Ep. 30: A Video of the Rebbe Changed His Life with Rabbi Asi Spiegel

00:00 Speaker 1 I feel like the Rebbe with this, uh, answer, the Rebbe kind of made me a shpitz because that was it, you know? That's it. The Rebbe is the, is the way. And really as, as a kid when I got this letter, I was so thrilled, you know, and, and then I went to Chabad Yeshiva and the whole thing. But always felt, you know, I hope I, uh, you know, I embodied this value, but at least for sure I got it, like from the Rebbe as an answer and, uh, you know, all my life I'm trying to, uh, live with it, you know.

00:34 Speaker 2 If you've been enjoying this podcast, please like and subscribe so that others can enjoy it as well. In addition, if you've benefited in any way from Among Chassidim podcast and would like to give something back, you can do so today at derher.org/donate. I'm Yossi Kamen. Welcome to Among Chassidim by Der Her, an ongoing fabrengen about life as a Chassid, our vibrant connection with the Rebbe, and inspired living shaped by the way he teaches us each and every day. This episode is dedicated l'nishmas HaRav Saadia ben HaRav Mordechai alav hashalom Dahan and l'refuah shleima for Chana bas Nechama Dina by Shaul and Shaindy Dahan. Shalom aleichem, Rabbi Assi Spiegel. How are you?

01:28 Speaker 1 Baruch Hashem. Aleichem shalom.

01:31 Speaker 2 Okay. Thank you very much for taking the time to talk, and, uh, hope it'll be, uh, a benefit for myself and for, uh, all the, uh, listeners and those that are watching.

01:44 Speaker 1 Az ad Hashem. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

01:47 Speaker 2 Okay. So, um, I think the way I would like to begin is that I n- we actually had it once printed in Der Her, I believe. Uh, we did an interview with you regarding a certain, um, event, but I think the way it began is you discussed a little bit, if I remember correctly, that you discussed a little bit, a little bit of the background of where you came from. Uh, I know you wrote to the Rebbe at one point and, um, I understand that you weren't born into, in, into Lubavitch. It's something that you acquired and there's some background and involvement of the Rebbe with that, so maybe you can share some rashaprakim about that.

02:29 Speaker 1 Okay. So, um, Baruch Hashem, I grew up in Israel to a Modern Orthodox family. What's called over here a Kippas Seruga. And my father, zol zayn gezunt, is a big Torah scholar, so he gave me solid, uh, education. And as a kid, I was interested in, uh, you know, Rabbonim and, and learning and things like that. So but really we didn't have any connection that I know of, uh, with the Rebbe or with Lubavitch. Later in life, I, I discovered my grandfather had some connections, but when I grew up, I knew nothing of it. And my connection started when I was about 12 years old, and I heard about the Rebbe a little bit more, but I ended up-- I don't, I don't know if that was the first thing, but one of the first things that happened was I saw a movie about Tishrei in Seven Seventy when I was about 12, 12 and a half years old. So when I saw that, it made a big impact on me and I started connecting with Chabad House in my local town, Petach Tikva in Israel. And I ended up, uh, getting a letter from the Rebbe for the Bar Mitzvah. I wrote, uh, the Rebbe a letter, he wrote me back. And I went to Chabad Yeshivas at 15 years old, and that's also when I went the first time for Tishrei, when I was 15 years old. That was Tishrei tov sheim mem hei. The- then I came mem, mem vav again for

04:12 Speaker 1 Tishrei, and then middle mid-mem vav, between Purim and Pesach, I actually came to learn, uh, by the Rebbe. I came to for Pesach, I stayed in Morristown, was there for about a year and, uh, a year and a half, and then in Seven Seventy. So basically, I was in Seven Seventy from mid-mem vav, uh, mem zayin, mem ches, mem tes, nun. And in later years, I was also on shlichus as a bocher, but I was there in and out for different fabrengens. So that's, that's just my general background of where I come from and approximate years of where I had the amazing miracle in my life that I was the- spent a few years by the Rebbe.

05:00 Speaker 2 Amazing. So I have a few questions about this. Number one, this movie that was shown, this was like, uh... Where did you see this? What was the context of it? I'm just, uh, curious.

05:11 Speaker 1 So the movie that I saw, uh, Levi Yitzchak Friedman was, uh, was, uh, one of the big photographers of the Rebbe. He used to, um, when he came back from Tishrei in those years, those the mems, okay? So when he would come back to Israel, he would walk around the different towns and show a movie of Tishrei. It was, uh, reels, you know, it was like a old style movie, but, uh, it was, it was amazing to see. And he showed it in some, in some hall in Petach Tikva, in where I lived. And somehow I, I got the notice about it, and I went to see it because I was already curious more about the Rebbe by, by that point. And it blew my mind. That movie basically, uh, you know, changed my life because I saw it and I was just c- I couldn't believe, you know. Just, just try to imagine I'm 12 and a half years old, I'm Kippas Seruga kids from Petach Tikva. The shuls- That I've seen in Tel Aviv, Petah Tikva, Yerushalayim, wherever I was, you know. I've never seen anything even remotely s- close to what is going on in seven seventy. So as a, as a kid, when I saw it, I got so excited. You know, the dancing and the rebbe is like, you know, making everybody jump up and down. And yeah, that, that kinda got me. And the, the reaction of my parents when I told them about it, uh, it was also

06:32 Speaker 1 the, the next thing, which they didn't really like it so much, which made me even more interested, you know? So, um. So that was like my, kind of my be- my beginning or one of the angles of it, yeah.

06:44 Speaker 2 Okay. And I've always heard about the, the, the Yitzhak Friedman bringing the videos back to, uh, to Israel to show people. But, uh, I don't know. I, I, I don't-- I'm not... I wasn't familiar with your story and that there's, you know, that was the, the catalyst to, to what brought, brought you to the Rebbe. That's pretty amazing. Um, there was also... I think I remember that there was interaction and answers you had from the Rebbe before you came. Is that-

07:09 Speaker 1 Right. So-

07:09 Speaker 2 Am I correct? Or that maybe it was afterwards.

07:12 Speaker 1 No, no, it's around the same time. Um, this is all, you know, prior to my bar mitzvah. Um, what, what hap- what happened was I, I, I used-- I started going to Chabad House in my town. There, there's another piece of it, which, uh, honestly, I don't even remember what came first, th-this movie or, or what I'm gonna tell you right now. But I, as a kid... No, this definitely came first. This part I'm gonna tell you is that I, as a kid, maybe when I was 11 or so, or maybe before, I, I went with my parents to, um, what's called in Israel Shavua Sefer, the week of the book, which in Israel... Nowadays, it's all over Israel. Back then, it was mostly Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. There was like, um, big, big, um, book display of all the publishers of Israel in Town Square in middle of Tel Aviv for a week, and you would walk around and just see the different, uh, new books and publications. So my parents took me there as a kid, and Chabad So I, I saw it, and what can I tell my father? He's showing me I can't, uh, wear black on Shabbos. So I told him, "What about the Rebbe? I mean, if he can't wear black on Shabbos, how come the Rebbe wears black?" So my father, uh, brushing me off, sort of, told me, "Oh, that, that's a question for the Rebbe, not for me," you know. But so I was thinking to

11:20 Speaker 1 myself. I didn't tell him anything, but I was thinking, "Oh, man, that's, that's a good idea, asking the Rebbe something," you know? Like, like he gave me the idea, you know?

11:29 Speaker 2 Ask him.

11:30 Speaker 1 So I did. Yeah, so I did. So I wrote the Rebbe a letter and describing to him this debate I had with my father. I even remember I sat with the Sefer and I copied the lotion of, of, you know, the, the quote, exact quote from the Sefer HaKaf HaChaim, and I sent it to the Rebbe. A-And, and before I closed the letter, this idea came to me. You know, the bar mitzvah invitations were already there on my, on my table. And I was thinking, "You know what? Why don't I send the Rebbe an invitation to the bar mitzvah?" I, I had no idea it's a chidduš, you know. I, I was like a kid, you know. Like, "Okay, let's send him my invitation." And I did, and, um, sure enough, about two months later or so, I got a letter from the Rebbe, uh, back, which I didn't expect. I, I wrote the Rebbe a letter, you know, like a kid writing a letter, they have deal, you know, to the president, you like write a letter, and like, "Ah, the president has time for me," you know? You give it a shot, but it's not like you're waiting for the answer. So-- But the answer did come, and the Rebbe, I was going to get from the Rebbe a letter for the bar mitzvah. He wrote, "Hashem is Boruch." You know, the, the official, um, ex, uh, brocha that Rebbe... Kind of, kind of a standard lotion that Rebbe send everybody, and the

12:46 Speaker 1 Rebbe signed it. And then there's a noon base in the letter. The, the token of it was published already in the, in the resembling Kotzker, in the other places. And basically, Rebbe answered that, uh, there's different minhagim, and, uh, I should look up in the seforim, the different minhagim. And then he, he finishes it saying, "Veanu en lanu ela minag nesei moreinu hu kvod kedushas Moreinu veChamei HaAdamoh." In other words, the Rebbe is not giving me an answer, and he said, "Look it up in the seforim." But, but the real answer is, "Veanu en lanu ela minag nesei moreinu." So sometimes when we bring them-

13:25 Speaker 2 That we on- that we only have the minhag of, of, uh, Nesei Moreinu.

13:28 Speaker 1 Yeah, like you're asking me why I'm wearing black because the Rebbe wore black, you know?

13:32 Speaker 2 Because physically, yeah.

13:33 Speaker 1 The physical Rebbe, right. So when I-- You know, in different occasions, in farbrengens with bochurim or whatever, when I, when I retell that story, I always say, and I'll say it to you as well, I feel like the Rebbe with this, uh, answer, the Rebbe kind of made me a shpitz.

13:50 Speaker 2 Hmm.

13:50 Speaker 1 Because that was it, you know. "Veanu en lanu ela minag nesei moreinu." That's it. The Rebbe is the, is the way. And really, as, as a kid, when I got this letter, I was so thrilled, you know. And, and then I went to Chabad Yeshiva and the whole thing, but always felt, you know, "Veanu en lanu ela minag nesei moreinu." I hope I, uh, you know, embody this value, but at least for sure I got it, like, from the Rebbe as an answer and, uh, you know, all my life I'm trying to, uh, live with it, you know?

14:20 Speaker 2 Right. Okay. So you go to Chabad Yeshiva in United Israel, and then you said the first time you came to the Rebbe was Taf Shin Mem Heh, Petishchey. So what was, uh, that like? Ac-actually, I think-- I'm pretty sure what, what we... That we interviewed in the Deher was about Rosh Hashana, Mem He.

14:37 Speaker 1 Right.

14:38 Speaker 2 I think I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

14:39 Speaker 1 Yeah. Maybe so.

14:39 Speaker 2 So may-maybe you could tell-- Maybe you can share a little bit about that.

14:44 Speaker 1 Right. So, you know, it's, it's a bit, uh, challenging to try to, uh, to try to capture the experience of coming to the Rebbe for the first time. But, um, yeah, it was, it was unbelievable. Let, let's just say, I'll tell you like this, you know, when, when I, when I came for the first time, I remember within a few days of being there, I remember thinking, "There's no way I'm going back to Israel. There's no way I'm going back." Um, I mean, I did. I did after, you know, realizing that this would be way too much for my parents, you know, especially back then, you know, 1985. You know, my parents weren't, weren't even in America then. So it's, uh, the world was very different than today, and I felt like saying to them that I'm gonna stay would, would really be shviras hakelim completely. But I'm s- I'm saying it to share the sentiment, you know. It was basically a dream come true just to come to see the Rebbe, to be there in 1770. Whatever, whatever I was dreaming it's gonna be like was much better. And, um, you know, it's, uh... And also, and also I'll say this, and I, I wanna be very honest about this. Um, since, you know, today I farbrengen often in Israel with, with young, you know, with bochurim, with medlach. And a lot of times I, I don't wanna be-- I don't wanna go too strong talking about those memories because sometimes I feel that

16:10 Speaker 1 people, it, it gives them a little bit, uh, chalisha sadas. You know, it gives them a little bit of, uh, I don't know how to translate it exactly. Like, um, it's, it's people are having sometimes a hard time hearing how fantastic it was because, you know, um, it's unfortunately it's an experience. Uh, it's, it's a state of mind that's not available today, especially, at least not in that way, you know, begashmi as it was. So, uh, I'm just saying, like, uh, sometimes I, I mamish, in farbrengens with people, I, I see it. You know, sometimes I talk about it and, uh, I see the faces are starting to go a little, uh... So listen, it was something that is impossible to describe, obviously. Um, the, the level-- I, I would just say this, that, uh, um, I don't know, I don't know if, if, if being alert, I don't know if that's the right word to, to describe the... You know, like you, you... Let, let's say when the Rebbe, when the Rebbe would be in the room, okay? Once the Rebbe enters, whether it's mincha, ma'ariv, farbrengen, whatever, the Rebbe is in-- You know, the Rebbe came out, right? Once we were the presence of the Rebbe, everybody's alertness level, you know, like, like the, the reality becomes something that's different. You know, it's like, it's like a different level of energy in the room. This is... I'm, I'm not saying there's no-- Rebbe is not talking yet, there's no farbrengen. It's just like

17:41 Speaker 1 the Rebbe is here, um, with a very, very different feeling and, uh, you know, the, the, let's say level of optimism, let's say. Okay? Being mesimcha, being hopeful, being thinking, you know, we're going towards Mashiach and everything is gonna be good or, or whatever it is. I'm just having a good day, you know. It's like I'm happy to be here, right? When the Rebbe is around, all those things, for me at least, I'm, I'm speaking about my experience, you know. All those things were a given, you know, that, that life is amazing, and I know what I want, and then it's all good, you know. It's just incredible because you're, uh, extremely affected by the fact that the Rebbe is there. So, um, of course, if, if there was singing or simcha or moments like that, you know, it was just like, um, something else, basically.

18:35 Speaker 2 Okay. Um, and that Tisha at that time, it was-- You're able to like on the farbrengens, you're able to understand the Rebbe, or it was just the, the arum at that point?

