איך עורכים חשבון נפש? (חלק 1)

00:02 Speaker 1 Okay, this is Icarus, and we're looking at a letter from exactly fifty years ago, give or take a day. It is from Chai Elul of Taf Shin Lamed Gimmel. This is the Rebbe's long letter on Chai Elul. He has a long one and a shorter one, I think maybe tomorrow or the day after. We're gonna look at the shorter of the two from this year. This one goes on for a solid, I have on my screen, six pages. It's a very long letter. It's, uh, it's one of the general letters written to the entire Jewish people, and it's supposed to put people in the right frame of mind for Elul, for Rosh Hashana, for Chai Elul, and there's a lot we can squeeze out of it. I am going to cheat and squeeze only the first line out of it. That's what I'm gonna do, is we're gonna look at the first line, and we're going to launch into a discussion of something a bit larger. Then maybe tomorrow we'll actually do the letter, and then maybe the day after that we'll do the rest of Chai Elul. This is me making a plan. You know what happens when I make plans. Um, I should just cut the front of the podcast off completely because there's no way that that's what actually happens, but that's what I have in my head. In any event, we have here a letter from Taf Shin Lamed Gimmel. The Rebbe writes, "El b'nei b'nei Yisrael asher b'chol makom u'makom,"

01:00 Speaker 1 To all Jewish people in all places, "Hashem lemyechi shalom u-bracha." And then he writes, "B'tkufas ha'hanat Rosh Hashana," as a way in the, in the period of preparing for Rosh Hashana. You know what we'll do is just in honor of the letter, we'll read this first section, then I'll tell you what I want out of it. "B'tkufas ha'hanat Rosh Hashana," this is a time of preparation for Rosh Hashana. That's what Elul is. "Hayom ben yevor adam harishon," the day of Rosh Hashana is not the day the world was created, it was the day that Adam Harishon was born. The world was created five days earlier, or five, six, depending on whether you're counting the day. Chof Bei Elul was the day the world was created, the twen-the twenty-fifth of Elul. So Rosh Hashana is not the birthday of the world, it's the birthday of Adam. "Ka shepatach kol b'ria nigmara v'ushlema," this is the time when the entire creation was completely finished. "Hayom shehutchilas v'raish shana," this is the day that is the first and the head of the year. "Davar shemashma alav sheyom zen melamed b'nei s'nehedrah derech uchiv l'chol yemei hashanah," this is the day that is the head and is the first of the year, and that implies that it will also be the thing that gives a direction and a course for the entire year. This is the thing that is in a, a lot of days in Chabad, it's the thing that terrifies me about our philosophy, as a matter

02:01 Speaker 1 of fact. It is my favorite and least favorite part of the way that we view the world, which is that there's all these Yom Klalies, and a Yom Klalie is that there are certain days where that is, uh, that day becomes the instructor, the guide for the entire year. So Rosh Hashana is the day that is the guide for the entire year. We have other days like it. We have your birthday, which is also the guide for your avodah in the entire year. We have things like, um, Simchas Torah or Purim, which are days which, uh, which are, uh, dinim for the Simcha of the entire year. There are certain days in the calendar where if you nail it, you're gonna have a great year in that aspect, and if not, you're gonna have to do a lot of work uphill. So Rosh Hashana is the biggest of all of them. Rosh Hashana is the day that includes the decision, the direction for the entire year. That's why it's called the head of the year, where the head goes, the body goes. That's a reference to Ateret Rosh, how it begins, how the Mitne Rebbe's work, Ateret Rosh, begins at the beginning. "V'etzeni li'akiv kan," therefore, the Rebbe says, "I would like to spend some time on this point." "Al echad v'hora'ah," on one single teaching. "Zeh hamakom sheadam k'keseh kol habriah," and that is the unique place that a person holds, that humanity holds in creation. Humanity is the crown of the entire Bria.

