חוקת–בלק תשפ״ג

00:08 Good evening. Welcome to today's tonight's Shiur. It's on Sunday of Parashat Chukas. Let's go straight into our questions, both one by one. Be'ezrat Hashem, interesting stuff. Question number one. So we have well-known Rashi in Chumash, which says that one should patronize a fellow Jew. So here we have the pasuk in Parashat Behar. "Vechi simkheru mimkor la amisecha." When you sell something to your friend, to your fellow, "o kono miyad amisecha," or if you purchase from your fellow, "al tonu ish es achiiso." You should not cheat, not overcharge, et cetera. Okay. So of course, the literal message of the pasuk is to be honest and not to overcharge or to underpay when you buy something. That's the din of oino, of causing pain to another person, in this case, through financial, uh, dishonesty. But then, since the Torah uses the words "kono miyad amisecha," so let's take a look in Rashi. "Vechi simkheru, lifshat kemashmoi," we have the literal meaning. "Ve'od yesh drasha." We have also a, a drasha, a further understanding, a deeper understanding or alternative understanding. "She'ata mokher," when you sell an article, "mecher l'Yisro el chavercha," sell it to a Jew who is your colleague. Sorry, I, I missed out a word. "M'ein," from where do we know that when you're selling something, you should sell it, give, in other words, give first refusal to a, to your fellow Jew. "Talmud lomar." This we have the pasuk. "Vechi simkheru mimkor la amisecha mecher." If you are selling something, give the priority "la amitecha,"

02:20 to your fellow, to a fellow Jew. "U'menain sheim basar liknus." When it comes, you want to buy something. "Kene miYisro chavercha." You have to buy the same goods. You can buy it from a Goy, buy it from a Yid. So then, how do you know that you should b-buy it from a Jew? "Talmud lomar: ko noi miyad amisecha." You should buy from your fellow Jew. All right, so we have here this idea that whether I'm selling or buying, if it's possible that, that-- if there is a, a choice between a Jewish client and a Jewish provider or an non-Jewish one, we should go for the Jewish client or the Jewish provider. This is the source of Rashi here. It's from what's called the Sifra. The Sifra is the Braisa, which is on Sefer Vayikra. So to, just to explain briefly what this means. In Gemara, we have very often, we have, we know the Mishnah, and then we have the Braisa, we have the Tosefta, which are like com-- um, parallel texts. So let's say you have Shabbos. You have twenty-four chapters in Mishnah Shabbos. And you've got, let's say some twenty, I don't remember exactly how many chapters in the Tosefta, and you read there texts which are similar or similar topics to the Mishnah, and they will be often quoted in the Gemara. Uh, and it's, it's another, uh, record of the same conversation, the same discussion, same halakha. But that's all in these topics. Like, in the Mishnah, it's set out in

03:57 topics. The six, um, sedarim of the Mishnah, and then we have each, each section, each masechta. So these are, these are in topics. Then we have a Braisa, which is like a companion to the Chumash. So i-instead of going in topics, it goes according to the order of the pesukim of the Torah. So we have it's primarily on Sefer Vayikra. We have what's called, it's called either called Sifra, which is short for Sifra DeBeMidbar. It's sometimes also referred to as Torah Litsiyon. So that's the Braisa on Sefer Vayikra. We have then on Sefer Bamidbar and Devarim. In, in Yiddish, it's called the Sifrei. The more correct pronunciation would be Sifrei, and the full word, te-term would be Sh-Sifrei DeBeMidbar or She'or Sifrei DeBeMidbar. That's the, that's the, the Braisa, which is a long, a companion to Bamidbar and Devarim. And then we have the Braisa, which is on Sefer Shemos. So that's called the Mechilta. These are the primary halakha Braisas. So we've got, um, we've got Braisas which are companions to the Mishnah, and then we've got C-C-Bra-Braisas which are companions to the Chumash. So this Rashi is actually quoting from the Sifra. Why am I telling this? That the Sifra is actually a halakhic source, which therefore begs the question, this idea that you should prioritize when you have an option to buy or sell and should, uh, do trade with a fellow Jew, why, whether it's not brought in Shulchan Aruch. So very strange. Not in Rambam, not in Shulchan Aruch. To

05:46 say that it was there, it was taken, left out because of, uh, worrying about, about it causing antisemitism, that's a, that's a possibility. It's a possibility, but it's, it is still remains strange. Rambam seems to be less affected by this concern. At any rate, it does be-beg the question, and how much? And then, m-more, this is really our discussion now. How much are you obliged to up, um, to pay more in order to, to have a Jewish, um, Jewish customer or, or the other way around. Or to s- to whether or to, to, to buy from a Jewish provider, how much... If the same product is available from a Jewish provider and from a non-Jewish provider, how much more are you expected to pay in order to go get the same product from a non-Jewish provider? That's really a question which we're deal-dealing with today. So the... As I said, not discussed in Shulchan Aruch. Rav Moore, Rav Moshe Isellus, who lived about 450 years ago, he wrote the, the tablecloth on the Shulchan Aruch, the Mapot. In other words, he, he filled in where Am Ha'aretz Ashkenaz is different to the Shulchan Aruch of the Rav Yosef Caro who was a Sephardi. So he, in his responsa, he talks about this, and he takes it a-as, uh, for sure that the m- the fact that it's gonna cost more, there's gonna be a, a... It shouldn't be, shouldn't be relevant. Because we see elsewhere, what should you do with an, uh, with the carcass

