Rabbi Yehoshua Soudakoff: Changing Lives Through Sign Language - Part 2

00:03 Speaker 1 I'm Gary Wolk and this is Lamplighters, stories from Chabad emissaries on the Jewish frontier. Life as a Chabad emissary is often joyous, but it can be unpredictable, and even dangerous. Chabad has become a ubiquitous presence in every corner of the world, but behind every Chabad house are emissaries, regular people striving to transcend their circumstances, and the community that supports and relies on them. These are their stories. In episode 13 of Lamplighters, we heard the story of Steve Weiner, a 66-year-old deaf Jew from Brooklyn. He was frustrated by dismissive attitudes among some in the community toward deaf people, and the limited opportunities he felt he had to live and learn as a Jew. After telling himself that he was done for good with Judaism, he embarked on a distinguished academic career that would earn him a PhD in education, and prominent positions at Gallaudet University in Washington DC, the only institute of higher learning in the world for deaf people. But then, about 10 years ago, he met Rabbi Yehoshua Sudakoff. A while later, in 2013, when Weiner was provost at Gallaudet, Sudakoff made an appointment to meet Weiner in his office to discuss organizing a Hanukkah event there.

01:34 Speaker 2 And I just thought, "This is a message from Hashem. He's been sent here to come talk to me." And we talked, and talked, and talked. He was not at all judgmental, not in the least bit. He understood me. He understood that I married someone who wasn't Jewish, and that we raised our children not Jewish, and he was open to me regardless.

01:54 Speaker 1 I interviewed Steve Weiner with the help of sign language translators Jessica Ames and Craig Vogel. Weiner's translation is read by Shmuel Bolen. Sudakoff's is read by Vogel.

02:06 Speaker 3 When I met Steve, he was at the pinnacle of his career. He was married, he had children, he had everything going for him. Despite all that, he couldn't find his connection to Judaism. He felt like it was miles away.

02:19 Speaker 1 Steve, who had been a very bright kid, wanted to learn deeper Jewish texts than what he had learned up until his bar mitzvah, but he had no one to do that with, and he felt isolated.

02:31 Speaker 2 I felt like a second-class citizen growing up in the Jewish world, and after my bar mitzvah, it was really like, "Bye-bye. You know, you're done."

02:39 Speaker 1 But a long talk with Sudakoff had re-energized him.

02:43 Speaker 2 He made me feel so welcome, and I was like, "Wow, a Hasidic rabbi welcoming me as I am, welcoming me just as a Jewish person."

02:55 Speaker 3 I think maybe I was a positive role model or an example of a Jewish deaf person who felt connected to Judaism.

03:03 Speaker 2 And I was so inspired by our conversation, and he asked me for help in setting up a nine-foot menorah, and having a Hanukkah service outside, and I just said, "Absolutely, yes, let's do it."

03:18 Speaker 3 He sprung into action to help us, and really shepherded the process forward to have a big public celebration of Jewish identity. Prior to that, all the Jewish celebrations on campus had been very low-key and understated, and when I got there and wanted to make a splash with a big public display, a nine-foot hanukkiah for all to see, w- initially it ruffled some feathers.

03:49 Speaker 1 Why would a Hanukkah celebration in Washington have ruffled feathers?

03:53 Speaker 3 Oh, brother, it's politics. In DC, everything is politics.

04:00 Speaker 1 Rabbi Sudakoff says that first menorah lighting at Gallaudet gave Jewish students there an opportunity to express their identity on campus. He credits Steve Weiner with making it happen.

04:12 Speaker 3 We've connected time and time again. We've studied together over Zoom, and have had some fantastic experiences together.

04:20 Speaker 2 Torah, in-depth discussions about Mishnah, and studying Rashi's work.

04:24 Speaker 1 Weiner says he tried to learn Maimonides' Guide for the Perplexed when he was 20 years old, and two more times when he was older. But each time he was on his own. He was, well, perplexed, but...

04:37 Speaker 2 Now I'm gonna try to read it again, and it's going to be very different, because I know that I have Rabbi Sudakoff to talk it over with.

04:48 Speaker 1 As Sudakoff was meeting deaf Jews and helping them connect to their heritage in the US, he was also learning how Jews around the world were underserved. In 2013, when he was just 22 years old, he was approached by a total stranger at a Shabbos dinner in Queens. The man was an older Russian gentleman, and he was deaf.

