עריכת חשבון נפש

00:00 This is Ygress, and today we are going to talk about a Cheshbon HaNefesh. We're going to talk about making a thorough accounting of all of our deeds and how often we should do it and when it's healthy and when it might be a little bit less healthy, a little bit about how to do it. The reason why we're talking about Cheshbon HaNefesh in the middle of the summer, it is not yet Elul time, which as we'll see in a moment, is the ideal time for Cheshbon HaNefesh, is I thought of it because of today's Chitas. Today's Chitas has the phrase Bo Cheshbon, right? Bo Cheshbon, That is, what is the great secret of people who are tzadikim? Who are the people who are able to conquer the yetzer haoras? They are people who make a Cheshbon HaNefesh regularly. They're the kind of people who look at the situation and are constantly evaluating their place in the world, what the world is relative to them, and how they can be better. Uh, so based on that, I thought we'd do a little bit of Cheshbon HaNefesh, and this is going to be one of those shiurim that surprises you, I hope, because it certainly surprised me a good deal. I was surprised by just about everything I found because I expected to find a ton of letters very positively pushing the idea of Cheshbon HaNefesh, and what I instead found is that the Rebbe is very hesitant about Cheshbon HaNefesh. He wants us to do it,

01:11 but it clearly makes him nervous. The Rebbe is clearly concerned that when people do Cheshbon HaNefesh, it might cause them to become sad or to focus on the wrong things or to focus on negativity too often. And so the Rebbe basically-- we're gonna see there's times he wants Cheshbon HaNefesh, there's times that he encourages it, but he always does it with a degree of caution, where we're supposed to take into account just how it might affect our mood and our total service of Hashem. A little bit of background before we get started. A lot of this stuff is in Igeres HaTshuvah, which we are now learning. So you're gonna be seeing it coming up soon. In Igeres HaTshuvah chapter seven, uh, the Alter Rebbe tells us that the proper time for a Cheshbon HaNefesh nowadays, really all times-- at all times the proper time for a Cheshbon HaNefesh, once again defining my terms, a Cheshbon HaNefesh is a serious accounting of what hasn't gone right in my service of God and what I can do to make it better. The right time for that is right before davening. Uh, but because we can't switch modes so quickly, you're supposed to think about how you're not perfect and how you could be better right before davening, and then you're supposed to serve God with joy as you daven. That's a little bit impractical. Since we can't do that nowadays, it's very difficult to switch modes from a mode of sadness and a mode of regret straight

02:11 into a mode of ecstatic prayer. The Alter Rebbe suggests that instead we do it at Tikkun Chatzos, that instead we do it at midnight when everybody, of course, wakes up at halachic midnight to mourn the destruction of the temple and is already pretty upset anyway. Uh, per Igeres HaTshuvah chapter ten, that also is not necessarily, uh, practical for everybody. Most people are not capable of waking up, at least nowadays, um, every night at midnight to mourn the destruction of the temple as they should be properly, and therefore per the guidance that you'll find in chapter ten and also from Ashpiyim in subsequent generations, nightly Tikkun Chatzos is also not for everybody. The idea of waking up in the middle of the night and mourning the destruction of the temple and working on your deeds every night at midnight, that's not for everyone either. In many circles, this was instead fulfilled through the Leil Shishi, through the idea of students in yeshiva staying up until, uh, staying up basically all night on Thursday night, learning Torah and working on themselves in general, a night of learning, a night of havrengen, etc. However, in many other places, Aravim advi-- have advised that the main time a Cheshbon HaNefesh should be happening on a regular basis at least is in the Kriya Shema that is said before bedtime. Before a person goes to bed, they say Shema and, uh, right around the Shema time, they think about their deeds and where they could be improving. So that's as

03:15 far as I knew about Cheshbon HaNefesh. Um, I assumed it was something that was, uh, that was, you know, the more, the better. That is not what we are about to find. So without further ado, we're gonna go into our letters. Let me start by telling you that it is clear from many letters, I just picked two examples. This one you'll find a letter almost every year from the Rebbe around Elul time. Uh, the Rebbe will write a letter around Elul saying now is the time for Cheshbon HaNefesh, that Elul is without a doubt the month that we are expected to be doing this. This letter that I chose out of literally one almost every year, uh, is from Tav Shin Lamed Hei. It is labeled Yud Alef Tav Kuf Tzadhei Hei. And the Rebbe writes, "Shalom Uvracha to the entire Jewish people, to all Jews everywhere they are, wherever they may find themselves. Shalom Uvracha. Chodesh Elul, the month of Elul, Chodesh Siyum Shel Shana, it's the last month of the year or the month of the Siyum of the year, the closing of the year. Hu Kayidu it is, as is well known, Chodesh Harachamim, it is a month of mercy, Ve'aslichas, and a time of forgiveness. V'achirim zehu Chodesh Shel Cheshbon HaNefesh." But in addition to it being a month of incredible grace, right? It's a happy month. It's a month of mercy and a month of forgiveness. It also is a month where we take ourselves and what we've done in