07:24 of an animal which died of natural causes? So it says about a Nevela. It says, um, "La'ger asher bish'arecha," uh, t-t-t, um, "tenenu oy mokher lenochri." Either give it to the ger. I think the ger, um, ger tosho, whatever it may be, or sell it to a nochri. So there's a preference to give it, to give it away to the ger rather than to sell it to the goi. Even though obviously, if you sell it to the goi, you're gonna make more money than if you give it away, and still the Torah expects you to prioritize this, giving it to the ger before selling it to the goi. So he's, the Ram- the Rama is saying the fact it's gonna cost more is, uh, is irrelevant. Well, it's gonna... However, others disagree with the Rama, and they say that in the context where it says that you have this carcass, and you should preferably give it to a ger rather than sell it to a goi. That would be talking about a ger who is eligible for tzedakah. And therefore, there's a mitzvah of tzedakah. Okay. So better to give it as tzedakah than to sell it to a goi for a profit. Okay. But what about when the Jew is not a, uh, not a tzedakah case? He's selling, he's selling furniture, and he's, Baruch Hashem, got a reasonable, good, a good parnassa. And you can buy the same furniture somewhere else for a, a much, for a significantly lo-lower price. So does that

08:53 din of that, that which Rashi says, you should buy mi yadecha misecha, does that also have to be, uh, to, to be ready to pay up, pay a higher, to be actually ready to pay a higher price? So this is the... The Rama, although he takes that view, others challenge him on that. And what you have in front of you, at the bottom of the page on the screen, is a quote from the Sefer Ahavas Chesed. So you know the Chafetz Chaim published Sefer Chafetz Chaim on Hilchos Lashon Hara. He published the Mishnah Berurah, but he also published several other seforim. One of the more well-known is the Sefer Ahavas Chesed, which is all about the laws of tzedakah. And so this comes in as a, a subsection within the Chafetz Chaim, within the Ahavas Chesed. So he talks about this, and this is in chapter Chelek Alef, Peh Kesef Zayin. And he says, we're talking about selling. Even if the Canaani is ready to pay more for that article which you're selling, nevertheless... And so now let's read it carefully. Even if the Canaani, which is a euphemism for any nochri, moes iv ma'at yotze lamcha. If he's ready to pay a little bit more for the... Let's say he's ready to pay £110 and the Jew is ready to pay £100. Af al ha-chochi mutar limkor l'Yisroel al pi chok. It's better sell it to £100 for the Jew than to £110. Look, I'm, I'm using this number as just a random example.

10:24 And the same thing when it comes to purchasing. Better you should purchase from a, the same article from a Jew, even though you'll have to add a little bit more. Okay. So we're... So the Machavetz Chaim has limited this mitzvah of being, of, of trading with a Jew rather than with someone else to, if it's gonna cost you, but only a ma'at yotzer, a little bit more. How to define a little bit, I'm sure that's gonna be very relative. And although one of the contemporary poskim talks about a difference of a sic, uh, that's all very well, uh, for a one-off purchase. And depending what it is, if it's purchase of a property, uh, for, for, uh, 500,000 or 600,000, it's just, it's a lot of money, uh, et cetera, or to, to sell it that, for that difference. Okay. So it's to say, if it's a, if, if it's in your perspective, if this is a small difference, then, then it's a mitzvah to sell, to, to, to, um, trade with a Yid rather than trading with, uh, someone else. Okay. Let's move on to the next question. And that is, this is a very, uh, very common. People have this minhag of not placing a bed with the feet to the door. And then people are asking sometimes, for whatever practical reasons, this seems to be the ideal position for the bed. But they... It is the feet facing the door. So I want to tell you, first of all- That this is

12:06 not written in any of the earliest form. This minhag of not having the feet of a bed facing the door is not mentioned in any earliest form. I did a search on the Otzar HaChochma. I came up with a couple of sources, very much contemporary sources. And this one is saying he's never heard of it from any of the poskim. He thinks it might be because of tznius. But then we have another sefer which says the following. The reason why there is this minhag of not sleeping with the feet towards the door is also a minhag not to walk around the house in socks. And the third thing is one doesn't pour backhanded. And the reason is because these are all like a reminder of way one treats a dead person, dead body. That when the person has died, it would be the practice would be to take the body and put it on the ground, on the floor. And also make the feet are facing the door. And my father, all of us, Shalom, was actually very fussy about us not walking around the house just in socks. We had a Yiddish word. The Yiddish word in English is borfis. Why are we going around borfis? Borfis is another word, barefooted. So he was very particular about that. And about the pouring. So if you pour backhanded rather than pouring forward. So then also that's one of the minhogim which are done when cleansing the body before burial. So apparently, I'm not personally involved