18:51 Speaker 1 That's a good question. That's, uh, that's one of my, uh, favorite topics, uh, to tell people about, about what was really going on in farbrengen because, you know, m- it wasn't always so simple to really understand what's going on in real-time. Now, again, this is obvious, but I'm-- I, I do wanna emphasize it that I'm really speaking extremely from my, from my own perspective, you know. So I'm, I'm speaking really-- I'm gonna explain it really strongly, but this is what I felt. I don't know, other people could, uh, feel other things, you know. So for me, it's like this. I really did learn Yiddish as much as I could, and obviously, I really wanted to listen and hear farbrengen and focus and as much as possible. Um, since, you know, I was in Seven Seventy for several years, so I have, you know, different memories of different angles in Seven Seventy where I got myself a better place. Obviously, the first Tisha, you know, I came in as a Israeli bocher without any, you know, mishpocha or any relatives in Crown Heights or anybody. I-- Nobody got me a better place. I had to earn it on my own, you know. I mean, I had friends who gave me tips, but, uh, but that was it, you know. There's no good uncle who has like a little place for you under his, uh, you know, bench or something. So obviously, the first Tisha was challenging in terms of, also the second Tisha was challenging in

20:20 Speaker 1 terms of, uh, being able to be close or being able to hear. Um, did hear the Rebbe, did get some parts of the farbrengens, but I can't say that in, that in those, uh, years, in those occasions of Tisha, I was able to fully, you know, to fully be there. Um, in later years, I, I got myself better places in Seven Seventy, and even then, obviously, when in a good place or when it was a quieter farbrengen sort of, you know, not so, uh, packed this Tisha, still, even if you could hear the Rebbe, you know, now begins the real work of, of holding with him, and that was always a challenge, you know. But, uh, yeah, first Tisha was, was pretty hard. But, but, uh, you know, there's, there were some obviously, uh, voche dike, you know, weekday, weekday farbrengens. Those, those were obviously easier. But also on Shabbos and Yom Tov, you know, you could, you could get, um, some of it at least, you know. But for sure, I can't say, I can't say that, uh, I, I got all of it, not, not even in later years.

21:26 Speaker 2 Right. Um, is there anything you wanna share about the Tisha, Mem Hey, Mem Vav in particular before we move on to when you actually arrived to stay?

21:37 Speaker 1 Well, well, I'll say two things. Number one, what I meant before when I said that this is a favorite topic of mine is to say what, what, what's the favorite part of it is a lot of times I, I tell people that even though I think that a lot of people, uh, you know, I don't wanna say most because that would maybe sound too extreme, but certainly many people that were in farbrengen were not able to either hear very well or even if they heard well, were not able to, to hold cup with the Rebbe, you know. It was a very challenging, intellectually challenging, uh, thing to do. Nevertheless, even though you were in moments that you, you didn't hear or didn't understand, you were glued to your place nonetheless. It's a very important thing to understand that in farbrengen, there were two things going on at the same time. There's one thing is trying to understand what the Rebbe is saying. You know, if you could do that, that's fantastic, you know. But even if you couldn't, the experience was so strong, you could stand there for hours looking at... And many people did, you know, and they'll tell you about it too, that they, they, they, they knew that they don't really understand the, the or maybe they understood the kashe and then, and then, you know, their minds flew away. Still, just standing and looking at the Rebbe, the, the, you know, there was like magnetic, uh, type of experience. It's-- That's

23:01 Speaker 1 what I'm saying. It's different than what we know today because today I don't, I don't, I, I can't think of anything similar that anybody would be in, in presence of somebody speaking. Okay, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, if I don't hear so well, I don't understand, okay, have a nice day. You know, how long can I do it, you know? But with the Rebbe, the Rebbe had many, many participants who, uh, were there just be- just to see it or to feel it was already a lot. You know, if you could even understand what he's saying, wow, that's even better. So that's just to, to explain that. Um, about particular moments in, uh, in Mem Hey and Mem Vav, um, you know, it's like I have so many years all together, um, mixed in. I would say that Mem Vav, Mem Vav I do remember. There's a moment that I remember very, very strongly is in Tisha Mem Vav when the Rebbe got up to dance, um, at the end of Rosh Hashanah farbrengen, at the end of the, of the farbrengen of Tov Shin Mem Vav. Second year I was there. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I don't think it's Mem Hey, I think it's Mem Vav. But the Rebbe, the Rebbe said to sing a nigun of Simchas Torah in the end of the farbrengen. And right away, I, I, I... He might have even started. No, I don't think he started himself then. He didn't. I think he said to, there

24:23 Speaker 1 to, to say a nigun of Simchas Torah. They started singing, "Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay." And, and within sh- shortly after, the Rebbe got up to dance. Now, I think the Rebbe didn't get up in farbrengen to dance, uh, probably for about, uh, eight years or so. There was like a long gap of, of since the last time that happened. So I didn't, I didn't see it Tov Shin Mem Hey in Tisha. And also prior to that, you know, in the yomim noraim and all that, there wasn't anything about it. And all of a sudden, the Rebbe got up in the end of the farbrengen. It was Tisha farbrengen, uh, Rosh Hashanah farbrengen, and he gets up with a Simchas Torah nigun unexpectedly. And I just remember how the whole Seven Seventy just like, you know, wherever I was standing, I was on the floor within a second, and then I had to regain back my place to, to see the rest of it. So, uh, that's, that's a strong memory from then.

25:13 Speaker 2 I thought, I thought that was Mem Hei, but it came, it came right.

25:16 Speaker 1 Could be. Could be. I, I-

25:18 Speaker 2 Yeah

25:18 Speaker 1 ... like I said, maybe it is Mem Hei. So maybe it is, you know? But, uh, that I remember strongly. Oh, the whole Tisha, I mean, is, uh, everything is, uh, special. But if you ask me, if you stump me on that, you know, this is what I pull out, uh, that moment, Rosh Hashanah.

25:36 Speaker 2 And also, um, Mem Vav Simchas Torah is also like-

25:40 Speaker 1 Right. Sim- right. Simchas Torah, Mem Vav. Um, so, so Simchas-- so Mem Hei-- so first of all, Simchas Torah, you know, if you ask about Tisha, then obviously Simchas Torah was the, the highlight of the whole year in terms of the Rebbe's, um, Simcha. But it's not just, it's not just that, you know, there's a Kafos and the Rebbe's making with the hand. It's especially the Rebbe's face when he walked into a Kafos or when he walked i-into 770 on Simchas Torah. It just like, you know, th-th-those are things that are a little bit hard to say because it's just like, it's like feelings and memories and, and how can you describe the Rebbe's, the Rebbe's face exactly, you know? But it was an obvious thing. Like, you saw the Rebbe walking in, the, there is a, I think you say in Yiddish like uvgelebt. It's like a, an expression like, uh, I don't know how you, you say it exactly, but it's just you see the Rebbe more sort of open, you know? Like, looking at the people more or just like a different, a different aura coming out of him. So Simchas Torah was bechlal a different level. And, um, I think a lot of people know that one of the most challenging farbrengens was, uh, Leil Simchas Torah when the Rebbe wanted everybody who could to go to Taluda. And, um, but at the same time, there was a farbrengen also. The Rebbe started farbrengen around nine o'clock or so. Everybody went

27:13 Speaker 1 to Taluda around, uh, 6:00 or 7:00, depending where you were going. But the first year that I was there, everybody told me that Rebbe want people to go far away and don't be a smart boy and try to catch the farbrengen. So I did, you know. Um, but then in Mem Vav, uh, the second time I was there, I just remember the, the, when I came back Mem Hei and hearing the description of the farbrengen, and I came already at the very end, at the very end of it. So Mem Vav was when the Rebbe turned the, the cup around. That was Simchas Torah, Mem Vav, right?

27:51 Speaker 2 Upside down.

27:52 Speaker 1 Up-upside down. Right. Upside down. And I mean, before that, there was a whole sicha, uh, about the shluchim, you know. There was, there was a whole farbrengen. But the cup, the, when the Rebbe turned the cup around... So that year, I, I did go to Taluda to a closer, uh, area 'cause I did make a cheshbon how I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to Taluda, but I'm also gonna catch some of the farbrengen.

28:17 Speaker 2 You became smart.

28:19 Speaker 1 Yeah. I was a little bit of a smart boy, I guess. Not completely 'cause I did go to Taluda, you know. But, uh, but I also wanted to catch the farbrengen. And the, and the thing was also that in this farbrengen, if you came earlier and you hopped yourself a place, then you would just stay there for the duration of the farbrengen. Well, you know, in other farbrengens, there were pla-- people have, uh, mokom kavua, and they have their, their own place, and it was a little bit challenging to find a place to stand. But in this farbrengen, since it was already starting as a chaos, so wherever you went, you could stay there. So I, I, I came, and I stayed, uh, I stood pretty close to the Rebbe. And, and then when the Rebbe, um, you know, turn-- ta-talked about turning the cup upside down and the bo- you know, people were... You know, and that farbrengen, once... The, the Rebbe basically held the becher upside down in his hand the whole time. And he started, you know, in the beginning, he said l'chaim, and he turned it around. Then people started singing, and then the Rebbe started like in, you know, do with the hand, holding the, the becher. So since the Rebbe was holding it, then everybody else who had a cup that they was done with, he would also hold it upside down. And other peoples who, who, who had, uh, bottles of, of wine or mashke, whatever they had,

29:42 Speaker 1 they also held it upside down. So the whole... Try to imagine it like that. The whole 770 is holding a cup upside down. And, uh, I don't remember, like five, ten minutes into it, something like that, uh, shockingly, the Rebbe looked at me and, uh, and he told me to say l'chaim. It was the motion that the Rebbe did back then was he was holding the cup, you know, in one hand, and then he went like this. So I got like, uh, a look like this from the Rebbe like, "Where, where's your l'chaim?" You know? So I never-- The Rebbe never asked me to say l'chaim, you know, before or since, you know. It was just like my moment in life, you know. But the problem was that there was no more l'chaim in 770. I mean, 10 minutes ago, the Rebbe already said to turn it upside down, which means basically to empty all the vessels. And the Rebbe said a sicha back then that this was related to the Rambam, why the menorah, uh, the, the goblets, the gvim are upside down. So because you have to empty them and give it to the world. So, um, it took me like a little while turning around and figuring out that there's no way I'm, I'm gonna say l'chaim right here. And, and, and leaving outside and trying to get l'chaim from outside would-- wasn't a good idea 'cause I would never be able to come back where I was standing, you know. So,

31:06 Speaker 1 and by the time I was figuring my options, the nigun ended, and the farbrengen ended. And the only other, uh, time for me to say l'chaim to the Rebbe... I mean, some people said during nekafas, but for me, nekafas, I was like way up there in the ceiling, so there was no way to say l'chaim to the Rebbe. The next, um, opportunity would be the next day farbrengen, Yom Simchas Torah. And, uh, you know, lo and behold, as they say, I come to this farbrengen, and the second that I w- I raised my cup, which was basically the first nigun. The Rebbe said a sicha, then the, they started a nigun, and, uh, I'm raising my cup. The Rebbe looked in another direction, but as soon as I raised my cup, the Rebbe looked at me and said l'chaim to me. So, uh, that was, that was like a very special moment in my life where mamash felt it. Like the Rebbe, the Rebbe basically knows it all, and he feels it all. And, you know, even though it's bochurim in seven seventy, we all believed it, obviously. That was like the default setting that you know that the Rebbe knows who you are, and he knows what you're thinking and, you know. But it was, it, we, you know, uh, you don't have on a regular basis a, a, a proof for it, you know? It's like you believe it. In, in, in my time, there was no personal yechidus anymore, so we didn't

32:32 Speaker 1 really have a chance. You know, I missed that. People who came a couple years before me, they had some yechidus. Even though it was already those years, it was very short and everything, but still, you ca- you came to the Rebbe's room, you know? So we didn't have that already in, in Mem Hei, Mem Vav. It wasn't, uh... So feeling it, you know, I owe l'chaim to the Rebbe from last night, and, and it just, it turns to me right away and gives it to me. After... You can imagine how I felt in between the time the Rebbe told me to say l'chaim until he actually did the next day. I felt like basically the, the biggest shlimazel in the world. You know, the Rebbe asking to say l'chaim, and there's no mashki in seven seventy. I mean, how likely is that? But that's what happened. So I felt really bad, and the Rebbe, I'm sure, felt it, so he just gave me a quick l'chaim and, you know, it was a major, um, feeling of, you know, the Rebbe is here, he knows you, he knows what's going on.

33:29 Speaker 3 Wow. Okay. Thank you for sharing that. So-

33:35 Speaker 1 Sure

33:35 Speaker 3 ... Mem Vav, you went back, and then you, I th- Just rem- remind me. You said you came back from Morristown.

33:40 Speaker 1 Right. So Mem Vav... Yes. So Mem Vav, I was there for Tishrei, then I went back to Israel. Now, like I said, and I'm-- this is real. You know, I'm not playing it up or anything. But really, the, the, the first Tishrei I came, the second Tishrei I came, I really wanted to stay. Mit zed, the way I felt and, uh, I was, I was ready to do it, you know? But, uh, there was no way to do it unless I would really me- you know, cause a big issue with my parents. You know, I was fifteen years old, sixteen years old. So after Tishrei Mem Vav, um, when I came back to Israel, I started already during Tishrei, but even when I came back, I started, uh, writing the Rebbe, like every few weeks. I'm writing a, a pan. I'm asking for a bracha that some miracle should happen, that I should be able to come learn by the Rebbe. I really... This was the only thing on my mind, and, uh, the miracle did happen. My parents decided, my father's a professor, and decided to go on a sabbatical year to Toronto. So because of that, and I somehow, don't ask me how, but somehow I managed to convince my parents that, you know, I'm gonna miss them so much. I'm not gonna be able to stay in Israel for a whole year, you know? So they told me, "So what, what do you suggest?" I said, "Well, you know, Toronto, New York,

35:04 Speaker 1 it's not so far away. I should go to yeshiva in New York, and, uh, and then I could come visit you once in a while." And somehow they, they went for it, and, um, they even helped me because, you know, back then, uh, I don't know how it is today, but back then, if you were, let's say, a bochur in yeshiva in Lod, you know, it's a small, and you would come to Oholei Torah during Tishrei, many bochurim came to check out, maybe they could stay in the yeshiva, you know. But there was an agreement between the yeshivas that, uh, you could only learn in Oholei Torah if, if your yeshiva from Israel sends them a letter that they are asking for you to learn there. Wasn't so easy to get this document, but here my parents were going to a sabbatical, so this was like an official thing. They came to the anonim, they, and then I got a letter, so I had no problem. It was like a smooth ride for me. I got to New York and, and basically, Iyar, Iyar Mem Vav, I came for Pesach. So Pesach, I was, you know, in, uh, fourteen fourteen with the older bochurim, and then after Pesach, I went to Morristown. So I was in Morristown for, for half Mem Vav and Mem Zayin. But every Shabbos, w- I was in Crown Heights, you know. I was never, never in Shabbos.

36:18 Speaker 3 Every single Shabbos?

36:20 Speaker 1 What?

36:20 Speaker 3 You're never Shabbos in Morristown?

