Channel the Chatter: How to Handle the Talking in the Classroom

00:00 Speaker 1 Hi, I'm Zalman Shneur. Welcome to the Everything Chinuch Podcast, brought to you by the Menachem Education Foundation. Here, you'll find fabrangens, workshops, live interviews, and more. All to inspire you, the Chabad educator. We hope you enjoy today's episode.

00:24 Speaker 2 Hi, everyone. My name is Chami Levitanski. Um, they really want me standing in front of the camera here for the Zoomers. Hi, Zoomers. But I feel like I was punished, I have to stand behind this podium. It's not usually how I present. So if I can ask everyone just to move up so we can make this a cozy, comfortable classroom where we're all learning together instead of living on different islands. Okay. For the sake of our Zoomers, and I lived out of town for many years, so I appreciate that they're here, and I value what they do, and, um, I'm sorry for them that they didn't get lunch and snack and coffee and all the good things they, um, served us. I'm gonna try to stay here for them and, um, not dance around the room like I usually do. Okay. So, um, it's a pleasure and a privilege to be here today, um, working with teachers. I think the world has a warped, uh, picture of what they envision teachers doing all summer. They imagine the teacher sitting at the pool and going on picnics and on vacation. You only have a ten-month jo-- uh, ten-month job, and yet we are forever thinking about our students, hence the six hundred machanhos joining together today to think, "What could I do to take what I'm doing and upgrade it? What could I do to do it better? What could I do to connect more to my students? What could I do to reach my students?"

02:01 Speaker 2 And that speaks volumes of who you all are and what you all do. And you're coming here today, um, to upgrade your teaching and running a smoother, stronger classroom. It should be a zechus for you and for all your students who are benefiting from everything you learn. So I wanna start by just getting a little taste of who we have here in our room and getting to know my audience. Um, can I see how many first or second-year teachers are here? Raise your hand so we can know who you are. Okay. So welcome aboard. Um, it's incredible. I think today, when we have, um, a new teacher, we have to really all clap for them and give them a lot of... They're, they're joining a very noble profession. Um, and there's a lot of callings out there, and this one is one that reaps dividends. Uh, ""And I, I tell anyone that joins this profession, it's not just a way of giving back to your-- a system that you benefited one-- from. It's also a way of saying, "I care so much about Klal Yisrael's future that I want to invest in it." So welcome aboard. How many of you are teaching between, um, three to five years? Let's see your hands. Wonderful. How many five to ten years? Okay, ten to fifteen? All right. We have anyone over fifteen? Raise your hand. Good for you. Kol HaKavod. Anyone twenty-five plus? Wow. Beautiful. You should have continued kayichus to do lavodas Hakodesh. Okay. Uh, let's

03:42 Speaker 2 see who, um, is teaching Limudei Kodesh. Okay. Um, general studies. Any foreign languages? Do we have anyone here from out of the country? Where? No, it's not foreign, but the language that Is what? Foreign to them. Yeah. Somehow, a lot of teachers f-- Hebrew teachers feel that way. Okay. Um, we have any, uh, permanent subs? Okay, great. Substitutes, assistants, support staff. High school? Elementary school? Okay. Um, I'm gonna start by making a statement, and I want to see... If you think that's you, I need you to say, "That's me." Okay? So, um, let's start with the first statement. Okay. I was waiting for summer to come to rejuvenate, revitalize, and rethink about my classroom. That's me. Okay. I love teaching, but some days are truly challenging. That's me. Okay. Both I and my students have had our moments. That's me. Okay. There are some days I walk around feeling this is not what I signed up for. That's me. Okay. Um, the school schedule is a gift because we once again get to have another first chance. You mean for the year? Yeah, yeah, that I have another first day. That it's not this, uh, whatever didn't work will continue like that forever. Okay. And I can definitely benefit from some stronger classroom management tools to run a stronger classroom. Okay. So the good news is you're in the right place. This is a very safe environment where we are all maskim that the challenge is great, the work is, is, is doable, but if

05:49 Speaker 2 we could h-- take some practical strategies and tools with which we could tighten our classroom, we're in and ready for it. I wanna, um, share with you that... Hold on. I'm gonna Okay. That, um, very often, those of us who have been in this business for a long time find ourselves sliding into the following thoughts. And we say to ourselves, like, "Kids nowadays..." Sometimes it doesn't need to be more than a first or second-year teacher, and that you're thinking to yourself, "This never would have happened when I was a kid. If I would have said that to a teacher, I would have dot, dot, dot, or I wouldn't be here anymore." And it's very interesting, Rabbi Orlowek, who's a noted mechanech, reminds us as mechanechos really not to go that route. We have to think to ourselves that if we go that route, then we're creating a disconnect because we're only, like, thinking, "Well, it's not the same kid." Well, if it's not the same kid and I need a new set of tools, do I have that tool? We have to meet our kids where they're at. And today, they're healthy, normal kids for two thousand and twenty-five. And to just go and start our rant, how this never would have happened, or how could it be, or it's not fair that, or where's the chinuch, or why can't parents just say no, is creating a gap between us and today's children. So we're not going that route, even though sometimes we might want

07:31 Speaker 2 to, and we feel like, "Had I said that to my mother, oh, boy, what would have happened?" But we're not going that way. And the second thing is, Rabbi Orlowek, Rabbi Orlowek tells us that we should think, oi, we shouldn't think, oi, in the good old days. The old days had their problems, too. So it's new problems, new children, a new generation, but we're not scared, and we're going to figure it out, and we're going to rise above, and we're going to learn new techniques. But it's not like it was always perfect way back then, and now we just got stuck with the two thousand and twenty-five child, and we are doomed. Chas v'Shalom. They're, they're good kids, and we're going to learn tips and tools for what we could do to help them be matzliach and successful. I want to start by creating language for us on what the classroom culture feels and looks like and giving it a name. I'm dividing the classroom just for conversation purposes into three zones. Can anyone see anymore? Because I'm not sure where the lighting went. Okay, great. If you see, we're good. Um, the first zone, and I want to name these zones. I want to call them, them zone A, zone B, and zo- zone C. And these zones are really a classroom culture, a classroom feeling. The way my son would say, he'd say, "What's the vibe? What's the, what's the feeling in that, in that room right now?" And we're gonna talk about

09:06 Speaker 2 our classrooms that the culture, the feeling changes into zone A, zone B, or zone C. Let's give them a name, and let's talk about what they feel and look like in each zone, so we can reference them throughout our time together. Zone A is where it's super comfortable and chilled. Okay? A, a zone A would be that someone walks in late and no one comments, no one says anything. Someone gets up and goes to their locker, no comment, no... Someone can stand up and walk to another classmate and take a pencil off her desk. In fact, in a zone A, sometimes you'll see a student not wearing shoes or just going to their cuppy to get a water bottle. Is there ever a time or place for a zone A? Say yes. Yes. Yes. Do we want our classroom culture in zone A all the time? No. No. That would be a very scary thing. But we have to admit there might be a time and place for zone A. We'll come back and talk about when that would be in a few minutes. Zone B is everyone in the classroom is maskim that I am the driver of this bus, and there are rules to follow. However, it's a safe place to learn. Mistakes can be made, but expectations are clear. I know what I have to do, but it's okay if sometimes I make mistakes. That is what we call a zone B. Would we like our classroom there most of the time?

