Ears to Hear 10 | "Our Moshiach Is Destined to Be Concealed and Then Revealed Again"

00:00 Speaker 1 And Hashem gave you a heart to know, eyes to see, and ears to hear.

00:08 Speaker 2 Ears to Hear. Audio programs for the Temimim from Ata Haolami.

00:14 Speaker 1 It was truly one of the most wonderful moments of my life, and to this day I remember it so vividly. I’m not someone who gets carried away easily, but it was impossible to stay calm. I just jumped for joy. We really couldn’t believe the Rebbe was going to give a sicha.

00:50 Speaker 2 Shalom aleichem to all the Temimim in Chabad-Lubavitch yeshivos throughout the Holy Land and around the world. We now begin the tenth program in the Ears to Hear audio series, a program suffused with a spirit of steadfast hiskashrus to the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach shlita, and to his central concern: studying the subject of Moshiach in depth. One of the matters concerning Melech HaMoshiach in the end of days is Moshiach’s concealment before the Geulah, as brought in the Midrashim and Rashi: “Our Moshiach is destined to be concealed after he is revealed, and then return and be revealed.” We are now living in a time after the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, announced that we are already in the days of Moshiach and on the threshold of the Geulah, and after Melech HaMoshiach has already been revealed, sent forth, and begun his work to redeem the Jewish people completely. At present, we are in a state of Moshiach’s concealment, on the way to the complete victory of the true and complete Geulah and the complete revelation of the Rebbe shlita, Melech HaMoshiach, in the Geulah. Now is the time to get a small example, a taste of an event that can be compared to Moshiach’s concealment: the events of Shemini Atzeres 5738, when all the chassidim experienced concealment, the great concealment of the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, followed by the special revelation on Rosh Chodesh Kislev, when the Rebbe appeared and came out to the crowd. To understand and feel those extraordinary moments—the difficult moments of contraction and concealment on Shemini Atzeres 5738, followed by the extraordinary moments of revelation when the Rebbe came out to the crowd—we’ll speak with Rabbi Dovid Notik, one of the Temimim who was at 770 in those years. He was there in 770 during the events of Shemini Atzeres 5738 and later, on Rosh Chodesh Kislev, when the Rebbe came out to the crowd. We’ll talk with Rabbi Notik about those special moments. We begin the program now with Rabbi Notik. So now we begin this episode of Ears

02:59 Speaker 2 to Hear, number ten, with Rabbi Notik. Shalom aleichem, Rabbi Notik.

03:04 Speaker 1 Shalom, shalom uverachah, and greetings to all the dear Temimim.

03:10 Speaker 2 L’chaim, l’chaim.

03:11 Speaker 1 L’chaim.

03:12 Speaker 2 L’chaim, and may He be blessed.

03:13 Speaker 1 Long live our master.

03:15 Speaker 2 Long live the King. We’re speaking now about a very interesting program: Rosh Chodesh Kislev 5738 and the events from Shemini Atzeres to Rosh Chodesh Kislev. In a way, they offer a small example of the concealment we’re experiencing today as well. As we talk about what happened then—the contraction on Shemini Atzeres, the period between that contraction and the revelation, and the revelation on Rosh Chodesh Kislev—perhaps we can draw strength from that example and get some sense of how this state of contraction leads to revelation. The moments of concealment in which the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, is now found are also for the sake of the complete revelation in the true and complete Geulah. To understand this, we’d first like to speak with Rabbi Notik about these essential matters. We’ll begin, of course, with the contraction. The more we discuss it, the better we’ll understand the great joy of the revelation. So first, let’s talk about Shemini Atzeres 5738. What I’d like to hear first is whether you and the other Temimim knew something was going to happen. Had people already been talking about it? Was there any sense of anticipation, any rumors or particular talk that the Rebbe was in a different condition? Or was everything as usual, and then it happened suddenly, completely out of the blue?

04:42 Speaker 3 I’ll say a few words. Boruch Hashem, I merited to be there. I was at 770 and saw it all—what I would call the moment of revelation. But to understand the revelation, there first had to be the contraction. It’s like what we do in the Pesach Haggadah: we begin with the lowly part and then tell of the revelation that Hakadosh Boruch Hu brought us. It’s the same when we tell the story of the Alter Rebbe and 19 Kislev. We tell what happened so we can understand how great the revelation was. We need to understand the depth of the contraction we were in, and then we can better understand the revelation and the difference between light and darkness—the advantage of light that comes from darkness. So we do need to begin by talking about the contraction, about what happened on Shemini Atzeres. But we won’t dwell on it, because our subject now is the revelation. In any case, I and all the Temimim and Anash were at 770. As for whether we noticed anything, I personally didn’t.

06:14 Speaker 2 At the time, you were a bochur in the upstairs gallery.

06:17 Speaker 3 I was upstairs, and I was also at 770 for the distribution of lekach that day.

06:29 Speaker 2 For the lekach?

06:30 Speaker 3 For the lekach. And I remember an episode, if I’m not mixing things up. Someone came to get a piece of lekach—a somewhat unusual person, let’s say; never mind. I remember he asked the Rebbe for something, and the Rebbe brought him even closer. I remember the Rebbe worked very hard that day. That I remember. I just remember that...

06:56 Speaker 2 You noticed that the Rebbe stood for many hours and...

06:59 Speaker 3 For many hours. He also went out to the sukkah, and it was really quite astonishing. I saw that it was already very late and the Rebbe still hadn’t gone home. Morning was coming, and he hadn’t gone home to eat, but...

07:18 Speaker 2 You didn’t imagine that this was going to happen.

07:19 Speaker 3 We didn’t imagine it. It was another thing that amazed us. As I’ve said before, I personally never thought there could be a problem for the Rebbe, because the Rebbe is beyond human limitations and the Rebbe can do it. These were superhuman powers in the literal sense. The Rebbe exerted himself and worked for hours, day after day, especially on that day itself. There had been the night of Simchas Torah, and then the Rebbe distributed lekach, which took hours. The Rebbe didn’t go home; he simply fasted all day, and afterward he went out and came back. It was extraordinary, even compared with everything the Rebbe was always doing. We did think about how much he was doing that day, but we didn’t pay it much attention.

