Laws of Taharas Hamishpacha - Rabbi Menachem Mendel Harel shlita

00:02 Speaker 1 You’re listening to the “Lema’an Yishme’u” podcast from Machon Halacha Chabad.

00:09 Speaker 2 Shalom and blessings. With Hashem’s help, in the coming classes we’ll discuss matters connected with the Jewish home: what a Jewish home is, and its special power to draw down blessing. These are the laws of family purity. Our Sages taught us: When a man and a woman are worthy, the Shechinah dwells between them. The Hebrew word for “man,” ish, contains the letters alef and shin; the word for “woman,” ishah, also contains alef and shin. Together, those letters spell eish, fire. When fire and fire come together, that is very dangerous. But when the letter yud enters ish, turning eish into ish, and the letter hei enters ishah, turning eish into ishah—that is, when the yud and hei of Hakadosh Boruch Hu enter—the Shechinah dwells between them and blessing is found between them. Together, they are a man and woman who draw good blessings from Hakadosh Boruch Hu and have abundance in their lives. To draw down the yud and hei of Hakadosh Boruch Hu, to bring the Shechinah between them, they must fulfill His will in their daily lives, in the essential life of the Jewish home. That is why, in so many of the Rebbe’s letters and responses, we find an emphasis on being meticulous about the laws of family purity, strengthening their observance, and remembering to review, study, and become familiar with them. As the Rebbe points out in a number of letters, observing these laws is what draws blessing into the home, into a couple’s life, into family life, and into the lives and health of parents and children. These laws bring abundant goodness and sweetness to a healthy home—a joyful, happy home, a home with meaning, a home that carries forward the existence of the Jewish people. So it’s important to review these laws from time to time and become familiar with them. When a question or doubt arises, don’t be embarrassed: call a rabbi, an instructor, or a female instructor and ask. There is no joy like resolving doubts. When we know we are doing what Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants, the path is

03:45 Speaker 2 safe, the path is bright, the path is clear and successful. With Hashem’s help, let’s begin with the first part of our discussion: how a woman becomes ritually impure. What actually causes impurity? Our Sages teach that although various fluids—called “bloods” in the language of our Sages—come from what is called the source, the womb, only a discharge with a reddish appearance causes impurity. A color with no reddish appearance or tint, such as a pale yellow, gray, or any other color with no trace of red, does not cause impurity, even if it came from the woman’s source. What does cause impurity? Only a shade belonging to the red family. It’s important to know that brown comes in several shades. A very strong yellow, tending toward a deep waxy color, also comes in several shades. So when something appears in one of these colors—brown or strong yellow, and certainly if it has a pink shade—don’t decide on your own or issue your own ruling that it causes impurity. In other words, don’t be stringent on your own, but don’t permit it or be lenient on your own either. Consult a rabbi and show it to him, and Hakadosh Boruch Hu will give the rabbi the Divine assistance to decide and rule correctly. Sometimes people say to themselves, “We’re embarrassed; it’s uncomfortable. Better to be stringent.” But one must know that such a stringency is not a stringency in family purity. It is a great leniency, both in family purity and, especially, in peace in the home. Hakadosh Boruch Hu commands the Sages and the rabbis to work to declare a woman pure for her husband—to find a way to bring husband and wife together, and to labor over it. When someone rules for themselves and says, “I’m being stringent about family purity, and I’ll declare anything that looks a little questionable to me impure,” that isn’t a stringency; it’s a leniency. So it’s very important to rise above the feeling of embarrassment,

07:13 Speaker 2 which, in this matter, is simply a misplaced feeling. The rabbi isn’t interested in what, who, or how much. One thing interests him: Is this finding pure or impure? That is what he is trying to determine and working hard to establish. The other things that sometimes trouble people are not his concern. What matters very much to him is that the halachah be applied correctly, that his ruling accord with the will of Hakadosh Boruch Hu, and that there be peace and goodness between husband and wife. In general, there are several terms we need to know when asking a question about family purity. Our Sages taught us that a person should use refined language. At the same time, language must also be clear. So it’s very important to be precise when we bring a question to a rabbi. A question might concern an eid, an examination cloth, or the appearance of blood. When someone tells a rabbi, “I have a question about an appearance, about an eid, about an examination,” it means that every detail, even the smallest one, is extremely important, because an examination can involve impurity under Torah law. Telling the rabbi that the question concerns an examination—an appearance involving a doubt under Torah law—has a particular significance. Another question might concern a stain. A stain is governed by rabbinic law. Here, too, it’s important to make clear to the rabbi that the question is about a stain. A stain is usually found on clothing, on a pad, or on the body. Each of those details is very significant, so the person asking needs to understand what they are asking about and explain it. Another kind of question concerns wiping, which usually means wiping after using the bathroom. Wiping has a different halachic significance: a question about an examination is not the same as a question about wiping, and a question about wiping is not the same as a question about a

