איך בוחרים משפיע?

00:01 This is Igress, and we are looking at letters from exactly fifty years ago. It is almost Rosh Chodesh Elul. It's one day before Rosh Chodesh Elul, Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul, so we are still going back in time as promised through some of the letters that we missed. I can't believe we missed this letter. This is one of the coolest letters in the entire volume, so I'm so glad we're gonna get a chance to do it before we finish off the year. I, I just wanna give a quick introduction. In the past few shiurim, we've been touching on Aseleh HaRav repeatedly. I assume that's Bashkal Chapatis because, uh, I haven't set out to touch on this topic, but we keep on talking about it. Uh, there was maybe nothing more important to the Rebbe than this particular initiative. It was started in, uh, it started in Taf Shin Lamed Zayin, culminated in a very serious push in Taf Shin Mem Zayin. That's when you really start hearing about it. The Rebbe wants every single Jew, this includes men, women, and small children, and women too, by the way, to have a Rav or a Mashpia that they're comfortable speaking with about practical Avodah Hashem. This is something that matters to the Rebbe more than just about anything. At one farbrengen, the Rebbe caused-- called it a Bekasha Nafshis, and then he said, "I want to say something stronger than that, but I don't have the words for it." He ultimately found the words for it, and

01:03 we call it a Bekasha Atzmus, one of the only two, as far as I know, Bekasha Atzmus of the Rebbe, the people that everybody have somebody that they're comfortable talking to about practical service of Hashem. After yesterday's shiur, we again spoke about the importance of having a Mashpia, and I think the way that we put it in one of our, uh, one of our text conversations afterwards was that someone who doesn't have a Mashpia is operating-- How do we put it? O-operating at a, operating at a fraction of their capacity and flying blind. So that's putting it gently. Everybody absolutely needs somebody they can speak to. The question is, how do you pick one? Uh, what qualities are we looking for in a Mashpia? And that's what we're going to talk about today. We have a letter that's somewhat about this, that touches on the topic and a couple of sichas that do too. So the letter that we have today is letter Yud Tav Kuf Tadik Beis. This is from Chaf Heh Cheshvan of Taf Shin Lamed Gimel, fifty years ago, and it's written to Mrs. Tamar Somogi, Somogi. I looked her up, I couldn't find her online. Uh, don't know who she is, but in any event, Bracha VeShalom. The Rebbe greets her. It took a long time, but I finally got your letter. She was doing research into the Chabad movement, so she's doing some sort of, I don't know, book documentary. She's doing research into Chabad. So you've already gotten in

02:13 touch with, uh, excuse me, with members of Chabad and all-- who are living in Kfar Chabad, and you're asking for my opinion, I guess, on the entire project on her research. She's asking for the Rebbe's opinion on her research into the Chabad movement. Excuse me. My voice will not be cooperating today. You can guess what the Rebbe's gonna do with this, right? You can't ask the Rebbe for an opinion without getting an Avoda. This is the way the Rebbe works, is if you come to the Rebbe, you're gonna get a job. So she asked for the Rebbe's opinion. She's about to get an assignment. Based on the way that you're writing, you certainly know the that they say in the that the most important thing is action. Based on the way you write, the Rebbe says to this woman, "I can tell you know enough to know that all we care about at the end of the day or the thing we care about most at the end of the day is practical action." This fundamental fact that we care most about action also should be the litmus test. I'm translating as m-litmus test. when it comes to your investigation. If you're trying to figure out whether there's going to be a positive outcome and practical outcome from your research project . So basically, if this is going to have-- if your research is going to have a practical outcome, a positive practical outcome, then it is certainly in the spirit of Chabad that the

03:28 research be conducted. So the Rebbe does give his opinion. I think it's a good project if it has a practical outcome. Now the Rebbe transitions. Certainly, you know that there are two seemingly conflicting teachings when it comes to a Mashpia and a Mushba's relationship. It appears that these two things are gonna contradict each other, . Nonetheless, both are brought practically. The first one is and if not, not. So the first one is says that if a rabbi is as good as an angel, accept Torah from him, and if not, not. You have to demand your rabbi be as good as a malach. If he's not as good as an angel, he's not the Rav for you. There's a second saying, that you should always accept the truth from someone who says it, regardless of what kind of a person they are. And the Rebbe says, these two ideas are contradictory. Nonetheless, they're both, both brought Halacha Lema'aseh so we have to do both somehow. That is, we should only pick a Rav who is similar to a malach, and at the same time, we should be willing to hear the truth from anybody. The Rebbe does not answer the Stira. He says, "Whatever the answer to this contradiction is, it is." The point is the fact that there's even a question about it, though, that shows that at the very least, a rabbi needs to be an example of the kind of Torah that he's teaching. And when he does that, when a Rav is

