ראה תשפ״ו

00:03 Shalom Aleichem. Welcome to, to this evening's share, which is, uh, Parsha Suray. So I'm traveling, so the Inyanim will be perhaps not, not as intense. Um, still we have a nice variety of Inyanim to address today. So number one, when a person has added a name, is there a need to, to, uh, update the ketubah? Now, people add a name sometimes for health reasons. There's also because of the issue of not having a son-in-law and father-in-law or mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law having the same name. So many people, for that reason, to be able to make a shidduch, they'll add a name. And so, so now in, in Lubavitch, there's many people called Meyam Nachum Mendel, Chaim Nachum Mendel, and so on. Um, so do you... Do you need to rewrite the ketubah? Now, there are two... There's a, there's a standard ketubah. There's two other forms for the ketubah. One is called Ketubah De'irkesa, one is called Ketubah De'ishtakech Ba'tausa. If a person had lost the ketubah, if a woman had lost the ketubah, then to replace one, the lost one. So the nusach that we had a ketubah and it got lost. We have another that the ketubah happened to be reviewed, and it was seen that there was a mistake in the ketubah. So that's called Ketubah De'ishtakech Ba'tausa. So that, that's gonna be reflected in the nusach of the ketubah. Here, we do not have a standard form. Oh, well, really, the ketubah was perfectly kosher, but because of a change of

01:59 the name, therefore, we want to do a new ketubah. We don't have a traditional nusach for that, uh, for that change of ketubah. So stop inventing a new, new nusach. So here you have on the screen from the Minchas Yitzchak. That's, uh, he was in Manchester, Eretz Yisrael, in Yerushalayim. Rav Weiss, so he does recommend to, to change the ketubah, to update the ketubah. But then he, uh, later on, he says, "Ha'olam lo niddas ha'ru bo ze." It's not a-- That generally the olam are not so particular about this. And he says, "Al im rus chus," because having the ketubah with the old name is not as if you are married without having a valid ketubah. Because the main thing is the ketubah has to be enforceable. If it's not enforceable, then it's, it's, it's meaningless. But if it's enforceable, so it's valid. So all right, so today he's called, um, Chaim Meyam Nachum Mendel. But there-- it's not gonna be so difficult to find witnesses to say, "Yeah, Meyam Nachum Mendel, but when he got married, he was Nachum Mendel." So you can't just say, "Oh, dismiss it. Oh, it's not that-- it's not a genuine document." It's not gonna been too difficult to enforce it. And on that basis, he say he supports the minhag ha'olam not to start updating the ketubah because of an added name. And as I say, it's a little bit not so straightforward to, to do this, and, uh, it's not, not, not so widely done. Right. The

03:44 next thing is someone asked me, which I don't have a slide for this, was a family, uh, a couple. He was married before. She was married before. And now they're getting a re-- they're getting engaged. And at the engagement party, so his pa-- his parents are already passed away. Her mother is so frail that she's not able to even to break a plate. So how important is it to break a plate? So in my mind, as I say, I'm traveling, I have a list from Rabbi Chaikin from Cleveland, zol zayn gezunt, of the differences of, uh, a wedding for a second versus zivug sheni for second wedding. I have a vague recollection that you don't break a plate altogether. But I, I don't have that in front of me. But I just say the following, that generally there's an approach that for zivug sheni, we-- it's, it's, uh, a downplayed celebration. And they play on the idea that the first l'chaims, which were given with the whole kohen segbrachim, with the whole fanfare, and they didn't last. The second l'chaims, which were given discreetly, they lasted. So there's this idea of the-- a second wedding is a dachut. The choice is to make a dachut on the low-key. This may be also the reason why it's not done in the open air. It's done indoors, not in a shul. There's a separate inyan that's very Charedi shul, and we don't make a wedding inside a shul because that's copying what, lehavdil, other faiths that they

05:32 make their-- they take their vows before the, before the altar, et cetera. So we don't do a, a wedding in a shul, whereas there are for sure, we know there are many communities who do. There's something which is discussed in Sefer Hamed. But, uh, it make, make the wedding indoors. So again, because of less, less publicity. Also, some say not to have musical instruments at the wedding. That's a difficult thing to sell nowadays, but fine. But possibly, what's the reason of breaking a plate? So the br- the, the way it appears in Poskim, it's the, it's the announcement. The smashing of a plate which makes a big noise, that is like to, to announce that something... There's been a shidduch has been confirmed. So possibly for that very reason, it may be that for a, a zivug sheini, there's no need for that to ke- to keep it a bit quieter. Um, just one more point about this. There is a well-known vort, which again I didn't trace now. Why is it by a, a vort we break a plate, and by a chasanah you break a glass? The answer is that there's a commitment of a vort, there's commitment of a chasanah. Glass, if it's broken, it can be remolten and reformed. Clay, if it gets broken, it's irreparable. And so the, the commitment which is made under a chuppah is a commitment which there is, if it doesn't work out, then al pitur there's, uh, something called a get. So it is, uh,

