Ep. 71: My Father, The Rebbe's Doctor with Rabbi Raleigh Resnick

00:00 Speaker 1 My father got into a taxi. Actually, the taxi driver wound up being an ex-race car driver. My father gave him a, a big tip and said, "I really need to get to, uh, Crown Heights as soon as possible." My father got there before the ambulance arrived, and, uh, from that day, uh, obviously things were very, very different. But, but that whole period of the gezunt, it really developed within each and every one of us a love, a care, a concern, a yearning to see the Rebbe. I mean, the topic of conversation was, "How is the Rebbe doing? What's going on?"

00:30 Speaker 2 I'm Yossi Kamen. Welcome to Among Chassidim By Der Her, an ongoing fabrengen about life as a Chassid, our vibrant connection with the Rebbe, and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. Shalom Aleichem, Rabbi Reznik. How are you?

00:48 Speaker 1 Aleichem Shalom. Thank you very much. Thank you.

00:52 Speaker 2 Okay, perfect. Um, so we're getting closer to Rosh Chodesh Kislev, and, uh, when this is aired, it'll be the week of Rosh Chodesh Kislev. And your father actually plays, uh, an important role in, uh, in the story of the Rebbe and Rosh Chodesh Kislev and the Rebbe's gezunt, as your father was, uh, one of the Rebbe's doctors. Um, so let's begin. And how did this all be- all begin? What's your family's connection to the Rebbe, to Lubavitch before, and how did this all develop? Let's begin that way.

01:28 Speaker 1 Okay, thank you. " Yom Ha'ilan hazkar ve'nasim" by us talking about it, hopefully we recreate and create the geulah and the gezunt. So, uh, my father grew up, uh, 1950s America, uh, Orthodoxy, lived in Chicago, um, was enamored of, uh, Rabbi Hecht, alav ha-shalom, the first Rebbe Shliach to Chicago. Uh, always would tell me about his speeches and about his brilliance. Um, also, they had a, a connection with, uh, some of the other Lubavitchers there. Uh, Rabbi Schusterman, I think my grandparents belonged to a, a couples club that was at Bnei Reuven of Rabbi Schusterman. Uh, and, uh, my father went to public school, uh, was in cheder every day. Uh, Mr. Moscowitz was his first Gemara teacher, the father of the head shliach, alav ha-shalom, the grandparents. Uh, so a, a regular Chicago Jewish family. And my father, uh, started-- That was his connection. He had a cousin, Dr. Levi Lev. I don't know if you see any of the, uh, yumanim that have, uh, the diaries that have his name, a cousin who became connected to Lubavitch through the Groners. So he had a personal connection. He had been to a few fabregens here and there. And then I guess that takes us to, uh, taf shin lamed tes, to nineteen seventy-seven, when, uh, it began. Now, so, uh, my father was a smart young man. He was actually the youngest doctor in the country, announced by Walter Cronkite as the youngest doctor in the country that, uh, that year. And, uh, he

02:53 Speaker 1 had managed to, uh, try to avoid the draft, but this is post-Vietnam. There's still a draft in America, and he was drafted as a, a United States Army doctor running a CRC, a clinical research center at Tripler Army Hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii. He was-

03:10 Speaker 2 What type of doctor was he?

03:12 Speaker 1 So my father's specialty was hypertension, high blood pressure. Uh, he was a specialist in, um, endocrinology, but actually the field of hypertension was becoming an official field. He was the editor eventually of the American Society of Hypertension Journal, and that was his specialty, where he spent many years at, uh, Cornell and in Michigan and other places as well. And, uh, he gets a call. He gets a call from Rabbi Groner telling him what had happened. Uh, and my father was as helpful as he thought he could be. Uh, Dr. Weiss, who was a, a doctor from Chicago, my father was in Howie Weiss's class, Dr. Weiss's brother, also a doctor. And, uh, so he sort of thought he was as helpful as he could be, giving names, giving suggestions, and that he thought would be the end of his, uh, professional involvement, if you will, with, uh, Lubavitch and with the Rebbe. But, uh, as the story goes, and my father told this story at the Kinus when he spoke there a few months before he was nifter. Um, the next Shabbos, he was in New York. He had to be at a conference in Montreal, and after that, a conference in Washington, DC. Uh, between the two, Parashat Noach, uh, a week plus after the heart attack, he was in Crown Heights. Now, at the time, uh, the Rebbe-

04:22 Speaker 2 What was he do- what was he doing in Crown Heights?

04:24 Speaker 1 So he came to New York, and they-- And he was, he was-- Rabbi Groner, I guess, had brought him to New York, had brought him to Crown Heights to be there and to be involved, uh, in some capacity, uh, just to be there. And as we know, the Rebbe did not leave, go to the hospital. Uh, and my father was there. And at the time, all the doctors who were there had practices. They had families. They had to get home, and they needed somebody to be staying in Seven seventy at the time to treat the Rebbe. And for reasons that are a little bit beyond right now, the Rebbe, they felt, and the Rebbe felt that my father would be the right one to do that. Uh, and they were having a hard time. And the Rebbe, uh, in general, I'm not to say-- I don't know what, how we can talk this way about the Rebbe, but he was-- didn't like doctors very much. He wanted to, the Rebbe wanted to be Rebbe and wanted to be the Rebbe for Kol Yisrael, and anybody who was interfering was, you know, not... And for whatever reason, it clicked, and it worked. And, uh, so they said, uh, "Would you be willing to stay?" That's what they asked my father. And my father said, "It would be an honor. There's a slight problem. I'm in the Army, and if I overstay my leave of absence, I'm gonna be court-martialed, which means I'm gonna be put in

05:26 Speaker 1 prison." So Lubavitcher said, "Don't worry. We'll take care of it." My father didn't know at the time when Lubavitcher say that, that means they have no idea what they're gonna do. My father told me the f- the first article in Kfar Chabad about him was that he was the best cardiaci- car- cardiac surgeon in the country. My father's not a cardiologist, not a, not a surgeon, um, but whatever. Anyway, so he soon learned, uh, a little bit more, but he was more naive at the time. And, uh, he was there at the, in Seven seventy, and, uh, Lubavitchers are getting to work on it. Uh, Rabbi Avraham Moshe Tzelzel zayng gezunt was working. Uh, they had connections with Scoop Jackson, who was from Washington, was a good friend of, uh, of, of, of Israel. Uh, they had connections in the Pentagon. But that year of seventy-seven, lamed tes, that was the year that the draft stopped. So they didn't wanna let anybody out, 'cause if you let someone out, then there's no one to replace them with. Um, so they're working on this, and they're not really having much success. And one day my father gets a call in the maskirus office, the secretary's office, which, uh, all the maskirus used to be on the first door right when you walk into seven seventy on the right. And someone said, "There's a call for you on the, uh, yellow rotary phone." Um, now that phone was not a phone that really was a public number.

06:35 Speaker 1 Phone calls, phones would always ring in Crown-- in, in the Rebbe's office, you know, asking for bracha, for advice, for counsel. Maskirus, either you answer it or you don't. But when that phone rang, you answered it because very few people kn-knew the number to that line. And usually it was the rebbetzin. The rebbetzin would call numerous times a day asking for a prog-progress report, how things are going, et cetera. And my father tells, "Hey, you have a phone call on that phone." And he picks up the phone expecting to hear the rebbetzin's voice. And, uh, on the other end of is Hamilton Jordan's office, Chief of Staff to the President of the United States of America, President Jimmy Carter. And using a couple of four-letter words, the guy says, "Who are you? And why should we do this for you? And if you don't come back to your post, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot." I always say my father never told me what it was. I just heard the story as dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. So I don't know what he actually said. Uh, and my father, I guess things come to your mind at certain times, and, uh, I'll use the words Lahav Dil, Alef Havdalis, La Enket. My father told the, the man and said, "If the Pope, Lahav Dil, Alef Havdalis, would have asked for a United States Army doctor to take care of him, you would hold a press conference. You would think it's a big deal. Well, for the

07:38 Speaker 1 Jewish people, Lahav Dil, this is the same thing." And the result of that phone call was not that my father was let out of the Army, the, but that by United States Army orders, he was transferred from Honolulu, Hawaii, to seven seventy Eastern Parkway. He moved from a three-bedroom condo in Honolulu to Rav Dovid Rostan's office, which is a little bit smaller. And, uh, he, uh, then lived in seven seventy. They set up a, uh, buzzer system where they taught the maskirus how to look at the EKG machines to see if there'd be any, uh, irregular, uh, any reason for concern, and they would sort of buzz. And, uh, my father lived there until the day that we're celebrating now, Rosh Chodesh Kislev. And, uh, that was, uh, the beginning of the reason I'm sitting here and the reason that, uh, my family has this incredible zchus. N-not, not, not, not of my merit, but of the fact that, uh, my father had this tremendous zchus to be there with the Rebbe from that point, uh, as a, as a doctor.

08:31 Speaker 2 Amazing. So your father at the time, I'm imagining that he was single at the time.

08:38 Speaker 1 My father was single, yes.

08:39 Speaker 2 And that's part of the reason why he was a good candidate to, to, to be there all the time.

08:44 Speaker 1 Yes. He, yes, but, but he didn't have a-- I guess you could say he didn't have a family and a job. He was working for the army, and he didn't have a, a wife. Yes, exactly.

08:50 Speaker 2 Right.

08:50 Speaker 1 And that as soon as, and as soon as he came to Crown Heights, immediately, first of all, he's sitting around there even after the-- We can talk about Rosh Chodesh Kislev, we can go back and forward. But even there, he's living in Crown Heights. He moved from, uh, Rosh Chodesh Kislev. He moved into Rabbi, uh, Mrs. Klein on Eastern Parkway, their front room of their house. He moved into that room. Then he eventually rented a basement from Ari Hitrick. Um, so he lived in Crown Heights for quite some time. And while he's there, so first of all, there's a young, uh, there's a bachur around, so immediately they set him up with chavruses, Rav Rami Feglashock and Itche Grifkin. He would learn. And, uh, along the way, they of course were, were-- One, I, I don't know if this was a side benefit or a fringe benefit or one of the agendas was if they had a question or something that they were hoping that my father would, you know, ask the Rebbe. Some of those are, some of those are, are printed in, in some places. But, uh, as he was learning it, those were the Halakhim Hei, Vav, Zayin, Ches, Tes that were, were coming out at that time. Those are the sichas that he learned. And so he was literally around Crown Heights for, uh, quite a while.

