Matos: 5786 - Parshas Ki Teitzei is packed with mitzvos, including the laws of a man's two wives and the firstborn. Rabbi Shimon Sonnenfeld reveals the special explanation for the ban of Rabbeinu Gershom, and connects between the firstborn,…

00:00 Speaker 1 Please.

00:03 Speaker 2 Parshas Ki Seitzei has a great many mitzvos—the most of any single parsha. At the beginning of the parsha, the Torah says, “If a man takes two wives,” “If a man has two wives.” There is a well-known question from the Chasam Sofer: How could Rabbeinu Gershom, one of the Rishonim, prohibit taking two wives under a ban? The Torah itself explicitly says it is permitted: “If a man has two wives.” So how could he prohibit something the Torah explicitly permits? There are many answers; we’ll just touch on them. One answer given is that the man married the second wife unlawfully. When the verse says “one loved and one hated,” it means he married her “in hatred.” What does “in hatred” mean? In violation of the law—she was not permitted to him. So the fact that he has two wives does not mean he married both of them lawfully; the second was forbidden to him. You therefore cannot prove from here that the Torah explicitly permits having two wives. That is one answer people offer. Another explanation of how he could prohibit it is that Rabbeinu Gershom’s ban was for a limited time. They say he decreed it for only a thousand years. Since it was only for a limited time, there is no problem with his prohibiting a man from taking two wives. But there is another, very interesting explanation, a more spiritual one. We know that Rabbeinu Gershom is called Me’or Hagolah, “the Light of the Exile.” Of all the Rishonim, he is the only one with that title. Why? It is connected to this matter. The explanation goes like this: The Jewish people are still in exile because “because of our sins, we were exiled from our land.” And since they have not yet done teshuvah—as evidenced by the fact that they are still in exile—for the Rambam rules that when the Jewish people do teshuvah, they are immediately redeemed. Since they are still in exile, that means they have not yet

02:29 Speaker 2 done teshuvah. The bond between Hakadosh Boruch Hu and the Jewish people is like the bond between a man and his wife. We say, “An inheritance for the congregation of Yaakov”—do not read morashah, “inheritance,” but me’orasah, “betrothed.” And “on the day of His wedding, on the day of His heart’s rejoicing” refers to the giving of the Torah, which was, so to speak, the betrothal of Hakadosh Boruch Hu and the Jewish people. But when the Jewish people do not conduct themselves as they should and they sin, then, “If you do not desire her”—Hakadosh Boruch Hu does not want them. He then has two options. Two options. One is to divorce them, even against their will. The Jewish people themselves do not want to be divorced, because a Jew cannot and does not want to be separated from Hakadosh Boruch Hu. But He could divorce them against their will. The second option is to take another wife—that is, another nation—and make it His treasured people. What did Rabbeinu Gershom do? He placed both of these things under a ban. It is forbidden to marry two women, and Rabbeinu Gershom also banned divorcing a wife against her will. And since Hakadosh Boruch Hu also observes the mitzvos—He Himself observes the mitzvos, as well as the enactments and decrees—He cannot divorce the Jewish people. That is why Rabbeinu Gershom prohibited both of these things. Later on in the Chumash, it says that if a man has two wives, one loved and one hated, and the firstborn son belongs to the hated wife, “he may not give the son of the loved wife the rights of the firstborn over the son of the hated wife, who is the firstborn.” The Gaon of Vilna, the Gra, makes an interesting point: The Hebrew word bechor, “firstborn,” alludes to the fact that he receives a double portion. How? Bechor has three letters: beis, chof, and reish. Each of these letters has twice the numerical value of the

04:36 Speaker 2 letter before it. Beis has a numerical value of two, twice that of alef. Chof has a numerical value of twenty, twice that of yud. And the same is true of reish, with a numerical value of two hundred, twice that of the kuf before it. So the word bechor itself alludes to this double portion. In the Gra’s time, there was a very extensive debate. A man married a woman and divorced her a short time later. He no longer wanted her; he hated her, so he divorced her. Afterward, he married another woman, a second wife. Now, the second wife gave birth after seven months. The first wife also gave birth, but after nine months. So which son is the firstborn who receives a double portion? In terms of conception, the child born to the first, divorced wife was the firstborn, because she had been married to him first. The other child was first only in birth. So which do we go by—birth or conception?

06:00 Speaker 3 [unclear], because after all, it is forbidden to marry until—

06:03 Speaker 2 The Gra ruled at the time that, in his opinion, this is what the verse means. If a man has two wives, one loved and one hated—that is precisely this case. The Torah is hinting that in such a case we go by conception, not birth. That was his ruling. This is also how they explain the dispute between Yaakov and Esav over the birthright. Esav came out first, so why did Yaakov take the birthright from him? He tricked him, and... yes, “and his hand was grasping Esav’s heel.” Yaakov argued that although Esav came out first, who came first in conception? Rashi gives the analogy of a narrow tube: The one who enters first comes out last. So Yaakov held that he was actually the firstborn, even though he came out afterward, because we go by conception and not by birth. This also explains what happened when Yosef brought Ephraim and Menashe to Yaakov for a blessing. Seder Hadoros says that Ephraim and Menashe were twins.

07:10 Speaker 3 They were born as twins?

07:11 Speaker 2 They were born together; they were twins. But Menashe came out first, and Ephraim after him. It says that Yaakov crossed his hands: He placed his right hand on Ephraim’s head. Yosef said to him, “No, this one is the firstborn. Menashe is the firstborn.” Yaakov answered, “I know, my son, I know.” What is meant by that expression, “I know, my son”? I hold that in such a case we go by conception, not birth. I know, but that is my view, and on a higher plane, he is the firstborn. Have a good Shabbos, and may we hear good news.

07:42 Speaker 3 Amen.