07:12 like glass, which is the, the, the, uh, whatever the commitment is, it, it's reversible. Whereas when you give your word, if it's uni- you to unilaterally step away from it, that's not okay, and that's the idea of, uh, of a klicheres, that it's, uh, o-once you've given your word, you can't change it. Okay. That's... But that's a side issue. The main thing is that there seem... There is grounds to say that it's not necessary to make... to break a plate, number one. And number two, that which you're saying about the, who breaks the plate. It's not davka the mothers have to break the plate, it can be other people also. It can be choson. Uh, it's, it can be... You have cases where there's no parents there. So someone else breaks a plate. The main thing is the, the breaking of a plate, as they say, it's a, a, an, an announcement of what's going on. That there's been a, a new, a, a new, a new shidduch. Right. Let's go on to the hanyayim, which is question number three. So hanyayim of your, your tes arv goes through the seder of when you wear-- people who wear four tefillin, four pairs of tefillin, and says it sh- that the, the rashis are worn from Eizeu Makoman, from be- from before Eizeu Makoman all the way till Achzadichem. And then they, then you switch to ShaRos and you'd say, uh, Tehillim in the, uh, Shimosh Irabed ShaRos, and then put on Rabbeinu Tam's. And then

08:53 you say after Shema and Kadesh Ravki Veyacho, Perek Mishnayis. And then switch off, switch to ShaRos for Rav and then to do a Parsha Chumash. Each one Shema is said, Shema Yisrael is said in each one. But the question which was, um, I was asked, is there a deeper significance to the f- the choice of a Perek Mishnayis davka in, in Rav-- in, in Rabbeinu Tam and the other in Yonim in the, the, the respective tefillin? So I did not have, uh, a, a deeper reason. On a simple level, there is the inyon of, uh... Well, let's take a look at Rashi. Rashi's is the main, the main tefillin, and following on is Tehillim, which is a hemsha to tefillah. Therefore, for, uh, noshem kerkeino we say the Tehillim also in Rashi's. And then we have the next thing is Rabbeinu Tam's. Again, noshem kerkeino, we talk about Rabbeinu Tam's. There is an inyon of learning something, uh, in Rabbeinu Tam's tefillin, particularly learning inyon of halakhahs of, of Mishnayis, as we'll see in a moment. Therefore, that's the, the, the Rabbeinu Tam's to learn something davka tefillin of Rabbeinu Tam, and the choice of Mishnayis, as we'll see in a moment. And, uh, then we have after that the Parsha Chumash, which, which I don't really have an explanation where it comes into the regular schedule. I remember years ago hearing from Ben Zion Shemtov, alav ha-shalom, what is the time of the day you should be saying Parsha Chumash? Tanya you usually do,

10:38 do before davening. Tehillim is after davening. When do you say Chumash? So he said, "Whenever you get a few minutes available, you have a Chumash handy, you do Chumash as soon as possible." That was his, uh... Right. So now on the screen we have, on the left of the screen, we have the Kaf HaChaim from Rabbeinu Chaim Palaggi, and the comments from the Rebbe Rashab. We've mentioned this before, and so we're gonna be looking at this entry. So Rabbeinu Chaim Palaggi writes, "Ma tov," how good would it be to learn something after davening, even if you're finished the Tikkun HaYom, the regular, uh, d-daily schedule. I'm not sure what he means by that. Then he says, and here, shelol ishmor, the fact that other people will see, don't worry about other people will see, and they might think that you're more frum than them. Don't worry about that. And he quotes the lotion, "Lo b'chipoz u'ntzetze'yu." Don't rush out of shul. Now, then he says, he quotes from a Sefer Pesach Advir, uh, it's chapter chaf he. And he says about a chazan, um, "Oi toshuv betirah l'harav oi hayosher." That he says who, one who does not put on tefillin. "Be'esek hatiarah arei hu menudah lashamayim." The importance of learning Torah while wearing tefillin. Okay. That is the Chaim Palaggi's comment. And then we have what's more relevant to ourselves is the comment of the Rebbe Rashab. And it's so interesting because these comments don't come across as corrections on the Chaf Hachaim. Sometimes

12:32 they seem to be just he wrote down a message which he wanted to give over. Uh, although he, although it just kept in this volume for over a century. «Tzrichim lilmod eizeh dover achad tfila bebeit haknesses.» First thing, he corroborates this idea that after davening in shul, you should learn something. And he doesn't give a source for this, but we kn-know it's written in Shulchan Aruch. The inyan of meichol min chayal el chayal, min beit haknesses to beit ha midrash, that after davening, you should learn something. Number one. So to learn something after davening. «Uma tov bitefillin.» Second point is that this learning after davening is recommended it be in tefillin. To be sure, «Yiskahim etzli ha'yes eirei russha bitfila al kol ha'yom,» that the inspiration and the uplift which you had in davening, this should be now extended to the whole day. And by learning some Torah, wearing tefillin, that seems to be effective in this bridging from the inspiration of davening to the rest of the day. And the third thing he says, «Ve tov lilmod mishnayos.» And so learning after davening, number one, not in shul. Number two, learning after davening in tefillin. And third thing, learning Mishnayos after davening. «Gam yodu'a tefilo is rotzri in Torah is shuv and rotz libcho shuv.» You had the inspire- inspiration of davening, and now you learn something, it's like bringing inspiration down to earth. So this is where we're seeing that the Rebbe Rashab is not talking about Rabeinu Tam specifically. He is saying,