09:45 Speaker 2 Okay. So there, there's a lot of stories with doctors from that period. Um, the Rebbe told them certain things, or they asked the Rebbe certain things. Are, are there any specific things that your father would say, interactions that he had with the Rebbe during that, uh, period?

10:03 Speaker 1 So as far-- As long as I can remember, that would be the question that everyone would always ask my father: "Tell us a story. Tell us a story. Tell us a story." And my father was, uh, was... And, and, and he really-- But he meant this, and I think it's import-- He, he always felt that him being there, the reason he was there, he was there as a doctor. That was his excuse for being there. So any times you would say, "Can you ask the Rebbe this?" Go, "That's not-- I'm not, I'm not here to, to be... I'm there in one role, in one capacity as a doctor." I even remember after Run Base, I'd ask my father, "Can you tell the Rebbe this? Tell the Rebbe..." "I'm there. I'm not here to say I'm the-- I have a role." And my father took that role very seriously, and I think actually the Rebbe very much appreciated him, uh, for that, that he was not playing the role, if you will, as Hasid, but he was in his role as doctor. So, you know, and, and I think this would happen many times, and you can look. Um, nowadays, the bachur know a lot more about everything than, than, than, than the people who were there. I wasn't there at the time, of course. Um, but many, many times, of course, there'd be these interactions where the Rebbe's heart, after a heart attack, you need time to recuperate and to strengthen yourself. And the Rebbe

10:56 Speaker 1 wanted nothing more than to be the Rebbe for Klal Yisrael and to be there for chassidim. And as so many answers are, the Rebbe told the doctor so many times that my chayas comes from answering letters and from being, and from delivering sichas and maimarim. But I'm-- They-- But the doctor's role was always to limit that. And my father always said it's a good thing he wasn't in the hospital, 'cause if he was in the hospital, I would be in charge, and I could grab the mic away 'cause I'm supposed to be a doctor there. But he was surrounded by his people, and they didn't let that happen. And, and from what I understand, from accounts I've heard, it sometimes got heated. And I think that's beautiful in a, in a certain way because, uh, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's-- And, and they would say, "You know, you can speak for fifteen minutes." "Okay, let-" And sometimes my father would say, we'd have a negotiation, seven minutes, ten. There'd be a little negotiation, and we'd settle on a number, whatever the number was. And then the Rebbe would be Rebbe and give a sicha and a maimar, and the, the clock would keep ticking. Um, so-

11:43 Speaker 2 You're talking, you're talking about in the weeks when the Rebbe did it, uh, from his room, the Rebbe spoke from his room.

11:48 Speaker 1 Right. Yes, we should clarify. So the Rebbe did not come down. Right. So the Rebbe would deliver a sicha Motzei Shabbos or a maimar Motzei Shabbos from his room. That would be the, that would be the address. Um, and, uh, even thereafter, famously on Yut Asch Kislev, it was, uh, the first time that the Rebbe actually spoke and, and, and, and delivered a full farbrengen. And unbeknownst to the crowd at the time, I, as I understand, they, they connected a monitor so that, uh, they would-- They-- The, the pages would be printing upstairs. It's not today- ... things digital, and they would bring it down to, uh, my father and Dr. Weiss who were down there, and they would sort of see how, how it was going. And evidently, uh, during the sichas it was, it was scary. It was actually scary because it was having an adverse effect biologically, physiologically on the Rebbe. And then of course famously during the ma'amar, the heartbeat was completely normal. All the extra heartbeats completely disappeared. It was literally as if the Rebbe was in a totally different frame. And just, just to, for us as Chassidim to know that there's a real difference. When the Rebbe says a ma'amar, it's, it's, it's literally not just spiritually, it's literally a different, a, a, a different koach. Um, and, uh, uh, one of the last, like, speeches my father delivered was at the Kinus Hashlachim and, and it was twenty-six years after Lamed Heh. And the Rebbe said... And,

12:54 Speaker 1 and my father said, "You know, at the time, there's no question that it had an impact." But ultimately, he was the Rebbe, and ultimately the Rebbe is not limited... And, and for my, to hear my father say that I think was so beautiful. Of course, we as Chassidim always talk about the fact that the Rebbe is not limited by, by, by, by, by the limitations of, of, of a guf. But when, when ultimately both things are true, the Rebbe obviously lives within the confines of time and space, but ultimately in the long run, it had no impact and no effect, and the Rebbe was able to continue on strong.

13:19 Speaker 2 So even though at the time when the doctors were pushing it, the Rebbe shouldn't speak so long, et cetera, there were effects.

13:25 Speaker 1 And then now, and not only that, my father would tell me it actually affected the heart. It actually-

13:28 Speaker 2 Right

13:29 Speaker 1 ... it, whatever, I'm not, I'm not a physician, but whatever effect and impact, and actually it actually bruised the heart. But ultimately, the Aibishter runs the world, and ulti-ultimately, we, we, we, we were able to have y- the greatest years. And, and, and the reason I, I was, I merited that is because of today, because of, because of Rosh Chodesh Kislev, because of, because of this Yom Tov. Um, th-that's the reason that, uh, I, I merited so much and, and, and Klal Yisrael. So, uh, yeah. So my father was there. A-after the heart attack, though, um, even after... Sorry, after Rosh Chodesh Kislev, the Rebbe went home, that's true. But the Rebbe continued, uh, "You need to continue." So first of all, before Rosh Chodesh Kislev, the Rebbe would like walk up and down the stairs right in front of his room, and then walk down the hallway and back and forth. And then even continuing after that, the Rebbe would walk first a block from his house to Seven Seventy, then two blocks, and either Rabbi Klein or Rabbi Krinsky would be sort of driving along, uh, next to. And my father had the zechus to spend hours and hours and hours and hours walking with the Rebbe back and forth from, to and from his home. And I would ask my father what, what they discussed. And many times he would say, "It wasn't my business to interrupt the Rebbe's train of thoughts." And m-most of the time, from what I understand, not

14:30 Speaker 1 necessarily was there a conversation. It wasn't for my father to interrupt. But a few here and there. One time my father when a- after one, after seeing a farbrengen or two, my father wanted to know from the Rebbe how, who, who sort of runs the farbrengen? Is there a format for farbrengens? How many sichas? How many ma'amarim? Which nigunim are sa- are sung? How long the nigunim are? You know, maybe, you know, going back generations, there's some format and way. And I think it was on the corner of, uh, uh, President and New York, and the Rebbe turned around to my father with a big smile and said, "I do that. That, that's my job. I run the farbrengens." So I mean, there are these, there are these interactions, which by the way is a beautiful message for us. You can even, you can be at the farbrengen and not necessarily realize who's, who's running, who's running it. And just because today after Gmar Tamuz we can't necessarily see who's running it, doesn't mean that that doesn't mean that the Rebbe's not continuing to run the show, if you will. So I, I think that just... There, there were beautiful interactions all throughout. Uh, and, uh, and, uh, my father continued to be there until, uh, they found a, a, a shidduch.

15:27 Speaker 2 So maybe, maybe tell me about that a little bit.

15:29 Speaker 1 Uh, so at the time, my mother has bec- had become a baalas teshuva. That's a whole 'nother story. I know we can maybe go back or that-

15:35 Speaker 2 Maybe, may-maybe tell me about your-

15:36 Speaker 1 But, but-

15:36 Speaker 2 Tell me about your mother a little bit

15:37 Speaker 1 ... but in short, she was, uh, in a very, very influential role at the time. This is before the internet. This is before there was cable TV, really. So if anybody wanted to get any exposure in New York on television, you had only two shows that really you could have an interview show. Like the fact that we're doing a podcast right now, that they did an interview show. There was e- There, there was the Today Show, and there was my mother's show on NBC, Five Minutes With. And so literally at her door, you have cramming every single who's who, whether it's presidents-

16:06 Speaker 2 She had her own, she had her own show.

16:07 Speaker 1 So NBC had a show. She was the producer of Five Minutes With. That's what it was. So you get five minutes with. So whether you're an author, whether you're a musician, whether you're an actor, actress, whether you're a lawyer or a physician, everyone wants to be on this show because this is how you can get exposure. So it was a very powerful role, and through a long story, which, uh, my father, my mother has tremendous brachos, brachos to share this story, and the Rebbe did, literally did not let her go anywhere without sharing this story. Uh, and I never understood that as a kid. She's always-- It's almost embarrassing. She'd go somewhere and she'd call someone and say, "Can I speak? Can I speak?" Like, "Mommy, you know, why are you pushing us up to speak?" But that was her mandate, uh, to speak. And, uh, she had a chance encounter-

16:43 Speaker 2 Well, we'll talk about that soon, but I ju- I watched some of the videos of dollars. I mean, literally every time she goes by dollars, the Rebbe's demanding from her, "Are you speaking? Are you speaking? Are you speaking?" And, and, and now if she says she doesn't, she's not invited anywhere, the Rebbe says, "So get yourself invited." Like-

16:59 Speaker 1 Right

16:59 Speaker 2 ... like literally a mandate. Mm-hmm.

17:02 Speaker 1 Um, right. And through a chance encounter in, uh, in, uh, South America, in Brazil, um, later Mrs. Chana Sharf, she was then a Blumenfeld, uh, but the mother of, uh, the Sharf, the famous family, Al-Alleh HaShalom. Um, it was through her that my mother actually became a baalas teshuva, and it was a very, very big deal, I guess, in Lubavitch at the time that, uh, here was this, uh, TV s- TV producer who had become a baalas teshuva and was now connected. And, uh, Mrs. Reb Yael Kahn's wife, Mrs. Leah Kahn, and, uh, uh, by Gershon Bear Jacobson's wife, Sylvia Jacobson, they were on mitzvim together, the two of them. And they said, "Hey, why not my father for my mother?" They thought of the idea. Uh, and, uh, although the Rebbe cla- the Rebbe took, uh, uh, said, "I'm the shadchan." Why are you saying, "I'm the shadchan"? So he, the Rebbe took the, uh, the role of shadchan. Uh, and, uh-

17:49 Speaker 2 The Rebbe told it to them?