14:02 in this department. But apparently, this is one of the things that happens. In some places, they are in particular to pour backhandedly. And therefore, we are particular not to emulate those practices in our regular life. Not to kind of invoke. You have this idea, al yiftach piv le'satan. Do not open up the mouth for the satan. Oh, they're behaving like they're a dead person. As if to To quote, I think Rabbi Froggal would say, to anticipate is to precipitate. Okay. So, all right. So we avoid that. Coming back to the practical question. So if people ask, do ask. So to dismiss this minhag, I'm not ready to dismiss it. It's a minhag Yisrael. Even though it's not on the record in earlier sources. It is, in my mind, minhogim start off from the people and then they get into the books rather than the other way around. So people ask this question. I would say, do take heed of it. But let's say if you put something in the way. Could be a piece of furniture. Could be a board. Something. Put something as an interruption between your feet and the door. And that way you can be a bit more relaxed about this. Right. Let's move on to the next question. So here I was asked about having music in There are maybe like in events which are in camps or in schools. And unfortunately there are also amongst the children and maybe those who are in the year of aveilus, of mourning, have

15:49 lost a parent. And so the question is, are you allowed to have music in a camp when you're going to have some children who are in the year of aveilus? And it's I sometimes get the impression people think that it's an aveirah. It's like it's treif for them to have To hear music. It's not as rigid as that. Yes. So here you have a quote from the Sefer Nite Gavriel, a contemporary sefer, where he In his volume about aveilus. So he writes this. He lives in America. I've met him many times. He writes, those who are spending the summer in the bungalow colonies and Or in camps. And it's common that they have in the dining room, they have music playing. So they are also allowed to Those who are in the year of aveilus may also join the rest of the people, the kids for lunch. And even though there's music from a tape recorder, et cetera. He says, if there's a play or some kind of celebration, that's something they shouldn't join in. But otherwise, in other words, what he's basically saying is, if it's not They're not going to a celebration. They're going to participate just in a camp lunch, et cetera. And it happens to be there's some music in the background. That he's quite He says it's okay. You can ignore it. Now, let's take a look in his note. So the first thing he says, and that's, I think, a significant expression. Now, this he's saying is, he's heard

17:26 this from previous Rabbonim, from earlier generations, that the approach would be more tolerant than intolerant about such a thing. And he explains the reason he quotes Rabbi Moshe, which I did not look up, I'm sorry. He says the reason is because this is not a venue of celebration. It's not a venue of simcha. And therefore, the aveilim are not obliged to leave the space in the middle of the meal. And they're not It's not that they're playing the music. It's just happened to be in the dining room where there's some music in the background. Of course, they would not be allowed to join in dancing or something like that. But if there's background music, it could be on a school bus and a camp bus. So it's something which, which may be tolerated. Generally, I try to avoid, uh, dealing with any averailus on this program, but, um, occasionally something else, it's, it's just, I think, worth sharing. So I got a call last week about someone who his, his, uh, sibling of his had passed away, and therefore he was, until the burial, he's called an oinen. After the burial, he would be going into averailus. Now, there is a halacha that an aver, an aver in the week of shiva may not trade, may not have, may not have, may not do melacha as in parnassa, et cetera, of earning. And it goes even so far, as you can see here on the screen, we have from Yeridea, which is the laws of

19:11 averailus, towards the end of Yeridea, says the following, where you have two partners, and one of them became an aver, or chmon etzan, so then they'd have to close the shop. Even the other partner would not allow to be continued, uh, doing trade because the partnership, one of them is an aver, so the, the partners, the, the, the shop would have to close down for the week. Uh, it says you can do. The partner is allowed to continue doing trade discreetly at home, but not, not on, in, in a public eye. So there is this idea that they wouldn't be allowed to, um, business would not be allowed to continue. Despite that, what's very common is that the aver before, there's a moment of aninus, as I said, and then there's averailus. What's commonly done is, especially when there's a loss involved, that the, the aver or the oinen would, would, uh, sell his interest, could sell his ownership to someone else who's, um, not, not an aver. And it would then be public, put up a notice that due to bereavement, chmon etzan, the, this shop is now under new ownership, and it has the name of the new owner. And that would be also wherever, wherever there'll be a notice that that would be, someone else would own it for the week. And so this is what the Nite Gabriel writes. There are those who have the custom that the oinen would sell his shop or his business during the time of aninus.

20:55 In other words, before the burial, therefore before the averailus has, has, uh, be-begun, be-before accepting averailus. And so then that way they can, the business would be able to run. Of course, they wouldn't be in the business. It all would happen, um, without them being, being present. One should not allow this, only , only when there's a great need, and should ask a shailas, shailas chacham. So it should take rabbinic guidance, but I felt it was important that it should be, people should be aware of this. Number one, that there is an isur for the business to be, um, open business as usual, even if the aver won't be there. And the other thing, the other side of it, there is a solution of doing a formal, um, sale of the interest. And that way the business would be able to continue. Otherwise, if otherwise, there would be a significant loss. There is an excellent contemporary sefer on this whole area of averailus by, uh, written by a colleague of mine, uh, Rebbe Levi Yitzchak Garelik. And towards the beginning, it's called a madrich. And towards the beginning of the sefer, he has two, uh, draft contracts, one in Hebrew, one in English, which would be the, uh, a draft for drawing up an agreement for the sale of such an interest to solve, to avoid the problems of trading during the week of, uh, of, of Shiva Rachmana Litzen. Okay. Let's move on, on a more happy note. And that is, I was called