04:11 the past year pretty seriously. "V'achirim zehu Chodesh Shel Cheshbon HaNefesh." It is a month of an accounting, a Cheshbon HaNefesh. "Mishana ave-- Mishana Averes." It's a month of accounting about what happened in the past year. "Nikol Maisim Vapulis Nasu Meachish Lenus Veshadis Shamsu." The Rebbe says this pretty seriously, that during Elul I'm supposed to think about all of my actions and all of my deeds that I did, everything that, uh, all of my, uh, all of my, um, I guess talents and possibilities, all the things that I could have done, uh, that I-- uh, the opportunities that were wasted, the wasted opportunities. "Veshadiyas Shnech Matsu," that is opportunities that were wasted. It's Chodesh HaTshuva. It's a month of repentance. "Charata Al Avar," it's a month of regretting what happened in the past. It's "Kabbalah Teiva Al Ba," a month of making good resolutions for the future. "Hachan LeShana Chadasha," it's a preparation for a new year. "SheShana Baala Teiva," that this year will be-- that comes upon us will be good. "Teiva Mizus Shechalefes Vechol HaInianim, uh, Vechol HaInianim," uh, even better from the year that passed in all ways. And the Rebbe goes on to continue along that-- along those lines. So without a doubt, the month of Elul is a time for Cheshbon HaNefesh, and not like, you know, uh, a sort of a teddy bear version of Cheshbon HaNefesh. We're talking a person sits down every Elul and they say, "Here's where I could have done better. Here's my wasted opportunities. Here's

05:18 what I did wrong during the year," and we work on ourselves. So Cheshbon HaNefesh in the month of Elul, without a doubt, we are big fans of this. Specifically, there's one day in Elul that we're enormous fans of it, and that would be Chai Elul. There are several letters that say this too. I just picked an example, but this one you'll also find ten, twenty letters that all say the same thing. This one is labeled Tav Shin Chaf Tes. It's from the year, year Yud Gimel Elul of Tav Shin Yud. And, uh, here the Rebbe writes At near the bottom of the letter, "On this very special day, the day of the eighteenth of Elul, anybody who has anything to do with the message about this particular day, they certainly will therefore begin with an internal, uh, enthusiasm. That certainly as of Chi Elul, the eighteenth of Elul, this will be a day that will be the beginning of your very serious. A just accounting according to what's going on with you. About everything that's happened to you and everything that you've done in the past year with regret about the past, and good resolutions for the future, and proper preparation for Rosh Hashanah, Rosh Hashanah in general, and the Rosh Hashanah of Hasidis, which I guess comes a little bit later, uh, by Yud Tes Kislev. In any event, the-- the Rebbe in many letters says that Elul is the time for Cheshbon HaNefesh, and specifically Chi Elul is the day to make sure

06:42 that at least by then you've done Cheshbon HaNefesh, and ideally then is a good time to start Cheshbon HaNefesh. I remember seeing Sichos where on Chi Elul, the Rebbe sort of opens the farbrengen by saying, "It's Chi Elul and everybody has already done Teshuvah, so we can move on to Teshuvah iilah 'cause you're done with Teshuvah atah, the lower level of Teshuvah." But we certainly see many letters where the Rebbe reminds people that if you haven't started your Cheshbon HaNefesh yet, Chi Elul is the day to start. So if we're talking about Elul, specifically Chi Elul, without a doubt, this very serious accounting of where I am and where I'm going, of what I've done and, uh, and having charatah, real regret over the things that didn't go so well, without a doubt, that is firmly our shita. However, from there, it pretty much goes to be careful about your Cheshbon HaNefesh. If it's not Elul, the Rebbe wants us to be careful. I have here a letter where the Rebbe describes in some depth how to do a Cheshbon HaNefesh. Uh, this is labeled Hey Tav Shin Nun Dalet. You'll find it in Igris volume fifteen, page Taf Chaf Tes. This was given on Yud Tes Elul, Tav Shin Yud Zayin. And the Rebbe writes, "That I received from you a write-up of your Cheshbon HaNefesh." This person wrote a Cheshbon HaNefesh and sent it to the Rebbe. You, you write to me that it's a complete-- it's a complete list of-- so it's