10:57 Speaker 2 Yes. Yes. Now, a zone C is... I used to have the word anxious, but that word is so scary today that I took it off. But today, a zone C would be what I call a strict, intimidating, what kids might call scary, organized, boot camp-like culture. And I'm going to leave my post, but that would be where the teacher walks around going up and down like that. Students would yell around, hang lotions. That shouldn't be another huge focus of the day. That's technical. Very, very heavy trauma of what might happen. To the point that students are a little bit uncomfortable. A little bit. Is there ever a time and place for a zone C? Yes. Yes. Can someone give me an example of when a zone C is okay? Test. Test. Another time. First day of school. First day of school. We'll talk about where we should be the first day of school. Fire drill. Who said that? Fire drill. Okay. Or as an administrator when I was principal of a school. Anyone here from St. Louis? No? For years, I lived in St. Louis. I was principal of a school. Three o'clock in the afternoon, I walk into the girls' bathroom. There's about two thousand paper towels filled with water that are now sticking on the ceiling, and a lot of cute little seven-year-olds, eight-year-olds giggling. It's time for a zone C environment. Okay. Fire drill, safety, alert. Okay? When there's a, chas v'Shalom, we should all be safe. If there's ever a suspectful

12:55 Speaker 2 intruder, or if there's ever, um, a fire alarm or any type of tornado alarm, whatever the severity of that safety threat is, that is the time for zone C. Are we comfortable if a teacher remains in zone C all the time? No. Why? Let's hear some thoughts. Uh, I, I will repeat it for the Zoomers. Let's hear some thought. Come on. We have-- You have to speak loud if you're, if you're speaking from the back or else I won't. Because you can't learn that way. It's not a good environment. Okay. Okay. Um, we want an environment that people are... You want to say something? You're not connecting with them. Okay, so much of teaching is connecting, and people have a hard time connecting in a zone C environment. It's very tough to connect when I feel I am being barked at and told what to do. That doesn't bring my connection strings out of me. Okay. Now, when is it okay, and when are we comfortable as teachers in a zone A environment? Go ahead. When it's like there's only a few students in class- Okay. -or whatever making it more informal. Excellent. Excellent. So it's a Friday, and, um, most of the class is traveling 'cause it's ra-- pre-vacation, Hanukkah vacation, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, we wish. And, and that Friday, there's six girls there, and we want to make them feel special, and we'll say, "Girls, don't worry about it. Just, just move on up. You don't need your rights for them.

14:29 Speaker 2 Sit in anyone's chairs. We're just gonna have a little more of a chilled rea-- uh, place." How about the day before Sukkos, when we're all working on a Sukkah decoration? Music could be playing, it could be lighter. They... I-Is it okay on a zone A environment for a girl to say, "Mora, did you go to camp with my sister?" Mm. This is where it gets tricky. We'll talk about that. Okay? So we have to just know who creates these zones. Who-- Is there a little flag that goes up like at the beach in Eretz Israel? If it's a red flag, a green flag, an orange flag, if I'm zone A, zone B, zone C? Absolutely not. Who creates these zones? The teacher. What she says, what she allows, what she does, what she doesn't allow, what she doesn't do, what she doesn't let all create these zones. We're gonna talk about, do we have enough clarity ourselves in where we wanna be and what we want our students to be doing at that time? Hopefully, that we could get to the place that our students-- that we have a better handle and less disruptions in our classrooms. So what are we going to accomplish today? The first thing is we're going to unders-- get an understanding of our own mindsets. I don't know. It looks like you're missing some words, but you could add it. Okay? No, no. I don't think it has it. Has it. Okay. We're gonna talk then about what do we

16:13 Speaker 2 ha-- what do we allow and what don't we allow? What are we okay with or what are we not okay with regarding the student behavior in our classrooms? I'm now going to ask you a very challenging question, which I'm fine if we get pushback, but do we teach these expectations to our students? Raise your hand if you teach high school. Okay. Is there talking in our high school classrooms? Yes. Yes. Do they know they're not supposed to talk? Yes. Do they do it anyway? Yes. What do we do about that? So we'll talk about how is an appropriate way to let high school girls know that we don't allow talking. We'll talk about Baruch Hashem, their talkers. Anyone who's ever dealt with someone who has social anxiety or someone who has some type of, um, selective mutism and wishes the child would talk, we want normal, healthy, developmentally mature and on developmentally on-- w-- on track students. And, and in the world of ladies and the world of high school students, there's a lot of chatter. So we need to know that it's a good thing, but we also know we have to limit it for the sake that they could be in a zone B, safe learning environment that's productive to being product-- t-t-- an environment that's productive to learning. Okay. What happens after we have the right mindset and we make it very clear and we teach it? We need to think about how are we going to positively reinforce it when it's

18:00 Speaker 2 there. Catch them doing it right. Okay? We all like to be complimented. We-- Human nature is if I know I'm good at it and I'm caught doing it right, I will do more of it In a typical development situation. We're not talking about those behaviorally, behaviorally challenged or impulsive, or those that require medi-medication. And then number five is how do I correct it when it's not working right? What's the right way of correcting it? Okay. Sixty seconds. We have a picture on the screen. What does that have to do with our classroom culture? Talk to your partner and see what you would say is the connection between the picture on the screen and our classroom culture we're trying to create. Sixty seconds. Timer's on. Go for it. Okay. So very often, very often people will say, "You're really gonna let a bunch of ladies talk? You're really gonna let them just talk to their partner? What are you thinking? How are you ever gonna get them back?" And then I say, "What do you mean? These are teachers. When they call their students back to quiet, they want their students to step up. I'm not scared. We're gonna get back. We need to talk." And now that we spoke, who could share with us what in the world does this picture have to do with where we want our classroom culture to be? Why is it that, uh, Mora or Rebi, in describing her classroom culture or her relationship with her students, would use this

