Episode 47: From Ashdod to Ashkelon at five in the morning | With Sari Tzalniker, fitness trainer, medical masseuse, and motivator of women to action

00:01 Speaker 1 She gets up every day at five in the morning, and by the time the children wake up, she’s already been for a run, done a workout, and sometimes even has a few pots on the stove. I sat down for a conversation with Shari Tselniker, whose shlichus is inspiring thousands of women to lead a healthy, active lifestyle, while paying special attention to women’s needs and raising awareness of postpartum conditions. It’s knowledge every woman owes it to herself to have. When, and with whom, did she run from Ashdod to Ashkelon? What does she do once a week in Jerusalem, and how does she influence and raise awareness among thousands of women across the country and around the world? Come listen and gain tools and knowledge. A reminder: if you enjoyed the podcast, you’re welcome to share it with anyone you care about. My shlichus is to record it; your shlichus is to pass it on. To watch the content, send me a message at 0508-505-770. An intro, and then we’ll get started right away. How do we turn our lives into lives of shlichus, full of meaning? This is Chani Moskowitz. I was born in Kharkiv, Ukraine, and now I’m continuing the shlichus in Karmei Gat, Israel. On this podcast, we’ll meet different women who will share their shlichus in a variety of fields, and through them, help each of us find and refine our own shlichus in the world. Because living the lives we were created to live is the best there is. Shlichus as a Way of Life. We’re starting right now. Welcome to the Shlichus as a Way of Life podcast, to a new episode with Shari Tselniker.

01:33 Speaker 2 That’s right.

01:33 Speaker 1 Wow, I practiced your last name backstage, and it still didn’t...

01:37 Speaker 2 Yeah.

01:38 Speaker 1 It didn’t work.

01:39 Speaker 2 People get tangled up in it. Honestly, people often think I’m Indian because of the “-ker” ending.

01:43 Speaker 1 Wow, right, right.

01:44 Speaker 2 People ask me all the time, when I take the kids to the well-baby clinic, “So, are you Indian?” No, no, no.

01:48 Speaker 1 You don’t look Indian, but maybe your husband is.

01:50 Speaker 2 Neither I nor my husband is Indian. He’s Polish. I think that’s about as far as you can get from—

01:54 Speaker 1 That’s funny.

01:54 Speaker 2 —Indian.

01:55 Speaker 1 Maybe there’s some past-life connection. Okay.

01:56 Speaker 2 Maybe. Hi, Chani.

01:58 Speaker 1 How are you?

01:58 Speaker 2 Baruch Hashem, great! And it’s so beautiful here. It’s a shame you can’t see it, but first of all, I arrived at this place—

02:03 Speaker 1 They can see a little.

02:04 Speaker 2 Yes, whatever you can manage to see on the status. But the place is gorgeous. I came here to see the wonderful Chani, and we’ve been talking for ages about—

02:14 Speaker 1 Yes, trying to schedule it, schedule it, schedule it. I’ll tell you, this isn’t the longest it’s taken me.

02:18 Speaker 2 Really? There’s someone who’s taken longer?

02:19 Speaker 1 There’s someone I’ve been trying to schedule for two years now...

02:21 Speaker 2 Oh. So you’re taking this one in stride.

02:24 Speaker 1 Yes. How are you?

02:25 Speaker 2 Baruch Hashem, excellent.

02:27 Speaker 1 What time did you get up this morning?

02:28 Speaker 2 Well, actually, I got up at five. And today’s Thursday.

02:35 Speaker 1 Right.

02:35 Speaker 2 So Thursday is a day with a lot going on for me, baruch Hashem. I usually get up around five and set the Shabbos table. Thursday has been my day for setting the Shabbos table for years now.

02:47 Speaker 1 You set the Shabbos table in the morning?

02:48 Speaker 2 In the morning. As soon as I get up and get myself ready, I set the Shabbos table.

02:51 Speaker 1 I have to ask: don’t the plates get dusty?

02:53 Speaker 2 Do you know how many times I’ve been asked that?

02:56 Speaker 1 What’s the answer?

02:57 Speaker 2 The answer is no.

02:58 Speaker 1 Okay.

02:59 Speaker 2 My plates aren’t dusty. If you’re invited to eat at my house on Shabbos, don’t be afraid to eat off the plate.

03:05 Speaker 1 All right, [unclear].

03:06 Speaker 2 Anyway, yes, Thursday is a day of getting ready for Shabbos. When I set the Shabbos table, even if the house isn’t ready for Shabbos—if it isn’t clean or tidy—just having the table set opens my heart and creates a Shabbos atmosphere. It’s nice to start preparing for Shabbos on Thursday. After all, we wait for Shabbos all week, so we might as well get to see it on Thursday.

03:32 Speaker 1 Wow, absolutely. I came in thinking, “That’s it, I’m adopting this,” and then I thought, “There’s no way I can do it.”

03:38 Speaker 2 No, don’t say that. First of all, never say there’s no way.

03:40 Speaker 1 Okay, we’ll start by setting it on Friday morning, and then...

03:43 Speaker 2 Start with that.

03:45 Speaker 1 Wow.

03:45 Speaker 2 Step by step.

03:46 Speaker 1 There really is something special about getting into the Shabbos atmosphere already...

03:50 Speaker 2 Early.

03:51 Speaker 1 And where do you eat dinner on Thursday?

03:53 Speaker 2 We eat in the living room—I mean, in the kitchen.

03:55 Speaker 1 Oh.

03:55 Speaker 2 I have a kitchen table, and that’s where we eat our regular meals. The living-room table is ready for Shabbos, and somehow the Shabbos atmosphere spreads through the house. That’s it.

04:06 Speaker 1 Beautiful.

04:06 Speaker 2 Then sometimes I make challah, and sometimes, you know, I cook or bake whatever’s needed before the kids get up. A lot of mornings I have a fitness session on Zoom, either at six or at five, depending on the group. Okay, we’ll talk about all of that in a moment—

04:21 Speaker 1 Yes.

04:22 Speaker 2 We jumped straight into it.

04:24 Speaker 1 So by the time the kids get up in the morning, you’ve already finished a workday.

04:26 Speaker 2 Actually, I’ve started a workday, because I still have a busy day ahead of me. But yes, I’ve already done a lot. Let’s say I could already wish people a good afternoon.

04:34 Speaker 1 Yes. Tell me, I have an interesting question.

04:36 Speaker 2 Yes.

04:36 Speaker 1 What time do you go to sleep?

04:38 Speaker 2 Honestly, I don’t go to sleep early, even though I’m always telling everyone in my club to do that. I’ll be honest with you: I personally don’t get to bed early. I just don’t manage it, and my body is full of adrenaline at night. But I do recommend that everyone listening to this podcast go to sleep early so they can get up early.

04:58 Speaker 1 Why am I asking? Because getting up early really is wonderful—it’s the dream, as they say. But whenever I want to do it, I remember I’m such a night person. I did all the hardest work for my degree and everything—

05:11 Speaker 2 Wow.

05:11 Speaker 1 —at four in the morning.

05:13 Speaker 2 Wow.

05:14 Speaker 1 My mind is working, and just as you described, there’s that adrenaline, like you’re on...

05:19 Speaker 2 It kicks in for you at night.

05:20 Speaker 1 Exactly.

05:21 Speaker 2 What happens in the morning?

05:23 Speaker 1 Well, I get up as late as I possibly can, just so I can sleep.

05:27 Speaker 2 Yes, because you need those hours of sleep.

05:28 Speaker 1 I can get into bed at eleven and not fall asleep until two, because my mind is going da-da-da-da-da-da-da, thinking about things. Not always.

05:35 Speaker 2 Yes.

05:36 Speaker 1 But if you want to develop a routine of getting up early and stay healthy by getting enough sleep, when do you go to bed?

05:44 Speaker 2 Honestly, you need to start getting ready for bed around ten.

05:47 Speaker 1 That’s it.

05:47 Speaker 2 And get into bed so your body really has enough hours of sleep. And look, morning hours are good for everything. You know, the Rambam wrote about it too, and it’s in our sources as well—the sunrise prayer and so on, and going to sleep early. There’s something about the morning hours.

06:10 Speaker 1 So how do you manage without...

06:12 Speaker 2 How do I manage what, through the day?

06:13 Speaker 1 Much sleep.

06:14 Speaker 2 Well, it depends on the person. I’ve always been very energetic, and I’ve never needed many hours of sleep. I get my sleep on Shabbos, so somehow I catch up for the whole week. So getting up early isn’t a problem for me. I’m the type who doesn’t need much sleep, but if I feel really tired, I can catch a nap during the day.

06:40 Speaker 1 Oh, really?