10:31 Speaker 2 stain. So it’s very important to use the right terms. The same applies when a woman says, “I felt something.” What did she feel? A general sensation? Pain in her head? Pain in her pelvis? Back pain? Pain in her lower abdomen? Did she feel an internal sensation that something opened? Did she feel fluid flowing—in halachic terms, a moist discharge moving from inside to outside? Or was the sensation entirely external, simply a feeling of wetness? Each of these descriptions and terms has a different halachic significance. That’s why it’s very important to organize the question before asking it. Then things will be much clearer both to the person asking and to the person being asked—the rabbi. When things are clear, the rabbi can give an accurate answer suited to the question. But sometimes, using terms that don’t fit the question can lead the rabbi to give an incorrect answer to what he was asked. So it’s very important, for the rabbi as well as the person asking, to sum things up after the question has been asked and make sure that the rabbi understood it. The same applies to other questions, whether they concern the anticipated onset of a period or conduct on those days. On days when a period is anticipated, the restrictions known as harchakos do not apply; there is a requirement of separation. If someone tells the rabbi, “I have a question about harchakos,” and the rabbi thinks the woman is impure when it is actually a day on which her period is anticipated, and the question is really about refraining from certain things, that can mislead both the person asking and the rabbi. There is a significant difference between separation when a period is anticipated and the harchakos that apply during days of impurity. Here, too, neither husband nor wife may say, “We’ll be stringent and observe all the harchakos on days when a period is anticipated,” because that, too, is a stringency that leads to leniency. It is a stringency that could later lead to leniency in all the laws of family purity. What the Torah forbade is enough. The Torah said, the halachah

13:46 Speaker 2 The ruling is that on the days of concern—the onah beinonis, the veses hachodesh, the veses haflagah, or any of the other types of concern—separation is required only with regard to certain things. Those are the only things from which they must refrain. When a woman is not tahor, when she is tamei, there are restrictions called the laws of harchakos, and they apply only while she is tamei. They should not be extended to the days of concern. So it is important to tell the rabbi, “I’m asking about a day of concern. I’m asking about the requirements of separation on that day,” rather than using the term harchakos for the days of concern, or vice versa. Someone may ask a question about separation when it turns out that he is talking about the laws of harchakos while his wife is not tahor. The same applies to questions about immersion and a chatzitzah, a barrier to immersion. It is important to define the issue: What was there? What are we talking about? Where was it, and which law is relevant? Is it a question about a chatzitzah, or a question about the immersion itself? Is the question being asked before a night has passed or after? Is the mikveh still open, so the woman can return and immerse, or has it already closed? Is the woman asking still at the mikveh, or has she already left? Every detail and every term in the question can affect the halachic ruling, so it is very important to describe things accurately. Of course, rabbis too are expected to answer calmly if they are going to answer a question. But if a rabbi cannot answer at that moment, he should do one of two things: either tell the person asking that he cannot answer now and to call back later, or simply not answer if he cannot. And if the person asking feels that the rabbi did not understand and is under pressure, they should say, “Excuse me, Rabbi, could you please hear the question again? I feel

