Why Chassidim Flocked to Our Daughter’s Wedding

Welcome to our weekly program, The Inside Story of Chabad in America, through the Mindel archives.

Since this coming week is the yahrzeit of [unclear], it reminds me of my daughter's wedding. My daughter got married [unclear — possibly a specific date] at night, so the chuppah was in 770, and the custom is that after the chuppah we all go back to the hall for the seudah, the meal.

All of a sudden, right after the chuppah, Rabbi Groner comes out and says that the Rebbe is going to say a few words after the chuppah. So the Rebbe came out, the Rebbetzin was also there. The Rebbe said a few words, then the Rebbe gave out dollars — he gave dollars first to the chosson and kallah, then he gave dollars to the parents, to the grandparents, and then to everybody else in the hall.

The Rebbe mentioned that since today is the yahrzeit of [unclear], they should be remembered, so there is a farbrengen here tonight, and this is also [the day of] [unclear] today, so everyone should go participate in the simcha.

Now, you can't imagine what was going on. I ordered 450 portions for my wedding, and all of a sudden thousands of people came. This was years ago; it wasn't as many as today, but everybody — since the Rebbe said people should participate — so people came.

I had invited some people who are not Chabad, from out of town, so they didn't know what was happening. They were regular baalei batim; they came to a wedding, and here they saw what looked like a mob scene — it's not a wedding, it's like a [unclear]. As a matter of fact, I remember one of the people — finally the waiter put a piece of chicken on the table for him, so he had a chicken, then he went to get a chair from somewhere, came back — no chicken, the chicken was gone. I mean, it was just like being swarmed — it was something to see.

So these people said to me, "I feel bad for you, I feel very bad for you — you made a wedding and here it's like a mob." So I said, "I feel very happy — my wife and I, we have a Rebbe that spoke and told everybody to come to the wedding, and I don't know — it's not our zechus, it's probably the zechus of my parents, or my in-laws, or my grandparents — my zeide was [unclear], maybe that — but it's not my zechus."

They couldn't understand that. By the way, before — my wife's father, and also [a rabbi, unclear], at the same time he married off his son or daughter — the Rebbe answered them the same thing. This was after the Rebbe had stopped doing yechidus. So the Rebbe said to them, "I would [bless you], but I can't, because then I would have to do it for other people too, and I can't make a difference between people." So he gave the same answer to [unclear] and to [unclear].

Now, talking about weddings — the Rebbe once said that when two people get together, they build a binyan — by this, the greatest binyan — two people getting together and they build a binyan [la'ad, forever]. What can be higher than that? But it's a pity, he said, that it's given into the hands of children. But how else can you build if not with young people? It's such a holy thing — how can you build with old people? You can't build much.

Anyways, I want to end off with a happy note. Rabbi Liberman was the Frierdiker Rebbe's secretary — this was in Poland, in Russia — so he wasn't married, and he stayed at the Frierdiker Rebbe's house. All of a sudden the Frierdiker Rebbe comes over to him and says, "Tomorrow, please don't hang around — I have a visitor coming, don't be around here." The Frierdiker Rebbe was very, very eidel [refined] — he didn't say "leave" or anything like that.

This reminds me — the Frierdiker Rebbe was once upstairs in 770 eating, and [someone] was standing there and pushing — there was a lot of noise. So the Frierdiker Rebbe turns around to them and says, "Even to angels you say [excuse me]" — he didn't want to tell someone to leave without being polite, he just didn't want the noise. So he said, "Tomorrow I'm asking you not to be here."

Who was the guest that was supposed to come the next day? It was [Rabbi Liberman]'s mother — she came to talk to the Frierdiker Rebbe about a shidduch for her son. The Frierdiker Rebbe had a daughter, and she had a son, so they came to talk about it. She said to the Frierdiker Rebbe, "I have a good son, I want [him matched] — such a son for your daughter." So the Frierdiker Rebbe said, "I would be glad to give you [my daughter], but I don't have money." We all know he traveled, he was poor, he didn't have money. "I would definitely give you," so she said — I don't remember the exact word she used, but she said something like, "Give me the nadan [dowry]" — whatever word she used, everyone understood what that meant. So the Frierdiker Rebbe said to her, "How can I give it to you when I have an older daughter? She'd be jealous — why should I give it to you?" The mother was thinking, and then he said, "No, [Hashem] will already know what to do," and she was satisfied with that answer.

So, I wanted to mention this — what happened. Since we mentioned before about my daughter's wedding, I want to say one more thing: Rabbi Mindel was with the Rebbe taking dictation — this was after we had the wedding — and he came in to the Rebbe after the dictation. So the Rebbe said to Mindel — the Rebbe said he's coming from the wedding. So [Mindel] asked, did the Rebbe say something? So he said no. So [Mindel said] — so we heard — what about the — so that's it, what about the — so the next day he told my wife to say a few words, to say at least [a thank you], so she said...

[The transcript ends here, mid-sentence.]