08:27 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

08:28 Speaker 3 Because it looked almost normal: the Rebbe did things like that day in and day out. But this was somewhat beyond the usual.

08:35 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

08:35 Speaker 3 That day, the Rebbe exerted himself more. Though afterward we heard that the Rebbetzin had given a warning. My cousin Mendel Notik was there on Shabbos. Incidentally, his name is Mendel Notik, but in the Rebbe’s home they called him Notik.

08:59 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

09:00 Speaker 3 Because the Rebbetzin once said that in their home they don’t say that name.

09:04 Speaker 4 Wow. So they didn’t say “Mendel” in the home.

09:07 Speaker 3 Someone said it once, and the Rebbetzin immediately corrected him: they don’t say it. [unclear] That was his first name, but they called him by his surname.

09:22 Speaker 4 So the Rebbetzin passed a message to him about the Rebbe’s health, but this wasn’t widely known among the chassidim. It was something kept private among the...

09:31 Speaker 3 It was already known that [unclear], the hakafos should be short, and that the Rebbe had a small Sefer Torah [unclear].

09:40 Speaker 4 Right, but you didn’t know much about that.

09:42 Speaker 3 I really didn’t know about it that day.

09:43 Speaker 4 So from there, we move on to preparing for davening with the Rebbe. On Shemini Atzeres, the shul was full, and you found yourself a place. Did you have a particular spot then, or...?

09:55 Speaker 3 There were the tiered platforms, somewhat like what you see today, though a little different, and I stood on one of them.

10:06 Speaker 4 And you had a good view of the Rebbe.

10:10 Speaker 3 Yes. I could see the Rebbe standing on his platform, and also when he went over to the dancing platform, the hakafos platform.

10:18 Speaker 4 So you were relatively central, between the Rebbe’s platform and the platform for the...

10:22 Speaker 3 Yes.

10:22 Speaker 4 Hakafos.

10:22 Speaker 3 I was in the middle, and I could see.

10:27 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm. So did hakafos begin completely as usual, or could you already see some change at the start, perhaps that things were moving faster?

10:37 Speaker 3 No, at the beginning, I’d say I didn’t notice a difference.

10:44 Speaker 4 Because people say it did move relatively quickly.

10:46 Speaker 3 Some sharp-eyed people noticed. I didn’t really pay attention to it. Right afterward, nobody expected anything, and I said, yes, people say it really was a little faster, but the hakafos varied from year to year—sometimes more, sometimes less.

11:03 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

11:03 Speaker 3 So it wasn’t anything special, anything out of the ordinary.

11:06 Speaker 4 If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t notice, and they didn’t want people to notice.

11:12 Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

11:12 Speaker 4 And actually, at first I didn’t notice, until—until it happened.

11:19 Speaker 3 Until it happened.

11:20 Speaker 4 So during the first, second, and even third hakafah, things were still all right.

11:25 Speaker 3 Yes, things were all right. We didn’t notice. No, I didn’t notice that the Rebbe wasn’t feeling well.

11:31 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm. It was joyous, and the Rebbe was encouraging everyone.

11:34 Speaker 3 It was joyous, and the Rebbe was as he always was. Sometimes the Rebbe encouraged everyone more, sometimes less. Clearly, the Rebbe was encouraging them somewhat. He wanted to encourage them a lot, but it was a little difficult. Still, the Rebbe worked very hard, and even though the Rebbe has extraordinary strength, that was until—

11:54 Speaker 4 Until the fourth hakafah.

11:56 Speaker 3 Until the fourth hakafah, exactly, and then—

11:58 Speaker 4 Then they sang the niggun “Al Hasela Hach” [?], as has been described.

12:03 Speaker 3 Yes. I can assure you that to this day I don’t remember the niggun, but those who wrote it down at the time do. Then people in the crowd started shouting, “Aroys, aroys”—get out quickly. I was farther inside and couldn’t get out. I tried to find a way through, but by the time I did, I saw that things had already been organized, so I said, I’ll stay. You can’t leave the Rebbe alone.

12:38 Speaker 4 Did you realize what was happening from the chassidim shouting, or did you notice that the Rebbe was pale or something like that, or that the Rebbe was clapping differently? What—

12:49 Speaker 3 I wasn’t standing close enough to—

12:51 Speaker 4 To notice.

12:52 Speaker 3 To notice that... But when the Rebbe sat down and they started shouting—

13:00 Speaker 4 But you did see the Rebbe sit down.

13:01 Speaker 3 Yes, yes, I did.

13:03 Speaker 4 And that was strange. Suddenly the Rebbe sat down in the middle of the hakafah.

13:05 Speaker 3 The Rebbe sat down in the middle of the hakafah, as if he was asking to sit. He sort of sat down, almost dropped a little into the seat. He sat down quickly.

13:16 Speaker 4 What gave you the courage to stay inside when everyone else was going out?

13:22 Speaker 3 It was a practical matter. At first—in the first minute, it was a practical matter. Then they broke open all the windows with help from people on Kingston, because the bochurim immediately jumped through the windows. They broke through the plastic and jumped out that way. People were close to the other side. Suddenly I felt there was no longer a problem with the heat or the air. It actually became cool. The air conditioners were running very strongly, but with a large crowd, it’s still hot.

13:56 Speaker 4 Didn’t anyone tell you to leave?

13:58 Speaker 3 No, no.

13:58 Speaker 4 Didn’t someone from the organizing committee come and—

14:00 Speaker 3 No, no, no.

14:01 Speaker 4 [unclear].

14:01 Speaker 3 No, no, no, there wasn’t. It’s just that everyone started leaving within a minute, and I stayed inside. Then there were a few hakafos that were very subdued and brief, and all of that was written up afterward.

