The Mother Who Forbade Her Son to Visit a Kever

The Mother Who Forbade Her Son to Visit a Kever ### Episode 226 — 11 Menachem Av 5784

Welcome to our weekly program. This program is dedicated to Rabbi Butman — next week is his shloshim. Rabbi Butman, his entire life, was involved with strong faith. He was... I want to say more about this next week, but every day he used to speak, giving a short vort and a short story of the Rebbe. Many times he asked people for stories of the Rebbe, for maasios, but his method was that he always checked if the story was emes — if the story was true. Unless the story happened to that person himself, he always called to check: "If you heard a story, where did you hear it from?" And he would call people to verify exactly how the story happened.

You know, there is a saying: don't believe what you hear, believe half of what you see. So not all the stories that you hear about the Rebbe are true — just like with the Baal Shem Tov, not all the stories that we hear about the Baal Shem Tov are true, but they could be true. So even the Rebbe — when he told a story, many times he would say, "Did you hear it from so-and-so, or from so-and-so?" But when he said it, he said it's true for sure.

So Rabbi Butman made sure that the stories were accurate. Once he asked me for a story, and I gave him a few stories, and I remember he called up — he asked me for the telephone number, he called the people, and he found out exactly, exactly, how the story happened. So his stories are one hundred percent [accurate].

So I want to share with you a story that I told him, and I believe he repeated it publicly once, a few years ago.

I was in Yerushalayim. This was on Shabbos. I was sitting near a Yid — he said it was Alexander Wohl [?]. He looked like an elderly Yid. So he asked me, "Are you a chabadnik?" I said to him, "It's not easy to be a real chabadnik, but I belong to Chabad." So he said to me, "I am surely not a chabadnik. I grew up — my family has no connection with Chabad — until I got two letters from the Rebbe, and then I became a chossid." That's not me saying it — that's what he told me. After Shabbos he said he would go back home; he wanted to bring over two letters that he had gotten from the Rebbe. So he gave me the letters, and I am going to share one letter with you today — if I have time, I'll share the other one.

But before I share the letter, I want to tell you what he told me. He is an einekel — a grandson — of [a tzaddik — name unclear]. By the way, some people say that this tzaddik had no children, but it seems from the Rebbe's letter that he had daughters — he did have children, and I believe the daughters wrote a sefer, though I'm not certain. He is buried on Har Hazeisim in Yerushalayim. He lived, I believe, in the time of [unclear].

So every Thursday, he told me, he went to the kever. One Thursday afternoon he was standing by the kever when, all of a sudden, he saw two Arabs with knives standing behind him. He immediately began to say Shema, and he stood saying Shema for fifteen minutes, thinking that this was the end for him. After fifteen minutes he turned around, and the Arabs were gone — they were not there. He came home and told his mother what had happened — that two Arabs had been standing there — and this is what happened: his mother said to him, "I don't allow you to go to the kever anymore. I don't want you to go. The only way you can go is if you write to the Rebbe, and the Rebbe gives you permission to go — then I will be satisfied. Otherwise you cannot go." She herself was not [a chassid] — she simply said, "Only the Rebbe [can decide]."

So he wrote to the Rebbe and told him the whole story of what had happened, and I will share with you the letter the Rebbe wrote back to him. There were two letters — one I don't think we'll have time for today, maybe next week — but I'll tell you what the Rebbe answered him in the one letter. The Rebbe wrote to him, and here I have the letter he gave me. It says: this was dated [such and such]. "I received your letter, with your question, dated such and such, and you write asking how you should proceed from now on regarding going to the kever on Thursdays." He writes that the young man should ask [the person in charge] how he should proceed from now on — whether he should go or not go — and whatever that person says, he should do.

So, he went to the Rav in charge of the kever and spoke to him directly. The Rav told him: first, he should never go alone — he may go, but not alone — and second, he should always make sure to go in the morning, not in the afternoon, not towards evening, but he may go. So he showed the letter to his mother, and his mother was satisfied. She said, "If the Rebbe says this, you have to listen to the Rebbe." That was that.

The Rebbe writes further that it would be good for him to have the mezuzos and tefillin in his house checked, that they should be in accordance with halacha, if they had not been checked for twelve months. He told me this affected him deeply — he had always wondered why the Rebbe was so makpid (particular) in his wording, why the Rebbe used a specific word. He went to have the mezuzos and tefillin checked. The mezuzos, he said, were kosher, but the tefillin — the parshiyos inside were found to be possul (invalid). This shocked him, because he had been wondering why the Rebbe was so precise and particular in his words. And from then on, he became a chossid. He said, "I'm not a chabadnik, I'm..." [he became one through this].

He also told me he had wondered why the Rebbe doesn't wear a shtreimel — he said, "The Rebbe — such a Rebbe — such a tzaddik — and no shtreimel?" That's what happened. So this is the story I once shared with Rabbi Butman, and he repeated the story — he had heard the same story from this very person. I don't think he had the second letter, which I will share with you next week, but this is the story.

Now, I found here a few letters that the Rebbe wrote to someone, which came about through Rabbi Butman. Rabbi Butman had people writing to the Rebbe. So here I have a letter — there are quite a few letters — it says, written to somebody in English:

"This is to acknowledge receipt of your letter of January 6th. I have also just received the good news from Rabbi Shmuel Butman that the test proved negative, since he wrote to the Rebbe about this. May G‑d grant that your daughter should have a complete and speedy recovery, and that henceforth there should be only good news, healthy things to talk about."

The Rebbe continues: "I duly remembered your daughter in prayer when visiting the holy resting place of my father-in-law, the Previous Rebbe, of saintly memory, whose yahrzeit is in the month of [Shevat], and no doubt you know the story of his life and work. Perhaps you also heard that upon arriving in the United States, he declared that he does not wish to have a copyright on his activities — on the contrary, he would be very happy were others to emulate him in spreading Yiddishkeit, true Yiddishkeit, especially in this country, where these activities can be carried on without hindrance and without fear, but indeed with help and encouragement. I will conclude, therefore, with the confident hope that you will not rest content with your own accomplishments in the above, but will use your fullest influence in this direction, especially after I had the pleasure of meeting and talking with you, when it was also mentioned that our Torah is called Toras Chaim."

Then he signs. The Rebbe adds a P.S.: "With reference to your desire for an appointment to see me, it would certainly be a pleasure; unfortunately, the appointment calendar is fully booked until after Pesach, and it would not be right to displace a previous appointment for which a person has been waiting, unavoidably, too long." And he says, "You can take it up with Rabbi Shmuel Butman."

So we see Rabbi Butman's connection with the Rebbe. There are more letters I have that the Rebbe answered to people through Rabbi Butman.

So, since today is [relevant date], I thought I would mention this. Also, the lesson from this letter — we know how important it is. I remember during the Six-Day War in '67, people relied on the Rebbe — "What will the Rebbe say" — in other words, even people who were not necessarily [chassidim] — the guidance of the Rebbe was very, very important. And this is so even right now — if we simply learn, if we have an issue, if we have a question, we can always think, "What would the Rebbe say?"

So again, next week we will continue. Thank you.