20:43 Speaker 2 image of a hand holding a little chickling? Let's hear your thoughts. Go ahead. But speak loud, please, 'cause our Zoomers. Remember them? Okay. But feeling safe. Let's, let's unpack the word safe. How do we create safety for a child? How do we create safety for a student? General studies, Codash, high school, adults. What is it that can h-help make this bird feel safe? Okay. Discipline. That means we have expectations, and the words I wanna use is that we're kind, we're understanding, but we are firm. We are firm means that we have boundaries. W-- Not everything can go. If I'm so kind, Ma... If you're so kind, Mommy, how can I... How come I can't have ice cream right before dinner? Because that would be unkind. 'Cause a healthy home has boundaries, a healthy classroom has boundaries. And sometimes I have, um, teachers who will say to me, "I'm good at the teaching, but I'm not good at the classroom management." But you know what? They go hand in hand. And you could be the best teacher, if you don't have systems and boundaries and expectations and clarity for your students, you're not gonna get the luxury of teaching. And it works the same way the other way. If you have systems, expectations, and clarity, but you don't have quality content, you g-- y-you have them all sitting and listening for what? If you're not filling their bucket, it's not gonna work. So the... I-it's all gears going in the right direction. When we do a

22:33 Speaker 2 lot of new teacher training, we explain that they all have to be braided together, and they are all as important, one to the next. So we need to think long and hard about our expectations in the classroom, what we let and what we don't let, how we're gonna respond, just like we need to think about our content. How do I explain math equations? How do I take apart this Rashi? How do I give them the knowledge they need for this historical event? It holds just as much importance as my classroom systems. I once met a teacher, she goes, "I don't deal with that. That's elementary. I just don't deal with those rules and procedures. I walk in, and I teach." In no time, sh-- it all unraveled, because what are your expectations and how are you creating a kind and firm culture? So I want to start by talking about our first piece today, which is our mindsets. Very-- There is a huge piece, a very scary, a very uncanny piece that our students have a deep understanding of where we are in our feelings. It's almost like sometimes we say like they, they know exactly which buttons to press. How do they know? How do they know? And a lot of that comes from our feeling of calm. And I want to talk about chaos for a minute. You could meet someone and look at them, and inside of them is complete chaos. And within a few minutes of the conversation, you might be

24:22 Speaker 2 able to pick up on it. In a classroom throughout an afternoon or a morning, the teachers are go-- the students are going to pick up what is your internal chaos. And it's our job to create a calm mindset before we walk into our classroom, and that calm mindset is, This is the job Hashem perfectly planned for me. And these students are handpicked by the Ribono shel Olam for me to have all year. And I don't want to find myself ever thinking, If only Chaya wasn't in my class, things would be right. Or sometimes I don't want my brains and my heart thinking, I feel so bad for my class. If only they would have had Mr. Shapiro. She's ten, ten years teaching. She's so good." They're, they're, they're getting second best. My mindset has to be one that I know this class is designated and handpicked for me because I am the best and person right now to be teaching these students. And that's it. And we're unapologetic, and we're going to use the tools we have in the, in the clearest way possible to set the tone and the feeling in the classroom. And if we're at a point mid-year that we feel like they're, they're rattling us, they're challenging us, parents are so difficult. We're getting to a point now we're finding them annoying. A-and, and the students I don't-- I can't say this, but if I-- if someone has a feeling that the students they don't even like, they have to almost

26:08 Speaker 2 go home and reframe and look in the mirror and say, "This is someone's child. I owe them love and care, even... Like I owe every other child." Um, someone was telling me, uh, someone that I was meeting about, um, doing a presentation for one of... for Toras Moshiach, the organization I do a lot of work for. They were saying that, um, if teachers have a hard time with this, they should put in their pocket a Q-tip. A Q-tip? How's a Q-tip going to help them? Quit taking it personally. And so much of our internal chaos unravels within us when we take it personally. "People are gonna think I'm not a good teacher. Um, it's, it, it-- I, I went into this with such noble and, and great shifos and ideals and, and look what she's doing. She's causing my profession..." Relax. She's a student. We are the adult. We're going to do the best we can with the tools we have. In that moment, we're not going to take it personally. We're going to refocus and say, "How could I do more? What could I do more for this student?" And that right away is going to magically affect our external chaos. We're going to come from a place of strength. We're going to come of a place, "I can do this. I will take charge, and I will really get this classroom under control." So I have to almost like think, "Where, where's my chaos barometer? Where am I up to? Internally, how do

27:44 Speaker 2 I take control of the situation? Externally will automatically be affected by the internal chaos." I have to remind myself that I was ch-- I believe that I was handpicked and chosen by the to be this class's teacher. I don't start beating myself up, "If only I took the other job, if only I would have made a few more phone calls, if only I would have gone to the other school, if only I would have given myself a year off." I'm in, and I'm in all the way, and I'll do the best I can. So that's how we, um, get to a place that we say we're in the mindset to properly walk into our classroom and teach. But we want to get to a place that we're kind and firm. Back to that picture of that little bird in the hand. How could I be that teacher that is kind and firm? What... How... What does a t-- a kind teacher do? What does a firm teacher do? So we're going to stop for a minute and think to ourself about a situation. A girl raises her hand, recess is over. And she goes, "Morah, I didn't get a chance to eat my snack 'cause I was finishing my spelling. Can I eat snack now?" Is it kind if I let her eat the snack, or is it unkind if I let her eat the snack? I don't know. I have to really think har-- long and hard about this because sometimes our initial reaction

29:21 Speaker 2 is, "She's such a cute little bubbala, really. Let her eat the snack. Really? Come on, it's just snack." What is gonna unravel because I'm allowing her to eat the snack now? So everyone else is gonna look and go like, "Hey." And tomorrow, three girls didn't get a chance to eat their snack. So is it kind or is it unkind if I let the girl eat her snack? So this is where I want to stop for a few minutes and say that we as teachers sometimes are not even sure what we allow and what we don't allow. And I want to talk about a danger. And a danger is when we are unclear, you know what happens? They are unclear. And when they are unclear, they will test because they're normal children, and they'll argue, and they'll push. And the minute they argue and push and test is where they're pushing the red line down the road. Are we kind and firm anymore? So what I'd like to us to think about is, do we even know what we let and what we don't let? Um, in the back of your handout, there's a page that says, "Classroom Behavior Reflection Ch-Checklist." Do you have it?

30:50 Speaker 3 Yes.