36:22 Speaker 1 Never. I was never there for Shabbos. Not yet. So, uh, yeah. No, during the week, I'll just say, during the week, sometimes there were surprise farbrengens. You know, big farbrengens, obviously everybody went to New York for farbrengen. Sometimes there are mem- sup- surprise farbrengens that, that we were debating, like should we listen on the hookup or should we go to New York? And it, uh, by, you know, you go very fast, an hour and twenty minutes, whatever it was, and at least you catch the second part of the farbrengen in seven seventy, you know. So that's what I think, that's what we, we usually did, you know. Um-

37:00 Speaker 3 You were, you were from that camp that decided to go?

37:02 Speaker 1 Yeah, but I'll tell you, I don't-- I, I remember this like maybe once or twice because I was from the camp that if there was even a chance that there would be a farbrengen, we would already be in New York, you know? Um-

37:14 Speaker 3 Yeah

37:15 Speaker 1 Something like that, you know. I, I was-- I came for the Rebbe, you know. I didn't come to sit in Morristown or any, any place like that, but there's no other way to do it.

37:23 Speaker 2 Why did you go to Morristown and not Ohel Torah?

37:25 Speaker 1 So that's funny. That's funny you ask because my, my Israeli friends who were then in Klutze, right? So that Pesach, I was, I was thinking, "Should I go to Ohel Torah or should I go to Morristown?" So they told me, "Listen, if you're gonna go to Ohel Torah, then you're gonna be in seven seventy all day. You're never gonna learn anything. But if you go to Morristown, at least during the week, you know, you'll learn, and then you come for Shabbos." Uh, I don't know if that's what really happened in reality, but at least in theory, that was the idea, you know?

37:57 Speaker 2 Yeah.

37:57 Speaker 1 So and then, and then Mem Zain, I, uh, I basically chose, um, not to go on Shlichus as a bocher. I don't know if this was the right thing or not, but that's what I chose 'cause I, I wanted to be, you know, I wanted to be by the Rebbe. So to me, uh, it was so hard for me to even get there from Israel with my parents, the whole thing, and then everybody wants to go on Shlichus. I was like, "You know what? I'm, I'm, I'm in seven seventy." So I kinda stayed, uh, you know, Mem Zain, Mem Ches, Mem Tes. I was in seven seventy.

38:28 Speaker 2 So you went straight from Morristown to seven seventy. Boom.

38:31 Speaker 1 Yeah, basically. Basically. Yeah. Kind of like, uh-

38:34 Speaker 2 So you, so you were there, um, so you were there Chetes, Tachana Mem Zain?

38:42 Speaker 1 I was. I was. Actually, somebody called me today in Israel to, uh, to ask me to be, to farbrengen somewhere. So one of the question was, "You were there Chetes, right?" I said, "I was." "Okay, let's do it." You know, they're looking for somebody who was there.

38:57 Speaker 2 Yeah. So it's, so it's almost Chetes. So maybe, uh, maybe you could talk about that a little bit.

39:02 Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Well, okay. Well, Didan Otzar is definitely one of the highlights of the, of the years that I was there. Uh, no question about it. I would say... Listen, the story b- the story begins when I was still in Israel. Uh, in the summer of Mem He, I was in Yeshiva in, in Kiryat Malachi, Nachlas Chabad. And I remember, so I remember really, you know, very strongly this memory that we were told that the Rebbe is gonna speak about something, um, very, very important on Yud Beis Tammuz. The reason we heard that is because, you know, the Rebbe already had a guf, uh, for echidas before Yud Beis Tammuz, and he told them that he'll speak about it on Yud Beis Tammuz. So, so but we had no idea, speak about it. W- we didn't know what it means. And we were young bochurim, so we weren't in the know of really the insides of the Babich, what's going on. So we just knew makif dik. So as bochurim, we were certain, uh, not, not certain, I wouldn't say certain, but we were thinking that probably there's gonna be a new miftach, because that's the spirit of the days. You know, the Rebbe's gonna speak about something important, and what's he gonna speak about, you know? So we had no clue that this is coming, and then Yud Beis Tammuz, the Rebbe spoke, and then, uh, you know, the Seudat Tammuz was more of a less public farbrengen. So still, still

40:32 Speaker 1 we heard the hookup, but, uh, you know. So, uh, I remember it. A lot of people were confused in Israel. People didn't really know exactly what's going on. The details were like, you know, trickling in. This guy knew this, this guy knew that. But, but there was a general sense, um, I'm talking about the very beginning, you know. After that, we all know what's going on. But there was a general sense that this is something that is very, very, um, upsetting the Rebbe. This is like, this is like really negeah, the etzem mamash. And, uh, and I'll say, as a young guy, I remember when, when, when the actual story and the details came out, I remember in my own mind a little bit of a, kind of like a gap. Like I couldn't understand why this is so negeah to the Rebbe. I mean, I'm probably, I'm not the only one, but I'm just saying like, not that I was questioning it. I'm just saying like this was at the whole... You know, I remember that we were still in Israel and, and, and we heard, I think it was Shabbos Pinchas when the Rebbe, when the Rebbe like, uh, put his hand on the table and he not... And it was like, uh, with, with Rashag. It was the farbrengen that the Rebbe spoke with Rashag and, and, and knocked on the table. And those reports were coming in, and, uh, it was, it was amazing. Like everybody knew. Then there was like,

41:49 Speaker 1 I think the Rebbe said then that, that it's hard for him to, to prepare Rashi Sicha, Epess Zoi. There was an expression like this. You know, things nobody ever heard the Rebbe, ever heard the Rebbe affected ad dedeikach or that he would say, that he would say publicly that it has affected. So, so the sense that the Rebbe is in distress about it, to me at least, to where I was at those, in those years, was a lot stronger than the actual details of what's going on. It was just-- I mean, we knew that some of the details. I'm just saying today, when bochurim or people read the whole story, you know, you're going to the details and this happened, that happened. For us, the details were secondary. The main thing was that the Rebbe was, you know, so... There was a, a lot of tension around this, you know, a lot of, uh, stress. So, so that's just the havdalah. And then, then I, I, um, I went to, uh, New York and I was there, uh, like I said, um, and you know, I came, uh, middle of Mem Vav. So the summer of Mem Vav and the winter of Mem Zain, and then I was actually-- I had a big zchus to be Didan Otzar in New York and not in Morristown, and that is because on that Hanukkah of, uh, Mem Zain, I, like I said, you know, I was, I didn't spend so much time in Morristown. And so that

43:13 Speaker 1 Hanukkah is, uh, whoever remember those years, it's a famous Hanukkah where basically almost the whole Yeshiva was, um expelled back to New York as a punishment, which I know I, I, I was-- I loved those punishments, you know. If you-- they were upset at you, the punishment, you go to New York for a week. Okay, great. Thank you. So, so I was one of those punished for not being, uh, not asking for shoes, whatever it was, and they send me to New York, and there I am, and Mitamol did a Notzach, you know, and I'm, I'm right there. So I remember eleven o'clock in the morning, I remember they, they started saying, "Did a Notzach. Did a Notzach." I mean, there was already talk before that it's coming. Wasn't a complete shock, but n-nobody really knew it's gonna be when and what and yeah, and that was, um, that was an amazing, um, you know, time. Um, the first few hours, everybody was dancing in front of seven seventy and everybody's saying L'Chaim, you know. And then the Rebbe coming to Mincha, which, uh, I happen to, to, to remember it pretty well, um, because the contrast between where we were at, you know, and the way the Rebbe came in, it was, it was pretty obvious, you know. And you could even see it in the video today and imagine what it's like to feel it, you know. It's like pretty much around eleven we got the news, if I remember correctly. So let's

44:40 Speaker 1 say eleven thirty or so, you're already in front of seven seventy dancing, you know, and then Mincha is, uh, three fifteen, right? So it's like after three to four hours of L'Chaim and dancing and outside, inside, upstairs, downstairs, you know, seven seventy. Finally, the Rebbe comes in. Honestly, I was sure the Rebbe is gonna come in, you know. It's like that, that was the feeling. Everybody's dancing. I mean, we thought we are, uh, doing the right thing, you know. And then the Rebbe walks in and, you know, so serious. Also on his face, not only the movement of the hand, his face was so serious. And, you know, they, they started, uh, um, the m- singing the, the... I think it was, uh, Zev Ketso was the chazan, right? The shlichut zibur. And, and the Rebbe looked. It was just-- it just didn't look like everybody is in the same, uh, on the same page here. However, however, and I, I, I remember that the Rebbe turned around to say a sicha. That moment that the Rebbe turned to say a sicha, I, I remember feeling like all the pressure g-going off because if the Rebbe would say a sicha, I mean, this is . So this was not common to say a sicha, and there's nothing to say a sicha for unless, you know, it's a Eiteves. And also, I was, you know, after some mashke, I remember also, by the way, this is the only time that I remember that the Rebbe is

46:10 Speaker 1 speaking, and I'm not a hundred percent sober, okay? To say it mildly, okay? Because at any other time I speak, I speak to people about it on Purim, you know. Or any other time, just imagine, like I said before, the Rebbe told me to say L'Chaim. So I, I didn't have a L'Chaim. But let's say I did have a L'Chaim. You know, nobody really... I mean, you'd say L'Chaim to the Rebbe, but nobody would really wanna get too buzzed around the Rebbe. At least not me. I don't know about other people. But y-y-you wanna, you know, be in the moment and listen to what the Rebbe is saying. You wanna hold court. Y-you don't wanna lose your mind here. So, um, you know, sometimes the Rebbe would say to people to say L'Chaim again, 'cause if the Rebbe would really want somebody, you know, you know the story with, uh, Elie Wiesel, that's a famous story. But it's, it, it happened many times with people. The Rebbe said again, again, 'cause the Rebbe know that people, they, they don't want to say L'Chaim, you know. Not because they, I mean, they love to say L'Chaim, not, but not when the Rebbe is there.

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48:44 Speaker 1 So, um, I remember this, uh, feeling of ache. The simcha on one hand that, you know, Rebbe's gonna say a sicha, so it's, it is a big thing. We didn't just dance like for nothing. But also the fact that I'm not a hundred percent was, I w-- I, I was very, uh, distressed about it. And I remember when the Rebbe said right away, it's like within the first few seconds of the sicha, the Rebbe started saying about, uh, how the Alter Rebbe, uh, said, uh, Right? It's a famous thing. The Rebbe said it many times, but here he said it in detail that the, that the, that the Alter Rebbe pointed the Mittler Rebbe to guide the young Chassidim. And I remember hearing it, and it was for me, it was like, okay, the Rebbe is, uh, confirming the young Chassidim are standing over here half drunk. It's okay. You know, the Rebbe-- That's how I felt it, that there was some sort of, uh, you know, and, and the Rebbe said, "Utchi, utchi uach yankeh bavim." You know, it's like for sure the Rebbe was happy. It was, it was all a matter of balance, you know. So and then the whole week, the Rebbe said sichas. And seven seventy, you know, there was nothing like it. I don't think, I don't think there was ever that I remem-- I mean, like Shivas Yemei Hamishneh, it was Hamishneh like something from, uh... And really all it was, all it was, it was love to

50:11 Speaker 1 the Rebbe. Really, that's, that's what it was. Because like I said before, you know, and the details of the testimonies, I mean, there's some bochurim that were like learning all the details and what's going on, and it's amazing. I mean, I knew what's going on. I wasn't as, uh, you know, informed about everything, but it wasn't-- I didn't feel then that this is where it was at. Well, I don't know the details. I know the Rebbe is happy that, that, that we're winning the, the court case. That, that's all I care. The Rebbe is happy, I'm happy. You know, that was the sentiment around, and it was a pretty strong sentiment. It was, it was amazing, you know? It was, um, yeah.

50:48 Speaker 5 And, um, all of them, all-- When you're in New York, when Rebbe at Morristown during that period, that sentiment or that like, that, uh, pressure was felt throughout all those months, you know, until, until the Dina Natza.

51:03 Speaker 1 Right. Right. It was, you know, and that's what I'm saying. It was like such a release even though be- we-- I-it was in the end, but we, we obviously didn't know that, uh, at that moment. So we just know the Rebbe was victorious and, um, you know, it was just like, uh... I mean, the Rebbe, the Rebbe would gimont simcha anyway in those years in a very s- very, uh, serious way. So it wasn't like simcha wasn't, uh, on the table, you know? And but this was even more because it was a personal thing. You know, I didn't mention here, uh, another thing which happened where the Rebbe had pain in his leg, and because of that, um, he started, uh, davening upstairs. It was like a month that the Rebbe davened upstairs.

51:53 Speaker 5 With the mevov.

51:55 Speaker 1 Right.

51:55 Speaker 5 At the mevov.

51:56 Speaker 1 This is in mevov, right. When I came, now, now I'm remembering as we're speaking to you, when I came, I told you I came for, uh, I came after Purim in mevov. And-

52:07 Speaker 5 So it's right then. That's when it happened.

52:09 Speaker 1 Right. It's right then. And the, and the first-

52:11 Speaker 5 The end of Adar.

52:12 Speaker 1 Right. And the, and the, the first time that the Rebbe went downstairs to daven, back downstairs to daven was, was, uh, Yom Tov of Pesach. Leil Yom Tov of Pesach. And I remember this one day, and now the Rebbe-

52:25 Speaker 5 So those, those, those months, the Rebbe moved everything upstairs. Shabbos, everything was upstairs.

52:29 Speaker 1 Right. Right. I was, I was sh- you know, Shabbos morning, davening was up. Everything besides for Farbrengen.

52:34 Speaker 5 But the Rebbe came downstairs for Farbrengen.

52:36 Speaker 1 Right. Right. So besides Farbrengen-

52:37 Speaker 5 Yeah

52:38 Speaker 1 ... the Rebbe davened upstairs, right? So, so Shabbos, obviously, you know, how much room is there upstairs for Shabbos? So you do have to come a lot earlier, right, to chap a place. But, but there you could hear haftarah like you never hear downstairs. There was-- That, that's, uh, I remember that very strongly. I mean, besides davening upstairs was special, but the haftarah was, was really, um... And then the first time the Rebbe came back down was Leil Yom Tov. It was a big simcha. I remember when, uh, when the Rebbe came down. So I'm, I'm bringing this up to say that when, what I said before about like the Rebbe being besimcha, the Rebbe being victorious, it, it also has to do poshut with the Rebbe's, uh, health, begashmiyus, because, you know, the Rebbe was having a hard time walking, and the Rebbe stopped coming out of the main door of Seven seventy, you know? And since then, I mean, he didn't. Usually, I mean, depending where he went, you know, went to the sukkah or went, uh, to the library. So he did come out from the front. But I'm saying in general, with the car and everything, the Rebbe from that time didn't really go from front of Seven seventy. It's a, it's a big, uh, detail, uh, to have in mind over here, you know? There's a-- I'm saying the symbolism of it, you know?