14:20 Speaker 4 It’s interesting to distinguish between the hakafos afterward, which were of course shorter, with less encouragement from the Rebbe. As for the seventh hakafah, that’s the Rebbe’s hakafah. As I understand it, they suggested that the Rebbe do the hakafah around the Rebbe’s platform. The Rebbe didn’t agree, and afterward he went to the hakafos platform.

14:38 Speaker 3 Yes.

14:39 Speaker 4 What did that look like from where you were? Was the Rebbe encouraging everyone? Did the Rebbe look as usual? What was happening at those moments?

14:49 Speaker 3 Generally speaking, the thing is—how can I put it? None of us thought the Rebbe had had a heart attack. It never occurred to us.

14:58 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

15:00 Speaker 3 The Rebbe wasn’t feeling well. The Rebbe was very tired, wasn’t feeling well, and felt he needed to rest. So things had to be a little more restrained. But the Rebbe was always encouraging everyone, with all the strength and willpower he had. It was as though the Rebbe was making an effort because he wanted everything to be as usual.

15:27 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

15:28 Speaker 3 And the Rebbe wanted to walk as usual. But usually the Rebbe would dance with the Rashag, and you could see the Rebbe dancing vigorously while the Rashag lifted his head and tried to catch his breath, just wanting to sit down, and the Rebbe held him as though—

15:46 Speaker 4 Do you remember that from previous years?

15:47 Speaker 3 From previous years, before this—

15:49 Speaker 4 You were there for this from 5734, then.

15:51 Speaker 3 Yes. In 5734, ’35, ’36, and ’37. You always saw the Rebbe dancing with tremendous energy, and the Rashag—

16:00 Speaker 4 Could...

16:01 Speaker 3 Yes, and at the end the Rebbe would always put his right hand on the Rashag’s shoulder, shoulder to shoulder, as they danced. It looked to me as though the Rebbe was holding him up so he wouldn’t fall after so much dancing. The Rebbe wasn’t merely resting his hand on him; he was supporting him with it.

16:22 Speaker 4 That’s how it looked, yes.

16:23 Speaker 3 But here, someone apparently said something to him on the way—maybe that the Rebbe wasn’t feeling well, or something. And he himself was an astute man. So he went around a few times, three or four rounds, and stopped. The Rebbe smiled, and that was it.

16:44 Speaker 4 And he went back.

16:46 Speaker 3 And he went back. Then they did what was needed to finish—Aleinu and Kaddish—and the Rebbe returned to his room. The Rebbe returned to his room.

16:57 Speaker 4 That’s really interesting. The Rebbe returns to his room, and thousands of chassidim are already standing outside, having come out of 770. What happens in those moments? Do people stay in 770 outside the Rebbe’s room? Can you even go eat? What was the atmosphere? Was there a difference between the Temimim and the other members of the community? What exactly happened there?

17:17 Speaker 3 You could say it was mostly the Temimim, the overwhelming majority. I was there, and I saw a huge crowd remaining outside, standing opposite the Rebbe’s window. The ushers who always came from the institution told people to move back so they wouldn’t be seen. Later they moved us even farther away. We kept seeing doctors arrive, cars arrive, people going in and out, and we kept trying to guess what was happening. And then they brought in the—you saw that it was written about. They actually brought in a stretcher. That was really...

18:01 Speaker 4 You saw them bring it in?

18:02 Speaker 3 Yes. I saw them bring it in. Hatzolah arrived and they brought in a stretcher. Our hearts just sank, until they reassured us that it wasn’t for the Rebbe; a child had fallen there. Yes, I do remember that.

18:21 Speaker 4 But did you feel that you couldn’t leave, or did you think that, after all, it wasn’t anything so serious, since the news hadn’t yet gotten out? What actually happened? Is that why you were willing to stay, rather than going to eat?

18:35 Speaker 3 In the ordinary course of things, in previous years, many bochurim—not all of them—would stay outside after hakafos and wait for the Rebbe to leave, and only then would they go. This time, at first we waited like that, without even knowing how serious it was. I initially thought I might wait, but that lasted only a very short time. We began to understand in the first few minutes. From the commotion around us, within just a few minutes—one, two, three—we understood that it was much more serious. Right away a rumor spread that the Rebbe had apparently had a heart attack. In any case, many people stayed there for a long time, each thinking about what to do. Of course, everyone davened. Some said, no, the Rebbe wants people to be joyous. Then Leibel Groner came out and conveyed that the Rebbe wanted people to be joyous afterward.

20:04 Speaker 4 Did you go out and dance? Or was the burden so heavy that eating wasn’t even an option?

20:10 Speaker 3 It wasn’t. I don’t know what happened then inside 770, because I was outside, opposite the window.

20:16 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

20:17 Speaker 3 There were people in both places, not just one. I understand that there were some people in 770 who hadn’t yet finished hakafos. They came back, because they felt very strongly that you can’t simply not do hakafos, so they did the...

20:34 Speaker 4 So they finished the hakafos joyfully.

20:35 Speaker 3 There are always different people in a crowd, each with his own approach. But generally, among the Temimim, there was tremendous tension and pain. The uncertainty—when you don’t know what’s happening—is the most distressing thing.

20:58 Speaker 4 Really, not knowing.

21:00 Speaker 3 Yes, and we didn’t know what was happening inside.

21:05 Speaker 4 So I’d like to steer the conversation a little. We’ve spoken in such detail about the concealment that began for the Rebbe on Shemini Atzeres 5738. Before we discuss the period between concealment and revelation—essentially the whole month of Cheshvan 5738—there was already a certain sign of revelation on the night after Simchas Torah, when Leibel conveyed the Rebbe’s message that the Rebbe would deliver a sicha to the chassidim at a farbrengen through the microphone. What did that news—that the Rebbe would speak and take part in the farbrengen in this way—mean to you at that moment, on the night after Simchas Torah?