30:51 Speaker 2 Great. I want you to look at it for a second, and I want us to ask ourselves the following questions. It's the first day of school, and a girl is turning around during the lesson. Am I okay with that? With it, but I need a system with which to teach that. Or does it depend? I don't know. It depends what she's ask-- turning around for. I don't know. And if, if we take the time now, July fifteenth, till the start of the school year to ask ourselves the following questions: Are we okay with it? Do we wanna teach it? Do we let it? Do we not let it? We will be kinder because we will have clearer expectations. And I sometimes say that about a classroom, um, where the girls will say... ask a question, "Maura, can I go get a drink?" Yesterday, she didn't let Dina get a drink. Today, she lets Chaya get the drink, and then one girl says to the other girl, "Oh, she's in a good mood." Are moods the way we're supposed to operate clarity in our classroom? I don't think so. You know, I, I remember, like, as kids, we used to stand there. We're allowed to make exceptions. I know we need to make exceptions. I know we're dealing with the Shamas and the Fashos and all that. But if we want to operate, we can operate at a mood. As, as little girls, I remember we used to stand, um, uh, the English teachers would come

32:23 Speaker 2 in, and we would watch our, uh, a certain English teacher come out of the car, and we would, like, say, based on her hair, if it's a, if it's a good hair day or a bad hair day, is she in a good mood or a bad mood? Will she let us have extra recess or not? And I'm looking back and going, "That's so unsettling. That's so unkind. That's so unclear. That's so unbalanced for kids to have to think, 'If she's in a good mood, she's gonna let. If she's in a bad mood, she won't let.' That's how we operate. So if I'm thirsty today, and I caught her in a good mood, I get to take a drink. If not, choke your way till four o'clock." That's not how we operate. Do we let or don't we let? But we, as morals, as teachers, first and clearest have to know what we want. Do we even know what we want? If a girl calls out, am I okay with it or not okay with it? If her father's the president of the school, I'm okay with it, and her father doesn't pay tuition, I'm not okay with it? Either we let or we don't let. Either we have a system or we don't have a system. Um, can you repeat what you just said? Maura, can you repeat what you just said? I'll repeat it for the first three, but not for four, five, and six. Or sometimes I'll hear her go say, "I made

33:39 Speaker 2 a few jokes. She thought it was so funny. Even Maura laughed." And tomorrow, another girl makes a joke, and the response is, "Jokes are not acceptable in this classroom at this time." Do we let or don't we let? Well, because it was, uh, how do I say? Chene is a very scary thing. If a student has chene, sometimes that's like the polishing veneer that, that c-- they can get away with things. But that's such a scary statement to a class that someone could get away with things because they have more chene. Chene is given by Hashem. Lots of it. He has so many children, but we have to be fair to what we do or don't let. Um, do we have to... I give out an assignment. Do we have to? Are we okay with that? What's the answer?

34:31 Speaker 4 Yeah.

34:31 Speaker 2 When I give an assignment, there's no questioning. End. And, and, and I stick to that. It's not like, "Well, actually, I'm thinking, looking at it, that, um, you only have to do, um, the odd numbers." Oh, so tomorrow, if we all say, "Do we have to," then maybe we'll just get, like, four problems. All right. This paper to me is a real aha because it makes me think that as teachers, we don't even always know what we let or what we don't let. And we have to look at it ourselves. And maybe some of us are okay with it. Maybe, um, if someone turns around and it's curriculum and learning-focused, they miss something in their notes. It's a high school. They don't have a pen. They, they want-- They weren't there yesterday. They're asking a quick question. Maybe I am okay with it. That's fine, but I need to know I'm okay with it, and I need them to know I'm okay with it. And then I need to let them know when it's okay and when it's not okay. Because if not, that becomes very unsafe to a child because it's not consistent. And clear expectation and consistency is how we get to kind and firm. Question. Go ahead. You have a question? And I'm watching my time because it's running away. Go ahead.

35:44 Speaker 4 I just wanted to say, like, as far as, you know, do we have to? Okay. You know, I haven't taught, um, anything lower than middle school in many years. But if, let's say, one of my seventh graders would say, "Do we have to?" I would just smile and say, "Yep."

35:56 Speaker 2 Okay.

35:57 Speaker 4 But it would probably be because I'm not going to change it.

36:00 Speaker 2 Why? So then, then, then, then that red line stayed the same. You'll-- And if someone asks it again tomorrow, you'll also say, "Yeah." The minute-

36:08 Speaker 4 But with a smile. But with a smile.

36:09 Speaker 2 With a smile. Beautiful. Okay. Um, in a first or second-grade class where the kids might think, last year's teacher, if we fetched enough, we got away with it, I want them to know right away, this is second grade. If I'm giving it and I'm saying it, then we have to. It's not a question here. Now, if you-- Now, back to my exception. With all this, w-we're, we're caring people. We have to know we make exceptions to everything, but we have to know it's an exception for the right kid at the right ti-- the right student at the right time and the right moment. But when we have more exceptions than rules, or when we're not clear about our rules, or we only let 'cause their mothers live on our block, and they're such complainers, I just don't wanna hear from them today at five o'clock, that's unclear, that's not consistent, and that is not a kind and firm environment for my students. There were more questions. I'm gonna ask that we wait because I'm gonna be here so late the-- with the undone content, and that's not acceptable. Okay. Um, I wanna move to once I know what I let and what I don't let Uh, this I just want to point out. This is the tipping point. The tipping point is the minute the red line starts moving. So if one girl goes, "But we're so hot," and I go, "Okay, so open the window." I just moved the red line because they-- I

37:31 Speaker 2 never let the window open, but now they see I let the window open, and in three minutes I'm gonna have, "But we're all so hot." And that became the tipping point because until today, I said, "No one opens the windows besides Moira." So when I'm gonna make an exception, I have to identify this is a rule that Moira has, and no one is ever allowed to touch the thermostat or open a window. But right now, Moira is making a decision today only that she's opening the window, and then you do it. End of discussion. But there are times, but the minute you let, and it doesn't come couched in that type of explanation, your, your-- the tipping point has come. And if more people kvetch, we're teaching them the louder you kvetch, the louder you complain, the more you beg, the more drama, I'll give in 'cause I think I'm being kind. And you'll see students go, "We would never ask Miss So and So." Why would you never ask her but to the next one you'll complain from today till tonight?

38:34 Speaker 5 Shelet.