14:20 however, there's a maaleh learning when talking to lear- in tefillin, and particularly to learn Mishnayos. And then on the screen, you also have the comments of the publisher, of the editor, and he brings the idea of kol ha'shona halochos bechol yom, one who learns haloch every day. Halochos every day is assured he'd be a ben elok ha'bo. And he quotes from the other Chaf Hachaim to say that there is an, an emphasis particularly to halochas. And by learning Mishnayos, you mekayem this inyan. And then he has here how, um, Mishnayos oses neshamah. And so by learning Mishnayos, it breaks the klipa and it maybe allows the neshamah to shine, and this will be the bridge to take the inspiration of tefila to-- for the whole day. Okay, so what we're seeing here is there is a particular maaleh limud, um, Mishnayos after davening, and particularly in tefillin. And so or it says put together with the Rabeinu Tam. Um. I've never noticed this before. Sometimes people ask, is it important to learn-- to say Tehillim, the daily Tehillim whilst wearing your tefillin, or can you take off your tefillin before? So possibly the fact that it says here that the tefillin in the Hayom Yom that the Tehillim should be said with Shimush Rabbo perhaps tells us it should be said in tefillin. And if you're not wearing Shimush Rabbo, so perhaps it should be said with, with the Rashi's tefillin. Right. Uh, um, in other words, what I'm taking the liberty of saying that

16:07 the messages... People ask, why did the Rebbe see the need to include in Ha-in Hayom Yom the order for those who poor-- wear four pairs of tefillin, since it's not Shavuah b'chol nefesh, it's only Yechidus gulot, so why do you give it? So I'm saying you look at this and you can say, "All right, I don't-- I'm not wearing four, four pairs of tefillin, but I can apply some of it in my own, uh, Seder HaAvoda." We go on to the next point, and that is about a... Does a married man recite a bracha each morning for the tallit katan? So one of our dedicated listeners is, uh, davens Nusach Ashkenaz. He says, "Not only married men wear tallisim. In Ashkenaz minhag, even a, a bocher will wear a tallis, and even a young boy under bar mitzvah will also wear a tallis." Yeah. So true. So my apologies. The, the question is true for married or not married. The question is, we have a bracha when we put on our tallis in the morning. We say the bracha leaves after with tzitzit, to enwrap ourselves with tzitzit. Then we have a bracha for the tallit katan, which we don't wrap our ourselves with, we just put it on. And there's a nusach habracha of al mitzvat tzitzit. And the question is, the same person who at seven o'clock or six thirty is gonna put on a tallit katan, and at nine o'clock is gonna put on a tallit gadol, does he say two brachos,

17:38 one at s- uh, uh, seven o'clock and one at nine o'clock? Or does he just wait around with the, the bracha tallit katan incorporated with the tallit, uh, the bracha on the tallit gadol? Now, let's, let's first read. Again, we have here a piece from Rav Chaim Palaggi and a comment of the Rebbe Rashab, which is very, very interesting. Um, so first of all, the idea of wearing a tallit katan any time It says even during Tashmish to wear the talis koton, and that was the minhag of the Arizal. Then he says, when you change your talis koton every Friday, He talks about on Fr-Friday, you should change the f-four white garments. He's obviously borrowing from the idea that the Kohanim, the Kohanim had yotzim, wore four garments, uh, and they were made of linen. Although the gartels and maflekes are in the Kohain Godol wore, um, all four of, of linen. So this idea of Shabbos changing into fresh clothing. So the talis koton should also be changed. Of course, talis koton is not linen, it's made of wool. Fine. So when you change your, your, your... On Friday, and I've-- I'm sure I've said this before, but, uh, it perhaps deserves to be re-repeated, that people know that for Shabbos you have dedicated Shabbos clothes. People also know that on Shab-- for Shabbos, your underwear, et cetera, you put on fresh, not necessarily dedicated to Shabbos, but clean, clean, clean clothing. Clean shirt. Not dedicated to Shabbos, but a clean shirt with covered

19:24 Shabbos. The talis koton, what about that? Does it have to be a different one? Does it have to be... So the Pashas, it should be either dedicated to Shabbos, so you have a different one dedicated to Shabbos. If, if that's not so practical, at least it has to be a clean one. It doesn't make sense that all the other clothes are clean and dedicated to Shabbos, and the talis koton is wear-having the same sweat which you've had for the last three months. Doesn't, doesn't make sense at all. So here you see that in the Kaf HaChaim, he's saying before Shabbos, when you get dressed for Shabbos, you change your different talis koton. Ah. So now when your hands are clean... So he says, if your hands are clean at the time when you put on talis koton, you make your brachah then. If your hands are not clean, in other words, at the time you put on talis koton, it's not practical to make a brachah. So then after you wash your hands, you'll ch-touch the tzitzit with your hands, and you make a brachah afterwards. So that's on a Friday. Then he says, if you wear a talis koton and you take it off, and you switch, you put it back on again shortly thereafter, you don't need to make a new brachah because the... it was such a short interval. However, he says, if you go into the Beis Hamikvahs, you enter the bathhouse, and there the interval between taking off and putting