07:46 a total Cheshbon HaNefesh. You gave me a thorough Cheshbon HaNefesh. We spoke about this in the farbrengen of Chi Elul, so it's appropriate, right? You did what I told you to do. In the farbrengen of Chi Elul, I said that you should do a Cheshbon HaNefesh, and you seem to have sent yours to me. It's based on the words of the Rebbe, "This is when the real Cheshbon begins on what happened in prior months." What the Rebbe is referencing there, which I'm sure many of you are familiar with, is that the eighteenth day of Elul is twelve days from Rosh Hashanah. So every day from Chi Elul, including Chi Elul, you can make a Cheshbon on one month of the past year. So you can start with what went wrong on Tishrei and what could be better, and then go on to Cheshvan. So, uh, eighteen-- the eighteenth of Elul, which is exactly twelve days before Rosh Hashanah, is just, uh, structurally a convenient time to start your Cheshbon for each month of the year, and that was what the Rebbe suggested. Now, the Rebbe writes, The Rebbe says, "I will caution you, though, that you need to understand the foundations of Hasidis, Toras HaChassidus. And this is also a law in the actual Torah, that the all divine service needs to be with joy and with a good heart." "And since a Cheshbon HaNefesh, a serious accounting of our deeds, is also a kind of service of God, therefore automatically." You gotta be joyous

09:00 and of good heart with that too. So making a Cheshbon HaNefesh and being miserable about it won't work because it is a mitzvah to always serve God with joy. Every time you're serving Him, it has to be with simcha, and a Cheshbon HaNefesh is a kind of avodas Hashem, so it has to be with simcha." He says one of the things to be most im-- to be most careful of when making a Cheshbon HaNefesh is something mentioned in the Hayom Yom of Chaf Gimel Sivan. We just read this Hayom Yom, and nowadays there's a, uh, there's an AI image that comes out with it every day. So we, we read it. We, uh, we, we read the cartoon. We all know the, uh, the Hayom Yom from Chaf Gimel Sivan. Uh, the Hayom Yom from-- Hayom Yom from Chaf Gimel Sivan is the one about how sometimes a yetzer hara can show up in a silk kapota. That's the idea that when you're making a Cheshbon HaNefesh, you have to make sure you know from what side each of your impulses have come from. Sometimes a person thinks they have good impulses, but it turns out that impulse is from the yetzer hara. And there, the Hayom Yom had instructed us that one of the best ways to know where my, uh-- whether my feelings are coming from the good side or the bad side is to ask, what are they going to result in? Is it something that's going to strengthen my Torah and

10:03 mitzvahs, or is it something that's going to do the opposite? If my impulse is going to strengthen Torah and mitzvahs, it's probably from the good side. If my impulse is going to not, no matter how good it feels, it's probably from the bad side. So the Rebbe is saying, when you make a Cheshbon HaNefesh, you gotta make sure when you're analyzing what prompted you to do one thing, and you're searching your heart and searching your deeds, you gotta be careful not to mischaracterize different things. In order to do that, use the rules in the Hayom Yom of the twenty-third day of Sivan. That I mention-- uh, oh, he says, "I'm also going to include other things." Yeah, I don't think we're gonna read this paragraph. Let's stop there for now. So the Rebbe has some advice. Number one, you gotta make sure that it is with joy, a Cheshbon HaNefesh has to be joyful. And number two, make sure that it's done honestly. Now, as for somebody who is doing their Cheshbon HaNefesh not the way the Rebbe suggests, that is not in the month of Elul and not with joy, the Rebbe has much stronger words. This letter is labeled Beis Shin Lamed Ches. This is from Tes Teves, Tav Shin Yud Dalet. And, you know, I, I, I hope I have time. I want to read this entire letter, I think. This letter is a, uh... This is a special letter. Um, this letter, I think we're gonna read the whole thing. Yeah.

