The Rabbi Who Would Give Anything to a Fellow Jew — Even a Kidney: Rabbi Aizik Baumgarten & Terri Davgin

00:00 Speaker 1 Terry was slowing down, and I was having an emotional tough time. I felt, you know, I was gonna lose her.

00:08 Speaker 2 That's Richard Davgin. In the summer of 2022, his wife Terry was down to about 5% kidney function. She desperately needed a transplant.

00:19 Speaker 3 And I was very frightened.

00:22 Speaker 2 Terry's doctors wanted her to go on dialysis immediately, but Terry and Richard were praying for a donor as soon as possible. Then Terry received a phone call.

00:34 Speaker 1 And she calls me over and says, "We have a donor."

00:38 Speaker 2 As the Davgins would later learn, the timing of the donation was only part of the miracle. The other part had to do with the donor himself.

00:49 Speaker 3 I was mind-blown when I found out that it was somebody I knew, that it was somebody I had contact with all the time, who I already cared about and respected. It was quite a moment.

01:07 Speaker 2 I'm Gary Wolak, and this is Lamplighters, stories from Chabad emissaries on the Jewish frontier. Life as a Chabad emissary is often joyous, but it can be unpredictable and even dangerous. Chabad has become a ubiquitous presence in every corner of the world, but behind every Chabad house are emissaries, regular people striving to transcend their circumstances and a community that supports and relies on them. These are their stories. Here's a great opportunity for you. You rely on the Lamplighters podcast to bring you inspiring stories of Chabad emissaries all over the world. Now you can help keep our series going strong. To dedicate an episode, please email us at podcast@lubavitch.com to explore dedication opportunities. That's podcast@lubavitch.com. To subscribe digitally to Lubavitch International Magazine or to receive it at your doorstep, please visit lubavitch.com/subscribe.

02:27 Speaker 4 Growing up in a Chabad house, that's the only life you know.

02:31 Speaker 2 That's Rabbi Isaac Baumgarten, co-director of Chabad of Montauk and assistant rabbi at Chabad of the Hamptons.

02:39 Speaker 4 So you knew that your house was the place for other people to come and join you, people coming constantly to your home, and that's the way it was.

02:50 Speaker 2 Rabbi Leibel and Rebbetzin Goldie Baumgarten have been shluchim to Long Island since 1983, along with Isaac and his 11 siblings. So Isaac understood the concept of what it means to help another Jew. That only intensified when he went off to yeshiva in Crown Heights, Brunoy, France, and Kharkov, Ukraine, where he also did a year of outreach and earned smicha. But when it came to his own plans for shlichus, Baumgarten says he didn't think it would be on Long Island.

03:22 Speaker 4 But Hashem had other plans.

03:27 Speaker 2 Musia Baumgarten is co-director of Chabad of Montauk and program director for Chabad of the Hamptons. Musia says her parents, though not official Chabad emissaries, are shluchim nonetheless.

03:40 Speaker 5 I grew up in Crown Heights. I'm one of six, and my parents are very active members of the community. My father's in business. We'd always bring guests home, employees or people that he met over the years for Shabbos, for Yom Tov, different things.

03:58 Speaker 2 Musia went halfway around the world to attend Ohel Chana Seminary in Melbourne, Australia. She considered shlichus to be the ideal. Musia and Isaac returned to the US and met in late 2011. They dated and discussed the possibility of shlichus. They were married in March 2012. They lived in Crown Heights, where Isaac was teaching in yeshiva and in kollel. They were considering the staggering possibilities of going anywhere in the world, but-

04:31 Speaker 5 That summer, my in-laws asked us if we would come to East Hampton and help them out.

04:36 Speaker 4 They said, "If you're looking for shlichus, we're looking to hire. Would you come join our team in, uh, East Hampton?" And the way that the Hamptons in general and East Hampton is that it's busier in the summer. So we had agreed to go that summer just to check it out.

04:51 Speaker 5 And so we did that, and then after the summer they asked if we would continue helping out throughout the year, come for holidays and things like that, and then came for the next summer. And after that summer they said, "Would you stay on, make this full-time?" And that was it. It was sort of just a natural progression. It made sense.

05:11 Speaker 2 Musia and Isaac moved to East Hampton in November of 2013. Their work was not unusual at the outset. Isaac went door to door looking for mitzvah opportunities, and they planned social events and summer and holiday programming. But new opportunities arose. The young couple had developed a real feel for seasonal outreach. That led to the next phase of their work in 2017.