17:51 Speaker 1 No, to my parents.

17:52 Speaker 2 Oh.

17:52 Speaker 1 The, the, yeah, that, uh, the shadchan. And, uh, my, uh, my mother wanted to actually interview the Rebbe, and, uh, as they were dating, so my, my mother asked, uh, asked... So just to give you a sense, my mother comes from a very, very, very secular, uh, secular background. And, uh, she became a baalas teshuva the whole... It's a long story, but just to give you a sense, so, uh, uh, nineteen seventy-seven, Sadat surprised- Begin in the Knesset, those of you who know a little bit, uh, uh, Israel history, a surprise visit, and no one was expecting it, so NBC has to air this speech, and they didn't know exactly who was gonna speak in which language. So Sadat is speaking Arabic, but then Begin, th-they didn't have a translator for Begin to speak in, uh, in, uh, in, in Hebrew. So someone said, "Hey," saying my mother, "Hey, you're Israeli. Y-you know Hebrew. Come sit down." So my mother was sitting in the chair next to Henry, Henry Kissinger translating Begin's speech for anybody on NBC to hear. Now, my mother, of course, knew Hebrew, but the ones that she didn't know was Tanakh. And Begin was a very, you know, he wasn't a religious person, but he was very flavorful, and he, he would quote Tanakh. So whenever he's speaking, and there's Tanakh, uh, being quoted, there's silence for all of NBC listenership. Now, my father is in seven seventy. Of course, before my father, my-- they met my mother, and I guess

19:03 Speaker 1 they had a TV somewhere or something 'cause it was a historic thing, somewhere in , and they're listening. My father doesn't know Hebrew, but my father knows Tanakh. So the only parts of the speech that my father understands are Begin speaking the Ta-- the, the, the Tillim, when he's quoting Tillim. And obvi-obviously, when my parents were dating, they, they realized, "Oh, that was your voice. How come you didn't know that part? I knew that part." So this was... Yes. Um, and it was a-

19:22 Speaker 2 Yeah

19:22 Speaker 1 ... it was a big deal. And, uh, and my, my, my father came back after my mother a-a-asked to, to, to interview the Rebbe. So my father said-- the Rebbe said, "Next time you come to me, I hope there'll be a mazel tov." So my mother said, "Well, that's, that's an answer for you, but that's not an answer for me. I want an answer for me." And the Rebbe said, uh, answered, "She's right," and told the maskirs to schedule a, uh, a, a yechid this for her. This is in Tof Shin Mem. This is nineteen eighty. And, uh, she had two yechidis for over an hour in nineteen eighty. Um, some of the things... Uh, at the time, you know, you think it's very, very funny. My mother asked the Rebbe for an autograph, and the Rebbe gave my mother a siddur, but didn't get-- said, "We don't, we don't autograph here." Uh, my mother a- and all sorts of interesting things my mother asked the Rebbe, "Don't you feel a little bit funny, you know, dancing before you say Shemoneh Esrei?" Referring to taking three steps back and three steps forward. And the Rebbe sort of smiled like, "One, one, one day you'll feel yourself silly to ask this question." And I mean, so, so thank God, my, my mother, because of that, had tremendous kiruvim and, uh, finally decided that, that there was gonna be a wedding. And my mother-- my father actually asked the Rebbe to do Masadi Kidushin. Um, the Rebbe

20:22 Speaker 1 answered, I think as he did to many, many people, that it would be, uh, uh, inappropriate, and it would be almost like an ein hareif, I'm gonna say come to one, not come to another. It would create, uh, feelings of jealousy, if you will, among people. Um, and, uh, they got married, uh, in Rav Hirsch Gansburg's house. Those of you know, it's, uh, the house right across the street from the Rebbe's house, and the Rebbetzin was watching with binoculars. Their-- the, uh, wedding was scheduled. Originally, they were gonna-

20:48 Speaker 2 It was like on a porch?

20:49 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, people saw it there. The Rebbetzin was watching.

20:52 Speaker 2 She was watching with binoculars.

20:53 Speaker 1 Yes. And, um, it was gonna be on Yut Zvat. The Rebbe told them, "It's a conflict of interest, so could you please schedule a different date?" So they did it on Tesh Zvat. And, uh, they ti-- it was timed such, I know Shaya Gansburg and Beryl Gansburg, they were Bachrim at the time, and they had timed it such that the chuppah, and they saw that the Rebbe was leaving seven seventy. So as the Rebbe came back in the car from seven seventy, so the chassan and kallah, my parents, went across the street, and the Rebbe... Sorry. And the Re-- and the Re-- sorry. And the Ra-- and the Rebbe said mazel tov to, uh, the Rebbe said mazel tov to the chassan and kallah. And then the Rebbe said, you know, "Please, could you come tomorrow for, uh, Sheva Brachos?" And, uh, Yut Zvat Tof Shin Mem, uh, the Rebbe, uh, there was Sheva Brachos at the Farbrengen. Uh, Rabbi Gutnick, I think, uh, leads the Sheva Brachos, and they pass the cup up to the vibchel to the women's section upstairs too for Sheva Brachos. Um, so that's, uh, that's, that's how it began. That's a long answer to a short question.

21:48 Speaker 2 Okay. And there's a video of that, of the, of the Sheva Brachos at Farbrengen.

21:54 Speaker 1 Right.

21:55 Speaker 2 Um, so what happens... So is your father involved as the Rebbe's doctor throughout, like from Tof Shin Mem through, you know, till Tof Shin Beis, or not, not as much?

22:06 Speaker 1 No, always, always. Uh, fr-from, from that point. Uh, so I mean, I, I, I remember even... So we, we would always, we would come to Crown Heights every once in a while, but for every Yom, Yom Tov. Every Rosh Hashanah, we were there. Every Sukkot, we were there.

22:18 Speaker 2 So just to clarify, your family or your father, like, didn't officially become Lubavitch. Like you didn't like-

22:24 Speaker 1 Correct.

22:24 Speaker 2 Yeah. So may-may-maybe give the background.

22:26 Speaker 1 No, I, my, my, my, my father never considered himself a Hasid, you know. He, he always wanted my mother to ask the Rebbe for a bracha for him. But, uh, no, he a- he asked the Rebbe for brachos, and he, he was... He, I mean, obviously, there was a... I, I, I get all my, my, that, that, that feeling from my father. My father loved Likutei Sichos. That was his world. Um, he, he, he would, he would learn it, he would talk it, and he would, and he was, uh, he-- every, every Yom Tov we were, we spent, Rosh Hashanah, uh, Sukkot, Pesach, Shavuot, that was always, we were always there. And I remember even, like, before Yom Tov would start, so my father would go on to Rabbi Groner and, and, you know, see the latest, I don't know what they were talking about, the latest, uh, test results, the latest this, the latest that. These are not areas that I was privy to. Um, but yeah, the Rebbe would regularly have, uh, be checked up by doctors throughout the years, and that, that my father was, if you will, together with the other doctors, managing the, uh, the, the, the case or what, what, what, in whatever capacity. I really don't, I don't have much insight into that. Um, but because of that, we were zoche to, and my father and his children, his family, uh, vicariously were, were zoche to, uh, tremendous kiruvim from the Rebbe. The Rebbe guided all their, their

23:34 Speaker 1 de-decisions in life, you know, even where to, where to live. We were living in the Upper East Side, um, wanted to be in a different area, and, uh, was thinking of moving to Riverdale, and the Rebbe said, "Kadima, Washington Heights." Even though the, at the time, the real estate in Washington Heights, which is on the top of Manhattan, was ludicrous, and right after that, miraculously, an apartment that they had looked at became available. Ma-many stories of that nature, the Rebbe guided my father in terms of his research, uh, my mother in terms of her career. Uh, but nonetheless, you know, I know I'm, I know I'm skipping around here, but, uh, once m-m-- I went with my mother to visit the Rebbetzin, um, that was on Sukkot. I don't know if it was on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed of Tof Shin Mem Ches, so a few years, a few months before she passed away. And at that occasion, uh, the Rebbetzin told my mother, m-m-- that, "My husband," referring to the Rebbe, "will never be able to thank your husband", referring to my father, "for all that he's done." Now, again, the Rebbe did everything. My Rebbe lent my parents money to buy their home. The Rebbe guided them. But nonetheless, in, in her, in her royalty, as an expression in French, noblesse oblige, which means nobility obliges. When you're in a role of nobility, then you're the one who says thank you, even though obviously we are the beneficiaries, and everything I have

24:39 Speaker 1 in my life and everything I have is all from the Rebbe and the Rebbetzin. But nonetheless, that was sort of the modus operandi. So it was a tremendous, tremendous ches. And the Rebbe pushed my parents, both of them, to excel in their, uh, in their individual areas. Uh, my father and his research, constantly, constantly, constantly pushing him, pushing him, pushing him, pushing him to be able to get a Nobel Prize. I mean, that, that wasn't even in the running. That wasn't even in the thing.

25:02 Speaker 2 Can you, can you, can you, can you help me understand this? I've seen the videos that the Rebbe is, I mean, every time asking your father and your mother about your father getting a Nobel Peace Prize. What, what, what, what-

25:16 Speaker 1 Not a peace prize, not peace. Peace, not, not, not peace prize, Nobel Prize.

25:18 Speaker 2 A Nob- a Nobel, a Nobel Prize.

25:21 Speaker 1 Yes. Um-

25:22 Speaker 2 And what's the... Um, I thank you for making that-

25:24 Speaker 1 So I, I, I-

25:24 Speaker 2 I didn't, I didn't know there's a difference

25:26 Speaker 1 Well, my father wouldn't have got-

25:27 Speaker 2 Nobel, Nob-

25:27 Speaker 1 ... a Nobel Peace Prize because he wasn't involved in creating peace. Uh, but Nobel Prize is in every area-

25:32 Speaker 2 Okay. A Nobel, a Nobel Prize for medicine

25:32 Speaker 1 ... of science.

