68.Reb Shmelke Runs Away From Kavod

00:16 I already told you in the past in the story that Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg and his brother Reb Pinchas, who was famous for his Sefer the Baal Hafla'ah, Sefer Hafla'ah on Masechtah Kesubos. These were two great geonim and tzadikim, and they each became rabbonim-- the two brothers became rabbonim in two separate cities in Germany. Reb Shmelke became the Rav of Nikolsburg, and Reb Pinchas became the Rav of Frankfurt. And I already told you how the Maggid of Mezritch, uh, said, "Berach HaKodesh, who is gonna be the Rav in which city?" So today I'm gonna tell you what happened when Reb Shmelke of Nikolsburg was, uh, invited to become Rav in Nikolsburg. The story is like this, that once when, uh, Reb Sh-Reb Shmelke received the invitation, he packed his bags and traveled to Nikolsburg because the community asked him to come and to be their Rav. And people in Nikolsburg were very excited and very happy that they're getting such a special great Rav to be the Rav in their city. So before Reb Shmelke arrived in Nikolsburg, they sent a whole group of people with wagons and with music to go and welcome the great guest, the great new Rav that they're having, uh, in the town, in the city. And they went to give him a lot of kavod. All the Rab- all the hakhamim, and all the great people, and all the rich people, everybody went out, like several miles outside the city, to go and meet Reb Shmelke, who is arriving

02:02 from a long way, uh, to become the Rav of Nikolsburg. And they gave him so much kavod and they, and they carried him, they took him out of the wagon. They wanted to carry him personally to show how much respect they have for him and how much, um, they love the new Rav. And Reb Shmelke saw so much kavod that he's getting, and it bothered him because, you know, sometimes when you get a lot of kavod, people say, "Wow, you're such a great person," you start feeling a little bit of a sense of pride and, and that's not good because pride separates you from Hashem. When you start feeling pride about how great you are, that is the worst thing, the worst thing a person can have. If you really want to have a strong relationship with Hashem, you can't have pride. Pride is not good. Yeshes, we call it, Bachsdim. Yeshes, gaaveh, that's very bad. So he was very-- tzaddik, he used to run away from that. But well, they, they had no choice, you know. People were trying to respect the Rav, which is a mitzvah to be respectful to Talmidi Hakhamim, especially the Rav of the city. But Reb Shmelke didn't wanna... was afraid to feel a sense of pride. So-- But what can he do? He has no choice. Now, when they brought him, they, they carried him, and they brought him with great-- with music and a lot of excitement. Hundreds of people came out of the city, and they

03:26 danced, and they-they-they praised him, and, and they said amazing things about him. And they carried him all the way into the city. And they arranged for one of the most beautiful homes in Nikolsburg, which was going to be the home of the new Rav. And as he's, uh, going into that new home, uh, somebody heard him speaking to himself quietly. And what does he hear him say? He says, "Kum tarein, Reb Shmelke. Come inside the house, Reb Shmelke. The great, great Talmid Hakhamim going, Reb Shmelke, come into the house." And then he overhears him saying to himself, "Nu, Reb Shmelke, zetzeh avek. Zetzeh avek oyb non. Sit at the head of the table. You're the great Rav. You should be sitting at the head of the table." And Reb Shmelke sits down. And then everybody comes into the house, and they prepared a big meal and a lot of food. And they-- somebody standing next to Reb Shmelke hears him say, "Reb Shmelke, uh, now go wash your hands for the challah, for the bread. Go, Reb Shmelke, nu, it's time for you to get up and wash your hands before everyone else, and then you should say HaMotzi bread so everybody can say Amen." And everything he does, somebody hears him say, "Nu, Reb Shmelke, please do this, do that." And then finally everybody leaves, uh, except for a few people who are still in the house cleaning up. Reb Shmelke goes into a side room, and somebody goes close to the door and

05:02 hears him say, "Nu, Reb Shmelke, look at all this kavod you got. Nu, Reb Shmelke, now it's time for you to, uh, to go lie down. Reb Shmelke, Reb Shmelke..." He's talking to himself as if he's giving kavod to himself. And it was very bizarre. People found it so strange that somebody would give himself honor. Usually, people like when somebody else praises them, but you're not gonna go around saying, "I am so great, and therefore I should do this and I should do that because I'm such a great person." It's very silly to do that, isn't it? So people were very surprised. They thought they brought a very special Rav, but now it sounds like this Rav is a little strange, a little... maybe he's not normal. People were a little bit, uh, confused till, uh... nobody wanted to ask him. They thought, "Okay, maybe it's a chutzpah. It's not nice to ask him." Finally, one of the young people who was from a rich family, and he had a lot of guts- He went over to Reb Shmelke and says, "Rebbe, can you please tell me why are you speaking like this? You're talking to yourself, and you're saying to yourself, you're giving yourself a lot of kavod. Reb Shmelke, sit down. Reb Shmelke, eat now. Reb Shmelke, you're talking to yourself as if you were somebody else talking to somebody-- to Reb Shmelke." So he explained to him like this, "I saw all this kavod that people were giving me, and I didn't

06:31 want to feel any pride in what people are saying. I didn't want it to affect me. So what did I do? I imagined that I am giving this k-- imagine if I gave that kavod to myself. Imagine I'm, I'm going to... I'm talking to myself and saying, 'You know, Reb Shmelke, come in, the great Gaon Reb Shmelke. Please eat, Reb Shmelke. Come and drink.'" It would sound silly, right? Nobody would feel pride when you say to yourself, "I'm such a great person." It, it, it's, it's talking to yourself. You want others to, to think of you as a great person. But when you think of it-- when you say it to yourself, it sounds silly. He says, "I want the praise that other people give me to feel to me the same way as if I say it to myself." He says, "I learned it from a Mishnah." What does the Mishnah say? "Yehi kevod chaveiro," the honor of your friend should be as beloved, "chaviv k'eshalcha," like your own honor. So when we read the Mishnah simply, what it means is that you should respect others the way you wanna be respected by others. In other words, you should be nice to others the way you want others to be nice to you. That means be nice to others. Be respectful to your friends, right? The way you want people to be respectful to you, you should also be respectful to others. Reb Shmelke says, "I have a different pshat. I have a different

08:00 meaning in the Mishnah." But "yehi kevod chaveiro" doesn't mean giving honor to your friend. The honor that your friend gives you should feel to you k'eshalcha, as if you give it to yourself. When you give it to yourself, it sounds silly and stupid. Well, it should feel that when somebody else gives you honor, it should feel like silly and stupid, and it shouldn't have any effect on you. And that's why Reb Shmelke was trying so hard not to feel any pride, so he would try to repeat and copy what other people were saying to him. He was saying it to himself so it would feel silly. So well, it's as silly when others say it to you as well.