53:51 Speaker 5 So what you're saying is basically that besides the Rebbe's, the, the, the agavas nefesh and the anguish that it caused the Rebbe, and everyone felt that. That was like probably the first time the Chassidim were privy to such, you know, uh, emotion to the Rebbe. Also, at that time, there was also all of a sudden a, a physical health-related, uh, thing with the Rebbe that also pained Chassidim. So it was like a very-- It was a, it was a whole tekufah basically of, of, uh, that feeling for the Rebbe. And then I guess Heyteh this kind of lifted that. That, that's what you're saying.

54:29 Speaker 1 Right. Right. Yeah.

54:32 Speaker 5 I'm summarizing and asking, confirming, making sure I'm getting it right.

54:35 Speaker 1 Yeah. It's, it's, you said it right. I mean, before that, we only heard-- We did hear the Rebbe, you know, speaking very emotionally about, uh, you know, the Eretz Yisrael and Miyuhudi and different things. I mean, the, the, the passion when the Rebbe would speak about or, or even, you know, Ad Mosai, for example.

54:54 Speaker 5 Mm-hmm.

54:54 Speaker 1 You know? But, but, but still, all those issues is one thing, but something so personal, you know, the seforim and the nasiach of the Rebbe and it's affecting the Rebbe begashmiyus, that was a whole other level. And therefore, the simcha of it when, when, when it was, uh, it was Dina Natza, yeah, then the simcha was, um... You know, I, I, I-

55:17 Speaker 5 Right

55:17 Speaker 1 ... I'll tell you a side comment, but I heard, uh, recently, I listened again to the Farbrengen of, uh, Yud Dalet, Yud Dalet Kislev tav shin lamed tes, which is 50 years, you know, the anniversary. So the Rebbe says with an expression that, uh, he's asking why, why is there a Farbrengen? We didn't see by Rabbi Senen Sieinu that... Well, first of all, not all of them came to 50 years of anniversary, but those who did, we didn't see that they did anything, uh, publicly with Chassidim. So then the Rebbe said, what, what Rebbe explained over there, but he said that it's Minaggim Medina, that in a day like this that come the The Bnei Mishpacha and Oyavim. That expression, I heard it. So basically, the Rebbe is saying, so that farbrengen, this is not just a Shabbos farbrengen, this is a farbrengen to the Mishpacha. You know, the Mishpacha, the loved ones. So if you, if you listen carefully, the Rebbe is basically telling you, if you're there or if you're listening to it, you're, you're a Mishpacha, you know? So it's a similar thing, you know. With something... Didan Notzach was like an inside situation, you know, that the Rebbe with the, the Nasiyim, the Mishpacha, the Sfarim. It was a different category of connection, and therefore, I think the Chassidim also felt more, more Hamish kind of a situation, you know?

56:45 Speaker 5 Right. I mean, today there's a whole other appreciation and understanding of Heites when you... First of all, knowing more details of the story and also all of the Sichas about Hu Bachayim, which we appreciate, you know, after Gematamos, I guess in hindsight much more. But you're saying at that time it was a whole different component. That was the main thing about the-

57:07 Speaker 1 Right, right

57:07 Speaker 5 ... the relationship with the Chassidim and the Rebbe.

57:10 Speaker 1 Right. I, I agree with you that in perspective from today, um, this was all basically a, a, you know, preparation for our situation today because those Sichas that the Rebbe says in those years regarding the, the Sfarim and Didan Notzach, you know, that every year the Rebbe gets Meraktiv and then Hu Bachayim and all those issues, yeah, those, those Sichas are giving us a lot of Koch today. And, uh, it even, it even seemed as if this was some sort of a, a honor for us, you know, or something. I don't know exactly what to call it, but that's how we look at it today. Yeah, absolutely.

57:47 Speaker 5 Right. Okay. So, um, what are some of the... So Mem-Vav, Mem-Zayin, you're there, and I, I asked in the, in the beginning about understanding the Sichas.

57:59 Speaker 1 Right.

57:59 Speaker 5 And you said that as the years went on, there was more of that. So are there any like, um, highlights from those early years that, uh, that you remember that... Something that you wanna share, like particularly... I mean, there's some, there's, uh, uh, like a moment that kind of cemented the you being plugged into the Rebbe's mission, you know, or, or, or something like that, that type of thing. You know, there's like, um, there's, there's some famous Sichas at the Achalat Sila. There's, there's, there's, there's different, uh, things like that may-maybe you wanna share.

58:34 Speaker 1 Right. So, so I-I-I'll, I'll tell you something in general, and then I'll, I'll zero in on a couple moments. But in general, I wanna say that, um, you know, in, in, in those years there were, uh, there was farbrengen almost, uh, every Shabbos. I mean, after, after the Rebbe, for sure there was a farbrengen every Shabbos. But even before that, it was almost every Shabbos, you know. Um, the, uh, the amount of Torah that the Rebbe poured at us, um, in, in real-time. I mean, obviously today we have the, in the bookshelf, you know, we, we could see. I mean, it takes exactly three seconds to show somebody what is the, the, you know, the fruits of the Rebbe's Torah. I mean, we see the volume of it even, even... So that's obvious today when you look at the library, you could show it, Poshet Bagashmis, right? But I'm speaking about in, in, in real, in real, uh, in real life, in real, uh, happening, right? So you're there, you're bochur in seven seventy, okay? So the amount of Sichas mo- Let's say you have a liquid every Shabbos, okay? And you have the Sicha of last week, which the Ancha is thirty to forty pages, you know. And then there's all kinds of things in the middle of the week, right? S- I'm just saying s- to, to catch, to be, um, what, what's the word? Uh, to be like updated with the Rebbe and the recent publication.

1:00:06 Speaker 5 Up to date.

1:00:07 Speaker 1 Up to date. Yeah. Thank you. To be up to date with the Rebbe, yeah. Let's say I, I arrive, uh, Iyar, Iyar, uh, Adam and Chavah. You know, to be up to date, that itself took a lot of work just to catch up to where the Rebbe is holding, you know. And, um, you know, let's say there's a farbrengen on Shabbos. So farbrengen is, let's say four hours, five hours, depending which year. But Lamazogen, this is about what it is. And you feel... And by Monday, Tuesday, depends which week, Ancha comes out, the whole farbrengen is written, okay? So no matter what I got on Shabbos, now I have the Ancha and I have to learn it, right? So I'm saying this to say that for somebody like me, you know, somebody came for a week or two or a month, but somebody was there for like straight, you know, five years and then like another two, three years in and out, something like that, which is basically my motive. I'm just saying there's no way for me to hold it all in my mind. So but I do know, I do know where, when I was there. So for me, let's say this year particularly is Al Boim Shana from Mem-Vav. So I'm looking, you know, doing Tishrei more. Now also a little bit, but doing Tishrei, Haphtit, you know, Al Boim Shana. A lot of times I look in farbrengens and I'm like: Wow, I was there. That's amazing. You know, I feel,

1:01:34 Speaker 1 I feel more connected with it because I was there, and yet I don't remember it at all. You know, cer-certain, I'm saying certain Sichas, I'm like: Really? How can I... I don't remember it, you know. Because we're talking about some seriously high volume of, of Sichas that you have to remember. I wish I remember more than I do, you know. But then I'm saying this as a setting to on the other side of it, there are some moments that were so strong that Would never forget, you know. Like, they were there, the "" in my mind. You wake me up in the middle of the night, I'm, I'm, I'm there, you know. Um, Baruch Hashem, you know. Those moments were obviously the more, uh, em-emotionally charged moments, because usually that's how we remember things, is when there's, like, something going on, you know. So, so for example, yes, you, you mentioned, um, "" that's a sicha that, uh, I remember where I was standing. I remember... First, well, first of all, that sicha, which is, uh, which is also a Likut, you know, it's in the Likutei Sichos. It's Mogeh. I'm pretty sure it's Mogeh twice. You know, one version in Likutei Sichos. There's another version that the Rebbe was magiyah right after. It's almost the same, but not exactly. But there's also another interesting detail to that sicha, which is very unusual. Not, not completely unusual, but, uh, highly unusual. And that is that the Rebbe actually said the questions of the Rashi a

1:03:05 Speaker 1 few days before, because there was a yechidus for the Orchim who came for Pesach. This is like a cou- This is, uh, right after Pesach, this farbrengen, like a week or two. And there was a yechidus, and in, in, in the yechidus, which we all heard, you know, we would be standing outside and listening to the yechidus. Uh, or maybe, maybe it's... I think it's a yechidus. I'm pretty sure it's a yechidus. Or maybe it's a sicha to women. No, I think it's a yechidus. And the Rebbe there sa- He says that he's gonna speak about it on Shabbos. It's, uh, it, it's the chitas of the day, I think. So the Rebbe starts with a sicha on the, on the, on the Chumash, and then he starts asking questions about Rashi, what is Rashi talking about, and he's presenting all the questions. And by Shabbos, this already I'm not sure, but it might have been even Mugen. Could be that the Rebbe was magiyah the questions or they were printed. Like, everybody knew the Rebbe was gonna talk about it. I'm just saying, um, th-this did happen many times that we knew the Rashi. That, or even, or even sometimes the question. But to have a mamish a sicha, it's like a, it's like a 15-minute sicha, I think. It's not, it's not short, you know. So we knew, we knew the questions. But, uh, there, what, what I remember particularly is not davka the biur itself, which, which I did hear. That's talking

1:04:23 Speaker 1 before about sichas that I understood or not. By the way-

1:04:27 Speaker 5 You have to give a, you have to give a background of, of what the, what the, the Rashi is.

1:04:31 Speaker 1 Of what the Rashi is, right. So the Rashi is basically, um, uh, "" Don't, uh, stand, uh, by when your friend is, uh, blood is, is being spilled. Okay? That's basically the pasuk. And, and, and Rashi gives an example that, uh, "" somebody is drowning in the river and, and, and a, and a "", a wild animal or robbers, uh, come to him. Okay? And, and, and, and, and you could save him. In this particular, it's a, it's a very particular scenario. Somebody is drowning in the river, and, uh, and a wild animal or robbers are, are at the edge of the river. So it's not only he's drowning, but if he's trying to save himself, he has nowhere to go. And the Rebbe was analyzing this, comparing it to the, to the Midrash, to the source of where Rashi takes it from, and analyzing the differences in, uh, you know, in the wording there, and also just the idea, why is Rashi getting into such a particular situation? And the answer, I'm, I'm, of course, I'm just saying the point of it. The answer that the Rebbe gave was that Rashi is presenting us with a situation where there's a safek, what is, you know, whether you're gonna save the person or you may get hurt yourself because it's a wild animal or robbers. And nonetheless, you do have to risk your, uh, your own safety, which is a safek. You're not sure if you're gonna get hurt or not, and, um, to, to

1:06:09 Speaker 1 save another person. Okay? So that's the general topic and the general idea. But there, when the Rebbe, uh, s-discussed this idea that you could actually, uh, you know, save this person, the Rebbe, when, when he said it, you know, those words, "" And, uh, if, if HaKadosh Baruch Hu is showing you a situation like this, why is He showing it to you? "" You know, and I remember the Rebbe like, uh, shouting it, so, so, so to say. You know, 770 is quiet. When the Rebbe is speaking anyway, it's quiet. You know, nobody is speaking. You know, farbrengen, everybody's, uh, as they say, you can hear the, the flies. You know, it's not, it's not an exaggeration. It was really very, very quiet. You know, when the Rebbe was speaking, nobody was, uh, nobody dared to, to, uh, to speak, but to, to even make any sounds, you know. So it was very quiet. And you hear the Rebbe and his, his tone, you know, is going up. And he's basically-- But the idea is that he's saying to us that we could save another Yid. You know, "". So farbrengens like that, you know, when the Rebbe basically, um, um, you know, put it in our mind, not, not just the idea as an intellectual idea that we could help another Yid, but it's, that it's our responsibility, that we must do it, you know. So it's like we have in the parsha where Yosef, uh, you know, he sees Yaakov Avinu, you know.

1:07:39 Speaker 1 There, there it's in a situation of, uh, where he's about to do something not right, and he sees Yaakov Avinu. But I think about us, those who heard the Rebbe or today learning the sichas, but of course, if you heard it from the Rebbe, it's like sometimes there are situations, you know, when I don't feel like doing mitzvot, you know. I'm like, I'm, uh, whatever it is. I'm at some airport and it's not like... You ask me, I'm okay, just keep doing my thing, you know. But you hear the Rebbe's voice, you know, "" Like, "Alo," you could do something, you know. Those, those things, uh- Have a huge impression, you know? And also, and also the, th-that thought that you could affect... You know, a lot of times it's not just that I don't feel like it, but even deeper is that I don't think it's gonna work. You know, like I was on Shlichus, whatever it is, we have to go speak to the mayor, tell him, uh, I don't know, to give permission for a Hanukkah, whatever it might be. And you feel like, "Nah, why? Why would he care about it?" You know, and all of a sudden, the Rebbe's voice, you hear it in your head, and it's like, "Eh, what are you talking about? Of course, you could do it. Well, I give you the koichus to do it. You know, tho-those are, uh, very powerful, uh, uh, moments where the Rebbe instilled those ideas. I, I always tell

1:08:59 Speaker 1 people, by the way, that, you know, the Rebbe, the, the... There's two tools that the Rebbe used. I mean, there's more than two, but two general tools the Rebbe used to affect the world. One was Yechidus, you know, personal encounters with people, which obviously changed people's lives completely. And the other one is, uh, Farbrengen. Now, Farbrengen was a bigger keli for the Rebbe. Um, you know, first of all, it, you know, Yechidus also stopped at some point. But even in general, Yechidus, uh, Farbrengen, this is really the, the way the Rebbe did it, and I think Yechidus... I mean, I'm not here to rate it. I'm just saying, like, Farbrengen was the main keli, right? And, um, that's what made, you know, people go to Shlichus and follow the Rebbe and Bechir Dim was Farbrengen basically, right? So yeah, those, those Sichas, it's not just the intellectual ideas, which are amazing, obviously, but it's the way the Rebbe gave it to us, you know? Mesoro.

1:09:56 Speaker 5 Mm-hmm.

1:09:57 Speaker 1 Mesoro. Pashut gave us the ideas. Those moments of, uh, passionate Farbrengens is what, uh, went into our, uh, hearts, you know?

1:10:08 Speaker 5 Yeah, and it's interesting that you're saying that the Rebbe gave this, and this is what-- This is the, with that power, you know, to go on Shlichus. I think I heard from others that this Farbrengen that you're describing,

1:10:21 Speaker 1 Mm-hmm.