05:42 Speaker 5 We'd get a lot of calls from people visiting or staying in Montauk. "I'll be in Montauk. Is there Chabad? Chabad should come. There are so many Jews here. You guys have to come to Montauk. You have to come to Montauk."

05:52 Speaker 4 We had a family, a woman and her kids, who had rented a house in Montauk And she came up with the idea of doing Shabbat in Montauk.

06:01 Speaker 5 And so we did a pop-up Chabad one Shabbos.

06:06 Speaker 4 We went to her house. We moved in there. We koshered her kitchen, and, uh, we invited everyone we knew from Montauk to come spend Shabbos, Friday night and Shabbos day, at her house.

06:16 Speaker 2 Word must have gotten around, because later that year, requests began coming in for a more permanent Chabad presence in Montauk.

06:26 Speaker 4 And gave us, like, the push. 2018, we went out there for the full summer. We rented a house for three months, from Memorial Day to Labor Day, and we've been going back every summer since.

06:38 Speaker 2 The Baumgartens learned how special their seasonal community was and what attracted them to Montauk in the first place.

06:46 Speaker 5 It's absolutely beautiful. It has real beach town vibes. It's a very laid-back, happy place. It really has that, like, small-town, cozy, quaint energy to it.

06:59 Speaker 4 We have surfers and fishermen, then you have all the partygoers.

07:02 Speaker 5 You know, they come into my house, they take off their shoes, and they're walking barefoot, and everyone's like, "Why isn't the guy wearing shoes?" Like, it's just how it goes here.

07:11 Speaker 2 Musia says that Montauk, even with its characters and wild beauty, has certain challenges.

07:17 Speaker 5 Most of the people, they're coming to Montauk for two months of the year. So when it comes to building community, when it comes to fundraising, their allegiance is really elsewhere.

07:28 Speaker 2 And even though the Baumgartens began doing outreach in Montauk eight years ago, it's only been for two or three months a year, so the Baumgartens had to pack a lot of Yiddishkeit into each summer, and they've seen good results.

07:41 Speaker 5 The community has grown, and not just that it's grown, I think people coming are building connections with each other. So we constantly have to remind ourselves of that, "Look at what we've done in 16 months. This is great progress. This is great growth for our community."

07:56 Speaker 2 From September through May, Isaac and Musia work in East Hampton alongside senior shluchim Leibel and Goldie Baumgarten.

08:04 Speaker 4 So I do a lot of one-on-one learning with people. There's a men's class and a women's class, Torah and tea. Our Hebrew school, you know, finding those new Jews that are coming in, finding a way to connect to them. I do my best to bring people to the Ohel. Tomorrow I'm going with someone to the Ohel, for instance. And it's more about the one-on-one relationships that I try to build in this time of year, in the winter.

08:23 Speaker 2 One of those contains within it a story of incredible love and self-sacrifice.

08:31 Speaker 3 I'm retired, and I've been retired for about 20 years.

08:35 Speaker 2 That's Terri Davigan, who taught in New York public schools for over three decades. She lives in East Hampton with her husband, Richard, or Richie, as she affectionately calls him. About 10 years ago, the Davigans began attending Chabad of the Hamptons.

08:54 Speaker 1 Well, it all started with my granddaughter beginning to study for her bat mitzvah, and I was gonna feel bad if my granddaughter were to ask me, "Papi, you know, can you help me with this word?"

09:06 Speaker 2 Richard says none of the nearby synagogues offered adult classes of any kind, but then a friend told him...

09:14 Speaker 1 "Come with me to the Chabad."

09:16 Speaker 2 Richard was hesitant at first. Although he had come from an observant home, he had drifted into what he calls a more secular lifestyle. Terri says there was no education for girls when she was younger, but neither had known about Chabad's welcoming, non-judgmental approach until Richard agreed to go with his friend to a prayer service at Chabad of the Hamptons, run by Leibel and Goldie Baumgarten.

09:42 Speaker 1 After services, Rabbi Baumgarten approaches me, introduces himself to me, and I said to him, "Does the Chabad offer Hebrew classes?" And he said, "No, but I'll teach you." I said, "You'll teach me?" He said, "Yeah, we'll make a time and a day. You'll come. We'll sit down. I'll teach you."

10:05 Speaker 2 The following Monday morning, Richard went to the Baumgartens' home.

10:09 Speaker 1 And we're gonna start Aleph Bet after I sit down. Goldie comes over with a plate of cookies and a cup of tea. Uh-

10:19 Speaker 2 Of course.

