Rabbi Peretz Chen | A fresh start every morning: how to turn the ride with the children into an experience

00:00 You never get a second chance to make a first impression. The impression made at the beginning of anything is, for the most part, what stays. Now the school year has begun for a great many teachers. For many principals, it’s important that the principles they believe in, the principles they want to guide the entire year, be there from the start in full force. Because if they establish them with full force at the beginning, that’s what will stay with the students, the staff, the teachers—everyone involved. The beginning of anything has power and strength. And now we, too, have gone back to school, and every morning one of the household’s tasks is getting everyone ready to go out. There’s something special about that morning time that we can gain a great deal from. After getting ready at home, we travel to the educational institutions—to school, kindergarten, daycare, wherever it may be. In some places, children take a bus or walk, but in many, many places the parents—Dad or Mom or both—take the children and drop them off at their schools. That drive together in the car can be just a practical matter: you drive and accompany them to where they study. But you can gain something tremendous from that drive, something that will stay with them for the rest of the day and also give them, deep down, a powerful sense of home, family, love, and closeness. So we’re driving in the car, and let’s break it down for a moment. First, getting into the car usually takes a tremendous amount of energy. By then the children are dressed, their bags are packed with their sandwiches, they’re ready, and they want this and don’t want that. By the time we get into the car, we’ve often used up all our strength persuading them, bribing them, whatever it takes—every home has its own situation. But

02:18 they’re in the car now. We need a breather, and we deserve one two hundred percent. We worked hard for it. So it’s always nice to sit in the car with a cup of instant coffee or a glass of cold water—whatever each of us likes—and set off. We start driving, take a few sips, calm down, and breathe in the car’s air-conditioned air. Then, as I said earlier, we could make the drive purely practical: we drove, we arrived, now get out, get out here. We could also turn on the news in the car and catch up on everything that’s happened. But honestly, between us, these days I wouldn’t recommend it—not just for me, but especially for the children. Why do they need to hear first thing in the morning about everything that’s happened, what might happen, and all the forecasts? Sadly, it isn’t exactly cheerful stuff. Maybe it isn’t healthy for us, either, to catch up on all that first thing in the morning. Instead, we can make the drive a family experience. As we’re driving, with the cup of coffee I made for myself, I can say, “Children, let’s say l’chaim! L’chaim to a successful day, with Hashem’s help. May we be happy today, do well in our studies, and hear good news. And when we see each other at the end of the day, everyone can share what happened. L’chaim!” We can even address each child by name: “L’chaim, Yossi. May you do well today. I know you have a test today—may you do well on it. And may you do well with the task you have to do in class.” In that way, we can personally wish each of them success in what lies ahead. Suddenly the drive becomes a whole farbrengen. In one of the talks quite a long time ago—I don’t remember how many months back—I also spoke about the morning drive. That time, the subject was the music we play in the car. You can put on whatever music is on the radio. Yes,

04:35 today there are radio stations that play music considered, as they say, religious and kosher. Fine, you can do that. But you can do something better—much better. In most cars today, or at least in many of them, your phone connects to the car’s Bluetooth, and you can play songs with real Jewish content: nigunim, Chabad nigunim. I spoke in that talk about the world of music, which has different kinds of songs. Broadly speaking, music falls into three categories. There are nigunim called mechuvanim—nigunim composed by tzaddikim, up to and including the Rebbe. There are nigunim called memula’im, nigunim with Jewish content that a G-d-fearing Jewish chossid sang with genuine devotion. And there are foolish nigunim: everything else, even tunes by the most religious, most strictly observant singers. They’re simply set to some verse or something like that. The more we play music in the car that reaches toward the higher level of a nigun memula or a nigun mechuvan, the more strength we put into their souls from the start of the day. So we really can turn that drive into a whole farbrengen. After we’ve calmed ourselves down, of course—that’s very important. After we’ve had our drink. What they’ll gain from it is very, very valuable. Mornings have a special power. The Rebbe always spoke about this: in schools that teach both Torah studies and general subjects, the Rebbe said Torah studies should be taught in the morning and general subjects afterward, because the mind takes things in much better in the morning. It often happens that we hear a tune in the morning, and suddenly at seven in the evening we’re humming it and don’t know where it came from. Ah, we heard it that morning. There’s a verse in the Torah: “The first of your dough shall be challah”—give the first portion to Hashem. Give it to Hashem. The first part of the day should be devoted to holiness, because it has

06:46 the greatest power. And that is our task. When we drive with our children in the morning, we aren’t just drivers taking them from point A to point B. No. There are drivers for that. We aren’t drivers; we’re their parents. Our aim during that drive, in those five or ten minutes, is to give them something—something important to carry with them on their way. So let’s sum up. We start the morning with the children by having a farbrengen in the car. We say l’chaim over our cup of coffee, over their glass of water, and wish them success throughout the day. We’ll also try to play suitable music for them, music that will fill their souls with the strength of holiness, Judaism, and purity. That way they can reach very, very great heights, with Hashem’s help. When things begin the right way, they continue the right way, too. So I think it’s a small tip, but one worth a great deal. A small tip worth so much. May we all have abundant blessing, success, and much, much nachas, with Hashem’s help. May it be a productive, successful school year, and may the children progress this year to the best places we can imagine, with Hashem’s help. May our people be blessed, and may we soon, with Hashem’s help, see all the hostages return healthy and safe. Amen. May every single person who is ill recover. May the soldiers be healthy and come to no harm—not a hair fall from the head of any of our male or female soldiers. And may we merit, with Hashem’s help, the complete Geulah and the resurrection of the dead very soon. Amen, may it be His will. Thank you very much.