22:18 Speaker 3 It was truly one of the most wonderful moments of my life, and to this day I remember it so vividly. I’m not usually someone who gets carried away with emotion, but it was impossible to stay calm. I was jumping for joy. We really couldn’t believe there was going to be a sicha from the Rebbe. At first there was some tension. They said that after Havdalah there would be an announcement. Everyone was on edge: an announcement? Was it going to be something dramatic? There was such anticipation. We never imagined it would be this.

23:01 Speaker 4 You didn’t even know whether the announcement would be good news or not.

23:03 Speaker 3 No, we didn’t think it would be good news, but perhaps something...

23:07 Speaker 4 That the situation was improving.

23:08 Speaker 3 Yes.

23:09 Speaker 4 Not an actual sicha.

23:10 Speaker 3 Not that much. No, we never imagined it would be a sicha. And then, for us, it came, and it was...

23:15 Speaker 4 What did you feel in those first moments when the microphone came on and the Rebbe said his first words through it? You were standing there in 770 as a chossid, hearing the Rebbe’s voice after what had happened. Can you take us into the depths of your heart at that moment?

23:34 Speaker 3 It was: the Rebbe is alive and with us. It was simply that the Rebbe is alive and with us. We weren’t seeing him, but we were hearing him. You could say it was hearing that was like seeing. We say that seeing is not the same as hearing. That means hearing something from a witness as opposed to having seen it myself.

23:55 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

23:55 Speaker 3 If I’ve seen it myself, I’ve experienced it. Here, hearing was like seeing.

23:59 Speaker 4 Seeing what you hear.

24:00 Speaker 3 Because I heard the Rebbe. It wasn’t that I heard it from someone who had heard the Rebbe.

24:05 Speaker 4 Mm-hmm.

24:05 Speaker 3 I heard the Rebbe.

24:06 Speaker 4 Wow.

24:07 Speaker 3 So that was seeing. In essence, it was seeing. After such concealment, to see the Rebbe—to see with your ears, to see with your soul—it was deeply moving. Every time I remember it, it moves me to this day, very, very powerfully.

24:33 Speaker 4 Wow. L’chaim, l’chaim.

24:50 Speaker 3 L’chaim.

24:51 Speaker 4 And l’chaim to those special feelings, of course. Even today, you can hear on the recording the Rebbe’s distinctive voice at the beginning of the sicha, and the Rebbe’s gentle speech at the end, mingled with a particular kind of weeping. There was extraordinary emotion there.

25:13 Speaker 3 Emotion—and the crowd was truly remarkable. I don’t know; I have no words to describe it. Everyone tried to catch every word. And listen to this: in a certain sense, on Simchas Torah there had always been—

25:30 Speaker 4 Noise.

25:31 Speaker 3 No, you could barely hear. There was no loudspeaker. It was hard to hear, unlike then, when you could hear every single word. But of course, no one cared about that at the time. Hear or not hear—the main thing was that we had the Rebbe.

25:56 Speaker 4 It really is moving and stirring to hear this and, of course, to feel what you felt then. Do you want to add something?

26:08 Speaker 3 I want to add something that connects a little more to our own time. On Simchas Torah, someone kept coming down to the lobby and saying that the Rebbe wanted nothing to change and wanted everyone to be joyous. The Rebbe also said there should be a farbrengen after Yom Tov. And what were the chassidim singing then? What were they singing constantly? “Der Rebbe zol zayn gezunt”—may the Rebbe be healthy. At first it was “Der Rebbe zol zayn gezunt.” I think that’s what they kept singing. That was all you heard. Later they began singing, “Der Rebbe iz gezunt”—the Rebbe is healthy.

26:57 Speaker 4 In the confident hope that this was truly what was going to happen.

27:00 Speaker 3 At first they sang about what would be—if we put it in Hebrew, “May the Rebbe be healthy,” and so it would be. “Together we will prevail,” in today’s slang. That was the feeling. Then some time passed, and they began singing, “Der Rebbe iz gezunt.”

27:18 Speaker 4 Do you remember who made that change, or did it happen naturally, with the Temimim all making the change together?

27:24 Speaker 3 I don’t remember, but within a few hours it changed. By the end of Simchas Torah—and throughout that whole period, not only on Simchas Torah—it was constant. At every davening, all the time in yeshiva, at farbrengens: “Der Rebbe iz gezunt.” That was it. And it reminds me very much of our own time. At first it was, “Here comes Moshiach,” again and again—“What are you seeing?” Then it became more definite: simply, “Yechi Adoneinu Moreinu Verabeinu Melech HaMoshiach.” It was no longer “soon.”

28:05 Speaker 4 It reached its peak.

28:06 Speaker 3 It was along the same lines as what happened then.

28:11 Speaker 4 Stating it as a fact.

28:12 Speaker 3 Yes, stating it as a fact. That’s how it is. The proclamation of “Yechi HaMelech” is already the affirmation of the king. The Rebbe spoke about this on Beis Nissan [?]: when you proclaim the king, you add life, and when Melech HaMoshiach is revealed, what will everyone shout? “Yechi HaMelech!” That is the coronation. It’s simply—

28:35 Speaker 4 That’s an example of what happened then. People recount that the Rebbe very much enjoyed the singing in 770 at the time.

28:40 Speaker 3 Right.

28:40 Speaker 4 One of the doctors said that the Rebbe got out of bed and said, “That’s geshmak music.” The Rebbe very much enjoyed the—

28:46 Speaker 3 When the doctors asked the Rebbe whether the noise might affect his heart, it was the opposite—

28:51 Speaker 4 It was precisely the chassidim singing like that—

28:53 Speaker 3 Yes, he very much... the Rebbe, the Rebbe—

28:56 Speaker 4 Enjoyed it.

28:57 Speaker 3 Enjoyed it. We received that news too. They even said that at one point the Rebbe came out to listen, that the Rebbe wanted to hear it. So the singing grew louder—the Rebbe wanted to hear it.

