How to Deal with Addictions? | 5 Practical Pieces of Advice from Tanya

00:00 One of the challenges the world is grappling with today is mental health. As for physical health, may Hakadosh Boruch Hu grant each and every one of us health and wholeness in both body and soul. When it comes to physical health, thank G-d, there have been tremendous advances in every area of medicine. There have also been major advances recently in our understanding of the mind and mental health. Yet especially in recent years, we’ve seen many challenges in this area. There is a great deal of suffering of all kinds—stress, anxiety, addictions. We see it particularly in our generation, with developments in technology and in the world, and with everyone knowing about everyone else. There is an overwhelming amount of information, and it has brought about many kinds of challenges, or mental illnesses, that need treatment. Thank G-d, there are many ways of treating them today. Today we want to talk about mental health through the lens of Tanya. The Alter Rebbe’s Tanya is, of course, a book about serving Hashem. In its introduction, the Alter Rebbe writes that his book comes to explain how a Jew should serve Hakadosh Boruch Hu: “For this matter is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to do it.” But Tanya also gives us extraordinarily helpful guidance that can help a person become healthier emotionally and mentally. So much so that chassidim in earlier generations even had a saying that Tanya is a kind of “Book of Remedies.” The Frierdiker Rebbe also relates in his letters that when the Alter Rebbe was preparing to print Tanya, he asked for an endorsement

02:31 for the book from two tzaddikim, fellow students of the Maggid of Mezritch. One was Reb Zusha of Anipoli, and the other was Reb Yehuda Leib HaKohen. One of them, after looking through Tanya, reading and studying it before writing his endorsement, described Tanya as “incense for the soul and spirit.” In other words, Tanya is a book of healing—like the incense. That image comes from the Torah, and especially from the Zohar, where the incense is described as helping to stop plagues. When plagues broke out, the incense was used. In Parshas Korach, the Torah tells how the incense was used to stop a plague. The Zohar also tells a story in which people recited the passage about the incense and thereby ended plagues and brought healing. So Tanya, too, is a kind of incense. Studying Tanya and following its guidance can heal the illnesses, the plagues, that would arise before the coming of Moshiach. He was explaining that before the coming of Moshiach there would be periods of many challenges, particularly challenges affecting the soul and spirit, and Tanya offers answers and guidance for them. Reb Zusha of Anipoli, it is said, spoke of Tanya as a book of Geulah. He said that with Tanya we would leave exile. Tanya helps us prepare for the Geulah. So, returning to the challenges of mental health—to the many issues we know need attention in our generation—let’s see how we can draw very practical guidance from Tanya. Today we’ll focus especially on addiction, one of the more central issues. We see how much the younger generation in particular suffers from

04:51 addictions. Addiction means that a person becomes so preoccupied with something that he loses control. He feels he has no control over himself. He does it, even though he knows it is destructive, that it is not good or healthy for his body or his soul. And he keeps falling into it again and again, getting caught up in it. Now, I want to emphasize that when we talk about addictions, we might think we mean something extreme. “What do addictions have to do with me?” People usually think addiction means being dependent on something very serious, like alcohol or drugs—severe addictions. But the truth is that there are many kinds of addictions that may seem less serious. Each of us knows there are certain things where I try and try and try, yet I fall again and again. Especially in our generation, technology has brought us many kinds of addictions: wasting hours on unnecessary things; visiting websites we know are unhealthy for us mentally, unhealthy for our souls; even things that are forbidden, serious things that harm us in every way, and so on. These things are well known. Of course, there are many kinds of treatment and approaches to treatment—emotional, psychological, physical, and medicinal. How do we deal with different addictions? What I want to point out today are several very important ideas that can truly save a person, if we take them seriously. There is much we could say about Tanya’s teachings on this, but I’ll touch on at least a few points. Today we’ll discuss perhaps five—five points from Tanya. If we reflect on them,