25:33 Speaker 2 Okay, for medical research.

25:33 Speaker 1 Med- yeah, medicine and science, and science. And it, it, it was, it, it wasn't clear, and, and I don't know, you know, in hindsight expos facto, I'm not sure. But I do think that for us it, it, it's, it's, it's an amazing thing. I, I see it now in so many areas. You know, my, my father's saying, "I'm trying." And Rebbe says, "Not only your best, but much more." That's the message. The message is that the Rebbe took people and demanded excellence, demanded they give it their all, and go on board and beyond. And the Rebbe saw within my father that potential. Now, whether we maximize the potential, whether we utilize the potential, whether that happens, that's up to us. We have the and I don't know the story. I don't, I don't know the inside. I do remember so many conversations and meeting with Professor Bronner about this. I mean, I... You know, c- we were close. There was always, we were always at the clients together, and so many conversations and what it means and how it means and what he should do and how we should do, and my parents writing letters and answers. But those are specifics for, for an individual. But, but I do think more than that is the Rebbe pushing people and pushing my mother constantly, as you said, constantly. Uh, speech, only one speech. You're not speaking until June? What are you doing? And constantly pushing people. You know, nowadays we have a little bit more of

26:36 Speaker 1 a soft glove approach. And the Rebbe, wh-when, when people w-were, were with him, "Hey, we want the most." You know? How many... Uh, maybe there's a whole video of Jem, challenge. Demand from him twice as much. He'll demand from you twice as much. You know? Today it's, it's-

26:50 Speaker 2 So one, one sec, one second. So may-maybe we'll, uh, deep dive into this a little bit now that you me- you mentioned it. Some people have a hard time with it. It's, like, too demanding. It's like, uh, beyond, uh... You know, it's, it's creating pressure and anxiety, th-th-this approach. May, may, maybe you could explain.

27:09 Speaker 1 It, it does. It does. But everybody knows that it creates the greatest berachahs, and I don't mean this spiritually. Everybody knows, every child knows that when you work them hard and they cry and that, and then at the end, what does your child do? "Look, Tati, I got a hundred." That's when the Rebbe wants us to get that hundred. He wants us to bring the geulah in the macrocosmic sense and each of us on our own. And, and he's telling us, "Yeah, it's gonna be hard work." "Adam la'avod yulad," Man was created to toil, is not just a slogan. It's true, it's true. And the Rebbe pushed us as his shluchim, as his chassidim, as his bachurim to do our best, or as his doctors. I mean, every... If you had to, to all of Igris Kodesh is do more, do more. I'm surprised I haven't heard from you, literally. And the Rebbe's not taking no for an answer. And the reason it works, A, is because we know he loves us. So you're right. If a, if some stranger is just telling me, so it has to come from a place where this guy really loves me. My father loves me, and my father's telling me, "So this is my Tati." He's telling me, and he knows what's best for me, and he knows that I can do it. So when my kid comes home with a ninety and I look at him, "What, what's a ninety? Why?" And, and, and, and e- and

28:11 Speaker 1 I, I mean, it's easy for me to talk, but in our own lives as well, and this is something which, uh, it... This, this, there's not a video of challenge. Challenge. And how many times you expect me to be happy with a million dollars or half a million dollars, whatever that famous la- line is, and this keeps on going on and on and on. I'll tell you, my father once spoke-- My father never liked to speak about the Rebbe. He loved to speak about intracellular ions using nuclear magnetic resonance imaging. He could talk for hours about his research and, and wonderful. But you know, Rabbi Schemtov, Berel Schemtov, uh, uh, um, zol zayn gezunt, should be strong and well, he asked my father to come to, uh, Detroit to speak, and my father couldn't say no to Rabbi Schemtov, so he came. And again, I think usually the bachurim were somewhat, um, disappointed because they weren't hearing anything. But I, I, I remember at the time, I, I think, uh, Shaul Willem gave me a cassette and I listened to it a little bit way, you know, an old cassette. And, uh, and one of the bachurim says, "What was it like spending all this time around the Rebbe?" So my father turns to Detroit bachurim and says, "Let me give you a, an example from the Detroit Lions," the football team, not realizing that maybe they weren't all football fans. But saying, "You know, you play a game, and people play really, really hard.

29:12 Speaker 1 But then there's the two-minute warning. And after the two-minute warning, everyone goes into this drive of, you know, overdrive. All hands on deck. As good as you play that game, you got two minutes left, go do it." Being around the Rebbe, and I think this is just a beautiful imagery, being around the Rebbe was being around someone who lived life after the two-minute warning. There's always an intensity, there's always an immediacy, there's always an urgency. So that, that's the mode of being. Now, it's difficult, but, but the part of the Ramam the Rebbe quoted more than anything else is that, "Hayei mai sa'ach asat harab urah lemachshava achas dibur achas yachol achriyas olam kullo k'af zechus." That one act, thought, and speech can transform the world. The Rebbe meant that literally, and we-- and if you live with that, if you live with that notion, which is very difficult for all of us to live with it twenty four/seven. But when we're in that mode of being, then we're connecting. So yes, we should raise our children that way, we should raise ourselves that way, and we should be in that mode where there's an intensity to life, there's an immediacy to life. After a hundred and twenty, we'll be able to rest.

30:04 Speaker 2 But that... So, so what do you say about, you know, today they tell you you're supposed to enjoy what you do for a living and, uh, you know, you, you can take a day of work off for, uh, mental health. Like, like, uh, how does that... How does that... Uh, what, what do you say about that? Because pe-people have a very low tolerance-

30:25 Speaker 1 But everybody knows, but everybody knows that's not true. Everybody knows because everyone inside knows that when you feel good, no one feels good doing nothing. No one feels good underachieving. No one feels good underachieving. And that's the truth. The truth is that... But it's the same thing. It's the same thing, you know, in, in marriages when I talk to people over here. Yeah, it's too difficult. Of course, it's difficult. Yes, it's too difficult. But when you make it work, that's when you experience the greatest, greatest pleasure. That's... So you notice, "I don't enjoy it." Yes, you do enjoy it. That's the truth. And it's, it's, it's a longer topic, but, uh, I, I, I feel very passionately about it because we do live in a world where people are, are, are... I mean, what you're saying essentially is that being selfish feels better Being selfish, not thinking about anybody else. But we all know that the more selfless we are, we all know that the more we give of ourselves, the more we dedicated and devoted, that ultimately where we feel the best. And are, are we producing a happier society? The society is more selfish and more self-indulgent and taking time more on, on for themselves. Are people really happier as a result of that? Can anybody really tell you, "I feel so great today because I thought about nobody other than myself." It's not true. A day when you feel good is a day when you forget to eat. "Oh my gosh, it

31:32 Speaker 1 was such a good day, I forgot to eat." That's a good day. What happens on a not good day? All you do is eat. So that-- I mean, but that's, that's human nature, and the Abyssinian created us this way. And the Rebbe, for forty years, told us day in and day out. He didn't want-- What was it on Shabbos? The Rebbe didn't sleep, and he didn't let us sleep. You know, I, I, I'm old enough to remember, you know, you, you finished davening, and then you're running back to seven seventy. Everybody's running back. Anyway.

31:58 Speaker 2 So, so back to-- I was trying to translate into your story or your, or your father's story. So the Rebbe's pushing Dr. Resnick to get a, a, a Nobel Prize.

32:10 Speaker 1 To not only do your best, but much more. I don't know what those words really mean, and we can, we can farbrengen about those words for a while.

32:16 Speaker 2 Well-

32:16 Speaker 1 But don't just do your best, do even more than your best

32:18 Speaker 2 ... one of the videos, your mother asks for like a little nachas and, and, and your, your father also says something small, and the Rebbe says, "Your wife's asking-

32:25 Speaker 1 Right. So my mother came by and says, "I, I'd, I, I'd like to have a bracha for a little nachas, a chassidishe nachas input in their education." So the Rebbe says, "Little? It should be a lot." My father says, "I need a small bracha to continue with my research in the same place." And the Rebbe basically turns to them, them and says, "What's wrong with you Resnicks? Your-- My wife asks for a little, you ask for small. God is big, he can give a lot." So you know, big-- And my father says, "Big is also good." The Rebbe says, "No, I'm speaking about big things. Big is the main thing." It's a very, very, uh, "I did my part." "No, big is the main thing. Big is the main thing." And that's-- And, and that becomes, that should become-- That, that's the mandate. That, that's-- And it's easy for us to talk, and of course, it's easy for me to sit here and talk. But when it's difficult, and it's all difficult, and each of us have our own unique individual challenges, is to put ourselves in that mode. And one of the things the Rebbe spoke to my father and to many doctors, and, and I think it's-- you see this all, is preventative medicine. I'm sure you've seen this, like, you know, the Rebbe will speak about, uh, crime. The Rebbe will talk about preventative. Do-- Have education. In other words, in every field of life, instead of working on healing sickness, why

33:25 Speaker 1 don't we not get sick to begin with? Instead of dealing with crime, let's-- Yeah, situation. Instead of all these situations. In Israel, why are we getting to a situation? The Rebbe was very into preventive. In other words, if you live in this frame of mind, then you don't have the torahs to begin with. In other words, you only have this because you're schwach, you're weak. But if you live in this frame of mind, then you lift people up to a perspective where there are no questions. You don't have-- You're not answering a question. There's no question to be answered to begin with. And I think the Rebbe, in terms of preventative medicine, that's a, a sort of a holistic view on life in general. Anyway.