22:39 by a, a good friend of mine who is, uh, he has a grand, new grandson. Now, he has been sandek already once for one of these, these, the children, for one of these... In other words, this son has been a sandek for an older child. But now, his, his, my friend's father passed away recently, and he have, has every reason to believe that the newborn will be given his father's name. And so he was answering, asked me a question about whether it's appropriate for him to be sandek again. Now, let's just, let's discuss this. There is a, an ancient minhag, which is that one does not give the privilege of sandek to the same person twice, unless it's a rav in a city, but otherwise, they're not. And this is relating to the union of Ktoires. Now, the Ktoires in the Beis Hamikdash, the burning of the incense in the Beis Hamikdash, was a privilege. And it says in the Mishnah that they would make a lottery. They would cast lots, who is going to do, have the privilege of doing the Ktoires this day. And they would say the words, "Chadoshim leKtoires boyu v'chofisu." Whoever is new for Ktoires, come forward and join in the lottery. And so the Ktoires, the privilege of Ktoires, it's limited to Kohanim in any case, but amongst the Kohanim themselves, so the privilege of Ktoires was given to a person once in their life, so to speak. Of course, if there was no one else, they would do

24:32 it again. But otherwise, it was something, because it's seen as the Ktoires would be a, a, um, a form of bringing the bracha of wealth to a person. And this is based on a pasuk, "Borech Hashem chelo yassim uKtoires v'apercho." They will bring Ktoires, and therefore they will bring, they will borech Hashem chelo. Hashem will bless his, his, his interests, his wealth. And so they wanted to share this bracha to as many people as possible. And therefore, they would, the Ktoires, the privilege of Ktoires was always given to a new person. What's that got to do with a, with a, with a beris? Now, the, actually, the, uh, one of the earliest sources to this minhag of not giving sandek twice is in the Maharil, lived about six hundred years ago, possibly. And then the Noam Yehuda, one who lived about three hundred years ago, was a little bit dismissive to this, the, the severity of this minhag or the strictness of this minhag. And a, a couple of generations later, the Chasam Sofer rejects the Noam Yehuda, and he, uh, he upholds this minhag, and he explains what's the connection between k'tores and a bris. So think of korbonos being a sacrifice. So then if you th-- see as korbonos as sacrifice, so what can be a greater form of sacrifice when one takes the-- puts one own, o-one's own child at risk to have the bris? I mean, it's, it's, it is-- there is an element of risk there. Certainly, there's pain there.

26:14 And therefore, the aspect of sacrifice does fit to the idea of a bris. And so amongst korbonos, you've got various forms. And perhaps the purest form of korban would be the k'tores, whereas the other, the others is, uh, meat, uh, the fat. And k'tores is a more, uh, subtle form of, of sacrifice. At any rate, there is a connection between the k'tores and, and, and a bris milah. Because of this, there is this minhag of seeing that the bris is a form of sacrifice, and it's also the one who is instrumental in doing the bris would have a bracha of wealth. Therefore, it's the minhag to-- that one, one parent would give it-- not give the same person twice. Why a rov in a, in a city is different? Because the Kohen Gadol was able to do k'tores more than once. If he, if he, if he chose to do k'tores again and again, that would be okay. And therefore, a, a, a rov, a rebbe, whatever, would be honored to be sandek again and again. I think I once told this before that when Rav Choni Orozov, when his second child, I think, was born, second son was born, and so he didn't give the Fedik Rebbe to be sandek. So the Rebbe commented something to him. He says, "The thing, I'm not giving twice." So he says, "That's if, that's if the sandekos is a privilege for the sandek. But if the sandekos is a privilege for, for the child, then you can

27:58 give the same, the sandekos a second time to the same person." I, I've heard that in, in Ger, there's a-- every morning, there's a lineup o-of babies and the, the, the Ger Rebbe takes sandekos one after the other. I presume it's not only the first child, but over again and again. So that's the minhag yisrael to give a rov, uh, in a kehillah, a rebbe, to give sandekos more than once, but otherwise not. One more point about this before going further. The next question is that there is this minhag that we don't say Tachnun in-- when there's a bris. Now, there's two... and we also discussed this in the past. There's one f-- one aspect that if the mohel or the sandek or the avi haban are in shul, there's another aspect which is actually more basic, that the shul where the bris is gonna take place, so one doesn't say Tachnun. Even if none of the celebrants are there, but if this is going to be the-- this is the location where the bris is gonna be taken, uh, to, uh, be, be held presently, someone wouldn't say Tachnun that morning. So I remember reading an article from Rav Ashkenazi, alav hashalom, and he was, is taking this point that since the bris is like a form of k'tores, therefore the shul where the bris is gonna take place is like become today, become elevated like a Beis Hamikdash, where there's going to be the k'tores. And because of that privilege, that's why, uh,