07:06 they can give us a great deal of strength, and also the courage to break free from addiction. Because one of the things we all ask is: Is it really possible to get out of it? When a person realizes that he is caught up in something, addicted, unable to break free, he may conclude that it’s over. “It’s over” means: That’s it, I’m a person without hope. I can’t do it. I can’t fix this. I can’t get out of it. End of story. I’m filthy, I’m coarse, I’ve sunk so low, and so on. All kinds of feelings follow, affecting how he sees himself. The question is: Can I really do it, or can’t I? Can a person recover from addiction? How? What guidance is there? So let’s take a few points. Point number one, the good news the Alter Rebbe gives us in Tanya, is that our essence is healthy and will always remain healthy. The innermost essence of each of us is, in Tanya’s words, that every Jew is “truly a part of G-d above.” That is who we really are. You have a soul; you have a spark. That spark has never left you and never will. It is the deepest, innermost, truest and purest part of you, and it is always pure. Knowing that there is a healthy point within us, whose health is eternal and essential and will never change, should give us tremendous strength. We can know that there is always a way out. There is a way to overcome this. You have the strength. You never become a repulsive person, because in your essence you are pure, holy, a part of G-d above. And that is why you also have the strength to overcome it. This brings us to the second point: When a person says, “I can’t stop doing this,”

09:33 I can’t get out of this. I have to; I’m compelled to. But the moment I know who I truly am, I come to the conclusion: I absolutely can. One of the things the Alter Rebbe teaches us in Tanya is that there is only one thing a Jew truly cannot do. One thing, and one thing only: a Jew cannot be separate from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. A Jew cannot disconnect from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. Why? Because that is my essential self. You cannot disconnect from your essential self, and who I am is a Jew, an actual part of G-d above. That is my essence, my true nature, the deepest point within me. Everything else consists of things I want. I love them, I’m drawn to them—very strongly drawn to them, very attached and connected to them. But they are not who I am. And if they are not who I am, they are something additional. They cover me. They are something added on, a garment; they are not you. And if they are not you, then you can overcome them. This is a fundamental, essential point the Alter Rebbe tells us. We absolutely can overcome every desire and craving, because those desires, cravings, attractions and urges are something added on to me. They cover me. They are not me. Who I am is the Jew within me. Once I know that my true self is the Jew within me, I know I have strength. That gives you the full conviction to say: At my core, in my essence, I am a healthy person, and therefore, with Hashem’s help, I can overcome this. The evil in me, the filth—that is not me. It is something additional, and it needs to be cleaned away. That is the first point. The second point the Alter Rebbe tells us, which is extremely important in the process of healing, is not to deceive ourselves. That is the other side of the picture. Sometimes a person can live with a kind of falsehood, a deception.

11:54 Everything’s fine, everything’s okay. Nothing happened. Fine, I failed. I’ll erase it, and I’m still okay—a normal person. And then the person covers it up: “Love covers all transgressions.” Here, then, is the other side of the coin. The Alter Rebbe teaches us in Tanya that a Jew does not deceive himself. A person has to recognize reality as it is, and acknowledge and understand that the moment I do something I know Hakadosh Boruch Hu does not want, something the Torah forbids, I disconnect myself. I separate myself. I cause a disconnection, and I do not want that, because I am a Jew, and a Jew does not want to—and cannot—be separate. What happens, as we said earlier, is a spirit of folly. There is a kind of foolishness, a kind of dullness, that the yetzer places upon us to try to deceive us. But I don’t want to be a fool; I don’t want to be senseless. In the Alter Rebbe’s words in Tanya: “And I do not want to be a fool like him, denying the truth.” A person needs to be aware of his inner truth. Once I am aware of the inner truth—that I am a Jew and that this is my true essence, and that as a Jew I want to be connected to Hakadosh Boruch Hu, I love Hakadosh Boruch Hu—that is the true reality. I don’t have to build it. I don’t have to search for it. It is who I am; it is my truth. And because of that truth, I truly do not want to be separate from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. I don’t want to disconnect. And I recognize that these things will necessarily try to disconnect me from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. We have to know the truth. Once a person knows the truth and says, “I don’t want to be a fool. I don’t want to be stupid and let that spirit of folly take control of me,” that itself gives him strength. Why?