16:41 Speaker 2 that I didn’t explain myself properly.” They should make sure they have explained themselves correctly and understood the answer correctly. Sometimes a person says, “I’m embarrassed.” But one should know that it is better to be embarrassed before people than, G-d forbid, to be embarrassed Above. So there is no reason to be embarrassed. Do you think they didn’t properly understand what you asked? Do you think they didn’t properly understand what you asked? Ask again and make sure that the matter was indeed understood, and that you correctly understood the answer you were given. Any woman who felt blood coming from her uterus, even if it was only a very small drop, becomes tamei. From that moment, all the laws of harchakos apply between her and her husband. We will discuss them, with Hashem’s help, later on. They remain in effect until she completes the required process: waiting five days, performing a hefsek taharah, counting seven clean days, and then immersing in a kosher mikveh. Until then, all those restrictions apply. After she immerses in a kosher mikveh, everything permitted between husband and wife becomes permitted to them. When we speak of blood coming from the uterus, we need to know that there is a difference between blood and a stain. “Blood” means blood accompanied by a sensation, or blood found during a bedikah, as we will discuss later when we speak about examining with a bedikah cloth. It also includes, of course, blood a woman sees during her menstrual cycle, called menstrual bleeding. In each of these cases, the tumah is a matter of Torah law. But there is also a form of tumah called the tumah of stains. This is when the blood was not found during a bedikah, was not accompanied by a sensation, and was not part of her period; rather, she found blood on her clothing. She suddenly found a bloodstain on a pantyliner, or on her leg or body. That is called a stain. Stains have different laws and render a woman tamei only in certain circumstances, which we will discuss in the laws of stains. Any drop of blood, however tiny, renders her tamei only when

20:11 Speaker 2 it is blood in one of the categories governed by Torah law: accompanied by a sensation, found during a bedikah, or, of course, menstrual bleeding. A period generally does not end with a single drop; as we know, the bleeding usually continues for several days. Sometimes a period can also be short, lasting fewer days. It is important to know that the reason the blood came out does not make much difference. For example, a woman lifted a heavy suitcase or a heavy box, carried a large piece of furniture, or ran after a bus, and as a result of that exertion she felt blood come out, and blood did indeed come out. Or she suddenly began bleeding at an unexpected time, even though that is not her usual pattern. In other words, there was an external cause, which halachah calls ones—something forced the blood out of its place. The cause does not make much difference, and the woman becomes tamei. Of course, when a woman has her regular menstrual bleeding, her monthly period, she is certainly tamei under Torah law. Perhaps it is worth saying a little more about the monthly cycle here, because it is very important and sometimes relevant to fertility as well. So it is worth offering a brief explanation to give some general knowledge of the subject. Halachah says that, on average, a woman has a period once every thirty days. And today, medical literature tells us that a woman’s cycle ranges from twenty-eight to thirty days. In other words, a cycle of around thirty days is a regular cycle. Within those twenty-eight to thirty days, there are about five to seven days of bleeding, seven clean days, and immersion in a kosher mikveh. So we have five plus seven, which is twelve. That leaves sixteen days during which the woman is tahor. When the cycle is more or less around that length, it means her period is normal and regular.

23:38 Speaker 2 But if the cycle is too short—meaning that she has a period every twenty-five days, every twenty-four days, or even fewer, and this happens regularly—it is generally advisable to see a doctor, be examined, and find out how to bring the cycle into a normal range of twenty-five days or more, preferably twenty-six. Why? Because when a cycle is twenty-five days or less, it is usually very difficult for a woman to conceive. Likewise, if the cycle is not thirty days but thirty-six days or more, and keeps getting longer, that is also a problem. If a woman has had either very short or very long cycles for an extended period and has not conceived, it is very worthwhile to see a doctor and address the matter. Sometimes it can be resolved with a simple treatment, and sometimes it requires more complex treatment. But boruch Hashem, today Hakadosh Boruch Hu, in His great power, has given medicine the ability to help so that every woman, with Hashem’s help, can conceive and bear children. The situations I mentioned are simply the more extreme cases, which it is worth noticing relatively early. In other words, if a cycle is extremely short or extremely long, it is very worthwhile to address it. Generally, the guidance is not to rush couples into fertility treatments during the first two years after marriage. But when a case is clearly at an extreme, there is no reason to wait too long. At least they can begin with simple measures that may help. Take the example of cycles becoming shorter: that also affects the couple’s ability to be together and enjoy being together, and it is very frustrating. That in itself calls for attention and treatment, all the more so when they also want to merit having children. So they certainly need guidance, help, and the right direction.