29:31 Tachnun is not said. Let me just see. Someone's asking a question. "A father can act as sandek for his children. The restriction is for others." I'm not sure. What I got, I, uh-- I'd have to look, look that up. This is clear that he says, um, . So this, um, he says clearly that even a father for his own children, not in the Chasam Sofer. Now, he says this point quite clearly that he also shouldn't-- the father for his own children shouldn't, uh, be, uh, sandek twice. Mm-hmm. Right. This then-- Sorry. In the notes which I've sent around, there's a, there's a missing, missing reference here. It's still from last week's. Right. Um, I know that my, my mother, alav hashalom, was-- she was born in Leningrad, but her family came, came from a town called Karalevitz. They were-- The rov there, I think his name was Mendel Dabrawski. Uh, there were very few Hasidisha families there. And he didn't want to give-- As a rov, he didn't want to give sandekos to- One of the Baalabatim because then there will be jealousy. Why do you go here and not to him? So he took the Sandekos himself several times. And unfortunately, there were several, uh, uh, several children which he had, um, the, the children did not survive. And it was seen as you don't play around with this kind of stuff. And, uh, yeah. You have a sort of status always. Okay. Let's move on. Now, I want to go into a, shall

31:33 we say, a controversial topic. So do you say Tachnun on Gimmel Tammuz? Do you not say Tachnun? And of course, there are those who are so, um, pained by the Rebbe's passing, which I fully understand. Therefore, they say, "How can you see this as a day of celebration? How can you not say Tachnun on this day?" Which I fully understand. Um, and they ask, did-- was Gimmel Tammuz before, before Taf Shin Nun Dalet, was Gimmel Tammuz a day that people did not say Tachnun? And why all of sudden now you're going to say not saying Tachnun? Of course, the suspicion is you're doing it because you're thinking that there's reason to celebrate, whatever the, whatever those ways of thinking are. But I also just wanna share something I think very valuable. So this is from the Rebbe's Reshumas, and it was said by the f-- in other words, the Rebbe, as a young man, he was writing down things which he heard from his father-in-law, from the Friediker Rebbe. And this is on Tes Kislev in Taf Reit Sadey Gimmel, which would be nineteen thirty-two. So Tes Kislev is a yahrtzeit of the Miteler Rebbe. So now I'm going to read this from the text. So the Rebbe said, my father-in-law, the Rebbe said, "There is this inyan that Anash do say Tachnun on the yahrtzeit of the Rebbes. For example, Chaf Dalet Teves or Tes Kislev, which is the yahrtzeit of the Miteler Rebbe. Chaf Dalet Teves is, uh, Yas Altar Rebbe. Why is

33:16 this? Now, this is very different to most other Chasidishe groups. Most other Chasidishe groups will not say Tachnun on a day of a Rebbeshe yahrtzeit. And in Chabad, it is said on a Rebbeshe yahrtzeit. And the background for that is, «קי אומא האצם הצדיק דמל איז גוט צו בעטן». On a yahrtzeit, it's a good day, a good day to plead, to plead your case and to have, to have, to get forgiveness, et cetera. «א זא א ר מאן גייט אראין אפא גריסת סמחה דארף ער בעטן». And he's not denying that the yahrtzeit is a simcha. But if you are a poor man and there's a chasuna, so you go around and you ask for, for donations. You a-ask for, for, uh, «אידי א שנורביט. וואס מען גיט גיט מען. ד-ד-דארף ער בעטן». So there, there's an opportunity to ask because it's a simcha, therefore, there's an opportunity to ask. «וואס מען גיט גיט מען». Whatever y-y-you may be given, you're given in any case. Maybe some things are given in any case. «א באסט מען בעט גיט מען». But if you ask for, then you're gonna be given, and the Rebbe puts in, in, in brackets, «משמעותא יוסר הריביי». If you ask for-- So the, the merit of the day itself is a reason of, of, of abundance of goodness. The tzadik is, he's elevating, being elevated, and therefore he brings greater brocha. But if you ask for, then on this day, then you're given a great-- in a greater measure. So that's, that's the

34:51 vort of the Tzemach Tzedek. On this, the Friediker Rebbe added, «ניכר הוי אב אדמור זשמעו» it was evident by my father, the Rebbe Rashab, «שההוי נוייח לוי אם לא יהיו עוים עם טאכנון ביארצייט». He was actually pleased if there would be no Tachnun on the yahrtzeit. «וכמוי» like, like, just like in, like, Beimeit, it's the yahrtzeit of Reb Shimon Bar Yochai, and Tachnun isn't said. So when there would be some-- I-- Maybe it is the way I understand, that if there would be, let's say, a bris or a, a chasuna or something, there would be something-- there would be some side cause which would justify not saying Tachnun. So if that would coincide with the yahrtzeit, then the Rebbe Rashab was pleased. So despite the, the reservation of the Tzemach Tzedek, despite the Tzemach Tzedek saying that the yahrtzeit is, is an opportunity to ask for, and therefore you have to say Tachnun. And despite that, the Rebbe Rashab, when there was an, a, a, a side issue which caused not saying Tachnun, so he was actually pleased. So it's interesting you have the Me-- as I said, the Polish Yeminig is to skip Tachnun because it's a yahrtzeit, and that's why we do-- We, we also don't like Beimeit, we don't say Tachnun. Chabad, «בכלל» the yahrtzeit of a tzadik do say Tachnun. But if there is a side issue, and therefore we're not saying Tachnun, actually, it's not something to be frown-- to be frowning about, it's something to be pleased about. So

