Why We Say “Hamakom” at a Shiva House

Welcome to our weekly program, The Inside Story of Chabad in America, through the Mindel Archives. This week's topic is from Parshas Vayechi.

The possuk says that the time came for Yaakov, for Yisroel, to die - it uses the word "lamus." And Rashi says that Yaakov asked Yosef that he should promise him that he would take him out of Mitzrayim and carry him and bury him in Eretz Yisroel, and that's called chesed shel emes - a real, true kindness. Why is it a real, true kindness? Because a dead person cannot pay you back. So we call it chesed v'emes. At the end of his days his children were with him - that was his tzavaah, that was his will.

So it says "Vayechi Yaakov" - it doesn't say "he died," it doesn't say Yaakov died. So Rashi says: why doesn't it say he died? Because if his children - the ones who are alive - are alive, then the father too is alive. So it doesn't say "mes," because he too is alive.

So the explanation is: there are two things by a tzaddik - there is a guf and there is a neshama. As far as the body is concerned, he died - he has to go through kevurah, we have to say Kaddish for the person, and all the halachos - this is as far as the body is concerned. But a tzaddik's life is his ahavah, yirah, and emunah - his faith. His life is a spiritual life, called life. They are still living - in the life that is called "dead" [unclear]. So the life of a tzaddik - especially the life of a tzaddik whose life is love, fear, and faith - doesn't stop; his life continues constantly. And not only that, but he gives over life to everybody. [Unclear - heard as "shop"] said: "I am going up to Heaven, but I am leaving the hishtadlus to you." In other words, not only is he alive, but he gives life. What does it mean, he gives life? He is a man of emunah, he is an oveid Hashem, and if we follow his ways and we learn his Torah, then we become close to him, and he is alive, and he gives us life.

Now, I heard a vort about this: [unclear - a wordplay on the letters of the word "tzaddik"] - when you are close to the tzaddik, you are alive; when you are far from the tzaddik, that brings about your lack of life. So, the tzaddik - if we connect ourselves to him, we learn his Torah, then he gives us life, and we too live.

So there's no fear of death, because it's like a transition - he's living here now, and then he goes from one place to another place. So there's no tragedy when a tzaddik passes away. But if a Jew's whole life is gashmius, his whole life is taivos, his whole life is covered with jealousy, with food, with money - if that's his life, then when he passes away it's a tragedy. But for a tzaddik it's not a tragedy - he goes from one place to another place. And this applies not only to a tzaddik, but to any Yid who keeps the mitzvos - he too goes from one place to another place.

We know this from an incident that happened to one of the chassidim - when the KGB took him into a room, and fifteen people were sitting there, and each one had a gun, and they questioned him, and he answered in Yiddish. They told him he should speak in Russian - he knew Russian, but he didn't want to speak Russian, he wanted to speak Yiddish. So they said, "You see this gun? It's going to teach you a lesson." So [unclear - heard as "the Philippi"] says: whoever has one world and two gods is afraid of this gun; but whoever has one G-d in two worlds is not afraid of the gun - it's only a transition. So, he's going to die, but the same thing - when he dies it's called "alive." He said something even more - that his whole life in this world was [unclear], so it's only going from here - it's not a shock. And not only that, it's even greater than before - it's an ascent.

I once heard that when the Rebbe went to be menachem avel someone in South America, who had lost his daughter, he was asked: we say by a mourner "HaMakom yenachem eschem" - the word "Makom" means "place." G-d is called "HaMakom" because He is present in every place that you see. But why is He called "Makom"? Why specifically that name, or [unclear] - by the possuk, why "Makom"? So he explained: every Jew has a place in this world. Now that place is empty - that place needs comforting - because before, the person was in a body, he was limited; now he is not limited. So whatever good the person did in this world - that should be a remembrance, and we should learn from that person.

So if that's the case - if death is only a transition and it's not a tragedy for a frum Yid - why did Rabbeinu HaKodosh cry before he passed away? They asked him, "why are you crying?" So he said: "Because now I cannot put on tefillin, I can't do mitzvos, I can't do [unclear], I can't do all the mitzvos." That's why he cried - not because he was going to die, because there is no death for a tzaddik. So when a tzaddik dies, his ruach and his neshama go with him, but his nefesh always stays in the kever. So it's not scary for a Yid who passes away.

And that's why it says here - the beginning says "Vayechi Yaakov" - because at first they're talking about the guf, but later on it's talking about Yaakov's life - Yaakov's life, Yaakov lamus - why didn't it say he died? He did die, he was buried, but since his life was ahavah, yirah, and emunah, so he will never die. And this is why his passing is called "Vayechi" by Yaakov Avinu - even though it's speaking about death, Yaakov lived, because Yaakov's life was life.

So, Yaakov - next week we will continue our weekly program. Thank you.