26:24 Speaker 2 so that they can do this in the best possible way. A woman performed a bedikah and found blood on the eid. First, it’s important to explain why the cloth placed on the finger for an internal examination is called an eid—a witness. As an aside, even the Torah, which is written in the Holy Tongue, has no name for that part of the body. That is why people generally refer to it simply as “that place.” The eid inserted there is called a witness because it alone can testify to what is happening there. A woman wants to know whether she is free of blood or whether there is blood present. She cannot see inside with her eyes. By taking a clean white cloth, inserting it, and performing the bedikah properly—turning it all the way around with her finger slightly bent—she can see, when she removes it, what the eid tells her. If even a tiny spot of blood is found on the eid, the halachah is that the woman is impure. Sometimes, though, a woman says to herself, “How can that be? I know myself; I know my body. This isn’t a time when there should be blood. How could blood suddenly appear?” I’ll give two examples. Say a woman performed a hefsek taharah on Sunday and began counting seven clean days. Her bedikos on Monday were clean, Tuesday’s were clean, and Wednesday’s were clean. Then on Thursday—there’s a spot of blood on the eid. She says, “How can that be? Where could blood have come from? This has never happened to me.” It’s good that she asks. She shouldn’t throw away the eid or give up, saying, “Oh no, I have to start the seven clean days over.” No. She should keep the eid and ask her husband to take it to a rabbi. It is generally very important that these questions be brought

29:12 Speaker 2 through the husband, or at least that the husband be involved in asking the rabbi. Even if the woman wants to explain something specific herself, both for reasons of modesty and because of the nature of the matter, this is not something separate from her husband. Family purity concerns the husband just as much as it concerns the wife. They bring the eid to the rabbi and explain: “Rabbi, this is the fourth of the clean days. All the bedikos until now were clean. Suddenly there’s a spot of blood here. It can’t be from the uterus.” We need to understand that neither the rabbi nor we have ruach hakodesh. Neither the person asking nor the person answering can know through ruach hakodesh where the blood came from. We have a means of finding out what is happening inside, called an eid, and the eid says there is blood. On the other hand, the history says: “Wait, there have been three or four clean days, with clean bedikos. Where did the blood come from?” In such a case, the rabbi will generally recommend consulting someone called a taharah examiner—a halachic examiner. She is a woman qualified, first of all, as a nurse, often even a midwife or gynecological nurse, who is legally permitted to examine that part of the body. Using the appropriate equipment, she can look and identify what she sees: “There’s a scratch here, and I can also see that the discharge from the uterus is clean.” She then writes to the rabbi: “This woman’s discharge from the uterus is clean, and I saw a bleeding scratch on the right side, on the left side, at the opening,” and so on. The rabbi can then say, “Ah, that fits. We can attribute the blood found on the eid to that wound.” In that case, even though the blood was found on an eid, it does not render her impure. But if the woman went to an examiner, who examined her thoroughly and found nothing, then although it is puzzling where the blood came from, unfortunately, because that drop of blood was found on an eid—even if the drop

31:50 Speaker 2 is very, very small—it renders the woman impure. She must perform a hefsek taharah and begin counting seven clean days again. It is important to mention here that a doctor, and sometimes even an observant woman doctor, cannot replace a taharah examiner. I’ll explain why, based also on experience with these matters. When a woman comes to a doctor and says, “Please check whether I have a wound there,” the doctor looks only for what is medically defined as a wound. If she finds something that qualifies medically, she may say, “There’s a fungal infection here,” or “There’s an injury,” or “There’s pus,” and so on. But if something is not medically defined as a wound, the doctor will say there is nothing there, because she is not looking for scratches. She is looking for medical findings. A taharah examiner, by contrast, has been trained to look for findings relevant to the woman’s taharah. She knows that although a particular scratch may have no medical significance, that tiny scratch can be very significant for taharah, and that is what she looks for. So it is not enough to say, “I was just at the doctor the day before yesterday, and she said everything was clear and fine.” Nor is it enough to say, “I have an appointment with the doctor today, and I’ll ask her to check.” The doctor is not looking for the same things. She looks for medical findings, while the examiner looks for findings relevant to family purity. The examiner’s role is to help, and the vast majority of these examiners are calm, understanding women who appreciate the importance of their work and do it as well as possible. So whenever a woman has a question about something unexpected, she or her husband should consult a rabbi. A taharah examiner may be able to help resolve the matter. At the same time, it is important to point out something else: one should not

