Rabbi Peretz Chen | - Iron Swords - What should we say to the children in such difficult days?

00:00 Hello. So the morning before last, on Shabbos morning, Simchas Torah, we woke up here in Ashkelon to the sound of a siren. Then came another siren, and another. We understood that something was happening, and little by little, reports began coming in about what was really happening on the ground. I was in shul when someone came in and started telling us what had been happening since the morning. The reports were difficult, shocking, and frightening. Suddenly I realized that I wasn’t the only one hearing this. My son, a young child sitting beside me, was hearing the same things I was. If I, as an adult, was struggling to take in what we were being told, what about him, a young child with a young mind? How was he processing it inside? What was it doing to him? Who knows? Who knows what it does to them? So in today’s class, we’ll talk about what we as parents need to do at a time like this to give our children strength, confidence, calm, and the knowledge and faith that, with Hashem’s help, things will work out and be okay, that they themselves will be okay, and that they needn’t become too anxious. What we’ll discuss today can help them right now, with what’s happening, and also give them values that, with Hashem’s help, will stay with them throughout their lives. But let’s begin with this: at a time like this, what must guide us as parents above all is our children’s well-being and peace of mind. Sometimes we make a decision one way or another because we worry about how others will judge us. For example, for some families, the best thing right now is simply to pack up and leave. Those living in areas under heavier bombardment may need to pack up and go somewhere else, if they can, if they have somewhere to go. For others, staying at home, in their

02:15 natural, familiar surroundings, where there’s a safe room and what they need, is the best place for the children. It’s the right thing for them. Parents can sense what’s best for their children. For some, it’s best to send the children to their grandparents while the parents stay home, because, for one reason or another, it’s more important for them to be there. Every family, every pair of parents, knows what’s right for them. But sometimes other people’s judgment can steer us: “If we leave, he’ll say this, she’ll say that, and they’ll think such-and-such about us.” My friends, a family’s well-being should always come first, but especially at this difficult time, we must pay no attention whatsoever to what others might think. That will pass. People like to talk, but it passes quickly. What will remain with our children, though? The experiences they carry forward won’t pass so quickly. So it’s our duty as parents to make sure that what they experience during this time is as healthy, peaceful, and calm as possible. What, then, can and should we as parents do now to give them calm and security, both now and going forward? The main thing we need to tell them is that there is Someone guiding everything that happens. Hakadosh Boruch Hu is in charge of it all. Everything that happens comes from Him, precisely through Divine Providence. This coming Shabbos is called Shabbos Bereishis. It’s the Shabbos when we begin the Torah anew, and the Torah opens with the words, “In the beginning, G-d created the heavens and the earth.” There’s a Chassidic saying: “The way a person positions himself on Shabbos Bereishis is how the entire year will be.” What does that mean? When a Jew takes to heart and understands that “In the beginning, G-d created the heavens and the earth”—

04:35 everything in the heavens, with all that includes. Speaking of which, the skies are very much in the headlines right now, with what’s happening and what’s flying overhead. “In the beginning, G-d created the heavens”—everything in the heavens, with all that includes, and everything on earth, with all that includes. Hakadosh Boruch Hu created it. Hakadosh Boruch Hu created it, and Hakadosh Boruch Hu guides it at every moment. He does everything; everything comes from Him. He is everything, and He can do anything. There is Someone guiding this story. Things don’t just happen for no reason. When we take to heart that there is Someone in charge of this story, and that Someone is our Father, Hakadosh Boruch Hu, who loves us so much, it can be deeply calming. We can tell our children that our people have been through many, many difficult periods and situations throughout history. We can simply take stories from Tanach and tell them what happened. Tell them how Avraham Avinu was thrown into a fiery furnace. Who could survive a fiery furnace? But a great miracle happened, and he survived. Tell them the story of David and Goliath: everyone was afraid of Goliath, but through the strength of his faith, David defeated the greatest of giants, the most frightening of all. And how Daniel was thrown into the lions’ den—who survives a lions’ den? But a great miracle happened, and the lions did nothing to him. Of course, before telling these stories, we should prepare and read them. Today there’s a trick to it: in this day and age, it’s very, very easy to prepare stories, read about them, and learn [unclear]. We’ll prepare well and tell our children: “Dear children, you know the Jewish people have faced difficult times before,