1:10:23 Speaker 5 Was a big, uh, wake-up call. There's a few Sichas during those years, strong words that the Rebbe used about Shlichus. I, I, I think, I believe I heard that there are people that, like, that was like when it hit them, like, um, when you become Shluchim. Like, that's, that's the, you know, the Bachrim at the time. That was like when it hit them that their task is to be, is, is to go on Shlichus.

1:10:42 Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. In those years, you know, Botei Chabad in, in, in winter, Mem Zain, you know. And also, Aroom, Aroom did a notzach also when the Rebbe said, "Tefuch Hadosha," you know. So definitely, definitely. There, there... Somebody once told me, somebody in Crown Heights, um, that have, had a lot of, have a lot of kids. So he told me j- And he's like, uh, I, I guess maybe five to eight years older than me, something like that, you know? So s-he said once, uh, jokingly, but, but it's not really jokingly. He said, "Listen, when I was in seven seventy, the Rebbe talked very strongly against family planning." You know? "When you were in seven seventy, the Rebbe talked very strongly about Botei Chabad, you know. So that's the difference. I, I live here, and I have a lot of kids, and, uh, you guys went on Shlichus, you know." But it, it's a joke, but it's true. It, it's definitely true, and you're right that in Mem Ov, Mem Zain, the... Even though the Rebbe spoke about Shlichus, you know, before very, very strongly, but I think in those years, the Rebbe emphasized more and more that he's speaking to everybody. That this is like you don't have to wait to be called. You know, before there was Shlichus, so if Maskirus called you, then it meant that you're getting the job, something like that, you know. But in our years, in, in like Mem Ov, Mem Zain, Mem Ches, in those years, it just

1:12:01 Speaker 1 became like, not, not that you don't have to be, uh, official, but I'm saying like the Rebbe pushed this idea that everybody could, uh, excuse me. Excuse me. The, the, the Rebbe pushed the idea that it's for everybody, Chazak. So it's true. It's true.

1:12:21 Speaker 5 Right. And, um, someone else that I spoke to, uh, in one of the previous podcasts was talking about that in his years, he has his years, but now you guys, after Gematamos, have everything. I think the lashon he used was Mikshachas. So I guess now we have to have large families and go on Shlichus if they're both.

1:12:41 Speaker 1 Yeah. That's right.

1:12:42 Speaker 5 Okay. So, um, so... Okay, I'm just, I'm, I'm thinking about that, those years in that Tekufa.

1:12:53 Speaker 1 Okay.

1:12:53 Speaker 5 So talking Mem Ov, Mem Zain. So then we get to Mem Ches. So first of all, something that everybody... First it was Hakal, Mem Ches, the big Kaf that the Rebbe had in Hakal, and then also everybody that I talk to describes Simchas Torah, Mem Ches, as out of this world.

1:13:16 Speaker 1 Right.

1:13:16 Speaker 5 Maybe you wanna talk about that.

1:13:19 Speaker 1 Okay. So first of all, yeah, of course, of course, I also talk about it. In fact, when I, when I talk about it with people, I always tell them, "Don't, don't believe me. Ask other people about Mem Ches." So, so get it from other people as well. So I'd say like this. Listen, I, by Mem Ches, I was, uh, um, really only, only before that at three Simchas Torahs, right? Mem, Mem He, Mem Ov, Mem Zain. Yeah. So I'm not, uh, not the expert on Simchas Torahs, but I was there for three years, uh, prior, and, um, yeah, it was, it was very different. Well, first of all, Tisma in general, you know, when Tisma came and the Rebbe talk about Simcha because of the letters of the year, Tisma or Tesama. So the Rebbe already pushed Simcha very, very strongly. And then it was the moment when Rashag, um, left. Okay. There was a combination of a couple things that happened together.

1:14:25 Speaker 5 He left that Hakafos.

1:14:27 Speaker 1 Yeah, he left. Now, you know, that moment, he, he basically came into... Well, first it was Myriv, you know, and then there was Hakafos. So he did come into Hakafos. And he's a big player in the s- in, in the scene of Hakafos because he goes to, to Hakafos with the Rebbe, the first one and the last one.

1:14:44 Speaker 5 Dances with the Rebbe.

1:14:45 Speaker 1 Obviously. And then dances with the Rebbe. And the years that I was there before, um, you know, he was already quite a senior gentleman. Um, and the Rebbe would put a hand on him, and the, the dance would be extremely, uh, slow due to his condition and, and this is just how it was, you know. Um, so the Rebbe Pashut physically couldn't really do much when, when he's with him, you know. So then he comes in for a koves, and really just like in the very beginning or, or maybe it was already after my ri-- No, my ri- was separate. No, he came in, it was very close to the beginning. This is like the first ten minutes. I don't know. He, he didn't feel well after he came in or whatever it was. The Rebbe looked, "Iya, ihe." A few minutes go by and everybody gets it that he's leaving. Now, let me tell you something. The simcha that everybody felt, with all due respect to Hashag, yeah? But 'cause everybody got it that the Rebbe is gonna be by himself. We-- You know that it's gonna be a whole different koves you ever seen. I mean it's like-

1:15:57 Speaker 6 And it, it happened once before, by the way. I think in Mamalif, I think Hashag had a stroke.

1:16:02 Speaker 1 Right.

1:16:02 Speaker 6 And that year he wasn't there, and the Rebbe danced by himself, so there was precedent for it.

1:16:05 Speaker 1 Okay. So that I didn't know at the moment. And, uh, and even if people did, you know, still, you know, it was like, uh, an ama- So the simcha, I remember this, like everybody was like... And also the Rebbe, the Rebbe himself. I remember the, the nigun after or the first thing that happened after, everything was different. It was pretty... At least this is how I remember it, that it was pretty, uh, felt that it wasn't just us. Like there was simcha. There was not... I mean, let him be healthy and everything, but there's gonna be something else going on here, okay? So that's first of all. Then lemaysa. Lemaysa, that's actually what happened when the Rebbe was holding the Sefat Emet by himself and, uh, you know, looking at certain sides of seven seventy in a more particular way and, you know, and pointing the Sefat Emet towards them, and it was just incredible. Because let's say if I was, if I saw the Rebbe's back for a moment, right? When he's like looking at the other side, and you look in front of you and you see the whole side that the Rebbe looks at, basically going through the ceiling and down, and you know that in a, in a few seconds or whatever, it's gonna be our turn, it was just really, uh, unbelievable. Okay. So, so, so the koves of the Rebbe by himself were a major thing. But besides that, add to that, that also the regular koves. Also the

1:17:33 Speaker 1 regular koves, the, the movements that the Rebbe did with his body and, and, and just the level of intensity. I remember, I remember in general a couple times, but in more particular, I remember it in Hakofes Mechus. I remember telling myself, you know, "Work harder to remember what you're seeing." Um, seriously, I'm, I'm not, uh, making it up. I remember it mamash b'shas ma'ase that I'm telling myself, "You have to remember this. You have to remem--" 'Cause, 'cause I remember feeling that this is not... I can't-- I couldn't even believe that I actually see that the Rebbe is physically doing, you know, with his hands, you know, clapping and the, the speed of it. And it was just like you, you were looking and it was like th-this can't be. This ca- can't be. This is not... What I'm seeing here is not begashmius going on. It's impossible that it ca- It's something else. Like, there's no words to describe it. But I do remember feeling it b'shas ma'ase. And then when the Rebbe came back to his place, um, I think this was must have been the second night. You know, I don't-- I, I think. The Rebbe, there was like a few other songs that the Rebbe did from his place. You know, in other words, he went under stairs. Hakofes pretty much ended, and instead of the Rebbe going to the sender, um, he's there and he's singing a few more songs. Singing "Niet Niet." I remember even, I remember even that,

1:19:08 Speaker 1 that the Rebbe is, everybody's singing a song, and the Rebbe wants to start another song. But, you know, the seven seventy, everybody's still singing. Not every-- And label from the back is behind the Rebbe, and he's going with the hands, everybody to be quiet because they hapt that the Rebbe wants to sing another song. The Rebbe sang Ufaratzto and Niet Niet and, and another, another song, um, that I don't remember right now. But that extra hakofes, you know, hakofes, um, when it came to the end, you know, there was always, uh, Ashrei Nu. Everybody sing, "Ashrei nu, Ashrei nu, ma tov chelkenu." When, when, when the Rebbe would come back to his place and the Sefat Emet would be back. And that song, I don't know when it started that everybody was singing it, but that was, that Ashrei Nu at the end of hakofes that was sang every year was pashut a love song to the Rebbe. You know, just imagine it after the whole Tishrei, after the whole thing, and this is hakofes. And everybody feels so grateful to, to Hashem that we are actually seeing this, that we are part of this. That, you know, so that Ashrei Nu was just like, you know, everybody was really there 100%. And so in that year, when the Rebbe-- It felt like the Rebbe himself, like we felt Ashrei Nu was like, we don't want this ever to end, right? In this much, it felt like the Rebbe was, uh, was feeling it, like

1:20:35 Speaker 1 almost. It was like the Rebbe also didn't want it to end. He added more nigunim and more nigunim. And in fact, I remember also that some people, I was then, uh, you know, 20 years old, whatever, and I heard like a day or two later, people told me, you know, there's some elder Hasidim are saying that maybe it's not, uh, such a good sign, you know, that the Rebbe is so Besimcha. Because, you know, when the Rebbe to Besimcha Betishrei Maybe he's trying to mumtik some zeira, and I'm like, "The bocher," I remember dismissing it, thinking, "Who is the meshuga that came up with this?" Like, it didn't sound to me at all like a, like a legit way of thinking. But I do remember that people mentioned it. I d- I definitely do remember it, and I'm rem-rem- remembering not accepting it at all. But obviously we all know, you know, what happened in the Chof Beis Shvat. So there was that sense in Tis mach. Tis mach was a very emotionally charged year because it started with, with this crazy bang of simcha that we've never seen. Um, and then, I mean, it took a few months, you know? But still, it did happen in the winter. The Rebbe, and the Rebbe sitting shiva, and then walking by the Rebbe sitting shiva. This was, like, not something anybody w- thought about or wanted to be a part of. And, and yet, you know, at the end of the year, um, the Rebbe says,

1:22:04 Speaker 1 it's, it's actually in a muggi di kisicha, in, in kisaitz at Tis mach, where the Rebbe speak about the simcha beta roso, and the Rebbe also got up to dance over there. This was also one of the, you know, unforgettable farbrengens of all times, you know, both in terms of content of what the Rebbe is saying over there, that we need to be more besimcha to bring Mashiach. I mean, it's a pretty radical, uh, sicha there. But also the dance, that the Rebbe dance. B- and also the Rebbe said over there that it was a atlocha di kiyo. I think a mutzlich di ki, atlocha di ki, the, the schnaats atlocha because of buildings, because b- Tis mach is also schnaats abinyan. But, you know, it's an amazing thing that in that year, the Rebbe actually writes in a muggi di kisicha that it was a atlocha di kiyo, you know? So, it was a mix, you know, that, uh... But definitely, definitely Tis mach was, uh, and also the, the demand, the drisha from Rebbe that we should be besimcha. No, it's like all over th- that year, and, and, you know, that definitely, uh... You know, I, I, as, as somebody who, who basically kind of grew up in Seven Seventy, I'll tell you something. I'm always ready for a dance. Seriously. It's, even today, you know, I, I live in Twass. I daven in a Polish shul. They don't dance so much in, in the shul, uh, that I daven in. But

1:23:29 Speaker 1 today, punked, you know, somebody started dancing after davening. Well, some of the people in the shul, they look at him, whatever. Maybe he's having a hard time. I don't know. But for me, I see you dancing, I immediately kadima. You know? I'm like, "Why don't we do it every day?" 'Cause, you know, growing up in Seven Seventy, I mean, this is, like, the most natural, normal thing to do, is to be besimcha even if you're not besimcha. It doesn't matter if I'm there or not. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a, the Rebbe want me to learn besimcha, you know?

1:23:57 Speaker 6 Yeah.

1:23:57 Speaker 1 So, uh, that's definitely, uh, a result of, uh, education in Seven Seventy in those years, no question about it.

1:24:05 Speaker 6 And definitely is a common scene in Seven Seventy, especially in the later years when the Rebbe started saying sicha in the weekday very often. The Rebbe, when there's a shtum di kisicha, whether about simcha or about anything else, Mashiach, the natural reaction when the Rebbe leaves it, the Rebbe, there's the whole rikud, the whole dance comes at me-

1:24:23 Speaker 1 Right, right

1:24:23 Speaker 6 ... every other day.

1:24:25 Speaker 1 Yeah, I w- I-

1:24:25 Speaker 6 In the mid- in the middle of, in the middle of the riots, there was a sicha about the, the sheina di gili for Mashiach. You know, uh, everyone's dancing at Seven Seventy. You know?

1:24:33 Speaker 1 Right, right, right.

1:24:36 Speaker 6 But-

1:24:36 Speaker 1 Exactly. So-

1:24:36 Speaker 6 Yeah

1:24:37 Speaker 1 ... you know.

1:24:37 Speaker 6 So may- may... Yeah. Um, you know, if you go back to Mem Pches, it's actually... I mean, when you learn the sichas, which I happen to learn a lot of the sichas Mem Pches, um, the Fiarach recently. So it's tachlik, you read them, especially Tisha, and they were saying about the Tis mach at the Sam mach, and then you know what's happening Chof Beis Shvat. It's, like, hard to, to, to, you know, compute exactly how that happened. But may- maybe, maybe you could talk a little bit about Chof Beis Shvat Mem Pches and the stachas of the Rebbeson.

1:25:14 Speaker 1 Right. So let me just say this in, in general comments before we get into the details. I think that maybe for people who weren't there, you know, uh, I don't know if everybody knows the feeling of, you know, what we felt back then. It, it was, it was a big disaster, basically. You know? It's like, in my, in my book, and I don't feel so comfortable to say it, but I, but I do feel it, you know, that Gimel Tam was basically started in Chof Beis Shvat. In other words, the fact that the Rebbeson passed away, uh, that was not, um... I mean, the vision was the Rebbe, you know, is taking us to Geula with the Rebbeson. I mean, it doesn't matter that we never saw her and we didn't know anything about her. That, that, that's, uh, you know, she's the Rebbe's Rebbeson. I mean, she's our Rebbeson. But whether I know her or I see her, okay, so, so she's not, she's extremely tanua, and she's not, uh... You know, by the way, I did, I did, uh, look at the Rebbeson once, um, and it was quite obvious that she was not so happy about it. So I experienced personally this thing about the Rebbeson not wanting to be, uh, seen in public, that, uh-

1:26:43 Speaker 6 What was that?