34:34 Speaker 2 go to a taharah examiner without being referred by a rabbi, and one should not make a halachic decision based solely on what the examiner says. Sometimes a question involves additional considerations and factors that neither the person asking nor the examiner is necessarily familiar with. The examiner is focused on finding a basis for the woman’s taharah, and the husband and wife are looking for what may help her in that regard. The rabbi, however, brings his knowledge and expertise in the halachos of family purity to the question. Taken together, these give him a fuller picture for deciding whether the examiner’s finding is sufficient. I’ll give the simplest example: A woman brings an eid with a fairly substantial amount of blood on it, and the examiner finds a tiny, pinhead-sized spot that bleeds when rubbed. Can the blood on the eid be attributed to it or not? I’ll leave that as an open question, but we need to understand that a husband and wife cannot decide this on their own. That is one example, and there are many others. So even when they think an examiner may be able to resolve a question about blood on an eid, they should go with the guidance of a rabbi who is handling the question. Another situation that can raise a question or render a woman impure is finding blood when wiping. Wiping means wiping across that area, whether after using the bathroom or on any other occasion. The emphasis is on wiping—passing over the outside—not performing a bedikah. A bedikah means inserting the eid inside; wiping means passing a piece of tissue or paper across the area and finding blood on it. There are several different halachic rulings concerning blood found when wiping, so every such question should be discussed with a rabbi. Even if the woman threw the tissue into the toilet and flushed, there is no need to panic. She should call a rabbi and explain

37:37 Speaker 2 What he saw, and Hakadosh Boruch Hu will give the rabbi the help from Heaven to decide one way or the other. Of course, if the tissue has not been thrown away, take it and show it to the rabbi. It is very important to know that even when asking about wiping, you need to explain the circumstances. What happened, and how was it done? Often, those details will lead to a more accurate halachic ruling. It makes a difference whether the woman wiped with the tissue only against that area or in another area as well. It makes a difference if she knows she has sores in that area. How the wiping was done matters. So, as we said earlier, we should not rush to rule that she is impure and be stringent, or that she is pure and be lenient, on our own. We should consult a rabbi. The very fact that Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave a person the ability to consult someone is a great gift. You do not have to decide alone, because there is no joy like the resolution of doubt. When people decide for themselves, they often feel guilty afterward: Maybe I was wrong; maybe I acted too hastily. I wish I had asked, and so on. When a person consults a rabbi—“Make for yourself a rabbi”—the doubt is resolved one way or the other, and they are not left in constant doubt or worry about their conduct. If we said that describing the circumstances surrounding an examination can help with a halachic ruling, that is certainly true when we are talking about wiping. It is important to explain to the rabbi what happened. If the woman has a particular medical condition, she should explain that too, because every such detail gives the rabbi another avenue to consider in reaching a halachic ruling. Sometimes a woman may urinate, then wipe and see blood. That is a complex question, and it is very important to say where she saw the blood and how it appeared, whether

40:45 Speaker 2 she has a urinary tract infection, for example. Again, the surrounding facts will greatly help the rabbi reach the right conclusion and halachic ruling. We mentioned earlier that many colors can come from the uterus, from the source of the bleeding. A woman wears a garment, or she puts a liner on it, and various colors appear. Various colors can appear on a bedikah cloth as well. The problematic colors are all those in the red family: red, of course, pink and orange. Certain shades of brown render her impure, while others do not, so do not decide on your own. Black can be very problematic. But colors like gray and pale yellow are not a problem. A very dark yellow should also be shown to a rabbi, because it may sometimes have a reddish tinge that darkens the yellow. So whenever a question is unclear and your inclination is to say, “Maybe we should be stringent,” do not be stringent on your own. Go to a rabbi and ask. According to Torah law, a woman becomes impure when she feels blood coming out. Feeling blood emerge renders her impure. Generally speaking, the halachic authorities mention two kinds of sensation that certainly render a woman impure under Torah law. One is that she feels a kind of opening, a sort of click inside, as the uterus opens. Another is that her whole body shakes with a very strong shiver. It is generally accepted today that most women do not experience such a sensation; they do not feel it. But a woman who did feel it should, first and foremost, do a bedikah immediately after the sensation described above. The bedikah must be done close to the time of the sensation. If she does the bedikah and finds blood, she is impure. If she finds no blood, but instead a thick discharge of white or yellow mucus or the like, then if it was truly thick and substantial, she is pure. If the discharge was thin and its color