20:53 on is a half Our talis koton is not large enough to wrap around. You have to, to, to be Now let's take a look shir ituf, and that's what the Alter Rebbe's talking about. But here in the Hayom Yom, he says our talisim katanim are not large enough to do atifoh. And therefore, leze bereh, we say the brocha al mitzvot tzitzit. Now let me just perhaps clarify that the brocha lehisatef tzitzit is written in the Gemara. The brocha al mitzvot tzitzit is not written in the Gemara. There's a discussion in Poskim whether the lehisatef, whether the wrapping around is imperative for the mitzvah of tzitzit. Because after all, the Torah says, "Asher tzitzita bo ligfeichem." It doesn't say lehisatef. This is in the Gemara as the lotion of lehisatef. But why should that be, uh... Why should you not re-fulfill the mitzvah if you're not mitzatef? So this is a machloket Poskim. So let's say we'll follow their, their view that you have a kind mitzvah tzitzit even without atifoh. Well, then the, the brocha is just doesn't-- it jars. How can you say lehisatef and you're not doing so? And hence, you have this creation of an alternative nusach al mitzvot tzitzit. And the Alter Rebbe in his siddur does not bring this nusach habrocha of al mitzvot tzitzit because he's not happy to say a brocha which just doesn't have a source in the Gemara. And despite that, despite the Alter Rebbe in his siddur, which I know he does mention it, in

26:40 the siddur he does mention it, but then the Hayom Yom is confirming despite those reservations, we do say the brocha al mitzvot tzitzit if necessary. Ki im she'because there's no-- you cannot say lehisatef. But meanwhile, he said that a person who gets up early, gets up in the morning, and he's going to be able, he's putting on his talis cotton, and he's able to say a brocha, say a brocha then. I, two hours later, he put on a talis. Doesn't matter. Now you're doing a mitzvah, and you can make a brocha as you're doing the mitzvah. So do so, despite the reservations about the nusach habrocha. But that is, I must say, largely re-ir-irrelevant because most of us, when we get up in the morning, wash netilat yadayim, then we use bathroom, brush our teeth, get dressed, and when you're getting dressed, you've just touched parts of your body with which, uh, warrant that you have to wash your hands. You can't make a brocha then. So most of the t- most of us, when we're putting on our talis cotton, especially if you wear under your shirt, not rather over your shirt, when you're putting your talis cotton, you-- it's-- you cannot make a brocha because your hands are, are soiled. As a result, we go into the second category. Im osu levorah, if you are not able to say a brocha when you're putting talis cotton, then we have kedavat tefillah. Before davening, if you're not wearing a talis gadol, you mashivach vidal

28:04 titzitos, you touch the four tzitzit, and you make a brocha then. Okay, so what we're seeing here is that by and large, people who are, um, a bo- a bocher, a person whose tzitzit in the morning a fresh pair, and he doesn't say a brocha then, he'll wait till kedavat tefillah, which is a mystery. Why does he have to wait till then? Why can't he say it right away? I don't know. Perhaps it's because if he goes to mikveh and he comes out, there going to be a shaal to make another brocha. Actually, because of that, could be. But for the ingerman, for a married man, so then he didn't say a brocha in the morning because he wasn't able to make a brocha. He's a mokim osu levorah. And then he might say the talis cotton with the brocha of the talis gadol. So we've got here the Rebbe Rashab is talking about making a brocha on the talis cotton when you woke up, even if you didn't change it. And we're going from one now to the, the other extreme. Dafke if you changed it, and even then we're not rushing to say the brocha al mitzvot tzitzit unless you mamash maka-ing the brocha, the mitzvah th-th-then. You say the brocha right when you put it on. Otherwise, the brocha al, al mitzvot tzitzit is dropped until, uh, and y-you just cover it with the talis gadol. So personally, I very rare-- I mean, I don't say the brocha al mitzvot tzitzit on

29:30 a regular basis other than a Friday afternoon. I change them to a different talis cotton, the Kovet Shabbos. That's when I'll say the brocha al mitzvot tzitzit because I'm not intending to put on a talis gadol. Incidentally, on Erev Yom Kippur, on Erev Yom Kippur, I would not say the brocha al mitzvot tzitzit because I have ahead of me, I'm going to put on the talis, uh, w-with before Kol Nidre with a brocha, and I have in mind the t-t-the, the talis cotton. Just by the way, I can also throw in that when you make your brocha on your talis gadol and you bidech the tzitzit, you should also be bidech the tzitzit of the talis cotton because after all, your brocha is going to for the ta- on the talis cotton as well as the talis gadol. Okay. That is as much we can-- we're gonna cover about this point, and let's move on. So number four was what brocha should be said on ice cream which contains pieces of biscuit. It's apparently quite a, a, a popular product, and it's gotten, it gotten into... There's a Sefer Shaarei Habrocha, a very contemporary Sefer abro- brochos on food. And he says make two brochas for the simple reason. We have a general principle that g-eating grain is not considered subsidiary to other foods in the same combination. Unless it's there just to hold it together, but if it's there for to eat it as a biscuit- To give that, that, that crunchy flavor, it's,