03:02 Speaker 1 You make a king, then you put a crown on his head. We're the thing that was made last, but probably the-- not probably, but definitely the most important part. "Kim'yesh v'tali shleimus habria kulah," we're the ones upon which hangs the completeness of the entire creation. "K'mo shekol il," as is ex-- as has been mentioned earlier. So that's how the Rebbe opens this letter, by talking about how Rosh Hashana is the direction for the entire year, the tr-- the, the, the setting of the trends for the entire year, and how humanity is the-- we're celebrating the birth of people. And that is because the world isn't the most important thing, people are the most important thing. The entire Bria hangs on what people do. And the Rebbe's gonna go on in this letter to talk about the importance of our actions in affecting the world around us. Not for today. The Rebbe has footnotes on his own letter. Look at this first footnote down here at the bottom. I can't highlight it because it's a PDF, but there's a footnote here at the very bottom. I'll zoom in so you don't have to squint. "Chai Elul." So the Rebbe, uh, the Rebbe take-- makes a footnote on his date. The date is Chai Elul. He's writing a Rosh Hashana letter on Chai Elul. Why write a Rosh Hashana letter on Chai Elul? It's gonna be all about Rosh Hashana. "Chai Elul," the Rebbe says, "Yom hasayach b'frat." This is a day that is specifically about cheshbon

04:02 Speaker 1 nefesh. A day that "shayach b'frat l'cheshbon nefesh b'negel chedes Tishrei avar." This is a day that has to do with a cheshbon nefesh about what you did in last Tishrei. This is the Rebbe's note on Chai Elul. Now, I will just start off by saying, I went to a Chai Elul farbrengen and I was, I was part of it. So if this wasn't mentioned there, this is partially my fault. But I've been at Chai Elul farbrengens for years now, um, and maybe I just go to the wrong ones. I don't know. But this does not seem to be the main discussion point of a lot of Chai Elul farbrengens. Uh, people talk about the Baal Shem Tov, people talk about the Alter Rebbe. People talk about, uh, the fact that this is the day of the Chayas of Elul. But you don't hear a lot of farbrengens, at least that I've been to, where the point, point of Chai Elul is to stress that this is the time for cheshbon nefesh for the past Tishrei. This isn't something brought up a lot often. However, when the Rebbe sees the word Chai Elul, what does he think of? "Yom hasayach b'frat." This is a day that is specifically shayach to a cheshbon nefesh about last Tishrei, how well last Tishrei went. So maybe this is exactly the time to talk about Rosh Hashana, right? Because if the day of Chai Elul is when a person begins their cheshbon on the previous Tishrei, that would be the

05:00 Speaker 1 day that a person is thinking about the previous Rosh Hashana and how they can make the next Rosh Hashana better. So if there was ever a day to talk about nailing Rosh Hashana, I guess it would be Chai Elul. I wanna elaborate upon what the Rebbe is saying here, because those who know, know, and those who don't know have no idea what I'm talking about. There's a sicha from the Friediker Rebbe. The Rebbe references in the, uh, in a sicha from before the Nesius, Taf Shin Yud. This is Taf Shin Yud, near the beginning. Uh, it doesn't say here the date, and I don't wanna flip through to find it. But near the beginning of Taf Shin Yud. This is right after the passing of the Friediker Rebbe And the Rebbe says this, . When it comes to the days between the eighteenth of Elul and onward until Rosh Hashanah, that's the time of of course Elul. All of the this is important. If we're preparing for Agili the preparation necessary is going to match what I want to accomplish. If I want to accomplish incredible things on Rosh Hashanah, I'm going to need to have I'm going to have to have and a broken heart over the twelve days that go from Hay Elul until Rosh Hashanah. That is that there are exactly twelve days from Hay Elul until Rosh Hashanah, and each of those days corresponds to one day of the prior year. The first night of Rosh Hashanah is really when starts,

06:26 Speaker 1 which is interesting because we normally think of Elul as being is the time of Elul. That's the The Rebbe says no. The real Gili of doesn't start until Rosh Hashanah and comes after preparation. For those twelve days, there needs to be a a calculation about our deeds, about our state of our soul, and about what we can be doing in this world. For the past twelve months, one day for one month, Therefore Hay Elul, which is twelve days before Rosh Hashanah, That's the day when I think about last Tishrei, think about how it could have been better and how this one can be better. And then on Erev Rosh Hashanah, which is the twelfth day since Hay Elul, that's the day when we do a Cheshbon on the month of Elul that we are currently in. This is the final, I don't know, the, uh, the sealing, the cap. On top of the this is how we accept That's how we get our for the coming new year. So what is today? Today is, today is Kaf Elul, is it? Yeah? Can somebody nod or tell me I'm wrong? What is today? Don't make me look it up. It's Kaf Elul, I think. Okay. There we go. Hershey says it's Kaf Elul. Cerelia agrees. That's two, that's two, two people. Uh, and with me, two, we make a bezdin. That's, uh, so it's probably Kaf Elul, may-maybe Kaf Elul. So that means that today is the day that we're supposed to be doing a Cheshbon

