Rabbi Peretz Chen | Let's strengthen the 2 foundations our home rests on - Parshas Vayakhel

00:00 Hello. Just as with any house or building, when you build it, it’s very important that the foundations be strong. That’s what ensures the building will be stable and won’t collapse, G-d forbid. So too, our home, our family, needs to be built on strong, solid foundations. When those are in place, even if certain things don’t go the way we wanted or planned, it’s not the end of the world. We can work those things out. With Hashem’s help, they’ll be okay. Today’s class is inspired by the weekly parsha, Parshas Vayakhel. We’ll learn how it shows us the great importance of strong foundations. When each of us got married—or some of us, at least—one of the blessings we received was that we should build a Jewish home on the foundations of Torah and mitzvos, on the foundations of Torah and Chassidus. The blessing emphasized the foundations, because that’s really the point. That’s the secret: when the foundation is strong, solid, and sound, things will, with Hashem’s help, go well. But we have to invest in making sure the foundations are as they should be. What are the foundations of a home? I’ll mention two now. There are others, but this class will discuss two that are very, very significant to the success and stability of our home. The first foundation is that the heads of the household—just as the head directs all the other parts of our body—the relationship between the heads of the household should be as healthy and sound as possible. The husband and wife: my relationship with my wife, her relationship with me, our marriage. It’s very, very important to invest in it and work on it, because when the marriage is healthy and there’s harmony between the spouses, that’s what enables us to get through all the challenges. After all, family life is full of challenges. There’s this difficulty with one child, a financial challenge, one issue or another. It never ends; it’s there all the time, and that’s

02:20 life. That’s okay, it’s healthy, and that’s how it’s meant to be. But to get through it properly, when the relationship between the spouses, the people running the home, is good, they manage the crises and challenges together. Then, with Hashem’s help, they can get through them. That’s something we need to invest a great deal of energy in. Sometimes, in the rush of life, with so many tasks, we don’t have time for each other. We’re busy with all the challenges, the day-to-day routine, the children, and work. But our marriage is number one. To succeed at all those tasks, we have to invest in our marriage. We have to make time for ourselves: go out to a restaurant or a café, or sit together at home in the evening when it’s a little quiet, over a cup of coffee, and talk to each other. We need to find time to develop and maintain our relationship. If something in the marriage isn’t going well, we need to address it, because that’s what makes the difference. That stability has an effect on everything that happens in our home. That’s one point, and of course there’s a great deal more to say about it, but that’s it in brief. Another foundation that’s very significant for our home is that, in our minds, in our plans, and in our outlook, it should be clear to us that we want our home to function as a Jewish home: a home that follows in the ways of our forebears, a home that follows the rules established by Hakadosh Boruch Hu, the Creator of the world. That’s a very, very important foundation. Before I got married, I was taught that there’s something you should think about while standing under the chuppah. After all, those moments under the chuppah are among the holiest moments in a person’s personal life. They’re the moments when he stands under the chuppah and marries the woman with whom he will build a home, with whom he will fulfill his life’s mission of establishing a Jewish family. I didn’t know what I was supposed to think about under the chuppah. What should I think about? The delicious food we’ll eat at the wedding?

04:34 The fact that I’m hungry, since our custom is to fast on the wedding day? What? Then they told me, they taught me, that I should think about the home I’m about to build, with Hashem’s help. A home whose children and descendants will be committed, G-d-fearing Jews, Jews for whom yiras Shamayim will be an inseparable part of life. That’s what we should have in mind under the chuppah, because those are the moments when the foundation of the home is being laid. So what direction do I want for the home I’m about to build? A home founded on Torah, on mitzvos, on Hashem’s ways. When that direction is clear to us as parents, we’ll act accordingly. Maybe it won’t work out, and something will get in the way. All sorts of things will happen, because things happen. But when that’s our intention—like with Waze, when that’s the destination I’ve set—I’ll try one thing and make a mistake somewhere else, then go back, consult someone, listen to an explanation, and do all sorts of things. But when reaching that destination is what we aspire to, there’s a much greater chance that, with Hashem’s help, we’ll get there. So these are the two tasks. First, to look after the relationship between us as a couple. And second, to make sure our direction is clear to us both: that our home will be a Jewish home, raised on Torah and mitzvos. A home that will carry the torch of the Jewish people from generation to generation. A home that will, with Hashem’s help, carry on the tradition of the Jewish people and follow in the ways of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, and of Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah. Where do we see in the weekly parsha how important it is for the foundations to be as they should be? This week’s parsha, Parshas Vayakhel, speaks about building the Mishkan—building a home for Hashem here in this world. And as part