14:00 As the Alter Rebbe explains, every person has strength. A person has an inner power: the power to overcome his desires. A person has the power to control his thoughts, speech and actions. Where does that power come from? First of all, as we said, the soul is stronger. The soul is a part of G-d above. The G-dly part of me is the strongest thing there is. It comes from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. It is a G-dly power, and G-dly power is infinite power. So when a person says, “I can’t,” that is false. What do you mean, you can’t? You have infinite G-dly power! Your strength is truly G-dly strength. The destructive part of you, the filthy part, the coarse part, the yetzer—that is not who you are. It is also not something real, and therefore it has no real power. In Tanya, the Alter Rebbe compares evil—the yetzer hara, the animal soul—to a kind of balloon that inflates itself. In the language of Tanya, it is kelipah: evil, impurity, a shell. It is not something real. It is a kind of balloon full of air, puffing itself up and making itself seem like something big. In truth, Hakadosh Boruch Hu placed this whole situation before us to test a person, to test our strengths and reveal the extraordinary strengths within us. He put this thing there so a person would encounter the test and suddenly feel that something is terribly difficult. But if he knows the truth—that this thing is not real, that it is only an illusion, a spirit of folly, and not who I am; that who I am is a part of G-d above, a G-dly part—then he knows there is infinite power here, G-dly power. So clearly that G-dly power, which is my

16:06 essential self, is much stronger than this other force, which is only an illusion. The moment I reveal that, I have the ability to break through that kelipah, to bring out my G-dly power and overcome the destructive force that wants to ruin me and pull me into all those things that are not good. So the first point is to recognize my true essence—that essential power to overcome everything. The second is not to deceive myself, and to understand what this spirit of folly is that wants to disconnect me from the truth. And I have the power to overcome it, because my true self is so much stronger. From this, the Alter Rebbe also gives us some practical advice for the process. Sometimes a person says, “I can’t—look, I fell again.” So one of the things the Alter Rebbe tells us is to value every deed, to value every action. A person does not need to seek perfection. Sometimes our problem is that we are already looking for it to be over: for it to end, for everything to be good. I won’t have the addiction anymore. I’ll be healthy, I’ll be good, I’ll be okay, and I’ll be able to do whatever I want. We all want the freedom to live with peace of mind. So the Alter Rebbe comes along in Tanya and tells us: First of all, you will never be finished with this. Don’t lie to yourself. And you are not supposed to be finished with it. That is not a problem. Not only is it not a problem; on the contrary, this is why you were created. Know that Hakadosh Boruch Hu created you this way. It is not your fault. Hakadosh Boruch Hu created you with a G-dly soul, an actual part of G-d above, and He also created you with a body and an animal soul. There is a purpose here. There is a battle here, and the battle is the purpose. Hakadosh Boruch Hu wants a person to fight, and