38:35 Speaker 2 Shelet. Okay. I wanna talk about teaching these behaviors. Teach, teach, teach. And there's a famous quote, and I'm sure you all know it. We'll say it together. If a student can't read, we... If a student can't write, we... And if a student can't behave, we punish very often. You should have known. You're a fourth grader. You should have known. That's not acceptable. Should have known is something we have to now tell ourselves. If they didn't know it, did we teach it? And we have to think to ourself, even on a high school level, and I think, um, I think, like, this is a roadblock for us. And I myself have probably thought to myself, "If I don't teach it, then there's an unspoken expectation that of course we have to do it." Well, what does that mean? If they're talking, and they know they're not supposed to talk, and I never mentioned it, I'm not getting the results I want, so I have one option right now for starters: to teach it. To let them know you all have such great ideas to share. And even if you're talking on topic, this is a classroom where I need to ensure that everyone can learn. Talking is not allowed unless you're called on. And someone will say, "But, but, but, like, they're, they're adults. They're, they're twelfth graders. They're eleventh graders." That's okay. That's okay. We have to set norms. We have to let them know what we will tolerate and what we don't tolerate. And

40:11 Speaker 2 we have to think that just because we know what we want, we also might have to think, how are we gonna say it? Um, I sometimes will ask principals, um, "You just did a dismissal of that assembly. It was chaotic. What's gonna be different next time?" So the principal will say, like, "I don't know. I, I really need them to..." So I said, "Did you ever think about teaching the school how to leave the lunchroom? Like, do it as a lesson." And I've seen principals who went home and really thought, "I have a lesson opportunity. How am I going to teach my fifth through eighth-grade girls proper procedures for how we leave a dis-- a, a, an assembly from the dining room or from the multipurpose room?" And I'm gonna teach it to them and say, "You might have noticed that it was a safety, safety hazard last Wednesday after we all left Hallel, and I'm concerned about that 'cause I want safety in this school first. So right now we're gonna spend a few minutes, and I'm gonna teach you the expectations for how we dismiss Kita Hey through Ches from our multipurpose room, our Rosh Chodesh." And I'm gonna mo-- teach it. I'm gonna tell them. I'm gonna model it. I'm gonna practice it. I'm gonna do with it what I want them to do with their lessons to make sure that it's very clear and very well known. Now, if someone breaks the rule, we'll get to that soon. But for starters,

41:46 Speaker 2 I have to know I taught it. I have to know. I always say, you know, um, there's a lot of talk, maybe not where you live, we have people from all places, but there's a lot of talk of how... Let's, let's talk about boys 'cause that's not our, um, kids. I mean, they are our kids, but we're talking about really girls' schools here. Boys, let's say, will eat at a Kiddush. And I always wondered, did anyone ever pull the boys together and say, "Let's talk about Shabbos Kiddush in our shul. Let's talk about what is acceptable, what is not acceptable. Let's practice it. Let's talk about why we want to practice it." Did any-- Or there was no, there's no Chinuch done. So there are times we have to, like, pour the cement truck of Chinuch on our children instead of just punishing, instead of just Mussar Schmoozes, instead of just consequences. Sorry, boys, no challah for you. Did anyone ever stop and say, "We're gonna be Mechanech our boys for the expectations of how we behave at a community Kiddush on Shabbos morning"? And if we do that, then we take the next steps. But we have to ask ourselves as Mechanechos, did we do step number one? Okay. So we're going to know that-- Shouldn't they know it already? Maybe they should. I don't know. But if they're not doing it, that's okay. I'm gonna teach it. Okay. Hold on. I messed up here. Okay, so we have to know and teach it.

43:22 Speaker 2 And okay, this is a piece I wanna talk about just for a few minutes. That very often, um, we will find teachers say like, "I cannot believe she said that to me. I cannot believe she said that to the principal. I heard a girl talking to her mother from the office phone. I cannot believe she spoke to her mother that way." So here we go. Do we punish or do we teach? Now, maybe twenty years, forty years ago, they didn't have to teach this way. It was move on, may you love by the adult expectations that... By the expectations adults and the fear and the era people put in the lives of children. I don't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but we have an opportunity on any grade level and any age level to teach our children something which is called the school hierarchy. That what you say to your friends, you don't say to a staff member. You don't ask Mora Dina, who's the m- assistant Mora in the classroom, if she could share her snack with you. Why not? Because she's on a different hierarchy. She's on a different level. She has different authorities in the school. You don't ask her that. You don't ask her... You don't ask a Mora why she's late. But could you ask your classmate why she's late? "I missed you. Why are you late? You had your cousin's bris?" That's okay. Okay? We need to teach them this concept that there's

45:09 Speaker 2 a hierarchy. There's things we do say and don't say to different people. Someone just-- someone told me that, um, their husband was standing near a great Rosh Yeshiva, and a kid who was visiting the town went over to the Rosh Yeshiva to ask him a question. And he asked him the question, and in the conversation, he, like, gave him another answer to why he didn't think his answer was right. And to the Rosh Yeshiva's face, this kid said, "Busted." How do we get to that? How do we get to that? You know how we got to that? Because maybe we never poured the Chinuch cement truck on teaching hierarchy. And, and my father, Zechariah, he used to always tell his grandchildren, "You don't call me guys. I'm not a guy. 'Hey, guys, what time are we go-- what time are we going on the trip?' Guys, I'm a Zaide." And to Zaide, there's a little more respectable way that we talk. We don't say, "Guys." And some, you know, kids might roll their eyes, and kids might think you're just not with the program. You know what? I don't have to be with the program because I am not on your level of hierarchy. You could say guys to your friends, "Hey, you. What's up?" You don't... And if we teach hierarchy, we eventually can explain to them why we say certain things to a different Hanha-- Uh, you say certain things to a staff member, but you might not say it to the Menahelis.

46:37 Speaker 2 You don't... You know, if a kid walks over to the Menahelis in the lunchroom and says, "Is there indoor recess or outdoor recess today? I wanna know she's coming from Amora. She's not just coming on her own. Am I the information desk?" So we teach them about the hierarchy, and we tell them that we talk to the Avos Sheb with such kavod. There are things we would never, ever do in a shul. There's Halakhahs of how we behave in a shul because in front of the Avos Sheb we have certain Minhagim and Midots that we have to act because he is the Melech Malchei Hamelachim. Because there's a hierarchy of who we live and say what to, and we constantly bring this in and remind this-- them of it, and we're not embarrassed of it, and it's not for our kavod. You know why? It's pouring that cement Chinuch truck on them, which is going to help them become part of this kind, firm environment because the expectations are clear. And then no one's gonna say, "Mora, can I call you tonight to remind you because you forgot the last three days?" No, we don't call Mora. Or you do call Mora, depending on your culture. I'll let everyone decide for themself. Okay, um, I wanna get to event... I wanna work a little faster to get to what do we do when it's not working right. It's what sometimes we taught, and sometimes I wanna just say this statement, which is another mindset. I