1:26:44 Speaker 1 That was the, you know, the Rebbeson, in those years, in the, in the later mems, they built, uh, this, uh, apartment for the Rebbe in the back of the library, and the Rebbe would go there for Shabbos, right? Instead of walking home. I, I don't remember which year it started, but when I came, which is, you know, mid-Mem Vov, this was already how it was, you know?

1:27:07 Speaker 6 The Rebbe and the Rebbeson were there for Shabbos.

1:27:08 Speaker 1 The Rebbeson was there for Shabbos, and the Rebbe went to, to the library, and, and in the morning, he would, uh, walk, uh, back to Seven Seventy. So, uh, so the Rebbeson would be driven To 770 a while before Shabbos by, uh, Gansburg. You know, he was the shamash, and he was the driver. And usually, there was, there was a awning, uh, covering the door, you know, the driveway of the library, which, um, I guess it's not there anymore since they built... Right? I mean, I'm trying to-

1:27:42 Speaker 6 Yeah, it's, it's still there, the driveway.

1:27:43 Speaker 1 Still there? It is still there. Okay. So that driveway-

1:27:45 Speaker 6 And I, I don't know, I don't know if you could... Yeah. Mm-hmm.

1:27:48 Speaker 1 Yeah, probably still there. I'm not, just not picturing it how it is right now. I'm remembering it how it was. Um, so anyway, um, there was a awning. It would-- Before he would go pick her up, he would lower this awning, then he would go get her. So with, with this awning down, when he would drive the car, you wouldn't see anything, which was the reason why this awning was there, so you can't see anything. But this one, one Friday, and I was there with a friend or two, sitting on the bench in the chutz dotan, and, um, it was just before Shabbos. We were already ready for Shabbos. I don't, I don't know why we were there, but we were there. And we noticed that somebody forgot to lower this awning. So we figured, you know, the Rebbetzin's probably gonna be driven in any moment. I mean, she's coming for Shabbos. So this is our opportunity to, to, to look, you know? So that's what we did. I mean, nobody was there, just the three of us or two of us. And he opened the door, and she came. You know, he brought her the walker. She had a walker then. And so she gave us a look, just turning with her head to look at us looking at her. And just the way it felt to me, it felt to me... I mean, it wasn't like a upset look, but it wasn't, it was like, "Uh, guys, what are you doing here?" You

1:29:07 Speaker 1 know, kind of that kind of a look, you know? Like, "Yeah." It's like, "You know I'm not, uh, here to be seen, so, so why are you here to look?" Something like that. At least that's how we felt. So we did see her. But I'm saying the, the general vision was that the Rebbe and the Rebbetzin will lead us to Moshiach Tzitiyenu, you know. That was just like a given. So once that happened, and all of a sudden you have, uh, you know, Rebbetzin passing, not only that, I mean, the Rebbe, we saw the Rebbe. I mean, could you just try to imagine this feeling, you know, Motzaei Shabbos, the Rebbe came for Shabbos. Look, we, it was obvious that the Rebbe, even though he was in pain, obviously, but it was also obvious that he's not going in the regular route of, uh, you know, just sitting shiva and, and, and, and, and all that. I mean, he's doing everything that Shulchan Aruch says. But I remember when the Rebbe, after the funeral, the Rebbe said a very short sicha in the house. That, that was a big, uh, sign of, you know, we're gonna go forward anyway. Now, the Rebbe came for Shabbos. I mean, it was Shabbos Mevorchim. So the Rebbe came for Shabbos-

1:30:20 Speaker 6 770.

1:30:21 Speaker 1 What? In 770, yeah. It was... So it was a mix between, you know, the Rebbe sitting shiva, but the Rebbe keep going, and the, the things the Rebbe said, "V'chayat and libo." You see, I, I actually think that the Rebbe mamshich given a new way in the world of how to look at mourning, you know. I think people before, um... You know, sometimes, sometimes I think about things that sound maybe extreme Chabad, you know, like as if all I'm thinking about is, uh, the sichas and I don't see the world. But really, I'm saying this from the other perspective. I see it not from the sichas. I see it from reality. I see in reality, especially in Israel, but it's also in America, that a lot of times when people go through, lo aleinu, go through a passing or even a tragedy, you know, people try to navigate the energy right away into mitzvahs, writing sifrei Torahs, buildings, making buildings and names of people who passed away. I really believe that that, uh, way of thinking in the world, the Rebbe brought it down in Chof Beis Shvat. The Rebb- the way the Rebbe himself spoke right away and, "Un bifrad that their name was chayim." This is how the Rebbe ended the first time he spoke when he-- the day of the funeral, and he came home. This is how he ended the sicha, "Bifrad that their name was chayim."

1:31:48 Speaker 6 Chayim.

1:31:49 Speaker 1 Um, so, so the whole thing of chayim and mamshich the life, you know, that, that, that was, uh, what the Rebbe brought down. But meanwhile, meanwhile, while it was happening, you know, Motzaei Shabbos, uh, the Rebbe was sitting and, you know, in his place in a small, uh, uh, shiva chair, you know, and everybody bochrim and everybody. I mean, we didn't go to the house, to Menachem Mendel, the Rebbe in the house, but when in 770, you know. But just the feeling of it that we pa-- I'm, I'm going Menachem Mendel, the Rebbe. I mean, which, what is going on in the world if we got to that moment? It felt so, so strange, you know? Especially also in light of dismach and all that. I mean, the whole thing was kind of, uh, surreal. Um, but that's what it was, you know?

1:32:40 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm. And then started a whole new tikkun with the Rebbe being in the house, and every- in 770, besides for Shabbos, basically moving to the Rebbe's house, like-

1:32:50 Speaker 1 Right

1:32:50 Speaker 6 ... automatically.

1:32:51 Speaker 1 Right. So, you know, the, the davening with the Rebbe is, um, is something very special that we had. You know, in those days, uh, once in a while you would get to daven mamash in the Rebbe's house, but the rest of the time, you know, bochrim, most bochrim weren't able to be there every day, you know. But in 770, you, um, you heard the Rebbe, you know, during time of davening, you heard the Rebbe in the speakers in 770. So basically, you would be there 9:30, put on tefillin and davening the Rebbe. It was actually Pretty, uh, amazing, uh, situation, you know? And, and because of that also, I mean, uh, the nusach of the Rebbe's davening, I pretty much know it from that year, you know. Otherwise, I wouldn't know it so well. But Shemoneh Esreh, you know, hear the Rebbe three times a day daven Shemoneh Esreh, you know. "Se bachdavid avdcha mechir osat mi avdecha omer tor." You know, you hear it a whole year. So and I, and also recommend to people who, who weren't there, I mean, the, the, the rec- the recordings are there. You know, how many Chassidim, uh, you know, daven with the Rebbe once in a while, you know? Just put it on and daven with the Rebbe. It's a pretty amazing thing that it's even available, you know. So that, that was like, uh, uh, a highlight of this month, you know, davening with the Rebbe a whole year, uh, was that. And, um, yeah,

1:34:16 Speaker 1 but in general, I'll, I'll be honest and say I don't wanna get too, uh, too, uh, depressed over here. But I, I will say that what I said before, that it was, um, a honor for Gimel Tammuz. I'll, I'll tell you something, um, I, I don't come from Lubavitch background, okay? The latov ulemotav. You know, really, I'm, I'm being very honest, and I didn't, I didn't grow up in a Chassidishe home, and that, uh, you know, uh, results in, you know, just you don't get the same education, you know. Um, there's certain things you get... It's like somebody who didn't grow up frum, you know? You either, you either hear it when you're three years old about Moshe Rabbeinu and Yaakov Avinu, and if you do hear it at three years old, this is... You, you a certain kind of a Yid. And if not, listen, some people... I mean, I'm married to a baal teshuva. My wife didn't grow up like this. I know this very, uh, from a very close relationship. Baruch Hashem, you know, a Chassidisha woman, everything, but there's something you didn't grow up with. So the same thing, you know, somebody grow up with the Rebbe, Baruch Hashem, like my kids, you know, like kids who grew up from, from zero, from the birth, uh, from the moment of birth, they see a picture of the Rebbe. Obviously, okay? So that's the good side of it. Uh, the other side of it, I would say, if it's okay for me

1:35:40 Speaker 1 to say, that, uh, you know, sometimes you also have like, there's certain things you don't think about. So I think that in the years I was in Seven Seventy, and especially since this month, I'm, uh, embarrassed to admit, you know, that I was thinking about worldly, uh, you know, things probably more than my friends who were, uh, you know, Chabad from birth. And definitely, this month was, was, was definitely a big shakeup because, you know, the Rebbesen passes away. What's going on? I mean, this is an, uh... You know? It's just, like, brought a lot of bilbul. And also, also see this again, seeing the Rebbe sitting shiva, you know, the Rebbe didn't take a haircut. You know, a lot of things were different, you know. So, um, not, I'm not saying that this was like, uh, occupying my mind, uh, too much, you know. It was, I was there, I was in Seven Seventy. I was h- hoping and, uh, davening with everybody, you know, and Mashiach any moment. This was the headspace. But still, I mean, Chof Beis Gad was definitely a big, uh, a big bug in the plan, you know. Like a big... It was not something you can, you can totally avoid. I mean, what is, what is this, you know? So it was, it was not easy, you know?

1:36:57 Speaker 6 Right. Was, uh, were there other Chavedim that shared the sentiment, or this was your... Now, I've heard this from others, but I don't know if it was common-

1:37:06 Speaker 1 Right

1:37:06 Speaker 6 ... or if this was, um-

1:37:07 Speaker 1 Right. So, so, uh, not... Most people wouldn't speak about it. There was one friend of mine did speak to me about it, and he was actually, uh, in worse shape than I was, I guess. So he was like, uh, you know, telling me, "What do, what do you think? I mean, it happened to the Rebbesen. I mean, uh, what do you think, you know?" So there were people, uh, mostly, but mostly no. Mostly no. You know, it, it reminds me, if we're already there, you know, the sicha of, uh, bo- uh, chishboina shel ol... Bo nachshov chishboina shel olam, you know. That, that's Motzei Shabbos. I remember, I remember that sicha.

1:37:45 Speaker 6 Right, the Rebbe addressed, uh-

1:37:47 Speaker 1 Yeah, the Rebbe basically-

1:37:48 Speaker 6 ... the avoda of after Gimel Tammuz. And it was then, it was then. It was then.

1:37:50 Speaker 1 Right. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

1:37:51 Speaker 6 I mean, the Rebbe also, it was after, during the sh- during the shiva, the Rebbe wrote, uh... During the shiva, the Rebbe called in Rabbi Krinsky to, to write, organize the sevarah. I mean, all, all in-

1:38:02 Speaker 1 Right. Right. Right. So, so, so, so for example, that sicha, you know, that nobody, nobody wanted to accept that the Rebbe actually said these words. So the sicha wasn't, you know, the Rab- the Rebbe asked the Maggia, and they didn't give him... The whole thing, right? So it was... That, that gives us the kind of the feeling of where people were holding, which was, we would rather not go there, you know. That was-

1:38:30 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm

1:38:30 Speaker 1 ... uh, the thinking, and which is okay, you know. It's not that I wanted to go there. I'm just saying maybe I thought about it more than others. Uh, for exam-- I'll, I'll, I'll give you an example. You know, the Rebbe, you know, nun alef, nun beis, I, I don't remember to tell you when it started. I'm sure, uh, those who are experts in the, in the Yomanim, they probably could pull off this information. But at some point, the Rebbe started coming late into Shabbos farbrengens. It used to be that one thirty was one thirty. You know, a minute, two minutes, you know, but one thirty is one thirty. And then there was, uh, years, um, you know... I remember this, you know, it's like a quarter to two, ten to two. And just the fact that the Rebbe wasn't keeping the times the way he did before, it was unsettling. Let, let, I think that's a good word to choose, you know. Really, I'm serious. Like unsettling. It wasn't like that I was over worried about what's happening right this minute, but it was just like... And since, since Chof Beis Gad, that unsettling feeling kicked in. I mean, obviously, Mem Tes was very strong. Taf Shin Nun was amazing years. So, so the Rebbe was very, very strong, you know, in the, the, the farbrengens and the everything. It was, it wasn't, uh... I'm just saying it was lurking some, somewhere there, where before Chof Beis Gad it wasn't even on the table,

1:39:56 Speaker 1 you know. It wasn't, uh, nobody was like basically going there.

1:40:00 Speaker 6 Right. I mean, the Rebbe himself said in Chof Beis Gad, nun beis, that, um, that this, it was a different kuffar from Chof Beis Gad, was it was a new kuffar. The Rebbe said it himself, so.

1:40:11 Speaker 1 Right. Right, right, right. That's right. That's right.

1:40:12 Speaker 6 Yeah. Among Chassidim is brought to you by Chassidishe Der Her. We live in a chaotic world, a world where for us Chassidim as a , we do not have the ability to hear and see the Rebbe on a daily basis. Yet we know that the Rebbe is very much with us, and Chassidus Chabad is alive and thriving more than ever before. One needs to only tap into it. Chassidusher Der Her provides you and your family with the tools necessary to tap into all of this, whether it's the monthly magazine, the way it all began, whether it's Der Her books, Der Her online content, and so much more. Men, women, and children throughout the world benefit and use these tools on a daily basis. Whether it's children enjoying the children's magazine that comes along with the regular Der Her or enjoying the children's podcast, whether it's in yeshivas receiving the Der Her, whether it's girls in high schools enjoying Der Her Club in their local high school, people all over the world and from all walks of life enjoy and utilize these tools and take advantage of it. If you're not already subscribed to Der Her monthly magazine, do so today at derher.org. That's D-E-R-H-E-R.org. Der Her is a dynamic organization which is committed to continue providing these tools, grow on a constant basis, and do all that we can to help this effort. Baruch Hashem, it takes a lot of resources and finances to make this all happen. You can be part of Der Her

1:42:06 Speaker 6 through your financial support as well through visiting our website, derher.org, or through contacting us to setting up a meeting. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the podcast. Okay. So there's, um, this . So I, I wanna f- I wanna ask you about . For, uh, those who have been reading the Der Her magazine for the last y- year and a half, and if you're not, make sure to be subscribed at derher.org. Even if, even if you don't, uh, I'm doing a little plug of it. Even if you don't read every issue, that this is the magazine that's is, uh, important for, for the household. Anyhow, but, uh, I can't resist. But, uh, in the, in the Der Her, we have a section where we write various articles featuring different things, but we have one section that's been there from the beginning. It's called the where we part-- we, we just go through, uh, a . So the last few years was a, a kind of translation of . We've been reconstructing it from various , but we've been doing a, a there, , and now we're doing . And one thing that this, this theme that I've been seeing throughout all the months, and it's going into , is the whole idea of the Gulf War.