44:31 Speaker 2 is one that does not render her impure, that alone is not enough, because she had a sensation. In any such situation, the recommendation is to consult a rabbi, call him and explain the case as one involving a sensation. A sensation in the sense we mentioned is a matter of Torah law, and one needs to know that one is acting correctly. As noted, it is generally accepted that most women today do not experience such sensations, but I have personally heard from quite a few women who do. So if this happens, consult a rabbi to know how to proceed according to halachah. Here too, it makes a difference whether the woman is pregnant or nursing—the halachic period for nursing is twenty-four months after childbirth. This too must be mentioned to the rabbi, because it will be a central detail in the halachic ruling concerning a sensation. Another sensation mentioned by the halachic authorities is called the sensation of a flow of liquid. This means that the woman felt something coming out of her. Here too, it makes a difference where she felt it. Did she feel a liquid coming down from the uterus itself, or did she feel it only much farther out? So in cases involving such sensations, one should consult a rabbi about how to proceed. The rabbi will ask questions and clarify what she felt and how. As I said earlier, it is very important for the husband to be involved in these questions, so that the rabbi feels more comfortable asking and the woman feels more comfortable answering. For reasons of modesty as well, it is important to know that not every question can be asked directly by the rabbi to the woman. Often, particularly with very sensitive questions, it should go through the husband. A very important subject in the area of family purity is medical examinations. Medical examinations are a very important subject. First and foremost, we need to know that the Torah says, “And he shall surely heal.” The Torah gave

47:18 Speaker 2 a doctor permission to heal, so when it comes to medical care, we should seek help and do what the doctors say. At the same time, nowadays doctors sometimes order a whole range of tests, not only because they are medically necessary, but because they want to protect themselves against claims that might be made someday. So when a doctor says a woman needs a particular test, it is very important to consult a rabbi for two reasons. First, does this specific kind of examination render her impure? That is a question concerning family purity. The second question is whether the particular test the doctor is recommending is medically and halachically necessary. If it is unnecessary, there is no need for it; if it is necessary, one must know the halachah: Does she remain pure, or does it render her impure? Most of the examinations performed today do not render a woman impure. Take the most routine one, called a vaginal ultrasound. That examination does not render her impure. By contrast, some invasive examinations do. So it is very important to consult a rabbi before having the examination and ask: “Rabbi, the doctor said I should have this examination for such-and-such a reason. Does it render me impure or not?” Perhaps it would be better to schedule it for a time when the woman is impure anyway—not during the days of bleeding, because an examination generally cannot be done then, but after the bleeding has stopped and before the seven clean days begin. Then it will not... Even if the examination itself renders her impure, she is impure anyway, so it will not disrupt her seven clean days afterward or her days of purity. The same applies if a woman needs to have an IUD inserted or the like. Here too, there are many questions, and one should consult a rabbi before insertion and before removal, to understand what it means in terms of family purity

49:45 Speaker 2 the family. Beyond the question of whether an IUD may or may not be inserted, there is something very important we need to understand. A rabbi does not come to interfere in anyone’s life, and sometimes people are not comfortable involving others in their personal lives. So where does the rabbi fit into the picture, especially in such a personal matter? The answer is very simple. Every Jewish man and woman wants to do in life what Hakadosh Boruch Hu expects of us. We know it can be challenging. We know that sometimes we face difficult struggles, but each of us, at our own level, is willing to make sacrifices to do what Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants. But human beings are naturally biased in matters that concern them, whether toward being stringent or lenient. And Hakadosh Boruch Hu gave us a great gift, in the words of our Sages in Pirkei Avos: “Make for yourself a rabbi, and remove yourself from doubt.” The rabbi is a third party. He has halachic knowledge and the ability to stand back and see things in proper focus, one way or the other. The rabbi helps determine, in the specific case the couple presents to him, according to the very clear and precise rules of halachah: What does Hakadosh Boruch Hu want? What has He decided in His Torah? What has He ruled in His Torah—pure or impure, permitted or forbidden? When a person acts this way, they can proceed with confidence. And Hakadosh Boruch Hu will surely help us when we make an effort to increase purity, to increase holiness in the home and among the Jewish people. He will surely bestow His blessing upon us, and every Jewish home will have all the holy blessings with which the Rebbe blesses us: an everlasting home founded on Torah and mitzvos. That home will endure, with good children, healthy children, happy children, and all the gates will be open