48:01 Speaker 2 stuck two mindsets here is that we love these kids, and sometimes we have to use some corrective approach, but we want it to be the least invasive possible. We don't wanna hurt them. We want it to be the least invasive possible just to correct the behaviors, and we want it to almost accomplish with minimal damage. We just want to realign them. We want them to come to terms that what they said is wrong and a quick apology and a quick reframe is all good because our mindset is we don't wanna hurt you. We don't want you to think you're a worm. We don't want you to not have self-confidence. We don't want you to go home and never come back. It's okay. We all make mistakes, but it's my job as the Chinuch cement truck to tell it to you and to help you fix it. And the, the way we remember that is we think of the following: handling misbehavior in a way that takes the least amount of time, the least amount of effort, the least amount of unpleasant feeling tone, and the least amount of disruption to the learning environment. And I think of the muster speeches. Is-- How, how does that fit in here? The least amount of disruption to the learning environment. We want things to be fast, quick, non-invasive for the sake of we are the adults in their life, and we wanna reroute them to the right place because it's our job to teach them and to let

49:40 Speaker 2 them know that what they did is not part of how we operate because that's kind. Yes. Yeah, we're gonna, we're, we're gonna get there. I'm just-- These are the mindsets we have to have, and I'm gonna tell you how to do it, but I'm-- I wanna, I wanna move a little faster, and, um, and we'll get there. So... Hold on. Next. Okay. So to do-- Before we can get to the corrective measures, and I'm gonna do this fast 'cause I wanna make sure I have time for the corrective measures, is we have to think of this formula. Nobody can be in a punitive environment that's constantly mandating rules. It's very unhealthy. A friend of mine told me that one Friday morning, she woke up her daughter, and her daughter said, "Ugh, it's Friday." She said, "What's wrong with Friday?" She goes, "I hate Friday." So she said, "Why do you hate Friday?" She says, "'Cause it's Erev Shabbos." She said, "What's wrong with Erev Shabbos?" "All we do is bark around this house. All everyone does is just give commands. Do this, take out that, why you not here? Why I don't hear the vacuum? Your room's still not clean." And it was like an aha for her. I have a home that on Fridays is five vinegars. I said, "But what do you mean? I give a Erev Shabbos candy." That's one sugar to five vinegars. Our formula needs to be five sugars to one vinegar. When something's not working right, we have an

51:23 Speaker 2 opportunity and a, and a, a, and a Zerah crisis to help fix it. But we have to stop and say, what is the culture of this room? And is it positive? And is my room a bunch of don't, so this, turn around, put back, you're using a red pen, I said a blue pen, stop talking, why are you touching your hair, why are you looking at her? All eyes on me, nobody look in the back, nobody look at their watch. Whoa! I don't wanna be in that room. Is it a nurturing, upbeat, complimentary environment that I wanna be in? So for a few minutes, let's talk about the positive. The pos-- Some teachers say, "I can't even, I can't even get a nice compliment out 'cause, like, there's so much distraction and there's so much movement." And so the first thing I wanna say is when we feel like we wanna pump the air with positivity, if we give them quiet work, I could walk around the room complimenting. I could literally say, "Now everyone take out their journals, and you're gonna be writing." And then I have opportunity to go around and say, "Shawnee, I know you were absent the last two days. We'll catch you up. Don't worry. Good. I see you're helping her. I noticed you brought her a pencil. Nice job. Keith and Gimel, look how you're all working. Look how you're all thinking." I don't wanna do too much narration to distract them, but this is where I find them

52:45 Speaker 2 doing something quiet, or I could use packets, and I'm doing less frontal teaching, and I'm using that quiet time intentionally to pump positive energy in the room because I can't start the corrective unless I have worked on pumping the air with positivity. And that friend of mine told me she switched her Erev Shabbos. She said, "Yes, I was internally chaotic, which brought me to externally chaotic, which all I was doing was being corrective, corrective, corrective." And she switched to Erev Shabbos, said she could have five candies to one vinegar. Okay. And then I'll have teachers who will say, "But I don't know how to give compliments." So you know what? It's time to learn. And our compliments have to be genuine. We have to truly feel it. I want you girls to know we just had winter break, and when I woke up this morning, I was saying, "Oh, I'm excited to be back in Seven B." There's such creativity, such life, such passion in this classroom. And it has to be genuine, positive, and specific. That's the GPS to pumping positivity into our classroom. I tell teachers... Sometimes teachers will say, "But it's not my thing. I'm not that type." You know, it has-- Y-you could keep it within limits and, and you do it, but it has to happen. Practice it, write it on your notes, find the words, find sentence starters, reward yourself. I say, "If you gave six true, real, genuine, positive, specific compliments to your class today, go home, and

54:29 Speaker 2 on the way home, buy yourself a Slurpee." Because that's something you're working on, and that's your avoda to think, how are you going to bring positivity to your room because you wanna create this environment. Okay. Let's talk about the corrective measures. I want to talk about this because I want you to look at this picture for a second, and I'll give you some background to the picture. Imagine that, um, you were chosen to host some Hashgachah person for a Shabbos suda. Okay? And they were chosen to come to your house. And you have a son who's seven years old, who can sometimes be difficult. And you said to this seven-year-old son, "This special Hashgachah person's coming for the Friday night suda to our house. It's really important that we behave, and we say things that are appropriate, and we let him share his Divrei Torah, and he talks." Do we want that boy at that table? Do we want him there? Yes. We truly want him there. What do you mean? It's opportunity for my seven-year-old son to be exposed to this special person. I want him there. Are, are there reasons why I, why I might have to ask him to leave? Yeah, if he says something inappropriate or he's completely off. So imagine I'm now sitting at the table, and Moishi starts pulling at the tablecloth And I'm watching this interaction. Do I still want him to be there? Can he continue his behavior? No. Why? This is not about me taking it

56:15 Speaker 2 personally, but we're sitting with Adam Gadot. Moishy continues to pull out the tablecloth. It's gonna cause the drinks to f-fall, the, the coast to spill, the everything to break. I can't allow it to s-- I-- he cannot pull out the tablecloth. So right now I have a decision to make. How do I correct Moishy's behavior, but what? I still want him... What's the goal? I could easily say, "Moishy, go up to your room." But that's not what I want. I want Moishy there. So we use a, a rule which is, first of all, we have to stay calm because Moishy's gonna press our buttons and continue pulling at it if he feels that I am wound up or nervous or stressed. And then we have to give ourself the following formula, and there's a power in this concept called non-verbal. Are there things I could motion or do without saying anything to Moishy to get him to stop pulling at the tablecloth? Yes. Yeah? Like what? Nonverbal. Nonverbal. Without words. I, I could touch him. I could show him, "No." I could hold the tablecloth. I could give him a little look. I could-- H-He's my son. I could pat his shoulder. I could take his hand and hold it closer to me if I'm in vicinity. Non-verbal. I so badly want Moishy to stay there. My goal is not that Moishy should leave. Let's try to have this mindset when we talk about our difficult students. We want them there. The minute they're not