06:41 Speaker 2 Yes, I’d say so. But I like my day to be packed and full of activity—positive activity. To influence more people and do good for them. I think that’s really the guiding idea: to do as much good as possible for others. And when you do good for others, in some way it comes back to you too. But that’s not why I put it first—not because I want it to benefit me. It’s just that when a person gives of themselves to others, they’re the first to gain.

07:15 Speaker 1 How did you come to realize that this is the good you have to give the world?

07:19 Speaker 2 Hmm.

07:19 Speaker 1 How did you get into this field?

07:21 Speaker 2 How did I get into this field? Honestly, from a very young age—even as a teenager—I was involved in dance and gymnastics. I always loved it. I even started teaching it while I was in seminary, running classes at various schools and things like that. Then, when I got married, I simply went into this field. I also studied gymnastics in seminary; that’s really where I started. And from there I gradually developed. I started with classes, and I was even a sports teacher at an elementary school and a high school. Over time, I developed and grew. I opened a studio. I live in Ashdod, by the way, for anyone who doesn’t know. So I opened a studio there. I think I was really among the first to start this. Nineteen years ago, there wasn’t—

08:11 Speaker 1 Nineteen years ago? How old are you?

08:14 Speaker 2 I’ll be thirty-nine soon.

08:15 Speaker 1 Wow, you don’t look it.

08:17 Speaker 2 Thank you.

08:17 Speaker 1 I had to say it.

08:18 Speaker 2 Maybe it’s the fitness, you know.

08:21 Speaker 1 Definitely. Listen, do you know why it’s important to me to talk about health, and why I’m so committed to it? I don’t know if you know this, but my own background includes being overweight. At fourteen, I reached a hundred—a hundred kilos.

08:36 Speaker 2 Wow.

08:37 Speaker 1 And then I lost a significant amount of weight—forty kilos in a year—and I’ve kept it off ever since. But not in a straight line, you know.

08:45 Speaker 2 Right.

08:46 Speaker 1 It took me time to find my way, so to speak. And now I also run a health program for women that connects to Chassidus. Tools from Tanya—you probably know what I mean, because it’s—

09:01 Speaker 2 Yes, of course. We’ll get to that.

09:02 Speaker 1 There’s something I used to think, and I still see so many women thinking it, that I feel is important to talk about. Health is seen as a privilege. Do you know what I mean?

09:17 Speaker 2 What do you mean? Explain.

09:18 Speaker 1 I mean, say I’m just an ordinary person, and my default is to eat whatever I feel like and not focus on my health. Then there are those women who are into it.

09:31 Speaker 2 Right.

09:31 Speaker 1 Who look after their health and make sure they exercise.

09:33 Speaker 2 Who care about themselves.

09:34 Speaker 1 Exactly. They care about what they put in their mouths.

09:36 Speaker 2 Right.

09:36 Speaker 1 And I say, no, ladies, this is a must.

09:41 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

09:42 Speaker 1 It’s an obligation. It’s not something where, fine, one day I’ll get myself together, one day—no. It’s our duty—

09:48 Speaker 2 To take care of ourselves.

09:49 Speaker 1 Yes. First of all, from a Jewish perspective, Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave us a body and said, “You shall guard yourselves,” and we need to look after our bodies. And second, so that we can truly bring our best selves into the world. Look how much energy you have. Granted, some of that is your personality, and—

10:03 Speaker 2 Yes, it’s my personality, but—

10:04 Speaker 1 Still, the fact that you look after your health makes you a vessel better able to bring what you have into the world.

10:11 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

10:11 Speaker 1 To do it better, to fulfill your shlichus.

10:14 Speaker 2 Right. First of all, I’m looking at you, and I’d never guess you used to weigh—how much did you say?

10:19 Speaker 1 Over.

10:19 Speaker 2 Really.

10:20 Speaker 1 Yes, over.

10:20 Speaker 2 Wow. So how many years has it been like this?

10:23 Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Since I was fifteen—thirty... almost seventeen years, yes.

10:26 Speaker 2 Wow, hats off to you. Well done.

10:27 Speaker 1 Yes, it takes work.

10:29 Speaker 2 Daily work, every day.

10:30 Speaker 1 It is work. But you can get to a place where you enjoy it and understand that it isn’t a sacrifice. It isn’t backbreaking labor. It takes mental work, but it’s a privilege.

10:45 Speaker 2 So that’s what you teach in your support groups, I imagine, right?

10:49 Speaker 1 It’s not really a support group; it’s actually a one-on-one process. But yes, the idea is that Tanya teaches us to connect everything we do to the purpose for which we came down into this world. We need to do things from a place of inner connection and understand why we’re doing them.

11:04 Speaker 2 Right. I connect so strongly with what you’re saying, because, as you know, I’ve been studying Tanya for almost two years now.

11:12 Speaker 1 Wow.

11:13 Speaker 2 Yes, every week. And this is also the place to mention and praise Chani Friedman. For anyone who doesn’t know her yet, she’s an amazing woman.

11:22 Speaker 1 Chani from episode fifteen.

11:23 Speaker 2 Right, she was a guest on your podcast too. I think that was when you were still in Russia, wasn’t it?

11:28 Speaker 1 No, no, no. That was in Kiryat Malachi. Yes.

11:30 Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So go listen to episode fifteen. Chani is a friend who also lives in Ashdod. She’s a Chabad shlucha in the City neighborhood of Ashdod and a mother of fourteen children. We met many years ago, and there was a time when I said, “I want something for my soul.” I spend so much time dealing with the body, and that’s important and wonderful and does me good and everything. But what about the soul? I wanted to give the inside, the spirit, some nourishment too. So I approached Chani and said, “Chani, what do you think? Maybe we could study Tanya together?” And she immediately said, “Of course, with pleasure. I’m ready today.” So we simply set a time. Then another friend joined me, and now there are three of us together.

12:18 Speaker 1 So it’s a real little boutique class.

12:20 Speaker 2 A boutique class. Me, Hadas, and Chani. We’re... we’re not adding anyone else. It’s also our time together as friends. We meet toward the end of the week, sit down over coffee, talk, and then just study. Chani teaches everything so pleasantly and clearly, and gives so much of herself. So we really don’t miss a class, apart from rare occasions. For example, Chani has now flown to the United States with a group to visit the Rebbe. Things like that, when there’s no choice. Otherwise, we’re very, very careful to keep it up. And I feel it really has changed my life.

13:03 Speaker 1 Wow.

13:04 Speaker 2 In so many areas. It’s not like you’re studying some book of moral instruction that just tells you what not to do. Not at all. You get tools for life. Really, you learn how to be. I don’t have to tell you—you live it.

13:19 Speaker 1 No, I’m telling the women who are listening.

13:20 Speaker 2 For anyone listening who doesn’t know... Actually, I share it too. I’ll tell you: I have a regular segment where I film Chani for a minute. Each time, it’s a little summary of the lesson.

13:31 Speaker 1 Oh, nice.

13:31 Speaker 2 And I post it to my status every week for my followers.

13:34 Speaker 1 Nice.

13:35 Speaker 2 And I get tons of responses. People—women—just wait for it. It’s become a regular segment, usually on Motzaei Shabbos: a minute of Tanya. And because of it, you’d be surprised, study groups have started in different places around the country. People simply contacted me and said, “Can you tell us who teaches Tanya in Jerusalem? Who teaches Tanya in other places?” So I referred them to Chani, and Chani connected them with shluchos who now give them Tanya classes.

14:04 Speaker 1 Beautiful. Wow.

14:06 Speaker 2 Yes, it’s truly amazing. And really, you see? That’s the whole idea of shlichus. What you do—the whole motto of your podcast is to spread shlichus. So here’s another example: through a status, people discover something and draw inspiration for all sorts of things.

14:25 Speaker 1 Absolutely.

14:26 Speaker 2 And I was saying that it really gives you tools for life, because it teaches you how to be a better person, how to behave better. After all, why did we come into this world? To do good and be the best Jews we can be. So I really want to thank Chani for opening up the—

14:45 Speaker 1 World.

14:45 Speaker 2 World. A whole world, really.

14:47 Speaker 1 Absolutely. Wow. Shari, carry on with your daily schedule. Had we reached eight in the morning? Where were we?

14:52 Speaker 2 We stopped somewhere along the way. Maybe I’ll start from the beginning.

14:59 Speaker 1 Go ahead.

14:59 Speaker 2 From the day I read a book called The 5 AM Club. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.

