Gary Waleik: How Chabad Shluchim Helped Me Accomplish A Lifelong Goal

00:03 Speaker 1 I'm Gary Wolak, and this is Lamplighters, stories from Chabad emissaries on the Jewish frontier. Life as a Chabad emissary is often joyous, but it can be unpredictable and even dangerous. Chabad has become a ubiquitous presence in every corner of the world, but behind every Chabad house are emissaries, regular people striving to transcend their circumstances, and a community that supports and relies on them. These are their stories. Over the first six months of this podcast series, we've told several stories of Chabad emissaries around the world. As I searched for a story to tell for this episode, I almost missed one hiding in plain sight, the story of the Chabad emissaries who inspired and supported me in accomplishing a goal I once thought impossible, or at least very unlikely. That goal was fully realized only very, very recently, and I'm still amazed that happened. Here's the story. I was born in 1962 to wonderful non-Jewish parents. They divorced, and my mom remarried when I was just five years old. That year, I insisted to my stepfather that we should get a Hanukkah menorah because he was, after all, Jewish. But unfortunately, he was uninterested. But I did learn tidbits of Jewish law from my new extended family, basic kosher law, what a mezuzah is, and why candles are lit in Jewish homes on Friday nights. Over the next few years, I read parts of the Bible, and the stories of Moses at the burning bush, the Exodus from Egypt, and the giving of the Torah at Mount

01:58 Speaker 1 Sinai resonated with me in ways I couldn't at the time fully understand, but I wanted to learn more. So by the time I was 10, I began reading about Jewish history, and that led to learning about the Holocaust. I could barely believe what I was learning about the Holocaust. In one book, I saw a picture of a man praying, wearing what I would later learn were tefillin and a tallis. He was barefoot and very downcast. Nazi soldiers taunted him while people lay prostrate in the street beside him. Were those people on the ground alive or dead? What happened to them and to this man? I had a feeling that the answers were not good. Only recently did I learn that, unfortunately, I was right about that. I was outraged. I felt the need to act, but how? I got an idea. When I was 11, I asked my mom how I could become a Jew. She said, "You can only be Jewish if your mother is Jewish," which was only partially true. She also told me, "I'm not Jewish, so you can't be." That was definitely not true, but I didn't know that then, and I was pretty disappointed. Fast-forward about seven years, and I'm a sophomore in college. The nicest, smartest, most beautiful woman I've ever known walks into the student union at the school we attended, and I'm just smitten. Her name was Natalie, and she was a Jew. We graduated from college, and soon after, I was in a touring rock band.

03:44 Speaker 1 We had a recording contract and played all over the world, including in Gelnhausen, Germany, where the band and I inadvertently ended up staying the night in the home of a former SS officer. We wouldn't have known that, but the drummer and I slept in the attic, where there was Nazi paraphernalia all over the room, banners, awards, photographs, weapons. Swastikas and iron crosses were everywhere. I'm not sure if I slept at all that night, and I learned not long after that Gelnhausen was the first German city or town before the war to become Judenrein, so-called, or cleansed of Jews. The person responsible for that was the wife of the SS officer whose house we stayed at. I was sickened, but I also felt I was receiving a message, and I began to understand what that message was. Not long after, I proposed, and I told Natalie that I wanted to convert, which I did. It was, for the most part, a wonderful experience, and we learned a lot together. We were married in the synagogue Natalie grew up in. We were blessed with two beautiful children, terrific careers, and a nice home. We attended a synagogue in the town where we lived. The community there was and is lovely, but in terms of our Jewish life, I felt something was missing. When our kids were little, I'd make a game of who could be the first to spot the Hanukkah menorah after it went up every year on our town common. Our kids really loved that,

05:25 Speaker 1 but we didn't know who was responsible for putting it up and lighting it. So in 2006, we decided to find out. The answer? The Chabad Center of Natick. We wanted to learn more, so we went to the menorah lighting that year, and that was the first time we met the Rebbe Shlichim to Natick, Rabbi Levi and Rebbetzin Chanie Fogelman. I was impressed by how welcoming they were and how easy it was to have a conversation with them. Natalie remembers that they were having fun.

05:54 Speaker 2 I remember the rabbi dancing around with the kids, and, uh, of course, the giving out of the gelt I felt like they really were getting the children involved. And, um, I remember Chani asking me for my phone number or email address so she could put me into her contact list.

06:18 Speaker 1 And of course, the menorah was lit. Rabbi's words to the scores of people gathered there pierced straight through to my heart. "In this time of darkness, the light of the menorah reminds us that we should have rock-solid faith in the future." I remember the utter confidence and positivity in his words and his demeanor. That was more than I had at that particular time, and I was a little shaken.