04:48 an, is a living example, when a teacher is a living example, they're going to have a greater effect when it comes to their rulings and when it comes to their, uh, success in their rulings. So why is the Rebbe telling her this? You would think he's telling her how to pick a Rav. He's not. My, uh, my intent is simple. And I would really rather put it as my hope, not as my intention. He's making her a Mashpia. He's making her a Rav. He's saying, "My hope is that my, my, my intent, and more properly my hope, is that in your personal life you will be a prop-- you will be a living example for what it looks like to live according to Toras Chabad. You're researching Chabad academically. That means you're going to learn what Chabad stands for, and therefore, I ex-- I expect you to live that way so that you will end up being a living example of what a good Chabad person is." You might ask, "What does my research have to do with living a-- as an example of Chabad ?" The Rebbe says, "Didn't I just tell you that theoretical work only makes sense if it comes into a practical action? So sure, do your research, but I expect it to affect you, and the practical outcome I'm hoping for is that when you do your research into Chabad that is academic, you will become somebody who knows enough about Toras Chabad that you can be a living example

06:02 of what it is to live a good kosher Torah Chabad lifestyle." So the Rebbe wants her to become a Mashpia as a result of her work researching Chabad academically. the Rebbe's name and Masger. So just without getting into the part that we're gonna be focusing on today- You should reflect when reading this letter on just how the Rebbe spins things. A academic researcher writes to the Rebbe asking for basically an interview, right? For his opinion on her academic project, and the Rebbe's response is, "I hereby make you a mashpia. I expect you to study our stuff and become an influence on your entire community." This is a classic that, uh, that when you write to the Rebbe asking for something, you can expect to get an assignment back. The part I wanna focus on, though, excuse me, is this part in the middle, where the Rebbe says that while it's true that these two are , while it's true that these are opposites that contradict, at the same time, there is a rule that when you're picking a Rav, when you're picking a mashpia, they're supposed to be as good as a malach, and that would seem to be quite a high bar. Everybody's supposed to have a mashpia, as we talked about at the beginning. Uh, there aren't all that many malachim out there. There are a couple tzadikim. Uh, God saw tzadikim, that they were few, and he spread them throughout the generations, right? It's in Tanya, also in the Gemara. We don't

07:06 have that many malachim. So what does it mean that a mashpia should be like a malach? Wanna go back to the Gemara for a second. The Gemara Maseches Chagigah on tes vav beis says the following. It's on the sheet in front of you. It's on your screen. Rebbe Meir, how did Rebbe Meir learn from Acher? Acher was Rebbe Meir's teacher. He was a heretic, and Rebbe Meir learned Torah from him. He walked next to his horse on Shabbos. Rebbe Meir walked, and Acher was riding on Shabbos, and he learned Torah from him. How did he learn from Acher? Doesn't Rebbe Yehonasan say based on a verse that if a Rav is like a malach Hashem, if a Rav is like an angel of God, then you should ask for Torah from his mouth, and if not, don't ask for Torah from his mouth. Don't learn from a Rav unless he's as good as an angel. Rebbe Meir says that Rebbe Meir found a pasuk that he was able to darshan out to get his answer. There's a whole pasuk back and forth that I cut out just for time, and the bottom line of the Gemara is that Rebbe Meir's conclusion was , that when it comes to a small child, a small child needs to learn from somebody who has, uh, who has, uh, positive character traits. But an adult, an adult's able to take what matters and throw away the trash. So an adult basically can have a Rav who's not such a