05:09 Speaker 3 And he came right up to me and said, "You need to start a camp in Moscow. There are hundreds of deaf children in Russia, Jewish deaf children, who need a place to go. They need to run free and have a camp to go to."

05:24 Speaker 1 Sudakoff told the man that he knew no Russian, and that the idea was impossible, but the man was insistent.

05:31 Speaker 3 And after Shabbat, I thought, "You know what? I'll humor him." I wrote an email to the chief rabbi of Russia, and I never thought I'd hear back, but I, I sent off the email, and I got an answer within hours. "Sure, we'd love that. How can we help?"

05:48 Speaker 1 The next summer, Sudakoff opened Camp Gan Israel in Moscow. It began with just two deaf children. The camp now serves about 40 boys and girls each year.

05:58 Speaker 3 This past summer we had a camp in Tbilisi, Georgia, a place where kids could come and enjoy themselves, have fun, and learn, and have the opportunity to grow. A program like that gives them the fuel to connect to their Jewish identity year-round.

06:15 Speaker 1 Rabbi Sudakoff grew as well. He can now sign in Russian, and Hebrew, and Yiddish. Even as he was helping deaf Jews break down communication barriers, Sudakoff was dealing with stereotypes about deaf people. For about three years, he had been looking for a marriage partner. In 2011, he went to a matchmaker in Lakewood, New Jersey.

06:38 Speaker 3 This was somebody who specialized in making matches for people with diverse special needs. She said, "Yehoshua, would you be willing to date somebody in a wheelchair?" And I said, "I don't understand the question." And she said, "Well, you know, you have a disability. Maybe it would be a good match. It seems obvious to me." But to me it wasn't obvious. Disability is not even part of the equation. It's a linguistic thing. I said, "Look, I have no problem with dating any kind of diverse person with any kind of need, but I don't want to date somebody that I would need an interpreter to communicate with." I don't see deafness as a disability. We're a linguistic minority. We just are a group of people who speak a different language and come from a different culture.

07:34 Speaker 1 With that in mind, Sudakoff founded the American-based Jewish Deaf Foundation in 2014. The foundation offers innovative programs in sign language to Jews all around the world.

07:45 Speaker 3 When you're in an all-deaf environment, everything is through direct communication, so questions and answers can flow freely. When someone has th- that experience, I believe that empowers them to go participate in an environment where maybe they are the only deaf person, because they've had enough formative experiences where they can participate in a predominantly hearing environment and feel like they can hold their own.

08:14 Speaker 1 While he was blazing new trails for the Jewish deaf community, Sudakoff was still struggling to find a match. A friend of Sudakoff's tried repeatedly to set him up with a deaf woman in Israel. He procrastinated for months, putting the needs of his campers and students ahead of his own, but his friend was relentless.

08:33 Speaker 3 And I'd been asked enough times that I finally said, "All right, what do I have to lose? Let's give it a shot."

08:39 Speaker 1 In the summer of 2016, Sudakoff began to communicate with a deaf woman living in Israel. Her name was Hefziba, but before she would agree to meet him in person, she had a question.

08:50 Speaker 3 "Do you see yourself living in Israel?" And at the time I wasn't sure, and she made it quite clear from the beginning, "If this is gonna work, if we're gonna be married, if there's a future for us, it's gonna be in Israel."

09:04 Speaker 1 So Sudakoff made the trip to Israel to meet Hefziba. They went on a date, quickly hit it off, and the match was made. They were married in early 2017, and now raise a young daughter, in Israel, of course. The Sudakoffs began working with Israel's deaf community. In 2018, they established Chushim Bendan in Rishon LeZion. It's the official Chabad center of the deaf and hard of hearing community. But what exactly is the significance of the name Chushim Bendan?

09:39 Speaker 3 Chushim Bendan is the only character in the Tanakh that is identified as deaf. In all of Jewish tradition, we have this one character to look to, and I was inspired by his story.

09:54 Speaker 1 But there's another reason the Sudakoffs chose that name.

09:57 Speaker 3 In Hebrew, the acronym of Chushim Bendan actually forms the word Chabad. So it just seemed natural. It just made sense.

10:11 Speaker 1 So how does Chushim Bendan help deaf Jews in Israel?

10:14 Speaker 3 Like many Chabad houses, we have gatherings for Shabbat, for holidays. We have summer camp opportunities. We have children's programs. We have programs for senior citizens. We take trips. We do workshops. We have one-on-one mentorship and lessons, bar and bat mitzvah lessons. Everything under the sun is what we do. We provide opportunities for every deaf and hard of hearing Jew to actively participate in their Jewish life. Our program provides an opportunity for our community members, for deaf and hard of hearing Jewish individuals, to become active participants, to become leaders in their community, to make things happen.