18:30 Hakadosh Boruch Hu derives nachas, extraordinary pleasure and delight, from every single moment that a Jew defeats the yetzer. Not that he has no yetzer—he certainly does. He has a yetzer; he has urges, negative urges. But every time I stand firm, overcome my urge and defeat it, I bring tremendous nachas to Hakadosh Boruch Hu. The Alter Rebbe quotes the Zohar, in Parshas Terumah: “When the other side is subdued.” Every time a person subdues his desires—every act of iskafya, every time you restrain yourself, control your urges and overcome even one negative thought that you wanted to think but did not, one negative thing you wanted to say but did not, or one negative deed—every act of iskafya brings tremendous nachas Above. “When the other side is subdued,” says the Zohar, the infinite light of Hakadosh Boruch Hu is revealed throughout all the worlds. More than through any other mitzvah, more than through anything else. When a person manages to overcome his yetzer in some particular matter, he should appreciate it, value every single time. A person does not need to seek perfection; he needs to value the moment. Today I won. Today I stood firm for another day. Another day, another action, another action. And he needs to know how to rejoice, to celebrate every such action, every act of iskafya. And throughout your life, don’t try to run away from this. Don’t try to deceive yourself and say, “I’m clean now, I’m okay now.” Because often with addiction, what happens is that the moment a person says, “I’m okay now, I’m clean now,” he falls and fails because he stops guarding himself. So the Alter Rebbe tells us in Tanya: Don’t imagine that you are on the level of a tzaddik. Don’t become so proud of yourself that you think you are on the level of a tzaddik and have reached a point where everything is fine. No—the beinoni, which is one

20:56 One of the main things the Tanya speaks about is a person whose whole life is a process of healing. His whole life is a struggle. That destructive force that wants to bring us down is always there. It is within us not because there is some desire to make us fall, as some people think. On the contrary, the real reason, as the Tanya explains, citing the Zohar, is that Hakadosh Boruch Hu believes in our strengths. Hakadosh Boruch Hu knows that we can do it, and He knows that whenever we overcome ourselves, we become stronger. It brings out our inner strength. A king tests his son because he knows the wonderful strengths hidden within the prince. And precisely when there are tests and the prince withstands them, the tremendous strengths hidden within him are revealed. That is why we have these difficulties, this struggle: every time we withstand a test and overcome it, more wonderful strengths within us are revealed. The holiness within us comes out, bursts forth, grows and develops. Along with it, as we said, the infinite G-dly light is revealed in the world through every act of self-restraint. That is the wonderful thing, and that is what we live for. And here the Alter Rebbe teaches us another point: not to get into arguments. Often we waste energy and fall into the trap because we start arguing. You start getting into all kinds of explanations and philosophies about why something is forbidden, what is wrong with it, and how it is not good for you. You start reading books, contemplating and thinking, and in the end you get dirty. If you wrestle with someone filthy, you get filthy yourself. The very act of wrestling with him dirties me. The Alter Rebbe says: No. The way is not to think and contemplate, to get into philosophies, to delve into why this came to me and where it came from, or to dig around inside yourself looking for the root of

23:12 the problem, the root of... why I get drawn into these kinds of things. Because there you keep returning to the dirt. The way is light. The way is to keep going, be strong, overcome it, and understand that this is a struggle. The moment you begin to daven, begin to learn, begin to do good things, the other side gets up too. That is not a problem. If you have thoughts during davening, bad thoughts, or you want to start learning and suddenly all kinds of difficulties and tests come your way, it is not because something is wrong with you. No, that is life itself. A struggle is a struggle. There is a yetzer tov and a yetzer hara. As long as the yetzer tov is asleep, the yetzer hara is asleep too; it has no problems. The moment a person awakens to teshuvah, awakens to take action, the other side awakens too. So the way is not to pay attention to it. The normal, healthy way is to keep going. Keep going firmly, with still greater strength and vigor; daven with more life, with more enthusiasm, and after a few minutes it will fade. Do not get caught up in calculations. Instead, throw yourself into davening, throw yourself into learning, do another good deed. Be so busy—as one of the tzaddikim once said, “I do not ask my chassidim, my students, not to have a yetzer hara or not to have desires to do wrong. Just that they should not have time.” Be so busy with light and goodness that you have no time to think about sinning or to fall into things that are not good. So we have already discussed four points, and now we come to the fifth. It is a truly wonderful point that the Alter Rebbe makes in Tanya. Sometimes I try all this and see that it is not working. I try to daven, try to learn, try to do good things, and again the yetzer chases me, the thoughts chase me, the cravings chase me,