07:45 Speaker 1 Nefesh on Tishrei, Cheshvan, Kislev, right? Today is the day of the Cheshbon Nefesh on Kislev. So today is where we think about how we messed up Hanukkah and how next Hanukkah could be better, how your test Kislev maybe wasn't perfect and how it could be better. This is, uh, this is the day that we calculate our last, our last Kislev. Okay. So for the Rebbe, the main theme of Hay Elul and the main theme of every day from now until Tishrei is going to be a Cheshbon Nefesh. Hay Elul for Tishrei, uh, for the past Tishrei, uh, you'd test Elul for the past Cheshvan. You missed it, but you can still catch up. A Cheshvan and Cheshvan. Ha-ha. And then there's Kislev. Okay, that's today. So starting today, you can start working on Kislev. The point is that if you were to ask the Rebbe, "What is Hay Elul a marker for?" I don't know if he would say the birthday of the Baal Shem Tov and the Alter Rebbe. I think the Rebbe would probably say it's the marker of the time when we start preparing for our twelve-day countdown to Rosh Hashanah, where we're working on a Cheshbon Nefesh for every month that passed. Uh, that's all good to talk about. How exactly is a Cheshbon Nefesh accomplished? When do we do it? How do we do it? What is it? That's what I would like to spend the rest of our time talking about today. I wanna do the Rebbe's shit on

08:43 Speaker 1 Cheshbon Nefesh, how it works, how it works for different people. And for that, I wanna take you all the way back to the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. Remember we had a shiur on the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch once. Do you remember that? Long time ago. We did Negel Shiur just on how often the Rebbe references or tells people to learn Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. I can't seem to move this page over. Okay. This is in Kitzur Shulchan Aruch. It's in Siman seventy-one, Sif three. The reason why I'm quoting the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch and not the regular one is 'cause you won't find this in the regular Shulchan Aruch. However, he is quoting a Shlah. He's quoting a Shlah. It is appropriate for everybody who fears heaven, before they go to sleep, he should think about all the things that he did during that day. You should have a Cheshbon Nefesh. This is-- Remember, in the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, Chabad did not invent the Cheshbon Nefesh by the Shlah did, more or less. If he finds while he's thinking before going to bed that he did an Aveira, he should regret it. he should do Viddui, he should confess. and then accept upon himself with a complete heart. So let's just say that he's not gonna do it again. Quick pause for the Halachas in the room. That's Teshuva. You noticed all the steps? He had that's the Rambam Teshuva. That's also the Alter Rebbe Teshuva. Basically, do Teshuva on any Aveiras you did during the day. Don't let

09:53 Speaker 1 them get ahead. You know, we always let this get out of control. We get to Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Selichos go, "Oh, I have quite a list. I don't even remember all of them." We literally say in Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur davening many times that I don't remember in Selichos as well, that I can't list all of the, uh, Aveiras that I've done. We could. We could just take care of them that night, and then we wouldn't have to worry about all the ones we've forgotten about. he says, particularly the- There we go. Um, that's a, that's a real shame because, you know, we could be handling this every night, and then I wouldn't have forgotten about it. I was actually thinking about the Lashon from, um, from HaTaras Nedarim. There's a Lashon in HaTaras Nedarim where we say that, uh, what is it? Yeah.

10:34 Speaker 2 Or

10:35 Speaker 1 Right. So we really could keep track of these things if we just would be on top of it every single day. At night, think about what you did wrong. We don't do that many Aveiras every day. I mean, there just aren't that-- There just aren't enough hours to do that many Aveiras every day. We do keep it under control. Um, so we could handle it, and that's how he wants us to do it. That's how the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, the Shlah, is saying to do things. Specifically, when you're trying to think, "Did I do any Aveiras today? Well, I didn't murder anybody, so I can go to bed." He goes, "No, why don't you start by focusing on Aveiras and Mitziyos? Focus on common Aveiras." And here's his common Aveiras. That is false flattery, when you flatter someone. That is excessive silliness, but I like translating more like the, uh, more like the Mitler Rebbe, which is that it's an excessive silliness that also derails people's growth because being silly is not such a bad thing. It's good to have a good sense of humor. But if your joke makes people not wanna grow, then that's . So is a kind of humor that makes people not wanna grow. that's obviously a common one, es-es-especially that guy over there. You know him. He's always doing Lashon Hara. It's a good joke. These are things that you need to check out very, very carefully A person should also forgive anybody who sinned against them. This is