36:30 Gimmel Tammuz. So was Gimmel Tammuz a date of celebration before, before Taf Shin Nun Dalet? So it w-- I, I'm, I'm told, I'm, I'm not one of those who keep track of everything. I'm told that, that it-- by the Rebbe, by davening, if it was a Gimmel Tammuz, the Tachnun was said. Equally, I'm told, though, you know, the Rebbe would make a-- have a farbrengen on a, a regular basis on Shabbos Mevorchim. Other days, other Shabbosim during the month, if there was an extra cause for celebration, so then it would be a farbrengen. So what I'm told, again, I haven't checked the facts, but I'm, I'm told that when Gimmel, Gimmel Tammuz would be on a Shabbos, the Rebbe would farbreng. So I'm not saying it's top, top, you know, high- highest celebration in the Hasidic calendar, but it was a day of celebration. There's many sikkos, et cetera, um, saying, you know, the Gimmel Tammuz was when the Friediker Rebbe was commuted from a death sentence to, uh, to exile. So it was from, from So here I got the fol- a question last, this past week. There's a, a woman who needs a carer. She's... But she's, uh, as is very common, that, uh, they deny that they need a carer. They can manage without. If someone wants to come and help, okay, a volunteer, not gonna say no, but to start paying money, no, no, they're not ready to, to pay money for a carer. But the family feel that they, this

41:41 person does need a carer, and therefore they, they hire a carer. They hired a close friend, and they're paying this close friend of the, of the, of the mother. She's, and she's coming in very regularly, and they're paying her on the quiet. And the mother is very, very grateful. She's such a wonderful woman. She's my friend. She's just, she's so devoted. She comes in so regularly and makes the place so, so neat and prepares food, whatever. Very, very grateful. And now the carer is feeling very guilty because it's, uh, there's a, uh, how you say, uh, there's, there's, there's a, uh... It's not true. She's being, she's being given all these compliments, and, and it's deception. And so she's asking, "I know. I, I think I, we have to tell the, the, uh, patient. I have to tell her that, that it's not for free. She's-- actually, it's being paid for." So here's the question. Are you allowed to ke- keep to an untruth, an untruthful story in order to benefit someone's welfare? Before reading the text inside, I just want to share with you, um, a very well-known Lubavitch. The Rebbe had a brother who lived in Liverpool for a little while. He lived in Tel Aviv, but he came for some kind of exchange. He was a professor. And then he died Quite suddenly, I believe, at a early age. He was about fifty-two or something, or less. And the Rebbe's mother, after all she had lived through, now was in America, in

43:24 New York. And the brother, uh, Rebbe's brother, Leibel, he would write to his mother regularly. And the Rebbe was... At first, he actually, he was-- Rebbe was planning to come to England for her teshuva, for the levaya. And then he made the decision not to travel because he didn't want his mother to discover that her son had died. Uh, and therefore, the Rebbe stayed in New York and did all the arrangements remotely. And, uh, as we know, the Rebbe even went to go, would go every day to his mother d-during the shiva, and he took his slip, his, his, uh, plimsolls, whatever, and painted them black, so she shouldn't, she shouldn't notice that he's wearing-- that he's not wearing regular shoes. And then the Rebbe would write letters. Very simple letters. How you doing? Whatever. The weather. Whatever maybe. He would send letters. He copied his brother's handwriting. He'd send the letters to England, and then someone in England would send them back to the Rebbe's mother on, uh, President Street as, as if the letter is coming from her son. Until the end of that-- And that went on for about thirteen years, approximately. She passed away chof hei. So twelve years, whatever. So he kept up, the Rebbe kept up a deception so that she, uh, should never be told. Perhaps she did suspect, but meanwhile, perhaps she was, she was a very wise woman. Perhaps she did know, and she just played along. But meanwhile, um, I know that one of the

44:58 Hasidim once came into the Rebbe and he was asking, the Rebbe was asking about when his father had passed away. And the Hasid mentioned it. I mean, he asked the Rebbe since she was there. And he said he never wanted to ask her because it-- by, by her bringing it up would be painful for her. So he never spoke to his mother about his father's passing. So let's come back. Well, that's, that's a different story. But here we're talking about whether you can be untruthful in order to protect someone's welfare. So here we have, uh, I was, I was very exactly pleased to find a specialist Sefer. As you know, I love these spe-specialists for him. A specialist Sefer about telling lies or not telling lies. So the Sefer by someone called Nachum Jabrov, which he's got many other very good Seforim called Divrei Sofrim, but this one is called Niv Sefer Soim, Hilchos Isur Sheker. A whole Sefer devoted to whether, wh-wh-which lies are allowed, which aren't allowed, et cetera. So we have a Gemara, Shabbos Daf Kuf Chof Tes. And it says, Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak said to his Talmid, to the Rabbon, "V'bimtu tzo minaichu, I plead with you, v'yom medah akazo, on the day where you have had bloodletting." Now, in, in, um, times bygone, the times of Gemara, it was a very common thing to have a bloodletting, and it was seen as health, uh, healthy. At the same time, it would be a day that you needed to have

