The Rebbe’s Explanation on ‘ Shelo Assani Isha’

Welcome to our weekly Mitzvah Yishavas program.

We find ourselves in the month of Nissan, Chodesh HaGeulah, the month of redemption, the month of Yetzias Mitzrayim, and b'zchus nashim tzidkaniyos nig'alu avoseinu mimitzrayim — the merit of Jewish women, we were redeemed from Egypt.

Now, I don't understand why we don't give enough credit to women before Pesach. Women work hard. They prepare, they clean, they cook, they heat the oven. So I think we should give them more credit. We should give credit to Jewish women.

And by the way, on Rosh Hashanah, on the Yomim HaDinim, we do tekiah shofar, by blowing the shofar. If you look at the machzor, you know — tekiah, shevarim, teruah — then they have the roshei teivos, "Tashrak." Tashrak. Why did they put the roshei teivos, the abbreviation? So I saw somewhere that that reminds people about Pesach, about the cleaning of Pesach. Tof is trayben, shin is shayen, reish is rayben, and kuf is kratzen. These are women that scrub, and rub, and soak, and do everything. This is the roshei teivos. In other words, this is the importance of Pesach, the preparation, and for this we have to give credit to nashim tzidkaniyos.

Now, once by yechidus, a woman said to the Rebbe, "The Alter Rebbe made from misnagdim, Chassidim — the Baal HaTanya. His son, the Mitteler Rebbe, made from yunge leit, from young men, Chassidim. The Tzemach Tzedek, the Alter Rebbe's grandson, made from rabbonim, Chassidim. The Rebbe Maharash, the son of the Tzemach Tzedek, made from businessmen, Chassidim. The Rebbe Rashab made from bochurim, Chassidim. The Previous Rebbe made from children, Chassidim. And you, our Rebbe, made from women, Chassidim." This is what she told the Rebbe. The Rebbe smiled.

Now I will share with you a question, one of the letters that a woman asked the Rebbe. Why are men higher than women? And she wrote, "Why is the standard of learning for girls not the same as for boys? Maybe they're lower than boys." She also asked — that we say every day, men say, "Shelo asani ishah" — "Thank G-d that You didn't make me a woman." So that means that women are lower. So that's how she writes to the Rebbe.

Let's see what the Rebbe answers. So I'll read the part where the Rebbe answers first. The Rebbe answers: "Not that girls lack the qualifications to elevate themselves to the standard of knowledge. It's that G-d awarded women a more important and higher responsibility." The Rebbe writes, "A greater task and obligation is to prepare for the future generation, that the education for boys and girls be in the Jewish spirit. Her obligation is to become the akeres habayis." So the Rebbe writes, "to fulfill it to the fullest extent." And the Torah exempted women from learning Torah. So men learn Torah, and women are home, and they take care of the children, and the home — they call her the akeres habayis.

[clears throat]

That means that the akeres habayis is equal to men learning Torah — that a woman takes care of the house. This is the Rebbe's answer.

But by some Chassidim, not Chabad, women are considered second class. Or some people treat women as second class, not equal.

So I want to share with you — a while ago, on my mother's yahrzeit — my mother's name is Hannah — so I was out of town, and they asked me to farbreng in a shtiebel, a big shtiebel, with other Chassidim. So it was my mother's yahrzeit, so I farbrenged. So I spoke about Hannah, the beauty of a woman, the importance of a Jewish woman, at the farbrengen, by the kiddush. And I mentioned over there — Shechinah, Hannah is Hannah, hei is hadlakat neirot, challah, niddah — a woman has three important mitzvahs. And I said there that ish v'ishah — a man is Chabad, Chochmah, Binah, Da'at. A woman is Emunah. When we dance, the feet dance — the Emunah. If a person has Emunah, the Chabad is a better Chabad. By the way, the Chabad with the Emunah — a woman has the Emunah.

So a few men — that's what happened — said to me at the kiddush, Shabbos, we're all sitting, all sitting straight with streimels. "It's not proper for you to speak about women on Shabbos." And they didn't understand — they told me that the Rebbe is the only Rebbe that speaks to women. No other Rebbe spoke to women. "How come he's the only Rebbe that spoke to women? No other Rebbe speaks to women, only the Lubavitcher Rebbe." That's what they were telling me by the kiddush.

So I answered them on that — that the Rebbe is doing exactly what Moshe Rabbeinu did: "Koh tomar l'veis Yaakov" — first he spoke to the women. How could Moshe Rabbeinu speak to women? Why did he speak to women first? So that they even can have an influence on their husbands. And the Rebbe, who is the last Rebbe, the Rebbe before Mashiach, speaks to women. So the first Rebbe, Moshe Rabbeinu, spoke to women, and the Rebbe spoke to women. Why should it be different than Moshe Rabbeinu?

And when Mashiach comes, it says that women will be on a higher level — "nekeivah tesovev gever." So today, before Mashiach — just like the Arizal said that on Friday there's a minhag to taste something from the Shabbos cholent, some people taste it Friday to prepare for Shabbos — so it goes that now, before Mashiach, since women will be higher than men when Mashiach comes, so — you think I speak about women? I speak to women.

Okay, they understood what I said. I'll tell you what else I said. And besides that, I said to them, in Tanach we learn that there were seven nevi'os: Sarah, Miriam, Devorah, Chanah, Avigail, Chuldah, and Esther. Shaul was anointed king, [unclear] in the war. You don't say "Megillas Mordechai," you say "Megillas Esther." So we see that Esther is important. So there's no problem to speak at a kiddush about women.

Now I will share with you a letter — why do we say "shelo asani ishah"? The Rebbe answers somebody in another letter, and I'll finish with that. And this is a very, very interesting point that the Rebbe mentions. I'm going to read this inside because every word is important.

"In nature," the Rebbe says, "the husband brings parnassah, he works, while the wife takes care of the house and children. He is the mashpia and she is the mekabel. That's the nature." Now, this is a very complicated task, to take care of children. You need skills, you need patience, you need understanding, and many high qualities. This is the akeres habayis that Hashem gave to women. The husband, the Rebbe writes, doesn't have these qualities and skills.

So because of these qualities, the Torah exempted the Jewish women from the obligation to fulfill certain mitzvahs. She is equal with the husband in all the mitzvahs that say — all the 613, the 248 mitzvos that say. However, the Rebbe writes, in regard to the mitzvos that say the Jewish women are excused, they're potur from doing them — fulfilling mainly those that have a time factor, or limit, out of consideration for her important, weighty duties. Because she has these duties, she was exempted. That's how holy her duties are — men couldn't do it. Therefore, the Jewish woman is privileged, not unprivileged.

However, the male — the Yid — who has not been given the special privileges enjoyed by Jewish women, has something to compensate for them, namely the opportunity to commune with G-d more frequently, the Rebbe writes, through the fulfillment of those mitzvos from which Jewish women were exempt. And it's for this reason, for the opportunity to serve G-d with these additional mitzvos, that men say, "Baruch atah Hashem shelo asani ishah." The Rebbe writes, the effort — they do mitzvos — but that's the reason.

So now we see how the Rebbe feels about women. So b'zchus nashim tzidkaniyos nig'alu avoseinu mimitzrayim, and when Mashiach will come — "nekeivah tesovev gever" — and women will be on a higher level. So to prepare us all before Mashiach, this is why the Rebbe speaks to women.

In mid-session next week we will continue our weekly program. Thank you.