11:38 Speaker 1 actually in our . They know one should be punished on his behalf. Why do I care about those people? They cut me off in traffic. Let them burn. 'cause it says in the Gemara, . It says in the Gemara that anybody who some-- any, anybody who somebody else gets punished on their behalf. That's weird grammar. How do I say it? If anybody gets punished because they hurt me, I don't get to visit God. I get in trouble if other people get punished for hurting me. So even I should be concerned about other people being punished for my misdeeds, because if they get be-- I'm sorry, for their misdeeds against me. Someone cuts me off in traffic and God punishes them, I also get in trouble, so I should forgive him so that guy won't get punished. I should say three times. I forgive. I matter anybody who caused me pain, I should say three times. We don't say this, but feel free to start. And then we say the thing that we do have in our We say, "Master of the universe, I forgive everybody who damaged me." Anyway, what we get from this section in as it's established, it's normative Halakha. It's in a Halakha safer, at the very least, it's a quoting from the Shlah, that every night before we go to get bed, we're supposed to, uh, we're supposed to do a Cheshbon Nefesh. Now, the Rebbe is telling us that there's also a bigger Cheshbon Nefesh, not one that's done every

12:45 Speaker 1 night, but one that is done only in these twelve days on each of the months that went by. This comes in large part from the Frieda Rebbe. There's here, I have a letter from the Frieda Rebbe, volume four, page one twenty-seven. You'll recognize part of it 'cause it's part of it, part of it, a piece of it's in of Six Kislev, but you're missing a lot of the depth. So let's look at the whole letter 'cause the letter is a lot of fun, and the letter is also in Yiddish, so, you know, hold on tight, guys. We can do this. Right now standing in the month of Elul. Thank you very much. You knew I didn't know what it was, and I was just gonna skip right over it. Thank God for Suralli. How do you know so many things? I don't know what to tell you. The abbreviations. I was gon-- Okay, um, I was gonna go with Talmud Learner. Okay, he's saying this is a time of rachamim, a time of mercy, time of teshuva, it's inspiration, it's a time of coming close, and it's, um, it's These are the times where we're getting close to the days of service of God, especially for all the rabbis. everybody in their own place. from the, uh, from the many br-- Good. Suralli, good luck with these. With the-- This is basically the-- it's the Rebbe Rashab. There we go. Suralli did it. The Rebbe Rashab with a lot of honorifics that could not be

14:18 Speaker 1 enough for him, but a lot of honorifics from the year Taf Resh, Te- Taf Resh Samech Tes said the following: "That every single kind of person has a different Every single person, has a different kind of There's a that is a, is a hisbonenus for the entire, um, in the This is a-- this is for everything you did during the entire day. It's a hisbonenus, a deep thought about everything that happened, everything you did during the entire day. The good things, the the not so good things, and also the the quite bad things. Are, are you happy with being a quite bad translation? The wild things, the, um, the not so good things, the very bad things. So first of all, is that I do a Cheshbon Tzedek. My Cheshbon is on the good things, the bad things, and the very bad things. Every single person has their own and, uh, the is not at all like for a baal teshuva, is not at all like the one that you will have for the There's different whether you are somebody who has a job or whether you're somebody who learns Torah all day. When it comes to people who learn Torah all day, the and those are people involved in Kaddish all day, they have several different, uh, categories, even within those people who are focused on Kaddish all the time. You can't compare the that you'll find by a shul shammash to the that you'll find by the town shekhit. You can't compare the