11:04 The Rebbe says, "I received your letter where you wrote to me, uh, your situation, uh, regarding your Avodas Hashem." And he says, "You should, uh, Ɣ betach yedu al pi piskim u'mekabesim zeh melekh ha'mer. Certainly you know the expression of the Frieder Rebbe that, uh, regarding the Rav Tzadok, Rav Nachum of Chernobyler, which is mentioned in the Sicha of Pesach taf shin gimel. Shelitim tikkufas halach bechinam eizeh tzadd ba'tanoa pleinis u'ratzen pleini. A person has to every now and then take an accounting of where their urges and where their tanoas, where their leanings come from. Ki bash kaver sheini efshar levarem zeh mitarah kedoshim tav sheini. Viya du a gam keim piskim kav kedoshim tav mer, Rashab, which is again the one printed in the Hayemim." So he says basically what we saw in the last letter, which is when you're doing a Cheshbon HaNefesh, as I'm sure you know, you need to be careful to, uh, accurately analyze where your various feelings came from and not mischaracterize or miscategorize, uh, where yetzer tov and where yetzer hara comes from. Then he says this, "Parim medidan didan." This especially applies to what we're talking about here. "Shekinir v'michtav." When I look at your letter, here's what I see. "Hine cheshbon haNefesh shelaishe kesef edesav machlish haheshek vechaish le meleches melecha shamayim." I can tell from your Cheshbon HaNefesh that you sent to me, said the Rebbe, I can tell from the way you're writing about your Cheshbon HaNefesh that it is weakening your desire and

12:09 your, uh, enthusiasm for your holy work. "Heinu avedes achinuch hakasha." This person was involved in chinuch. They'd made a Cheshbon HaNefesh, and they'd come to some conclusions that were calling-- causing them to, uh, be weakened in their Avodas Hashem. "L'cheim karu levade shzeh metakbulas ha yetzer." Therefore, since as I told you earlier, we have to be very careful when we're making a Cheshbon HaNefesh to make sure that everything that we're doing is coming from the right side. This applies specifically to your Cheshbon HaNefesh. A Cheshbon HaNefesh, in theory, is a positive thing, but sometimes the yetzer hara comes wearing a silk kapota and says to you, "Hey, I think a great idea would be making yourself really depressed right now about your spiritual state. Let's do a Cheshbon HaNefesh." So the Rebbe's saying, it seems to me that this is what happened here. "L'cheim karu levade," it's almost certain, "shzeh metakbulas ha yetzer," that your Cheshbon HaNefesh is coming from your yetzer hara, not from your yetzer tov. Your yetzer hara told you, "Let's take an accounting." "Zeh nesiv ha'mbivur betanya ashavi lima atzva sima me'eleh lishmaya tarach lashes etzes benafshe." The Rebbe says this is in addition to the general rule that, uh, we alread- that we already have from Tanya, that, uh, even that, uh, if-- that sadness of any kind needs to be scheduled, needs to be put in your schedule because any spontaneous sadness is usually something that the yetzer hara is using to get the better of you. "Shkami zeh

13:13 mu van shafshashi hakol tunos esvias tad-todkos-todekes vekol zer tarach lisrach im yam betach lasurich gam negue lei." Says it could be you are right about everything, and nonetheless, you should be staying away from it because it causes sadness. "Hine mikol Cheshbon Nefesh shekesev dayan eini meivin mao habechen shevepayo levada atzla shekesev edesa." You see that sentence? It's a strong sentence. The Rebbe says, "From the entire Cheshbon HaNefesh that you wrote about, I'm still unable to find any outcome from it besides depressing you." So the Rebbe goes, "I'm reading your Cheshbon HaNefesh. I'm not seeing any room for improvement here. All I'm seeing is you down on yourself. Given that that's the case, this sure looks like this was a Cheshbon HaNefesh that came from the yetzer hara. Umeila ein zeh minyanei. Therefore, you should have nothing to do with it. Vies eves bechinuch, throw yourself with all power into the education of bnei av bnei Yisrael, chinuch hamakar vesliv lamavvim shamayim. Educate them in ways that bring them close to their Father in heaven. Uschar itaya m'bekavam kemes m'be-be-be-be-bezal asha idezeh meir Hashem einav gam hula leis v'mesilah elei v'es keel." As Chazal say on many occasions, somebody who educates the next generation or even the current generation, education in general causes the eyes of both to light up, and based on that, whatever growth you need will come through education. Continue to educate people, and Hashem will raise you up, too. What the Rebbe's saying in this letter to this person, just to summarize