10:57 Speaker 1 The Sudakoffs' hard work brings with it unique challenges. For instance, during Rosh Hashana, how does one help deaf Jews fulfill the obligation of hearing shofar?

11:08 Speaker 3 Well, I can't give you one answer, because deaf people are diverse. There are some people who wear hearing aids. There are some people who use cochlear implants and may have some residual hearing, and so they experience it phonically. And there are different opinions and interpretations of what it takes to satisfy that commandment. If you're listening through a hearing aid or a cochlear implant, that may be one way to do it. I'm not a hearing aid user. I don't have a cochlear implant. But what I like to do is stand next to the person who's blowing that shofar and let them blow it right into my ear. I can hear a little something, and that's meaningful to me. It's the faintest of sounds, but I can hear it, and I connect.

11:50 Speaker 1 Back in the US, Steve Weiner serves on boards for the Jewish Deaf Resource Center, the Jewish Deaf Congress, the Maryland School for the Deaf, and the New York School for the Deaf.

12:01 Speaker 2 I'm involved with the Civil Rights Movement, fighting for the rights of deaf people, and I'm involved with deaf education, with the goal of improving the experience of deaf children.

12:10 Speaker 1 But what about the goal of improving his own experience? Here's a story about that. Not long after the menorah lighting Steve Weiner helped make a reality on the Gallaudet campus, he was walking with his brother and his son on Manhattan's Lower East Side.

12:29 Speaker 2 And it was Friday night, and it was getting darker outside- And a Hasidic man came up to me and said, "Was your mother Jewish?" And I said, "Yes." And I had my brother there, and my brother said, "Yes, our mother was Jewish." And I said, "Well, my son's not." And he said, "It doesn't matter."

12:47 Speaker 1 Soon, Weiner and his brother and son entered a basement shul. Remember that Steve had, in his own words, left the Jewish community decades ago. He hadn't attended a minyan since his bar mitzvah.

13:00 Speaker 2 And my brother and I were the ninth and 10th people, so then they finally could start their service.

13:07 Speaker 1 Steve says his brother knew little about Jewish afternoon and evening prayers.

13:11 Speaker 2 And so I was explaining to my brother what to do, when to sit and bow, and all of that, and he had his prayer book upside down, and I found a prayer book in English for him. And my son was watching all of this, and when the service was over and we left, my son said something very important to me. He said, "Dad, I've never seen you that happy." He said, "Your eyes were shining."

13:38 Speaker 1 Steve credits Sudakoff with rekindling his Jewish flame. He says he's never met anyone like him.

13:45 Speaker 2 He has the light of the Shechinah emanating from his soul. He is armed with knowledge and with love of learning, and love of Hashem and Hashem's people. The rabbi, he's really my biggest supporter.

14:00 Speaker 1 Rabbi Yehoshua Sudakoff is just 30 years old. He wants to help create more community leaders. To do that, he and Hefziba want to expand Chushim B'Dan, which he says needs a new building to call its own. For now, they will continue to operate in their small rented space, and to meet as many people as they can.

14:21 Speaker 3 I think it all comes down to leading by personal example. So just by meeting people and having them meet me has an impact. It changes the way they view the world and what they think is possible, and they go out into the world and just blossom from there.

14:37 Speaker 1 So Rabbi Sudakoff, what's next for you?

14:40 Speaker 3 More counseling, more teaching, more encouraging.

14:44 Speaker 1 I already know the answer to this question, but I'm going to ask it anyway. Are you satisfied with what you've been able to accomplish so far?

14:53 Speaker 3 I've never met a Chabad shaliach who's satisfied with what they've done so far.

15:00 Speaker 1 A full transcript of this episode, and also of part one of our story about Rabbi Yehoshua Sudakoff, can be found at lubavitch.com. I'm Gary Wollek. Thanks for listening to Lamplighters: Stories from Chabad Emissaries on the Jewish Frontier. We welcome your questions and comments about what you've just heard on Lamplighters. Please email us at podcast@lubavitch.com, and if you know of a great story involving Chabad emissaries or the people they inspire, please let us know about them. That's podcast at L-U-B-A-V-I-T-C-H.com. This is a Lubavitch International podcast.