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Historic Treasures · Episode 202 · 15 Shvat 5784 · 9:40

‘Rebbe, I’m Depressed and Overweight’

A letter in English from the Rebbe to a man who wrote that he suffered from depression following bad dreams, overeating and excess weight, and asked about the difference between sadness and bitterness. In the response, based on King David’s verse “I have set Hashem before me always,” the Rebbe states that a person always stands before the King of kings of kings, Who has entrusted him with important tasks. The Rebbe further explains that sadness stems from a sense of insignificance, whereas every individual is important and can influence others as a living example. A postscript (P.S.) addresses his dreams about chibut hakever and kaf hakela, mentioned in Tanya, with an instruction to reject these thoughts and turn his mind to other matters. In explaining the letter, a distinction is drawn between paralyzing sadness and motivating bitterness, and the saying is cited that although sadness is not a sin, it leads to what no sin can lead to, just as a mikveh brings about what no mitzvah can bring about.

Automatic transcript of the original English recording.

Hebrew translation, side by side →

Welcome to our weekly program, The Inside Story of Chabad in America, through the Mindel archives. Today I want to continue, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, with the Rebbe's letters - what we can learn from the Rebbe's English letters. Some questions and answers: a person asked the Rebbe what is the difference between atzvus and merirus, between depression and bitterness. Then he writes to the Rebbe that he has bad dreams, and that makes him depressed - I think he probably told the Rebbe what it was about also. And then he writes that he's depressed, he overeats - he writes that he eats, you know, and he's overweight, and that makes him depressed. So that's what he writes to the Rebbe.

Many, many times in the Rebbe's letters - I guess he told them to keep the names of the people who wrote, usually it doesn't have one, but there are some. So here, this is one of the things that I saw next to the answer.

So the Rebbe says like this: Dovid HaMelech says, "Shivisi Hashem L'negdi Tamid" - I have set Hashem before me always. So the Rebbe tells him there is a G-d. Just like if you would have stood in front of a king, you would eat differently - you probably wouldn't overeat, he didn't say that, he didn't say overeat, but you would eat differently, or you would behave differently. The same thing also - you should know, in the morning you should always, right away, get up with the awareness that you're standing in front of Hashem. And this is also an answer for depression.

He says such a feeling is often the result of thinking oneself unimportant, and therefore it is of no consequence how one acts or behaves, and he becomes discouraged because he thinks that he is insignificant - this is very important. But realizing this - from the Rebbe - standing in front of the King of all Kings, Whom the King has honored and privileged with important tasks - in other words, the Rebbe is telling him that you're an important person. And like it says, every person should say the world was created because of me - in other words, he shouldn't feel unimportant, he is the most important in this world. It emphasizes the importance of every individual, and especially you - and he underlined the word "you" - you have the opportunity to influence others by being a living example. That gives you a special [unclear], and through this you automatically get rid of depression. In other words, feel that you're somebody. And most of the time the depressed people, they feel they're depressed.

What's atzvus? Atzvus, depression, paralyzes a person. Merirus energizes a person - bitterness. A person feels guilty sometimes, and he should, many times, but it shouldn't paralyze you. Sometimes it's bitter - you take medicine, the doctor says it's important, it's bitter, you don't want to take it, but you know that in the end it'll be good. So medicine is bitter, but you should take it, because it energizes you. But there's a saying which I've heard a few times: atzvus is not a mitzvah. It doesn't say anywhere in the Tanya that depression is a sin - it doesn't say that - but what depression can bring, no other sin can bring.

The worst thing is when a person is depressed, for whatever reason - or, as this person wrote, the Rebbe writes that this person feels that he's not worth anything. And all the problems in the world we see outside is because the youth, they're depressed, they don't know where to go, they don't know what to do. So atzvus is not a sin, but it can bring what no sin can bring. Mikvah is not a mitzvah - you should go, the person goes to the mikvah to be clean - I'm talking about a man, a man - a woman, yes, but a man, it's not a mitzvah, it's a... I don't want to go into the idea of a mikvah - but what a mikvah can bring, no other mitzvah can bring. What depression can bring, no other sin can bring. What a mikvah can bring, no other mitzvah can bring, because that is merirus - that's what makes a person [unclear]. So this is one part of the thing.

Then there is a P.S., and this is amazing - to this person, that's why it's a different P.S. that the Rebbe wrote - that's an amazing answer. If a person dreams at night what he thinks about in the daytime - he says, you probably learned about... we're talking about, maybe there was a time it speaks about Chibut HaKever and Kaf HaKela - you dreamed about it. You know, after one hundred and twenty years, if you learn Tanya - Tanya speaks about it - for certain things a person did in this world, this is a punishment, this is suffering, he suffers very [unclear]. And I guess the Rebbe didn't say, but I guess this person learned, and he's into it - he thinks about what's going to happen after he dies, and the whole thing, so he becomes depressed, I guess, and he dreamed about it. And instead of being happy to avert it by learning - and as it says - instead, he continues to do the opposite. There is a way to get rid of it, that he doesn't use - in other words, he focuses on one thing. But it says that a person should say it by heart and repeat it to himself all the time. When a person walks outside, you should always have in mind these things, and through that you get rid of it. So, on one hand, a person dreams things like that, but on the other hand, there is a way - there is a way to prevent this. Whenever these kind of ideas enter your mind, as it says in Tanya, push it away from your mind with other things, and you'll be fine. Together, this is the P.S.

So, in other words, the Rebbe tells him that a person who is depressed - this is mentioned in quite a few letters, like that - that depression brings one of the worst things, and you shouldn't dwell on that. If it comes into your mind, push it away, think about something else, and you'll get rid of all these things. Learn and say [Tanya], and it will help you. This is an answer from the Rebbe. Thank you very much.