58:00 Speaker 2 there, there's no learning. So we have to ask ourself, what could I do now? If I had more time, if we were at a smaller workshop, I've done this in schools where we sit as teachers, and we write ten, fifteen brainstorming non-verbal things we could do to still have classroom control. And I-- Oh, Tada. Hi, nice to meet you, Chami Levitansky. Okay. So I want us to, to think on our grade level, on our student level, what could-- are non-verbal things we could do as teachers before we have to say the dreaded words, "I need you to leave my classroom." Isn't there shouldn't be a whole bunch of... Some teachers tell me, sorry to interrupt you again. Some teachers tell me that in the moment when they're faced with a challenge, their mind goes completely blank, and they have nothing in their toolbox besides, "I need you to leave my classroom." So, but we know that's a challenge. Let's build our toolbox and let's start with non-verbal. What could I say or do to distract Moishy from pulling the tablecloth? 'Cause the end goal is I really, really want Moishy to be there with his Rosh Hashana present. And really, end goal is I want every one of my students to be in the classroom with me as their teacher for Rosh Hashana. Non-verbal. The first thing I, I, I, I get Moishy's eye, eye, and say, "Why are you-- I can't have you looking like that." Doesn't help. Moishy's still pulling at the tablecloth.

59:35 Speaker 2 So I walk around, I touch, "You have to go back to your place." I touch Moishy's ha-- I touch Moishy's hand, I move it. Non-verbal. It's still a problem. What do I do now? It's still-- Moishy is still tugging at this tablecloth. At this point, I have to do something. So at this point, I say, "Moishy," and non-invasive. Can I get h-- Can I just say his name? "Moishy." And he's not stopping. He heard his name. He knows what he's doing wrong. And without embarrassing him, at the next thing I might have to do is call Moishy to the kitchen, and in a whisper, in a non-invasive way, I want him back with the least amount of drama. I don't wanna have to upset the whole flow of this beautiful Shabbos table. I say, "Moishy, I really want you to be able to stay with the Rosh Hashiva. What are you gonna do to stop pulling the tablecloth?" And I have a conversation. I don't start getting emotional. "Do you know how hard I worked for this soda? And now you're ruining it, and I can't..." It's not, "Moishy, I really want you there. What are you gonna do so you can behave? I see you're pulling at the tablecloth. Do you, do you wanna be there, Moishy?" "Yeah, I wanna be there." "Mo-- I, I wa-- So if you don't wanna be there, you're making it very clear you don't wanna be there. Maybe I should think, why does he have to be there?"

1:01:00 Speaker 2 But it's, it's, it's non-emotional conf-- I-in a s-- in a classroom environment, I say, "I want you there. You add a lot to our classroom. This is where I want you there. This is where you need to be, and I wanna do whatever I can to get you back there. Chaya, how are things gonna be different tomorrow? What ideas can you come up with that I could have you in the classroom? 'Cause there was-- Uh, s-- you know what, Chaya? Let's brainstorm together. Do you think we should get more help in brainstorming this together?" But the minute it's non-- it's, it's a conversation and it's a communication without the emotion, without them taking it personally, the message, "Chaya, I want you in the classroom. I really don't want you to have to spend all fifth grade in the office. What could you do with me to make sure that we don't have a repeat of today's behavior?" Okay, I wanna move on to talk about non-verbal, verbal, and we have to think through what we're gonna do to make sure that we pull out the non-verbal. I suspect, and you can tell me if I'm wrong, that non-verbal doesn't exist Because right away we sometimes go to verbal. So let's enlarge our non-verbal list. Let's come up, and I tell teachers that I work with, print it out and put it within hand's reach of your notes. It's just as important as your explanation of your notes of the content you're teaching. Because when you're

1:02:27 Speaker 2 disturbed and when it's starting to get in your face, your mind goes blank. So ask yourself, maybe I could use her na-- her name in a, in a, in a, in a story. Maybe I could think about something specific that I know she's interested in, and I could stop right there and go, "Honey, you once told us you love animals. Give us an example of an animal you love." And then pull her in from there. She might stop tugging at the tablecloth or doing in a classroom an annoying behavior that's bothering us and that's stopping us. But the goal is we want her there. So we ask ourself... Yes.

1:03:06 Speaker 6 Just want to share something that happened to me. A year ago, a student had a meltdown. She started screaming. Anyway, I don't want to be in the room. I don't want to be here. So I thought for a second, and I said, "Well, guess what? I don't really want to be here at this point of the day either. So why don't we just talk about what you need to work on?" And then she calmed down.

1:03:28 Speaker 2 She said-

1:03:29 Speaker 6 She did.

1:03:29 Speaker 2 She said it. She got to say what she needed to say. I think so much of your reaction is why she went back on track.

1:03:37 Speaker 6 That's what she said.

1:03:39 Speaker 2 Okay. Now, I'll tell you what, I, I just have to say in defense for all of us, we work so hard. And when, when, when we're challenged, we, we take it personally. I, I worked-- So I was up till three in the morning working on this worksheet, designing this activity, coming up with this creative chazara, and now o-o-o-of course, I'm going to take it personally. But we have to ask ourself, it's a Chinuch opportunity. We are the adult. How can we respond in a way that's effective that they stay here? We're not getting into a power struggle because we stayed up till two in the morning. Maybe we shouldn't have stayed up till two in the morning. Maybe it's more important we had more sleep, and we have more patience and more understanding and more validation for our students. Okay, I wanna, um, I'm watching the time, and I just wanna talk about this, um, it's, it's, it's really, uh, Derech Eretz expectations. When we talk about clear expectations, um, we sometimes don't even know what we're asking. This winter, um, Term Isura ran a series called From Chaos to Calm. How many of you watched part of it? So a bunch of you said. So it was very interesting. We had over a thousand people sign up for it, and one of the questions we asked the participants is, "What's your struggle? What's your struggle?" And we did a count, and we had hundreds of teachers who said, "Chutzpah. Chutzpah." And we asked ourself,

1:05:06 Speaker 2 what is chutzpah? And we did a long, deep dive into, do students even know what chutzpah is, or it's just a word that we could throw out at them whenever we're frustrated? That's chutzpah. That's chutzpah. What, what's chutzpah? Do we ever teach what is chutzpah? Do we ever teach what is chutzpah? And with my colleagues, and I have to give them credit, Mrs. Zimmerman and Mrs. Stefanski at Term Isura, um, we came up with this blueprint, which is we have to know and teach what is chutzpah, and we have to teach on all levels that when you say something negative about something Morah just said, that's chutzpah. When you say the opposite, that's chutzpah. If I say, um, um, "Now, we are all gonna take out our, um, Dikduk Machbaros," and someone goes, "I'm not taking it out." That's the opposite of what Morah just said we have to do. And Morah's on a different hierarchy than you are, and you need to listen to Morah. And when you do the opposite of what Morah says, that's chutzpah. The third thing is if you say or t-- or say something personal. Now, this varies. You have to know, I lived out of town. I now live in town. It's very cultural what's personal, what's not personal. But imagine saying a line like, "You wore that outfit already two days ago." And we say to a girl, "That's chutzpah." Why? What'd I do? I just told her she wore it two days ago. You ever have