33:55 Speaker 2 Okay. So let me move back, uh, to you a little bit. Um, so you grew-- You're growing up in Washington Heights, and you're coming to the Rebbe. So first of all, were you able to, like, did you, did you realize that, like, the Rebbe's being mekarev your mishpacha and you, like, like, it was this-- You, you realized at the time, you know, how quote-unquote "special" this is? Like what, what was your-

34:21 Speaker 1 So, so-

34:21 Speaker 2 How did you, how did you view it? I've been talking a lot over the, uh, many episodes about the book that the herd came out with, Our Days. And Our Days is a very special book because it really helps you to live with all of the Yamim Tovim. So we're just coming off the heels of Tishrei, which is the month, which is Merubeh B'mayah days. There's so many Yamim Tovim. Calms down Achashverosh, but we know that BeChasidim, Kislev is again the month. That's Merubeh B'mayah days. You have Rosh Chodesh Kislev, the Rebbe recovering from the heart attack. And then we have Tes Kislev, Yud Kislev of the Mitteler Rebbe. We have Edat Kislev, the wedding of the Rebbe and the Rebbetzin. You have Yutess Kislev, Chof Kislev. I mean, there's so-- It's, it's a month, and I'm missing a few, but that's-- it's a month that's full, full with Yamim Tovim. So I wanna encourage everybody to set Our Days, beautiful two-volume set. If you haven't yet purchased it, many thousands of people have already, but if you have not yet purchased it, it's a very good time to purchase Our Days. It's a beautiful, beautiful set. If you open up to the month of Kislev, I mean, here's your Chodesh Kislev, just stunning. A- a- and each, you know, each yamim of the pagra, first of all, it gives you the whole story of the Yamim Tov. And then it tells you what happened by the Rebbe on that particular Yamim Tov. And then

35:40 Speaker 2 in addition, each Yamim Tov has a section called the takeaways, the Skirah Min Hanesah. Like how do we actualize? What does the Rebbe explain what the day means? And what should, what should we do with it? What should we do on that day? What are we trying to accomplish on that day? And many people have told me that this has become like a, a staple. They take it out, they read it before the Yamim Tov, or they do it with their family. And I really, really think that if you have not yet purchased it, you can get this two-volume set at theherd.or, dot org forward slash ourdays. And right-- And if you order it now, you'll get it in time for Kislev, for the Chodesh HaChagim, the month of full with Chasidus Yamim Tovim, Yamim of the Pagra, which is why we made this set in the first place, to help people live with that. So order it today.

36:27 Speaker 1 So I don't mean to talk in a, in a, in a grub way, but, but I'm a child. I mean, let's be honest. I'm not experiencing any-- Forget any children, especially me, that I didn't necessarily, you know, Rebbe wasn't-- It was more of a personal thing. So but when you're in seven-seventy, and when you're there, there's, there's a certain sensationalism, there's a certain superstar, a certain fan. Like there, there, there's external stimuli and trimmings. And I actually think like, you know, things their hair does. In a, in a way, people look at it, "Oh, come on. You care about this stupidity and this little thing. Come on." But you know what? Havdil, Havdalah, Havdalahs, when it comes to your, um, basketball fan, you care what their sneakers are and what their shoelaces are and what they ate for breakfast. Oh my gosh Because if someone, if, if you're enamored with something, then even the stupidities become important, right? And in a certain way, obviously, those are not-- that's not the, the motive, this cautious. It's not to connect through all these sort of external. But the fact is that being in seven seventy with all the, you know, the, the Vad Masada, I don't know if these names mean to you to be able to Smitty, and you have the McCall, and, and, and all the people, and all the action there, and that you're allowed through, and that you're coming through. You know, I'm, I'm... You have to understand. Picture this. I have my

37:30 Speaker 1 penny loafers on. I have my, my navy blue blazer sport coat with gold buttons, and my red tie. So I, I, I... So I'm, I'm different there. We're, we're different, and we're getting all this attention, and it's incredible. You, you see that out of all these thousands and thousands of people that I was giving me a smile and, uh, dollars. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's something that has-- First of all, it's a tremendous host that I, I can only thank the English here and thank my parents for, for the rest of my life to be able to have these. And do-- Can I say at the time that I, I valued this as, as, as something? But yes, you know, this is a s-- this is the superstar. This is everybody. How's it, Rebbe? What's going on? And as soon as you come out, what did the Rebbe say to you? How are they doing? And you're getting pounced on, so you, you're getting tremendous attention. And I, I'm talking, again, very grub. I'm talking as a child. But the truth is these things had a tremendous, tremendous impact upon me. So, you know, coming to seven seventy, so we come at night. Let's say there's a sun or night. I'll just give you a picture. So we come in, we're in Ganeg Natachten, we go to Rabbi Groner's office a little bit, we're schmoozing. Then Rabbi Groner says, "Oh, the Rebbe's coming down." So they already made the shrill, so we're walking to the

38:25 Speaker 1 shrill. People asking me, "Is the Rebbe coming now?" So I'm like the guy with the inside info, you know. I know I'm talking quickly to sort of give them a picture, but there's this feeling, and then the getting, and getting the attention from the Rebbe, and getting the smile, and getting asked. Uh, it, it's, it's, it's something which, which as a child, obviously, that develops later on and has to be internalized. But there's no question, being in the front at Hanukkah Live and always being there, the Rebbe asking me, "Oh, you're the Bachar here. Take two dollars." Um, uh, Sukkot's Numbeys, uh, those of you who know, on, on the nights of Sukkot, the Rebbe walked from the, uh, from his, uh, place of davening. He walked to the Fabregin place, and it was very, very unexpected. It was crazy, crazy pushing, and it was-- And literally, it was, it was... And I'm sitting right there, and, and, and the Rebbe's asking, right next to the Rebbe's feet, as, as the Rebbe's-- I don't think the Rebbe was sitting down. I think the Rebbe was standing.

39:07 Speaker 2 Standing, yeah.

39:08 Speaker 1 I think, if I remember, the Rebbe was standing. And, and I'm there, and the Rebbe's asking, "Where's your brother?" Now, so moving away, I'm blocking my brother, and I'm-

39:14 Speaker 2 Before the sitting.

39:16 Speaker 1 Before this, again, I, I, I'm sure it's all recorded. You can look at Eliezer Zakalakovsky's book. I'm sure it's all there, and ev-everything is there nowadays. Uh, but, you know, "Where's your brother? How are you?" And I remember coming back, and we're having the meal at the Kablarsky's house, and my father saying, "Yeah, he, he's given up on me. He's just asking you where my brother is. He didn't ask you where I was 'cause..." Again, th-this is, this is the, this is the conversation around the table. It's a conversation around the Yom Tov table. So it, it's all your Yom Tov and everything, and you're looking forward to the next time you're gonna go to Crown Heights 'cause then you're gonna be in the center of this and be part of this. So again, I know this is not holy. Um, I'm just giving you, asking me for... You're ha- you're having me on, so I'm giving you my, my little, uh... So a-as a child, these things were, were, were, were, were very, very impactful, and we look forward to Yom Tov there constantly.

39:59 Speaker 2 That's, uh, y-your description that is very interesting because you're being very, uh, real about it. So it's, uh... But my-- But when I-- So you l-- How old were you, like, Chafzay Another and Gimot Amos?

40:14 Speaker 1 Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, yes. So, so before Gimot, I, I-- Before Chafzay Another, I was, I was not bar mitzvah yet. I did not have my bar mitzvah there. So then, so then there was the day, then there was Chafzay Another. Chafzay Another really was obviously a change for the whole, for the world, for, for all of us. Um, I remember that day like yesterday. I was, uh, at home, and, uh, my father used to do research at, um, Albert Einstein, uh, Medical Center, which is in the Bronx. That's where they had special machines, uh, NMR machines that he would do his research on. And so we got a call in the house, I believe it was from Rabbi Klein, um, that something happened and describing, and, uh, and, uh, could you reach my father? And these are the days of, without cell phones or beepers and pagers. Um, I remember clearly I was in the room on the floor listening as my mother was on the phone, and the Rebbe did not wanna go to the hospital, which was... I remember just saying, "Oh, thank God the Rebbe doesn't wanna go to the hospital. That means that things are still good. The Rebbe didn't wanna go to the hospital. That means that the..." But, uh, and, and, uh, my father, they were preparing... Oh, so sorry. Originally, they were preparing Cornell. My father cor-called, called Cornell, called the ER to prepare for the Rebbe to come there 'cause they didn't know that. That was

41:18 Speaker 1 cl- that. And then, again, this is the way I recall, this is the way I remember. And then the, then the call came back, "No, the Rebbe's going to seven seventy." And my father got into a taxi. Actually, the taxi driver wound up being an ex-race car driver. My father gave him a, a big tip and said, "I really need to get to, uh, Crown Heights as soon as possible." My father got there before the ambulance arrived. And, uh, from that day, uh, obviously, things were very, very different. But again, I'm only talking myself, and I, I think I'm talking for everybody my age. But that whole period of the gezunt, it really developed within each and every one of us. A-again, I, I'm only-- I'm starting this. I didn't grow up necessarily before then this way, but a love, a care, a concern, a yearning to see the Rebbe. I mean, the topic of conversation was, "How is the Rebbe doing? What's going on?" You know, all the songs, "Dear God," "A Tear Runs Down from a Sheikh," "Oi Rebbe." All these songs are created. There's a certain energy that's creating this. There's a certain mood in, in, in the world that's creating this. You'd go on with Sim on Fifth Avenue, and as you'd ask people, "How's the Rebbe? How's the Rebbe?" That was, that was a con-- I remember this very clearly. Yud Aluf Nisim was a few months, a few weeks afterwards, the Rebbe's ninetieth birthday. How's the Rebbe doing? It

42:21 Speaker 1 was in the news. It was in... A-and for us as, as Hasidim, and for us, it was very, very, very real. It was something, and it developed within us this love, this care, and this concern. And the fact that I felt this special that the Rebbe, out of thousands of people, cared for little Rawley Reznik. And again, I, I appreciate this more and more as I, as I got older. But as I'm-- This was a very, very, very difficult time period and a crazy time period. And even though it was filled with all the craziness and all, if you will, the politics, but ultimately, what was, what was behind it was everybody wanted to, to, to, to be able to see the Rebbe. And that, that yearning, that longing, now it's, you know, many years later, is, is something which lasted with us and stays with us till today. I think everyone my age will tell you that the emotions of those years was, was-- emotions were running very, very high.