15:05 Speaker 1 I’ve heard of it. I didn’t read it because I was afraid of what it might—

15:08 Speaker 2 That you’d have to get up at five. So next time I see you, I’ll bring it to you, be’ezras Hashem. I read the book, really enjoyed it, and said, “Wow.” He writes about so many things you can get done in the morning. I wasn’t someone who got up at five. I didn’t get up late, but I didn’t get up at five. I’d get up at, say, seven. I should also mention that I grew up in a home where my mother got up early. My mother got up at five, sometimes even earlier, and I always remember her getting the house in order first and even going for a swim early in the morning. So I had someone to learn that from, let’s put it that way. I grew up with it. But personally, I didn’t see a need to get up that early. After I read the book, I said, “You know what? There’s something to this. Let’s try it.” I followed the rules. He gives a few tips for getting up early. For example, set an alarm clock, and the moment it goes off, get out of bed. Don’t say, “Oh, one more minute, one more second.” No—jump straight up. Another thing: put your clothes next to the bed so you have no excuses. You’re getting up now, and if you’re going out to exercise, for example, have your exercise clothes ready beside the bed. He also divides it into twenty, twenty, twenty. After you get up in the morning, twenty minutes of physical activity; twenty minutes of learning something—listening to a podcast or reading something that adds to your knowledge; and another twenty minutes for setting your goals and planning your day. What am I going to do?

16:43 Speaker 3 So we’re talking about the first hour.

16:45 Speaker 2 Exactly. The first hour after you get up—

16:47 Speaker 3 Right.

16:48 Speaker 2 Which is basically from five to six. So, after I’d tried it for a while—and once you try something, you know, it becomes a habit—even if I try to sleep late now, it’s hard. It doesn’t really work for me anymore. I wake up on my own. I don’t even need an alarm. I do set one, because I also have a commitment. We’ll talk in a minute about what I do for other women during those hours, so I have a commitment and I have to get up early. That helps keep me accountable too. And I saw how much I was getting done. Then I said to myself, I’m already into fitness, health and getting up early. Let’s do something with this for other women too. So I started sharing it on my status. By the way, I have several thousand followers. I started posting that I was getting up early and exercising, and sharing all kinds of tips. And people got excited. They told me, “Wow, you know, I got up early today because of you, and I got so much done.” I received so many messages like that. I said, I have to start a group—which he talks about in the book too. Having a group creates a commitment. It holds me accountable, and it gives something to others too. That’s how I started the first 5 A.M. Club group.

18:06 Speaker 3 A group—you mean a group that meets in person?

18:08 Speaker 2 A WhatsApp group—

18:09 Speaker 3 Oh, okay.

18:09 Speaker 2 That women sign up for.

18:10 Speaker 3 I wasn’t sure if you meant a group in Ashdod—

18:13 Speaker 2 Oh, it’s—

18:13 Speaker 3 Or a virtual one.

18:14 Speaker 2 Yes, there’s one in Ashdod too—

18:15 Speaker 3 Both.

18:16 Speaker 2 There’s a running group, that’s true, also at five in the morning, and that’s virtual. But right now I’m talking about women from all over the country, and even around the world.

18:23 Speaker 3 Wow.

18:23 Speaker 2 Whoever could make it work with the—

18:24 Speaker 3 With the clock.

18:24 Speaker 2 With the hours. With the clock.

18:26 Speaker 3 You see someone join and say, “Yes, I’m with you at five in the morning,” but where she is, it’s seven.

18:30 Speaker 2 Exactly.

18:31 Speaker 3 Showing you all up...

18:32 Speaker 2 Showing off. Anyway, what I did was schedule the Zoom fitness class for five fifteen. So a woman has a commitment—

18:43 Speaker 3 Five fifteen?

18:44 Speaker 2 A Zoom fitness class at five fifteen. So they get up beforehand—at five, or a quarter to five—get ready, get dressed, have something to drink, and start the day with the fitness class on Zoom. It’s half an hour. I divided up the workouts. The group ran for a month, and I split it into abdominal work, pelvic-floor work, thighs—something different each time, so they’d have a reason to get up. When they know there’s a fitness class on Zoom at five fifteen, they’re committed to getting up. After we finished the class, the WhatsApp group was open and everyone shared: “I got this done, I got that done, I did this.” One woman finally managed to daven calmly, something she’d never been able to do in her life.

19:24 Speaker 3 That’s exactly what I wanted to say when you were talking earlier about the twenty-twenty-twenty—

19:27 Speaker 2 Yes.

19:28 Speaker 3 And the twenty minutes for a podcast and all that. I was going to say, wow, that’s a wonderful time to daven.

19:31 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

19:32 Speaker 3 So early in the morning—wow, it really is a dream.

19:34 Speaker 2 It really is. To daven, to say Tehillim, just you on your own. People posted pictures from the different places where they lived—look at these incredible views. And there she is, davening. It’s amazing. One woman told me, “Listen, it’s been years since I’ve had time like this, without children in the background, without rushing to work, without thinking, ‘Oh, I have to get this done.’ No. Now I have time. I can daven, I can get things done, I can bake, I can cook.” The children get up in the morning and their mother has already done half—as we were saying earlier—she’s gotten so much done. She’s happy, she’s energized, she’s exercised. Now she can be there for her children one hundred percent, and sometimes there are fresh rolls in the oven. I have to show you the pictures women sent me in the group of everything they managed to do.

20:19 Speaker 3 Join the group. Maybe it’ll work for you.

20:20 Speaker 2 Believe me, with Hashem’s help. And baruch Hashem, it was a success. I ran about five groups, one after the other.

20:28 Speaker 3 Wow.

20:28 Speaker 2 One right after another. Then women started telling me, “Listen, five in the morning is so early. I try, but I just can’t do it. Maybe you could do it a little later?” So now I’m trying out a new version that I started very recently: six in the morning.

20:46 Speaker 3 I thought we were still at five thirty.

20:49 Speaker 2 We jumped to six.

20:50 Speaker 3 You’re right. Six is early for me too. What do I mean, early? I get up at six thirty, but that half hour makes a difference.

20:55 Speaker 2 Yes. So for you, for example, if you get up at six thirty, try getting up at six. That makes much more sense. It’ll be easier than having to get up at five now, right? Every woman knows her own limits. Look, some women have babies, they’re nursing, and their babies cry at night. That’s okay. It isn’t right for everyone at every stage of life.

21:16 Speaker 3 But I also think that with anything we see other people doing—especially, as you said, when a status or a story is a way to show something and inspire people—

21:26 Speaker 2 Right.

21:27 Speaker 3 As women watching that content, it’s very, very important to know that there are so many beautiful, good things in the world, but I always have to adapt them to my own life. I shouldn’t look at it and think, “If Shari gets up at five in the morning and I’m still asleep, what’s wrong with me?”

21:40 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

21:41 Speaker 3 Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave me a particular body and particular abilities. And as you said, sometimes you’re postpartum—there are endless circumstances. You have to know how to listen to your body and take inspiration in a positive way.

21:54 Speaker 2 Right.

21:54 Speaker 3 Because otherwise, I think, it can sometimes be frustrating.

21:56 Speaker 2 Look at everything on social media today, everything you see other women doing. You have two choices. You can think, “Why am I not like that?” and get stressed, wanting to be like her. Or you can say, “Okay, I have my own circumstances, my own abilities, my own starting point. Let’s see what I can take from this and put to good use.” Take the good things—draw something good from every person.

22:22 Speaker 3 Exactly.

22:22 Speaker 2 That’s really a lifelong task.

22:24 Speaker 3 It really is.

22:24 Speaker 2 Right? To take something from every person, even someone you’re just having an ordinary conversation with. Personally, I’m surrounded by women all day long. I teach women at the studio, and I work with women on Zoom. And, well, we’ll talk about the massages—I work with women there too. So I hear stories all day, and I love it. Tell me to sit in front of a computer? Oh no, absolutely not.

22:49 Speaker 3 You need people.

22:50 Speaker 2 I really do. I need a person in front of me. I need to talk to her. I need friends. I love that. But when you’re around lots of people, you’re also exposed to all sorts of personalities, stories and experiences. So you have to know how to take the good things from each person, because nobody’s perfect. Not me, not you, not anyone.

23:12 Speaker 3 Right.

23:12 Speaker 2 We’re not perfect, but we try. We do our best when we can.

23:19 Speaker 3 Tell me, how did you get into massage? Does it tie in with fitness for you?

23:24 Speaker 2 It definitely ties in with fitness. I’ll tell you how I got into it. I’ve been a fitness instructor for over eighteen years. I have a studio and groups for women, including women before and after giving birth, and I teach on Zoom too. These days I have lots of instructors who teach classes for me. But years ago, women would come to me and say, “Oh, I’m tight here, I’m tight there, it hurts. My neck has seized up, my leg has seized up.” So I’d give them a little amateur massage, you know, without having studied it. And they’d say, “Wow, you really loosened that up,” or “Wow, that feels so much better.” After I heard that a few times, I remembered that even as a teenager, I was always the one who gave my mother massages on her legs and back.

24:13 Speaker 3 Those good hands of yours.