29:12 Speaker 4 Wow.

29:13 Speaker 3 Just as the Rebbe wanted to hear “Yechi Adoneinu”—

29:15 Speaker 4 “Yechi Adoneinu.”

29:16 Speaker 3 The Rebbe came out onto the balcony to hear the chassidim.

29:20 Speaker 4 We certainly want to discuss that later in the program. But it’s very interesting to focus on this point now. We’ve spoken about the concealment on Shemini Atzeres 5738 and the beginning of the revelation. Hearing the Rebbe’s sichos and maamarim through the microphone in such a special way could be called a revelation. But ultimately it was still a period of some concealment. The Rebbe was not with the chassidim. What interests us is something that isn’t written about much in the diaries, isn’t described in the account of Rosh Chodesh Kislev, and isn’t discussed very often. We want to talk about that period—what we might call the forty days when Moshe Rabbeinu was inside the cloud. From Shemini Atzeres 5738 until Rosh Chodesh Kislev, you Temimim were sitting in 770, learning, davening, doing mivtzoim. What was the atmosphere then? What did it feel like? It’s a powerful parallel to our own situation: we are living through concealment while working toward the complete revelation. Were you certain you were on the way to that revelation, that this would end at any moment and the Rebbe would recover and appear as usual?

30:27 Speaker 3 The first thing I should say is that I wasn’t in 770 then. I was studying in Boro Park and would come over. I tried to come as often as possible.

30:41 Speaker 4 You visited every day.

30:43 Speaker 3 Every day, or sometimes they wouldn’t let us. At most it would be two days between visits; we were there all the time. Of course there was fear then. We were afraid of what might happen. Boruch Hashem, throughout that period we kept seeing improvement. But we had heard that the Rebbe had suffered a heart attack. We knew that after a heart attack, a person doesn’t simply return to how things were. Even the Rebbe didn’t say a word. After a heart attack, something remains. People talked about it, and for all our faith and hope, there was a sense that the Rebbe would now be weaker, that the Rebbe’s leadership would continue in a more limited way.

31:50 Speaker 4 Limited because of the heart.

31:51 Speaker 3 Limited, yes. Because now the Rebbe had reached a point where he couldn’t do what he had done before. But the great surprise was that the exact opposite happened. We knew what the Rebbe had said: when there’s a lack, a vacuum—as they say in English—that empty space has significance. When the Rebbe spoke about it in maamarim and drew out its practical implications, that lack took on another meaning. The Rebbe didn’t just tell the chassidim that this is how it would be. The Rebbe himself showed it. We saw it then, and we still see it today in the sichos, the maamarim, the edited texts, and the number of sichos before and after 5738. There’s simply no comparison. There were many, many more after 5738. It was an enormous surprise. You would have thought there should have been far more before 5738, when the Rebbe had not yet been so weakened. But the Rebbe began holding farbrengens much more often. Even though for a long period the Rebbe spoke through a microphone, there was so much material—many, many more sichos.

33:14 Speaker 5 And the sichos were edited.

33:15 Speaker 3 And edited. As for yechidus, it increasingly became a general yechidus.

33:25 Speaker 5 Individual yechidus became less frequent.

33:25 Speaker 3 Yechidus became less frequent.

33:27 Speaker 5 More so.

33:28 Speaker 3 But the Rebbe said there was no shortcoming in this at all. On the contrary, it was even greater. You could say that the revelation was incomparably greater, something like the difference between before Petersburg and after Petersburg. We’re in Kislev now: before Petersburg and after Petersburg simply cannot be compared. When you look at it, you see what came after Petersburg.

33:52 Speaker 5 That’s when you look back on it, taking an overview after the fact. I wonder whether, during that month, as Temimim living through those difficult moments of concealment, you already felt there was some path toward a greater revelation, or whether at the time things were...

34:12 Speaker 3 It was different. Back then, every single moment brought excitement. Every sicha, every moment, every little thing. Oh, the Rebbe had also come out—

34:24 Speaker 5 To speak.

34:24 Speaker 3 The Rebbe had come out. There hadn’t been very much, and suddenly the Rebbe—every little thing was truly like cold water to a weary soul. More and more. It was something. There was tremendous excitement.

34:44 Speaker 5 So, from what you’re describing, if I understand correctly, although during that period the Rebbe wasn’t physically there among the chassidim and so on, what inspired hope, encouragement and confidence was that the Rebbe kept sending out the sichos and maamarim, as if to say, “I’m here”—and with even greater strength and vigor. That’s what gave you that hope and encouragement.

35:06 Speaker 3 Yes, yes, it did, very much. There was still the feeling that, after all, the Rebbe had been ill. But each time there was another moment of excitement. And it wasn’t just that month; it continued for a long time. You can look at the exact times when the Rebbe would speak from his room. Then, suddenly, the Rebbe came downstairs for the first time and people saw him. Then there was the 19 Kislev farbrengen, and afterward there was [unclear]. Each time, it wasn’t something ordinary. It felt beyond the natural order. Every time the Rebbe came, it was a revelation. That’s how it felt.

35:56 Speaker 5 What’s changing in my thinking, at least, is that during that intervening month there wasn’t, so to speak, a sense of sorrow or any kind of mourning, G-d forbid. Because there were revelations even then, it was like a path toward the complete revelation. You can’t say there was no sorrow. You can’t. There was sorrow, and there were feelings of sorrow and fear; we didn’t know what would happen afterward. But it was mixed together, in the feeling—

36:35 Speaker 6 [unclear], as though speaking about Moshiach Tzidkeinu with joy, as though speaking about Moshiach Tzidkeinu.

36:38 Speaker 5 Yes, yes. There was this constant anticipation: When would he come back already? And every revelation was a revelation in its own right.

36:47 Speaker 6 Since we’ve started talking about the revelation, perhaps we can move on to the special moment of revelation on Rosh Chodesh Kislev itself. At that point, did you know it was going to happen?