15:44 Speaker 1 that you'll find by a melamed to the that you'll find by a by the, by a, by a, by a, uh, by a community rav or paskins. Oh, there's a You know, I'm gonna get you by by on Shabbos. It's on. It's on. is a, uh, is a This is the part that's from the, uh... Recognize this one from ? It's from the vidui that you have before the neshamah, before a person dies. That is is like a little version of the final confession and the final calculation that a person makes before they finally die. The difference is that, uh, when, uh, when a person makes a before they die, they're about to leave the fairgrounds entirely. They're gonna leave the y arid. They're gonna leave the, uh, the fair entirely. They're not doing any more business. And then that's the end of the That's the end of the business that they will be transacting in this world. So it's a final calculation before they close shop for good. When it comes to that we have every single night, we're still in the middle of the fair, and the following morning, we can still do things differently. So, uh, there still remains the, uh, there still remains time to do more business. There's still more things that we can Still more things that we can do. So the Frieda Rebbe here, when he describes what do we get out of this? We get that specifically in the time of Elul, he tells people it's important

17:00 Speaker 1 to focus on there. He says that the is not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing. Is that there's a different for different kinds of people, depending on who they are exactly. There is a, uh, a sicha over here where the Frieda Rebbe expands upon this. I just don't know if we have time. It's such a long one. But he says exactly what the Cheshbon Tzedek should look like for a business person versus the one of a regular person. Let's read some of it, at least, and if we don't get to the other stuff today, we'll do more of it tomorrow. So the Frieda Rebbe says here, "One of the general..." This is a sicha from the Frieda Rebbe from Taf Shin Gimel There's one of the one of the main things when it comes to Cheshbon Nefesh in these twelve days between Hai Elul and Rosh Hashanah is, we have to have hispananus about the things we were worried about last year and how they got in our way. You see that? We have to have part of our Cheshbon Nefesh is, that we have to think about what kind of damage being worried about things did to our possibility of Avodah. Because I was worried about my parnassa, in excessive. Because of excessive dagas haparnasa, I didn't set aside time for Torah study, or I wasn't careful about tefillah betzivur, I wasn't careful about coming to shul. I said, "Hey, I gotta get to work. I can't be-- Or I gotta work late. I can't

18:22 Speaker 1 be scheduling Torah sessions. I can't be davening with the tzivur." That's part of the Cheshbon Nefesh of a baal eseck. He asked about eseck, Cheshbon said, Everybody, everybody who has a job should make the following Cheshbon in the month of Elul in these twelve days. What exactly would I have lost? He wants you to sit down with your accounting books and make actual math. This is for real. This is not a, a spiritual accounting. This is a physical accounting. How much would I have lost this year if I had made a time every day to study Torah, and I had made time every day to daven with the minyan? And show me how much more you gained by not doing that. You're gonna find that it's not going to be a difference. You're gonna find if you sit down right now at this point in the year and say, "If I'd set aside a certain amount of time for studying Torah every day, and if I'd been careful to daven with the tzivur, then I wouldn't have lost anything." And that's something we have to prove to ourselves every year with numbers. The wants us to write down how much exactly we would have lost. We're gonna find that it was nothing. Everybody knows that the amount of money they're gonna make is set aside in Rosh Hashanah. It's written and it is sealed. How much you'll make, how much you'll lose How much a person's gonna lose and how much they're gonna gain. And

19:38 Speaker 1 everybody knows that no matter how hard you work, you can't make a dime more than what was set aside for you on Rosh Hashanah. Uh, he goes on-- goes on this theme a little bit longer. Uh, we can look at it together maybe a little bit more tomorrow. But the most important thing here is this part up top, which is that we said a second ago, there's a different Cheshbon Nefesh for a baal eseck than there is for someone who learns Torah all day. This is the difference, is that someone who learns Torah all day, he's gonna say near the end, has a different kind of Cheshbon Nefesh on what they could have done better in their learning and whether their Avodah was done properly. But a baal eseck's Cheshbon, Cheshbon Nefesh is that I convince myself through the numbers that had I added in Torah and mitzvahs, had I added in tefillah betzivur, had I added in hafatsah, had I added in the things that really matter, I convince myself that it wouldn't have made a difference to my bottom line, and this encourages me next year not to let those things get in the way. The last thing that I wanna look at today, 'cause we have only a little bit of time left, is something from the Rebbe. It's Igris volume eleven, page ninety-eight. And here the Rebbe explains that, uh, Cheshbon Nefesh is not for everybody. I don't wanna say that, though. It's not that it's not for everybody, it's that