14:21 what we read in this letter, is somebody did a Cheshbon HaNefesh. It had made them sad. They weren't happy with their spiritual state. And the Rebbe goes, "That's all I think you got out of it. Given that that's all I think you got out of it, you got a Cheshbon HaNefesh that made you sad, and it made you not want to do your work so well anymore, looks to me like this Cheshbon HaNefesh did not come from your yetzer tov. It looks to me like your yetzer hara wanted to get the better of you and seeing no other way, decided to convince you to do something very Chasidish, which is to think about how bad you are. And that is absolutely not something we want to be involved in." So, uh, the Rebbe is very cautious about a Cheshbon HaNefesh that comes from sadness or that motivates sadness because as we've seen, that's usually the yetzer hara dressed up in a silk kapota, to borrow the phrasing from the Hayemim of chaf gimel Sivan. We have a letter here. This is labeled daled kuf samech tes, along similar lines. This is from Chai Adar, tav shin tes zayin, and the Rebbe says, shalom u'bracha, we're only going to read the top part. "I'm responding to your note," he says. "I'm responding to your note." "Heni afshi b'chalav Cheshbon HaNefesh nochin," even though generally speaking, a Cheshbon HaNefesh, an accounting, is a good thing. "V'gam muchrach," and it's actually obligatory. You need to do this every

15:20 now and then. A person who does not have any sense of introspection is never going to grow. "Aval," but, "rak lefámim," only every now and then. "V'lo bechal shá v'shá," not constantly. People who are doing this every hour, every moment, they're gonna ruin their lives. "Kiv'vura in yanin b'makom acher," as we've explained in other places. "V'lachein hispanus hamatzav bechal pam va'pam k'nir shemiba aval eisim v'libun matim l'sidrei yeshiva." He's writing to a yeshiva student saying, "You're not learning as well as you should be because every two seconds, kiveyachol, constantly, every moment, every moment, you're constantly evaluating yourself. That is not healthy." So whereas aval constant-- uh, somewhat constant, regular, let's say regular. Regular evaluation is incredibly healthy. Constant evaluation is incredibly dangerous. "V'chein v'shar in yanin v'gin libriyos hanefesh v'briyos haguf." This also applies to anything having to do with health of the soul and health of the body, that it should be done, uh, excuse me. Yeah, that, that it should be done in that sort of way, that it should be done in, uh, not constantly, but it should be done with regular intervals. "V'yehi b'simcha v'libun matim l'sidrei yeshiva." He tells him he needs to make sure to be happy, et cetera, et cetera. Okay. I have a letter here which is gimel tuf pei alef. It's from Yud Gimel Eyar of Tav Shin Tes Vav, and the Rebbe writes, Shalom Ubracha. And it's once again along similar lines, uh, which is here the Rebbe in this letter is going to say

16:30 that, uh, as he said in the last letter he told us that, uh, we have to be careful not to constantly do a Cheshbon HaNefesh, only every now and then. In this letter, he's going to say exactly when. When is the every now and then? You already know one of them. Elul is a great time for it. There are other times. So he writes, "Betach shama piskim u'mekabesim zeh melekh ha'mer." Certainly, you heard the expression of the Frieder Rebbe that asher k'mei sheh-sheh-sheh b'eseik mu-muchrach ladas. Ma'amru matzav ha'eseik, uh, the same way that when somebody is in business, they have to know what's going on with the business. "Zehu idei Cheshbon," said it, so they have to make an accounting every now and then. "U'v'chol zeh," but nonetheless, "yesh zman mesuyam la'as cheshbonos." There's a time to count up what's going on in the business. There's a time to look at the balance sheets. "Shehavi reiv hem b'seiv hashanah." Generally speaking, that's at the end of the year, the end of the fiscal year, you look at the balance sheets. "V'im ya'aseh cheshbon bechol shá v'shá," if at every moment, instead of running your business, you're constantly checking the balance sheet, "hineh nesiv al biz buzaz man v'kei chasi bavla gam kein leha'eseik." First of all, it's a waste of your time and it's a waste of your energy, and second of all, you're gonna mess up your job entirely. So the Rebbe here is quoting the Frieder Rebbe, a Sicha I'm actually about to