46:30 a boost of more energy, better food to, to, uh, replenish the lost, the lost, uh, blood, et cetera. "So please," he says, "when you-- on the day which you've had a bloodletting, imru levataichu, tell your wives, Nachman iklu legabon. Tell them that Nachman, as himself, the Rosh Yeshiva, is gonna come, and that they should make a bigger feast as if I'm coming to, to, to, to have, uh, lunch with you." So he was telling them to tell, to tell, as we say in English, fibs. They, they're gonna, they're gonna have a Rosh Yeshiva guest. And then the wife would make a bigger feast. Now, in the Sefer, Orach Mishorim, I'm not familiar with the Sefer, he says that the da-- the n-need for a meal on the day of bloodletting is a f-little bit of a pikuach nefesh. And therefore, it was li-- it was permitted for the Talmidim to say something which was untrue because it was vital that they should have this extra boost at the meal for their, for their, uh, welfare. And then he writes, "Ve'emes, even without pikuach nefesh, if it's just an illness also, it's permitted to, l'shano es havshvil tach, to, to distort the facts a little bit would be permitted." And certainly, in this case, coming back to our question, to say that the wom-woman is a volunteer, to say that, uh, she's not, you know, it's, it's... Yes, she volunteered to be, to be a, to be a paid worker. That's okay. That's also a form

48:07 of volunteering. However you're gonna play it, but it-it's, it's vital for this patient, for the mother's welfare, that she should not know that she's being-- that the help is being paid for, and therefore, it's justified in order to protect her, her, uh, her welfare, that one doesn't say the full truth. Let's move on. I don't know why this question came, but it's-- it came. We should discuss it. And that is, uh, when there's a wedding of a boy who's never been married before and a girl who's a basulah, so then there's seven days of celebration. When is-- And then, then, then you have, let's say, the wedding was on a Monday afternoon. So then the Sunday, the following Sunday, will be the last of the seven days of celebration. Let's say the meal started, like now it's Sunday, now it's 10:00 tonight. Let's say the meal started now, and the meal continues into, at 10:00, 10:15. Are you allowed to... Or even, uh, even until 9:30, would you be allowed to say Sheva Berachos for the meal which started within the seven days, but it finished after the seven days a-a-a-are finished? Now, we know that Shalashudis, which overflows into night, we'd say, if the Purim fe-feast starts in the afternoon, and then it goes into after nightfall, we'll say Al Hanissim. So in many areas, we would say since the beginning of the meal was in the time where this component of bentching was warranted, then it will also be included in the bentching,

49:57 even though that is after that time has, has, has finished. Notwithstanding that, here you have on the screen from the Shaarei Teshuvah on Siman Kuf Peh Ches. So Kuf Peh Ches is the Dinim of bentching. Now, Shaarei Teshuvah is one of those, uh, uh, the commentaries on the margins of the She'eilat and also in the Mishnah Brurah, and he writes the following: "Bekosa deginas veradim," which is a saying, I believe, from the, uh, Primordium, that even according to the poskim who say that you'd, you'd, uh, you'd include in benching according to when the meal began. That is true for hazkara, as in, let's say, as in Ya'ale veyo'ezer, as in Al HaNissim. So if the, if the beginning of the meal was when those, um, items were warranted, so then you'd include them in benching later. Um, perhaps we've discussed this before. If there's a chasuna, let's say, on Rosh Chodesh, and the middle-- and then it finishes pa- on Motzei Rosh Chodesh. So then you'd say Ya'ale veyo'ezer in benching. But if in middle of the chasuna you go out and daven Ma'ariv, so then once you daven Ma'ariv without Ya'ale veyo'ezer, then you've cut off the flow, and you wouldn't be able to say Ya'ale veyo'ezer in benching. Any rate, "avo b'sheva berachos," the chosun, "shenim sh'chasudas yom shvi ad leil shmini," but on the-- if it's the seventh day, the m- feast on the seventh day overflew, overflowed, sorry, into the eve of the eighth day, "vadai ein l'vorach sheva berachos." One

51:43 should not say Sheva Berachos, and he gives a reference, look up the "Ginas Veradim" and also "Birkei Yosef." So that's for sure that we don't, um-- we would not say Sheva Berachos after shkiya because already then it's like sephirak already of the next day. So again, if a meal was started today being the seventh day, if a meal began now and it came half past nine, it's already after shkiya, we would not say Sheva Berachos. So we'd make sure to bench before shkiya and be able to say Sheva Berachos before shkiya. I just want to share with you something which I found quite remarkable. I was in Eretz Yisrael a couple of weeks ago for a wedding. A cousin made a wedding, and I saw something that... They had dancing before the chosun and kallah came in, and then a particular moment, the, the orchestra stopped playing mu- music, and they made a hefsek for Ma'ariv. And everyone davened in the whole, the whole hall. They-- There was no, no dancing, no serving. Everyone stopped and davened Ma'ariv, and, and then the chasuna continued afterwards. A very beautiful chasuna. I was very impressed with that. Instead of, you know, making all these huddles in the corridors, et cetera, a- a- all the men have to daven Ma'ariv. So then what's-- why, why shouldn't it be a logical thing at a particular point? Uh, when the caterer-- a- agree with the caterer and work it out, but put it on the, on the, on the program.

