A Destruction Filled with Love - Tisha B'Av in Light of Chassidus

00:00 Look at something remarkable. The very month that is the hardest month of the year, the month in which the most difficult events happened to the Jewish people—the destruction of the first Beis Hamikdash, the destruction of the second Beis Hamikdash, the destruction of Beitar, and all the painful things we know happened during the days of the ninth... during the month of Av, especially its first days—that very month has the special name Av. A father is a symbol of love. A father is a symbol of closeness. What does that tell us? What do we learn from it? The Jewish custom is to call this month Menachem Av. So apparently Menachem Av means that our Father comforts us, as in the verse, “As a man whom his mother comforts.” Here, it is his Father who comforts him. Our Father in Heaven, Hakadosh Boruch Hu, comforts us. But notice something interesting: if it means that our Father comforts us, we should call the month Av Menachem—the father comforts the son. The father is the one comforting us. Menachem Av sounds as though we are comforting the Father. So today let’s talk about the deeper meaning of Menachem Av, the month of Av. When we get to the root of it, we’ll see something remarkable. Why is this very month—the month of the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, a month of mourning, a month of pain and sorrow—called Av? And not just Av, but Menachem Av. What does that mean? What does it teach us? What strength do we receive specifically in this month? We know that the names of the months are not arbitrary. They have a great deal of depth. True, the names of the months do not appear in the Torah, but already in Tanach, at least in its later books—in the books of Ezra and Nechemiah and Megillas Esther—we find the names of the months. As our Sages tell us, the names of the months came up from Babylonia. That means the Jewish

02:26 people began using them during the Babylonian exile. And of course, these names have depth and meaning. They are names that were sanctified through Tanach, the Written Torah, and also through the Oral Torah, where all the months are mentioned. So certainly the name of each month has layer upon layer of depth. Av is a much easier word to understand. Av, in Hebrew, in Lashon Hakodesh, means father. What is hard to understand is how this very month, when we reduce our joy, tells us “father.” What does it symbolize? What is it telling us? Chassidus explains this, and the Tzemach Tzedek makes a remarkable point. He explains that, on the contrary, when you see... Imagine you’re standing in a shul, a beis midrash, a public place, and you see an adult speaking sternly to a child, giving him words of guidance and rebuking him. You think to yourself: Who is this? Just some person who came across a child and started rebuking him? That’s not usual. An ordinary person generally won’t take a child and start shouting at him or speaking harshly to him. This must be his father. His father. A father can speak that way. Why? Because a father truly loves his son. There is very, very deep love here—that’s the point. Precisely because he loves his son deeply, he can correct him. He can set him straight and guide him. It’s just as King Shlomo says in Mishlei: a father who loves his son “is diligent in disciplining him.” He offers him guidance. He rebukes him. The rebuke comes from the depths of his love. Superficial love is expressed through rewards, gifts, and nice words. Anyone can give those. You don’t have to be a father for that. But to

04:40 discipline a child, you have to be a father—a real father, whose love is genuine and whose son feels that genuine love. It doesn’t come from a negative place, G-d forbid; it comes from deep love. That love is expressed precisely when the father corrects his son, disciplines him, and teaches him the right way. And that is the meaning hinted at in the name, in the word Av. Precisely because He is our Father and because He loves us, that love is outwardly expressed through rebuke and discipline, which is the theme of Tisha B’Av. The destruction of the Beis Hamikdash was not anger; it was not punishment in the ordinary sense of punishment. The destruction of the Beis Hamikdash was an expression of Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s deep love for the Jewish people. That is why the verse says, “For Hashem has washed away the filth of the daughters of Tziyon.” The Alter Rebbe discusses this at length in Tanya, Igeres Hakodesh, section 22. He explains the idea of washing one’s son. A king has a son. He could send servants to clean the filth from his son. But no—the king himself does it, precisely because of his great love for his son. So “Hashem has washed away the filth of the daughters of Tziyon.” Hakadosh Boruch Hu loves the Jewish people, so He Himself cleanses us, washes us, removes the dirt from us, and makes us clean. And that is really the whole theme of Menachem Av. Tisha B’Av is the cleansing, the washing with which Hakadosh Boruch Hu washes the Jewish people, cleanses them, and prepares them to be ready for the Geulah. So if we look at Menachem Av with a deeper perspective, it is the month in which Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s love is expressed and revealed from a deeper, more inward place. When a person looks at things from the outside, he sees them only on the surface. But when a person looks

