Educating Children for Purim - Rabbi Yosef Avraham Pizam shlita

00:02 Speaker 1 You’re listening to the Lema’an Yishme’u podcast from Machon Halacha Chabad.

00:09 Speaker 2 We’ll now learn about Purim—Purim in education and halacha. First, let’s understand what we’re talking about. What is the powerful spiritual meaning of Purim, the strength it gives us from Above? What happened then? What is happening today in the heavens? And what needs to happen down here, in this physical world? There is a letter from the Rebbe for the month of Adar 5752. The Rebbe writes: “When the decree was issued to destroy them, G-d forbid, Mordechai went out into the city streets and gathered twenty-two thousand schoolchildren to teach them Torah, and together with them to pour out their hearts before their Father in Heaven in prayer and supplication. He instilled such great mesirus nefesh in their hearts that they cried out as one, ‘Whether in death or in life, we are with you.’ Through this, the decree was torn up. Mordechai the tzaddik was among the heads of the Sanhedrin, foremost among the tzaddikim, like Moshe in his generation. Nevertheless, he went out personally to teach Torah, with fear of Heaven and mesirus nefesh, to young children. He instilled fear of Heaven and mesirus nefesh in those schoolchildren. Every one of us must always remember: No one should imagine that their position or circumstances exempt them from taking part in educating young children, or ask how they could set aside their lofty work and affairs. They must recognize that what matters most is to set aside at least some of their time and devote at least some of their energies to winning over the education of the younger generation, planting in their hearts fear of Heaven and mesirus nefesh for all that has been sacred to us since we became ‘a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’” Suddenly we see how the Rebbe looks at Purim. What is Purim? A great, holy and exalted day, a day that gives us the strength to plant fear of Heaven and mesirus nefesh in our children. And here is more from the Rebbe on this, so that we understand what we are educating for: “The decree of Purim was annulled because Mordechai, who was great in his generation in

03:12 Speaker 2 Torah, fear of Heaven and wisdom, personally learned with schoolchildren, as our Sages of blessed memory relate. On what does the Geulah of the Jewish people, both materially and spiritually, depend? On educating the younger generation. Every Jew, even someone as great as Mordechai—of whom our Sages of blessed memory said in Midrash Esther Rabbah that Mordechai in his generation was like Moshe in his generation—even the greatest person, the leader of the generation, is personally obligated to take part in this education.” So we understand that in our generation, the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, sets the example himself, setting aside all his own affairs to invest in the education of Jewish children. So what can we say? We’re the people on the ground, and we must do this, both as teachers and educators and as parents. On Taanis Esther we give the half-shekel coins in remembrance of the half-shekel. How good and pleasant it would be to educate young children to give three coins for the half-shekel from their own money, or for their parents to help them give generously while still leaving them enough money for their needs, so they lack nothing. The Rebbe is plainly speaking to parents here, and he says this in 5752. So there’s an interesting point here. Everyone who comes on Taanis Esther and gives the three coins gives according to the number of people in their household, and so on. But honestly, before this instruction from the Rebbe, I don’t know how many people made sure to give their child the coins so the child could give them. It’s very important. The Rebbe says: Give the child those three coins, given in remembrance of the half-shekel, and let the child give them. This is very important. So here is a detail for us as parents: We need to educate our children, give them the money as a gift, and have them give the three coins for the half-

05:49 Speaker 2 shekel. Another point in halacha concerns the father’s obligation: If a father once gave the half-shekel for a minor, a child before bar mitzvah, he must not stop. He should give it every year until the child grows up and, after bar mitzvah, gives from his own money. Another interesting halacha: Some have the custom that a pregnant woman gives the half-shekel for her unborn child. Some have this custom; not everyone does. We educate young children to hear the Megillah reading and bring them to shul to hear it. Jewish children have the custom of making noise with graggers and banging when the reader mentions Haman in the Megillah. Adults, by contrast, do this in thought or speech, though some do it physically with their feet. We can see in a video how the Rebbe stamps his foot—that’s how he strikes Haman. Children, especially, do this with energy and enthusiasm. The custom of wearing costumes on Purim is also practiced mainly by children. Adults do it too, but it is mainly the children who do it with such spirit, energy and enthusiasm. It’s important to say here that when we explain to a child that the costume itself is part of a shlichus, and ask why they are dressing up as that character, we can encourage them to choose something positive—and better yet, something Chassidic, or something connected to our present time, the days of Moshiach in which we now find ourselves. Something that can encourage the Jewish people and get them thinking about the Geulah, with optimism, emunah and strengthened emunah—that is certainly a good thing. That way, we can avoid costumes depicting trivial things or, certainly, negative things. By the way, I should mention the sicha of the Rebbe, Melech HaMoshiach, about not playing the role of Haman. The Rebbe spoke about students and children playing good, appropriate roles that show the victory of holiness, but not, G-d forbid, playing Haman. That is also, of course, a very important point. Let’s also talk about

08:32 Speaker 2 the fact that a child needs to hear the Megillah, so we need to make sure the child is able to follow it. At each age, we should give them a Megillah suited to them, perhaps with vowels and large, easy-to-read letters. We also need to know the halacha: If someone misses even one word, they have not fulfilled their obligation. So the child needs to listen to the Megillah the whole time. If they miss a word, they should read on from there until they catch up to where the reader is holding. We can also talk now about saying Ve’al Hanissim on Purim in bentching and in the Shemoneh Esrei prayers. Here, too, it’s worth emphasizing something. Sometimes someone thinks, “If I forgot Ve’al Hanissim, I don’t have to go back. Fine, it’s no big deal.” But from an educational perspective, that isn’t how to look at it. If the Torah gives you a way to correct it, great: Say Shemoneh Esrei again, and you’ve corrected it by saying Ve’al Hanissim. But my dear child, if you aren’t given a chance to correct it, what a shame! So be careful, make an effort, pay attention—try not to forget Ve’al Hanissim. When we thank Hashem, we merit, with Hashem’s help, to thank Him very soon for the true and complete Geulah. Let’s not miss that expression of thanks to Hashem in Ve’al Hanissim. Now, a little about Purim activities. The Rebbe calls for Jewish children to be involved in these activities, including our own children as active participants. The activities should take place, for example, in the places the Rebbe mentions here: nursing homes, hospitals, prisons, the army and the police. I want to emphasize that in nursing homes and hospitals, children’s participation brings tremendous joy and is very moving for the people there. It also gives the children who go out on mivtzoim a response that helps them feel how important their participation is.

10:51 Speaker 2 That’s something very significant. Another point is mishloach manos and matanos la’evyonim. The Rebbe says here: Let’s get the children involved, both as messengers who bring mishloach manos and matanos la’evyonim to other people, and by having them fulfill the mitzvos themselves: a boy should give mishloach manos to a boy, and a girl should give mishloach manos to a girl. For matanos la’evyonim, a boy can give to tzedakah boxes or to various organizations, and a girl can do the same. The Rebbe’s wording here is that young boys and girls who have reached the age of education should themselves fulfill these mitzvos—and when in doubt, be stringent. When in doubt, be stringent: You’re not sure whether the child has reached the age of education? Include them too. Starting at a younger age can only do good. So although there’s a tendency in some families for the children to rely on their parents to fulfill the Purim mitzvos on their behalf, that’s not what we should do. We need to see to it that the children are educated, active and involved in giving mishloach manos themselves. What does mishloach manos require? Just two kinds of food—an apple and a candy, for example—or a food and a drink, such as a slice of cake and a soft drink. Matanos la’evyonim can be fulfilled with two perutos, and the more one gives to tzedakah, the better. So we need to involve the children in all this.