for bulls.” When a person studies the Torah laws of a burnt offering, it is as though he offered a burnt offering; when he studies the Torah laws of a sin offering, it is as though he offered a sin offering. So, too, when a person studies the subject of teshuvah, it is as though he has carried out all those aspects of teshuvah. Therefore, when any one of us, man or woman, increases our study of these matters, that study itself brings about the corresponding teshuvah. One of the most special days in the month of Elul is Chai Elul, the birthday of the two great luminaries, the holy Baal Shem Tov and the Alter Rebbe. As the Rebbe puts it, Chai Elul is the day that gives life to the service of “I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine.” Through Chai Elul, there enters

26:09 Speaker 2 a new approach to all the work of teshuvah and to the connection of Jews with Hakadosh Boruch Hu during these days of Elul. So this day should be used for farbrengens and gatherings to strengthen the service of Elul: the men in a way suited to them, the women in a way suited to them, and the children, boys and girls, in a way suited to them. Administrators and educators should therefore make a point of speaking and farbrenging with the girls and boys during these days, especially on Chai Elul, to inspire them in the special service of Elul. The Rebbe also draws particular attention to the fact that the last twelve days of the year begin on Chai Elul, with each day corresponding to one month. That is, each day offers an opportunity to rectify an entire month. On Chai Elul we rectify Tishrei of the past year; on 19 Elul, Cheshvan of the past year; on 20 Elul, Kislev of the past year; and so on. These days therefore have special significance and exceptional power to elevate every aspect of a person’s service of Hashem. After Chai Elul comes Shabbos Selichos. In general, Selichos are recited for at least four days before Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah cannot fall on Sunday, Wednesday, or Friday—the rule known as “Lo Adu Rosh.” So if Rosh Hashanah begins on Wednesday night, the start of Thursday, Selichos begin on the Saturday night closest to Rosh Hashanah. But if Rosh Hashanah falls earlier in the week, on Monday or Tuesday, Selichos begin a week earlier. The Shabbos before Selichos begin is called Shabbos Selichos. The custom is to hold a farbrengen on that Shabbos or after Shabbos, and the Rebbe writes that women, too, should hold a farbrengen of their own for Shabbos Selichos. They should therefore arrange a time to farbreng, either on Shabbos itself or on Saturday night. On Saturday night, we recite

29:23 Speaker 2 Selichos shortly after midnight. The custom is that women also recite Selichos. They are not obligated to, but women have customarily recited Selichos, or at least part of them. It is therefore very important for women who are able to come to the synagogue for Selichos. Before reciting Selichos, it is appropriate to give tzedakah. After the psalm Ashrei, we begin Selichos with “To You, Hashem, belongs righteousness,” and we seek Hashem’s tzedakah. So we add to our own giving of tzedakah in preparation for Selichos. A woman who goes to sleep beforehand so that she will have the strength to get up for Selichos should, of course, recite the bedtime Shema and the blessing of Hamapil before going to sleep. When she wakes after midnight, she should recite the morning blessings. On Saturday night, as we said, Selichos are recited shortly after midnight. On the other days, from Monday onward, Selichos are recited in the morning. On Monday we say Monday’s Selichos, on Tuesday we say Tuesday’s Selichos, and on Erev Rosh Hashanah we say the Selichos designated for Erev Rosh Hashanah. Someone who could not recite Selichos on Saturday night can recite them on Sunday morning. Someone who did recite them on Saturday night does not need to recite Selichos on Sunday morning, because Saturday night is already considered part of Sunday. When reciting Selichos alone, one does not recite the verses beginning “And Hashem passed before him and proclaimed”—what we call the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. One may look at the words, but one does not say them aloud when alone, only with a congregation. Also, toward the end of Selichos there are passages in Aramaic. A woman reciting Selichos on her own

32:10 Speaker 2 without a minyan does not say those Aramaic passages, but she may recite the rest of Selichos even when she is alone.