Rabbi Peretz Chen | How does food affect our children's character? - Parshas Shemini

00:00 Hello. Sometimes we’re very, very hungry, and we see a plate of bourekas and eat one, then another, and another. Afterward, our stomach cries out, “Help!” It hurts. By contrast, when we eat something healthy—some vegetables, some wholesome bread—our stomach feels much better afterward, much calmer and more at ease. In today’s lesson, we’ll talk about food: what’s good to eat and what’s better to eat less of. But not just in terms of physical health; we’ve just talked about that. We’ll focus mainly on a deeper, spiritual perspective, and above all, we’ll look at the effect these foods have on our children. Because the principle is that everything physical comes from a spiritual source. So if food has an immediate effect on our stomach—some foods make us feel good and others less so—then spiritually, too, some foods do us good and others do not. Here’s an example showing that every physical thing has a root, a source, a connection to something spiritual. Our Sages say in the Gemara that every kind of animal found on land is also found in the sea, except for the weasel. There are weasels on land, but not in the sea. Now, making a statement like that is taking a very, very big risk. Why? The Sages who said it hadn’t dived into every sea and checked that all the land animals were there except for the weasel. Imagine if someone suddenly found a weasel in the sea—it would turn out, G-d forbid, that they were wrong. Or if someone established that a particular animal wasn’t found in the sea, they would say that our Sages had said something incorrect, G-d forbid. How could they make such a statement and take on such a great responsibility without any hesitation? The answer is that our Sages were holy people. They didn’t just

02:19 see things as they appear here in the world around us; they also saw the spiritual root of everything. They knew that everything physical has a spiritual root. They saw that all the animals exist on land, but they also saw that in the spiritual root of the sea, all the animals are present except for the weasel. They immediately understood and concluded that if the sea’s spiritual reality contains all the animals but no weasel, then, since everything is connected, the sea down here in this world must also contain all the animals except for the weasel. That’s why they could make that statement without any hesitation. The same applies to food. Just as, physically, some foods make us healthy and leave us feeling good, light, and comfortable, while others leave us feeling heavy and uncomfortable, so too, some foods lift us up spiritually, while others bring us down. Take matzah, for example. Pesach is coming soon, and the Zohar says that eating matzah shemurah—the round, handmade matzos—at the Seder brings a person healing and faith. It’s like an injection of faith directly into our veins. It brings a great deal of holiness, purity, and strength to our faith. What did I eat, after all? Flour and water. That’s all. Those are the ingredients of matzah; there’s nothing else in it. But eating it at the time the Torah tells us to eat it lifts me much higher. It strengthens my faith and also brings me healing. It’s no coincidence that one of the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s campaigns—like the tefillin campaign,

04:32 to help as many Jews as possible put on tefillin; the kashrus campaign, to eat kosher at home; the mezuzah campaign, to make sure the mezuzah is kosher; and the Ahavas Yisroel campaign—is the matzah campaign. Its goal is to see that as many Jews as possible eat at least one kezayis of handmade matzah shemurah at the Pesach Seder. Why is that so important? Because it’s a food of faith. It’s a food of healing that’s available only once a year, so we can’t pass it up. That’s why you see how much effort Chabad puts into distributing it and making sure as many Jews as possible eat handmade matzah shemurah on the holy night of the Seder. So there’s an example of a food that lifts us to the greatest heights. But by the same token, there are foods that can bring us down spiritually. When someone eats something non-kosher, G-d forbid, that food damages or weakens their faith and fosters undesirable traits. I saw an interesting study saying that during the terrible Holocaust, those accursed Nazis—may their names and memory be erased—fed their soldiers meat from predatory animals. Not just beef and poultry, but meat from predators, with the aim of instilling cruelty in their soldiers. It’s interesting that in Judaism, the animals we eat—the kosher animals—are not predators. Food has an effect. It affects me and my behavior. That’s something quite tangible: it affects a person’s physical behavior. But it also affects a person’s faith spiritually. For example, one of the things whose level of kashrus is the subject of halachic discussion is chalav

06:57 nochri. Chalav nochri is milk whose milking was not supervised by a Jew. The halachic concern is that non-kosher milk might be mixed into it, since a Jew did not supervise the milking. There are halachic discussions about this, and leading halachic authorities have debated whether perhaps it is permitted today, since dairies nowadays are generally modern facilities where milk isn’t mixed that way. Some say that in a pressing situation, when there’s no alternative, one may be lenient. Others say no. There are extensive discussions about it. But there is a statement from the Frierdiker Rebbe, which the Lubavitcher Rebbe quoted in letters and spoke about: eating chalav akum weakens faith. It arouses doubts about faith. I even saw a letter in which the Rebbe writes to someone to try not to give chalav akum to children and young people. Why? The Rebbe says that young people today are already so confused—and in our time, we see this especially clearly. Young people are confused, occupied with foolish things, and don’t know what’s right and what isn’t. So the Rebbe said in that letter: Why further confuse someone who is already confused? The Rebbe’s approach, then, is clear: make every effort to avoid giving them chalav nochri. Are there any questions? The same goes for powdered chalav nochri. Some rabbis say there is more room to be lenient and more reason to permit it. Others say absolutely not: it is just as serious, and one must be very, very careful about it. In Chabad, we are very particular not to touch either chalav nochri or powdered chalav nochri, because it weakens faith. Non-kosher food has an effect. So unlike matzah, a food that sends us soaring upward, matzah,