53:03 If it's such a time where you start with a meal at day and you finish off at night, so then, uh, m- make a stop for ten minutes, daven Ma'ariv, and then continue enjoying the chasuna. I found that a, a fresh idea. I thought it's worth sharing. Um, I'm gonna finish off, and there's no, no references on the screen here. And that was that someone asked me that they noticed that last week in Manchester, Motza'i Shabbos on the calendars was ten fifty-nine, and chabad.org had eleven oh four. Give or take, whatever it is. So he's asking, uh, do we have to... Is-- Do we have to wait for the Chabad time, or can we finish off Shabbos with the earlier time? So I want-- I was a lit-- I was involved with the, with the, uh, timing aspect of chabad.org, and therefore I want to explain what's going on here. According to the Alter Rebbe, s- this, uh, when-- once the sun has gone down approximately six degrees beneath the horizon, that is already con- what's called tzet hakochavim. Already three stars are visible, and it's called night. There is something. That's gimel kochavim beinim. Three average stars are visible at that point. There's something which, for some things, we wait for kochavim k'tanim, which means that smaller stars, there'd have to be a greater degree of darkness to be able to see smaller stars. And that's a few minutes later. For Motza'i Shabbos, we go even further, and we wait for gimel kochavim r'tzufim,

54:48 three stars which are near one another. I remember about thirty-five, thirty years ago, more, thirty-five years ago, perhaps, you know, approximately, whatever. I was, I was in France. This was before you had everything online. I'd worked out-- We were in a place called Briançon, just on the border of Italy. And I'd worked out the moment of the, the minute for Motza'i Tisha B'Av. And I called over a couple of people. We were standing on the porch. I say, "At nine twenty-nine, we'll be able to see three stars." At nine twenty-eight, we couldn't. Nine twenty-nine, you could see there and there and there, in three different parts of the sky, you could see three stars. And, um, so that was the end of the fast. So that's, that's three, three average stars, and they are scattered. For Motza'i Shabbos, you have to wait until the r'tzufim, the three stars are near one another, and that's obviously waiting for a greater de- degree of darkness. And that's related to the idea of what's called Tosfet Shabbos, that at the end of Shabbos, we add a little bit of the weekday to be annexed to the Shabbos, to add kedushah, the overflow of the kedushah of Shabbos into the weekday. Okay. How long? Now, then there was a- There was a, uh, Talmid Chacham in-- lived in Jerusalem, the name of Rachel Micho-Micho Tuchatsinsky. And he introduced something which doesn't have a very strong back-background, uh, basis. But he introduced a degree of eight and a half degrees.

56:15 Now, eight and a half de-degrees, that's considered nach from Motza'i Shabbos, et cetera. So, in, in London and I think in most, uh, Frum communities, Motza'i Shabbos is taken at eight and a half degrees. Eight and a half degrees is actually... That's the-- And, and when, when Chabad.org are, are posting times, so the default position. So, you have got the time what's called Tzes HaKochavim, which would have been, let's say, even ten to ten, a quarter to ten. But the posi- the time for Motza'i Shabbos-- No, sorry, no. That's much, much too early. Uh, I'm talking about Manchester. Uh, at any rate, but they, they, they-- there's a time for Motza'i Shabbos. For, for, for, for Ma'ariv, for Tzes HaKochavim, considered laylo. And then the time for Motza'i Shabbos, so the Chaba-Chabad.org would normally display the times of eight point five, eight and a half degrees. It looks like in Manchester, the eight and a half degrees is, is, I mean, finish on Shabbos at, at ten past eleven or five past eleven is a, you all sense, a very late time. And possibly, and I was told that they u- they're using eight degrees rather than eight and a half degrees, and therefore they were, um, they had Motza'i Shabbos, as I say, five to eleven. What I want to say is that the eight and a half degrees is not a Lubavitch Minae. It's not a-- Sorry, it's not a Lubavitch Chumra. It's Lubavitch kind of, uh, respecting the general local Heimish Minae

57:45 of waiting for eight and a half degrees. In some places, as in it looks like here in Manchester, because of the extreme, possibly, um, uh, in the height of summer, because of the extremely late time of which eight and a half degrees results, they have decided, I think, with, uh, with wisdom to make the end of Shabbos that little bit earlier, and, uh, that's perfectly okay to go along with it. Okay. I hope that has been, uh, informative. I wish you all a good evening. And I think next week I'm going to have to pre-record this year because I'm, um, I'll be involved in some event which is on Sunday evening, uh, in Agudas Achim. So, be well, and we should, we should meet in good health. Simchas Olam Al Avraham.