17:27 show you inside in our next, on our next slide. The next thing you see will be the Sicha inside, but the Frieder Rebbe has a Sicha where he says that every business person knows that you can't be constantly making an accounting. On one hand, you can't not make an accounting. You can't run your business for years and never check out-- check in on your balance sheets. At the same time, if every moment when you should be running your business, you're wasting it on counting up the totals as they are rolling in, you're gonna waste your time, you're gonna waste your energy, and you're actually going to damage the business. Similarly, when it comes to Cheshbon HaNefesh, of course, as the Rebbe is going to go on to say, "Ki eseik baruba d'ruba," the reason why this works, "eseik baruba d'ruba tzarich le'asot be harchava u'bitachon," because the way to do a jo-- the way to, uh, do business properly, most business succeeds when it's done in a way of harchava and bitachon. That is, in a way of security and a way of expansiveness. Uh, I think we probably have some businessmen on the call. What the Rebbe, I believe, is referring to based on the Fridei HaKodesh, 'cause I'm not a businessman by any stretch of the imagination, is that, and please do feel free to correct me afterwards if I'm completely wrong about your business model. My understanding from the Fridei HaKodesh and from the-- what the Rebbe is quoting here, is that

18:23 it is difficult to buy and sell and make good deals if you're penny-pinching. Uh, you have to be the kind of person who goes, "I've got a ton of money to spend and I'm gonna invest in something, and I really think it's going to work." So there has to be a certain harchava. There has to be a certain security, where you feel confident when you're investing to not worry about, uh, what you're buying and what you're selling so much price-wise. Because if you're watching every single cent as it comes in, then, uh, then you're not gonna be able to make the sort of bold decisions that do make money. This is how I understand the Sikha. Uh, my understanding of business, as I told you, is zero. But the Sikha seems to be saying that, and I think they understand business. And these-- and a Cheshbon, when you do sit down and look at the business ledgers, that's something that has to happen, but it definitely requires a different kind of mood. The sort of mood you're in when you're making a big, bold investment is not the sort of restricted mood that you are in when you're looking at the balance sheet. Now, whether or not that's true in business, I have no idea. But I can tell you this, it definitely is true when it comes to Torah and mitzvahs. The job of a person, what is our job? I, I love the way the Rebbe says this. Just a great sentence. Says

19:23 that, uh, people think, you know-- they're, they're businessmen. They say, you ask people what industry they're in. So they say they're in a, they say they're in a, I don't know, um, I, I can't even think of an industry. See how well I do business? They say they're in a certain industry. They say they sell shoes, they say they sell clothes. Clothes and shoes are kind of the same genre. I don't know. They say that they're in the, uh, in the, uh, the, uh, the fabrics business. Wow, I'm picking everything with clothes. Can somebody please help me? Parents is on the screen. They're in the, they're in the camera and electronics business. They think that's their eseik. But the true eseik of a person, what's a person's true, uh, um, merchandise? What is the merchandise? What business are we all really in? We're in the business of serving God. And since that's our business, it's going to follow the same rules as business, which is, as we're going to say outside and then read inside, business works well when you operate in a way of harchev and bitachon, where you're not really counting all of the, uh, you know, crossing all your T's and dotting all your I's and counting all your actions up. That's not how you do good business. It's every now and then at the end of the year you have to do it, but normally you have to serve Hashem without looking over your shoulder. So that's what the Rebbe is

20:16 saying here. Knowing this and understanding that we are in the work-- we're in the business of Torah and mitzvahs, our Holy Torah, the Torah of life, gave us specific times for a Cheshbon. And if you look at the times that the Torah assigned us to make a Cheshbon, you'll find that just like in the regular business world, they're at ends of things. The proper time for a Ne-- for a Cheshbon HaNefesh is always at the end of some cycle. For example, at night before you go to bed, you make a Cheshbon on the past day. That's when you make that, that, that's the end of the day. at the end of the year. that's the month of Elul. and certainly during the days of Selichos. So you'll see the Torah seems to schedule the times that we do chavah and the times that we make a Cheshbon HaNefesh specifically for the end of our spiritual fiscal year. "But you're telling me that your shitah does not like that," says the Rebbe to this writer. "You're telling me that in the middle of your Avodas Hashem, you are constantly making a Cheshbon. You do it all the time. You don't do it at the end of the day or at the end of the year. You're doing it all the time." "You're constantly calculating." "You're constantly asking yourself, updating all the time, 'Do I need to add in my chinuch? Do I need to add in my limud? Do I need to add in my, uh,

