The Mitzvah of Procreation - Rabbi Menachem Mendel Harel shlita

00:02 Speaker 1 You’re listening to “Lema’an Yishme’u,” a podcast from Machon Halacha Chabad.

00:09 Speaker 2 Today, with Hashem’s help, we’ll discuss the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying. This is one of the things at the very center of a person’s life, of a husband’s and wife’s life, especially among the Jewish people. The mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying is the first mitzvah in the Torah, where it says: “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.” Every Jew is commanded to be fruitful and multiply. This is also how the Shulchan Aruch rules at the beginning of Even HaEzer, the section dealing with matters between husband and wife: A man is obligated to marry a woman in order to be fruitful and multiply with her. The Shulchan Aruch adds: “Whoever does not engage in procreation is as though he sheds blood, diminishes the Divine image, and causes the Shechinah to depart from Israel.” Having children, being fruitful and multiplying, is fundamental to the life of the Jewish people. So when we think about fulfilling this mitzvah, especially in our own lives, where we sometimes face all kinds of pressures—pressures on our time, financial pressures, and sometimes, as funny as it may sound, social pressures, when people are afraid others will look at them and say, “Wow, how many children do you have?”—we need to know that a Jew’s eyes and outlook should be directed where Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants them directed. And Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants our eyes—and where our physical eyes are directed, the eyes of our mind should be directed too—to focus on being fruitful and multiplying and bringing Jewish children into the world. This raises a basic question: How many children must a person have to fulfill the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying? Although there is a disagreement about this in the Gemara, the halachic ruling is that a person must have a son and a daughter. So if a person has many sons, or conversely, many daughters, but still has no son—or has sons but no daughters, as we said, no daughter—he has still not fulfilled the mitzvah of procreation. This obligation remains a mitzvah

03:03 Speaker 2 like every other mitzvah, like the mitzvah of tefillin and the mitzvah of keeping Shabbos, until he has a son and a daughter. Someone might ask: If he already has a son and a daughter, is he then exempt? Well, look at something very interesting that Tosafos wrote. Tosafos wrote that if a person were to say that having brought a son and a daughter into the world is enough and he need not have more, then if all Jews did so, the descendants of Avraham Avinu would, G-d forbid, eventually die out. So G-d forbid that a person should be content with having a son and a daughter. What’s more, our Sages learned from the verse, “He did not create it to be desolate; He formed it to be inhabited,” that in addition to the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying—having a son and a daughter—a person must engage in the mitzvah of populating the world. In other words, he should help ensure that there are as many people as possible in the world, especially Jewish children. And the Shulchan Aruch already defined this, even before we turn to Chassidus, the approach of Chassidus, and the Rebbe’s wishes on the matter. The Shulchan Aruch, which is a foundation for how Jewish homes conduct themselves, says that this touches on the image of the Shechinah, on the presence of Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s holiness in the world. A person must therefore work to bring children into the world and populate it with as many Jewish children as possible. In addition, there is a mitzvah known as the mitzvah of “in the evening.” Our Sages cited the verse: “In the morning sow your seed, and in the evening do not let your hand rest, for you do not know which will succeed, this one or that one.” That is, when a person is young, in the morning, he should sow his seed, bringing children into the world; and in the evening, even as you begin to grow older, do not let your hand rest. Why? Because you do not know which will succeed, this one or that one. A person should seek to bring another Jewish soul, another Jewish child, into the world. Perhaps the child born now will be the one who succeeds, the one who is special, who may bring great deliverance and salvation