06:33 times when no one knew how we would be saved, but in the end, we came through them.” And of course, tell them the story of Purim, the story of Chanukah, and the Six-Day War. Tell them what happened then, how the Jewish people in Israel were terribly worried, but Hakadosh Boruch Hu protected us in an astonishing way, with all the extraordinary miracles that took place. With the Six-Day War, perhaps you can also show them some videos. There are incredible videos where you can see the fear, and see how the Lubavitcher Rebbe reassured everyone that everything would be all right, and that “the Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps”—and then see the extraordinary miracles that happened afterward. Tell them about the Gulf War. Some of us remember that war, all the tremendous anxiety there was, and the great miracles that took place. Because there is Someone in charge. Because “In the beginning, G-d created”—Hakadosh Boruch Hu created the world, and He guides and governs it. When we take that to heart, the whole year becomes much easier, because we understand that everything happens through Divine Providence. That’s what the saying means: “The way a person positions himself on Shabbos Bereishis is how the entire year will be.” If we take to heart that He is everything and everything comes from Him, then whatever happens, we can be much calmer, because there is Someone guiding this story. There’s another Chassidic saying about the words “Bereishis bara”—“In the beginning, He created.” What is “bereishis,” the beginning? What is the first, most important thing that needs to be firmly in our minds? That Hashem created the heavens and the earth. That’s the most important thing, the first thing we need to keep in mind. Because when we take that to heart, it becomes much, much easier to deal with any situation, to see

08:26 respond properly to every situation. If so, this is simply an opportunity to gather the children who are old enough to understand—not babies, of course, but children who can grasp these things. Gather them and say, “Come, listen to a story.” Tell them stories that will move them: stories of Jewish victories, stories of Divine Providence, stories of how Hakadosh Boruch Hu protected us and the Jewish people prevailed. This can give them a great deal of strength. It can teach us a great deal, too: we’ll prepare stories and learn some new things. The strength and confidence it will give the children are invaluable during this time, and they will stay with them afterward as well. We will have gained something educational for the future from those stories of strength, faith, and Divine Providence that they hear from us during this difficult time. Another thing worth introducing to children now—something that will certainly help today and stay with them afterward—is saying Tehillim. And not just saying Tehillim, but saying their personal chapter of Tehillim. As is well known, this is a custom from the holy Baal Shem Tov. He taught it to his student, the Maggid of Mezritch, who taught it to his student, the Alter Rebbe, and that is how it reached us. There is a holy custom to say your personal chapter of Tehillim each day, according to the year of life you are in. In other words, a child who is ten says chapter 11, because on turning ten, the child entered the eleventh year of life. A child who is seven says chapter 8, because on turning seven, the child entered the eighth year, and so on. Saying your personal chapter of Tehillim is a segulah for blessing and success. Many, many parents

10:35 have the custom of saying their children’s personal chapters of Tehillim every day, because it is written that when a parent says their children’s chapters, it brings the children yiras Shamayim. So this is the time to teach them: “Dear children, say your personal chapter of Tehillim.” It will connect them much more deeply. Saying Tehillim is the most important thing to do right now, but when a child sees that this is their personal chapter of Tehillim—it’s yours, it belongs to you—it becomes much more special to them. Remind them every day to say that personal chapter, and, with Hashem’s help, it will stay with them. They will get used to saying it. That is something of immeasurable value. Incidentally, the Rebbe once made an observation about this. Dovid Hamelech passed away at the age of seventy. Now, the Gemara says that chapters 1 and 2 of Tehillim are actually one chapter. If they count as one, then the chapter now numbered 72 is really chapter 71. At the end of chapter 71—the seventy-first chapter—are the words, “The prayers of Dovid, son of Yishai, are ended.” The Rebbe once observed that the last chapter Dovid Hamelech said when he was seventy was chapter 71, and then he passed away. That is where it says, “The prayers of Dovid, son of Yishai, are ended.” In other words, Dovid Hamelech himself said his personal chapter of Tehillim. So surely we should do the same. This is the time to pass on that message to our children, the value of saying their personal chapter of Tehillim. This is also the time.