08:24 great guy, but a child needs to have a Rav who's a great guy. This does cut to an idea that we have, um, all over the Rebbe's writings and also mu-much, much more in the, in the Rebbe Rashab and in the Friediker Rebbe, 'cause this was a very pressing issue then, that a melamed needs to be a yirashamayim. We cannot accept a melamed of small children who is not somebody who fears Heaven. Whereas when it comes to an adult Rav, maybe the adult congregation can understand that the Rav isn't perfect. A child needs a teacher who is effectively perfect. So we need a melamed to be like an angel. That's for sure. Even according to Rebbe Meir, as a small child, you can only learn from a malach Hashem, from an angel. But when it comes to adults, it sounds like Rebbe Meir was okay with adults learning from people who weren't so good. But take a look in Rambam four one. Rambam does not bring that. He says that a Rav that's not going in a derech teva, Rav's not going in a good way, even though he's a hakham gadol, even if he's a great hakham and the entire nation needs him, the entire nation, so he's essential for the Jewish people, you can't learn Torah from him until he does teshuvah and comes back to being a good person. Quotes the same pasuk that we quoted above in the name of, in the name of Rebbe Yehonasan. He needs to be like

09:27 an angel, and the Rambam does not bring this distinction that Rebbe Meir has where that depends on whether it's a, a, an adult or a small child. Seems like Rambam thinks nobody is allowed to learn from a Rav who's not behaving properly until that Rav does teshuvah. Again, excuse me, my throat. There's a last Mishna that asks the question that I ha-- that I left hanging here. The, uh, the last Mishna says, "It sounds like Rambam does not accept this distinction between an adult and a child," and says, "Nobody is allowed to learn from somebody like that." The last Mishna's answer is, the last Mishna raises the possibility that nowadays we're all children, that we don't know how to figure things out, but he doesn't accept that. He doesn't say that's the answer. The last Mishna's answer is that Rambam does not hold like this opinion, says this is Rebbe Meir's opinion, and this is what Rebbe Meir used to justify learning with Acher, but we don't pasken like that. He says, that's the lesson in the last Mishna, that we hold, uh, that we hold nobody is allowed to learn from a rabbi who's not like a malach. So that would seem to be a pretty considerable problem. The Rebbe uses this actually to solve a, a fun question in Pirkei Avos. Just running this by you real quick, even though we don't really have time for it. I just can't resist. It's in Igris volume two, page forty-eight. In Igris volume two, page

10:32 forty-eight, the Rebbe says, "Why was Dovid HaMelech so insistent that things be said in the name of their teachers?" We learn this idea in Pirkei Avos. They have to say, . They have to always quote the person who you learned from, from Dovid HaMelech, um, or from around-- Dovid HaMelech was a, was, was-- There, there are several people. Rav Sheshet teaches that Dovid HaMelech is one of the people who really pushes this idea. They have to . They have to say things in the name of the person that you learned it from. The Rebbe says, "Dovid was obsessed with this idea because he wanted people to say teachings in his name when they learned them from him." Why did Dovid care so much that people quote him? Because since we have a rule that you're not allowed to learn from somebody who's not as good as a malach, nobody would be allowed to quote Dovid if Dovid wasn't as good as a malach. And Dovid, in his own mind at least, had done averas and later on done teshuvah. He wanted proof that it sh-- that his teshuvah had ... I'm never gonna get through sentences. Let me try to drink a little. Dovid HaMelech wanted proof that his teshuvah had been accepted. The only proof that Dovid HaMelech's teshuvah had been accepted would be that people were able to say Torah in his name. So the reason why Dovid was so insistent that people quote him, that the people quote him in his name,

11:35 was to demonstrate that he was a malach again, which demonstrated that he'd really done teshuvah. Just an interesting side point. Okay. We have in Toras Menachem volume thirty-three, page three ninety-five, our first hint at what it looks like to find ourselves a mashpia who is similar to a malach, and it's not a terribly high bar. Because if the bar is that it's a tzadik who never does averas, you're not gonna find very many of those. That does not seem to be the bar. So the Rebbe says here in Toras Menachem, volume thirty-three, page three ninety-five, I'm reading, it's on the screen. We need to learn Torah from hakham, and the job of a hakham is to stand between us and Hashem and relay the Torah. A, a Rav, a hakham is supposed to be a someone who connects, who stands between you and the Torah, but also connects you to the Torah. What is a malach? A malach is not his own . A malach doesn't have its own existence. A malach is just the messenger that does-- that he doesn't put his own spin on things. A malach is somebody who tells you things directly. Malach is . The word malach means . If a Rav is like a malach, that means he passes on the word of God. You know, some rabbis- And they learn Torah, and then they spin it to say exactly what they want it to mean, and then they teach it to you. That would not be a Malach