31:06 it's, it's a mezonos. On the other hand, to say, "Oh, the whole ice cream has become mezonos because there's a few bits of biscuits," it also is, uh, doesn't make sense. And therefore, we have the recommendation to make two brachos. And the same thing would be if you have ice cream in a cornet. So the cornet is mezonos. A cone, whatever you call it. And that ice cream is shehakol. And to say mezonos on the whole thing doesn't make sense. On the other hand, you cannot ignore the co- the, the, the, uh, the cone, the mezonos cone, especially if it's got a taste to it. So got a bit sugary. So the poel, you make one bracha on the mezonos, then a bracha on the, on shehakol on the ice cream. It comes to boreh nefoshos. It's unlikely that you have a kazais of biscuit within a reasonable amount of time of bifras praras, and therefore it's just boreh nefoshos. And that is true whether it's ice cream in a cone or bits of biscuit inside a, uh, uh, an ice cream. You don't need to make a, a ala mikyor on the biscuit part because it's toffel to the... Uh, becau-because you don't have a shiazer. Yeah. All right, that was about the ice cream. Let's now go on to... Did I miss out something? No. Did that. The, the numbers is incorrect here. This should be number... No, that's correct. Five, six. Okay. So here's a question about calling up to the Torah

32:42 a man who's wearing short trousers, and the shliach tells me that generally he's avoided doing so. Um, so what you have on the screen here is from the Piskei Teshuves, from Zechas Tefilah. They're talking about standing in Shemoneh Esreh, to stand in a respectful way, omed lefnei hamelech. Then he says, "So all right, in our society, you would omed i-in a, uh, a presence of anoshim chashuvim. You'd wear a suit, you'd wear a jacket, and all right, a hat in the goyishe society now is no longer, uh, a kashrut thing to, to do. But by, by us, the hat is also part of it. But there are so-elements in society from, from, you know, I'm sure Shabbos, but by them is a, a shirt and a kippah. Kippah seruga. By them that's... Then they omed lefnei hamelech in that way also. In that's Asron, it's a very popular, um, level of dress. So for them it's not such a problem to daven Shemoneh Esreh in that way. And then what about davening without wearing socks? So if it's a place where it's people go around, um, barefoot or with open sandals, without socks. So then again, also that would be okay. But then he says, "Vechehen also short sleeves and short trousers. Zulaz keshe nigoshim lefnei hamelech keshalia tzibbur." With the exception when the, this person is going to be a chazan, shetzrichim leis atef gehoigen. As a chazan, they should be dressed more, more properly. Where... So in the world, a chazan wears a

34:41 talis. So in a Chabad shul, where we're not insisting on a talis for, uh, as for chazan, but a person's wearing, uh, short sleeves, perhaps he, uh, should be encouraged to wear a talis instead, um, as kavod hatzibbur. Then he says, "Vechehen baaliyah sem l'Torah." Also when having aliyah to the Torah. So the sh-short sleeves and short trousers, whilst, uh, for the person's own tefillah, it seems to be acceptable, and even though it's omed it's considered omed lefnei hamelech, and that's good enough. And yet, I'm not totally sure why, but when it is to stand in front of the tzibbur, then there's expectation that he should be, um, dressed better. And as a result, he's, he's discouraging giving an aliyah to someone who's wearing short sleeves or wearing, um, short trousers. Again, this, this might change according to the norm in that, in that part of the world. Oops. Okay. And you know, it's, it's... For a, for a person wearing short sleeves, it's not such a big deal to give them, uh, something to wear, a jacket or a talis. What you're gonna do is wearing short trousers, what are you gonna do? Give him a pair of trousers? So you're gonna be... That's, that's a difficult, difficult one to, to, uh, follow up. Right. Let's move on. So now, I think last week, we had a discussion about Shnay Mikra. I went to do the Ma'avet Kedarah that came up, and in passing, I'd mentioned how personally I do Ma'avet Kedarah on Shabbos

36:25 morning. Um, and so someone sent me this clip from a letter of the Rebbe, where the Rebbe says the mitzvah is to be Ma'avet Kedarah on Friday, and only be... Oines oisen ze Shabbos. And if you didn't manage on Friday, then you do it on Shabbos. Fair enough. My, my dilemma is the following. That on Friday, there is a ma'aleh to say Shmoneh Ma'avet Kedarah without an interruption. On a Friday, it's the busiest time for people asking shailas. So here's my dilemma. To say on Friday and an-anticipate to be interrupted- Or to say on the Shabbos, which is not the right time, it's later than the right time, but which will be without interruptions. So this is, this is my dilemma. Okay. What we do-- What do we have here? Um, it's... This is from Siman Reish Pe He, that there's one opinion which says to do Ma'ariv-Tzedakah erev Shabbos after Chatzos. There's another opinion to say erev Shabbos right after Shacharis. Now, then he adds, "V'shelo lehafsik klal be-emsam." And it's-- The way it's presented, it seems to be as if this kedo, not to be-- not to interrupt the middle, is connected to the minding of saying Ma'ariv-Tzedakah in the morning rather than in the afternoon of Friday, which I don't see a connection. This here, one is about the timing. This yesh noge'im, yesh noge'im. And then v'shelo lehafsik, that seems should, should be, uh, according to both of them. It should, uh... But the wording is a bit confusing to myself.

