Likkutei Amarim, Chapter 29 - Part 6

00:01 We’re up to page 36b in Tanya, at the line beginning “Therefore.” Look, he has been speaking here about the humbling a person needs in order to have a broken and contrite heart. Through this, he breaks the spirit of the sitra achra, allowing the light of the soul and the intellect to shine into the body and the animal soul, and breaking through the dullness that weighs on the heart in serving Hashem. So the Alter Rebbe has just been speaking—the last thing we learned—about the sins of youth and the damage they caused in the higher realms. And even though a person has already done teshuvah, nevertheless, as the Rebbe says, sometimes we need to know that Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants to bring us to a higher level of teshuvah. There are two possibilities: either his earlier teshuvah no longer counts for him at his present level, because he has risen to a higher level, and so the earlier damage has come to the fore again and he needs to repair it; or he is being lifted to a higher level of teshuvah, teshuvah ila’ah. That is the level of King David, who said, “And my sin is before me always.” In connection with what the Alter Rebbe says here, “And my sin is before me always,” we should note Igeres Hateshuvah. There, too, the Alter Rebbe brings up “And my sin is before me always,” and there he seems to give another explanation. In chapter 11 of Igeres Hateshuvah, the Alter Rebbe also discusses teshuvah ila’ah, and he says it must be done with great joy. This is the meaning of “all his days in teshuvah.” It does not mean teshuvah tata’ah, teshuvah marked by bitterness. Rather, “all his days in teshuvah” refers specifically to teshuvah ila’ah, which must be done with great joy. But the Alter Rebbe asks: If so, what does “And my sin is before me always” mean? How can he be filled with great joy if his sin is always before him? Remembering his transgression will not bring him joy.

02:09 So the Alter Rebbe explains that “before me” means at a distance. That is the Alter Rebbe’s point there: “And my sin is before me always” means that it is at a distance, like the word “opposite” in the verse in Bamidbar, “opposite the Tent of Meeting.” Rashi says it means “at a distance.” That is the point of the word “opposite.” It specifically does not mean that the transgressions are weighing on you up close. It is an awareness held at a distance. In other words, although you have already done teshuvah, and although a person has already repaired this and gone through teshuvah tata’ah, he still needs a distant reminder that he is not a perfect person. That reminder not only does not interfere with joy; on the contrary, it helps him be joyful. A wonderful insight. There in Igeres Hateshuvah, the Alter Rebbe says that a person’s awareness that he is, in fact, capable of sin—when kept at a distance—not only does not take away from his joy, but makes his joy even greater. Why? Because it enables a person to accept everything with joy. Once a person knows that he is not perfect and therefore nothing is owed to him, he is happy with his lot, whatever he has. And whatever he does not have, he is happy with his lot then, too. He accepts everything—all the events that happen to him, whatever they may be. People annoy him, people get in his way, sometimes there is suffering, unpleasant things happen, and he knows how to accept it with love and with joy. This is good advice for getting rid of all kinds of anger and resentment: a person knows that Hakadosh Boruch Hu is, in fact, cleansing him. It’s all right; there is no problem accepting it. He accepts suffering with love. Those who rejoice in suffering—of them the verse says, “And those who love Him will be like the sun rising in its strength.” Those who are insulted but do not insult in return. This is a fundamental lesson in life that we need to remember. It comes up in life

04:09 for each and every one of us. Sometimes someone makes you feel bad; these are things that happen to us and that we don’t like. Sometimes things happen that cause pain. Sometimes people cause us pain, and sometimes there are simply things that aren’t easy. We need to know how to accept them with love and joy. “Those who are insulted but do not insult in return, who hear themselves shamed but do not respond.” That is what it is, all the... and all the points the Alter Rebbe brings there. So this seems to be a different explanation of “And my sin is before me always.” Here he says that having “And my sin is before me always” raises a person to teshuvah ila’ah. King David, even though he had already done teshuvah, and had done genuine teshuvah, and King David said, “My heart is hollow within me,” nevertheless always felt that “my sin is before me always.” Through this, he brought himself to a higher level of teshuvah. It gave him greater awe and helped him reach teshuvah ila’ah. That is one point here in Tanya. The other point, in Igeres Hateshuvah, is to accept everything that happens with joy; there, “before me” means at a distance. There is a sicha of the Rebbe, I think on Igeres Hateshuvah, explaining why in Likkutei Amarim the Alter Rebbe explains it one way and in Igeres Hateshuvah he speaks about it another way. There the Rebbe makes a point: Likkutei Amarim deals with the service of beinonim, while Igeres Hateshuvah deals with the service of teshuvah, and he explains it on that basis. I don’t remember the details right now. Let’s go on with the discussion. “And even one who has not committed the serious sins of youth.” Now the Alter Rebbe addresses what happens with someone who does not have—does not have, does not have—the kind of damage we discussed earlier, the sins of youth. The Alter Rebbe says:

06:01 “And even if he is free of the serious sins of youth.” Even a person who is free of the matter of those sins. There are two ways to understand “the serious sins of youth.” Does it mean that the sins of youth are serious sins—that “serious” describes the sins of youth as a whole? Serious transgressions. As is known, the Alter Rebbe says in Igeres Hateshuvah, and also earlier in chapter 7 of Likkutei Amarim, that the sin of youth—wasting seed—is grave, a very, very great transgression. It is a sin, a serious sin. Is that what “serious” means? Or there is another interpretation. I think the Rebbe makes this point: “The serious sins of youth” means that among the sins of youth themselves, some are serious and some are not. In other words, even within the sins of youth there are the serious sins of youth. There are also sins of youth in a subtler form, which are not serious. In other words, sins of youth in their coarser form involve the violation of the covenant, wasting seed, but there are also sins of youth in a subtler form. What are the sins of youth? They have to do with the boiling of the blood. A young person, a bochur, naturally has hot blood. That heat expresses itself in other things as well. You can sometimes see it in the way a bochur eats: he eats with tremendous enthusiasm. That heat shows itself in other ways, too—in the desire for food. Sometimes it shows itself in a desire for clothing. He does a lot, a lot of exercise, a lot of... a great deal. He is preoccupied with making sure his body is... That is the heat, and it can express itself in a number of ways. Not everyone’s energy expresses itself in the same things, so this, too, is called a sin of youth in a subtler sense. The Alter Rebbe says in Likkutei Torah that this heat and intensity of desire for [unclear] is also considered a sin of youth. So, accordingly, the Alter Rebbe

08:12 He says here that even if a person is free of serious sins of youth, he may still have this issue in a subtler form, as the Alter Rebbe is now going to explain. So he needs to take stock of that too. “And he should take to heart the teaching of the holy Zohar, to be among the masters of accounting.” A person needs to pay attention, reflect, and take stock of himself. To be among the “masters of accounting” means to reckon with his soul over all the thoughts, words, and actions that have come and gone from the day he came into being until today. He needs to take stock of the thoughts, words, and actions he has had from that time until today: were they all on the side of holiness, or on the side of impurity, G-d forbid? He needs to look at what is happening with his thoughts, words, and actions. What are the issues the Alter Rebbe is pointing to here? The Alter Rebbe says that besides taking stock of sins, one must also take stock of one’s thoughts, words, and actions. And this itself—so the Alter Rebbe says, “And he should take to heart.” There are several points here that we need to examine carefully; these words are not incidental. The Alter Rebbe is asking us to take stock. And the first thing he says about taking stock is “he should take to heart”—“he should take to heart.” Often you can make a reckoning, but your heart isn’t in it. You do the arithmetic: yes, one plus one is two. You can also make a reckoning: I got up in the morning, I did this, I thought that, I said that. But you think about it as though it has nothing to do with you. That’s all. There’s nothing there. The work is to “take to heart,” to “take to heart.” It requires personal attention. In other words, you have to pay attention so that there is feeling in it, so that taking stock matters to you. This is also why he cites the Zohar’s expression, “masters of accounting.” What is the significance of the Zohar’s wording, “masters of accounting”? The Zohar is precise: taking stock must be done as a master

10:10 of accounting—as the owner. When accounts are kept, there is an accountant. Some people do that for a living; they are paid for it. There is an accountant, a bookkeeper. He is not called the master of accounting. There is the owner. The owner has a shop, a factory, or something else, and he has—what do you call it?—an employee whose job is to keep the books. The person keeping the books does not really care whether there is a profit. His job is to give an account. At the end of the day, the year, or the month, he has to come and say, “All right, there was this much profit and this much expense.” That’s it. But the master is the owner. When the owner goes over the accounts, it is entirely different. Every detail matters to him. If there was a profit, he is happy. If things went the other way, he is sad. It is his business, his shop. So here we are talking about a person’s own spiritual affairs. That is why the Alter Rebbe emphasizes “to fulfill the teaching of the holy Zohar, to be among the masters of accounting.” Take stock of yourself the way an owner goes over his accounts: every expense and every bit of income matters to you. That kind of reckoning stirs a person and brings him to teshuvah. What period should this reckoning cover? He says, “from the day he came into being.” The wording here is also very interesting: “from the day he came into being until today.” At first glance, what does “from the day he came into being” mean? From the day a person was born? Who can take stock of his life from the day he was born? Who remembers? We don’t remember what happened five minutes ago. We see that there were great tzaddikim. They say the Rebbe from Vilna[?] once said of himself that he could give an account of every thought, word, and deed over forty