24:14 Speaker 2 Yes. “Shari, come give me a massage”—and I’d do it for friends at seminary too. Yes, I had it in my hands. But when I went into fitness, I didn’t think much about massage. Then women kept saying, “Wow, you loosened that up for me. You made me feel better.” So I said, all right, I’m going to study it professionally. And I did. I studied for several years, got certified, studied medical massage. The truth is, I love learning, and I’m still studying today. I’m about to finish a shiatsu course.

24:39 Speaker 3 Wow.

24:39 Speaker 2 That’s two years of study. Yes.

24:41 Speaker 3 Shiatsu is basically massage from Chinese medicine?

24:44 Speaker 2 Right, shiatsu is Chinese. It uses pressure on specific points to release certain things in the body.

24:52 Speaker 3 It’s amazing to see how you follow the need.

24:54 Speaker 2 Yes.

24:55 Speaker 3 I mean, women come to you, and you say, “Okay, I need to learn something for this. I’m good at this. Let’s go, I’m on it.” It’s amazing. You follow Hakadosh Boruch Hu.

25:02 Speaker 2 Exactly. Except it’s not that I follow Hakadosh Boruch Hu. Hakadosh Boruch Hu leads me.

25:07 Speaker 3 Exactly.

25:08 Speaker 2 To those places.

25:08 Speaker 3 We don’t always have the privilege of seeing that. We’re so focused. You know, there’s this trend today of making a vision board and setting goals for yourself. Sometimes it does the opposite. Sometimes it limits me: “By forty, I want to be this and that.” But wait a second—let Hakadosh Boruch Hu lead you.

25:22 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

25:23 Speaker 3 Wherever that takes you.

25:23 Speaker 2 I can tell you that when I was younger, at first, I used to do that too. I’d try to get everything done and meet the goals I’d set myself, and on and on: “I have to get this done, and this, and this.” And listen, when it didn’t happen, it was very frustrating.

25:38 Speaker 3 Exactly, because it’s about control.

25:40 Speaker 2 Exactly. But I think things changed when I started learning Tanya—that’s what I think, anyway. In any case, in recent years I reached a point where I really make Hakadosh Boruch Hu more present in my life, and believe that whatever happens is what needs to happen. Not to react with, “Oh no, if this didn’t happen, Hashem help me! I didn’t get this done, and I didn’t do that.” No. Hakadosh Boruch Hu leads me, and believe me, He’s led me to the best places. Boruch Hashem, we just have to trust Him and understand that our whole purpose in this world is to depend on Him.

26:17 Speaker 3 Absolutely.

26:19 Speaker 2 And who are we? Who are we, really? Everything we have is His. So we have nothing to be proud of, nothing to show off about—nothing. Because it isn’t us.

26:31 Speaker 3 Absolutely.

26:32 Speaker 2 It isn’t us.

26:32 Speaker 3 In the end, that’s what brings out the best in us. Because you’re connected to the greatest power. So, honestly, everything works out. Everything.

26:39 Speaker 2 Everything works out. And even when it doesn’t, you say, “It’s not that it isn’t working out.”

26:43 Speaker 3 Exactly.

26:44 Speaker 2 It might just seem to me that it isn’t.

26:46 Speaker 3 That’s how it looks.

26:46 Speaker 2 That it didn’t turn out well. But it’s for the good. It’s simply for the good, and in the end everything falls into place. Come on, they tell us everything fits together like a puzzle, but we can’t always see it.

26:55 Speaker 3 Right.

26:55 Speaker 2 Not always. But once you believe—and I believe that everything comes from Him and everything, absolutely everything, is guided—then you can simply let go of control.

27:05 Speaker 3 Absolutely. Wow. So you actually... Are there women who come to you just for massages?

27:11 Speaker 2 Of course, definitely.

27:12 Speaker 3 So that’s really a field in its own right.

27:13 Speaker 2 It’s a separate field. I went to study it—that’s where we were. And then I opened a clinic in my home in Ashdod. I have a room there with a massage table, and I do all kinds of massages. I help people release tight muscles. And over the last year or two, I started getting inquiries from all sorts of places around the country. Really, all sorts of places. And then—I don’t even know how it happened. But you know, things develop.

27:46 Speaker 3 Yes.

27:46 Speaker 2 So now, for one thing, I regularly do massages in Jerusalem. Once a week I rent a clinic there and give women in Jerusalem massages. And every so often I travel to different places around the country. Women book appointments, and I just go.

28:04 Speaker 3 A full day of appointments.

28:04 Speaker 2 A full day of appointments, exactly. I can tell you I’ve been to Elad, Netanya, Haifa, and Bnei Brak.

28:14 Speaker 3 You just need to clone yourself—put a Shari in every city.

28:18 Speaker 2 Wow.

28:20 Speaker 3 Because that really is a lot. I know travel just eats up your time. It’s unbelievable.

28:25 Speaker 2 It really does. Yes. So, like I said, it isn’t something regular. Jerusalem is regular, but then again, Jerusalem is my hometown. I grew up there, and my parents live there. So for me...

28:37 Speaker 3 It’s a joy to get there.

28:38 Speaker 2 Yes, exactly. Exactly.

28:41 Speaker 3 Tell me, I’m curious to ask you something. You said women come to you with pain, and I’m thinking to myself: When do I actually go for a massage? When I’m in pain, when my muscles seize up. But I’d like to hear from you whether maybe we shouldn’t wait until it hurts.

28:56 Speaker 2 Exactly. That’s the mistake we all make—everyone who thinks she only needs a massage when her muscles seize up.

29:03 Speaker 3 So when should we go?

29:03 Speaker 2 When? Much earlier. Really, you should do it regularly, every so often. Put it in your schedule.

29:09 Speaker 3 Once a month?

29:10 Speaker 2 Schedule a massage. Look, once a month is recommended, but I can’t tell you that most women do it once a month. They don’t, okay?

29:16 Speaker 3 Yes.

29:16 Speaker 2 For all kinds of reasons. But you should do it periodically, even every six months. Know that you’re going for a massage. Don’t wait until your muscles seize up. Don’t wait until you can’t move your neck. Honestly, you don’t want to know the cases that come to me. You touch a woman here, you touch her neck, her arm, her leg—it’s like stone. Stone.

29:38 Speaker 3 Why does that happen to us?

29:39 Speaker 2 Why? Because it’s in our nature to take care of everyone.

29:42 Speaker 3 Yes.

29:42 Speaker 2 The children, our husbands, everyone, our parents—who don’t we take care of? But we put ourselves aside. We need to put ourselves first in every area, not just with food or exercise, but with massage too. There really is a little less awareness of this, although in recent years a lot has developed, and massage has become more of a thing in our community too.

30:06 Speaker 3 Well, I’m waiting until I feel my neck seizing up.

30:08 Speaker 2 I’ll loosen it up for you soon. What am I here for? What for? But yes, don’t let it get to that point. Just prevent it much earlier. Don’t wait until you can’t move.

30:20 Speaker 3 Do you see particular cases—how can I put it? Say, a particular profession where a lot of women come in with tension

30:28 Speaker 2 Yes.

30:28 Speaker 3 in a certain part of the body?

30:29 Speaker 2 Yes.

30:29 Speaker 3 People who work on computers, obviously.

30:30 Speaker 2 Absolutely. I have one client who’s a bank manager. She really does come to me regularly, every month, because her muscles seize up a lot. She spends so much time on the computer and on the phone. So yes, that’s one profession. Anyone who works on a computer.

30:43 Speaker 3 They’re all stiff as boards.

30:44 Speaker 2 Today we’re a sedentary generation. Yes, today we sit and sit.

30:47 Speaker 3 Wow, I have to share a little story that might even help one person. Speaking of massages, a few months after the birth of my second son, I had terrible headaches—really, really, really awful headaches. I even went to a neurologist, who scanned my whole head, and no one could figure out what it was.

31:06 Speaker 2 Yes.

31:06 Speaker 3 Then, when I came back to her again, she suddenly asked me, “Listen, are you nursing?” I said yes. In short, it turned out I wasn’t nursing in the right position. I mean...

31:16 Speaker 2 How were you nursing? Sitting down?

31:17 Speaker 3 My head—yes, I don’t remember exactly, but my head was bent down toward the baby.

31:22 Speaker 2 Yes.

31:23 Speaker 3 She told me, “The blood isn’t flowing to your brain.”

31:26 Speaker 2 Right.

31:27 Speaker 3 She told me, “Get ten massages.” Listen, it was like magic.

31:32 Speaker 2 Wow.

31:33 Speaker 3 Like magic.

31:33 Speaker 2 Wow, absolutely.

31:35 Speaker 3 Of course, I also had to change my nursing position and learn how to do it properly, but...