36:59 Speaker 5 Rumors began circulating that morning—or perhaps the day before, I don’t remember. In any case, rumors always spread by word of mouth. The people who hear first try to keep it quiet and not tell anyone, but in the end it gets out. [unclear]. Anyway, eventually everyone knew, and an enormous crowd gathered outside 770.

37:26 Speaker 6 And at seven-thirty that evening, you were at the Rebbe’s room.

37:29 Speaker 5 Yes, everyone was standing there, waiting and singing. Are you asking which niggun? I don’t remember.

37:36 Speaker 6 Right, that doesn’t matter. What matters is how it felt at that moment.

37:40 Speaker 5 Yes.

37:40 Speaker 6 But the time before the Rebbe came out is also very interesting. Before you describe that special moment when he came out, those moments of waiting are especially interesting because they give us a glimpse of our own time, as we wait and anticipate the actual revelation of the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach shlita. It offers a kind of example: you’re standing there—

38:04 Speaker 5 It is an example, but you could also say it makes things a little harder. We have to make a greater effort not to forget and, so to speak, not to grow complacent. The first time something happens, it’s the first revelation. Now our work is harder because it’s taking so long. On the one hand, we still have faith and hope. On the other hand, you can’t say there’s no pain now, too. We want the Rebbe to be revealed, and if someone feels no pain over that, it’s a problem. There are sichos in which the Rebbe says that a Jew must be—

38:51 Speaker 6 Shaken up.

38:51 Speaker 5 Shaken up by the fact that Moshiach has not yet come, that the Rebbe has not been revealed. But on the other hand, the Rebbe doesn’t want us to lose heart. We need to know that we are in galus. At the same time, we need to know that Moshiach is coming very soon. We must recognize the situation as it truly is, without thinking we are already in the Geulah.

39:20 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

39:20 Speaker 5 We already have many revelations and everything, but it’s not yet the real thing.

39:26 Speaker 6 Exactly. You see it in the Rebbe’s sichos from 5752. After the Rebbe had taught us all these new things—that Moshiach had been revealed and sent, and was even already carrying out his work in the world, and so on—in a sicha just a few days before [unclear], the Rebbe practically cries out, “Only the true and complete Geulah,” and calls for action. In other words, despite all the revelations, despite the fact that the Geulah is already here and we are now in the days of Moshiach, in practice the complete revelation has not yet happened. That is what gives us this longing.

39:53 Speaker 5 Like the publication of the Torah laws, that it’s the coming of the—this is the Geulah—the coming of Moshiach, but we want Moshiach in—

40:01 Speaker 6 The plain, literal sense.

40:02 Speaker 5 The plain, literal sense. Simply like on 19 Kislev, when the Rebbe came out. We want to see the Rebbe. That’s what we want.

40:08 Speaker 6 So let’s focus on that point for a moment. You’re standing outside 770, hoping, singing and watching. You’re in a spot where you can see the entrance to 770.

40:18 Speaker 5 Yes. The door opened, and the Rebbe came out in all his glory.

40:22 Speaker 6 The Rebbe was physically standing and moving in the usual way?

40:25 Speaker 5 Physically, yes. The Rebbe made a real effort.

40:29 Speaker 6 What—

40:29 Speaker 5 Yes, he came out quite quickly, with the secretaries beside him. As he went by, he made several motions with his hand to encourage the singing.

40:43 Speaker 6 That lasted about twenty seconds, didn’t it?

40:45 Speaker 5 More than twenty seconds. Just the walk from 770 to the car takes more than twenty seconds, and the Rebbe walked a little—

40:53 Speaker 6 More slowly.

40:54 Speaker 5 More slowly. Not slowly out of weakness.

40:57 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

40:58 Speaker 5 It was as though he was taking the time to encourage the singing.

41:02 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

41:03 Speaker 5 As though—

41:03 Speaker 6 What did it feel like at that moment, when the Rebbe came out of 770?

41:08 Speaker 5 What? Everyone can understand how it felt. If you try to describe it—just to describe it—

41:11 Speaker 6 Everyone can understand and everyone can feel it. You felt it yourself at that moment.

41:15 Speaker 5 It’s very, very hard to put into words the immense joy of finally, simply, seeing the Rebbe. The Rebbe had come out to the library a few days earlier, but I hadn’t seen him then. It was very private; only a handful of people saw him. But this time I saw the Rebbe, as did most of the crowd. Many people had even come from far away because they knew the Rebbe was going to appear, that he was going to come out. I want to add something I’ve thought about regarding 19 Kislev. It differs somewhat from the other festivals and special days. The difference is something very practical, [unclear]. All the festivals are a matter of hashgachah pratis, and so is 19 Kislev. It was the courts that decided when to release the Alter Rebbe, and that happened on 19 Kislev. It was all hashgachah pratis from Above. It came down into the world, into practical reality. And so it was with 19 Kislev and the Mitteler Rebbe, and with all—

42:42 Speaker 6 [unclear].

42:42 Speaker 5 [unclear]. All the earlier occasions were things that happened, but they came from Above. That was how they turned out, as the saying goes: everything in its time. But on Rosh Chodesh Kislev, in the physical sense, the person who decided to come out on that day was not the doctors. The Rebbe wasn’t under the doctors’ control: he was in his own room, not hospitalized, and the Rebbe himself controlled everything in the most practical, physical sense. No faith is needed to see that. You can see that the Rebbe himself chose that day to come out. He could have come out a day or two earlier. It wasn’t that he suddenly decided at precisely that moment. He could also have stayed and rested another day or two. The Rebbe chose that day, Rosh Chodesh Kislev. That’s something—

43:37 Speaker 6 The Rebbe’s own choice of that day.

43:39 Speaker 5 Yes, the Rebbe himself chose that day.

43:46 Speaker 6 Interesting.

