Why Zoom Isn’t a Real Farbrengen

Welcome to our weekly program, The Inside Story of Chabad in America Through the Mindel Archives.

A few weeks ago, before Yud Shvat, we had three programs that covered Yud Shvat sayings of the Frierdiker Rebbe by a farbrengen — some things he told Rabbi Mindel when he came to America in the 40s, '40, '41, '42 — that America is no different than Europe.

One of the things that we spoke about then was what the Frierdiker Rebbe said to Chassidim — that learning, to really learn, you have to sit and learn, learn with a chavrusa, have a shiur, go to a shiur. But it cannot be accomplished, he says, by just listening to a drosha or to speakers. A lot of people think that if they hear a speaker speak, and even if he speaks well, that's still not the same thing. I mean, it can be judged, I guess — like when you drive a car, he didn't say that, but when you drive a car, you cannot learn from a sefer, so you listen to a speaker. But otherwise, that is not real learning, like that.

We also mentioned that the Frierdiker Rebbe said — what does hiskashrus mean, to be connected to a Rebbe? It is not by looking, not by looking at pictures, but by actually learning the Rebbe's maamarim, the Rebbe's Torah. This is how you become mekushar to a Rebbe. The same thing, I guess, also goes with videos — some people think that watching a video of the Rebbe is how [to become mekushar], but that's not the way. It seems, from the Frierdiker Rebbe, that he says you have to actually sit and learn, and that is what will bring a person to the [right] level.

So I had a talk over the phone with a chossid — a real chossid, a chossid who is a [unclear], a living example, an alte chossid. He lives overseas, he doesn't live in America. I don't know if I could say his name, because I didn't ask him — maybe I'll ask him, maybe I can say his name, but I didn't ask him if I could mention his name. He's a chossid I wanted to hear from, so I heard his opinion.

He told me that somebody told him about this program I had, about what I just said, and he said he wanted to add something to it — he said, "If you ever speak about this again, you can add what I want to tell you."

Listening to him, he's a genuine person — like we once mentioned, an eved ne'eman — the Frierdiker Rebbe said he searched for the truth, he found the truth, and he lived with the truth, not a politician, he's it. He says like this: he saw a farbrengen on Zoom — they call it a Zoom. He says, now, since the pandemic, he tells me, okay, he understands, but a farbrengen, he says, is such a holy thing — how can you call a farbrengen a Zoom? That's what he tells me.

A farbrengen is a very important thing. When the pandemic is over, he tells me, he doesn't think it should ever continue [on Zoom], because the person is going to sit on the couch, he says, eat candies, instead of going to a farbrengen. I mean, after the pandemic, I'm sure we're going to have farbrengens — I mean, it's not going to be on Zoom. Maybe we'll put it on Zoom too, so that people who are unable to attend can also see it on Zoom, but the actual farbrengen — he doesn't feel that [Zoom is the way]. That's what he tells me — it's a feeling from an alte chossid, he tells me.

Now, he tells me the beauty of a farbrengen, that the Frierdiker Rebbe says — and I wrote this down — people become united, you sit together. A farbrengen brings, he says, to Yidden, love, achdus, internal strength, one helps another. That's only when you actually sit together, when people are sitting together. You cannot call a farbrengen a Zoom instead — that should be instead, again he says, now, fine, but it should not be like that in the future.

He also says that the Frierdiker Rebbe said the klal is that everybody takes part in somebody's [simcha and troubles] — your simcha is my simcha, your issue is my issue — and that's what a farbrengen brings about, that you bring to anash good hachlatos [resolutions], to make sure — this is whatever his opinion is — but all, when you sit together...

And he says that the Rebbe was saying [about] love, that we all have one Father, [to bring together]... this is what a farbrengen should bring, this is the beauty of a farbrengen. And a farbrengen, he says, brings achdus. Then he added — and the Frierdiker Rebbe said, and this is what I want to bring out here — that you cannot have it through Zoom. You can have it even through learning — learning is very important — but what a farbrengen brings to fruition has to be done b'davka, not through lecturing, but b'davka sitting together. That should always be now.

This reminds me of a story — people know it. It says Moshiach is going to come, and he's going to go first to people that are tamidim, people that are learning. So he'll go to the Litvishe — people that are learning, it's a big lomdus. So Moshiach is going to test them, try to test them — of course the test is not easy, you really have to know the Gemara — so he'll test them, and they're not going to get a hundred, they'll probably get a 70 or 60, because the test is not an easy one. So they're going to say to Moshiach, "Why didn't you come a day later, so we would be able to have more time to prepare ourselves, so we'll be able to have a better mark on our test?"

So then he goes to the Chassidim. What do Chassidim do? They sit, they drink, they sing, they give l'chaims. So Moshiach says to them, "Maybe I can have a l'chaim, you can have a little bit too." So they say, "I'm sorry, why didn't you come a bit earlier — there would have been more left over."

This is the feeling of my father — and today is my father's yahrzeit, so I want to [share] what my father once told me. I don't know if it was a Gaon, he said — it was a Gaon, it was a Rishon, or it was a [unclear] — or it was one of the Rebbeim, it wasn't, but it was a holy person. He once had a yahrzeit for his mother, and he forgot to say Kaddish. So his mother came to him at night in a dream afterward, and his mother said to him, "My son, I know you forgot to say Kaddish for me — I can forgive you, even though Kaddish is very important for the neshama, I can forgive you for that — but I cannot forgive you that you didn't make a l'chaim, you didn't give out schnapps and cake. You know, when you have a yahrzeit, you're supposed to give [a l'chaim]. I cannot forgive you, because when people say l'chaim, the pleasure the neshama gets is much greater than from saying Kaddish. That I cannot forgive you for." This is what a farbrengen is.

When two Yidden are together, it becomes warm. And as we say — every Shabbos we say it — the passage about when the brachos can come down, [through] Avraham Avinu — then the brachos become real. When is the brocho of Avraham given to us? That's when Avraham can give us a real brocho — when we are all united, when we're all together. That you cannot have through Zoom, you cannot have in any other way, only by sitting together, by a farbrengen.

Now, of course, since today is Parshas Vayakhel — Vayakhel was the last Shabbos that the Rebbe ever spoke before his stroke. I remember, I was there — the Rebbe spoke then about Ahavas Yisroel. By Vayakhel there was togetherness, a farbrengen — that was the last farbrengen of the Rebbe. What did the Rebbe speak about? About Ahavas Yisroel.

So today is Parshas Vayakhel, my father's yahrzeit, so I want to say, first of all, [unclear], and my father should be a meilitz yosher, and since we are getting closer now to the era of the redemption, we should, we should get to the real, final redemption. Thank you.