12:12 years. That is something quite extraordinary. And they say there was a chossid of a high spiritual level, Reb Moshe Vilenker, who is mentioned in Hayom Yom. Who was Reb Moshe Vilenker? He was from Rechovos. In any case, he was a person of high spiritual standing, connected with the Alter Rebbe’s maamarim. But an ordinary person—even for him, what exactly does “from the day he came into being” mean? The plain meaning is not the day he was born. It means from the time he began to have awareness. In other words, from when he became a mentsch, from when he began to be a person who takes charge of himself and knows what is going on with him. That is what “from the day he came into being” means. It could be from his bar mitzvah; it could also be later. From the moment a person decided to take himself in hand, do teshuvah, and begin serving Hashem seriously; from when he became aware of himself, aware of his thoughts, words, and actions. In any case, he must take stock of himself “from the day he came into being until today”: were they all on the side of holiness, or on the side of impurity, G-d forbid? The Alter Rebbe says—what does “on the side of holiness” or “on the side of impurity” mean? One might think impurity means sins. What does impurity mean here? The person we are discussing has committed no serious sins. So what does impurity mean? What impurity are we talking about? The Alter Rebbe immediately explains: “That is, all the thoughts, words, and actions that are not for Hashem, for His will, or for His service.” By “the side of impurity,” we do not mean specifically committing a sin. We do not mean grave offenses. We mean any thought, word, or action that is not connected with serving Hashem—“for Hashem, for His will, or for His service.” “For Hashem, for His will, or for His service”—“which is the meaning of sitra achra, as explained above in chapter 6.” There is an explanation of what “for Hashem, for His will, or for His service” means. “For Hashem” means a thought of cleaving to Him Himself, of the greatness

14:12 of Hashem. That is called “for Hashem.” “For His will” means fulfilling the mitzvos. Anything connected with Torah and mitzvos is called “for His will.” And “for His service” means any mundane act done for the sake of Heaven. In other words, even permissible activities are holy when they are done for the sake of Heaven. But when something is not for Hashem, not for His will, and not for His service—even if the thoughts concern things that are permissible in themselves—when they are not for the sake of Heaven, they become impurity. That is the meaning of sitra achra: anything that is not nullified to Hakadosh Boruch Hu. “Which is the meaning of sitra achra, as explained above in chapter 6.” We learned in chapter 6 that the Alter Rebbe explained that sitra achra means “the other side,” the side that is not holiness. And what does “the other side,” the side that is not holiness, mean? The side of holiness is anything that is openly nullified to Hakadosh Boruch Hu. Anything that is not nullified to Hakadosh Boruch Hu is kelipah and sitra achra. The Alter Rebbe established this principle there, in chapter 6 of Tanya. Holiness means the oneness of Hashem, bittul. Anything in which G-dliness does not shine, which is not connected with the oneness of Hashem—even if the thing itself is permissible—is kelipah and sitra achra, and is therefore called impurity. There is the impurity of the three kelipos, and there is the impurity of kelipas nogah, but it is impurity. It is the opposite of holiness. It is not G-dliness; it is exile. So when you reflect and pay attention to your thoughts, words, and actions, you find thoughts, words, and actions that are not for Hashem. There is the maamar Ani L’Dodi, the well-known Ani L’Dodi maamar of the Alter Rebbe in Likkutei Torah, page 32. There the Alter Rebbe says: “Needless to say, forbidden things, but even permissible things—things not done in the King’s presence, excessive idle talk.” That is called a desert. There, something...

16:01 The Alter Rebbe describes it as “a desert land.” The idea of a desert is thought, speech, and action that are not for Hashem, His will, or His service. Hakadosh Boruch Hu is not there; He does not dwell there. Here the Alter Rebbe gives us details to help a person bring about humility in his heart. He says that when a person recognizes that he has thoughts, words, and actions that are not for Hashem, he should know this: When a Jew thinks holy thoughts, he becomes, at that moment, a vehicle for the chambers of holiness from which those thoughts flow to him. When a person thinks about the siddur, Torah, mitzvos, or matters of holiness, he becomes a vehicle for those chambers, because his thoughts come from there. And conversely, at that moment he becomes an impure vehicle for the chambers of impurity from which all evil thoughts flow. The same applies to speech and action. When a person thinks improper thoughts, speaks words that are not for Hashem, or acts in that way, at that moment he becomes a vehicle for kelipah and the sitra achra. The power and vitality he has to speak and think come from there. How does he have the power to do that now? Everything in the world needs Divine energy. How does he have the power to think improper thoughts or to speak that way? It is because there is a higher vitality that is in exile. The Rebbe explains in Igeres Hateshuvah, chapter 6, that a higher vitality descends through the seventy ministering angels, through the exile of the Shechinah as it becomes enclothed in kelipah, and from there vitality reaches the person. It follows that when a person thinks undesirable thoughts, he becomes a vehicle for the sitra achra. Contemplating this will humble him and help him detach himself from those thoughts, words, and actions themselves. There is a story told about Reb Gronem Esterman. Reb Shlomo Chaim would tell this story about the well-known mashpia in Lubavitch, Reb Gronem. Reb Gronem was