06:46 of the service in the Mishkan, and later in the Beis Hamikdash, the practice was, as the Rambam writes at the end of the laws of Beis Habechirah, that every morning, even before daybreak, the kohanim would make a round of the Beis Hamikdash to see that everything was there, everything was in order, everything was standing, everything was all right. How did they make their rounds? They would take torches and walk in two groups, making a circuit until they met. Then one group would tell the other that all was well, everything was fine. The other group would say, “Yes, all is well, everything is in order, everything is fine.” That’s what they did every single day. But at the very end of the laws of Beis Habechirah, the Rambam writes that on Shabbos they didn’t walk with torches in their hands. Instead, they used lamps that had already been lit there before Shabbos. Why? Because on Shabbos, walking with a burning torch is forbidden. The Sages prohibited it. And that’s how the Rambam concludes the laws of Beis Habechirah. The question is: Wait, wait, wait—what’s the problem with walking with a torch on Shabbos? After all, there’s a rule that shevus prohibitions, things the Sages prohibited, are permitted in the Beis Hamikdash. Walking with a burning torch isn’t prohibited by the Torah. Lighting a torch certainly is prohibited by the Torah: “You shall not kindle fire in any of your dwellings on the day of Shabbos.” But walking with a burning torch isn’t prohibited by the Torah; it’s prohibited by the Sages. And since this is in the Beis Hamikdash, it should be permitted, because in the Beis Hamikdash one may do things that were prohibited only by the Sages, not by the Torah. So why did they use lamps that had already been burning there since before Shabbos? For example, here’s something permitted in the Beis Hamikdash precisely because it’s prohibited only by the Sages: It’s ruled that on Yom Kippur, the Kohen Gadol would immerse several times in a mikveh over the course of the day when changing his clothes—from his usual clothes, the garments of

08:54 Gold garments to white garments, the white garments set aside for Yom Kippur. But sometimes the mikveh was cold. So one way they would warm the mikveh, so the Kohen wouldn’t get cold, was to take a piece of iron that had been heated in a fire until it was extremely hot and throw it into the mikveh. It would give the water a burst of heat. The Sages prohibited doing that on Shabbos, and yet it was ruled permissible when they did it for the Kohen on Yom Kippur, because it was done in the Beis Hamikdash. Although it was prohibited by the Sages, prohibitions of the Sages were permitted in the Beis Hamikdash, even though there were other ways to warm the water. They could pour in hot water, and that could be done in a way permitted both by the Torah and by the Sages. Yet sometimes they would throw in that hot iron. Why? So the Kohen would have a warm mikveh, despite the prohibition of the Sages. In other words, prohibitions of the Sages were set aside when it came to the Beis Hamikdash. So why, during their morning rounds on Shabbos, were they careful not to carry torches? Why did they use lamps that were already burning? After all, it was permitted in the Beis Hamikdash. The explanation also helps us understand the importance of the foundation when building: the rule that prohibitions of the Sages were permitted in the Beis Hamikdash applied only once it had been built and was functioning as a Beis Hamikdash. But while it was being built, they did not permit transgressing the words of the Sages. Why? Because it was not yet a holy, consecrated Beis Hamikdash. At that point, they were still building it, still engaged in constructing a holy place. Once it became a holy place, that permission would apply. But for now, while they were building

10:54 it, there was no permission whatsoever to do things prohibited by the Sages. And so, when they made their morning rounds with those torches—even though this was after the Beis Hamikdash was already standing—the reason for the rounds, as explained, was not that they feared thieves had come in during the night. No thief would go near the Beis Hamikdash. That simply wasn’t a possibility. The whole reason they did it was to honor it. Since it was a magnificent building, physically and especially spiritually, part of honoring it was to make rounds with torches every morning. It showed how precious this place was to us. Again, they did not do it because they were afraid someone had entered and taken something. They did it out of respect for the building and its splendor. Since those morning rounds expressed the splendor of the building, showing how magnificent it was, they were, in a sense, part of making the building what it was. They showed, once again, that it was such a magnificent building that people made morning rounds even though there was no practical need. They honored it, much as guards sometimes stand outside a king’s palace not necessarily to protect it from thieves or robbers, but to show that it is an honored, magnificent place. So the morning rounds were not about guarding the Beis Hamikdash; they were about displaying the building’s splendor. They were part of making the building what it was. And as I said earlier, when they built the building itself, they did not rely on leniencies. When you build, you do it in the most meticulous way from the outset, without relying on any leniency. So on Shabbos morning, when they made their rounds, they conducted the inspection in a way that avoided carrying torches by hand in the first place, since the Sages had forbidden

12:57 it. They used lamps that had been prepared there before Shabbos. We see from this that once the Beis Hamikdash stood, they made use of leniencies. But when it came to building the Beis Hamikdash—to the construction, the structure, the foundation—they did not rely on any leniencies. Nothing less than the absolute best would do, because when it comes to the building, everything has to be as sound as it can possibly be. So too in our own home, the foundations need to be strong and healthy: the relationship between my wife and me, the direction in which I see our home going, the commitment to following in our fathers’ ways. Later on, yes, we’ll make a mistake here and a mistake there. We’ll stumble over something; we’ll face a challenge. That’s okay. It happens; it’s natural. We’ll find a way through it. Even if something starts to lean, that’s okay. It’s like a building: if the foundation is sound and later something in the house breaks or gets damaged, or there’s dampness, there’s a way to fix it. Foundations are hard. You can’t repair foundations beneath the ground. What’s on the outside can be repaired, and you’ll manage. You’ll work it out; it will be okay, with Hashem’s help. We just need to take care of the foundations, and that will bring blessing to everything that follows, with Hashem’s help. May we have much nachas, much blessing, much success, and much nachas from our children, with Hashem’s help. And may the things said here for our Jewish homes be a merit for the righteous soldiers, that they return home safe and sound from every front; that the wounded recover; and that the hostages, who are suffering so much, return home to their families safe and sound, with Hashem’s help. May we merit the coming of Moshiach and the resurrection of the dead, when all the righteous people who were taken from us will soon be with us again, with Hashem’s help. If you feel this class gave you something of value, a point to think about, a certain way of looking at the world, share it. Share it with a friend. Above all, may we hear only good news, with Hashem’s help. Thank you very much. Wishing everyone tremendous success

15:07 in raising their children. Good news and all the best.