12:49 Hashem. A Malach Hashem says Torah the way that it actually is without putting their own spin on it. That doesn't mean that they don't package it so it's understandable, but it does mean that they don't insert their politics and personality and biases into Torah. You're getting the Torah of Hashem. You're just getting it through a Malach, and this Malach is a Shliach who is one with God. So that's one explanation. Here we have a . How do you pick a Mashpia who's like a Malach? Pick somebody who's not gonna put his own spin on things, somebody who doesn't have an agenda, because a Malach doesn't have an agenda. I have over here, it's a longish , but here the Rebbe asks the question and answers it word for word, so we're gonna read almost every word of it, and that'll probably bring us right to the end of our discussion. The Rebbe says, "Amnam." It's on your screen. This is a from-- It's Purim, but I didn't write down what year. It's Ta-it's, uh, Tish'ei'im mem zayin, and it's in volume two. It's on page six thirty-two. Okay, so in Lamed Gimel is our entry. "Amnam. " The Rebbe says, "I've explained that we need a Seleh Harav, that everybody needs to have a rabbi, everybody needs to have a Mashpia." Somebody could say back to the Rebbe, "I accept what you're saying that I need a rabbi, but I don't know how to pick one. You told me I have to pick one, a

13:56 Seleh Harav. You're not gonna pick one for me. It'd be great if you'd assign me a Mashpia, but you're not going to. You're making the responsibility on me to pick a rabbi. I don't know how to pick one." So the Rebbe says, "Especially people could say that since a Rav needs to be , since you're only allowed to learn from somebody who's as good as an angel , maybe I don't know how to find such a person . " The Rebbe says, "Based on this, people might ask a silly question. They might ask that a Seleh Harav, picking a rabbi that is similar to a Malach, how would I know how to pick a rabbi who's as good as a Malach? I've never met one." That's the Rebbe's question in this paragraph. He says, "What am I supposed to do? How do I pick a rabbi? I've never met a Malach before, so how am I supposed to know if my rabbi's as good as a Malach? I have nothing to compare it to ." That's the Rebbe's question. He says, "This answer is meforsh in Rambam. The Rambam tells you exactly how to pick a Rav." And, uh, the Rebbe-- And then he, he-- the Rebbe talks about how important Rambam is, and the Rebbe smiles and goes on and says, . The Rebbe just says as an aside, "Why is the Rambam explaining what a Malach is in the first place in a book of Jewish law?" He says, "This is why the

15:10 Rambam has to explain it. The Rambam has to explain in Halakhah what a Malach is because in Halakhah, it's the Halakhah that I have to pick a Rav who's like a Malach." But anyway, back to our regularly scheduled topic. Near the end of Rambam, he explains that when we get reward in Olam Haba, that Olam Haba for us is, and this is very famously controversial, right? But Rambam holds that in Olam Haba, that in Olam Haba, in the next world, we're not gonna have a body, we're just going to have a soul, and the , it's the souls of the Tzadikim that are going to be without a body. They're gonna be like a Malach Asharis. They're gonna be like Malachim. Now, why does the Rambam tell us this, that in the next world, Tzadikim are going to be like a Malach, as if they don't have a body? He says the . I'm cutting out things so that we can get through this. Anyway, here's the part we need. Okay. What is says in the Gemara also that in Olam Haba we'll be like a soul, like, uh, like a soul without a body, like the Malachei Hasharis. And here's the line that we really need. This means we won't eat or drink. There won't be jealousy. There won't be hatred. There won't be, uh, building yourself up over other people. Here's the key line. If you're not sure whether you picked a Mashpia or a Rav who qualifies as being like a Malach,