43:46 Speaker 5 For many years I’ve wondered why the Rebbe chose that day. There’s something to it... I always thought that, first of all, the Rebbe wanted there to be no question about saying Tachanun. And more than that, the Rebbe wanted it to be a day on which we say Hallel and—

44:05 Speaker 6 There’s—

44:07 Speaker 5 Yes, the Rebbe—on a day when Hallel is recited, and there’s no debate about whether to say it or not. Simply put, the Rebbe chose this day. And it’s also a day that isn’t a Yom Tov. Rosh Chodesh isn’t a Yom Tov. It isn’t called a day of rejoicing, but Hallel is recited on it—not because of rejoicing, and there’s a great deal about that in halachah. Why is Hallel recited at all? So why did he choose this day? That’s another question. But why Rosh Chodesh Kislev specifically? The Rebbe explains in many places that Kislev is the Chassidic month. It’s the month of Chassidus, of the inner dimension of Torah. Just as Sivan is the third month, this is the third month of winter. These are familiar ideas, and this is the Rosh Hashanah of the 613 [unclear]. Then the Rebbe speaks about 19 Kislev, 9 Kislev—19 Kislev as the time when the teachings of Chassidus were revealed out in the streets, truly outward, and all these things. What is all that revelation for? It’s all for “your wellsprings shall spread outward.” That is the whole point. The spreading began on 19 Kislev, and afterward there was the spreading out into the streets; 9 Kislev, 19 Kislev of the Maggid of Mezritch. But the head of it all, its ultimate purpose, is Rosh Chodesh Kislev. The ultimate purpose is the revelation that comes with the arrival of Moshiach. So here we have the idea that “their beginning is bound up with their end, and their end with their beginning.” The head—Rosh Chodesh—as is explained in various places in connection with Rosh Hashanah, is not merely the beginning of the month or the beginning of the year. It is the head, because it encompasses the whole month. It contains everything: all the revelations of Kislev are contained in Rosh Chodesh Kislev.

46:27 Speaker 6 All the qualities of the month, the Geulah—everything depends on and is contained in Rosh Chodesh Kislev.

46:32 Speaker 5 And that’s simply how it is in the physical world, in the order of events. Granted, 19 Kislev had happened earlier, in previous years, and 9 Kislev had happened earlier. But ultimately, even though this came at the end, its end is bound up with its beginning. It’s Rosh Chodesh that gives strength to—and is the head of—all the special days of Kislev.

47:02 Speaker 6 That also explains what you said earlier: that this brought a new momentum to everything connected with Chassidus afterward, and with Moshiach.

47:07 Speaker 5 All that momentum, all of it—we can see it. It’s a very, very central day, the head of all the special days of Kislev. It all begins with Rosh Chodesh.

47:21 Speaker 6 What you’re saying is really interesting, because if we jump ahead a few years to 5753, then, among all the times the Rebbe encouraged the chanting of “Yechi” throughout 5753 and the beginning of 5754, you could say—at least from what’s described in the diaries, and from what we discussed last week—that the Rebbe’s most extraordinary encouragement of the public expression of “Yechi Adoneinu” was on Rosh Chodesh Kislev 5753. That connects with what you’re saying about the revelation on Rosh Chodesh Kislev 5738: it’s the head that reveals the whole thing.

47:51 Speaker 5 Yes, that was the great revelation. Actually, the first time the Rebbe encouraged “Yechi” was on Sukkos.

47:58 Speaker 6 You were there for the first encouragement of “Yechi.”

48:00 Speaker 5 I was there for the first one. On Rosh Chodesh [unclear], I wasn’t there. I was at the army base, but later—

48:06 Speaker 6 I arrived for Tishrei 5753.

48:07 Speaker 5 I arrived for Sukkos. No, not for 15 Tishrei. I arrived during Sukkos, and that was just when “Yechi” was expressed for the first time.

48:17 Speaker 6 That was—

48:17 Speaker 5 That was also a very great revelation, because until then there had been some concern about whether it might harm the Rebbe’s health. Perhaps the Rebbe really didn’t want it.

48:34 Speaker 6 Perhaps the Rebbe wouldn’t want “Yechi.”

48:36 Speaker 5 Perhaps the Rebbe wouldn’t want it, and many people were saying not to do it. There was a lot of discussion about it.

48:43 Speaker 6 Do you remember, when you arrived at 770, was there talk and excitement about this question—whether to say “Yechi” or not?

48:49 Speaker 5 Not when I arrived. Even before I arrived.

48:51 Speaker 6 Mm-hmm.

48:52 Speaker 5 We were here in Tzfas, and there were a lot of questions then, even arguments: that it was forbidden, that it went against the Rebbe, and so on.

49:04 Speaker 6 Because in the period between 27 Adar and the public expression of “Yechi,” people had already begun talking a little about “Yechi.”

49:11 Speaker 5 It had begun a little. But to say “Yechi” in front of the Rebbe, where the Rebbe could hear it—that was different. In earlier years there had been an occasion when the Rebbe cried. The Rebbe hadn’t wanted people to say that he was Moshiach. Those were the concerns. It began somewhat hesitantly, but when the Rebbe encouraged it with his hands, all the questions fell away.

49:35 Speaker 6 Do you remember those moments?

49:36 Speaker 5 Yes, I remember.

49:37 Speaker 6 What was new about it for you? Did you feel the...

49:39 Speaker 5 Yes, yes.

49:40 Speaker 6 Was there something special that happened?

49:41 Speaker 5 Yes. I can say that in all those years, that was the only time when, in the middle of it, the crowding became so intense that I felt unwell and thought I was going to faint. That was the only time, in 5753, when the Rebbe encouraged “Yechi,” and I was standing—

49:59 Speaker 6 Physical pressure.

50:00 Speaker 5 Physical pressure, yes. Physical. I was standing beneath the balcony, and if you stand beneath it, you can’t see. You have to move back a little. I wasn’t in the front row; I was in the second or third. The people at the very front were pressing back hard, so they simply got me out. But within half a minute I recovered and went straight back. I was there for the whole “Yechi” except for that half-minute.