05:48 Speaker 2 to the Jewish people. I heard a story from the great-grandson of the woman it happened to. He tells it this way: His grandmother lived in one of the Jewish towns in Poland. There, thank G-d, she had children—by then she had around ten children, thank G-d. Then, when she was older, she suddenly got it into her head that she wanted to have another child. She spoke to her husband about it and asked her friends to pray for her, because she wanted another child. Everyone said to her, “What do you need that for? Thank G-d you have ten children, may there be more, and they behave properly and follow the path of the Torah. Why do you need another child? Why take that risk at your age?” But she persisted, pleaded, and prayed, and thank G-d she merited to have another child. He goes on to tell how, not many years later, the terrible Holocaust came, and sadly, the parents and their first ten children were killed al kiddush Hashem. May we be spared. May Hashem avenge their blood. It was precisely the youngest child, the one born after her prayers and pleas in her later years, who survived, went up to the Holy Land, established a home there, and left behind, thank G-d, a large and blessed family. That child who came “in the evening” was the one who, in effect, saved and rebuilt the family’s life after the rest of it had been cut off, as we said. We should also know something else very interesting: That young child can bring salvation to his parents. The holy Zohar relates that once, Rabbi Yosi’s friends went to visit him and found him dead. His young son—he had a son and a daughter—was sitting by his face, crying and shaking the heavens with his cries. When they saw him weeping, they stood nearby but did not approach the child or Rabbi Yosi. Suddenly, as the child cried and prayed to the Master of the Universe, demanding that He return his father to him alive,

08:29 Speaker 2 a pillar of fire descended from heaven. They understood that this was a great sign that a miracle was about to happen. And indeed, the great wonder occurred: Rabbi Yosi came back to life. After they had been with him and rejoiced with him over the miracle that had happened to him, he told them that when he reached the world above, after his soul had left his body, his son began to cry and shed three hundred and sixty-five tears. That is how he told it. Those tears shook all the heavens and the highest heavens and gave Hakadosh Boruch Hu great pleasure. They brought forth whole groups of angels, advocates—group after group of angels—who said before Hakadosh Boruch Hu, “Let him raise his son in Torah.” In that merit, Rabbi Yosi was given another twenty-two years to live and teach his son. This story teaches us that beyond asking whether having another child is a mitzvah, whether it is an obligation, and how far that mitzvah extends, another child can bring salvation to the parents. Another child gives them an additional reason to remain in this world and draws down an additional flow of blessing upon them from above. As our Sages say, every child comes with his bread; every child comes with his basket. Every child brings with him, and opens with him, a channel for an abundance of blessing flowing down from above. At the same time, the question sometimes comes up: But it is still hard. Some people claim it is impossible, and sometimes very painful statements are made as well. We need to clarify another point here: When we have children, we form a deep partnership with Hakadosh Boruch Hu. After all, Hakadosh Boruch Hu tells us in His Torah: There are three partners in a person—Hakadosh Boruch Hu, his father, and his mother. To picture this partnership with Hakadosh Boruch Hu by way of an analogy, imagine someone were approached and told: “I’m giving you the opportunity to invest in a business in which every

11:04 Speaker 2 Any investment you make in this will surely bring you success. We know that people take out loans for investments like these. The more secure and profitable an investment is considered, in the language of the world, the more a person does everything he can to invest in that business, in that partnership, to enjoy the returns it produces. So when we are talking about a partnership with Hakadosh Boruch Hu—investing together with Hakadosh Boruch Hu, the true and eternal partner in having children, raising them, and seeing them continue through life as offspring blessed by Hashem—that is an even greater investment in the partnership. When we bring another child into the world, we have increased our partnership with Hakadosh Boruch Hu. We have increased our partnership with the One who bestows good upon all, whose goodness is expressed in doing good. So only more good can come of it. These are points that sometimes need further emphasis, further clarification, words of encouragement. For if the world in general is called olam because it conceals and hides, then in these matters the concealment is even greater. The holier and more elevated something is, the greater and stronger the resistance and concealment surrounding it. That is why we need to keep reinforcing, discussing, and encouraging this matter. At the same time, we Chabad chassidim have something special. Because of “How fortunate we are, how good is our portion,” we do not merely do what is necessary or obligatory, or only what benefits us. We have a special education that teaches us to set aside our own interests for the good of another. And the good accomplished by having more children is a great good for the entire world. Every additional Jew brings more holiness and completes the Divine image, as mentioned earlier. Moreover, every additional child born brings us closer to what our Sages, of blessed memory, said: “The son of David will not come until the souls in the Guf have been exhausted.” There is a treasury of souls above,