06:52 more deeply, more inwardly, he sees an expression of Hakadosh Boruch Hu’s deep love. Now, of course, we ask Hakadosh Boruch Hu—and we say this in our prayers, mentioning it in several places—that He cleanse us and forgive us not through suffering, G-d forbid, not through difficult things, but through kindness and mercy. How does that work? If He is our Father, doesn’t He need to educate us and cleanse us? The Tzemach Tzedek explains that, yes, a father disciplines his son and corrects him. But when the father sees that the discipline and pain are not producing the right result, that his son is not getting the message, he changes his approach. On the contrary, he showers him with even more love, and that is what causes the son to change for the better. Especially when we are speaking of Hakadosh Boruch Hu, says the Tzemach Tzedek: Hakadosh Boruch Hu can do anything. Because He can do anything, He can cleanse us without suffering and without pain. Hakadosh Boruch Hu can cleanse us and prepare us for the Geulah specifically through abundance, blessing, and success. So when we reach Menachem Av, a Jew, as it were, has the ability through his service of Hashem during this month to transform the rebuke, to transform the darkness, to transform the bitterness—so that, on the contrary, there will also be a revelation of love and open kindness, even during these days. That is why, as the Rebbe taught us, when Menachem Av arrives—true, according to halachah, it says that especially when the Nine Days begin, we must increase our mourning practices. There are various things we are not permitted to do from Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av onward, and so forth—all the laws, halachos, and customs, and the requirement to reduce our joy, as our Sages say in Tractate Taanis: “When Av begins”

09:12 We lessen our joy. But even so, according to halacha, there are things that actually increase joy during these days. If you make a siyum on a tractate, then on the contrary, the siyum is an occasion when halacha permits rejoicing. We have seen this in earlier generations too, and the Rebbe spoke a great deal about making an effort to hold siyumim during these days, to increase joy and turn the bitterness into joy. We also spoke about studying the laws of the Beis Hamikdash. Through that, we turn the bitterness of the destruction into the joy of building. This is also alluded to in an interpretation brought in the sefarim of the words, “When Av enters, we lessen joy.” The Chassidic writings of the Baal Shem Tov’s disciples explain it this way: “When Av enters, we lessen”—period. We lessen the bitterness. We lessen the mourning and sorrow we feel over the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash during these days—through joy. “The precepts of Hashem are upright, gladdening the heart.” We study Torah, particularly subjects concerning the building of the Beis Hamikdash, the Geulah, the coming of Moshiach, and consolation. That itself gives us a deeper perspective and turns the bitterness into joy. And here we come to the wonderful depth of the month’s name, Menachem Av, rather than Av Menachem. When we say Menachem Av, it means that we, the Jewish people, comfort the Father—our Father in Heaven. Wow. It is not the Father comforting us, but we, so to speak, comforting Him. What does that mean? There is a wonderful explanation from the Maggid of Mezritch. He explains that when we speak about the destruction, the exile, and the pain of the destruction and exile, the one who truly suffers from the destruction and exile is Hakadosh Boruch Hu. The Maggid of Mezritch explains the Mishnah in Tractate Berachos: “One should stand to pray only in a state of koved rosh.” The Mishnah says that before a Jew stands to pray,

11:42 he needs to have koved rosh. What is koved rosh? A headache? What does it mean? Rashi and the Gemara explain that it means humility. Before praying, a person needs to reflect on thoughts that will bring him to humility and lowliness, to feel his own lowliness more deeply as he stands before the Shechinah, before Hakadosh Boruch Hu. “One should stand to pray only in a state of koved rosh.” Preparing for prayer means contemplating one’s own lowliness and Hashem’s greatness—something that will bring a person to a broken heart. That is how he can enter into prayer. The prayer itself, though, must be joyful. There is another teaching of our Sages: “One should stand to pray only out of joy.” The prayer itself must be joyful, but the preparation for it calls for koved rosh. The Maggid of Mezritch says that “rosh,” the “head,” refers to the Shechinah. A person needs to feel not his own pain over what he lacks, but the pain of the Shechinah—that Hakadosh Boruch Hu is, so to speak, in a state of heaviness. Hakadosh Boruch Hu suffers; the Shechinah is in exile. The One who is in exile and truly suffers the exile is Hakadosh Boruch Hu. After all, the Gemara says that when the Jewish people went into exile, the Shechinah went with them. The Shechinah accompanies every Jew in exile. “Wherever Israel was exiled, the Shechinah was with them,” says Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. So the Shechinah is in exile and suffers the pain of exile. A Jew needs to contemplate the suffering of the Shechinah. The pain of the Shechinah is much deeper. Hakadosh Boruch Hu truly feels what hurts—what the pain of exile is. What are we lacking in exile? At the beginning of Tractate Berachos, on page 3, the Gemara says that Hakadosh Boruch Hu cries every day: “Woe to the Father who exiled His children.” Woe to the Father who exiled His children? Hakadosh Boruch Hu, so to speak, grieves and regrets it:

13:58 “Why did I do this?” He feels the pain of exile, and He feels it far more deeply than we can understand. That is also why in prayer we say, “Our Father, merciful Father, in Your abundant mercy have mercy on us; in Your abundant mercy have mercy on us.” You, Hakadosh Boruch Hu, truly know how much mercy we need in this exile. That is what we ask: “In Your abundant mercy”—because You truly know our pain. And Hakadosh Boruch Hu truly grieves over our pain. So have mercy on us; may He finally have mercy on us and redeem us from this deep, dark exile. That, then, is the meaning of Menachem Av. The One who truly suffers the exile, who truly grieves, is the Shechinah. And a Jew has the ability, through his prayers, his Torah study, and his service of Hashem—especially during these days, when we turn bitterness into joy through Torah study and through studying the laws of the Beis Hamikdash—to comfort our Father in Heaven. That is the meaning of Menachem Av: the child comforts the Father. And the comfort we bring our Father in Heaven will lead Hakadosh Boruch Hu to turn these days into days of joy for us. The Arizal writes that specifically these days, when our righteous Moshiach comes, will become days of celebration and the greatest joy of all the joyous occasions and festivals throughout the year. This is stated explicitly in the verse: “The fast of the fourth month, the fast of the fifth month, and the fast of the seventh month”—these days will turn into gladness and joy. And the Arizal’s hilula, his yahrzeit, actually falls during the Nine Days, on 5 Menachem Av. There is something very interesting here, if you have noticed: both Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who revealed the inner dimension of Torah, the Zohar, and Rabbi Yitzchak

16:12 ben Shlomo, the Arizal, passed away during days of mourning, days of judgment. Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai breaks through the mourning of Sefiras HaOmer—the days of judgment associated with the passing of Rabbi Akiva’s students. The Arizal passed away during the Nine Days; he breaks through the sorrow over the passing of tzaddikim, bringing kindness and goodness into the world. He broke through the darkness of these days. Notice something else: Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai’s day is in the fifth week of Sefiras HaOmer, on its fifth day, Hod shebeHod—the fifth within the fifth, the fifth day of the fifth week of the Omer. The fifth of Menachem Av is in the fifth month. Menachem Av is the fifth month of the year, and the fifth is its fifth day—again, the fifth within the fifth, Hod shebeHod. These are the days of the Arizal’s hilula, like that of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Those who revealed the inner dimension of Torah also revealed to us the inner dimension of the destruction and the darkness, and that a Jew has the power to do this. So the Arizal writes that in the future, the inner dimension of the darkness will be revealed. It will be revealed that precisely within this darkness lies the deepest love our Father, Hakadosh Boruch Hu, has for us. That love will be revealed during these days, and so they will become the greatest joy. This is also alluded to by the at-bash system. As is known, the festivals throughout the year correspond to the days of Pesach, using the at-bash calculation: alef with tav, the first letter with the last; beis with shin. The first day of Pesach corresponds to Tisha B’Av. The first day of Pesach and Tisha B’Av always fall on the same day of the week. This year, the first day of Pesach was on Tuesday, so Tisha B’Av is also on Tuesday. Beis corresponds to shin: the second day corresponds to Shavuos, Wednesday. Gimmel corresponds to Rosh Hashanah. Daled corresponds to Simchas Torah. Every, every day

18:31 There is a connection here to another day in the calendar, one of the festivals of the year, that is linked to this day. It is something remarkable: the first day of Pesach is connected to Tisha B’Av. That is really the whole point—the redemption from Egypt and the Geulah through Moshiach. Tisha B’Av will be transformed into the greatest and happiest day. It is the day on which the redeemer of the Jewish people was born, as the Yerushalmi says. And the Arizal explains that this is why we say Nachem. Why is it that on Tisha B’Av, after midday, we already sit on chairs, and the comfort of the Geulah begins? This is the inner meaning of Menachem Av. A Jew must—especially during these days, all of us need to strengthen ourselves: to study the prophecies of the Geulah, to study the laws of the Beis Hamikdash, and thereby build the Beis Hamikdash; to make siyumim on tractates; to make an effort and increase our joy in Torah. “Zion shall be redeemed through justice, and those who return to her through tzedakah,” as it says in the verse we read in the haftorah of Parshas Devarim, Shabbos Chazon. Through justice, meaning Torah, and through tzedakah—if we increase in Torah and increase in tzedakah, we will merit to see these days transformed into days of rejoicing, gladness, and celebration. May we merit to comfort the Father, our Father in Heaven, and may our Father in Heaven comfort us. Together, may we all be comforted by the Geulah brought by Menachem, and merit to see the complete Geulah through Moshiach Tzidkeinu and the building of the Third Beis Hamikdash speedily in our days—even this month, during these days of Menachem Av.