31:39 Speaker 2 And you have to. Because so many women who are nursing, and women after giving birth, get a lot of tension in their upper backs. So it’s important to know how

31:48 Speaker 3 Yes.

31:48 Speaker 2 to nurse properly, without straining your neck and shoulders.

31:53 Speaker 3 Absolutely. And really, if I’d been aware of it, I would have immediately...

31:56 Speaker 2 Gone right away.

31:57 Speaker 3 Taken care of it.

31:57 Speaker 2 Right, right. So there you go, anyone listening to us

32:00 Speaker 3 Absolutely.

32:01 Speaker 2 who has a little pain, or even—

32:02 Speaker 3 What other things do you see—say, recurring problems where women come to you and say, “Wow, if only I’d known you could help me with this”?

32:12 Speaker 2 Ah, we also started talking about the kinds of work that leave people with tight muscles. So, for example, wig stylists also bend over a lot, and they stand with their backs sort of slumped. That puts a lot of strain on the neck area. But I can tell you that women come to me from all kinds of jobs and fields. Even women whose work isn’t physically demanding, or who don’t work outside the home at all. So many, many women get tight muscles. We also do housework, and when we clean the house, we don’t always do it the right way. By the way, in my exercise classes I also teach a lot about how to bend properly, how to wring out a cleaning rag properly, even how to lift a baby properly. Basic things people don’t always know. If a woman knows them, she can prevent knee problems, for example, or lower-back problems. Here’s an example: a woman spends a lot of time standing in the kitchen, cooking, or doing whatever else. She’s on her feet for a long time, standing on both legs. She may get lower-back pain, right? First of all, wear comfortable shoes. Put one foot on a small stool and switch feet every few minutes. See? Not everyone knows these things, but they’re simple things you can do to prevent pain. Why? Because when you stand for a long time, you put strain on your lower back. When you put one foot on a chair—or rather, I mean a small stool—you shift that strain. It isn’t all resting on one spot, and that helps prevent pain. The same with knees: knowing how to bend properly so you don’t strain your knees. How do you breathe properly?

33:48 Speaker 3 Wow, that’s a whole subject in itself.

33:50 Speaker 2 A whole subject, a whole subject. But there are basics: breathe in through your nose, breathe out through your mouth, and pull your stomach in as you breathe out. And you should know that not everyone knows this. It may seem basic to us, but some women say, “What? When I breathe out, I pull my stomach in? I thought it was the other way around. When I breathe out, I thought my stomach was supposed to go out.” But people aren’t taught how to do it. And then your whole posture improves. Once you breathe properly, take air in properly and let it out properly, your posture improves too—everything suddenly opens up. So these really are basic things that not everyone knows. And someone who starts... Well, first of all, now that you’re listening to the podcast, you know you need to take care of yourselves. But yes, that’s what I tell women: take care of yourselves. Just take care of yourselves. Do whatever you need to do for your body and soul, so you can keep functioning well.

34:47 Speaker 3 I think what’s really amazing is that sometimes these are things that seem so small.

34:51 Speaker 2 Right.

34:51 Speaker 3 You just need to know them. Nobody teaches us. Oh, listen, I had gym class in school. We ran around in circles and mostly played games.

34:59 Speaker 2 We used to play in the yard.

35:02 Speaker 3 Exactly. We should actually be learning about life. Well, you could say that about everything in school. Why don’t they teach us about life itself? But yes, these are basic things every woman should know. And speaking of what every woman should know, I’m very interested in what you teach women after childbirth.

35:18 Speaker 2 Courses for women before and after childbirth.

35:20 Speaker 3 What does a woman need to know after giving birth?

35:22 Speaker 2 Oh, wow, so many things. The courses I teach are group courses. I try to keep the groups small so each woman really gets more personal attention. They’re for women up to six months after giving birth. And by the way, you can also get reimbursed for them through your maternity benefits. What we do is a workshop—that’s what I call it. We work on everything a woman needs to work on after childbirth. For example, the pelvic floor and bladder control. So many women have problems with this. After all, it can get worse with each birth. But even young women who’ve given birth only once have all sorts of pelvic-floor problems and weak control muscles. They learn how to strengthen them and work with them properly. The abdomen, the transverse abdominal muscles—how do you work them properly? Have you ever heard the term abdominal separation?

36:17 Speaker 3 I’ve heard of it, and I’d be interested to hear more, because I’ve also heard about complications from it.

36:22 Speaker 2 Right.

36:22 Speaker 3 It’s really something important to bring up.

36:23 Speaker 2 Very important. Abdominal separation is basically—well, I’ll explain as best I can on a podcast, where you can’t see it. We have a straight abdominal muscle running down the length of the abdomen, the rectus muscle. What happens during pregnancy, before birth, is that as the belly grows, the muscles separate to the sides. Muscle is flexible, you know; it can separate and it can come back together. This happens to every woman. It’s called separation—the muscles move apart to the sides. Usually after birth, like many other things that settle back into place, this also...

36:55 Speaker 3 Is supposed to.

36:56 Speaker 2 Yes, it’s supposed to settle back into place. For some women, the gap stays open. Now, there are different degrees of it. If it’s very severe, a woman can develop an umbilical hernia, and if it isn’t treated properly, it can progress to a more serious hernia that requires surgery. I should mention that the separation itself doesn’t hurt. So...

37:18 Speaker 3 Right. So how do you know if you have it?

37:19 Speaker 2 How do you know? In this workshop for women after childbirth, the first thing I do when we start the exercises is check them for separation. It’s simple to check; anyone can check herself. You place your fingers across the abdomen below the navel, and when the woman lifts her head up, you press your fingers in below the navel and see how many fingers fit in the gap. From two and a half finger-widths onward, it’s considered separation. Now, if you have separation, you shouldn’t lift heavy things, for example. In general, it’s better for women not to carry heavy things, right? I’m sure you know that. If a woman lifts something heavy, it can widen the separation—it will likely make it worse. And if she has a hernia, then she certainly, certainly mustn’t lift heavy things. Sit-ups, too: say a woman comes to an exercise class after giving birth. She hasn’t done this postnatal workshop, she isn’t aware of the issue, and the instructors don’t always know about it either, because working with women during and after pregnancy is a special area of training. She comes in and does sit-ups even though she has separation, perhaps quite a large gap. What happens? It makes it worse.

38:31 Speaker 3 Wow.

38:31 Speaker 2 Yes, and then it gets bigger and bigger, until it becomes a hernia.

38:35 Speaker 3 How do people not know about this?

38:37 Speaker 2 The truth is, there’s more awareness of it today.

38:38 Speaker 3 You go for... You know, there’s that routine checkup with the gynecologist six weeks after giving birth.

38:44 Speaker 2 Right.

38:44 Speaker 3 No, they don’t mention this.

38:45 Speaker 2 That’s something I really—I honestly don’t understand...

38:48 Speaker 3 Yes, what?

38:48 Speaker 2 Why the doctors don’t talk about it.

38:52 Speaker 3 It’s so basic.

38:53 Speaker 2 It really is. Yes. I truly don’t understand why, when a woman comes in for a checkup, they don’t include this. I believe that over the years this will develop too, and it’s also such a—

39:04 Speaker 3 And you can treat this with certain exercises, right?

39:06 Speaker 2 Exactly, with exercises too. First, you need to know how to breathe in and out properly, and avoid certain exercises that could make it worse. Forward sit-ups—when we bend forward, that increases the separation. But if we do diagonal exercises, for example, you know...

39:22 Speaker 3 From the sides.

39:22 Speaker 2 From the sides, that’s not a problem, because those are different muscles.

39:24 Speaker 3 Wow. So you really, really need to know.

39:26 Speaker 2 Yes.

39:26 Speaker 3 Sides.

39:27 Speaker 2 You need to adapt the exercises. That’s why a woman who comes to a workshop like this after childbirth spends some time learning about her body—what to activate and how to do it properly. After that she can join any class, Pilates, and later on aerobics. I do recommend Pilates first after childbirth, and then aerobics and jumping. First strengthen the whole system. And they really do learn that there. I also talk about it a lot in my status updates. Anyone who follows me knows I talk a lot about both abdominal separation and bladder control. A great deal.

40:03 Speaker 3 Wow. And they bring the babies to us.

40:06 Speaker 2 And the babies—we include them in the class too. For example, how to pick them up properly and how to bend down to them properly. And the last one is a mom-and-baby workshop. That includes exercises with the babies too. You hold them like weights, for example, and do certain exercises with them, and there’s also baby massage, which is amazing. So here I really combine fitness with massage. We put the babies on the mat, and I teach the mothers different kinds of massage. For example, if a baby has a cold—this can help all the children at home too, right? Even ourselves. Which points to press and how to ease the congestion. Say a baby has a cold, with phlegm and congestion. There are pressure points in the muscles above the chest that help.