14:11 Speaker 2 and those souls are waiting to be drawn down into the world through the birth of children. The more children are born, the more souls are drawn from there. That treasury is thus gradually depleted, and the Geulah comes closer. There is something else we need to know: every additional Jewish child born into the world adds to the revelation of Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s holiness in the world, to the sanctification of His Name. As the prophet says, “This people I formed for Myself; they shall tell of My praise.” The more Jews there are, the more His praise is made known. One more member of the Jewish people means one more Jew who makes His holiness known. So for the good of the Jewish people as a whole, one must set aside one’s own interests and work for the good of the community. In the years when people were talking about family planning, saying that it was not right for a family to have too many children—that each child needed time to grow, mature, and develop before the family could finally accommodate another child, and that parents, too, needed to learn how to raise their children—the Rebbe addressed two broad issues. First, the mitzvah and obligation itself. Second, the benefit to the parents; and within that second point, a third matter: the children’s upbringing and education, specifically when there are many children. First of all, there is the obligation, the mitzvah, and the holiness of it. We mentioned earlier the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply, and that our Sages connected it with “He formed it to be inhabited”—the work of settling the world. There is also the mitzvah of “In the evening, do not withhold your hand,” which we mentioned earlier. But there is another special point as well. The Rebbe notes that the verse says, “Be fruitful and multiply,” but it does not stop there. It goes on to say, “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and conquer it.” The world needs to be conquered, and so there should be at least a minyan of children at home. How much better if there are twelve, and better still

17:08 Speaker 2 if “fill the earth and conquer it” is fulfilled without limit. The more we continue to fulfill this blessing, the more abundant blessing is drawn down from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. And here we come to the second issue. A person asks: How can we educate so many children? How can we support so many children? Where will we find the strength? Hakadosh Boruch Hu says that every Jewish child who is born brings, first of all, a channel of sustenance from above. Second, with each additional child, a new abundance of compassion and strength opens up for the father and mother. As more children are born, the parents are given greater strength to care for them, educate them, listen to them, and set the right example. And when there are many children, they learn to help one another and to grow up together. From an early age, from infancy, they learn to give, to contribute, and to help. That itself gives parents the strength to raise their children with peace of mind and joy. Moreover, this argument about the difficulty concerns something temporary. Once the more challenging and difficult periods have passed, the nachas the children bring is so great that the period of difficulty cannot compare to it. The difficulty is as nothing beside the great nachas that comes later from the children we bring into the world. The joy they bring, the abundance of good, the nachas both father and mother derive from their children—all of this more than makes up for the difficulties, whether during pregnancy, at the time of birth, or in the early years, which are more challenging. So when a person thinks about the future, the present becomes easier too. And as we said, Hakadosh Boruch Hu blesses the present as well, giving us the strength to cope and succeed. And as for the argument about education—“How can we educate children in a generation like this? Give me time to raise them one by one, to make sure each one grows up as

20:05 Speaker 2 they should”—the Rebbe says: Look at what happened with King Chizkiyahu. And first, look at what happened with Noach. We will begin with Noach. When Noach left the ark, our Sages, of blessed memory, say that the entire world was desolate. There were no longer any other people in it—only Noach, the father, and his three sons. Noach said to himself: After a flood like that, after all the terrible things people did, can I have more children? Who knows what will become of them? Perhaps it is better not to have children. He was afraid to engage in the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying. Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave him another command: “Be fruitful and multiply.” Even now, Noach had to have more children. You need not worry about how they will turn out. You need to concern yourself with what is incumbent upon you, and what is incumbent upon you is to have more children. What will happen with them afterward is in the hands of Hakadosh Boruch Hu. We find the same thing with King Chizkiyahu. Chizkiyahu had not married, and Hakadosh Boruch Hu was very displeased that he was living alone, so He sent word that he would be punished for it. Chizkiyahu told the prophet Yeshayahu: I saw, apparently through ruach hakodesh, that my descendants would worship idols. They would provoke Hakadosh Boruch Hu. That was why, up to that very moment, he had thought it better not to have children. Better not to have children who would provoke Hakadosh Boruch Hu. The prophet Yeshayahu told him that Hakadosh Boruch Hu says: Do what is incumbent upon you. What happens with the children afterward is Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s concern. Chizkiyahu said to him: If so, to give me merit, let me marry your daughter, so that the children will have the merit of their ancestors. And indeed, he married the daughter of