10:21 Speaker 1 I'm hooked. And so for about a half-hour, the rabbi and I are working with this children's book, and he says, "Okay, go home, practice this. Come back next week." And I said, "Okay," but I said, "Rabbi, what do I owe you for teaching me this?" And he says, "No, you don't owe me anything." I said, "I don't owe you anything?" He says, "No."

10:46 Speaker 2 After a few weeks, Richard was reading Hebrew, and he was able to help his granddaughter read as well.

10:52 Speaker 1 And that's how we started.

10:54 Speaker 2 Richard and Terri began attending classes and events, including Shabbos dinners by the Baumgartens, and they felt totally at home.

11:03 Speaker 3 No judgments. I never felt any judgment on anything I was ever doing or the way I was living my life, so I, I felt comfortable.

11:14 Speaker 2 And the Davigans got to know Isaac and Musia as well. Their friendship grew.

11:19 Speaker 5 They're so warm. Richard is the kind of guy who, like, helps with anything.

11:24 Speaker 4 He's handy, so he's always coming over and helping if there's anything that needs to be fixed. You know, he's ready to come with his toolbox and help. Terri is, she's always, like, the life of the party when they come together to an event. The sweetest people, really the sweetest people. Yeah.

11:38 Speaker 2 But even the sweetest people sometimes face bitter challenges. Not long after the Davigans connected with the Chabad community in the Hamptons, Terri was handed a grim diagnosis. Her kidneys were failing.

11:55 Speaker 3 And found out very shockingly- That I needed a kidney transplant as soon as I could get it.

12:04 Speaker 2 Richard told Rabbi Leibel about Terri's situation. He had a one-word response

12:09 Speaker 1 "Pray." And I said, "Okay, you got it." Considering that there are 100,000 people waiting for kidneys, it's something to pray for.

12:23 Speaker 2 One evening at a Shabbat dinner with the Baumgartens, the Davgins met a person seated at their table who also needed a transplant.

12:31 Speaker 3 And that's how we found out about Renewal.

12:35 Speaker 2 Renewal is a Brooklyn-based nonprofit that facilitates kidney transplants for people suffering from chronic kidney disease, and offers support services before, during, and after surgery. With the help of Renewal and the family member who donated her kidney, Terri's life was saved. There were some rejection issues

12:57 Speaker 1 But she was alive.

13:00 Speaker 2 That might have been the end of the story, but just six years after Terri's transplant, her kidney again began to fail, rapidly. Doctors prepared her for the strong possibility that she'd require dialysis. Though dialysis is a life-saving measure, survival rate drops off precipitously from 80% to less than 30% after the first five years, and donor matches often take longer than that. So the Davgins knew that there was no time to waste. They again reached out to Renewal. This time, although the Davgins didn't know it, Leibel and Goldie Baumgarten had also reached out to Renewal, which urged the Baumgartens to host a community cheek swab test event to find a match for Terri. In the summer of 2022, they did that.

13:53 Speaker 4 We did it at one of our community barbecues. We had a big table there, and everyone in the community can come to help Mrs. Davgin by swabbing to see if you're a match to potentially be a donor.

14:02 Speaker 2 Isaac and Musia Baumgarten, along with their parents Leibel and Goldie, and many from the local community, swabbed their cheeks and sent in the samples. In March, Isaac received a phone call.

14:15 Speaker 4 "Hi, this is Presbyterian Hospital. Your swab came up as a match for Terri Davgin. Are you still interested in, uh, donating a kidney to her to save her life?" And I'm like, "Yes, absolutely. No question." It was very exciting. I remember saying, "Oh, finally I can do something tangible. Not just talk about it, but actually do something. This is exactly what I need to do and what I wanted to do."

14:37 Speaker 2 Rabbi Leibel and one community member were also matches, but more tests were needed to identify the best possible donor. Blood tests to assess kidney function and screen for transmissible diseases, urinalyses, EKGs to check heart function, chest X-rays, and CT scans of kidneys to determine their size and health. Meanwhile, the Davgins had no idea there had been matches. The screening process ruled out Rabbi Leibel and the unnamed community member, but Isaac spent long days in the hospital undergoing further tests while Terri and Richard dealt with the effects of Terri's failing kidney. A healthy kidney operates above 90% eGFR, or estimated glomerular filtration rate. Terri's should have been operating at about 65%.

15:33 Speaker 3 And I barely was functioning every day. I was not doing physically well at all at that time. I was very frightened.