40:59 Speaker 3 Something on the back too, right?

41:00 Speaker 2 Yes, on the back and on the legs. And how to calm them.

41:04 Speaker 3 Wow, in Ukraine I used to bring someone in all the time.

41:06 Speaker 2 Really?

41:06 Speaker 3 We had a woman from the community.

41:08 Speaker 2 Wow.

41:08 Speaker 3 That was her profession. She was at our house all winter.

41:11 Speaker 2 How nice.

41:13 Speaker 3 Yes, yes. But I think that here in Israel—well, first of all, it really is more expensive, since it’s a private service.

41:18 Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

41:18 Speaker 3 And I think there’s less awareness too. There’s a certain pressure to life here, and we don’t get around to these things.

41:23 Speaker 2 Yes. I haven’t been to Ukraine, so I don’t know what it’s like there.

41:26 Speaker 3 Right.

41:26 Speaker 2 But is it more relaxed than here?

41:27 Speaker 3 Definitely. The pace is different.

41:29 Speaker 2 Wasn’t it hard for you to come here for the course?

41:30 Speaker 3 Not at all. Five in the morning.

41:32 Speaker 2 Well.

41:32 Speaker 3 One time I got up to go for a walk. Come on, say you leave the house at five-thirty. What do you see outside?

41:40 Speaker 2 What, when we go out for a run?

41:42 Speaker 3 Yes.

41:42 Speaker 2 Quiet.

41:43 Speaker 3 No, but not dead silence. There are cars.

41:45 Speaker 2 Yes, but—

41:46 Speaker 3 There’s a Tnuva truck.

41:47 Speaker 2 Yes, yes, yes. Honestly, it depends on the area too.

41:51 Speaker 3 Oh, okay.

41:51 Speaker 2 In the Chareidi neighborhoods, it’s completely quiet.

41:55 Speaker 3 Dead quiet.

41:55 Speaker 2 Once we get a little outside the Chareidi neighborhoods, there’s traffic. People are already out; some shops are open. By the way, after our run—which we haven’t even talked about yet—we often sit down for coffee. So you can see that a café is open and people are working.

42:11 Speaker 3 Right, right.

42:11 Speaker 2 There’s activity.

42:12 Speaker 3 Israel wakes up early. Actually, I remember that when I was a girl, there was a period when I’d get up early to go walking with my grandmother.

42:18 Speaker 2 Wow.

42:19 Speaker 3 Well, how early was it? Six? We’d go out at six.

42:22 Speaker 2 Six is already morning. Come on, people are already—

42:24 Speaker 3 Wait, let me finish. We’d go out at six, and there were people with tallisim on their way to davening. In Ukraine, I once said to myself, “Let’s get up early for once.” I went out for a walk at six-thirty. Listen, I came home after ten minutes because I was so scared to be out on the street.

42:38 Speaker 2 There was nobody at all—

42:40 Speaker 3 Deserted.

42:40 Speaker 2 Wow.

42:41 Speaker 3 Deserted, deserted, deserted, deserted, deserted. The shops don’t even open until ten, and school starts at nine.

42:46 Speaker 2 Nice and relaxed.

42:47 Speaker 3 Yes, yes.

42:47 Speaker 2 I think it’s like that in Europe too. When I’m in Europe from time to time, you know, I see that before ten, the shops aren’t open.

42:54 Speaker 3 Yes. So here in Israel, I think this five-in-the-morning club fits relatively well with the Israeli pace.

43:01 Speaker 2 With the Israeli pressure.

43:02 Speaker 3 Everything’s fast, you have to get everything done... So how did we get onto this? Because I’m saying that sometimes, in the rush of life—one thing I noticed about life in Ukraine is that people take things more easily.

43:13 Speaker 2 They’re more relaxed.

43:13 Speaker 3 Yes, which of course has advantages and disadvantages.

43:16 Speaker 2 Absolutely, absolutely.

43:16 Speaker 3 And so on. But people are more likely to get around to things like complementary medicine and to do these things ahead of time. You know, almost everyone there takes their babies swimming.

43:27 Speaker 2 How nice.

43:28 Speaker 3 And when I sent my two children to learn to swim—

43:31 Speaker 2 Yes.

43:32 Speaker 3 They told the teacher that—

43:33 Speaker 2 That they’d learned—

43:34 Speaker 3 No, that they had a baby brother. She said, “What? Then why doesn’t their mother bring him?” And I was like, “I don’t have time, I don’t have time.”

43:40 Speaker 2 Wow.

43:41 Speaker 3 But really—

43:42 Speaker 2 Did you take him? Did you take him swimming?

43:43 Speaker 3 No, in the end I didn’t. But really, how do we fit all these things into the rush of life? And “rush” is a word made for you, right? These things are important. They really are important. Like I said, in life it isn’t a luxury.

43:59 Speaker 2 Totally. Anyone who thinks it’s a luxury should know that it’s a real mistake to think that way. People think it’s pampering, something beyond what they’re supposedly entitled to or can manage to fit into their day. But it’s all a matter of priorities for each woman, and part of our obligation is to take care of our bodies. So rather than waiting until a muscle seizes up, take care of yourself beforehand. Just as you get your eyebrows done, just as a woman goes to a beautician, there’s also a massage therapist who can loosen things up and give you a massage, releasing what needs to be released so you don’t end up in—

44:41 Speaker 4 Yes.

44:42 Speaker 2 Unpleasant situations.

44:43 Speaker 4 So where does running fit into all this? I’m curious.

44:45 Speaker 2 That’s in the morning. I have a group in Ashdod, and we usually meet at the beach, which is amazing. There’s also Chani, whom we spoke about earlier, the one I study Tanya with. She wanted to start running, but she’d never run before. She said to me, “Shari, how am I going to do it?” I told her, “Chani, just start, and you’ll see how far you’ll get.” Listen—

45:15 Speaker 4 I know.

45:16 Speaker 2 Now I don’t want to hear any woman say she has no time or energy, because Chani has fourteen children. She works hard, she’s a shlucha, she’s active and does so many things, and she finds the time once a week and refuses to give it up. We started—and actually, they all start this way. But since we’re talking about Chani: she started from nothing, running for less than a minute, half a minute. It was hard for her, and she was out of breath. And listen, today we run ten kilometers every week, and she’s the one saying to me, “Shari, come on, Shari, come on.” She makes plans with me so that we’ll actually do it. She’s really become hooked on it, and it happens to so many women.

46:00 Speaker 4 I think your body gives you such incredible feedback that you simply can’t give it up.

46:04 Speaker 2 You can’t. It feels so good.

46:06 Speaker 4 We ran to Ashkelon.

46:07 Speaker 2 You ran? Wow. You’re really into this.

46:10 Speaker 4 When do you want to run to Kiryat Gat?

46:11 Speaker 2 Listen, when we ran to Ashkelon, it was just before the war. Then came October 7, which was on Simchas Torah. We ran during Sukkos, on one of the first days of Chol Hamoed, from Ashdod to Ashkelon. It’s about eight or nine kilometers. We ran along the beach. My whole running group took part, and we just ran on the sand. First of all, it’s amazing. It’s harder, though. It depends on the sand. There’s soft sand, you know, where you really sink in, and there’s the sand closer to the...

46:45 Speaker 4 The firmer ground.

46:46 Speaker 2 Exactly, the sand closer to the water.

46:49 Speaker 4 Yes.

46:50 Speaker 2 First of all, it’s a dream. It’s a dream to see the sea in the morning. And at the time, there was also Mushka—maybe you know her? I don’t remember her last name. She’s a shlucha in Ashkelon.

47:04 Speaker 4 There are lots of them there.

47:04 Speaker 2 Oh, right. Maybe I’ll remember her last name in a moment. Anyway, she said to us, “Come to my sukkah. I have a sukkah.” So we ran all the way to Ashkelon.

47:14 Speaker 4 Wait, she traveled to Ashdod and ran to Ashkelon?

47:16 Speaker 2 No, she was waiting for us at home.

47:18 Speaker 4 Okay.

47:18 Speaker 2 She hosted us.

47:20 Speaker 4 Even better.

47:21 Speaker 2 She hosted us. We ran to Ashkelon. I think it was eight or nine kilometers, and then we got to her place. It was Sukkos. We sat in the sukkah and had breakfast. It was amazing, amazing, amazing. And then the war started. Right afterward, we said, first of all, it was a miracle we’d done it beforehand. We’d been talking all along about making that our goal, and it happened by sheer luck just before the war. And from then until today, we still haven’t run to Ashkelon again, because, you know, you still can’t tell what will happen. There are sirens here, and it’s a route where you have nowhere to run or take shelter. May Hashem help us do it again soon.

48:00 Speaker 4 Wait, if you run north, in the opposite direction, where do you end up?

48:04 Speaker 2 No, then you get to... to...