1:06:38 Speaker 2 that type of conversation with a child? Because that's chutzpah. Because you're talking about something personal. Touching Morah's tape on her desk is touching something personal or saying something personal falls under the category of chutzpah. And the third thing we have to teach is that we never command someone hi-- in a higher hierarchy to do something. We don't say, "Take it there," or, "Give this to them." We ask, and we very easily could just teach them. We don't command. We ask. Now, when we know and when we have clarity on what is chutzpah, we could teach it. We don't just punish for it. And we could teach a student why what they said it or did falls under the negative, the opposite, the personal, or the command. And once we have the language and the examples, and we've taught it, we can say, "Mamala, in a conversation, when you said, 'I'm not doing the math homework,' and ripped it up in front of Morah, why is that chutzpah? Think of the definitions we gave for chutzpah. Where does that fall under? Why would Morah say that's a chutzpah comment? Let's have a conversation. What are we gonna do about it? How can we help you overcome this? Because you are a Bala Ster Acharetz, and I want to make sure that this type of behavior does not continue for you." But once we narrow it and we give it a definition And we teach it. We have with what to use the words and, and, and

1:08:12 Speaker 2 follow up on. So let me ask you before we begin-- before we go anywhere, do we understand why mi-- our own mindsets are important? Say yes louder so the Zoomers can hear you. Yes.

1:08:26 Speaker 7 Yes.

1:08:26 Speaker 2 Do... Are we gonna think long and hard of what we do allow and we don't allow within our own classrooms? Yeah. Is it gonna be the same for everyone? No, but at least I'll have clarity myself. Do we need to stop and teach expectations on all age and grade levels? Yes. And if you don't wanna call them expectations 'cause you... You can call them norms. You know, I've been to many adult classes, and a high school teacher said, "I just wanna, I wanna, I wanna remind everyone of our classroom norms." You know, I was with a bunch of adults at a training, and the professor got up and reviewed the classroom norms. I didn't feel spoken down to. I felt very validated 'cause this is gonna be clear, and kind is clear, and clear is kind, and I wanna be part of a training that's clear. Did we discuss how we could infuse the air in the room with positivity?

1:09:19 Speaker 7 Yes.

1:09:19 Speaker 2 And corrective. I'm not foolish enough to ever believe that just positivity alone can do it. Uh, we have some real keichas out there, some real techtich, amazing future leaders. But today they are challenging, um, children who really test and misbehave, and there are many times we need to remind them of the expectation, and we're not scared of it, and we're gonna correct them. Non-verbal, non-verbal, verbal conversation. That's our formula. Did you learn anything today?

1:09:56 Speaker 7 Yeah.

1:09:56 Speaker 2 Good. Can I ask you all to jot down one takeaway that if you meet someone in the hallway, she says, "Oh, Levitansky spoke. Who is she? What'd she teach you?" What's the one go-to you're gonna say that you learned from today's session? Jot it down, please. And I have to tell you one thought, and then, um, we're gonna close up. What-- Zoomers, one takeaway. You wanna put it in the chat? I feel for our Zoomers. They're amazing. They're, they're sitting there and learning and yeah. One takeaway. Go ahead.

1:10:28 Speaker 7 I just want to say .

1:10:28 Speaker 2 Just one second. I want everyone to hear you, especially if it's a compliment. Yeah.

1:10:31 Speaker 7 Yeah. You mentioned at, at your conference that, um, for years it's your sister-

1:10:39 Speaker 2 Oh, my sister

1:10:40 Speaker 7 ... in Valley, and she come back with me every noon, so it's great. And I have a girl whose father never went to jail this year, and this year she started wearing a hug 'cause we all wear hugs to school. It's not allowed. Why? 'Cause everyone's gotta wear a hug. So I was just very nice to her, and come back with bruises on her little face. She said, "No, not exactly." I said, "Oh, okay," and I said, "I'm gonna let it go." Well, the next day she came with a bruise on the other foot. So I said, "Oh, I don't know why you always have these bruises. One foot had a hug, and now you have a bruise on this one. What happened?" She said, "It's just hurting me all over." I said, "I'm so sorry to hear it." The third day, I'm in the hallway walking to the principal's office, and I see her best friend in sixth grade in the same getup. And I'm like, "You see, she got you. You were kind. You kept going on kindness, and now they're making a shofah." So far, she hasn't been here.

1:11:40 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

1:11:40 Speaker 7 And it's not-

1:11:42 Speaker 2 That's right. And, and I think you would, um, res-

1:11:46 Speaker 7 No matter what you do, you still fuck with the rules and you can't always win.

1:11:49 Speaker 2 There's no-- Listen, we try our best. I, I make lots of mistakes. We all make lots of mistakes. Mistakes is up here to stay. There's no one perfect besides the Abishter. And if someone wants to fire us over our mistakes, we'll get fired. We'll do the best we can with the tools we have. Another comment? Yes.

1:12:09 Speaker 7 That's a good question. But wait. And what's the thing you should ask them? So we're supposed to... I feel like it's a learn together.

1:12:16 Speaker 2 Uh, so we can, we can fl-flip it. We want this to be a Derech Eretz environment. What, uh, what are behaviors that don't show Derech Eretz or behaviors that do show Derech Eretz? Let's flip it to the positive. But I think for ourselves, when I saw hundreds of teachers write chutzpah, I'm like, "Wait, what is that word?" I actually thought it was an old-fashioned word. I didn't even know we use it today anymore. Ladies, I wanna just bentch you. You should all take your incredible keichas, have strong classrooms, love those children, nurture those children, continue doing your great work. You are the soldiers on the field that are building the future Benot Yisrael, and we are forever indebted to you for all your great work. Hatslacha rabba. Question on the Zoom.

1:12:58 Speaker 7 So how do you kind of cool students when they talk a lot? Yeah. The teacher talks.

1:13:04 Speaker 2 Um, set the expectation. Set the ex-- I love that they talk. Talking is how we, uh, very often interact. There will be times to talk. There'll be times that we don't talk. In this class, there's no talking when I talk. We talk with permission. We have to just say it. Yeah.

1:13:21 Speaker 7 You know that. It's not impossible for this all to change. You have to think-

1:13:25 Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm gonna stop you. You'll ask me. Hatslacha, ladies. Go ahead.

1:13:30 Speaker 7 Thank you for listening. Wishing you much hatslacha in your vital shlichas.