38:11 Okay, let's go on to the next point, and that is about a Kaddish. So a person who's in the year of Avelus, one that's done, or parent, will say Kaddish every day. And if he's po-- if he's able to, he davens at the omit. And by doing so, he's able to accrue si- a number of sixteen Kaddish. And what's the significance of saying Kaddish sixteen times? So there's a basis on the Zohar that the Ka-Ka-Ka-Kaddish, it, it brings a relief respite for the Shomer in the, the Elok Mames gives respite for an hour and a half. And since there are twenty-four hours in a day, so sixteen Kaddish gives twenty-four hours of respite. That's the Cheshbon. Now you can see I, um, made the effort of listing all the Kaddish according to the Seudah Tefillah, HaNo'eg BeChabad nowadays. As you can see, with three times saying Mishnayos after davening, you have eighteen Kaddish. No, you can say that our Seder was before they introduced the engine of saying Tehillim every day. So there was this, would have been, uh, seventeen Kaddish. Uh, here's the question. Why, why if there are already, you already have sixteen Kaddish, why are you still saying Mishnayos and Kaddish D'Rabonon after each of the three tefillahs? And in, uh, in addition to these eighteen on a day of Monday and Thursday, where there's Krias HaTorah, there's an extra Kaddish, so you have nineteen Kaddish. So why is the, why is the Ohel still Mishtadel to say Kaddish D'Rabonon, say Mishnayos

40:13 and Kaddish D'Rabonon when the quota of Kaddish he has, if he davens the Yom and all three tefillahs, he has the quota of Kaddish, of sixteen Kaddish anyways. That was the question. Yeah. So someone in one, one of these WhatsApp groups, someone had said he had heard that there's a Diyuk not to say more than sixteen Kaddish. So good news is that there's a-- for a shiur of the Rebbe to the contrary. When it comes to the number of Kaddish, there's not a problem to be more shiur on the sixteen Kaddish. It's just not to have less than the sixteen Kaddish. And you can look at the Zohar about the hour and a half. Okay. So having more is not a problem, but still that doesn't answer... It's not a problem, but why are you going, making an emphasis of davka saying Mishnayos and adding Kaddish? And just to understand one point, that when there is no Chiyuv say, to say Kaddish, then we don't have Mishnayos after davening. We don't... It's not like the Kaddish after other parts, the Sibur Sefer. And then you say a Kaddish after... But the Kaddish after Mishnayos is only there to enable the, the, the, the Ovel to say the extra Kaddish. So here's the question. You've already got your sixteen Kaddish. Why is he saying Mishnayos again and again after each tefillah when you could really have dispensed with that? So that was the dilemma. That was the question. So what I'm sugge- suggesting, a Chiddush, is

41:53 the following. That you look in Kisvei HaAriza"l, and you can see here, this is from the Kaf HaChaim. This Kaf HaChaim, I think, is Siman Nun He. So Kaf HaChaim generally brings things from the Ariza"l, and the Ariza"l would refer to the Kaddish. The Rabbonon is Kaddish D'Yasm. The Kaddish said after Kaveh, after Pitom Makdres, that's the Kaddish of the orphans. Now, that is because according to the Sephardim, it's not a standard thing to say Kaddish after Olam. So which is the last Kaddish? So the last Kaddish is the Kaddish after, after Ein Kelokeinu, after Pitom Makdres. That being the Kaddish Basra. So it's, it's, it's known as the Kaddish D'Yasm. It's interesting, the Sephardim, the Kaddish after Shir Shel Yom, they don't call it the Kaddish Yasm. They call it, call it Kaddish Yeh Shlom. Kaddish D'Rabonon after Pitom Makdres is called Kaddish D'Yasm, the, the orphan's Kaddish. So here we have an interesting thing. Ashkenazim, we do say Oleinu and the Kaddish after. So they host the Kaddish Basra and the one after Oleinu. But the reason said that the Kaddish Rabbonu is a Kaddish D'yasmach. So in order to fulfill this idea that the last Kaddish should be a Kaddish D'Rabonu, and it's a Ka-Kaddish D'yasmach, therefore, they have to say again, further Mishnahs in addition to the Omar Rabalo Zarub HaDin, et cetera, with the Pidion HaKeres, to say after the whole davening is over, to say again Mishnahs, and then to say a Kaddish D'Rabonu, that becomes Taka the Ka-Kaddish

43:48 Basra, and it's Kaddish D'yasmach, and it's Kaddish D'Rabonu. So I'm just su-suggesting that the reason for saying the extra Kaddish with Mishnahs and Kaddish is to ab-to be able to have that the Kaddish Basra should Taka be a Kaddish D'Rabonu. If someone has a better explanation, I'll be very happy to share it with the 십시오 in the future. Okay. We're going on to our next question, and that is someone writes to me, uh, he went to the omit by the oil or something. People davening, he needed someone to go to the omit, he got to the omit. So he finishes off Rabbi Shmuel, um, you know, David Lam and Sefer, ...</zeir. And then you're Yotzer, and he starts Kaddish. But then as he starts Kaddish, there's someone who starts saying, "Oh, he's Kaddish, Kaddish." So someone who is present is saying Kaddish. Many people say Kaddish for a, a relative or someone else who there's no relative is saying Kaddish. So he jumps in to say Kaddish. If you're saying Kaddish, I don't need to say Kaddish. The Chazan doesn't need to say Kaddish before I do. If someone else is saying Kaddish, it's optional. So he stepped back. You're saying Kaddish, I don't have to say it. So this is the question. When someone started saying Kaddish, thinking that no one else saying, and then someone else starts saying, "Is it okay to stop short?" Well, you started, you have to finish. This is the question. So I looked around and I didn't find