18:04 a chossid of the Rebbe Maharash. After his wedding, he came to the Rebbe Maharash. As Reb Gronem later told the bochurim, after his wedding he had experienced a certain decline. What does “decline” mean at Reb Gronem’s level? In any case, he came to the Rebbe Maharash, and the Rebbe Maharash told him that after his wedding, a Jew must once again do teshuvah for the sins of his youth. So he told the Rebbe Maharash that he had none. None. He had no sins of his youth. The Rebbe Maharash said to him, “What do you think? Am I speaking about gross sins of youth? Do you think that’s what we’re talking about?” Yes, there are serious sins of youth. But did he think that was what the Rebbe Maharash meant? Then he began to cry and asked for a remedy. The Rebbe Maharash told him to study Derech Chaim. The story goes that he studied Derech Chaim until, whenever he saw the book, he would immediately begin to cry. There are several versions of the details of how the story ends. But as I recall, the Rebbe Maharash eventually told him that it was enough and he no longer needed to study it. That was the story. In other words, there are serious sins of youth, and there are also... there is this matter of improper, idle thoughts. Why are those also considered akin to sins of youth? We are now in Menachem Av, approaching Tishrei. We are studying these matters just at the time of the days of... this is the time for taking stock of oneself and doing teshuvah. The Rebbe spoke on Shabbos Parshas Vaeschanan about the fifteenth of Av. That year, the fifteenth of Av fell on Friday, and there was a farbrengen on Shabbos. The fifteenth

20:20 of Av, after all, was the occasion for that farbrengen. The Rebbe said that from the fifteenth of Av, one begins preparing for Rosh Hashanah. As it says in the seforim, the numerical value of “the fifteenth of Av” is the same as “May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.” Preparations for Rosh Hashanah begin on the fifteenth of Av. The Rebbe spoke at length about the need to take stock of oneself. Already from Shabbos Parshas Vaeschanan, one must begin that process. Of course, one needs to do this throughout the year, but Elul is a time to take stock: What did I do over the course of the year? The Rebbe said that it begins now, on Shabbos Parshas Vaeschanan. From the fifteenth of Av, one begins taking stock of oneself. That Shabbos—and if I’m not mistaken, it was the same Shabbos—the Rebbe also introduced the idea of the Vaad Hamosifin, the committee for making additions. The Rebbe made a great stir about the need for an orderly study schedule and for doing more, and about each person taking stock of what he had done. This continued a theme from that period, when the Rebbe had unexpectedly asked people to report three positive actions, three additions or resolutions that each person had made over the past year. On Shabbos Parshas Vaeschanan, the Rebbe spoke about this further. The Rebbe made a very special stir about the fact that a time comes when one must take stock: What have I done over the year? A long time can pass before a person realizes that he has done nothing, that he has made no additions. The Rebbe strongly emphasized then that there must be positive actions, that there must be additions. The Rebbe wanted a committee, with people appointed to oversee it, who would regularly write to him about each person and what he had done

22:29 as an actual addition in practice. The Rebbe appointed a committee. He made a whole revolution, a great stir, over this matter. I remember that I was in yeshivah at the time, and we set up a committee there too, as they did in other places. In each shul, reports were collected every week from all the bochurim. Each person had to write down what he had done that week as an addition, whether in Torah study, avodah, tzedakah, or mivtzoim. They collected it all and sent it to the Rebbe. Rabbi Chodakov and Reb Nissan Mindel were in charge. In short, at the end of every week they had to fax in the positive actions and additions. This went on for years. I never knew what happened with it. I was in charge at the yeshivah then, and every week we wrote our reports. A few years later, I saw that a complete list really did reach the Rebbe, with names and details. Photocopies were published somewhere. It said, for example, “Montreal Yeshivah,” and listed what they had studied and what they had done. All the details, down to the smallest details, reached the Rebbe, and they were taken to the Ohel as well. It was a whole undertaking. At any rate, we are now close to the fifteenth of Av, and we happen to be studying bitterness and taking stock of oneself. This is the time to begin entering the atmosphere of Elul. In practical terms, that means being a little more serious, taking this period and this time to begin working on ourselves, preparing for Rosh Hashanah, preparing for the days of teshuvah. Anyway, that’s the point.