23:00 Speaker 2 The prophet Isaiah, and children were born to him. Those children were wicked. One died young, and the other grew up to become Manasseh, who provoked Hakadosh Boruch Hu. He provoked Him so greatly that when the king of Babylon captured him and subjected him to terrible suffering, Manasseh turned to every idol he had worshipped, asking them to save him. Of course, not one of them could. Then he remembered that in his grandfather’s home they had spoken about Hakadosh Boruch Hu, about the Master of the world. So he said, “Master of the world, if You exist and You help me, I will do teshuvah.” Our Sages tell us that all the angels stood and blocked Manasseh’s prayer, because he had done such terrible things. They would not let his prayer pass through, so that Hakadosh Boruch Hu would not accept it. But Hakadosh Boruch Hu saw that Manasseh wanted to do teshuvah. Our Sages say that He carved a passage for him beneath the Throne of Glory. Hakadosh Boruch Hu opened a new path, one the angels did not know about, so that his prayer would be accepted. And Hakadosh Boruch Hu saved him. All this was so that no one could say the door had been closed to those who do teshuvah. So, in the end, that very Manasseh who was born to Hezekiah opened a door for generations of people seeking to do teshuvah. If Hezekiah had not fathered him, who would have carved out that passage? Who would have revealed the new light that can be drawn down through teshuvah? The Rebbe says something more: What is any physical suffering worth compared to that moment when you enter the room of a newborn baby, covered in a blanket, and go over and see how sweet he is, the special holiness upon him and the holy soul within him? What a delight that moment is! What joy it brings the parents! Can

25:50 Speaker 2 any suffering compare to that delight? So when we speak about this today, we are speaking about a conversation that exists in the public sphere. To my sorrow and pain, sometimes a woman is still in the first months of her first pregnancy, and already there are those who consider themselves wise warning her to ask for permission to use contraception immediately after the birth. Is that what should occupy a Jewish mind—stopping, preventing? Or should a Jewish mind be focused on the spiritual delight and the purpose of our mission in this world: to bring and reveal as much G-dliness as possible in the physical world? Of course, we must also address this question: there are times when a woman needs rest and must be given the opportunity, in accordance with halachah, to use contraception as needed, for as long as needed, in keeping with the Torah’s and halachah’s guidance. But even that should be in the spirit of “Desecrate one Shabbos for his sake so that he may observe many Shabbosos”: take a break so that afterward there will be strength to give birth to more Jewish children, to bring more holy souls into the world, and not, G-d forbid, the opposite. It is our responsibility to speak about this, to encourage it, and to rejoice that we have children—and as many children as possible—because this is Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s blessing. It is the drawing down of abundance from Hashem. As the Rebbe once put it: Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants to give you a gift. Can you decide when He will give it? Sadly, there is no shortage of stories we hear as rabbis about a woman who used contraception because the timing did not suit her, and afterward developed a hormonal problem. However hard she tries and however much she wants to, she cannot conceive naturally, and she has to undergo treatments, pain and suffering to have more children. Once, a woman came to the Rebbe and asked for a blessing to stop having children. The Rebbe opened his drawer and said to her:

28:51 Speaker 2 “Look how many letters there are, filled with pain and tears, from people asking to have children—and you are asking to stop Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s blessing.” We need to remember: this is the blessing, this is our continuity, and in the future it is also the nachas we will have. The Rebbe once said: Think about parents who, thank G-d, grow older and need help and support. They have only two children, or three, sometimes four. It becomes hard for them to ask their children for help, because how much can they place on one child? But when, without the evil eye, there are eight children, ten children, twelve children, they can share the responsibility among them. Each one is happy when the parents come to them, because it is not a burden; it happens infrequently. It benefits the children and makes them happy, and it makes the parents happy that they can turn to their children for help without overburdening them. Even this thought—even the thought of one’s own good in the future—should provide a push, an encouragement. May Hakadosh Boruch Hu help that, through our renewed commitment to the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying, to having more children, increasing the Jewish people and increasing the holiness of Hakadosh Boruch Hu in the world, the son of David will come in the merit of all these holy souls, with the revelation of the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, immediately, right now.