21:31 in my outreach?'" That sentence out of context, no one would believe it. No one would believe it. Look what the Rebbe is saying, 'cause no one would believe it. The Rebbe is saying here that this attitude that you have, that you are constantly measuring and asking yourself, "Should I be doing more in chinuch, more in learning, more in haspa?" That is not the way we do things. That's the opposite of what our Fride-- of what the Fride could have told us to do. That is to be done at most once a day, at the end of the day. In the middle of your day? Absolutely not. Even at the end of the day, as we'll see in the next letter, uh, one letter over, we're gonna see in a moment that even most people at the end of the day, every day, the Rebbe thinks that's too much. So, but people doing it constantly during the day, we would call this a growth-oriented person. The Rebbe says here, "This is someone who has fallen victim to the Yetzer Hara. The Yetzer Hara has come to them wearing a silk kapota and has declared, 'I think a really good idea would be for you to be such a, uh, such a stickler for the details of your business that we run your business into the ground.'" And I hope the nimshal is understood. Here's the Sikha. I don't know how much of it I actually want to read, but the Sikha is on your screen and

22:27 will be received in your package of information. Here, the Fride could have-- expands upon the idea. He does a big, long mashal. He even has a story in there where he says there's a, that he, that he tells a story of a businessman, a Chassidish businessman who had this sort of way of doing things. And in the end, he says that the that the same exact thing applies to Avodas Hashem, that, uh, there are specific times where a person has to do the calculations of how their Avoda has been going, and specific times where doing that would get in the way of their Avodas Hashem, and it needs to be done with discipline, with discipline. I have one more Hebrew letter to show you, then an English letter, and then we will conclude for today. Our last Hebrew letter is, as promised, it's at the very end of a longer letter. This letter is from, uh, this ba-- it's labeled Bet Tav Tav Kuf Pe He. It's from Chof Ches Tishrei, Tav Shin Tes Vav. It's written to a woman. I know that 'cause of the Bracha V'Shalom. And at the very last paragraph of the letter, he wr-- the Rebbe writes, "Regarding your other question," uh, they were-- they were writing to the Rebbe about bringing a child into their home to educate him. I think from the earlier part of the letter that they didn't have any children. I think that's gonna be clear from here as well. And so they were asking

23:28 about bringing a child into their home, sort of on a-- I don't, I don't know if it's an adoption or if it's a foster situation. There you go. Uh, yeah, right. Uh, the Rebbe says that if you're, if you and your husband are both into it, and if it will increase your trust in God that he will ultimately give you your own biological children, then certainly that's a good idea. "But I believe," says the Rebbe, "by the way, I believe I've written you already about something the Fride could have said." "That even though a person does need to make a Cheshbon HaNefesh," "nonetheless," "it is also obligatory" "that he makes sure he does it at specific times." We saw in our previous letter that this is at end points, at ends of spiritual fiscal years or spiritual fiscal days. The Rebbe here adds a little more, though. "If a person does a Cheshbon HaNefesh too often, they lose more than they gain." The Rebbe says to this individual, "You have done too many. You're, you, you, you're done with Cheshbon HaNefesh," "it's too many. You're doing a Cheshbon HaNefesh every single day." Uh, "Even once a week I think is too much for you," says the Rebbe. So the Rebbe says, "A Cheshbon HaNefesh every day, I don't want you doing. Uh, uh, once a week, I don't want you doing either." Now, this is not a herah d'Raban. This is very clear to this particular woman, but I wanted to give you an example

24:52 of how far the Rebbe will take this. The Rebbe is saying in the earlier letters that he doesn't want a Cheshbon HaNefesh except in the evening. To some individuals, he's saying, "Knowing you and your particular set of personality, you know, know-knowing you and your balance and, uh, how happy you are and how sad you are and how you do your work, I don't want you touching this even once a week. Even once a week might be too much." Uh, "I want you to instead focus your talents," "on doing good things," on having an impact on your environment. And God will pay you back measure for measure. But significantly more than measure per the command of course, that mentions that when it comes to Hashem pays even more than what you put in. So what we've seen so far-- And we have one English letter left. What we've seen so far is that the Rebbe is very enthusiastic about a Cheshbon HaNefesh in the month of Elul, and specifically on the date of Hai Elul and onwards. And the Rebbe is enthusiastic about a Cheshbon HaNefesh that's done with joy. Because if it's done with joy, then it certainly is coming from the good side, and it's not getting in the way of your avoda. But any other kind of Cheshbon HaNefesh where the sadness is part of the avoda or it's off the regular schedule of Elul and Hai Elul, the Rebbe seems, uh, to be nervous about it. Nervous is the right word, I