52:17 Speaker 2 to the couple, to their children, to the entire family. In general, when we talk about medical examinations, it is preferable from the outset for a woman to be examined by a female doctor. If there is no female doctor, a woman may also be examined by a male doctor, but there are a few details to pay attention to. If the doctor sees patients in a clinic, there is generally no problem, because people are there all the time and the receptionists can come and go at any moment. But if it is a private practice, and she needs to go to a doctor for a particular examination when no one else is there, or if it is at night, care must be taken to avoid a problem of yichud. Certainly, when a woman goes to a male doctor, it is best for her husband to come with her. If her husband cannot come, other women should accompany her so that there is no situation of yichud—for example, her mother-in-law or sister-in-law. Her own mother alone is not enough. Alternatively, she can bring a boy aged five to nine or a girl of the same age, so that there is no problem of yichud. From a halachic standpoint, if a doctor needs to perform a particular examination, the presumption is that a doctor is doing his professional work, and he may therefore perform it. At the same time, many halachic authorities of our generation have cautioned that, particularly when the examinations are invasive, a woman should have them performed specifically by a female doctor. There is no need to elaborate; the reason is understood. On the other hand, if a male doctor is highly skilled and there is no female doctor with comparable expertise, then, as stated, it is permitted under the conditions we mentioned, taking care to avoid a problem of yichud. In the previous part, we mentioned that impurity arises by Torah law through a bedikah with a checking cloth, with a hargashah. We mentioned that there is a category called wiping. There is another category of a woman’s impurity, a situation that renders her impure. This is a rabbinic law called kesamim, stains. The law of stains differs, first of all in its very nature, from the law of a hargashah

55:43 Speaker 2 and a bedikah, and from a menstrual period. While those cases we just mentioned render a woman impure by Torah law even with a single drop of blood—apart, of course, from a menstrual period, which generally involves a substantial flow—the impurity of stains is rabbinic. It has several conditions, and only when they come together does the stain render her impure. First of all, a stain is found. A woman finds a stain on her clothing, or she finds a stain on her body. It must be noted that a stain on the body is governed by different rules from a stain on clothing. But the fundamental distinction, first of all, is between a hargashah or a bedikah with a checking cloth, and simply finding a stain. She takes off a garment and suddenly sees a bloodstain on it. She felt nothing and sensed nothing. Does it render her impure? As we said, our Sages established several conditions for a stain, and only when those conditions are met is the stain considered to render her impure. So what are the conditions under which a stain does render her impure? First, the bloodstain that was found must have a minimum area called a gris plus a little more. Today, it is generally estimated as the area of a one-shekel coin. It is important to note that the shape of the stain does not matter: whether it is round, exactly like a coin, or long, winding, triangular or diamond-shaped. The shape makes no difference. If the area of blood in the stain is a gris plus a little more, the woman is impure. It is true that a shekel coin is round, but if the stain is very long and, if gathered into a circle, would reach the minimum area of a gris plus a little more, it renders her impure. The same applies if it is diamond-shaped and its total area is a gris plus a little more. The shape does not matter; the area does. If it has that area of a gris plus a little more, that is the first condition for impurity. The second condition is that the surface on which the stain was found is halachically capable of receiving impurity. It has the status of a garment or a sheet, and so on. It has that halachic status. We will not