1:43:23 Speaker 1 Right.

1:43:23 Speaker 6 And the found-- the, the, the foundational that the Rebbe spoke then 'cause about, uh... It was, it was in reaction to, you know, the, the, a certain Rosh Yeshiva in United Israel that was speaking negatively about and very, very strong . Then obviously the whole story of the Gulf War, but that, that, you know, and then the Rebbe said that nothing's gonna happen. Uh, but, but it starts with . I mean, there was a famous speech given by that Rosh Yeshiva talking very negatively about and the Rebbe reacted to that very, very strongly. So, um, is that something that you remember well, that, uh, that, that event?

1:44:02 Speaker 1 Yes, absolutely. I'll just tell you, you, you plug in the, the Her, and I could also say, and I'm saying it, uh, honestly, since I'm bilingual with Hebrew and English, I really think the Her is like the best, um, publication. I love it because we have great stuff in Hebrew, but just the way it's organized and written, um, it's really, um, very helpful in giving the sense of what's going on in seven seventy. So I'm all in for the plug. Um-

1:44:32 Speaker 6 Okay.

1:44:33 Speaker 1 Um, yes. So I'll tell you, the excuse me. So obviously and, um, and like you said, also the, the, in the winter there, the Rebbe start speaking about, um, when the Berlin Wall fell, which is pretty much, um, the end of eighty-nine in the Gregorian calendar, and I think November eighty-nine. So the, the Rebbe spoke about in the that, uh, you know, that, uh, uh, Europe is basically instead of it being in a war, in bloodshed, um, it's falling apart peacefully.

1:45:18 Speaker 6 Kind of is.

1:45:19 Speaker 1 And, uh, yeah. And, uh, and about that, uh, famous Rosh Yeshiva, yeah, you're right. You know, there was a, there was a speech. Actually, that speech has, uh, in Hebrew, his speech has a Wikipedia entry, um, because he was speaking to- t-to- totally, uh, negatively about the Kibbutznikim and all that. And, uh, the Rebbe responded, and in -

1:45:48 Speaker 6 Hang on. It's just the, the... I, I have a question. The, the, um, this was in a buildup of, of, you know, the, the, the conflict in Kuwait that was part of the Gulf War, that speech, or it, or it wasn't connected?

1:46:02 Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know that this was in my memory relating, uh, to, to the war But it happened at the same time, you know? Um, or, or before, you know. But now I-

1:46:13 Speaker 7 So he said that, that, that-- he said he's-- he said that, uh, whatever he said, that, uh, you... That the kibbutznikim are, uh-

1:46:21 Speaker 1 Yeah. They're eating, they're eating trays, you know.

1:46:23 Speaker 7 Asher chaser.

1:46:23 Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, basically-

1:46:24 Speaker 7 As they didn't, yeah, et cetera.

1:46:26 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And, um, and we all know how it is in, uh, in Eretz Yisrael. Actually, actually that sicha that, uh, that I'm gonna talk about, it's the Vayikra Tav Shinun. That sicha, the Rebbe, the Rebbe lays a certain yesod in how we relate to other Yidden. Um, because... But, but I'll tell a little bit of a personal background for that sicha and why, why Vayikra Tav Shinun is the sicha that I'm, uh, feeling very connected to. Um, and that is because in Tav Shinun, I went to shlichus to, uh, Nepal for Pesach with two of my friends, um, Dovid Bisk and Chaim Bochalevsky. We were all bochurim then, obviously. And we went, um, to do the Pesach in Nepal. There was, there was... A lot of times people introduce me as the guy who went for the first time to Nepal, but it's not true. There was a Seder in nineteen eighty-nine. Uh, bochurim came from Australia. Mendy Castel, who is in Australia now also, and Mendy Lipsker from New York. And they, they were bochurim in, in, uh, Australia, and they went on shlichus to Kathmandu. The next year, Tav Shinun, we went from, from New York, from Merkos, with Rabbi Kotlarsky, all of a sudden he arranged it. So that shlichus that we went-

1:47:52 Speaker 7 I actually... I, I, I once spoke to Rabbi Kotlarsky, Baruch Has, about this whole story. It was connected to something you were writing in the Heer, so he gave me a little bit of a rundown of the background to that, that, those, that, that, those shlichus. And I believe he mentioned your name also.

1:48:06 Speaker 1 Right. Right. Yeah. I, uh... What happened was, is... And that we discovered years later. We didn't know that back then, but there were two, um... There were Israeli travelers in Nepal in eighty-eight, in, in Tismach, in Pesach of Tav Shinun Ches. There were already Israelis there, and they went to the embassy. And there was-- Maybe they gave them matzahs, maybe, but that was it, you know. So the- these guys wrote a letter to the Rebbe, and they wrote a letter telling the Rebbe that a lot of Israelis are in Kathmandu, and maybe it's a good idea to send shluchim. That letter, the Rebbe forwarded it to Rabbi Castel from, from Tzach in New York. And, and, and the next year, his son, Mendy, who is basically the source for the story, this is who I heard it from, Rabbi Mendy Castel. So he called his father, and he told him that they were thinking to go somewhere for Pesach to do... Because the reason also for that is, just another nekuda, that the... There was a yichidus of the Rebbe with the chief rabbis of Israel in Mem-Memval, I think this was, where the Rebbe suggested that they should arrange public Seders for all the, uh, people who come from Russia. And, uh, so there the Rebbe pushes for public Seders. It took a few years, and the bochurim picked it up. And, uh, he talked to his father, and his father told him, "You know, by Hashgocha Protis, the Rebbe forwarded to me this

1:49:41 Speaker 1 letter about Kathmandu." So then they arranged this first Seder in Kathmandu. This is how they got the idea. Then the next year-

1:49:48 Speaker 7 From Australia.

1:49:49 Speaker 1 From Australia. So then that was Tav Shinun Ches. And then the next year, Merkos was arranging it, and we were sent from New York. Now, how is this relating to, um, to what I'm about to say is that that sicha, Vayikra Tav Shinun. So that Motzaei Shabbos is we had, uh, s- we were scheduled, we did fly to Nepal that Motzaei Shabbos. Now, the sicha really is in response to, like you said, from this rabbi, what he said in Eretz Yisrael, which is he was berating the, the non-religious Jews. And the Rebbe was speaking, this was very passionate sicha, and also I remember, like I told you before, I remember, "Ve'ata yochal at hiloi." So here I remember when the Rebbe said, "Yeder Yid vos geit hent afn velt iz a ud mutzal me-esh." That's such a shout the Rebbe gave him, "Ud mutzal me-esh." And the Rebbe says over there that, uh, that the, every Jew today is a, is a aid, is a, is a testimony that there is a HaKadosh Baruch Hu in the world, even if that Jew doesn't do any mitzvah. And so how could, how could, uh, that guy or anybody speak against Yidden? Bechol. How could they have the chutzpah? And the Rebbe, the Rebbe brought many, many mekoires over there, you know. And he says, um, "Am zu yotzarti li." That's the haftara.

1:51:18 Speaker 7 Yeah, that's what-

1:51:21 Speaker 1 "Am zu yotzarti li tihi losi es apero." So the Rebbe said, "Am zu yotzarti li," as a Yid, is there. Yotzarti li. As a, as a gate Harum, he does, uh, he does shin tihi losi es apero.

1:51:31 Speaker 7 He was secreted.

1:51:32 Speaker 1 Yeah. He does already the tefila from the Meir Sheneer, even if he doesn't know any mitzvah. So really, the Rebbe responded then to what he said in Israel. Um, and then, and then, and then after, after the sicha, the Rebbe got up to dance. And the nigun was, "Ah, ya, ya, ya," and the Rebbe got up, and it was an amazing dance. And I remember when, when the Rebbe got up to dance, I was thinking right away, somehow, I don't know, but just, just what I was thinking that, that the dance is for us. You know, everybody thinks about themselves, right? The dance is for us because we're going on an amazing shlichus. I mean, it was crazy. I mean- Nowadays, we have Chabad houses all over and this and that, but back then, the only Chabad house in the Far East was in Hong Kong, Rabbi Avtzon, who was already there, Motza Avtzon. But, uh, you know, in Hong Kong, they don't have Israeli backpackers. So it wasn't really-- I mean, it's in the Southeast Asia, but it's not the same category. We were going, there was no Chabad House in Thailand or in India or anywhere, you know. And we were bochurim too, which is, you know... I don't know if we want to get into it right now, but, you know, I'm fifty-six years old today. I'm thinking about it, you know, with two, three bochurim, twenty years old, we're sent for like two and a half weeks to Kathmandu. I mean,

1:52:55 Speaker 1 we, we were there. We did it, you know. It was amazing. So we-

1:52:59 Speaker 7 There's a, there's a documentary about it. I, I watched as a kid.

1:53:03 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's movies, there's different things, you know. There's, um, you know, that I have here.

1:53:08 Speaker 7 It ends off with your wedding.

1:53:10 Speaker 1 Oh, right. That's right. Listen, I'll show you something. Let me show you something here. I have, uh, this picture album, okay? And I'll just show you like, uh, whatever. I mean, I'm not gonna start showing you the pictures, but it's a picture album of, uh, you know, the first seder we did in Nepal. You know, it looks like this, something like that. Why am I showing it to you? Tell an amazing story, and then we'll get back to, to the beginning of the story. But we came back from Nepal, and we made this album for the Rebbe with Adukh. And got an answer from the Rebbe, the following words, "Lehachziro album ubetach yenatzlu le'asias magbiyois vechayoitse beze azkar al hatzion." So we were three bochurim. So I ran to Rabbi Kotlarsky and I told him, "Listen, the Rebbe gave a bracha for, uh, magbiyois with this album." He told me, uh-

1:54:14 Speaker 7 So Rebbe, so Rebbe says to you, "Go to fundraise with this album."

1:54:18 Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what he said. And so I ge-- I wanted to give it to Rabbi Kotlarsky, who told me, "What are you talking about? You, you guys worked with the Rebbe. It's, uh, it's your answer. It's not my answer." So, and because from the three bochurim, I, I didn't even make the album. Chaim Bochalevsky worked on this way more than me. But the reason I-- it's my possession-- it's in my possession is because I kept going. I went to Kathmandu for seven years, seven different years. And so it's in my, um, possession right here, and I got a, a bracha from the Rebbe for fundraising. I'm not, I'm not really a fundraiser, you know. But through the years, you know, the bracha, uh, definitely came into, uh... There's more to do. There's definitely more to do, but I could say that I had some, uh, fundraising miracles happen to me, and I attribute it to, to the Rebbe's bracha, obviously. But, um, back to the farbrengen. When the farbrengen happened, I didn't think that the sicha was relating to us particularly. I was thinking more about the dance. You know, the Rebbe got up to dance. We were so excited that we're gonna run shlichas for the Rebbe to such a place as Kathmandu. But years later, maybe I think twenty years after, I was learning the sicha. I was then a shliach in Eugene, and I was just reading the sicha, and all of a sudden it hit me that the whole sicha, in

1:55:39 Speaker 1 addition to being a counter to whatever the rabbi said in Israel, but in that sicha, the Rebbe really explains why he's sending us to Eugene, w-why he's sending us to Kathmandu. Because, you know, a lot of people back then, we met people at the airport, and we told people we're going, "The Rebbe send us to Kathmandu." They're like, "Why? Why does the Rebbe care that Israelis are travelers in, in, in the Far East?" I mean, think about it. It's not like today. Back then in nineteen ninety, whoever was in Kathmandu for Pesach, Israeli or, or, or, or Jewish, he wasn't planning to make a seder. That was not part of their plan because they were in the Himalayas for Pesach. It's not like today, you know. So we arrived there, and all those people-

1:56:26 Speaker 7 It's not like today that, it's not like today that it's part of their-- it could be part of their itinerary.

1:56:30 Speaker 1 Right. But today it's like you, you find out where, where could you stay next to Chabad House. You know, you already know that you're going, so therefore a lot of people are traditional. They feel they could travel, and then they could go to the seder, uh, with Chabad, you know. But back then, if you're there, you're, you're not keeping Pesach, basically. Um, but everybody did come to our seder. I mean, I don't think there was anybody there who heard about it who didn't come. So that wa-- that was definitely an amazing, amazing event. But I'm saying in that sicha when the Rebbe says, um, you know, "Ham zu yotzarti l'ti los sapero", who is he talking about? He's talking about those guys in Nepal, those Israelis, that even though they're in Nepal, but he los sapero, you know. So, so it took me years to think in my own mind that the sicha, in addition to being whatever the Rebbe said about what's going on in Israel, it was also a very, um, major, uh, explanation of why is it that the Rebbe sends shluchim to run after those Israelis, you know. So the-- in that sicha, the Rebbe lays this yesod that-- And that, and that's something I, I, I say this to a lot of people. And even today, you know, in Israel, we have all these politics, and it's quite ugly, you know, the, the lefties and the righties, and it's getting not so pretty. But you know something amazing? Anybody from

1:57:51 Speaker 1 those, uh, so-called extreme lefties, try to tell them that they are not Jewish. You know they're gonna jump on you, and they're gonna say, "I'm not Jewish? I'm more Jewish than you are." You know, that's, that's how people-- In other words, they could argue with you about, uh, Tel Aviv and Shabbos and Chabad and this and that. But Jewish? Of course, we are Jewish. And really, the Rebbe says in that sicha That a Yid who goes around the world today, even if not doing any mitzvah, but the fact that he's a Yid, you know? And this is not only relating to Israelis. I mean, also on, on campus and in America and anywhere, you meet a Yid. "Are you Jewish?" "Yes." Once he tells you yes, we, we take it, uh, for granted, you know? But saying, "I'm Jewish," is already a connection according to that sicha, you know? So you're, you're basically a aid of HaKadosh Baruch Hu from welt. It's an amazing thing. So yeah. So that sicha definitely is, uh, remembered in the, in the dance afterwards. And then at the Se- at the Seder in Nepal, I told everybody that before we left, we danced with the Rebbe, and I told everybody-- we, we told everybody the nigun, uh, yeah, yeah. And everybody was... You know, that was definitely a big part of it. Um, the, the, the war, the, the Gulf War, by the way, um, you know that there was, um... I was, I was, after that, I was

1:59:15 Speaker 1 a little bit shlichus in San Francisco. And, you know, in the Gulf War, at some point, there was a, Rabbi Goldstein went by the Rebbe, and he asked the Rebbe if he should take a megillah. And the Rebbe told him something like, "By then, you don't, you're not, you're not gonna need it."

1:59:29 Speaker 7 Take it with you.

1:59:29 Speaker 1 Right. He was going to Iraq, and the Rebbe said, uh, you know, something, "By then, you're not gonna need it."