43:04 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

43:07 Speaker 1 So that's, uh... And even during that time, so we moved to Michigan during that time period. Um, and again, the Eibescher fear developed. Uh-

43:15 Speaker 2 Your, your father was, was in seven seventy a lot, and then you mo- you guys moved to Michigan.

43:20 Speaker 1 We moved to Michigan, but he was there every other week, every other week. Um, definitely, if not more than that. And we would go and... All the time. Um, but he was there. Uh, maybe every week, every other week, he'd be flying back and forth. Um, in addition to how there were Wednesday night conference calls and all. I mean, it was, it was a very, uh, tumultuous period of time but, uh... And I, I, I was in Detroit. My parents were looking which, which, uh, where I should go to school. Um, and there was, there's, uh, Akiva, I think it has a different name now, and Beis Yehuda, and other names. And again, the Eibescher fear developed, and I remember this was in Mercer's Pizza, I think it was on Coolidge. Uh, Detroiters will correct me. And, uh, my parents were there looking at schools, and, uh, they're there, and in walks the Shliach Rabbi Silverberg and he, "Oh, Dr. Reznik, hi. You're moving to town." Uh, um, we wound up actually moving to his-- to, to West Bloomfield, and we were part of his, uh, Kehillis Chabad house for many years. But at the time we weren't. Uh, "Where are you thinking of sending the children?" "Um, we're looking at here, we're looking at there." And again, God puts words in people's mouths. My father, for him, excellence and education. And, uh, you know, he's an Ivy League, University of Chicago, Northwestern, Harvard, Cornell.

44:21 Speaker 2 Where were you going to school i-in New York City before?

44:23 Speaker 1 In-- I was in Breuers, Yeshivat Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch. Breuers, that's a yeshiva. Uh, my father loved Shimshon Raphael Hirsch. "Torah Um derech eretz", this was one of his mottos to be able to have. And that goes along with in gen-- his general education was very, very, very important for him. Um, and that was a big thing when I wound up not becoming-- not going to college. That we can talk about that, whatever.

44:42 Speaker 2 No, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna hear about that.

44:43 Speaker 1 I don't know where you're going, and you, you direct the conversation.

44:44 Speaker 2 So what ha- what happens with Rabbi Silverberg? So he, he-

44:46 Speaker 1 So Rabbi Silverberg says, "Okay, those are all good schools." I don't know if he used the word mediocrity, "But if you want excellence, there's the cheder. There they speak in Yiddish." My father speaks Yiddish, and he loved that, and this is a high-level learning. And all my father has to hear is the word excellence. My mother never even dreamed of trying to... Excellent. Really? So the deal was if I will have a g- full secular education, and I'll have a tutor, and I'll have a full secular education with trigonometry and Shakespeare and everything properly, then I can go to cheder. And so I'm in cheder. I'm in there. And again, this is a very, very, very emotional time, especially. And one of the things I, I got, you know, from my years in Detroit is that personal avodah, that personal love, a father-son relationship between a Hasid and a Rebbe. And this is happening as I'm coming from getting all this attention from the Rebbe, as also you have to understand, I'm in the know a little bit. So older bochurim wanna talk to you because you're hearing things at home, and you're on-- and you're hearing what's going on. So I'm, I'm, as a kid, again, I'm, I'm, I'm fourteen years old, you know, uh, thirteen, thirteen years old, twelve years old, so I'm, I'm getting a lot of attention because people want to... So again, this is all coming together, and that's sort of the formative years of my life. If this is

45:55 Speaker 1 interesting for people, that's, that's fine.

45:57 Speaker 2 I'm curious to know, um, like was it a decision you ha- you had to make to, to be a, a Lubavitcher? Or like just how that happened, you know, at the time?

46:07 Speaker 1 I don't know if I, I, I, you know, it probably happened slowly. The Rebbe, again, it, it really happened during this period of time. The Rebbe had such... I, I, again, I've heard different accounts of it. Had such joy when he heard that I was going to cheder.

46:18 Speaker 2 Your father told-

46:19 Speaker 1 Really, my fa... My father told-- Yeah. My-- You're always trying to give Besuras Tov to a Hasid, and my father, I guess, realized that this would be, you know, he's going to one of your institutions. Uh, and, and, and the Rebbe, whether, whether this move to his hands or the smile, I mean, I heard this from many, many people at the time. It was such a source of davening.

46:32 Speaker 2 You didn't hear it from your father?

46:34 Speaker 1 Yes. I, but I, again, I, um, I don't remember everything and, uh, exactly what went and how. My father, I, I know it's hard to understand this, but as Hasidim, every move of the Rebbe is reque- especially now. It, it wasn't the same way. It wasn't the same way. It was, it was, it was sort of taken for granted, and my father didn't look at it as a Hasid. You know, maybe he mentioned, maybe he didn't. I, so I know it's harder to look at it nowadays. Nowadays, wow. But, but, uh, it's a big, big zechus that, that, that happened. And so during these days, there's this connection that's happening. It happened very, very much over summers, Gan Israel, Detroit. And again, th-there's this feeling. So th-these years I could say definitely contributed to me sort of becoming a card-carrying Lubavitcher.

47:12 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

47:12 Speaker 1 And also in Breuers, I was always the representative of, of, of Lubavitch for, for, for... So there was, there was always that element as well.

47:19 Speaker 2 Right. You, you have, you have that element when you're not a Lubavitcher, you're the Lubavitcher.

47:24 Speaker 1 Right.

47:25 Speaker 2 Yeah. Uh, someone gave me like an account of, uh, of the Rebbe's reaction when he heard that you're going to cheder. I don't know. May-may-maybe he heard it from s-- I mean, he's old and-

47:36 Speaker 1 It's very, very possible.

47:37 Speaker 2 Maybe he heard it from s-- maybe he heard it from your father, or if he heard it from you at the time. It's, um, that the, the Rebbe held onto your father's hand and like, like, the Rebbe was very, very ha- pleased-

47:46 Speaker 1 It's very possible. It's very possible

47:48 Speaker 2 ...with this.

47:49 Speaker 1 But again, I'll, I'll get people coming over to me like, uh, um, uh, . I, I mean, first of all, I don't like-- I didn't like wine. The sweet wine, you know, th-those of you who've been to Farbrengen, especially Moshiach. So in general, Moshiach said it smells like seven seventy-one. The entire room smells like this. And the Rebbe, I'm right next to the Rebbe, and the Rebbe's saying, "Three or four, three or four." And I have people still come to me today to go like this, "Three or four, three or four," Moshiach. So making sure that I had four cups of wine. And, and, and now people are giving me wine and telling me to say l'chaim. I... So there, there's this feeling of the Rebbe, first of all, you know, you can believe the Rebbe knows everybody, but you feel that way. You feel that the Rebbe knows me, and he cares about me, and he's interested in me, and he's just, for lack of a better word, giving me attention. And you know, as a kid, getting attention feels good. As an adult, it also feels good.

48:32 Speaker 2 Right. Now, this is always, um, in those years, this I, I think, I mean, I, I, I was born, but I wasn't, uh, uh, old enough to have any, uh, conversations with anyone. There was always this conversation amongst people like, "Does the Rebbe know me?" This was like a, a thing, you know, that people used to talk about. If it, uh, I think in the "Mems" this thing starts. As Rebbe Yehiel has his whole story with, with, uh-

48:55 Speaker 1 Right

48:55 Speaker 2 ... writing a letter. Yeah, yeah. He has, he has a whole story. Um, but for you, that was never a question.

49:03 Speaker 1 And that was not a question. I had that. I took it for granted. And then as I'm getting older, so I, I'm... So then all of a sudden, now I'm appreciating. I wish I would've known. I would've appreciated these stories. I mean, the Rebbe thanked you for visiting his wife, the Rebbe. And, um, when we went after visiting the Rebbetzin. So the Rebbe thanked, uh, my, my, my, my... We went for, um, Rebbe. Uh, the Rebbe said, "Thank you very much. You, you made the Rebbetzin feel very good." Again, these, these are little... Now you treasure these tidbits, but at the time, this was just part of growing up. This is part of being there. And now, obviously, these are things that I, I hold on to.

49:34 Speaker 2 So was that... Uh, did, did, did you look at it differently after Gemilut Chassadim? Like, did you...?

49:39 Speaker 1 So again, you mature. You mature. I was a kid. I mean, let's be honest, I'm a kid. So what's exciting for a child is different. And, and then you mature, and it's not just about getting attention, it's about realizing that, uh, it's, it's an acharei, it's a zechus. Uh, and, and these terms become more real to you. They're not just teams of color or acharei and zechus. They actually... They, they, they, you, they, you take them on and you now, you internalize them. And as you grow and as I get older, I look upon these things and I share them and I lovingly cherish them and try to, you know, see what, what is really created in my mind, what's from then, what's from now, and, and try to live with them and see what messages there are. So like, again, it's... Again, sometimes every-- the Rabbi says things to people, and they take it in their way, they, they take it. But the Rabbi's asking me, you know, "Who's saying the Ma nishtana?" And I'm saying, "I'm saying the Ma nishtana for, for Pesach." And then m-my-- the Rabbi's asking my mother, "And, and does your husband know the answers?" So it's a cute interaction that's happened to a number of people, I'm not the only one. But as I'm in California now, and I'm in a place that everybody's seeking to ask questions, and everyone's talking about the journey is the question and the quest, and then the Rabbi comes along: "But do

50:36 Speaker 1 you know the answer?" Again, again, I'm just-- this is the way I take these things and when I think about these stories. The Rabbi doesn't just want us to be on this journey. Everyone's on a journey now, and I'm on a quest, and it's, and, and it's the journey that counts. And that's true, there's a lot of the beinni, and there's a lot of kad kafi sitra achra. It's wonderful. But there's also a point to get to the journey. Are you getting it done? Uh, uh, uh, the answer, uh, the destination. And again, uh, again, these are internally the why I-- what I think of these questions. The Rabbi's asking, am I helping my father? Am I helping my mother? Am I helping my brother? So as a kid, you think it's cute, but now I look at it, and the Rabbi's charging me with various things in my life. And, uh, I, I thank God that I have these incredible tidbits that I can draw strength from and I can live with now. And it's, it's, it's the greatest gift of my life.