09:07 Food that isn’t up to a high standard of kashrus pulls us down. There’s a story about a family of G-d-fearing, observant Jews whose child suddenly began asking questions about faith. The parents were alarmed: Did he not believe enough? They were very, very worried and turned to the Rebbe. The Rebbe told them to check what their child was eating. They discovered something they hadn’t noticed before: one of his favorite foods, which they regularly bought for the house, was kosher, but under a very low, minimal standard of supervision. They switched the product, and the questions stopped. There is a direct connection between what a person eats and his faith, and the strength of that faith. So our task as parents is to make sure our children eat not just kosher food, but food with the best kashrus standards we can find, with no questions about it. If a product has a lower standard of kashrus that some accept and others don’t, it’s better for our children to give them food with a good standard of kashrus. It affects their faith, their souls, their faith in Hakadosh Boruch Hu, their desire to daven and their desire to learn Torah. It affects all of that very, very directly. So when we shop for the house, most of what our children eat is what’s on the shelves at home. And who buys it? We, the parents. Not someone else—we, the parents. When we’re walking through the supermarket doing the household shopping, let’s make sure to bring home as many products as possible with the best kashrus standards we can find, because it will affect our children. I even saw the Rebbe say that this is the mother’s special role in the home, because who

11:12 is dealing with the food all the time? The mother. So it’s the responsibility of both parents. The Rebbe emphasizes the mother’s role there, but it’s our responsibility as parents. And often, products without the best kashrus standards come into the house simply because we weren’t paying attention. We go to the supermarket, see something and buy it, but we have to pay attention to these things. There are many, many products with kashrus issues. Suddenly you discover that something is dairy and you didn’t know it was dairy—and it even contains chalav akum, powdered milk from non-Jews. These are things people often get mixed up about, especially today, when so many products look alike. Take Bulgarian-style cheeses, for example. I won’t name the dairy, but there are two containers that look almost identical. One has mehadrin kashrus, while the other, in a very similar package, has regular kashrus and contains powdered milk from non-Jews. Someone who eats it relies on the rabbis who permit it. They should follow their rabbis’ guidance. But anyone looking to be particular about kashrus, especially with what our children eat, needs to keep their eyes open. Today there’s a fairly premium ice cream that comes in several flavors with excellent kashrus. Magnum—Magnum. There’s Magnum with the kashrus of the Badatz Eidah Hachareidis, a very, very good standard, and there’s also Magnum with a lower standard of kashrus, containing powdered milk from non-Jews. So if my child wants ice cream, wants a Magnum, I’ll steer him toward the one with mehadrin kashrus. Why introduce unnecessary confusion for him? Why? Are there rabbis who permit it? Yes. But there are rabbis who say it’s problematic. If I try to give my children healthy food, the healthiest food I can, and keep them from eating junk—fewer malawachs and bourekas because they’re unhealthy, fewer instant meals because they’re unhealthy, and more things like avocados, vegetables and other

13:18 healthy foods—and many parents put energy into that and won’t compromise, then how much more so should we care about their spiritual health. Today there are wafers—Loacker wafers, you know the ones. Some contain powdered milk from non-Jews. There are also two varieties of those wafers with a particular mehadrin certification. So I’m standing in the supermarket, looking at the shelves, with both products in front of me. My job, my responsibility, is to take the one with the higher standard of kashrus. Maybe it tastes a little different. So what? Something much more important is at stake. The children will eat kosher food, and it will give them much deeper faith inside. It’s no coincidence that, in connection with the weekly parsha and non-kosher foods, it says they defile us. And from the wording in the Torah we learn that they don’t just defile us—they dull us: “Venitmeisem bam,” “you will become defiled by them,” can also be read as “you will become dulled by them.” It dulls us, because such food causes an inner spiritual dullness. So the conclusion and the message of this class is that we need to make sure to bring as much food with mehadrin kashrus into the home as possible. This is our responsibility to our children: to give them much stronger faith. So why wouldn’t we do it? Let’s also make sure they have physically healthy, nourishing food—less margarine and other unhealthy things. And no less importantly, let’s make sure that what goes into their mouths has good, mehadrin kashrus. With Hashem’s help, may we have much, much nachas from them. And by the way, earlier I mentioned matzah, which I also spoke about in a previous class. With Pesach coming soon, let’s make sure that our children, our neighbors, everyone joining us at the Seder, and anyone else we’re in contact with, have round, handmade shmurah matzah for the Seder. As the Zohar says, it is the food of faith and the food of healing. May we hear good news and have much, much nachas from our children,

15:33 and may we, this coming Pesach—and much sooner—sit down to a meal together with the dear hostages being held in Gaza. May they be with us by the Seder, long before then in fact, and certainly sitting with us at the central Seder, with Hashem’s help. And may that be at the Third Beis Hamikdash. Then we will also merit the resurrection of the dead, together with all those who were murdered and taken from us in this recent period. May the wounded be healed, and may the Jewish people be blessed with abundant blessing and success. If you feel that the message of this class speaks to you and could offer something valuable to others, share it with a friend. May we hear good news. All the best. Thank you very much. Goodbye.