15:45 Speaker 1 Terri was, uh, slowing down, and I mean, she got to the point where it was, uh, 5%, and I was having an emotional tough time. I felt, you know, I was gonna lose her.

15:58 Speaker 2 Terri's doctors were adamant that she start dialysis, but she was hesitant. As she and Richard had learned, its effectiveness is limited.

16:08 Speaker 3 I was adamant about the fact that I did not wanna go on dialysis, to the point where the doctors themselves were calling me and saying, "Terri, it's time. You've gotta do this." And in the back of my mind, I just kept on saying to myself that I was gonna get a donor.

16:34 Speaker 2 But on a Friday morning in early April 2023, Terri Davgin gave in. Richard called the nearest dialysis center and made an appointment for the next Monday.

16:45 Speaker 3 I had to not die. I had to save my life.

16:49 Speaker 2 And then, just one day before Terri's first dialysis session, amazing news.

16:55 Speaker 1 It's a Sunday. Terri is sitting on the sofa downstairs. The phone rings. She answers it, and they tell her that they have a kidney, and she calls me over and says, "We have a donor. Renewal called and said, 'We have a kidney for you.'" And we just grabbed each other and hugged. I mean, the next day we were gonna start dialysis, and we just held onto each other.

17:29 Speaker 3 And of course, I canceled the appointment on Monday.

17:33 Speaker 2 The Davgins began preparations for Terri's second transplant in seven years, and then they learned something even more amazing. The kidney would come from their friend, Rabbi Isaac Baumgarten.

17:47 Speaker 3 I was mind-blown when I found out that it was Isaac, that it was somebody I knew, that it was a family I knew, that it was somebody I had contact with all the time, who I already cared about and respected. That it was coming from Isaac. It was quite a moment.

18:10 Speaker 2 Before the surgery, the Davgins saw Isaac and Musia at a Shabbat dinner. They were ready to express their profound gratitude, but-

18:19 Speaker 1 We walked in and Musia calls me over and says, "Richard, I want you to understand, you do not owe us anything." And I said, "Musia, you're saving Terry's life. I owe you everything, and I will always owe you everything."

18:40 Speaker 2 On May 23rd, 2023, the Davgins and Isaac and Musia Baumgarten convened in a New York Presbyterian Hospital room before the surgery. They took a photo together. Each one of them beamed.

18:55 Speaker 4 It's like, "Wow, here it is." I put tefillin with Mr. Davgin in the hospital, in our hospital gowns, and, uh, we did a little prayer and study together, and it was emotional, but it was joyous, I think. I was definitely very, very happy.

19:10 Speaker 2 In that photo, Terry also appears happy, although there were obvious signs that her kidney was almost spent. Her complexion was a pale yellow, and her face was gaunt. Terry and Isaac were wheeled into adjacent rooms, and the transplant was underway.

19:29 Speaker 3 The surgery went very well for me, thank God. I was out of the anesthesia, and I woke up, and I was alive. I felt great afterwards.

19:44 Speaker 1 I saw her in the ICU recovery room. She was coming around, and she had color, and she was looking good and talking.

19:54 Speaker 2 Her first question was about how Isaac was doing. Isaac's was about how Terry was doing.

20:00 Speaker 4 "How's the recipient? How's the recipient?" I remember asking that right away, and asking one of the nurses, "When am I able to go visit Terry?"

20:08 Speaker 1 I think it was the next day he came in a wheelchair to visit Terry.

20:13 Speaker 4 Which was very, very nice. She was so happy. She says, "I already feel better." That was like the culmination. Okay, you know, it worked.

20:20 Speaker 2 Terry left the hospital after three days. Isaac left after two. Now it was time to think about their recovery. For Isaac, priority number one was getting home before the holiday of Shavuot and to see his family.

20:34 Speaker 4 I came home on Erev Shavuot. I came right to the Chabad house here. Yeah.

20:38 Speaker 2 Typically, kidney transplant surgery is harder on the donor than it is on the recipient. When the painkillers wore off, Isaac was out of sorts. He was told not to drive or lift things during his six-week recovery. That meant a lot of work, along with taking care of the children, would fall to Musia.

20:59 Speaker 5 I had some hard days in the beginning when I just felt totally unprepared and taken by surprise as to what recovery from surgery looks like, at least what it looked like for Isaac. Isaac is a super hands-on partner, and he does a tremendous amount around the house, and in helping with the kids, and the drive to school, and so I was solo parenting. That first week was very hard for me. Very, very hard for me.