51:18 Speaker 3 There's one thing I'm not, um, understanding yet, and I don't, I don't know if you think this is not interesting, but, you know, I'm interested in you, so, uh, 'cause I'm talking to you. So, uh-

51:29 Speaker 1 That's what a podcast... A podcast is people who think fi-- or people who think they're interesting to talk about themselves. So go ahead. Yes.

51:35 Speaker 3 Well, at least the host has to find the person interesting. So my-- what I'm trying to figure out is that you went-- you're in a Lubavitcher educational system. But I know a lot of people in a Lubavitcher educational system that don't necessarily end up on shlichus A. And also, you have this whole-- you have a father with a, an academic background, like, uh, and you obviously rejected that. So how does that work? And how, how did he handle that whole-

52:00 Speaker 1 So first of all-

52:01 Speaker 3 What did he say when you-

52:02 Speaker 1 Also, well, I'll let you to that to, you know, to that conviction also. So I'm, I'm not sure I saw a talk as I go, but you know they say when you're a kid, you care about what everybody thinks about you. When you get older, you don't care about what everybody thinks, and you rebel against it. And you're older, you realize no one was looking to begin with. I mean, I remember feeling uncomfortable wearing a tie, wanting to take it. My father would not let me go without a tie. You're a normal person, you wear a tie. And, and w-wearing a tie-- When I was a kid, like, "Fine, my father doesn't wear a tie." Then all of a sudden, I'm realizing that all the other guys, I'm a bachur, I'm not-- I'm, I'm the only bachur, I'm the only thirteen-year-old wearing a tie. At my bar mitzvah in seven seventy with the Rabbi, it was, it was after Chavrei Nadre, but the Rabbi was listening to the, you know, they would put the, the minyan nearby in the zal, and they'd open the door. So I'm the only one wearing a tie, and I'm becoming more and more self-conscious because I wanna join. I wanna become-- I wanna join, but I look different. And so, so, so this is going on. I'm becoming more... As you get older, you get becoming more self-conscious. But really, what happened is, and this I owe it to my father and to my parents who they would bring

52:56 Speaker 1 us to, are there, there are individuals who really, you know, obviously the Rabbi, but every Yom Tov we would spend at four homes. We would spend a meal at the Kadlarskis, a meal at the Groners, a meal at the Kleins, and a meal at the Kans from Yael. Uh, and these were, these were-- that was our-- that was the Yom Tov. That was a Yom Tov for me. Yom Tov was being at these four ho-ho-homes. And these people really took me under their wings, especially Rabbi and Mrs. Kadlarsky. And, uh, and the, and, you know, the reason I went to Gan Yisroel Detroit was because Mrs. Kadlarsky said to my mother, "You gotta get him there. You wanna be in-- get him in a, in a Lubavitcher atmosphere." And I didn't wanna go because at that time, they weren't good at sports, and I was a sports kid, and I wanted to go to Camp Monk or whatever it was. Um, but I don't know if you're familiar with Groucho Marx, the famous line: "Why would you want to belong to a club that wants you as a member?" So my mother said, "It's okay. You can't get in anyway. It's full." And by the way, Gan Yisroel Detroit in those days was, was, like, full, very-- that was the camp, a hundred and fifty-two campers maximum. I said, "What do you mean I can't get in? I'm, I'm, I'm-- we're resniks. We can't get in, in somewhere?" So, you know, playing games with me

53:55 Speaker 1 to get me to want to go, this is even as a kid. Um, uh, and but slowly, but being around these people and all of them in the-- each, each family in their own way and helping, and helping this along. And then as getting older, one of the big things was going to Rav Yael, um, uh, for all the Yamim Tovim. Later on as a o-older bachur as, as, as, as a-- for Friday nights. But being there, and when we were there, my father understood Yiddish, my mother understood Hebrew, so he would speak in Hebrew. My mother would simultaneously translate as Rav Yael was speaking at the table in English for us 'cause I, I, I, um, I understood the Yiddish, but the Hebrew-- and the Hebrew also, but from my father. Um, so that was... And, and I remember, I remember this, that, that look at the sichas. It, it, it slowly started to, it, it started to be mind-blowing. It really did. It, it, it, it started to open my mind. And I remember-- And what's nice, I'm sure you have this, and I'm sure all fathers have this, when you see your children who are, who are, are, are, are going through the same phase in life, and their minds are exploding. And, and a lot of things are going on. You have to understand, this is right-- I, I don't know if we went through Gimel Tamuz. We're gonna go back to Gimel Tamuz, whatever it is. But right after Gimel

54:54 Speaker 1 Tamuz, that's the first time, at least, that I ever looked at or it was-- I knew the sichas of Tav Shin Yud, Tav Shin Yud Aleph, Torah Sh'ma'alam. These things were coming out then. People were learning about these things. We w-- we learned the entire Tav Shin Yud, the entire Tav Shin Yud Aleph. This was-- that was what we were learning. That was what everybody was involved in. It's right after Gimel Tamuz. And these sichas, the sichas the Rabbi's talking about, uh, malach haloneim and the mashamas, l'yazev etz ha'marisa, all these phrases. I translate that. They, you know, uh... But, but the, the, the Rebbe sh-- the, the, the Rebbe's still with us. This was the mode of operandi, and I really, I, I, I, I was absorbed by it. I was enamored by it. I was taken by it. And I really, I went with it. And, uh, I mean, summer Tav Shin Yud Dalet. It was within a few weeks after Gimel Tamuz. It was-- the shlaishem was in camp. The, the, the, the Shimah, Machashenu, Sinam Alos, Amaira, their shimas had just come out. Our learning teacher was Rabbi Yossi-

55:41 Speaker 3 You were in the, you were in the train then?

55:41 Speaker 1 Detroit in Masmidim, Yossi Jacobson, Rabbi YY, you know, Rabbi... It was-- he was our learning teacher. Our counselor was Shimon Freiluch, and we were bachurim already. I mean, it was very, very highly charged. There was a lot of emotion. But a-and, and I will say, though, that, again, I, I know I'm jumping, that even though there was a lot of emotion, there wasn't a favrenga, there wasn't crying. This is the early days when people were at the oil. It was a much, much, much smaller crowd. Um, it was, uh... And but nonetheless, um- Ultimately, what kept me and what keeps me, and I can name people, obviously not publicly, who were very, very emotionally charged then, but ultimately dissipates. Because emotion alone and just that is cautious and that feeling of Rebbe and Tata, it, it's, it's, it's very important and it's essential, but it can't be the foundation. Ultimately... I remember first time I listened to Rabbe Yoel's Nosson ve Yadus. I remember I was in Toronto later on and I listened to, went through all of Ye- Rabbe Yoel's Shayeche Vaman and we had a whole group at the end. I remember, and Rabbi Wagner with, all of a shalom let me, you know, he turned his eye even though as I learned a lot of sikkhas and maybe he wasn't as participating in other things. And I remember my mind expanding, and this was when I, that's why I became a shaliah. This was unbelievable. It, it, it blew my mind in

56:46 Speaker 1 that. And those are the things that stay with you. All the emotions, all the feelings are so important and obviously in their hair, that's what you focus a lot on. But it, it's the meat and the potatoes. It's the key mayoise and, and, and the tairah of the Rebbe. These things are just... And chiddis that, that ultimately kept me and I, I, I, I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

57:04 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm. I, I think these, um, there's, there's a reason why the other things are called the arum of chiddis. Because it's not, it's not that, it's not that it's not important. You, you... Without it, there's no, there's no... They also call it lachluchas. Without it, it's dry. But it's not, it's, you know, the meat, the meat and potatoes is ultimately where it's at. And all the-

57:27 Speaker 1 Right

57:27 Speaker 3 ... all the, all the lachluchas is meant to, you know, to, to, to make it, uh, edible-

57:34 Speaker 1 Right

57:34 Speaker 3 ... or to make, to make it enjoyable, to make, to give, you know, just to add to it. But, uh-

57:40 Speaker 1 No, for sure. Listen, I, I was in, I was in t- Ultimately, Detroit was hard to keep up the secular and, and, and the, and the, the, the cheder, so I went to Pittsburgh, which had both programs. But I, you know, Rabbi Itkin, Allah shalom, and these were people who infused within us. This was... I'm being introduced to everything for the first time, and, uh, it was unbelievable. Uh, I, I, I really... I was swimming in it and I, and I ran with it. And I think it was at that time, at the end of, if you will, high school, mesivta, as we call it, um, that's when I decided I wanted to go full force. And my father obviously wanted me to go to college and yeshiva, and college and yeshiva, and there was a lot of back and forth. But at that point, and my father did see how much I loved it and how much I, I took to it, and, uh, he had ultimately tremendous, tremendous naches from seeing me take it and from seeing me excel. And as long as I wasn't using it as some people do, as a, as an excuse not to work and not to have to study and not to have to take tests. "Hey, you know, we can just go by in yeshiva. It's easier, it's fun. There's mitzvim and there's fabrengens, and it's fun." And, and it was very important for him, and I, I see that now even as a shaliah of

58:35 Speaker 1 Mekubavim, that sometimes you don't... They're, they're running off to yeshiva, but are they doing that as a way to not have to work hard? So some other... And many other conversations. But, uh, as long as he saw that I was working hard and I was actually really expanding and then doing well, he had tremendous naches and ultimately, uh, thank God.