20:38 Speaker 1 some people do it wrong. There's a way to do it wrong that will destroy your life, that will make your life less productive. And I wanna mention it, but I wanna mention with a caveat. If you talk about Cheshbon Nefesh at a farbrengen around Chassidim, a lot of them will, uh, will first of all call it a Der Shushi kind of way of thinking. It's the old way. We don't do this anymore. This is an old-fashioned thing. This is painful. It causes people to be depressed. The Rebbe all over the place, especially in our year, but in all the years, every year, talks about the importance of Cheshbon Nefesh, especially every night by Kirsh Mal Shalomi Tza, during these twelve days. This is not something that fell out of favor in Chabad. This is something we absolutely still do. However, the Rebbe is concerned that some people may do it in a way that depresses them. So in this final letter we're gonna look at today, he puts some rules on it, some rules to make sure that it doesn't lead to depression, Chas ve'Shalom, or to the opposite of what we're trying to gain. The Rebbe writes in this letter, again, this is-- Did I say what volume? It's volume eleven, page ninety-eight. The Frieda Rebbe says, says the Rebbe, that the Frieda Rebbe says, Just like when it comes to a job, you gotta know where your job is holding you. You've got to occasionally, when you're doing business, check the books. This

21:37 Speaker 1 comes by making a reasonable, a, a just accounting of exactly what's going on with your business. Nonetheless, there is a special time, there's a specific time to make those sorts of business calculations. Generally speaking, at the end of the year, at the end of the fiscal year, they sit down with the books and they figure out what they made and what they lost. But if at every moment you're constantly making a calculation of how your business, business is going, this won't just waste your time and your energy, this also is gonna get in the way of the job being done. When you're doing business, it has to be mostly done in an expansive way and with a faith-based way, with a trust-based way. And the idea of Cheshbon is It's the opposite movement. It's a kind of a restrictiveness, a kind of, um, drilling down into the points. I think what this means in a business setting in general, though clearly I don't know much about investing and about business, business. I'm in business, but not like money business. But as far as I understand it, if a person is constantly worried about whether they're going to, uh-- about how much they have incoming and how much they have outgoing, they probably don't invest quite as well. I assume that if you wanna make big investments, there needs to be sort of aachavah to this deal, that and then, then later on, I look at the numbers and say, "Ah, maybe that wasn't such a

22:49 Speaker 1 wise choice given what I have and what I'm putting in and what I'm taking out." But there needs to be a certain, uh, a certain blind faith when it comes to business. Not blind, but a, a bigger way of acting, aachav. The Rebbe says, "However that mashal works, at least I know the nimshal works." When it comes to our main job is to serve Hashem. Therefore, the Torah set aside special times for us to make the Cheshbon. Just like a fiscal year when it's time to do the books, there are times that the Torah tells us to make a Cheshbon about how our job is going in this world. When will you find a Cheshbon Nefesh in the tradition when it's done properly? It's not every hour. It's not randomly when the mood seizes you. It's usually at the end of a tkupa. It's at the end of some season, some cycle. For example, the Kirsh Mal that we say before we go to bed, that's for the prior day 'cause that day is over. At the end of the year, we do That is specifically the time that we're in right now is the time for Cheshbon Nefesh on the previous year. But he says from this writer, this person wrote to the Rebbe about their Cheshbon Nefesh and how it's, uh, taking over his life. The Rebbe writes, "From what you told me, it's understood." I'm sorry, "From what I said, it's understood." It sounds like this person is constantly making a Cheshbon

24:07 Speaker 1 Nefesh on things that happened many years ago, and he will like every day think about things that happened years and years ago, and he'll do this day after day after day. He's constantly asking himself, "Should I have done chinuch differently? Should I have learned differently? Should I have had shabbos differently?" The Rebbe says no. That is the opposite of the A constant, um, a constant, uh, concern and a constant, uh... What am I looking for? I'm looking for a different word. Being obsessed. Being obsessed with the past and how things could have gone differently and making a Cheshbon whenever I feel like it constantly in each tkupa, this is the opposite of the However, it is very much our Rebbe's very much the that we do make Cheshbon Nefesh. We do it every night by Kirsh Mal on the day that passed, and these twelve days, we focus on it significantly for, uh, for the past year, one day per one month. And, uh, that's it for now. We might do more Cheshbon Nefesh, Nefesh later, but this is, uh, this is I think a good introduction to what these next twelve or I guess now ten days should be about. Thank you.