Ki Teitzei: 5783 - Rabbi Shimon Zonnenfeld on the law of the wayward and rebellious son: Why is he judged according to his end rather than his current deeds? Four explanations. And also: Why was Rabbeinu Gershom called "Light of…

00:00 Speaker 1 Please.

00:01 Speaker 2 The weekly parsha speaks about a wayward and rebellious son. What is a wayward and rebellious son? The Gemara in Sanhedrin spells it out precisely: he eats a tartimar of meat and drinks wine—he is a glutton and a drunkard. The Gemara asks: Because he eats meat and drinks wine, does he deserve stoning? Do we stone him for that? Rather, he is judged in light of what he will become. Why? Because he becomes accustomed to living this way. When he uses up his father’s and mother’s money and looks for the food and drink he is used to but cannot find it, he will stand at a crossroads and rob people. The Torah says: Let him die while still innocent, rather than die guilty. That is why we stone him. This raises a question, and many people ask it. When Yishmael was about to die of thirst, it says, “Hashem opened Hagar’s eyes,” and she saw the well. The ministering angels came before Hakadosh Boruch Hu and argued: “For someone whose descendants will one day kill Your children through thirst, You bring forth a well of water?” Hakadosh Boruch Hu said to them, “What is he now—righteous or wicked?” They said, “Right now he is righteous.” Hakadosh Boruch Hu said, “I judge him as he is there”—according to where he stands right now. So why, with a wayward and rebellious son, do we judge him now and sentence him to stoning because he will one day rob people? Why not judge him as he is there? What is the difference between the wayward and rebellious son, whom we judge according to his future, and Yishmael, about whom we say, “as he is there”—what is he now? There are many, many answers to this. A great many. All the commentators address this question. So we’ll touch on a few of them. One answer is that, in the case of the wayward and rebellious son, it says: Why is the passage about the wayward and rebellious son placed next to the passage about the beautiful captive woman? “When you go out to war” and “see a beautiful

02:17 Speaker 2 woman.” Why? Rashi says: If he marries her, what will eventually happen? He will have a wayward and rebellious son. So because the wayward and rebellious son comes, from the outset, from a transgression involving the beautiful captive woman, we say that he is judged in light of what he will become. We are more stringent with him, so to speak. That is not the case with Yishmael. There we say, “as he is there”—what is he now? In other words, there is a particular stringency in the case of the wayward and rebellious son because of how it began.

02:50 Speaker 3 Yes.

02:51 Speaker 2 That is why we are more stringent with the wayward son: he is judged according to his future. There is another answer: the wayward and rebellious son himself will stand up and rob people. That is not the case with Yishmael. It is not he himself who will later do this to Hashem’s children; it is Yishmael’s descendants who will do wrong. With the wayward and rebellious son, by contrast, he himself will grow up and rob people.

03:21 Speaker 3 No, not his sons—his sons’ sons’ sons, many generations later.

03:23 Speaker 2 Yes, that is the point: it is about what happens later. Whereas with the wayward and rebellious son, we are speaking about him himself, so we are more stringent and judge him in light of what he will become. There is another answer: the wayward and rebellious son has already begun down the path that leads to robbing people. He has already become accustomed to this, so he is really— That is not the case with Yishmael. What was he at that time? He was righteous. He had done nothing wrong. The wayward and rebellious son has already started going off the rails, straying from the path. Where does that process lead? He will stand up and rob people. So that is why we… There is another answer: there is a difference between judgment in Heaven and judgment by an earthly court. An earthly court is more stringent than the Heavenly Court. It says that the Heavenly Court does not punish a person until the age of twenty. An earthly court, by contrast, judges him from the age of thirteen, once he reaches adulthood. With Yishmael, then, it was a matter of Heavenly judgment, so we say, “as he is there.” The Heavenly Court is not so stringent. An earthly court is more stringent, and that is why we see that the wayward and rebellious son is judged in light of what he will become. There are many more answers to this question. There is another point connected to this, and also to Tractate Gittin, which we are studying. We know that Rabbeinu Gershom instituted two decrees. What were they?

05:04 Speaker 4 Not to take a second wife.

05:06 Speaker 2 Not to take another wife. That is one decree. The second was that a man may not divorce his wife by force—only with her consent, only if she agrees. If she does not agree, he may not force a divorce. Rabbeinu Gershom is called “Me’or Hagolah,” the Light of the Exile. Why is he called that? It is a title particular to Rabbeinu Gershom. Why “the Light of the Exile”? Because the relationship between husband and wife is also an analogy for the relationship between the Jewish people and Hakadosh Boruch Hu. “The Torah that Moshe commanded us is a heritage”—do not read it as “a heritage,” but as “betrothed.” Now, when the Jewish people do not behave as they should, it might seem that Hakadosh Boruch Hu could either divorce them or take a second wife—yes, choose some other people as the nation close to Him. But Rabbeinu Gershom instituted these two decrees: divorce by force is forbidden, and one cannot take a second wife. So Hakadosh Boruch Hu must remain with the Jewish people even in exile. That is precisely why Rabbeinu Gershom is called the Light of the Exile. Have a good Shabbos. Good for you. May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.