12:33 This is also the time to teach children to give tzedakah. Tzedakah saves from death. Let’s give generously: tzedakah brings the Geulah closer. We need both of these things today: first, to be protected, and second, to bring the Geulah to the Jewish people already. Enough of these troubles; enough of these terrible events. So now is the time to teach children the great value of giving tzedakah and how much power it has. Tell them that tzedakah is a great thing: a person takes money earned through their own work, money that could buy their food, and gives it to someone else. Make giving tzedakah a daily activity with them. Let the children take turns: Who will hand out the coins? Who will go around with the tzedakah box? This is something wonderful. First, it will help now. Giving tzedakah will protect the Jewish people and safeguard them during these days. And, with Hashem’s help, it is also a value that will stay with the children afterward. Another thing: this is the time to instill in them the value of prayer. All the experts say that during this period, a daily routine at home is very important. A routine gives children stability: a set time to wake up, a regular time for breakfast, a time to play. That kind of daily routine is very healthy for their stability right now. So within that routine, it is important to include prayer in the morning and tell them about its value. When a Jew prays and asks Hashem, Hakadosh Boruch Hu listens. He wants to hear our prayers. So let’s pray. Let’s ask Hakadosh Boruch Hu to protect the Jewish people, to protect us, to protect all of us—the soldiers and every single Jew—especially during this time. That way we will instill in them the value of prayer and the power it has. Of course, we can make this even more meaningful

14:26 with stories. Look for stories about how much prayer has helped. Perhaps we parents have personal stories about something that touched us deep down: we prayed from the depths of our hearts and saw blessing and success. Share those stories with them. This is the opportunity. And so, during this difficult, extraordinary time the Jewish people are going through—may it end already, and may we merit the great comfort that will come with the Geulah, with Hashem’s help—let’s give our children these messages. They will help today and, with Hashem’s help, stay with them afterward. So we spoke about telling them stories from our history, stories that show how Hakadosh Boruch Hu is directing everything. “In the beginning G-d created”—and He continues to create at every moment and direct everything. Just as things have always worked out in the end and the Jewish people have remained alive and enduring, so it will be now too, with Hashem’s help. Let’s instill in them the value of saying Tehillim, especially their personal chapter, and how important it is. Let’s teach them to give tzedakah, and teach them and explain to them the value of prayer. With Hashem’s help, this will certainly help, because the power of children is beyond description. As it says in Tehillim, “From the mouths of infants and nursing babies You have established strength, to silence the enemy and the avenger.” Infants and nursing babies have the power to silence the enemy and the avenger. That is exactly what we need now. So first, it will certainly help the situation right now, and, with Hashem’s help, it will also stay with them afterward. May this ordeal come to an end. May we merit peaceful, calm days, when, with Hashem’s help, no Jew will be harmed—not a hair on the head of any Jewish man or woman, G-d forbid. May we all be healthy, peaceful, and as calm as possible, and may our children get through this time in the calmest,

16:35 healthiest, most peaceful way possible. Above all, may Hakadosh Boruch Hu have mercy on us. May all the wounded recover, with Hashem’s help, and may all the captives, all the hostages, return to their families and their families’ embrace. And above all, may we merit the complete Geulah, with Hashem’s help. Then there will also be the resurrection of the dead, and those who were murdered—may Hashem avenge their blood—will be with us again. May all this happen very soon. Good news. Good news. All the best.