06:45 Speaker 3 You're talking about an illumination of darkness, and you're talking about Hanukkah, which was 2,000 years ago, and we're still here.

06:51 Speaker 1 That's Rabbi Levi Fogelman of the Chabad Center of Natick.

06:55 Speaker 3 The menorah has a sparkle. It has an energy that draws. I've found so many people, it ignites them, it illuminates them, and you're a, a case in point. And I can't tell you exactly what it is. I- it's certainly something spiritual that's there. I think it ignites the Jewish soul or the potential Jewish soul.

07:18 Speaker 1 My family and I attended a Torah dedication ceremony at Chabad Natick in 2009, and we sponsored letters in the scroll. It was the first time I had ever set foot in an Orthodox shul, and I loved watching the stereotypes fall away one by one. We attended family enrichment events and developed relationships with Rabbi, Chani, and members of the Chabad community. Here's Natalie again.

07:44 Speaker 2 At first, I didn't think we were the same as all the people who we would see every week at Chabad or at events, and I felt like they were wondering who we were, 'cause maybe we weren't quite the same as some of them, but they accepted us for who we were.

07:58 Speaker 1 And we learned, and our children learned, that the people we had seen around town with black hats, fringes, long beards, and modest dress were not so different. They had just chosen to live within a framework we weren't quite familiar with yet. I began to study Torah and about what Hasidism says about the neshamah, the soul, with Rabbi and others in the community. I was completely energized. I began attending the Chabad shul full-time. For the first time in my life, I felt I was learning about unfiltered, unapologetic Judaism, and I was becoming friends with Chabad emissaries wherever I met them. In 2013, I traveled to Montana and celebrated Shabbos with Chaim and Chavie Brook in Bozeman. I love Montana to begin with, but a shul with great Hasidism and great food, close to beautiful rivers teeming with trout, that was irresistible. Rabbi Brook seemed maybe a little puzzled as to why this stranger had schlepped 2,000 miles to Bozeman for Shabbos, but five years later, when I returned with my son, I think I helped him understand a little bit better.

09:12 Speaker 4 And I remember that you had a spunk, a sparkle in your eye as it related to anything Jewish, and more importantly perhaps, to anything Hasidism. So whenever we spoke, we took Judaism to a deeper level, to a deeper layer. You were looking for the depth, for the essence. The key to the success of reaching the souls is that we're speaking the language of the soul, right? Souls speak soul language. The soul is a deeper layer, and so to get to the deeper layer, you need to speak with the deeper layer of Torah, which is Hasidism, because the soul needs Sidus, and there's no more hiding from that anymore.

09:58 Speaker 1 It was so important to me that Rabbi Brook and other shluchim I met took me seriously and answered my questions with honesty, even if the truth sometimes hurt a little bit. And here's why I say that. I knew there was a problem. My conversion 29 years ago was missing an important component, the acceptance of all the mitzvahs as they were transmitted to Moshe at Sinai. I felt like a Jew, and for the most part, I lived as a Jew. My wife and daughter helped out at the Chabad Hebrew school and daycare. My son was Wally the Green Monster for a Red Sox-themed Purim celebration. And we were part of that community, but I couldn't participate fully at the shul I had chosen to attend. The thing that bothered me the most was that I couldn't be counted in a minyan, a quorum of 10 Jewish men, without which certain prayers can't be offered. I like feeling useful, and this was the opposite of that. So I began to talk seriously about conversion with Rabbi Fogelman. I won't share all the details, but over the last few years, there have been a lot of ups and a few downs, but I just kept going with learning and helping out a bit around the shul. And then I applied to the local Orthodox rabbinical court for conversion according to Jewish Halakha. The first meeting was in June, and I guess I did okay, because on October 25th, 2021, I met with the court again, this time with

11:39 Speaker 1 Natalie. They asked us tough questions, but I think I showed the beit din that I had a better grasp of Gemara than I had the first time we met, and I gave over a Hasidic discourse by the Lubavitcher Rebbe about Hanukkah that made me realize, even as I was explaining it, what was really happening the time we went to that first menorah lighting 15 years ago. To my utter delight, the beit din green-lighted my conversion. Rabbi Fogelman was with us at that meeting too. I asked him what his reaction was when I got the go-ahead.

12:16 Speaker 3 I expected it. And I knew they knew that you had not just studied hard, you were living Yiddishkay. And s- many of the things you said reflected trust, and belief, and emunah in God, and, and understanding the Torah's perspective on many things. That's something that resonated with the bezdin. So I expected it, but I was very excited.

12:39 Speaker 1 Obviously, Natalie has a big stake in all of this. Her reaction?

12:44 Speaker 2 It was a nice culmination of all your hard work, and you worked so hard for it. And, you know, I think they saw that you were serious, and that we were serious, and, uh, they could tell you were ready.