48:05 Speaker 4 The sea.

48:05 Speaker 2 The port.

48:06 Speaker 4 Oh.

48:07 Speaker 2 I don’t think there’s a continuous route.

48:08 Speaker 4 You have to go through there.

48:09 Speaker 2 Yes.

48:09 Speaker 4 Right.

48:09 Speaker 2 It’s only toward Ashkelon that you can run.

48:12 Speaker 4 All the way to Gaza.

48:13 Speaker 2 Yes. Wow. Oy, oy. With Hashem’s help, soon we’ll run to Gaza too.

48:16 Speaker 4 Yes, absolutely.

48:17 Speaker 2 To Gaza and back.

48:20 Speaker 4 Wow, Shari. Tell me, how do you start running?

48:24 Speaker 2 Ah, how do you start running? First, you start with walking. Let’s start there. First you walk, and then you learn how to run properly. You need to know the rules I emphasize in my groups, too. For example, just briefly: don’t lock your knees. How to... how to land properly on your foot so you don’t put too much strain on it. How to tighten and release other muscles in your body as you go, like your abdominal muscles. Like we discussed with the pelvic floor muscles. I emphasize that during runs, too, so you really do it properly. Tighten your stomach muscles and, of course, release them. How not to tense your shoulders and upper body. How not to strain your lower back.

49:07 Speaker 4 How can you run if you have to think about three things at once?

49:09 Speaker 2 No, you really don’t have to think about them as you go. You know, once you’ve repeated them lots of times, and I’m constantly emphasizing them, along with how to breathe properly... Right now it sounds to you like, wow, that’s confusing, all at once. But no, it flows. It really does flow as you go. And with any activity you do, make sure to do this afterward. Something just came to mind: yesterday, a follower messaged me—I even posted it on my status. She asked me a question. She’s been playing catchball for a long time, and afterward she has pain. I don’t even remember where she said it hurt, in her knees or her back, and she asked what could be causing it. Anyway, it turned out she had never done stretches at the end of a workout. Come on, after any workout—whether it’s running, a game, or the gym—do stretches. Loosen up your body.

49:52 Speaker 4 Explain why.

49:54 Speaker 2 Why? Because...

49:54 Speaker 4 So it’ll stick with us.

49:55 Speaker 2 Okay. I’ll explain briefly. When we’re active, what happens to our muscles? They contract and shorten. As we said, a muscle is flexible. If we leave a muscle shortened and contracted, what will happen over time as we keep putting more and more strain on it? It’ll contract more and more. Eventually it’ll seize up. Why does a muscle seize up? Because you don’t release it. But if we loosen it, stretch it, open it up, and massage it—that also loosens the muscles. Acupuncture and massage might help your knees, too. Sometimes the problem comes from the leg muscles. But that’s an aside. So if we leave the muscle contracted and shortened, as I said, it’ll seize up. That’s why it’s so, so important to make sure you cool down and stretch, which essentially lengthens the muscle so it doesn’t stay tight and contracted.

50:50 Speaker 4 Beautiful. Tell me, Shari.

50:51 Speaker 2 Yes.

50:52 Speaker 4 Say someone’s listening to you now and thinking, “Wow, I’d love to do some kind of sport, something.” What’s the most basic thing? Someone who does nothing and wants to start now from zero. What do you tell her? She has half an hour a day, or twenty minutes—twenty minutes a day. What’s the most basic, most important starting point? Let’s put it that way.

51:15 Speaker 2 Look, there are lots of important things, and of course every woman knows her own limitations and how much time she has. Though I think saying “I don’t have time for fitness” isn’t really true. We find time for what we want to do, and it needs to be important enough to say, “Okay, I can devote an hour a day to this.” But there’s plenty you can do at home, too. Like I mentioned, I run Zoom fitness classes for women. Dozens of women simply set aside half an hour for themselves to work out, say, at six in the morning. I also have evening classes—it doesn’t matter, there are classes at different times of day. But they do it from home, even using things they have at home; you don’t need serious equipment. And learning to breathe in and out properly is certainly something everyone can do. Learning how to do things around the house properly. If you also work outside the home, learning how not to strain the muscles you usually strain at work. And stretching from time to time, reaching and lengthening your body. Things every woman should know.

52:23 Speaker 4 Basically, incorporating it into our day-to-day lives.

52:24 Speaker 2 Absolutely.

52:24 Speaker 4 Doing the things we already do anyway, but doing them properly.

52:26 Speaker 2 Exactly.

52:27 Speaker 4 What, if I wash the floors throughout the house for an hour and do the movements properly, that’s an hour of exercise.

52:31 Speaker 2 Yes, but you need to know how to do it properly, because when we wash the floors, we tend to strain our backs, our knees, and plenty of other things. So we simply need to learn to do everything we already do, but in a way that’s proper, helpful, and effective.

52:47 Speaker 4 And once we do it properly, we’ve got fitness covered.

52:51 Speaker 2 No, no. That’s not—it’s not nearly enough. It’s not that if you’ve done housework, you don’t need to exercise. No. You should exercise, and every woman should do the kind of exercise that suits her. That’s why there’s such a range of options. There’s swimming at the pool. By the way, women who suffer from knee pain often like swimming. There’s swimming, and at my studio, too, there’s a whole range of workouts: Tabata, aerobics, Pilates, yoga, and lots more. Each woman connects with something different. She knows what’s good for her and feels what’s good for her. One woman might find running really good—fun, freeing, and pleasant—while another won’t connect with it, so she’ll walk instead, and that’s excellent. I’m not in favor of saying one thing is the absolute best. No. Something different suits each woman, and even for the same woman, one thing might suit her at a particular time—say, before giving birth—and after some time passes, something else might suit her, and she’ll connect with that. You need to enjoy it. In the end, they all enjoy working out. You know, I’ve had women come in and tell me, “Wow, Shari, I hate working out. I can’t stand it. I don’t like it. I come because I know it’s healthy.” Well, today they’re hooked.

54:06 Speaker 4 When, when, when does that change happen?

54:08 Speaker 2 It happens. It happens for every woman at some point, simply because you feel—you feel that it’s doing you good. You feel it gives you energy. You feel that it even loosens up your body, so you get hooked.

54:20 Speaker 4 But I think it’s really important to know that it’s hard at the beginning. I mean, you have to get through a period when you might not yet feel how good it is for you. You know?

54:28 Speaker 2 Right.

54:29 Speaker 4 It’s not like I exercise for the first time and, wow, I’ve seen the light. No, hold on. Be patient.

54:33 Speaker 2 There’s no magic trick.

54:34 Speaker 4 Exactly.

54:35 Speaker 2 Everything happens in stages. Slowly, gradually. Again, listen to your body and know that the beginning is hard. Often after your first class, you feel—well, you feel really, really sore. You know, all your muscles, everything. But that’s good! Great! It shows you worked out. It shows your muscles worked properly. Wait; with time it’ll get easier. With time you’ll get into it. There’s nothing in life where you just show up and, there you go, everything runs smoothly and works out perfectly—not in any area. Everything takes perseverance and consistency, which is especially important with fitness. Consistency. Not that someone comes once and then for two weeks, you know, she can’t make it, then she can, and suddenly she comes back. No. That’s starting over again. You need consistency and perseverance, and you really need to set a specific time to do it and stick to it, not just do it once in a while.

55:27 Speaker 4 Yes. Put it in your—

55:29 Speaker 2 Schedule.

55:30 Speaker 4 Yes. I think that really is about giving it the importance it deserves.

55:34 Speaker 2 You have to give it the importance it deserves.

55:35 Speaker 4 Just as it’s obvious to you that you shower every day, it should be obvious that you exercise a certain number of times a week.

55:42 Speaker 2 Exactly.

55:42 Speaker 4 And see it as: okay, this needs to happen. The only question is how.

55:47 Speaker 2 Yes.

55:47 Speaker 4 Don’t start thinking, should I, shouldn’t I? Maybe—

55:51 Speaker 2 No. Really, don’t overthink it at all, and don’t hesitate. You know what? Don’t even think about whether to sign up. Pick up the phone and sign up right now. Are you listening to us?

56:03 Speaker 4 Because what happens is that the moment we stop to think, the yetzer hara comes along. It knows this will be good for us, and it doesn’t want us to do so well, to be capable of bringing our light into the world. So it says, “Forget it. What for?”

56:15 Speaker 2 “What for? Why do you need this?”

56:16 Speaker 4 “You don’t feel like it.”

56:17 Speaker 2 “You don’t... You don’t have time for it. You don’t have the energy. You’re tired.” It’s like any area of life where it comes along and—

56:24 Speaker 4 Yes, exactly.

56:25 Speaker 2 —puts unhelpful thoughts in our heads. So no, don’t listen to it. Ignore it.