50:30 Speaker 6 So, really, as a student who was at 770—

50:33 Speaker 5 No, I was never a student.

50:34 Speaker 6 No, I mean that you had spent twelve years at 770, from 5734 to 5746, and then you came back to the Rebbe in 5753 for “Yechi Adoneinu.” That’s an enormous change. Did you feel how new it was?

50:49 Speaker 5 Yes, I did. It’s not that I hadn’t been with the Rebbe. Even when I was far away, I was still with the Rebbe, and I traveled there for Tishrei. I went many times, almost every year. There were years when I missed it, but generally I went for Tishrei. So it wasn’t that I had come back. What was new was that the Rebbe was encouraging “Yechi.” That meant that if the Rebbe was encouraging it, then we would say “Yechi.” It was that simple. People said “Yechi,” and the Rebbe gave a nod of approval—not just approval, but strong approval, as if to say, “Sing some more.” So of course that was encouragement, tremendous encouragement, and it removed all doubts. I hadn’t had doubts before, but honestly, it’s a little hard for me to remember that period. It’s possible that even I was thinking, “What does the Rebbe actually want?” That was the question: what does the Rebbe want? I think there were conversations here and there, with people bringing proofs either way—once the Rebbe had said this, and later the Rebbe had said [unclear], and so on. There were questions about it. But I think that at that point, all the questions were over.

52:20 Speaker 6 That people saw it [unclear].

52:20 Speaker 5 That people saw it [unclear].

52:21 Speaker 6 Before everyone’s eyes.

52:22 Speaker 5 Yes, and time after time. Not just once.

52:27 Speaker 6 Wow. So, as we come toward the end of the program, if we want to draw strength from all the events you’ve spoken about—the constriction on Shemini Atzeres 5738, followed by that great revelation on Rosh Chodesh Kislev 5738—how can we take that event, keep it before our eyes, and experience it in our lives today? As chassidim living in the night of exile, how can we be confident that at any moment our Rosh Chodesh Kislev will arrive—the complete revelation of the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, and the Geulah? How can we experience that even today?

53:01 Speaker 5 Maybe this will help answer the question. There can be all kinds of illusions, so what we need to look at—in everything, in every part of life, and above all in matters of emunah and our connection with the Rebbe—is: what does the Rebbe want? That’s what we need to consider. And we saw clearly what the Rebbe wants. The Rebbe knew everything; it’s plain and clear that the Rebbe knew everything. The Rebbe knew his own condition, and the Rebbe knew that the Geulah of Tammuz was going to happen. The Rebbe knew everything. And we know what the Rebbe wants. It’s clear. At least to me—and I think it’s clear to everyone—that the Rebbe wants us to keep saying “Yechi,” to live with Moshiach. First of all, to live with Moshiach, as the Rebbe spoke about at the Kinus Hashluchim. So I think everything should be permeated with this: how to bring the Geulah, and that everything should be filled with a love for the Geulah. And then there’s studying about Moshiach. The learning has to include nigleh and Chassidus and everything else. That’s what yeshivah is about. That’s what the Temimim do: they study nigleh and Chassidus, something the Rebbe always encouraged very strongly. The Rebbe always demanded and established that people write their own Torah insights. He made it a requirement. But all of that needs to be there. All of that is the body, the limbs. The soul of it all has to be studying about Moshiach. That’s the soul. A soul without a body isn’t enough. We want a soul within a body. We need all the mivtzoim, all ten mivtzoim, and first and foremost, Torah study and the study of Chassidus. And the mivtzoim too, in every way. They don’t conflict—quite the opposite. It’s a matter of body and soul. It’s the union of the higher and lower realms that the Rebbe always spoke about. We’re talking about a process

55:34 Speaker 5 The soul within the soul, within the learning, within everything we do. So even when we study other things or go out on mivtzoim—the Rebbe speaks about the shluchim, and the same applies to the Temimim, whose central concern is Torah study. Torah study, too, needs to be permeated with the awareness that we are bringing Moshiach’s coming closer.

55:55 Speaker 6 And even to greet our righteous Moshiach, the Rebbe.

55:58 Speaker 5 Yes, bringing it closer. And of course, it’s clear to every Tomim that Moshiach’s coming isn’t even—no, no.

56:04 Speaker 6 There’s no...

56:04 Speaker 5 Yes, that’s us.

56:07 Speaker 6 So what you’re focusing us on is how to experience this right now, when the concealment is actually greater than it was then: to believe and anticipate it at every moment, to be certain that the Rebbe will reveal himself, and to sanctify our minds and hearts. So it’s not just a matter of longing and confidence. It has to come through faith, and especially through what gives life to it all: studying the subjects of Geulah and Moshiach, and dwelling on them consistently.

56:33 Speaker 5 That gives it life. And the Rebbe also speaks about making a dwelling place for Hashem in the lower realms—not remaining detached from the world. So there needs to be study of both Nigleh and Chassidus, as well as the subjects of Moshiach. And as the Rebbe says, these subjects are explained in detail in the sichos, and in the sources cited there—the halachos of the Rambam and other sources. That needs to give life to the learning. In other words, we need both, and all our learning needs to be permeated with the feeling that through this learning we are drawing closer to Moshiach. May we truly merit to see the Rebbe, King Moshiach, in the physical world very soon.

57:26 Speaker 6 Amen.

57:27 Speaker 5 And to hear sichos [unclear] from the Rebbe.

57:32 Speaker 6 Amen. Amen. A big yasher koach, Rabbi Notik[?]

57:36 Speaker 5 Long live our master, our teacher, and our Rebbe, King Moshiach, forever and ever.

57:39 Speaker 6 L’chaim. L’chaim and blessings. L’chaim and blessings.

57:42 Speaker 7 Ears to Hear. Audio programs for the Temimim from the Or Yomi website. For more programs, dial *6358. Long live our master, our teacher, and our Rebbe, King Moshiach, forever and ever.