45:19 this question addressed clearly. It's not limited to Chabad, it can be in other, other circles also. He started Kaddish, and then someone else started saying Kaddish, are you allowed to stop? Just, yeah. So here we have a story which is printed in Sefer HaMinhagim. It was once on a Monday or a Thursday. It was the year where the Rebbe Rashab was in Avelus after his mother. When did the Rebbe Rashab's mother pass away? I don't remember now. Okay. So that was the Rebbe Sarifka, I believe. So after sh- he was in the year of Avelus after his mother's passing. So the Rebbe Rashab moved from his place to go to the bimah to say Kaddish after Krias HaTorah. By the way, it's interesting. Many Avelim make a point of getting every Monday and Thursday, getting the third, the third Aliyah. The Rebbe Rashab apparently wasn't there. He was standing by his place. Said, uh, came to, to came Kaddish. So he walks over from his place to towards the bimah to say Kri-- to say Kaddish. Meanwhile, someone else had started saying Kaddish. He didn't realize that the Rebbe is saying Kaddish today by the bimah. But when he saw that the Rebbe was coming over to the Ka- to the, to the bimah, so he stepped back. So in the middle of Kaddish, he stepped back. Rebbe Rashab told him, he motions him to stay here. The Rebbe said Kaddish, and then he told him, "You also now say Kaddish." So what, what I'm

46:54 seeing from this story is the fact that he stopped in the middle of Kaddish doesn't seem to be such a terrible thing. Otherwise, why would they sound so 십시오 about him? All right. So it's, it's, it was okay for him to stop and, uh, the Rebbe Rashab was saying the Kaddish. The Rebbe Rashab, nevertheless, did encourage him to say another Kaddish-- to say the Kaddish again. And we've gone through this in the past, where here there's a difference between the, um, Ashkenazim and the Sefardim. The Ashkenazim see the Kaddish after Krias HaTorah as it's primarily the prerogative of the, of the balker. If the balker is a nice fellow, he'll allow someone else to say it. Whereas by the Sefardim, it's l'chatchilah seen as a Ka- as, as a, as a, uh, Kaddish, uh, for the Yosomim. Like you have a Kaddish after Shishalayim, et cetera. There's also a Kaddish after, um, after Krias HaTorah. And as a result, by the Sefardim, it's accepted that there can be several Avelim, Rachmanuschan, ch- saying that Kaddish after Krias HaTorah. Which also has a bearing. I was Shabbos, I was in Gan Yisroel, and there was a, a boy, a ni- a t-ten-year-old boy whose father passed away about a month ago, um, and he was saying Kaddish. So the Kaddish after Krias HaTorah, they told him to say this Kaddish. And this is really dependent on this Mahlokes between Ashkenazim and the Sefardim. Is this Kaddish a Kaddish, uh, a voluntary Kaddish, so to speak, which

48:29 is a Kaddish Yosom? Or is it part of seudat mitzvah that after should be an adult? It may be contingent about Mahlokes. But I told the, one of the organizers that that Kaddish is not, uh, not-- shouldn't be given to an under Bar Mitzvah. It should be given to-- It should be said either by the balker or by someone who's over Bar Mitzvah. Let's move on. What do we have now about clearing up after the Kiddish. Um, so someone asked. Last week, we had this thing about the ladies' auxiliary. They want to tidy up after the Kiddish and wash the, uh, dishes because they are anti, uh, disposables. And so it's a whole avoda of washing the dishes and putting them in dry cleaning. Whether they could do that on Shabbos after the Kiddish. And we said that it doesn't seem to be okay. Actually, in shul here, I picked up a Sefer called Migdal Tzobim from Reb Gedalia or Rav Gedalia Akserot, the Rav in Haifa. And he had a similar shaila about a, a, a, a, there's a, a Shabbos afternoon club, Missiva Shabbos, and they use a classroom. They come to the classroom, and the chair is on top of the tables, as is very common in schools. At the end of the day, the children put the ta-- the chairs on top of the desks. Then the cleaner is able to clean the floor without any, uh... With less interference. So the kids come into the classroom, they take the chairs

49:55 off to sit down on them and to learn in this classroom. When they finish, can they put the chairs back on the tables to leave the room the way they left it? So Danny says that's okay because it's a, it's not a tircha d'lo yita. It's, uh, leave the room where you left it. Whereas what our problem, as we discussed last week, was much more washing up the dishes, et cetera, is much more of a job, uh, which I felt wouldn't be appropriate to be a Ada Shabbos. So then someone writes to me, "What if in his shul," uh, doesn't say where he is, it doesn't matter. Now they have a goy coming in the afternoon, and the goy is cleaning up after the kiddush, and he's washing the floor and he's vacuuming, et cetera. So is that the same thing? So my response to him, uh, without... There's no varim komus on this 'cause I didn't have a chance to look it up, uh, properly. But generally, with a goy, there is an approach that if you give the goy a job to do and he could do it b'derech heter, and he choose to do it b'derech issur, that's, that's okay. Now, generally, that's, uh... So here you tell the goy, "I need... By Sunday morning, I need this room cleared." And the goy says, "Why should I come at eleven o'clock at night? I could do it at four o'clock in the afternoon." So the fact the goy has chosen to tidy