56:31 Speaker 4 Exactly.

56:32 Speaker 2 And just do what’s good for you. There’s no woman for whom exercise isn’t good. None. It doesn’t exist.

56:38 Speaker 4 Someone who—how does that saying about books go? Oh, wow, it’s so powerful. I’m sure I won’t phrase it exactly right, but someone who doesn’t know how to read probably just hasn’t found the right book yet. Someone who doesn’t like exercising probably just hasn’t found the right kind of exercise for them.

56:53 Speaker 2 Beautiful.

56:54 Speaker 4 Everyone has their own—

56:54 Speaker 2 I’m sold.

56:56 Speaker 4 What was I going to ask you? Um, right, we said time management.

57:02 Speaker 2 Yes.

57:03 Speaker 4 You do half of everything in the morning, but what does the rest of your day actually look like? I mean, how do you manage it all? You mentioned an afternoon nap. Is that something you make a point of doing?

57:11 Speaker 2 No. I said that if I get to the point where I’m really tired, I can grab a nap in the middle of the day. It’s not a regular thing for me.

57:18 Speaker 4 Right.

57:19 Speaker 2 Um, what does my daily routine look like? Honestly, it’s busy. It’s busy. Not every woman could keep up with what I do. But as we’ve been saying all along, each woman listens to herself. Today is Thursday. I’ll just give you an example from today. We already talked about my morning, the Zoom workout, setting the Shabbos table, and so on. I taught two classes today at the studio in Ashdod. I came here to you in Kiryat Gat. Now we’re recording the podcast, and from here I’m driving to Jerusalem, because Thursdays are my massage day in Jerusalem. So I have a number of massages, and I’m visiting my parents. A busy day—

57:57 Speaker 4 Until the evening.

57:58 Speaker 2 Until the evening, until nighttime.

58:00 Speaker 4 Wow.

58:00 Speaker 2 But I love it. I love having things to do, and I love making good use of my day.

58:08 Speaker 4 When do you cook for Shabbos?

58:09 Speaker 2 So, we talked about how I did that in the morning. I start some things early.

58:14 Speaker 4 Oh, today?

58:14 Speaker 2 Yes, this morning. When I got up this morning—and I get up early every day. On Wednesdays I also do things in the morning. I usually bake challah on Wednesday. The cooking is usually more my husband’s department. My husband loves cooking, and he does most of the Shabbos cooking.

58:30 Speaker 4 You and your husband complement each other.

58:33 Speaker 2 Completely. I’m more into the baking, all the desserts and the other things, the side dishes. He’s into the cooking. So if you were asking specifically about cooking, that’s the answer.

58:44 Speaker 4 No, setting the table is all well and good, but there has to be something to eat at it.

58:46 Speaker 2 There’ll be something to eat, with Hashem’s help. There’s already something to eat, and there’ll be more. It’s about time management and just really—not making a plan for the day and then stressing over whether I managed to do everything or not. But yes, if you get up early, you’ll have more hours. So what will you do with those hours? Do good things. If it’s Thursday, you have time to bake, and if it’s Sunday, you can daven, you can tidy the house. Each time, you can choose a particular closet to organize. And in the Five A.M. Club group, women shared incredible things they’d done, things they’d managed to get done. One woman managed to organize something. And it’s inspiring, too. Women show you pictures of what they did, and it’s fun; it motivates you. So the next day, another woman does something.

59:31 Speaker 4 Absolutely.

59:31 Speaker 2 That’s the power of a group.

59:33 Speaker 4 Amazing. Oh my goodness, I really think—well, it also depends on how much you make use of the night. But if you’re not making use of the night anyway and you’re just going to bed late, then this really is a change that adds up. If you add an hour or two to every day, that’s—

59:49 Speaker 2 Incredible.

59:49 Speaker 4 Hard to grasp how much time you’re actually adding to your life.

59:52 Speaker 2 Completely. And the morning hours in particular are good hours, because your body has more energy. So exercising first thing in the morning is better than doing it in the evening, when you’ve already had a full day and your body is tired. You’re not as fresh as you were at the start of the day, right? There’s nothing like the morning hours for all the things you want to do, whether at home or outside—or even studying and making progress. By the way, I told you I’m studying shiatsu. When I have exams, I get up early in the morning and study for them. That’s my time. Wow, wow, wow. Yes, it’s lovely. Together with the birds. Yes, hearing the birds—it’s inspiring. Tell me, how are your children with all of this? Are they also— Not yet. Into fitness and...? Um, fitness depends. You know, it varies. I have— They get to see you working on it and— I thought you meant getting up early, whether they get up early. Oh, no, no, no. I started to tell you— No, if they got up early, what would be the point? No, they don’t get up early. I use that time for myself. You know, I’m thinking about it: even if I got up at four in the morning, somehow my children would always beat me to it. Oh, really? No, boruch Hashem, I have my time, and then I wake them up. Actually, I do have a daughter who likes getting up early, and sometimes she even joins me for the Zoom workout. Um, you’re asking me about the children. Look, children are each their own person. Some connect with it more. With my children too, there are those who enjoy fitness more and really live

1:01:21 Speaker 2 it along with me, and there are those who... Sit on the couch and watch. Exactly. They’re less interested, but that’s okay. Yes. It’s absolutely okay. Shari, to finish, give us some kind of message that will help us take these things from theory into practice. Something practical. Yes. So first of all, understand— Get off the couch. Speaking of the— Yes. The couch we’re sitting on. Exactly. Get up and move. Yes. The first thing is to remember that a healthy mind needs a healthy body. That’s the whole motto. When the body has energy, the soul also gets what it needs, and things are easier for us emotionally, too. Um— That’s so true. Wow, really. It’s the truest thing you could say. Yes. With the difficult times we’re going through now, sometimes you’re just having a hard time—go for a walk. If you’re having a hard time, move your body, and it will— Absolutely. It will get something moving inside you. After all, what is the mind? We also have, you know, a brain, hormones—it’s all connected. Right. It’s just—everything in us is connected. So true. Wow. And all the endorphins that are released, and the body being energized. And when a woman does something, there’s also a sense of accomplishment: I did it, I made the time, I went to the gym, I went for a walk, I went for a run, I went to the pool. I did it. Great—you spent an hour taking care of yourself. What could be better than that? Absolutely. And the massages we talked about, too: taking care of yourself, releasing tension. Whether it’s fitness, massage, or anything in life, don’t wait until it reaches a state of neglect and you’re already suffering from pain and other problems. Be wise and take care of it beforehand. Absolutely. Take care of the vessel Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave us. There’s the vessel and the light: the vessel is the body, and the light is the neshamah. When we take proper care of the vessel, the neshamah can shine. Wow. And that’s really like saying to Hakadosh Boruch

1:03:19 Speaker 2 It’s, “You gave me potential, and I want to realize as much of it as I can, so I’m doing everything I can to bring what I have into the world.” Between us, when are we better mothers? When are we... To everyone listening now, mothers of every kind—it doesn’t matter whether you’re an accountant or you work in a store. You’ll always be better when you take care of yourself at the most basic level. Absolutely. Being healthy, standing tall, eating the right things. Being strong. Yes. Being strong, and the whole family benefits. Exactly. Everyone benefits. Because when a mother is happy and fulfilled and has taken care of herself, who benefits in the end? Exactly. When a mother isn’t going around saying, “Oh, I have a headache, I’m tired,” and on and on. By the way, when you exercise, you get fewer headaches, and all sorts of other things that used to hurt don’t hurt as much either. Women often ask me, “I woke up today with a stiff back. Would it be good for me to come work out?” I tell them, “Yes, come.” And you know what happens afterward? In most cases—in 99.9 percent of cases—everything loosens up. It loosens up. Yes. Wow! Shari Tzelniker, I made it to the end. Well done. Well done. Thank you so much for coming. My pleasure. What can I wish you? I had such a good time. We didn’t even notice the time passing—it just flew by. Yes. It was fun. Believe me, I could sit here for another hour. And these couches—come on, let’s stay... They’re comfortable couches. Where are you running off to? I’m running. Right now I’m running. I truly wish you to keep going. I look at you and see someone whom Hakadosh Boruch Hu has given abilities and talents, and who doesn’t keep them to herself at all. You also have

1:04:57 Speaker 2 an impact on the people around you, in person, in Ashdod and in your groups, and online too. Keep soaring. Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave us technology so we could reach... Amen. As many people as possible, and bring them good content and good things. And I hope there will be more women like you online—women who, when you see them, make you say, “This makes me want to be better.” Wow, how beautiful. Truly. Thank you, Shari. It’s so nice to hear that. Thank you for the kind words. I had such a good time. Truly. May we merit to bring more good into the world. That’s it—that’s our only goal. Thank you, Shari. May we only do good.