16:32 The Rebbe says, "You don't have to fly up to heaven and find yourself a Malach and compare the two." "So I picked a Mashpia. I don't know if he's good enough, so I'm gonna fly up to heaven," says the Rebbe. "I'm gonna find myself a Malach. I'm gonna put them side by side and make sure they're similar." The Rebbe puts in parentheses, "Who even knows if you'd find a Malach up there? Maybe you'd fly up, and you wouldn't find one because . Once you find him, how will you know when you find him if he's really a Malach? Maybe you'll find a Jewish demon." I don't know what that means, but I guess when you get up there, you might find the wrong thing. The Rebbe says that the answer to this is explicit in our Torah. What is a Malach Asharis? What are Malachei Asharis? The same thing that Tzadikim are in Olam Haba. They are souls without bodies. Specifically, what that looks like practically is somebody who has a Nefesh that is not . That is somebody whose soul is not easily bribed by his body. This is a person who is not jealous. This is a person who does not build himself up bigger than he is. This is someone who doesn't engage in and sinah. This is someone who's not always fighting with people. This is someone who is not-- who doesn't hate people. The Rebbe says, "If you wanna know what it means to pick a Rav who's like a

17:41 Malach, it doesn't mean to pick a Tzadik, but it does mean to pick somebody who doesn't have the qualities that we associate with the body." That is kinah. That's jealousy. That's building oneself up unjustifiably. That is, uh, fighting wars. Obviously, these are not necessarily wars, wars. You know, personal wars, hatred of other people. People who are ruled by their bodies don't learn from such a person. So the Rebbe is saying you need to pick somebody who's pretty refined, ideally someone who doesn't get in-- mixed into it all that often or mixed into it negatively. The Rebbe says the Yitzharah could still bring a Taina. And he says the Yitzharah frequently brings a Taina, puts in parentheses that the Yitzharah usually wears a silk kapota. That's what it says in the parentheses here. Keep out-- Keep a lookout for Yitzharah. Sometimes it comes dressed as a, as a Hasid in silk kapota. It says the Yitzharah could ask, "Doesn't it say in the Gemara that a Talmid Chaham, a really wise person, needs to be ready to stab people through, needs to be ready to skewer people? They're, they're, they're aggressive folk, especially when it comes to Torah." And the Rebbe answers that sometimes indeed a Talmid Chaham does need to do this, uh, in public. Sometimes they need to, uh, sometimes they need to take a stand for Torah and mitzvot. When it comes to private matters, in personal matters, it's always the opposite. A Talmid Chaham might sometimes need to take a stand in

18:54 public However, in private, they hear their disgrace and they don't respond. Furthermore, they forgive people who insult them, and they always, and, and they always forgive such a person. So when we're looking for a mashpia, when we're looking for a rav, what qualities are we looking for so far? We're not looking for a tzadik, but we are looking for someone who's not under the control of their body completely, someone whose soul controls their body or soul is not influenced by the body or bribed by the body. Specifically, what that looks like is someone who does not have jealousy, someone who does not get involved in arguments, someone who does not hate other people, someone who does not build themself up in a way that's not justified, and someone who is willing to hear their disgrace and won't answer, someone who maybe in public might defend Torah loudly, but at least in private is quite humble. You might claim, says the Rebbe, I still haven't explained myself well enough and you still don't know how to pick a mashpia, says the Rebbe. You might say, "This is not good enough," says the Rebbe, "so I'm gonna give you an easier rule of thumb because these are all so difficult." The Rebbe says, "Here's how you can pick a mashpia the easy way." The Rebbe says, "It's self-understood. Before you pick who should be a rav or a talmid chacham, you should at least pick somebody who is Jewish. At least make sure they're Jewish." How do

20:06 I know that someone has the signs of a Jew? Well, the Gemara tells us twice what the simanim of a Jew are. Here's the list. There are three signs of this nation. That means that they are merciful, they are bashful, and they are people who do acts of kindness. These are the signs of the Jewish people. And the Rebbe says, In addition to being somebody who's a rahman, bashan, and gemil chasid, you also can become a rav or a sheikh or a meir, uh, or all sorts of jobs until you end up as the Yossacha's bullen. So the Rebbe says down here in this paragraph that at the very least, before you even check whether this rav is somebody who's divorced himself from kinah and ta'avah and kavan and all of these other trappings of the physical body, at least make sure your mashpia is a Jew. And the way-- at least make sure your mashpia has the spirit of a Jew. So at the very least, make sure that a mashpia is a bashan, a rahman, and a gemil chasid. The Rebbe says in another sicha, he shortens this, and I have this on your screen. With that, we're gonna finish for today. This is the year the third volume, page sixty-two. He once again says the exact same thing. If I wanna make it easier for you to pick a rav, to pick a mashpia, this is . You're all telling me it's difficult. You don't know how to pick one. He says,