25:14 and I feel as though I am simply going to explode. I cannot do it. It is just too strong for me. There are moments when a person feels it is getting stronger, that it is overwhelming him. What do I do then? The Alter Rebbe tells us something wonderful at the end of chapter 28 of Tanya. When a person feels that way, he should lower his eyes—I am putting this in my own words. The Alter Rebbe says, “He should humble his soul before Hashem and beseech Him in his thoughts.” A person needs to close his eyes and beseech Hakadosh Boruch Hu in his mind, saying: “Master of the Universe, help me. Be with me. I am Your child.” Ask Hakadosh Boruch Hu to save me from the raging waters. You can do it; You can do anything. And I have within my soul a part of G-d, a spark, a part of You, so be with me here. “And He will do so for His own sake, for His people are Hashem’s portion.” Those are the Alter Rebbe’s words. Hakadosh Boruch Hu will certainly help us. So sometimes a person simply needs to ask Hakadosh Boruch Hu, “Please, Hashem, give me a hand, help me,” and Hakadosh Boruch Hu helps us. So, to conclude, five points we learned from Tanya—practical points that will give us the strength to overcome ourselves, take ourselves in hand and be strong. First, to know and remember the healthy, strong part of ourselves, the source of strength that is always and forever within us. That is the healthy part, and so I am never... the situation is never irreversible. On the contrary, I always have the strength, and I can do it. That gives me energy, firmness and courage. Second, to know the truth and not deceive ourselves, and to tell myself: I do not want to be a fool; I do not want to be stupid. I want to truly be who I really am. To know that holiness is my true self. The evil, the darkness—that is not me; it is only a covering, and therefore I

27:52 can overcome it. The third point is to remember that this is life. It is every day. To cherish every day of struggle, cherish every act of iskafya, cherish every deed, and know that I will be facing this challenge my whole life—and that is the most wonderful thing. It gives Hakadosh Boruch Hu the greatest pleasure, and with that understanding I live and serve Hashem with joy and a glad heart. To know the wonderful power in each and every one of our actions. The fourth point is not to get into—not to be drawn into arguments, intricate debates and all kinds of contemplation that lead nowhere. Rather, stay busy, turn your attention away, disconnect from all the... Know that the moment I take action, the other side also tries to interfere, and my task is to do the opposite. Light dispels darkness. And the fifth point: when necessary, know that Hakadosh Boruch Hu is with us. Know to turn to Hakadosh Boruch Hu and say, “Master of the Universe, please help me,” and Hakadosh Boruch Hu is with us. And let us end with a word from the weekly parsha, Parshas Bo: “Come to Pharaoh.” There is the well-known question: “Come to Pharaoh”—why “come”? It should say “go.” Hakadosh Boruch Hu is speaking to Moshe. Moshe needs to go. What does it mean to “come”? The sefarim explain, based on the Zohar, that Moshe Rabbeinu had to enter and fight against impurity. Pharaoh symbolizes impurity, evil and darkness. Moshe Rabbeinu is afraid to confront that darkness, that evil, the great crocodile lying in his streams—Pharaoh, who says, “My river is mine, and I made myself.” Hakadosh Boruch Hu says to him: “Moshe, you have nothing to fear. I am with you. Come, together. We are going together.” We need to know that we are never alone. Hakadosh Boruch Hu goes with us. He goes with us into this struggle. Knowing that we are not alone, and knowing that we can always ask Hakadosh Boruch Hu, “Please, Hashem, help me”—that itself

30:14 lifts us out of the lowest depths, out of the depths of the mud, out of the depths of darkness, and raises us into the great light. That is what gives us the strength to heal from all the spiritual afflictions and prepare ourselves for the great light, the light of the Geulah. First, our personal Geulah, our inner Geulah from all the things weighing on us, and from there to reach the complete Geulah, the true Geulah through Moshiach Tzidkeinu. Amen, may it be so.