25:53 think. The Rebbe mentions that sa-a sad Cheshbon HaNefesh can be coming from the yetzer Hara to cause more trouble than it solves, that a constant Cheshbon HaNefesh, uh, gets in the way of your job of getting your business responsibilities done, that if you're constantly checking the, uh, the book to make sure that the finances are the way they are, you can't spend and you can't buy and you can't sell the way you should in your avodas Hashem. The Rebbe told us that he thinks that it should be done, uh, o-only at the ends of tekufos, at the ends of spiritual fiscal years, I'm calling them, at the end of an evening or at the end of a, uh, or at the end of a, uh, at the end of a year. And here we saw one case where the Rebbe tells somebody, "I want you to really limit it and not even do it every day. Maybe not, maybe even not every week." I think that, by the way, as a standard guidance for the average person, as long as it doesn't upset you too much, a Cheshbon HaNefesh by every night I think is appropriate. But if it's, if it's getting you upset, then clearly it's not. I have one more letter to show you. It's in English. I only give you a small piece of it. Uh, this is again from the Rebbe de Response app, which I get more excited about every day. As we've been talking about lately, it's an exciting

26:46 time to be in the Rebbe de Response app. Um, this is from the sixteenth of Shevat, fifty-seven fourteen, and the letter goes: "With regard to the question of introspection..." I'm reading in English right now. "...from the words of our Rebbe. With regard to the question of introspection and self-searching, my father-in-law of saintly memory used to emphasize that one should not indulge in this continually." I'll pause for a minute just to comment. The Rebbe is saying, "Don't indulge." The Friediker Rebbe says, "Don't indulge in Cheshbon HaNefesh." A lot of people are unable to understand this. Really are unable to understand that I could be sad and indulgent. The Rebbe calls that out all the time, that sadness is a kind of indulgence. That is, a person who should be focusing on joy and serving God with joy and serving God with energy sometimes chooses to indulge in sadness. So the Rebbe says here, "A Cheshbon HaNefesh done constantly where I'm constantly looking at my deeds and examining where I failed is a kind of indulgence," the same way that eating a lot of gummy bears is a kind of indulgence, the same way that not eating healthy, and the same way that relaxing when you should be working. Uh, Cheshbon HaNefesh, when it's not appropriate for a Cheshbon HaNefesh, he calls it indulgent. That's the word that he's using. The Rebbe continues: "There are certain times which have been set aside for self-examination and thoughts of self-improvement, such as the month of Elul, the ten days

27:52 of repentance, et cetera. And although every day one has to practice turn away from evil and do good, reviewing the past and the like should not preoccupy one's mind all the time, since that would interfere with and weaken the proper discharge of our religious duties in our daily life." This is a good summary, I think, of everything that we saw today, which is that the Rebbe is absolutely not canceling Cheshbon HaNefesh. We should have a Cheshbon HaNefesh. We should be introspective. We should be evaluating our deeds. However, there's a time and a place for these things. Very much echuo-- echoing the Alter Rebbe in Tanya, but there's a time and a place for these things. The best month for it is Elul. The best time in Elul is Hai Elul and onward, but of course, earlier is better too. The best time of day is right before you go to bed. But at the end of the day, the most important thing is to make sure that whatever Cheshbon HaNefesh we do, because we have to do them, we have to do them, but whatever Cheshbon HaNefesh we do needs to be done with joy. Any kind of a Cheshbon HaNefesh that is either done with sadness or done in the middle of our avoda, or God forbid, I think usually both, right? 'Cause the yetzer Hara is tricky like that, will tell you in the middle of your day, "How about we get you sad?" So any Cheshbon HaNefesh that gets you sad and

28:48 that interrupts your avoda and is too regular is going to cause more harm than it does, uh, than it does help. And not only that, it is bad business advice. Anybody who knows business, according to the Friediker Rebbe and the Rebbe, and I do trust them, anybody who knows business will tell you that a good business person does not count their coins constantly during the day. They're too busy working. And so the Rebbe following very much with his that he's taught us so well, the idea that the most important thing is the action and that the best way to serve God is by throwing ourselves with and with into our avoda, that same Rebbe is saying, "Yeah, Cheshbon HaNefesh is part of the avoda, but only if it doesn't get in the way of the prime directive." The main thing the Rebbe wants us to do is do the job, and Cheshbon HaNefesh is a very important part of the job when scheduled properly during the day in a way that doesn't get in the way of our main job. All right, that's it.