21:15 The truth is that a real rav is very similar to a malach, uh, in the ways that we've described above, that they don't have kinah and ta'avah and kavan. You absolutely should look for somebody like that. But at the very least, don't settle for someone who doesn't at least have the three simanim. They should at least have the three signs of a holy Jew and a member of the Jewish nation, which is . And the Rebbe explains in the sicha why they need these qualities specifically to be a good mashpia. Basically, to over-summarize, but you can read it in your source sheet, he says that somebody needs to have rachmanus and a little bashanus to make sure that they're not going to give you the wrong answer. Because if somebody's very full of themselves, they'll always think they have the right answer, and they're too embarrassed to say, "I don't know." So you need to have them be bashanom, so they won't be people who aren't embarrassed to say, "I don't know." They need to be rachmanom because they need to have a little mercy on themselves and a little mercy on the people asking them not to give the wrong answer. But at the same time, they need to be gemil chasidim because somebody who's a real bashan and a rahman is going to say, "I don't know the answers to a lot of questions. I'm doing everybody a disservice by talking. I'm not gonna agree to be anybody's mashpia." Therefore, they also have

22:10 to be gemil chasid and do kindness for other people and say, "Yeah, I'll help you whenever I can, even though frequently I'm gonna end up looking dumb when I don't know the answer." So the pr- the three basic qualities to make somebody even a baseline good mashpia is that somebody that you should pick as your mashpia should be somebody at the very least who is a bashan and a rahman enough to say when they don't know and to give you the right answer whenever they can, and enough of a gemil chasid to not care that they're going to frequently look silly saying, "I don't know the right answer," and still nonetheless agree to be your mashpia. What we've gone through then is, uh, from the beginning of our letter where the Rebbe said that when we're picking a rav, he has to be similar to a malach all the way through to the Rebbe's guidance practically on how to pick a mashpia. We got a couple big principles. The big principles we pulled out is that a mashpia, a mashpia or any rav should be someone who doesn't put their own spin on things. This was from the first sicha. This is someone who's like a malach, meaning that they're like a messenger of God. They might package things nicely so you understand them, but they certainly aren't manipulating the Torah to meet their ends. They're not people who turn the Torah political or turn the Torah sociological. They make the Torah what the Torah

23:08 is and pass it along to you the way God wants you to hear it. That's one thing to look for in a mashpia because they should be like a malach. Another thing to look for in a mashpia, they should be like a malach from the second sicha, was that like a malach or like a tzadik in Gan Eden who doesn't have a body, it should be somebody whose soul is not easily bribed by the body, specifically someone, these are the leshonos of the Rebbe, who doesn't have kinah, who's not jealous, who doesn't have, uh, ta'chrus, who doesn't build himself up too big, someone who doesn't, um... What were the other things? It was kinah, it was ta'chrus, it was, uh, there was another one. I don't remember what the other one was. Anybody remember? Shout it out if you remember. I'll find it, but shout it out. Kinah, ta'chrus, and I don't remember the other one. Anybody remember? Sinah. I forgot sinah. Kinah and sinah, they rhyme. I should have remembered. They have to be somebody who doesn't hate people. He mentions in one place, they have to be someone who doesn't engage in mechumus, someone who doesn't engage in big machlakes. And even if they do make machlakes sometimes in the name of Torah, if you catch them in private, they're very humble people. This is a malach Hashem. The Rebbe says if you find it hard to find somebody with that level of-- with, with those qualities, 'cause th- those are unfortunately fairly

24:11 rare qualities, the Rebbe says at the very least make sure to pick somebody who has the basic signs of being a Jew, which is That is, that they're bashful, they are merciful, and they do acts of kindness. And in this last sicha we saw, we saw why exactly you need those qualities to be a good mashpia, namely that won't make mistakes with you and are willing to take risks with you. So you need all those qualities in a mashpia.