Acharei Mos - Kedoshim: 5785 - "Do not lie, one man to his fellow": Aharon HaKohen would 'change his words' in order to make peace. Is the prohibition against lying absolute? Rabbi Shimon Zonnenfeld,…

00:00 Speaker 1 Please. This Shabbos we read the weekly parsha, Acharei Mos and—Kedoshim, Kedoshim. It says this is a short parsha, but most of the fundamental principles of the Torah depend on it. There are many mitzvos in this parsha. One of the things written in Parshas Kedoshim is: “You shall not steal, you shall not deny, and you shall not lie to one another.” Right, we must not lie to each other. And here a very, very difficult question arises, one that seems to require careful thought. Is the prohibition against lying absolute? Is lying always forbidden, no matter what? Because on the one hand, we know that Aharon the Kohen, a man of kindness, would change his words to make peace between a husband and wife or between one person and another. He would come and say things that weren’t true. So is it permitted to lie or forbidden to lie? The Gemara says there are three matters in which a Torah scholar may change his words: regarding hospitality, a tractate, and a bed. Three things about which he may change his words. So is lying permitted or forbidden? The Torah says, “You shall not— you shall not lie.” On the other hand, there’s a saying that ninety-nine percent truth is one hundred percent falsehood. Because you could say, “I’m not allowed to lie, but I don’t have to tell the truth.” That’s what this saying addresses. If you tell only ninety-nine percent of the truth, it’s one hundred percent falsehood. And here’s a question that really comes up for a person—let’s give an example. When someone is asked about a potential shidduch, “Do you know this person? What do you say about them?” May he lie, must he tell the truth, or may he conceal the truth? This question can come up for anyone. Is it permitted or forbidden? Or do I say that what the Torah says, “You shall not deny”—that lying is forbidden—is absolute, regardless of the circumstances?

02:16 Speaker 1 This is a question that really needs careful thought, because it can come up for anyone. And the Rebbe said that everyone needs to “make for yourself a rav.” Right, you need to ask a rav whether, in this particular case, you have to tell the truth or not. In that connection, I heard a very interesting story. There was a Jew, a Torah scholar, who got on a bus. He had a journey of several hours ahead of him, so he brought a sefer and thought, “Now I’ll have time to study.” He sits down, and just as he opens his sefer and begins learning, someone sits down next to him with a Walkman playing music. He thinks, “Dear G-d, there goes my chance to learn.” The man next to him has a Walkman playing this pop music. What can he do? He can’t do anything. So he edges over toward the window to put a little space between himself and the person beside him, so the music won’t bother him as much. The man says to him, “Tell me, why are you moving away from me? Am I not Jewish? I’m a Jew just like you. Why are you squeezing over to the side?” The Jew says to him, “I’ll tell you the truth. I’ve just come from Shaarei Tzedek, and it turns out I have kruspedin.” So the man asks him, “Is it contagious?” He says, “It’s very contagious.” The man immediately gets up and goes to the other end of the bus. He’s sitting next to someone with some kind of disease, and it’s very contagious—why should he stay there? He runs off and sits at the back of the bus. There was also a doctor on the bus who overheard their conversation. He comes over and asks, “Tell me, I’ve been a doctor for a long time and have a lot of experience. I’ve never heard of a disease called kruspedin. What exactly is it?”

04:14 Speaker 2 I haven’t heard of it either.

04:16 Speaker 1 So he tells him, “It says in the Torah, if you look at the verse ‘They shall make tzitzis for themselves’—Rashi says ‘kruspedin.’ He has tzitzis.” So the doctor asks him, “Then why did you lie to him? You told him it was contagious.” He says, “That’s right. It says explicitly in Pirkei Avos, ‘One mitzvah leads to another mitzvah.’ It’s contagious.” So the doctor asks him, “But you said you’d just come from Shaarei Tzedek. You lied to him again.” He says, “Not at all! I really didn’t lie. I came from Shaarei Tzedek. It says, ‘Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter them and thank Hashem.’ What are ‘gates of righteousness’? The shul, where we thank Hashem. I came from shul, I’m wearing tzitzis, and I didn’t lie.” But meanwhile he got rid of that fellow, right? He ran away because he thought it was a contagious disease. This story illustrates something for us: sometimes a person says one thing, but the other person understands something else. Does that fall under what the Torah says, “You shall not deny, and you shall not lie to one another”? Right—is lying permitted or forbidden?

05:24 Speaker 2 That seems like a problem.

05:25 Speaker 1 And this is a very, very—how do you put it—a question that anyone can encounter. Is the prohibition against lying absolute, or are there sometimes circumstances in which you may change your words? As we mentioned, Aharon the Kohen did, and a Torah scholar is permitted to do so in certain cases. It isn’t absolute. There are sometimes situations in which a person may change the truth for the sake of peace or for other reasons. So [unclear]. You need to ask and clarify the matter. Wishing us a peaceful Shabbos and a week of good news.

05:54 Speaker 2 Amen. Good Shabbos.