A Few Memories of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka

Welcome to our weekly Shabbos program. Last week we spoke about the Frierdiker Rebbe — in Russia, in Poland — and how he came to America, and how he had to tackle very serious challenges here in America. America was not easy for him, but he did not get intimidated. But today, since we are now around the time of Yud Shevat, I want to say something about the Rebbetzin, Chaya Mushka.

Our Rebbe came with the Rebbetzin, Chaya Mushka, to America more like 1941 — more than a year after the Frierdiker Rebbe came, in 1940. He also had no money. They had nowhere — they didn't have an apartment. Where did they live? They went to 770. The room was the bedroom — that's where they lived. And at night, and in the daytime, that room was an office. So Rabbi Mindel worked with the Rebbe on all these publications there for ten years, but that room was a room where they worked all the time.

The Rebbetzin was upstairs. She went to her mother, and to her sister [unclear name], also [where] Mana the nurse, who came on the boat, [stayed] — since she wasn't married, she also stayed upstairs.

Now, Mana — that's a program by itself, which I'm just going to say a couple of things about here. Mana was the nurse of the Rebbetzin from Russia. She was very close also with Rabbi and Mrs. Mindel — she came on the boat also. So I want to say, she was close with Rabbi and Mrs. Mindel also.

And when Rabbi Mindel came back from Russia — he came back alone first — the Rebbetzin called him and said, "I need to hear a report about Russia only from you, please — when can you come over?" Rabbi Mindel had come back, and one of the reasons he came back was he wasn't feeling well, so he said, "As soon as I feel a little better, I will see you." She said, "Good." And unfortunately, [something] happened.

I remember — I mentioned it once — many years later, when I got married, Mana lived in Long Beach, the same city as Rabbi and Mrs. Mindel. So when Rabbi Mindel went to yechidus, or he went to a farbrengen, Mana asked him, "Can you drop me off by the Rebbetzin?" She was like a sister to the Rebbetzin. The Rebbetzin never had a close friend like Mana. I know the Rebbetzin had close friends — close meaning they called once in a while, they came — but she and Mana were together hours and hours. They spoke in Russian. There was no one as close to the Rebbetzin as Mana — very close. She was in this house many times. She told us a lot, but today is not the time [to go into it].

So Mana asked Rabbi Mindel, "You drop me off at the Rebbetzin's" — after the farbrengen, this was "pick me up and take me home." Fine. After the farbrengen, Mana came to my house — he had parked the car there — and he asked me, "Do me a favor, go to the Rebbetzin's house and pick up Mana, bring her here, and I'll take her to Long Beach."

So I took the car — this was maybe a year or two after I got married — and I knocked on the door. The Rebbetzin opened the door and the first thing she says is, "Come in." I mean, I was young — I was about twenty-four years old. "Come in," and I said, "I'm here for Mana." She says, "Just a minute," and she went to call Mana. While Mana was getting ready, the Rebbetzin came back to the door and started asking me questions — talking to me, asking who I was — very friendly.

While I was talking to the Rebbetzin, I was nervous. I had an envelope in my pocket with — I don't know, in those days maybe twenty or thirty dollars — and I lost it. I touched, I couldn't find it, I don't know. And I was talking to the Rebbetzin, so I happened to say, "Rebbetzin, I hope I didn't leave anything here" — that's the word I used. So the Rebbetzin smiled at me and said, "Of course you — of course you left a very good impression." This is the type of person she was — the Rebbetzin was very modest; this is what that remark showed.

So I went and picked up Mana, I took Mana. Mana was very, very close with the Rebbetzin — a week before [the Frierdiker Rebbe's passing], the Frierdiker Rebbe gave Mana his coat. And by the way, Mana was so close to the family that when the Frierdiker Rebbe used to give presents to every single [chossid], Mana also [received one] — Mana was like a sister, like part of the family. In any case, the Frierdiker Rebbe gave her a coat, and he said to her, "I don't need it anymore." This was before Yud Shevat — that coat, as I will show you now.

The picture of this coat is the Frierdiker Rebbe's coat. Now there's a story behind this coat. Mana gave me the coat — I had it in my house. She gave it to me as a present. When the Rebbe spoke about anyone who has [an item like this] in the house — it's like a "bomb" in the house [a tremendous responsibility] — so I didn't want to keep the coat, I didn't want anything to do with it. So I asked Rabbi Mindel, "When you go to yechidus, do me a favor, give it back to the Rebbe." He said, "That doesn't mean anything — you got a present, Mana gave it to you." I said, "Please." He never liked to use yechidus time for anything personal — he never did — but I begged him so much that I didn't want the coat, so he said, "Good, I'll take it." He took it, I put it in a bag, he put it in his briefcase, and he went to yechidus. Right at the end of the yechidus he said to the Rebbe that I didn't want the coat, because of what the Rebbe had said [about keeping such items]. The Rebbe smiled and said, "Give it back to them," and so on. So I'm happy to have this coat — but I was afraid; he also said it doesn't mean anything bad that Mana gave it to me as a present. But anyway, I just wanted to tell you that.

So, coming back to the Rebbetzin — once the Rebbetzin called [my] house to speak to Mrs. Mindel. She was here — this was the last [visit] before she [passed away — or before some event]. She said she wanted to come with my wife for a visit. So the two of them, my wife and the Rebbetzin, walked over to the library here, and she sat there for maybe almost an hour, I guess. Anyway — this was the Rebbetzin's way: she was a hidden person, she was a home person.

And this is a lesson we can learn from the Rebbetzin: the Rebbetzin always refused to have her picture taken. Her greatest merit was that she enabled the Rebbe to do what he had to do in this world and accomplish it — this is thanks to the Rebbetzin; this is entirely her credit.

The Rebbe was hardly home — he was out till late nights, farbrenging till late nights, and left in the morning. The Rebbetzin was alone almost all her life — alone. Other rebbetzins had people with them in the house, in the dining room, but the Rebbe left the house and went to 770 — this was his place. 770 was the Rebbe's place.

And you know, usually when, G-d forbid, somebody has a heart attack or a stroke, it happens either at work or at home — that's how it is with people. So the Rebbe had his heart attack in 770 — he was in shul, that's where he always was. And the Rebbe had a stroke by the Ohel, because this was his place — the Rebbe's place. And who enabled the Rebbe? This is credit — this is credit to the Rebbetzin.

And as the Rebbe once said: a man is called "ish," a woman is called "isha." A man is [made] from the outside — he was made like that. A woman was made from the inside, and that's why a woman's role is to be inside, not outside. This is why, if children grow up the way they're supposed to, the credit goes to the mother, not to the father — because she makes the house. This is what we can learn.

Now, we never even thought growing up that the Rebbe had a wife — even when the whole [wedding story] happened. And afterward, [we didn't know] who the Rebbetzin really was, because really nobody knew her — I wouldn't say nobody, there were a few people who were close — but we never even thought about her, we never even thought about it when the whole thing happened, afterward.

So, since this is connected to her and to the Rebbe, we should merit, together, [to see the redemption] very soon. Thank you.