1:59:35 Speaker 7 Mm-hmm.

1:59:35 Speaker 1 Epes azoy, right? So from that, there became some rumor that the Rebbe said that the war is gonna be over on Purim, and amazingly, it was, you know? So I remember, I was in Se-

1:59:48 Speaker 7 On Purim itself. Purim came in Au-

1:59:51 Speaker 1 Purim.

1:59:51 Speaker 7 Yeah.

1:59:51 Speaker 1 Yeah. I re- I remember it. I was in San Francisco in the middle of Purim, you know? They, they said, "Oh, the war is over. The president is gonna speak soon. The war is over." It was unbelievable, you know?

2:00:03 Speaker 7 Mm-hmm.

2:00:03 Speaker 1 Yeah. The Gulf War was definitely-

2:00:04 Speaker 7 One second. So like Nun Alef.

2:00:09 Speaker 1 Yeah.

2:00:11 Speaker 7 Yeah, go ahead.

2:00:12 Speaker 1 No, I just wanted to add one more thing, that I think the Gulf War is like, um, a turning point in Eretz Yisrael for sure. You know, when the Rebbe back then spoke about Eretz Yisrael being the safest place in the world, and, uh, this was definitely... It's a little bit similar to what happened in the Six-Day War because in Six-Day War, you know, there was crazy fear in Eretz Yisrael, and the Rebbe in that famous Lag BaOmer sicha speaking about Eretz Yisrael was very positive there's gonna be miracles. In a, in a similar fashion, a little bit different, you know, in Israel, the-- I wasn't in Israel, but my family was, and everybody knows there was a huge, uh, scale of chemical weapons, and they gave gas masks to everybody, and they taped their windows. There was like a whole procedure going on. Meanwhile, the Rebbe is saying Israel is the safest place in the world, and, and, and, and we know that the war, um, had a lot of miracles. By the way, not to veer off, I'm just gonna mention this, that I, I thought a lot about it during the, the last war we had right here in Israel, and, you know, I'm talking to you from Tzfas, and the, the war with Hezbollah, we had sirens every day over here, you know? And, and a lot of people were scared. Obviously, a war is not a fun, uh, time. But for us, chassidim of the Rebbe, remembering how the Rebbe

2:01:26 Speaker 1 said Israel is the safest place and remember the Gulf War, it gave us a huge chizuk, you know, to, to know, oh, the, everything is gonna be okay. The Rebbe's words are, you know, still there, and, uh, Eretz Yisrael is still Eretz Yisrael. Baruch Hashem, you know? And we, we saw amazing things.

2:01:45 Speaker 7 Yeah, right after October 7th, um, obviously on the Bavish, but even beyond, in the Frum world in general, and maybe beyond that, uh, also, a lot of videos of the Rebbe were going around because people want to know they should pull their kids from out of Yeshi-- October 7th, people wanna know if they take their kids home from yeshiva or not send them. A lot of the Rebbe's videos were going around, chas v'Shalom, you know, sh- you have to go to Eretz Yisrael, and you have to, chas v'Shalom, but to bring your, your, your, your children back, and I think that was mechazek a lot of people way beyond the Bavish, uh, those, those, those same videos from, from the Gulf War of 57 Nun Alef.

2:02:23 Speaker 1 Right. Absolutely.

2:02:25 Speaker 7 Um, so yeah. So Nun Alef and then Beis, you're not in 770.

2:02:31 Speaker 1 Well, I was, uh, in and out, okay? So Tishrei, uh, parts of Tishrei, you know, and Beis for sure, I was there for Tishrei, and, uh, Nun Alef. Excuse me. You know, I was there, um, um, for Chof Ches Nissan, I was there. Nun Alef, I was zoche to be there, you know? And yeah, I was there in and out. So some farbrengens, the huge vad, I was there. Depends, uh, depends what it is. I would spend a lot of time in, uh, Vancouver, British Columbia. I went on shlichus over there by Rabbi Itzie Weinberg. And, uh, and then in San Francisco. I was spending, uh, in San Francisco by Rabbi Langer, Chabad of San Francisco. But, but yeah, I, I was, uh, depending what the event is, I was there.

2:03:25 Speaker 7 Okay. So you mentioned Chof Ches Nissan. So maybe you want to describe a little bit, I mean, Nun Alef, Beis, the whole, um, Koch and the way the Rebbe was speaking about Mashiach. Um, what do you want to say about that?

2:03:43 Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah. There was-- There's definitely, um, you know, things definitely changed in-- I, I can't tell you the, the exact point of where the change took place, but definitely we all know Nun Alef and Beis, um, were different than the earlier years. In, in, in that, the Rebbe spoke mostly about Mashiach, you know? Even, even certain farbrengens even started, uh, "Azoy vi makn fin tsukh in ikris di Mashiakh." You know, it's like the farbrengen never started like that. You know, farbrengen would always be like-

2:04:23 Speaker 7 The Rebbe, the Rebbe would start farbrengens in the Beis. We have to start off with

2:04:26 Speaker 1 Yeah.

2:04:26 Speaker 7 Im yirtzeh Hashem ba'gemara.

2:04:28 Speaker 1 Yeah.

2:04:28 Speaker 7 B'ezrat Hashem it came.

2:04:29 Speaker 1 B'ezrat Hashem it came. Right. I mean, so it's like the Mashiach, uh, ecstasy, if you wanna call it that, was very, very strong. Um, it definitely felt, um, as if it's, um, as we say it, uh, any moment now, you know? Also, also, it was in the media, you know? It wasn't just in 770. Like I told you, I was in San Francisco back then, and, and this was a- all over the media. I mean, there were articles about it, uh, that the Rebbe says that Mashiach is coming. Shluchim were speaking on the media about it. I remember even in San Francisco, Rabbi Langer. I mean, this was like a big theme, and it definitely felt like it, uh, it's any moment now. I mean, Chof Ches Nissan was a big shock, obviously. I remember, I remember this very well. I remember, I remember like when the Rebbe speaking and, uh, I mean, the sicha is recorded. It's not a very long sicha. Anybody could-- I mean, every year, I guess everybody watches it, so people know the sicha. But if you, if you watch it or listen to it from the beginning, not just from the moments when it gets really intense, but, you know, it's the sicha starts like any other sicha. It doesn't-- You don't feel in the beginning everybody was standing in seven seventy, you know, listening to the Rebbe talking zach and listening to the Rebbe. They're thinking it's like another, uh, Tuesday or whatever it was. But then, you

2:05:53 Speaker 1 know, just the tone change and, you know, the Rebbe says b- behemest things that are, uh, were very hard to hear. You know, I hope Al Tz'dkon and, uh, you know, what else can I do? You know, things like that. And, um-

2:06:07 Speaker 8 Everything I've done till now is Lehavel Vlo Rig.

2:06:10 Speaker 1 Lehavel Vlo Rig, right. I mean, that was terrible to hear those words. I mean, that was like not, uh, easy to swallow, you know? And, um, yeah, and it definitely also created, you know, in seven seventy, people farbrengen all night, and what should we do? And the whole, uh, you know, the whole Moshiach, uh, situation basically developed from there. I don't know. Listen, it's, uh, it's, um... We, we definitely, um, I would say from today's perspective, there's no question that in the Rebbe's sichas, in the Rebbe's view, w-we gotta be on, you know, any moment now. This is it. There's no other, uh, there's no other thing to think about. Now, I-- There was already like, I don't know, thirty-five years, whatever, how many years it is. Okay. So, uh, i-it, there's no answer for it. In other words, I, I don't, I don't feel... I don't know what to say about it. I know I told you the Rebbe wrote me a letter personally. "Va'anu ein lanu, ein lanu sidureinu." That's it. You know, the Rebbe is AdRab. If, if thirty years ago, the Rebbe said, uh, Moshiach is, uh, you know, imminent, then how much more imminent is it right now? And the thing is, I gotta say, for those who, you know, it's not easy to, to accept maybe, uh, what I'm saying or to everybody at any moment, but the reality is that the world around us is supporting that because we see, I mean, at least I see it in

2:07:42 Speaker 1 Eretz Yisrael. You know, thirty years ago when you told people that the Rebbe is saying Moshiach is coming any minute, uh, I don't recall everybody being agreeable to it. I actually recall people not-- I'm talking about, uh, you know, not unzere. I'm talking about the world, you know, Yidden, and people were like, um, wondering what that means. Well, today, you know, in Eretz Yisrael for sure, most people you talk to and they told you, "Listen, Moshiach has to come. There's no other solution. Moshiach has to come." So, so we see that the message is, um, any moment that go, that any day that goes by, that question that the Rebbe asked back then, uh, "Vi kumtes bechalal as, as galus is still here?" That question just became stronger. So the message is more relevant. I have a question, um, how could it be that thirty years went by and, uh... Okay. It's a good question. I'm not, I'm not, uh, I also have the, the same question. But the question doesn't, uh, make me, uh, change my mind about it. It just makes me think even stronger that it must be that, uh, you know, that Moshiach is coming. But, uh, there's definitely, you know, there's definitely the, the-- In those years, the, the-- to go, excuse me, to go from Nun Alef, Nun Beis to switch to Chof Zain Adar and then to Gimmel Tammuz, obviously, that was, uh, a pretty complicated, uh, time, you know? I mean, it still is, but back then

2:09:15 Speaker 1 it was felt even stronger. So, you know, every generation has, uh, its challenges, I guess. On the other hand, I mean, the Rebbe also, like I said before, the Rebbe did say the sicha of, uh, Bonach Sh'chashbono Sh'lo Elom. The Rebbe did say the sicha of Chof Ches Nissan. I mean, whether we like it or not, he did say it. So, um, you know, here we are. You know, I think, I think the, the, the kunt is that here we are, and even though we have a lot of questions, and even though we have, uh, situations we are not so thrilled about, we see that the Rebbe's message gets stronger and chassidim are here, and here we are sitting and talking about the Rebbe. I mean, the Rebbe is definitely stronger, so.

2:10:01 Speaker 8 So you have, you have less questions now than you did the day after Chof Zain Adar Gimmel Tammuz?

2:10:10 Speaker 1 Um, I think so. Yeah. I think-- I, I don't know, I don't know if less questions is the words I would choose to describe the difference between how I feel now and back then, but I would definitely say, and, and I, and I'm saying also openly, and I told you before, I, I don't come from Lubavitch. So definitely after Gimmel Tammuz, I felt it. I felt it already after Chof Zain Adar, you know, that people who had like a sup-- a family support system or something more personal, they had their approach, you know. I, I didn't have any-- I didn't put any money on the stocks of Lubavitch. You know what I'm saying? I came from the outside, and I came for the Rebbe. I didn't care about the Crown Heights or Mishpachas or this, that. I don't wanna say names, but you know what I'm saying. Like, I wasn't part of it. Still not part of it. The Rebbe, I came for the Rebbe So if the Rebbe is gone or seems to be gone or whatever I wanna call it, then, uh, okay, gotta go. I'm not interested, you know? So that's how I felt back then. I felt like, you know... I, I'll, I'll say honestly, if I wouldn't dream that Chabad Lubavitch would be so strong so many years after Gimmel Tammuz. You ask me that Gimmel Tammuz, I w- I wouldn't, uh, I wouldn't put, uh, my money on it. Really. I, I thought it's, uh... So yes, for sure,

2:11:41 Speaker 1 s- in, in real time back then, I was way more, uh, disoriented and depressed and all, whatever you wanna call it. Now, so many years went by. Yeah, so the time, the time part of it, like I said before, I don't have a explanation. I don't know. I don't... The time we're in, I have a big question mark. How is it possible that the world is there-

2:12:04 Speaker 8 Which that's, that's a lesson, that's a lesson that the Rebbe used many, many times, that there is no explanation why Moshiach did not yet come.

2:12:12 Speaker 1 Exactly. Exactly.

2:12:13 Speaker 8 In those sichas, in Af Na Vaes, the Rebbe would say that all the time.

2:12:16 Speaker 1 Exactly.

2:12:16 Speaker 8 Right.

2:12:16 Speaker 1 So if, if the Rebbe said it back then, what are we doing in the Peivov? We come to this as, "Mehelf Mishnam Rabbin, Mishich is not..." I don't know. I have no idea how to explain such a thing. It doesn't make any sense to me. But what I could say is that I, and I do see that since then, contrary to my own personal assessment, you know, not to mention other people, the Rebbe-

2:12:41 Speaker 8 Yeah. You, you... I would say you and, and o- and others .

2:12:45 Speaker 1 Yeah. Listen, uh, you know, but the Rebbe is so much stronger. So many more people, in my own family even, you know. I told you I had, uh, with my parents and everything. My mother told me a while ago, I was with, with my mother. She's telling me, I... BeMad, I couldn't believe she's telling me. She said, "You know what? Alevai all my kids should be Chabadnikim, not just you." Talking about my brothers, whom she love, you know. But my mother calls me, she said, "You know, I saw an amazing Gem movie today. I wanna share it with you." And, and my mother was so angry that I went to Chabad. You have no idea. I, I'm not gonna get into it now, and, and she probably wouldn't want me to talk about it, but I'm telling you, that's what it was. So I see it with my personal family. I see it with people around. People, you know, in shul. I go to shul. People who are not Chabad, I tell them, "You know, the Rebbe, the Rebbe saw it all. The Rebbe saw right. What would the Rebbe say? What does, what does the Rebbe say?" So when you see that the Rebbe is so much more relevant now than ever before, then, you know, the kashas about Moshiach, uh, we have kashas. But, but l'maaseh, we see that so many people are drawing inspiration and chizuk from the Rebbe's torah, and it's just getting so mu- so much stronger that, that... So

2:13:57 Speaker 1 definitely I'm, I'm less confused, not... I'm still a little bit confused. I won't tell you I'm not, but it's definitely less than how I felt right then, you know? For sure. It's a different world, you know?

2:14:14 Speaker 8 Mm-hmm. Okay. So, uh, I think, uh, we should, uh, do, uh, what the Rebbe wants from us, and, uh, we should actually take care of all the zekes. And, uh, Tishbi, Itar, Tsukish, Vaabis, and it should be Biz Meshech Sakene B'Per Mamish. Won't, won't be any questions.

2:14:38 Speaker 1 Amen. Deichef Amiyan. B'kor Liv Mamish.

2:14:43 Speaker 8 Okay. Yashekech, Reb Assi.

2:14:46 Speaker 1 Okay.

2:14:46 Speaker 8 Very gut shnack. And, um, you should have a lot of hatzlach in all of the shlichas that you do in Eretz Israel and beyond.

2:14:55 Speaker 1 Amen. Thank you very much, and hatzlach Rabbin Yoni Yoni. Thank you.