12:59 Speaker 1 Now, that day, October 25th, was the 29th anniversary of our first wedding. Later that day, as I hovered about 10 feet off the ground, I told Natalie, "Happy anniversary, honey. Let's get married." I told the good news to my friends. Rabbi Chaim Brook joined me online from Bozeman.

13:19 Speaker 4 I've known you for a while, and I know how much this has been a passion of yours, and I also know a lot about the obstacles that you and your family experienced along the way, until the right moment when Hashem said, "You know, he's been through enough. Let's make it happen." So obviously the natural response was excitement.

13:35 Speaker 1 On the 29th of Cheshvan in the year 5782, otherwise known as November 4th, 2021, I had a bris. I accepted all 613 mitzvahs, and I immersed in the local mikvah. I received my Jewish neshamah, and chose the Hebrew name Gavrielle DovBer Ben Avraham. But I couldn't stop long to take in the moment, because we needed to prepare for a wedding that was just three short days away. My wife and I were married at Chabad of Natick on November 7th, just two days before this episode went public. Rabbi Levi Fogelman officiated. He and Chanie were among those who escorted us to the chuppah. I was ecstatic, overjoyed, and really humbled that I was able to accomplish the goal of conversion and marriage according to Torah law. Our daughter Marley, and son Daniel were with us too, and that was the best thing of all. So that's pretty much my story, except that I'd like to pay special mention to some of the shluchim who mean so much to us, and who helped us along the way. Rabbi and Chanie Fogelman are always there when we have questions and need help. They encourage us to learn and grow, but only when we're ready for the next steps, both the big ones and the small ones. They're great friends.

15:07 Speaker 3 I am so excited about the Wallach family, uh, because obviously I know them, uh, and Chanie and I know them, uh, personally, and each one of them is a gem. And Marley and Daniel, I'm looking for their future families. I'm looking for, um, excited, uh, zeide and bubbe, and I'm looking for their goodness. They're always ready to help in a good, positive way, with a good approach and good feeling.

15:33 Speaker 1 Rabbi Chaim Brook wants to know when Daniel and I are visiting Montana again. Soon, I hope.

15:40 Speaker 4 Sure. I remember that you and your son loved Montana. I remember that you loved not only the views, but fly-fishing.

15:46 Speaker 1 Rabbi Brook, maybe when we return, Daniel and I, and you and your family can all make a trip to the Yellowstone River, and I can help you catch some of those elusive rainbows. I know where some of them live. When we visit our daughter Marley in Philadelphia, we love to visit and celebrate Shabbos with Rabbi Doniel and Rebbetzin Ruvenna Grodnitzky. We experienced an amazing Shabbos with them at their beautiful new mamash Chabad building just this past October. When we travel to see our son Daniel in Burlington, Vermont, we always look forward to seeing Rabbi Zalman and Rebbetzin Chanie Wilhelm and their growing family. I guess you could say that Daniel has become a member of their family as well. That's just what happens when you go to the Wilhelms for Shabbos dinner pretty much every week. Rabbi Mordechai Abraham, who we featured on this podcast series earlier this year, checks in on me from time to time all the way from South Africa. Rabbi Schneur Brook of Chabad of Shelton, Connecticut is my point person for the Lamplighters podcast. He's always kind and patient, which I, I definitely cannot say about all of the people I've ever worked with, or about myself. Thanks, Rabbi. Finally, Rabbi Moshe Reitman of Wilmette, Illinois mailed me one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received, a dollar from the Lubavitcher Rebbe that he received during Sunday Dollars in 1992. I texted him and asked him how he could possibly give up something like that to a person he'd

17:27 Speaker 1 met only once before. His response, "When the Rebbe gave that dollar to me, he knew it would end up with you." Wow. Natalie and I are so fortunate that our stories are bound together with the stories of so many Chabad shluchim, and I still can't believe that I get to tell some of their stories on this podcast series. Whether personally or professionally, we look forward to meeting more and more of them over the coming years. Maybe we can plan a honeymoon to Iceland and visit Rabbi Avraham and Rebbetzin Mushkie Feldman, the shluchim in Reykjavik that we featured earlier this year on Lamplighters. What do you think, Natalie?

18:11 Speaker 2 We definitely should go to Iceland sometime soon.

18:17 Speaker 1 I'm Gary Wallach. Thanks for listening to Lamplighters: Stories from Chabad Emissaries on the Jewish Frontier. We welcome your questions and comments about what you've just heard on Lamplighters. Please email us at podcast@lubavitch.com. And if you know of a great story involving Chabad emissaries or the people they inspire, please let us know about them. That's podcast@L-U-B-A-V-I-T-C-H.com. This is a Lubavitch International podcast.