59:28 Speaker 2 go into all the details now of what it means for something to be capable of receiving impurity. The main point is that any piece of cloth measuring six by six centimeters—three by three fingerbreadths, which is called six by six centimeters—is considered, at that size, capable of receiving impurity. If the stain is found on it, is of the required size and, of course, is red, and the fabric is white, all these conditions together add up to a stain that renders her impure. In other words, first, the stain must have the minimum area of a gris plus a little more, which we said is currently estimated as the area of a shekel coin. Second, it must be on a garment or another item capable of receiving impurity. Third, that item must be white. A red stain of a gris plus a little more on a white item capable of receiving impurity: a woman who sees it becomes impure under the laws of stains. If she found it on her sheet and the sheet is white, or on a mattress protector and the mattress protector is white; if she found it on her undergarment and it is white, on a skirt and the skirt is white, or on tights and the tights are white, and so on—when all the conditions are met, the stain renders her impure. But if not all the conditions are met—for example, she found a red stain of a gris plus a little more, but the garment on which it was found is light blue, pink or another color rather than white—it does not render her impure. It is important to note, however, that even when a stain is found on colored clothing, a rabbi should be consulted. Depending on the details of the case, there may be specific guidance about how the couple should conduct themselves around the time the stain was seen. A stain found on a pad, on a panty liner: it should be known that most, if not all, of them

1:02:51 Speaker 2 Of today’s pads: although they are white, pads are not considered something that can become ritually impure. So even though they are white, they cannot become impure. One of the three conditions we mentioned earlier is therefore missing, and the stain does not render her impure. But how far does that go? Here we need to distinguish between a stain and something that has gone beyond the definition of a stain—an extensive amount of blood. Generally, women are aware of their situation and can tell the difference. But as I said, if there is any doubt or question, explain the situation to a rabbi, and he will tell you how to proceed. Since stains render a woman impure only under the conditions we discussed, our Sages, of blessed memory, advise that during her days of purity, after she has immersed in the mikveh, a woman should wear colored clothing. This refers mainly to her underwear. It is not that our Sages wanted to dictate what color she should wear. She can wear white if she likes. The recommendation to wear colored clothing is simply meant to help her maintain her purity, since stains on such clothing do not render her impure. Today, as I mentioned earlier, various kinds of protective pads also help prevent stains from rendering her impure, while helping a woman get an accurate indication of her condition. Sometimes the question arises whether a woman should wear black pads, or completely black or dark-blue underwear, on which nothing can be seen. The answer and general recommendation is no. On the contrary, it is better for her to wear colored clothing in a light shade, or to use a white pad. Why? Because if bloodstaining occurs, then in terms of ritual purity, as we said, a stain renders her impure only under certain conditions. If it is on colored clothing or on a pad that cannot become impure, it does not render her impure. But as a medical indication,

1:05:37 Speaker 2 it can be very helpful to her. If a woman suddenly has an unusual amount of bloodstaining, it is important that she know and be aware of it, because it needs medical attention. On black or dark-blue clothing, or a black pad, nothing can be seen. So while she might feel at ease from the standpoint of ritual purity—and even that does not always put her at ease—from a medical standpoint, she needs to know what is happening with her body. Therefore, in general, apart from very specific cases, it is not recommended to wear something very dark. If a garment combines white and colored sections, each section is judged separately. Thus, if there is a stain measuring a gris and a little more on the white section, she is impure. If half of that measure is on the white section and half on the colored section, she remains pure. If a stain is found on her body—on her leg or elsewhere on her body where it may have come from that place—it is a more complex question, and she must ask a rabbi. This is not something she can decide on her own. The same applies to a stain that is black; that, too, requires separate consideration. It is important to know that even if the ruling is that a stain rendered her impure, stains are not included in calculations of menstrual cycles. Stains are not entered on the veses calendar. Only blood found during a bedikah, blood that comes with a sensation, or a menstrual period is entered on the veses calendar. Stains are not. If a woman saw a stain and, unfortunately, it rendered her impure, she must wait five days, perform a hefsek taharah, count seven clean days, and immerse in a mikveh. After that, with Hashem’s help, she will be permitted to her husband. But the stain is not entered into the calculations on the veses calendar. There is no need to be concerned that, because she saw a stain on a particular day,

1:08:12 Speaker 2 she may see one on that day the following month. Concerns about the timing of a veses apply only to an actual flow of blood, which constitutes a sighting under Torah law, as we discussed earlier. With stains, we may attribute the blood to a wound or injury. So it is very important to know: if a woman comes to a rabbi and says, “I found a stain, and it is large enough to render me impure,” but then tells him, “Look, I had a wound there; I had a treatment that injured me,” and so on, then the stain can certainly be attributed to that wound and will not render her impure. So on the one hand, it is important to know the halachah and its parameters. But whenever there is doubt, one should consult a rabbi. That way, she will know how to proceed in light of the specific question and uncertainty.