58:52 Speaker 3 Okay. So I wanna go back to, um... I wa- I wanna go back to this conversation that we had, what you're learning from what, the way the Rebbe was pushing, say, your father to, to excel academically and, say, your mother to excel with the, with the speeching engagements. And, you know, and we, and we discussed like how this works with, you know, with modern way of looking at things, you know, you know, that, you know, not, not to be so hard on yourself and then ultimately how the, how, how, how the, this attitude, you know, the Rebbe's attitude is ultimately your best interest. So I feel like that in general, people have, um... We, we... There seems to be a trend that people push back on like, on like what we, what we know is, is the right thing, you know, what the Rebbe explains in the Gus Kedish and, and the Rebbe's advice for, for, for-

59:47 Speaker 1 You know, we don't have to blame it, we don't have to blame it on the Rebbe. I mean, I-

59:50 Speaker 3 No, but my, my question, my question, no, my, what I'm saying, what I see is that there's like pushback, you know, based on some modern, uh, view of things. And then ultimately, a lot of times things start coming around, like, you know, five, 10 years later, everyone's like, "Yeah, actually," you know, I think I mentioned in one of the podcasts before that there was something going around that there's a new study that actually when you help other people, it helps for you to be more happy, you know? So a brand new, a breakthrough. A breakthrough.

1:00:18 Speaker 1 I think, I think... Yeah, no, I think it's the Chasam Sofer. I think that there, there's a, there's a famous chov of his, I believe, to the Duke of Mecklenburg. It was at a time where they had buried their... They... People, they thought they were dead and they would bury them, but actually, since they did, they weren't actually dead. Um, and it was becoming a problem evidently. I, I, actually you can look online and see they used to sell graves with tubes in them that come out in case they wanna call out from there and tell you, "Hey, I'm still down here. I'm in an air hole." Um, and because of that, they made a gezera. They made a decree in that region that you cannot bury somebody until three days after they passed away. And this is obviously a very big problem. And the Chasam Sofer writes a, writing a letter to him, and in it he writes something and he says, "The winds will blow this way, and the winds will blow this way. There will be times when they won't let us bury them for a long time. There'll be times that they'll have us bury them before they're dead. Now they're killing people." You know, now they're not waiting three days. Now three days before grandma's dead, you know, we're already, we're already burying her.

1:01:09 Speaker 3 Right.

1:01:10 Speaker 1 But Yiddishkeit stays in the middle. And there are these winds that go back and forth, and this is something that I grew up with my mother because she, she, she was in the heart of all these winds of going every, you know, every day it's a new thing. Um, actually, we're just putting together a book, uh, that my mother's got, uh, for, for my mother of all her different stories and, and, and with stories of the Rebbe and with her, uh, career and with her story. But I... She once, she... One day someone came in the studio with something called the anti-coloring book, and my mother thought it was a brilliant idea. You know what the anti-coloring book is? Why do you have to have kids color in the lines? That's so restrictive. The whole idea is let them be expressive. And, and this sold millions and millions and millions of copies. It was something called primal scream therapy, which is that each person in their life needs to re-experience going out of their mother's womb, and they need to scream and yell, and they had these sounds. There are all sorts of things, and there's this therapy and that therapy and this breathing. And you know, and they're trends. And right now you see one trend and you're breathing and meditating this way and you're... And they come and go. But what's beautiful is, and what is the line that the Rebbe probably said more than any other is, . Torah is not just

1:02:07 Speaker 1 an ethereal place that we go to ask shailas of kashrus, chasidim, shacharis, and Shabbos. It's, it's, it's our life and it's our guiding light. And ultimately, it's the best bagashmis and beruchmis. Remember, I, I had one of my children and, uh, with chidon, should we push him? Should we not push him? And my wife just said, "You know what? At those times you were getting on stage. If you get on stage, I'll buy you the Lego set, and I'll come to New York." And there was no way this kid was getting on stage. He's just not that type of kid. Of course, as the Haibish should have it, he decided, he's taken it, he did it, and that was a life-changing moment for him. Because when-- wh-- meaning when did the Shechinah come lamata ba'aretz? It didn't come at Ma'antoyra. It came at the Mishkan. Why? Because we built it, because we did it. Everybody knows the only way to bring the Shechinah in your life is to work hard and to go above and beyond. Or Parshas Va-p-p-parshas Vayera, uh, yak Avram, he goes against his nature. Vayigashel Avram, Avigashel Avram. Avram comes to Haibishter, and, and Rashi says, as, as yoyev, he comes as a, as a warrior to the Haibishter to protect Sedom. And the Rebbe says because even Avram, who's ultimate chesed, sometimes to protect people and to go-- you have to go against your nature. And Avram went against his nature, and the whole hakades is going against our nature.

1:03:16 Speaker 1 That's all of life. It's difficult. And I, I don't mean to make light of it, and I think it's, it's important. I don't mean to make light of, of life. Th-yes, it's difficult. It isn't easy. But I now, can I now run, run, run a cheder. We, we have a hundred and eighty something students, eight hundred and eighty-three students this year. And, and I have this conversation over and over with parents. Give your gift-- Don't lama nigara. Why are you taking away with the pressure that you have? He's gonna thrive under it. Mishnayis ba'pe. Uh, how do I know how to learn Gemara? Because in Detroit one year, they did the whole Masachas Pesach ba'pe. All of my class, we all did it. Some of us did half, some of us did whole thing. And guess what? A hundred and twenty ba'pe this year, the Bachram learning Pesach as well. That, that's what changed my life. I think every single one of us knows that at the time when we pushed ourselves, that's when it happened. The sea splits when Nation jumps in. I can, I can go story after story after story of shlichas in Bachram, that the times that I experienced a goul opnimius was when I pushed myself to do something uncomfortable. I don't know.

1:04:06 Speaker 3 What does it mean, what does it mean, what does it mean for an adult? You talk a lot about kids. What does it mean for an adult?

1:04:12 Speaker 1 What it means for an adult? Again, I ca-- I'm talking about the, uh, uh, "I, I need to now keep my distance from my, from my, uh, mother now because it creates too much tension. I need to... You know, this marriage isn't gonna work now because it's just too difficult." And i-in other words, to be able-- Yes, it's not easy. It's not easy. It's true. But instead of pushing ourselves, and the Rebbe constantly pushing us and pushing us and pushing us, and we have to do that. We have to, we have to within, within ourselves, inculcate ourselves that feeling. First of all, to know that it's the right thing and to believe it and to not be scared of it. I, I, I deal this on a regular basis. Shluchim call me, uh, obviously, as a chabad, as a shliach. I'm, uh, about to-- They, they called me to give a, a workshop on, on counseling people. But, but it, it's true, and everyone knows that, and they thank you for it. Everyone thanks us for it.

1:05:03 Speaker 3 All right. So we have to-

1:05:06 Speaker 1 It's the reason people aren't getting married as early. It's the reason people are-- It, it's-- Yes, we're all in some way looking for an easy way out, myself included, and we don't always step up to the plate. But let's at least call a spade a spade. Let's know what we should do, and then we'll find a bring about how to do it.

1:05:19 Speaker 3 So let's id- let's identify-- I mean, it, it-- Chassidus, we talk about Nevsha Bahamis and Nevsha Lekis. What's coming from Nevsha Bahamis, what's coming from Nevsha Lekis is we go back to basics.

1:05:27 Speaker 1 Well, the Rebbe says, "Temel shamtiv, malern, temalern, temadavin." Uh, uh, when zekum tza-pa'al, we learn and we davin. When it comes practically, vu is the betachen. It's true. We all have that problem. It's true. But let's at least talk it. Let's at least... And then we can work.

1:05:39 Speaker 3 I, I identify it as a problem that, you know, it's not that, uh, it's not, you know, let's forget it. For you, you, you, you know, you cannot have a betachen. If you're not having the betachen, then, then you, then, then you ash need it. Okay. So I wanna end off with, uh, you talked a lot about yourself and your, I mean, and your family and your, your parents and that experience, and it's very geschmack and very, you know, pe-pe-- Uh, you know, and sometimes when I speak to people about the podcast, like, why does it interest people? You know, the human touch does interest people a lot, but at the same time, I wanna ask you, what is the haida from all this kiduv and all this special chassidus that your father had and your mother had and you, and you and your, and your siblings? What does this mean for the average person who d-d-doesn't necessarily have this kiduv from the Rebbe?

1:06:33 Speaker 1 Some people need it more than others. Uh, one, one-- No, I, I don't, I don't have answers I don't know. I don't have an answer. But I do s-- What's amazing to me is to see the Bachram of today, see my children, to see Bach. They have both. Really, it's an amazing-- First of all, they have the meat and potatoes maybe more than we did, and they-- the learning, and also the luchas. They have an abba. They have these feelings. You can ask me, how do they have all these feelings if they didn't merit to see this, if they weren't? Again, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm nothing compared to what many people have. But if they didn't merit-- I don't know the answer. I don't know. I don't know. But obviously, Eina Kadosh Baruch Hu, B'tzri HaB'weis HaKodesh, God doesn't give us something we can't handle. And somehow, somewhere, because there are videos and because of these podcasts and because of their hair and because of all these tools that are out there, we've been able to, and we have these same feelings that I felt in a very tangible way are experienced today. And you wanna say it's fake? I don't think so. I think it's real. I really do think it's real. I think that, that, that a Bachar knows today when he's going into the Rebbe and when he's going in that he really has that connection, that the Rebbe knows him and is caring about him, and he's asking for brachos

1:07:36 Speaker 1 and is looking at him. I, I, I really think that it's, it's amazing to me, and I don't have an answer to how that happens, and maybe that's part of the yatim b'chayay that, that, that's miraculous. But the truth is it's real. It's real that Bachram and Chassidim today have that same thing, even though they didn't merit to be able to have all this kiduv. Uh, so I, I, I don't have a, a lesson, but I do have to say that I don't understand it, but it's certainly true, and we're r- and living it. And the Bachram today are, are if not better than we were, and m- and, and again, and before us and much more, even though they don't have this. And maybe it's living in an information age of having so much access to all this information and knowing all these things and having all these senses and being able to utilize them properly, that's amazing. So, uh-

1:08:17 Speaker 3 Okay, beautiful. Thank you very much, and you should, uh, continue to see much hatslacha in everything and in your shlichas, and, uh, we should all be matzliach to, uh, to maximize the potential that the Rebbe wants from us.

1:08:32 Speaker 1 Amen. Amen.

1:08:34 Speaker 3 All right, hatslacha.

1:08:35 Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.