21:27 Speaker 2 But everyone rallied to help. Renewal provided two weeks of meals and transportation for the kids. Richard rounded up a group of friends, rented a truck, and moved everything Isaac and Musia needed to Montauk for their summer stay, which was to begin exactly at the end of Isaac's six-week recovery. And the extended family helped wherever needed.

21:50 Speaker 1 Goldie stepped right in and helped, and all of Isaac's sisters, same thing. Those women are phenomenal. Phenomenal. Brothers, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, we're all a family.

22:04 Speaker 2 But mostly, Isaac says the transplant would not have been possible without his wife and partner in Jewish outreach, Musia.

22:12 Speaker 4 Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, she had to be there for the kids while I was out for six weeks. She did that solo.

22:20 Speaker 5 So it was about two weeks that Isaac was not really doing anything other than recovering from surgery.

22:25 Speaker 4 I can't say it wasn't painful. There was a lot of pain, especially sitting up and getting off the bed and on the bed. Just to put your socks on is a whole, uh, thing. But I would do it all over again if I had the opportunity.

22:35 Speaker 5 And then after that two weeks, every day you saw improvement.

22:38 Speaker 4 You're definitely much, much, much better, but by six weeks you're 99, 100% back to yourself.

22:45 Speaker 5 And the six-week mark was moving to Montauk, literally six weeks. And at the end of the school year, actually, my kids, they wrote poems about their parents, and each of my kids called my husband a hero in their poems.

23:01 Speaker 2 The Baumgartens, of course, check in on the Davgins from time to time and see them at the Chabad house in East Hampton.

23:08 Speaker 4 We joke, you know, she's my sister now. You know, she's got part of me in her. Tell everyone here's my twin, stuff like that. She says, "Do I have to learn Hebrew now?" And we crack all those kind of jokes. I told her she could definitely say a lot more L'Chaim now. She can handle it. To see her enjoying the happy occasions of her family, her kids and grandkids, that should continue. I want to continue hearing those stories.

23:29 Speaker 2 As for the Davgins, Terry says it took about a year to regain all her strength.

23:34 Speaker 3 And now I absolutely feel terrific. Thank God. And my blood work is amazing, almost as if I don't have a transplant at all. Really absolutely amazing how well I am.

23:50 Speaker 1 And every Friday night when we light candles, I talk to Hashem, thanking him for everything he's done for Terry, keeping her healthy and strong, and then the Baumgarten family, keep them healthy and happy.

24:06 Speaker 3 I wish that they experience the happiness that I have, and their children, and their beautiful children.

24:17 Speaker 2 Terry also wants to talk to anyone she can about the need for living organ donation. Isaac does, too, although he's careful to outline the different approaches Jewish law has to living donation versus donating after one has passed on. But Isaac and Musia say that their mandate of kindness to every person doesn't necessarily require donating an organ.

24:42 Speaker 5 If we're here to help the Jewish community, then that means whatever it takes. I think giving a kidney definitely is above and beyond. I wouldn't expect it of every rabbi to donate a kidney if a member of his community needed one. But I think in general, as Jews, we have an obligation to help wherever we can, however we can.

25:01 Speaker 3 I think that the Chabad rabbis and the rebbetzins are such giving, are such generous people. I have seen goodness and love on levels that I have never experienced before in my life. People who are willing to do amazing things to help other people, to follow the Rebbe's teachings, and to not only speak it, but to live it in every way.

25:34 Speaker 6 This is a very big part of vishlachas, which is just to help another Jew physically. That act creates a kindness in the world. It's like an aura of goodness in that part of the world by doing that kindness. And that's what creates this Mashiach mentality, this geulah, do another act of goodness and kindness, as the Rebbe would say, so that we can make this world a better place and everyone could have the revelation of Mashiach and godliness in this world.

26:06 Speaker 7 And the Rebbe knew that we needed to be here if for no other reason than to save Terry's life, which is not a small thing.

26:18 Speaker 8 I'm Gary Wallach. Thanks for listening to Lamplighters, stories from Chabad emissaries on the Jewish frontier. We welcome your questions and comments about what you've just heard on Lamplighters. Please email us at podcast at lubavitch.com. And if you know of a great story involving Chabad emissaries or the people they inspire, please let us know about them. That's podcast at L-U-B-A-V-I-T-C-H.com. To subscribe digitally to Lubavitch International Magazine or to receive it at your doorstep, please visit lubavitch.com slash subscribe. Lamplighters is a project of Machne Israel, the social services arm of Chabad Lubavitch.