51:22 up this place on Shabbos rather than after Shabbos is really the goy is doing it for their own convenience. That makes it easier. Um, the washing of the floor... Okay. So if you, if you needed it for Shabbos, that might be more of a question. But, uh, the washing of the floor is more of a melacha, bes a chashash melacha. Um, using a vacuum cleaner, I wouldn't think it's right to have the goy va- do the vacuum cleaner whilst, whilst people are present. It's, uh, chilul Hashem. Now, there's a difference also whether it's on premises, off premises. But with... When it's, when it's, when it's just a question of a hachana, not a question of melacha, one can be more meikel that the goy should be able to get on with it. As I say, they're doing it primarily for their own... They're doing it now to make life easier for themselves, not doing it for you. Our last thing which we have today is someone sent me the following. In the Sefer HaTeshuvah Mishneh Halachos, the second volume. So I have there, um, a question about at what age should we-- We, we know we don't, we don't, uh, listen-- Men shouldn't be listening to females singing. From what age is considered a female for singing, and they shouldn't be hearing their, their singing. So there are different opinions about this. And so I wrote here some say from three years old, some say from six, and some say from eleven. Up till eleven,

52:59 it's, it's allowed. So these are not Chabad poskim, these are general poskim. But the one who says the age of three is Rav Shlomo Zalman quoted. Okay. And then I have here a quote from the Likutey Sichos Chelek Yichus. And so this is what we're looking at. The li- line in Likutey Sichos Yichus says the following: According to Shulchan Aruch, from the age of three and up, the girl should be behaving in a tznius way, and how much more so if she's ten years old, et cetera. But not to be heavy-handed and to speak in a pleasant way. This is the lashon as it is in Likutey Sichos. Now, I've-- my, my last sentence after that is that the quote here in Likutey Sichos doesn't tell us what is the tznius issue which is being addressed here. Has it got to do with clothing? Has got to do with singing or something else? It's not clear. So now someone sent me this morning or yesterday that this, this li-- these few lines in the Likutey Sichos in the back. And the letters is from an answer to Rabbi Baumgarten, alav hashalom, was a very Hasidish Yid. He's... Many years, he was a shliach in Argentina. My impression is this is before he moved out to Argentina, and he had written to the Rebbe about his children who are in schools in Crown Heights, and is concerned about them learning Limudei Chayil. That's one thing. He says, "Whatever the Rebbe says," he said. Then he says

54:34 about the issue of getting-- of dressing. The Rebbe has, has said not to be heavy-handed on my daughters and not to behave like the Hungarisha. In other words, which for them is a very strong emphasis. If the Rebbe's guidance of be- to be, uh, softer rather than, than heavy-handed, does that still apply? Because Shulchan Aruch, he writes... This is Rabbi Baumgarten's wife. From the Shulchan Aruch, from three years old, she has to behave with tznius, and how much more so if she's ten, et cetera. And to this, the Rebbe answers, the Rebbe answers under his lines, the words, lo lechavid, not to be heavy-handed, and adai betoch choim edes, and those, that guidance still remains. And ledabir bedar kei noyom. So now let's go back to the previous slide. And this is where that lashon in Likutey Sichos is taken from the answer to Rabbi Baumgarten. So what's interesting is the opening part, that the Shulchan Aruch requires from the age of three upwards to behave in tznius. That was written actually by Rabbi Baumgarten in his letter. And the Rebbe looks like adopt, a-a-adopted this. It should become part of the Rebbe's message. That the... But this is severe... Well, just we, we... To, to, um, finish off. The... My question was, is this talking about singing, or is it talking about clothing? So from the background, we see that it's go- talking about clothing. And the Rebbe is saying from the age of three and onwards, it's the, uh, clothing It should be

56:19 with sneers, and that much more so if she's older. Again, that's also from Rabbi Bongart's words. And then the Rebbe said, "Lo loach mid oil," not to be heavy-handed. And the da, da, da, you saw what the, that it, it is indicating. Or the davim bedach anoyam, to speak in a pleasant way, and that's the way you'll get through your, your message in an effective way. That it should be, uh, if and only if it's kabov. So that's a bit of a birur. So it's very un- unusual that you have, uh, I don't know how actually. That they-- There's a letter of the Rebbe published in the Kotesiches. Half of that letter is actually the lotion of the shoyel. The, it was... It's, it's not s- it not so rare. You have also a similar letter about, um, mezuzah beheketsir by a side door. And the Rebbe says, the way it's written in the Kotesiches, "Gam be seche- be pesach sadadi nogea gefi heketsir." And that lotion is really not the Rebbe's lotion. It was written by someone, Rabbi Zalmanov, who wrote into the Rebbe, and the Rebbe responded like one or two words. And but that became a, a hero, taking the wording of the shoyel, and then the Rebbe's answer, putting it into one thing. And the letters in the back of the Kotesiches were all mugge. So therefore, it doesn't matter where it came from. The point of this is that the Rebbe released it under his name, that there should be

57:49 an engine of hanhoga from Gimmel Yayin, Yayin Echad. But as we know, that is talking about s- about clothing. And so when it comes to, uh, singing, then we have, as I said, we have various opinions of Shlomo Zalman says the age of three and others are a bit more lenient. Okay, that's what I have to share with you. And thank you for joining us. I wish you all a, a good Shabbos, and, uh, enjoy the rest of the summer. Uh, well, and, uh, the week here, it should be zecher to see Binyan Bayis HaShlishi. Mishpach, Mishpach Tzion, Meshiah Tzikeno, V'Tzichas Olam Al Roshim. Tod. Amen. Yachve koach.